Salute the Red, White, and Blue United States of America with These Patriotic 4th of July Treats (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on June 20, 2016

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With Father’s Day being over, I can now proceed to 4th of July. For me as a blogger, the 4th of July is usually an odd one out since it takes place in the summer while other major holidays fall around during the fall, winter, and early spring. As far as Americans are concerned, the 4th of July is denotes the day in 1776 when the United States (then 13 colonies) officially severed ties with Great Britain during the American Revolution. However, the Brits might beg to differ on this account since the US was still a British possession as far as they’re concerned. Anyway, last year I did a treat post on 4th of July along with a series of Declaration of Independence signers and it was a measurable success. So I decided to do another one for the occasion mostly because the treat posts tend to be so popular for other holidays, too. Thus, expect a lot of treats to be in the red, white, and blue because they are the colors of the American flag. I’ll also have other ones coming up which are related to crafts and so forth. So we hold ourselves to be self-evident that all men are created equal and I want you to enjoy these patriotic 4th of July treats for your star spangled reading pleasure.

There’s no better way for a cake lover to show patriotic pride than with a mini cupcake American flag.

Notice how the sprinkles stand in for stars. Wonder how long it took to decorate this.

2. Nothing makes better 4th of July candy than patriotic gumdrop stars.

I’m not a fan of gumdrops. But since these are red, white, and blue stars, they go on this post.

3. Any American kid will certainly love these edible firework treats.

Includes Rice Krispie treats with marshmallows on them. Well, marshmallows with red icing on them anyway.

4. Snap, crackle, and pop this 4th of July with this Rice Krispie treat American flag.

Covered with blue and red M&Ms for a more patriotic measure. What more is there about this to love?

5. For more healthy patriotic options, these flag fruit kabobs are just the American ticket.

Yes, I put some flag fruit kabobs on my last 4th of July treat post. But these have raspberries and cheese.

6. It’s not a 4th of July trifle without some cake stars and whipped cream.

Well, I’ve had trifles in my last 4th of July treat post last year. But not with stars inside like in this one.

7. There’s no dessert better for a patriotic basket than these cookies.

Includes a flag, a flag star, hotdog, hamburger, fireworks, and Uncle Sam. In all, it’s an all-American dessert platter.

8. For sweet treats on the 4th, these lollipops got you covered.

I thought these were popsicles at first. But then I realize they were probably lollipops for cocktails and such.

9. There’s no better way to celebrate the 4th of July than with these star spangled cake pops.

Always have to have some cake pops on these posts. Yet, at least one in this set is of an American flag.

10. This red, white, and blue cheesecake will make a fine addition to any American 4th of July dessert platter.

Sure it only has one star. But come on, the star design is very hard to convert on a flag cake like this.

11. For Rice Krispie star spangled platter, this bowl with treats is at your service.

The bowl contains red, white, and blue in it and so do some of the treats. Also has red, white, and blue Rice Krispie stars.

12. Each of these American flag cups contains something fruity.

Well, something with a strawberry slice or a few blueberries. Still, this is quite creative to say the least.

13. For extra 4th of July fun, kids will surely enjoy these patriotic pinwheel cookies.

Each of these contain red, white, and blue on a stick. But please, don’t try to blow on them. They are for eating.

14. For frozen 4th of July treats, these ice cream sandwiches will do just fine.

These are just ice cream sandwiches with red, white, and blue sprinkles. Not that hard to do if you buy the ice cream sandwiches from a store.

15. Have your 4th of July dessert platter squared away with these red, white, and blue jello squares.

Wonder how they managed to get layers on these. Because I know how liquids tend to mix in with one another.

16. If jello treats on your thing, how about a jello dish with a fruity design?

This one has an icing design with blueberries and strawberries. It’s of a 7 pointed star as far as I know. Yet, it also has red, white, and blue layers, too.

17. If you want to celebrate America’s birthday the healthy way, this star spangled fruit salad is for you.

Notice how the scheme is red, white, and blue. Because you can easily pull that off with fruits thanks to blueberries.

