Unless you’re a hobbit on Middle Earth, there’s a very good chance you’ll need a pair of shoes to protect your feet. You may also need different kinds of shoes depending on occasion. Some people wear special shoes related to their job. Some wear them as a fashion statement. But why or when we wear them, shoes always have a major place in our lives. If you’re a famous dictator’s wife in the Philippines, they’re a major collector’s item. If you’re an American Muslim from the Middle East, they’re something you throw at Donald Trump at one of his rallies as a way of saying, “Thanks for stereotyping us as terrorists and making our lives miserable, you xenophobic asshole.” And if you’re a woman at Gabe’s, it’s likely they probably won’t have the shoes you want available. Of course, I always try to keep a hold of my shoes as much as I can. I have high heels for special occasions depending on seasons. I have a pair of tennis shoes for everyday life. I have pair of old tennis shoes for yard work. I have sandals to slip on when I need to go outside. I have old marching band shoes I wear for job interviews. I have a pair of flip flops for a public showers. I have slippers for around the house. And I have a pair of boots for winter weather. So that makes my shoe wardrobe. Now I can show you all the great shoes out there but you’ll probably be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll show you shoes that might make you scratch your heads. And most of these won’t make a comfortable fit or have any practical use whatsoever. For your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of unique shoes.
- A high heel must have a nice colorful plume in the front.
Not sure if I like the colors on this one. But this is an interesting shoe to look at.
2. You’ve never seen a golden sandal like this.
Guess a shoe like this doesn’t come cheap. And I think having to pay more than $50 for a pair of sneakers was something to bitch about.
3. This high heel shoe is meant for the woman who uses antlers in all of her decorating.
Of course, these aren’t real antlers. But they’ll look sensational in any hunting trophy room.
4. Heard of an alligator purse? How about an alligator shoe?
I hope that gator isn’t real. Or is it a crocodile. If the latter, than this must be the best croc I’ve seen. Literally.
5. These hooves are golden.
Yes, these are golden hoof shoes. And I don’t think they look too comfortable. Seriously, they don’t seem to have much support.
6. This pair of sandals come from the fringes.
However, I hope these don’t come with a Native American costume. Because I don’t think Indian women would’ve worn them.
7. These boots must be nicely laced up.
Well, they seem to have a lot of lace on them. Or are those yarn cobwebs or fishnets?
8. How arched platform slippers like these?
Not sure if they’d be more comfortable than high heels. But they sure as hell aren’t shoes I can walk in.
9. This pair comes with a real bite.
And they’re not kidding here. Not sure if they’re shoes I’d want to sink my teeth into. Because they don’t seem like I can walk in them.
10. If wicked witches had high heeled boots, they’d look like these.
Okay, maybe if they wore stiletto boots. Still, I think ruby slippers are much more comfortable.
11. With this pair of sandals, the eyes have it.
And they seem to be staring right back at you. Seems kind of creepy to me.
12. This sneaker comes with its very own CD player.
A CD player sneaker. wonder how that works. Wonder if I even want this.
13. This pair gives the term “footie slippers” a whole new meaning.
Okay, this is pretty strange. You put your foot into slippers shaped like feet. Insane.
14. Now this boot is pretty surreal.
I think someone might’ve made this. Was probably on acid at the time. Yes, I don’t have much of an explanation for it either.
15. Not sure if these high heels are for walking or ice skating.
And if they’re for both, can I remove the blades? Then again, I don’t think skating in high heels is a good idea.
16. Did this person step in some gum?
No, that’s just how the shoe is designed. The gum is at the heel. I know what you’re thinking but it’s not what it looks like.
17. These high heels are surely ap-peeling.
If only Carmen Miranda could wear these to match her hat. Then her whole outfit would’ve been perfect.
18. These high heel shoes come extra spiked.
If there were orc women on Middle Earth, you can bet they’d wear shoes like these. And they’d use them as weapons.
19. I’ve heard that hoof heeled shoes are all the rage these days.
Yes, these are made from horse legs. I know it’s kind of creepy. But at least these have some support unlike the other hoof shoes.
20. This shoe has a chocolate cupcake sweetness to it.
However, I don’t think it offers great foot support at the heel. But it has a nice strawberry on top.
21. For Jaws fans, this high heeled shoe is hard to resist.
Perfect for the fashion runway during Shark Week. Of course, It has teeth in the back and a dorsal fin on the front.
22. These heels must be at the wrong place.
Because those heels have to be on the back for support. Not near the sole which doesn’t accomplish much.
23. Try walking in shoes with bulky cushions on them.
At least I think they’re cushions. But they’re quite bulky that I wouldn’t be caught dead in them.
24. A shoe like this is for anyone who takes life from the horns.
I have to put this on my post since my sister went to VCU. Their mascot is a ram. This shoe has a ram’s horn.
25. Wonder what it’s like to walk in shoes like these.
They just seem to be made from plastic with ribbons on it. Also, seem easily breakable.
