Of course, one hallmarks of Christmas is known as the Christmas card that people send each other over the holidays. Some may have a letter attached as well as pictures of kids while may be bought from the store. Others might have been designed by the families themselves either specially ordered or used with photoshop or computer. Still, while some cards may be pleasing, others should never be sent. Still, I could go on and on about some of the well designed Christmas cards, but of course, no one wants to see them on the internet (though my sister the art student may differ on hat one). So without further adieu, here is a collection of tacky Christmas cards which I hope to enjoy (and my sincere apologies for the families depicted as I mock their presentations mercilessly but most of these photos are internet public domain anyway while some of them may be intentional).
1. Of course, they wanted to say Merry Christmas but they were too busy on their smartphones during the photo shoot.
So much with technology.
2. Nothing puts the “Christ” in Christmas like a tattooed nativity scene on your back.
Kind of sticks with you, doesn’t it?
3. Trying to juxtapose your love of Star Wars in a Christmas card. Interesting concept….
I think I sense a disturbance in the Force.
4. If the leopard and gazelle scene is symbolic of your family dynamic, I’d suggest you see a therapist right away.
Yeah, just don’t take any card decorating ideas from National Geographic. Besides, people may wonder whether your family is dysfunctional.
5. Sure I may feel the same way but would I put those views on a Christmas card to send to my relatives?
Also, the graphic imagery on decapitation.
6. Mistletoe, appropriate. Missile toe? WTF?
Bad pun intended. Also, not everyone pronounces “mistletoe” and missile toe” the same way.
7. Nothing says “Peace on Earth” than a Christmas card promoting the 2nd Amendment.
Seriously, Christmas is not a time of year to promote gun rights, especially in Newtown. Also, may make others want to vouch for gun control.
8.Having your kids restrained by Christmas lights and duct tape is a great way to get them to sit still for the camera.
Of course, let’s just hope someone from Child Services doesn’t get hold of this.
9. Merry Christmas from the Furries.
I know this is photoshopped but this is pretty strange, especially with a cat Santa and dog reindeer.
10. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” than seeing Santa on a surfboard holding a screaming kid.
If this isn’t photoshopped, this kid is going to be scarred for life.
11. Because our cats walk on two legs and sing in our church choir.
You have to wonder whether this photoshop was done under the influence of drugs.
12. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than using your baby as a reindeer to pull your sleigh.
Must be another drug addled photoshop but still kind of freaky.
13. Because your relatives need to see Dad in a dress from the Renaissance Festival.
If real men wear pink, then Dad must take manliness to a new level. Also, ditto the boy in puffy purple pants and pink shirt.
14. Because there’s nothing more adorable than seeing your little girl trying to ruin a picture by flipping the bird.
Her grandparents must be shocked and devastated upon seeing this.
15. Since your pets usually take the place of your children.
I know many people consider their pets as part of the family but this is ridiculous.
16. Three generations of barbers in ugly sweaters, one of them doesn’t seem to like it.
Reminds me of a poorly done local commercial for some reason.
17. Nothing expresses family togetherness over the holidays like having your Christmas card photo taken from prison.
This is probably one of the nicest ones on this post and you have to give it to them for trying to make the best of the situation even if one of them has been very very naughty. Still, it’s prison and her relatives may wonder if she’s with the right man.
18. Merry Christmas from the guy whose family just left him.
Divorced or single, either way, he doesn’t seem to be having a merry Christmas.
19. Merry Christmas from the single guy with two cats who just wants to go places.
He might have had his picture taken there, but he just didn’t have the money to travel.
20. Trapped in the snow globe.
Seriously, who thinks of these photo ops?
21. Merry Christmas from the white Gangsta Rap fans.
And you wonder why we make fun of white hip-hop fans. This is just cheesy.
22. Seriously, just because you have a computer doesn’t mean you should include it in your Christmas card.
Only the late Steve Jobs would be proud.
23. Merry Christmas from your single neighborhood mailman.
Of course, he wants everyone to know that he has no family, that he knows of. Still, can’t think of such card picture as a thinly veiled personal ad.
24. Nothing says Christmas than your kids being scared of Santa.
There are a lot of card pictures like this if you know what I mean.
25. Seasons Greetings from the fur trapping Iditarod family.
Let’s just hope they don’t know anyone from PETA. I mean imagine their faces.
26. Merry Christmas from America or rural Afghanistan?
Seriously, burqas should never be worn in Christmas cards, especially by non-Muslim women.
27. Because you couldn’t say “Merry Christmas” without your Halloween costumes.
Especially with the parents dressed as freakish clowns.
28. Because little sister couldn’t have the strength to smile during a photo shoot.
Everyone has a limit and this girl is certainly not happy.
29. Let’s hope the baby isn’t being used for Mom’s golfing hobby.
Baby is probably clinging to Daddy’s knee because Mommy is a little tee’d off right now.
30. Nothing says “Silent Night” like duct taping your kids’ mouths shut for the picture.
This will shut up the little buggers.
31. Merry Christmas from Santa’s kidnappers.
To put it this way, guns and Christmas simply don’t mix, end of story.
32. If you’re an expectant couple, I don’t think posing as Mary and Joseph is a good idea.
I may not have much of a problem with the Mary and Joseph costumes, but the caption is a whole different matter. I mean it’s kind of offensive.
33. Christmas in Parentland.
Yeah, baby’s first Christmas is kind of like that.
34. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than costumed bestiality.
Of course, this is probably her way of telling her parents she’s dating a furry.
35. Nothing so ironic than a beautiful angel giving you coal.
Pretty angel, shitty present unless you’re freezing or a miner.
36. Letting baby smoke isn’t going to make you Father of the Year.
Well, as Big Tobacco might say in their corporate meetings, you better get them hooked while they’re young.
37. Didn’t know Alfred Hitchcock made Christmas movies.
It was called The Birds Holiday Special.
38. Nothing expresses family togetherness over the holidays than a family shave.
Seriously, why give a kid a safety razor? Also, I don’t think mom and kid need to shave, unless they have some freak hormone imbalance.
39. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” than posing in what you sleep.
Or telling the family Dad either sleeps nude or is an exhibitionist.
40. Merry Christmas from the neighbors you don’t want to mess with.
Just when do little kids have a hairier chest than some adult men? Also, what does martial arts have to do with Christmas?
More:
http://happyplace.someecards.com/12895/the-most-shockingly-bizarre-family-holiday-cards-ever-sent
From Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/24/wtf-holiday-cards-30-bizarre-christmas-card-portraits_n_2358943.html
From Cap’n Wacky: http://www.capnwacky.com/holiday/cards.html
From iVillage: http://www.ivillage.com/ridiculously-awkward-holiday-photos/6-b-404528
http://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/inappropriate-holiday-cards/
The Lone Girl in a Crowd 