18. Grace your patriotic 4th of July dessert platter with this fruit pie.

This is one of the many items I wanted to put in last year but couldn’t. Yet, I’m sure it’s a great star spangled addition to your platter. And is healthy, too.

19. For a real patriotic kick, try some 4th of July fudge squares.

Well, these are tie dyed fudge squares. But they’re red, white, and blue as well as all American just the same.

20. For a star-spangled lunch or appetizer, these star sandwiches are just the thing.

However, they are best used with white bread since it goes well with the red, white, and blue scheme. These ones also have peanut butter and jelly in them, too.

21. For some Latin and colonial fare, this Betsy Ross dish gives you stripes with salsa.

Nevertheless, contrary to popular belief, Betsy Ross didn’t design the first American flag. That story was made up by her grandchildren. But I think this treat is quite creative if you ask me.

22. No star spangled treat platter is complete without some patriotic pretzels.

This set is red, white, and blue with stars on them. What more can you want. Stars may not be edible though.

23. Show your love for America with these American flag heart cookies.

I’m sure these heart cookies are professionally made due to the star detail. But I’m sure they’re a fine addition to any American 4th of July dessert platter.

24. A trifle like this has the best star spangled banner display on top.

And it doesn’t hurt that the flag is made from strawberries and blue berries. I’m sure that helps tremendously. Another one I wanted to add last year but couldn’t.

25. There’s no fancier patriotic treat this 4th than these patriotic mini parfaits.

These look like small dessert firecrackers. But they’re small parfaits with a patriotic punch.

26. Red and blue jello stars always go great with 4th of July dessert platters.

Sure they may only be in red and blue. But at least you can put one in another on a dish.

27. For large star tarts, white icing and fruit go hand in hand.

This one contains raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries. Yet, it looks great just the same.

28. A sheet cake flag is always shows patriotic pride when you add some fruit.

Yes, I had one in my 4th of July treat post last year. But this one has raspberries and icing stars on it. So it's different.

Yes, I had one in my 4th of July treat post last year. But this one has raspberry stripes and icing stars on it. So it’s different.

29. For patriotic pancake breakfasts, add some red, white, and blue syrup.

Wonder how you can get that from a store. But it sure gives a syrupy firework burst if you ask me.

30. These cake fireworks push pops certainly have a rocket’s red glare.

These have red and blue cake layers wit h icing as well as shooting star cookies on the top. I’m sure any American kid will like these.

31. These macarons are made with 100% red, white, and blue glory.

Well, they have red and blue sandwiches with white icing. But they’re probably just as sickeningly sweet as macarons are.

32. These jello sundaes are certainly a patriotic summer treat.

Well, these have small jello squares with icing or ice cream. Either way, like the yellow stars on them.

33. You can’t have a 4th of July party without these red, white, and blue Oreos.

Also great for Bastille Day if your French. However, not sure if French people would prefer the light blue though.

34. A 4th of July bundt should be red, white, and blue through and through.

As you see from the slice cross section. Not like the flag one last year. But still has the same colors.

35. For easy firecracker treats, you might want to stick with marshmallows.

These use marshmallow for the white. And they’re decorated with red and blue detail as desired.

36. No star spangled appetizer platter is complete without a patriotic fruit tray.

Even has some stars in the dip. Includes marshmallows,strawberries, and blueberries.

37. A 4th of July gingerbread house is always decorated in red, white, and blue candy.

And they say that the blue roof is quite minty. Yet, the window candies still have wrappers.

38. For more refined patriotic treats, this cheescake tart is just the ticket.

And it seems like it came straight from a recipe book or magazine. Remember that the berries go on top by the way.

39. For a more patriotic chocolaty taste, go with these star brownies.

These have a white drizzle with red, white, and blue drizzle. Also look quite delicious, at least to me.

40. Nothing makes a dessert star spangled banner better than some cookie stars.

Well, sugar cookie stars anyway. I’m sure these are professionally made or made by someone with too much time on their hands.