26. These sundae shoes will bring sweet smiles.
They even have platform and heels on the cones. Not to mention, the cherry on top.
27. These leaf shoes are the height of fall fashion.
Kind of remind me what you’d see Robin Hood wear. If he tried living off the land a little more. Then again, leaf shoes wouldn’t look like these.
28. This tentacle shoe is great for undersea couture.
It’s also the shoe you’d see Maleficent wear with Ursula’s parts. Okay, maybe I went too far with that one.
29. No one could resist this squirrelicorn heel.
Brought to you by the latest in fashion and rogue taxidermy. Yeah, this is pretty freaky.
30. Ever thought you’d like to walk in a suspended basket? Now you can.
Yes, this is one crazy shoe. Seems likely to break once you stand up in it.
31. Wonder if this shoe has stepped in something.
No, that’s just how the shoe’s designed. Not sure if it provides any ample support.
32. There’s something fishy about this high heeled shoe.
That it has two goldfish in it. Hope they were taken out after the photo shoot. Or just photoshopped on here.
33. This high heel shoe brings in the flowery spring.
Know the flowers are fake in this one. Because if they were real, you couldn’t wear it.
34. Not sure if abstract shoes provide some support.
Because this shoe doesn’t seem sturdy or provide any support. Not sure what would a podiatrist think.
35. This octopus shoe is the latest in ocean fashion.
Wonder if it’s available in purple for those who want to dress up as Ursula. Then again, normal shoes will do.
36. Bet you never saw wooden shoes like these.
Probably not, because clogs were peasant wear, folks. Still, they don’t look comfortable.
37. These shoes carry an infinity of gold rings.
Yes, these gold boots go up to one’s knee in gold rings. Not sure if they’re flattering though.
38. Ladies, if you like high heels and scuba diving, these flipper shoes are for you.
These are flipper high heels which can go with any scuba diving dress at your desire. Great for swimming and long walks at the beach, especially during a hurricane or flood.
39. Never saw sandal platforms like these before.
Well, they seem sturdy. But I don’t think they’re necessarily comfortable at any stretch of the imagination.
40. This gnome heeled shoe will support you.
May be more wearable than a lot of the others in this post. But its biggest drawback is tackiness.
41. Take a look at this flowery platform sandal.
Well, at least it has a lovely design on it. But as a piece of practical footwear, it wouldn’t pass the test.
42. These flaming high heels are smoking hot.
Yes, they certainly have flames, all right. And I’m sure Katniss would wear ones that look real on the Hunger Games.
43. This pair of shoes come specially bladed.
Now how do you walk in these exactly? Because they don’t seem to have a kind of shoe sole that you’d find on every shoe.
44. These pink heels are fit for a princess.
These seem to be made from plastic or rubber. In any case, they seem rather tacky in princess wear.
45. This green sandal comes with a vine.
Well, it’s great for anything leafy. Like if you’re dressed as the Jolly Green Giant’s wife for Halloween.
46. These caged heels are best left to the birds.
Doesn’t hurt that they have a macaw in them. Still, these look quite nifty.
47. Didn’t know you can make a high heeled shoe from an erector set.
Then again, if Tim Gunn had an erector set as a kid, he’d certainly make this. Still, doesn’t look comfortable.
48. Not I don’t think anything’s spilled here.
It’s just how the shoe is designed, folks. Though the heel seems quite thin. Like the cup handle front.
49. These black and gold shoes go great with the fancy scenery.
They have gold soles and black leather. However, wouldn’t want to walk in these.
50. These wooden heeled boots seem to have no soles to them.
They’re just wooden stands with straps on them. Not great for walking around in at all.
51. These playground heels are worth a slide.
But I’m sure they’re not meant for the playground. Because these don’t seem to have much support with the ladder.
52. These high heeled shoes come better in swirls.
These are perfect for any gorgon in your life. Though you might not want to look her in the eye for it’ll make you petrified.
53. These wire heels almost feel like nothing.
Because they’re useless to protecting your bare feet. You’re better off in socks.
54. These shoes seem like they’re on wheels.
Seems like you’d find someone wearing in TRON. And even then, I’m not sure how anyone could walk in these.
55. These red high boots don’t have much on the heel.
Now these can’t be comfortable. Seriously, how can anyone walk in these? It’s insane.
56. You can literally mop the floor with this shoe.
But please dip it in water first before you proceed. Because it won’t be effective.
57. How about shoes with crystal bottoms?
And these are held in a gray mesh. Sure they’re impractical but they’re quite cool.
58. Speaking of crystals, this heel comes spiked.
And in shiny colors, too. Not something I’d want to walk in. Worried I might stab someone.
59. You’d almost think these shoes were made from the skin of one’s feet.
In a way, that might be so. But the shoes seem quite squared if you ask me.
60. With these shoes, who knows how you’ll be walking.
Now these really can’t be good for your feet. They don’t seem to have a great structure. Why?
61. These leather shoes now come with horseshoes.
Great for making horse tracks in mud or snow. But not on a race track because you probably can’t run with them.