41. For a great star spangled snack, try these patriotic pretzel sticks.

They have stars on top and stripes on the bottom. What more can you want?

42. For summer fun and American pride, these cookies will make a great addition to any 4th of July dessert platter.

After all, the 4th of July is a summer holiday. And these were certainly made to reflect red, white, and blue glory, too.

43. Cupcakes like these will make your American heart melt with pride.

It helps that some of these even have Captain America shields on them too. Probably professionally made though.

44. Nothing evokes more patriotic pride than this red, white, and blue gingerbread house.

Yes, this is another 4th of July gingerbread house. But this one uses more candy and I couldn’t pass it up.

45. No appetizer captures the spirit of America than red, white, and blue deviled eggs.

Sure I had deviled eggs on last year’s post. But these are of a different configuration entirely. See for yourself.

46. For something unconventionally sweeter for your 4th of July party, these meringue cookies will do nicely.

However, they tend to resemble red, white, and blue garlic cloves to me. But that’s beside the point.

47. Sometimes a great flag sheet cake can be made with both fruit and icing.

Well, we kind of established that. But this takes it to a whole new level. Love the blue part the best.

48. For patriotic pizza lovers, this is a cheese fan’s delight.

Because it’s a flag cheese pizza with mozzarella stick stripes and cheddar stars. And I’m sure it’s quite tasty.

49. For your dessert platter on 4th of July, these flag cookies will sure make a tasty addition.

Didn’t have flag cookies in my 4th of July treat post from last year. But these are kind of cute.

50. This sheet flag cake would make a wonderful star spangled dessert platter centerpiece.

Unlike some sheet cakes on this post, this one is all icing. And it has all the 50 stars, too. Definitely came from a bakery.

51. As far as your guests are concerned, these 4th of July cookies will go off with a bang.

Sure they may be professionally made. But a lot of these tend to consist of fireworks and their sounds.

52. These red, white, and blue donuts are great for any patriotic 4th of July brunch.

Sure they may not be good for you. But they seem quite easy to decorate and someone will find them tasty.

53. For 4th of July candy, these chocolate bars always come with the flag.

Well, the flag is inside. These may be promoted as wedding favors. But I’m just putting them in for parties as well.

54. This fruit pizza surely takes a great stars and stripes shape.

And it doesn’t hurt that it resembles Captain America’s shield. Consists of raspberries at stripes and blueberries at the center star.

55. This Hershey’s firework cake is a chocolate and fruit lover’s delight.

I think this came from Hershey. But it sure has lovely decorations on it. Love the chocolate the best.

56. 4th of July jello shots are always healthier with fruit in them.

But note that they may contain alcohol that’s not legal for those 21 and under. Consult the host before you or your kids consume.

57. I’m sure there could be no more American cake with stars and stripes like this one.

Yes, this is an American flag star cake. And it has sections with stars and stripes. Looks pretty cool.

58. These jello stars come with their own red, white and blue layers.

Yes, I had red, white, and blue jello stars on here before. But these are made much differently than the ones I showed previously. So they go on the post.

59. Nothing graces a 4th of July dessert platter than this fruit star cake at the center.

Yet, another 4th of July treat I wanted to put in last year’s post but couldn’t, Still, love the sparklers on it.

60. For July 4th, this star spangled sheet cake will certainly wow your American guests with pride.

Yes, I know I showed a sheet cake like this before. But this one is in a different shade of blue and its stripes go over the edge. Besides, I think it’s better made.

61. For your 4th of July BBQ, this hotdog tray will sure delight your guests.

This even comes with some star chips for good measure. What American couldn’t love that?

62. An American flag cake like this should have an Old Glory center.

With its exterior coated in chocolate icing and M&Ms. Not sure if the interior looks doable though.

63. These patriotic pancakes can be part of any star spangled breakfast.

Just be sure to add blueberries for the extra red, white, and blue touch. Not sure about the red pancakes though.

64. Nothing makes a more American 4th of July than this American flag cake roll.

Wanted to put this one on last year’s 4th of July treat post, too. But I do like the stripes and stars on this.

65. Sometimes the best American flag cookies don’t come with icing at all.

Because these flag cookies use food coloring and are assembled before they’re baked. Seem pretty easy to make at any rate.

66. A fruit pizza cake like this is said to be berry patriotic.

Yes, I know I put one on my post last year. But this one has blackberries instead of blueberries though.

67. Show your guests American pride with this 4th of July snack mix.

Well, it’s called “Patriotic Snack Mix” at any rate. I’m sure it just takes Chex mix and adding things edible that are red, white, and blue.

68. For a quality 4th of July dessert platter, this blueberry pie has bright stars.

Sure it may not have the stripes. But I think any full blooded American would certainly like it.

69. This American flag fruit pizza will have 4th of July party guests coming back for more.

Yet, another American flag fruit pizza. But this one has strawberries, blueberries, and banana. So it’s much healthier than the other one I showed.

70. This American flag cake has stars and stripes all around.

It also has decorations to resemble fireworks. Definitely professionally made by the way.

71. Any American patriot is bound to enjoy this red, white, and blue chevron cookie cake.

And here it is in a pan. Red, white, and blue as well as covered in M&Ms.

72. These American flag cupcakes are full of patriotic goodness.

Yes, these are cupcakes of the stars and stripes itself. And I certainly couldn't do a better job decorating them then its bakery.

Yes, these are cupcakes of the stars and stripes itself. And I certainly couldn’t do a better job decorating them then the bakery responsible.

73. These flag cupcakes will make you want to wave Old Glory.

These also have blueberries and fruit roll ups for decorations. Quite clever if you ask me.

74. These pinwheel cupcakes are certainly a 4th of July dessert to behold.

And I’m positive these came straight out of a bakery. But I love the pinwheels on them.

75. These red, white, and blue fruit stars will be a real 4th of July delight.

After all, they’re probably healthy and have an ingenious design. These are kind of neat to look at, too.

76. Cookies like these have quite star spangled stars.

Sure these star flag cookies are professionally made. But I like them just the same because of the lovely design.

77. There is a no better American treat for the 4th of July than American flag pretzel squares.

They may look easy because they require few ingredients. But they require a fine eye for detail though.

78. No 4th of July lunch can be complete without some patriotic pasta.

And yes, it includes red, white, and blue pasta with alfredo sauce. But I’m sure any patriotic child will love it.

79. Nothing shows American patriotism than strawberries in the stars and stripes.

And here they are. Sure they may look easy. But they’re probably a lot harder to decorate than they initially seem.

80. Old Uncle Sam lends his hat to this cake.

And what an amazing cake it is. Like how it has 3 stars at the bottom.

Hop Down the Bunny Trail for These Easter Treats (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 19, 2016

Shortly after Saint Patrick’s day comes Easter, which consists of bunnies, flowers, butterflies, bright pastel colors, lambs, chicks, ducks, and colored eggs. I know I’m writing this in late February, which is a little early. But this year Easter falls in March and soon it will be upon us before we know it. So I want to get my Easter stuff in as early as I can. Nevertheless, last year I published a bunch of Easter posts and they were a huge success. So I decided to do Easter again this year. Still, it’s more of a religious holiday to celebrate the miraculous resurrection of Christ which commends the triumph of life over death as well as the coming of spring and the birth of new life. Yet, to me, it’s more of a holiday for children than adults. After all, I tended to enjoy the holiday more when I was a kid than as an adult, which basically consists of going to my grandparents’ house and socializing with relatives. Oh, and watching your younger cousins find eggs. However, that it’s named after a pagan goddess, Easter isn’t a pagan holiday that’s also known as Pasch as in paschal season which is linked to the Jewish feast of Passover that Christians d0n’t even celebrate. But we call it Easter because it sounds much better than “Pasch” which sounds like something a hipster would name their dog. But in a lot of countries in Europe and Latin America it’s called Pascha. Of course, as with most holidays, it’s celebrated with food as you may see. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of Easter treats.