62. This sandal is available in Queen Anne’s Lace.
But is it wearable? Seems too delicate to try. Not sure why this exists.
63. Now this is the kind of heel to rock in.
Well, if you really like rock music. But I wouldn’t advise you to wear high heels at a concert.
64. This shoe has a rather feathery disposition.
As far as I could tell, anyway. Because I’d swear that Bjork would actually wear this at a concert.
65. This pie heel comes in cherry.
Yes, this is a cherry pie shoe. But the heel is quite forked.
66. How about strutting in these sundae boots?
Well, strawberry sundae boots anyway. Got to love how they’re topped with fudge, cherries, and whipped cream.
67. These shoes come fully fanged.
Great for a Halloween costume. Only if you can walk in them. Not sure if I could.
68. Finally, a shoe for the open road.
Seems like this shoe road is busy. But at least you can wear it better than a lot of the other ones on this post.
69. This pair of heels comes in roped together.
Doesn’t hurt that the soles are of corks as far as I know. Not sure what to make of these.
70. Guess this is what you’d call a “pasta heel.”
Even comes covered in spaghetti and meatballs. Hope it doesn’t make a mess.
71. Sometimes it helps if you walk on a spine.
This pair goes with a heel of vertebrae. Though they may not be great for your feet.
72. Try to walk a foot in this sandwich.
Not exactly what you get at Subway is it? Not sure if it’s great for walking either.
73. This stiletto is great for a sinister gal.
Except when it comes to your feet. Then it’s just plain monstrous.
74. These shoes are all soled up to the teeth.
And I mean literally in this case. Might be fine to walk in them. But they’re quite creepy.
75. Never thought you can find a heel so monstrous.
Yes, I know this shoe design makes no sense. But it’ll sure look great for a Halloween costume. Got to love the teeth.
76. Seems like someone’s walking in spilled paint.
Actually that’s just a shoe design complete with a splatter. Don’t try to look into it too deeply.
77. This sandal is all corked.
Well, nothing but corked, anyway. Hope this was made from those from a craft store. Or there might be a problem.
78. These googly eyed shoes seem to see everything.
Doesn’t help that the eyes come in all different sizes. Looks pretty freaky to me.
79. This lipstick heel is all made up.
Well, it’s an elegant shoe, lipstick or not. Hope it doesn’t leave red marks.
80. This high heeled boot is all squared.
Well, in all different colors, anyway. Not sure why it looks this way. But I like it.
81. A shoe like this can help you spring into action.
Well, at least at the heel. Not sure if the spring can actually compress if pressed.
82. These heels are pure steampunk gold.
Had to put a steampunk shoe somewhere in this post. Notice how the heel looks mechanized.
83. How about a braided heel?
This one is golden if you get my drift. Other than that, it resembles a normal shoe.
84. Nothing is more stylish than an orchid heel.
This one comes in pink. But orchids can be of any color. Looks quite delicate.
85. Not sure if these shoes can wheel you in.
Though you might try. Yet, I don’t think these were made for practicality.
86. These denim boots are heavy duty.
They even come with pockets. Probably made from an old pair of jeans, no doubt.
87. Ever tried on a monstrosity heel like this.
I’ve seen many heels like this in different colors. But yeah, it’s pretty freak if you asked me.
88. There’s nothing in like snake skin.
Well, the snake skin is one thing. But the shape of these shoes is another. At any rate, they’re weird looking.
89. Ever seen a caged sandal before?
Yes, it’s another cage shoe. But I do like the lovely flower decorations on this.
90. These prehistoric heels are the latest from Jurassic Park.
Got to love how they feature a T-Rex for support. Now that’s a real dinosaur.
91. This cyberpunk boot comes in full gear.
Well, not exactly with gears for it also has spikes at the foot. But yeah, it seems straight from Bladerunner.
92. Take a look at these golden scorpion heels.
Never thought such fearsome creatures could be so stylish on a shoe. And yes, these are scorpions which are worse than crabs. Because they’re poisonous.
93. These fish sandals are great for the beach.
Though people might think you’re a bit fishy. Might want to stay away from sharks in these for obvious reasons.
94. Try on this footlong flip flop.
Well, it’s on a dark bread slice instead of a bun. But it has a lot of toppings.
95. They always said that moleskin slippers are comfy.
Though these moleskin shoes are pretty damn creepy. But that’s what you get with taxidermy.
96. These shoes come with multiple supports.
You got that right. But that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable or even walkable.
97. You’d almost think these shoes were melting.
No, that’s just how the shoes were made. Though I wouldn’t want to walk in these.
98. With this heel, it’s have gun will travel.
Guaranteed to make you a belle at the NRA convention. Though I hope the gun and bullets aren’t operational.
99. Looks like Atlas has quite a foot to hold in this heel.
I think this shoe design is called, “Golddigger.” Seems oddly fitting to me.
100. A shoe like this can really be a deadly weapon when knuckles are involved.
Guess this is called “a purse snatcher’s worst nightmare. Though the heel could do quite a bit of damage.