Start your Easter morning with some pineapple bunny and fruit salad.

The bunny is made from pineapple but with blueberry attributes. It’s also surrounded by strawberries and more blueberries.

2. With Easter egg cookies, you can decorate them however you’d like.

I’m sure these were made at some fancy bakery. But you get the idea about decorating Easter egg cookies.

3. If you aren’t up to making a bunny cake, how about a cake of bunny peeps in the carrot patch?

Yes, I know the peep bunnies aren’t edible. But still, it seems pretty easy to make as well as adorable.

4. This year forget chocolate bunnies and try some chocolate sheep.

Okay, these are chocolate lamb cookies you have to assemble. But you get the idea. Besides, these are cute.

5. This Easter, impress your family with this Easter basket cake.

Yes it looks as if it’s from a bakery. And I’m not sure you can eat the handle. Still, I like it.

6. Serve your guests this Easter with some bunny fruit salad.

In this dish, the bunny is carved from watermelon and fitted with fruity attributes. Very clever if I do say so myself.

7. Wish good luck this Easter with these fortune cookies.

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Seems like they have fortune cookies for every occasion. Still, the bunnies and chicks are cute.

8. Nothing brings the spirit of Easter like these bunny biscuits.

Now biscuits and buns may seem like the same. But they have a rather different composition. Still, these bunnies are adorable.

9. If you like spring flowers, then these cookies should be a real treat.

I guess these were professionally made since they’d take a lot of time to decorate. But these are very pretty.

10. For the kids, I’m sure an edible Eater basket would do just fine.

The basket is made from melted marshmallows and Fruity Pebbles. But it’s not the most inedible thing about this item.

11. If you like Twinkies, then you’ll like these bunny cars.

Since Hostess went, I’m not sure if they even make Twinkies anymore. Still, you have to admire the simple creativity to make these.

12. This Easter, these marshmallow peep cookies are sure to satisfy.

I may not have had these in my life. But I’m positive that they’re way more edible than the real thing. Trust me.

13. Grace your veggie platter this year with a cauliflower bunny.

Well, this one has a cauliflower face, cucumber ears, olive eyes and mouth, a cherry tomato nose, and carrot whiskers. Nevertheless, it’s cute.

14. If you love butterflies, then you’ll like these cookies on your Easter dessert platter.

I guess these were made in the bakery. Nevertheless, I do like how each butterfly is decorated.

15. This year put your Easter cupcakes in small flower pots instead.

Sure the flowers might be fake and inedible. But at least you can reuse the pots and eat the chocolate dirt.

16. If you like hats, then these Easter bonnet cookies will suit your fancy.

May not be the Easter bonnets I posted on last year. But they will do quite nicely.

17. This Easter, you can’t do wrong with having a chick cheese ball on your appetizer platter.

From a standpoint, this doesn’t seem hard to make. After all, it requires only few attributes like eyes, beak, and feet.

18. Celebrate Easter this year with some bird nests bakes.

I know these aren’t for dessert. And I’m not sure what food item they’re supposed to be. But they sure look tasty.

19. It’s not Easter until you serve some coconut chicks.

I’m not a fan of coconut. However, I think these chicks are so irresistibly adorable.

20. If you like flowers, then serve them as sandwich cookies on sticks.

Well, these cookies are served in a pot of M&Ms. But you can’t help but adore them.

21. For a more healthy Easter treat, you can’t get wrong with colored strawberries.

These are decorated like colored eggs. And while they aren’t ovals, they might do.

22. For your kids, an Easter lunch like this won’t disappoint them.

This one includes, cheese shells as dirt, roast beef bunny, and green been grass. I’m sure a lot of kids would love this.

23. Nothing makes Easter worthwhile than an Easter basket dip on your veggie tray.

And it doesn’t hurt that it has a bread handle as well as served with lettuce and carrot bits. Pretty clever, I say.

24. This Easter morning, wake up to some bunny pancakes for breakfast.

Now that seems that a lot of pancakes went into making that bunny. Kind of think that’s a little overdoing it.

25. You heard of deviled eggs? Well, feast your eyes on jello eggs.

Yes, they kind of look like deviled eggs. But they’re made out of jello and are used for dessert.

26. For Easter Sunday morning, there’s no better breakfast than a cinnabun bunny.

Yes, they might not be very good for you. But at least these are distinguishable by serving. Unlike the bunny pancakes, on the other hand.

27. Nothing makes Easter better than these flower pretzel treats.

Compared to some of the other stuff on here so far, these seem rather easy to make. All you need are pretzel sticks, M&Ms, jellybeans, icing, and small wafers.

28. For all you holier than thou types, these empty tomb treats will give you much rejoicing.

Religious or not, you have to admire the use of chocolate donuts in this one. Also, it doesn’t seem hard to make either.

29. If you’re not a fan of bunnies, this lamb cake is for you.

This one is easier to make than the lamb cake I showed last year. Just decorate a regular cake with marshmallows and other attributes.

30. This Easter, impress your relatives with this fruit bunny.

Kind of makes it seem like this bunny is wearing goggles. But I understand those are eyes.

31. Nothing makes your Easter brighter than cupcakes forming a flower.

And I’m sure it took a lot of cupcakes to make something like this. The center ones have blackberries on top.

32. For your Easter dessert platter, chick cups will make a suitable addition.

I think these are made like peanut butter cups but with chicks instead. Still, thee are so cute.

33. I guess this gives a whole new meaning to the term, “carrot cake.”

After all, this cake seems like it’s surrounded by carrots. Not sure about the filling though.

34. For those who like sheep, you can’t go wrong with these cupcakes.

These cupcakes are decorated with marshmallows to resemble wool. Nevertheless, these remind me of the sheep from Wallace and Gromit for some reason. Must be the heads.

35. If you think Reese’s Easter egg candies look too much like turds, these peanut butter chocolate eggs might be a great alternative.

At least you can decorate these with sprinkles. And that’s sometimes better than whatever Reese’s releases during the holidays.

36. It’s not Easter until you feast your eyes on an Easter basket cake like this.

Yes, this is another Easter basket cake. But it’s different from the other one. Like 2-dimensional.

37. Who says you can’t have bunnies or flowers on one cake?

I know this was almost certainly professionally made. But still, who can ever resist this cute and flowery bunny face?

38. If you like carrots, then this veggie tray arrangement is for you.

Consists of sliced carrots and broccoli. Yet, will go great with the cauliflower bunny.

39. This Easter, treat your kids to some healthy snacks such as this chick in the nest.

I think the chick is made from a slice of pineapple. And the nest is of pretzel sticks and Kix. Still, so cute.

40. When it comes to Rice Krispie treats, these bunnies are hard to resist.

I’m sure the ears aren’t edible. But I did a lot of Rice Krispie eggs last year. So I think I should do bunnies this time.

41. You can’t celebrate Easter without including these bunny cake pops.

Sure the ears may be made from inedible sugar wax. But you have to admit, these are adorable.

42. I’m sure you wouldn’t find an Easter lunch like this on the bunny trail.

Consists of bunnies made of sandwiches and cheese. But above all, it’s guaranteed to melt your heart.

43. Celebrate Easter on your dessert platter with these marshmallow bunny pops.

Unlike the bunny peeps, you can eat these. Still, so cute if you ask me.

44. For an Easter snack, these chick cheese and crackers are hard to resist.

Sure they may be of different cheeses. But they’ll surely melt in your heart as well as your mouth.

45. Start your Easter Sunday brunch with an egg salad chick sandwich.

I know that chicks come from chicken eggs. Fertilized or not, I'm not sure of what to make out of this.

I know that chicks come from chicken eggs. Fertilized or not, I’m not sure of what to make of of this.

46. For an Easter lunch or dinner, you can’t go wrong with a bunny burger.

Bunny is of a burger that has cheese attributes. Comes with a carrot and cheesy rice.

47. For an easy Easter cupcake design, try bird nests.

They require coconut and Peanut M&Ms. Seems rather simple enough.

48. For a more unconventional Easter treat, these bunny butt silhouettes are just for you.

These are made from marshmallows or possibly Oreos. But they’re adorable nonetheless.

49. This Easter, it won’t hurt if you take a slice of some carrot cheese cake.

Now I know that carrot cake contains carrots. Not sure about carrot cheese cake though. Probably not.

50. For celebrating Christ’s resurrection, these cupcakes are just the treat.

I’m not sure if these cupcakes are appropriate for celebrating Easter, for obvious reasons. But they seem rather simple to make if you get my drift.

51. When it comes to Easter desserts, Easter basket cookie cups will do quite nicely.

Decorations include jellybeans, licorice, and coconut. Still, quite clever if you ask me.

52. For an Easter dessert platter, there’s nothing better than a bird’s nest torte.

Yes, it’s a bird’s nest cake. But it looks nothing like the one I put on last year’s post. And it seems almost real.

53. Those who love flowers will adore a cake like this.

Of course, this might more of a spring cake than an Easter one. Still, since Easter is tied to spring, it goes on this post.

54. When it comes to treating your little bunnies, these stuffed carrot cupcakes will sure do the trick.

The carrots are actually strawberries. But I’m sure any little bunny will find these delightful.

55. Spring into Easter with this one-of-a-kind birdhouse cake.

Never seen a cake like that before. Then again, it wouldn’t be standing like that in real life either.

56. Before I get to mutton it, you do better on Easter than these cake pop sheep.

Yes, they may appear a bit puffy than normal sheep. But they’re adorable nonetheless.

57. It seems that at least one chick has hatched on these cupcakes.

Yes, these are bird nest cupcakes. But they’re in a different style. Also, they’re chocolate. And I love chocolate.

58. You can make your own dessert platter garden with flower cookies.

Includes a watering can and umbrella. Still, they have to be on sticks and on Easter grass.

59. For a simple treat, you can’t simply do better than these carrot pretzel sticks.

Just dip these sticks in green and orange icing. It’s as easy as that. Trust me.

60. On Easter, some bunnies become cakes while others are on top of one.

Yes, this is professionally made since it has all kinds of details. But still, you can’t help but love the bunny on top.

61. Those who enjoy greens will certainly adore some bunny salad.

These just have the ears show from the top. But But it’s as clever as it is nutritious for Easter fare.

62. Easter egg cake balls always make a wholesome treat.

Yes, I’ve might’ve posted these before. But they were probably made rather differently. Sure look tasty though.

63. No peeps party is complete without cupcakes like these.

Yes, these are peep cupcakes. However, unlike their sugary marshmallow counterparts, they’re edible. Seriously, sugary marshmallow peeps are disgusting.

64. On Easter, a bunny cream puff is sure to make you smile.

They may not be very good for you. And they’re sugary ears may be disgusting. But I think you’ll find these irresistibly creamy and cute.

65. Looks like the Easter Bunny got stuck in a rabbit hole.

Wonder what he’s doing in there. Or is he stuck. The world may never know.

66. If your family is serving lamb this Easter, then sheep bread is sure to make a fine addition to your table.

My family usually serves ham. But this certainly takes up a lot of bread. Yet, I think it’s tasty.

67. For your Easter lunch or dinner, there’s nothing more perfect than an Easter egg pizza.

I might’ve shown a veggie and fruit pizzas last year. But this one is a real Easter egg pizza even if it mostly consists of veggies.

68. For an Easter snack, these bunny pretzels are sure to keep you hopping for more.

Guess the bunny shapes are easier to make than some others. Still, these are adorable if you ask me. Yet, makes me wonder why Snyder’s of Hanover doesn’t make these.

69. It’s not Easter until you get a taste of these Easter egg cupcakes.

Because I had to put them on an Easter treat post as soon as I found them. Yet, decorate them however you like.

70. As we all know, a spring time pie can always do with a few flowers.

Yes, these are flowers on a pie. And I’m sure the pie filled with fruit and for dessert. Not sure what’s in it though.

71. Bring a flowery touch this Easter with this floral veggie platter.

Haven’t seen a platter like this before. Still, you have to admire the cucumber sliced petals as well as the celery stalk.

72. This Easter, it won’t hurt to munch on this bunny rice cake.

Not sure where you can get rice cakes. However, you have to think this rabbit is so adorable to say the least.

73. Nothing says Easter like coconut chick cake balls.

I did bunny balls last year. Like I said, not a fan of coconut. But I’m sure some kids will like them.

74. For your neighborhood police bunny, take a bite out of these donuts.

These mostly consist of chicks and bunnies. And are made with some peep attributes. But they’re cute.

75. This Easter treat yourself to some carrot cake.

Yes, it’s a real carrot cake. And it’s even shaped like a carrot, too. What else can you ask for?

76. Please your guests this Easter with some devil egg baskets.

Yes, it’s a deviled egg Easter basket. Not sure what those egg things are supposed to be though.

77. For a more nutritious Easter for the kids, you can’t go wrong with cauliflower sheep.

For some reason, these, too, remind me of the sheep from Wallace and Gromit. Not sure why. Still, they seem to have character.

78. This Easter, impress your guests and relatives with a veggie flower bouquet.

Now this is an edible arrangement I can totally get behind. And the best part is, you can put these in dip.

79. It’s not Easter until you feast your eyes on this butterfly cake.

And this cake is courtesy of Betty Crocker. Love the wings on this.

80. When it comes to Easter cakes, you can never have too many flowers.

Now this might pass as a general spring cake if it weren’t for the Easter eggs. Nevertheless, it’s very lovely.

Erin Go Bragh with These Lucky Treats on Saint Patrick’s Day (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on February 16, 2016

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Now that Valentine’s Day is over we move on from hearts, love, red, Cupid, and pink to green, booze, rainbows, leprechauns, pots of gold, shamrocks, and all things Irish. In some places like Ireland, Saint Patrick’s Day is seen as a religious holiday since it’s the feast of the nation’s patron saint who brought Christianity to the country. Yet, for many, it’s also an excuse for people to watch their local parades and get sloshed, which has the tendency to insult many Irish. Nevertheless, many Irish Americans don’t seem to mind and they tend to outnumber the Irish in Ireland. Still, whether for better or worse, Saint Patrick’s Day is celebrated all over the world. Last year, I did a post on treats pertaining to the holiday which received a great reception. And because I found so many treats on Pinterest, I couldn’t refuse. After all, I’m an Irish Catholic in Pennsylvania so I have to honor that heritage.So for your reading pleasure, here are some more lucky treats for this Saint Patrick’s Day.

Dip some sugar cookies in some rainbow cheescake dip.

As I call it, the signature seven layer dip for Saint Paddy’s Day. However, unlike the game day counterpart, all layers have the same stuff but in different colors.

2. For your Saint Patrick’s Day party, you can’t have a better place for your spinach dip than a shamrock bread bowl.

Now that’s a really big bread bowl. But at least it’s rather fitting for the occasion. And you can take a piece of it, too.

3. This Saint Patrick’s Day, serve your guests some lucky lime salad bars.

Guess these are the kind of Saint Patrick’s Day salad bars they served in the 1950s. You know, the time when people used salad and mayonnaise on everything according to magazines.

4. Your kids would consider themselves lucky eating these shamrock Rice Kristpie treats.

You can even decorate these with Easter M&M’s. And I think they might be available since Easter tends to be a bigger holiday. Believe me, I know.

5. This Saint Patrick’s Day, celebrate with some four leaf clover quiche.

Looks pretty small as far as I can see. Includes spinach which goes without saying. Still, very appropriate for March 17.

6. Treat your kids this Saint Patrick’s Day to some leprechaun marshmallow pops.

Sure it’s probably filled with sugary sweetness. But you have to admit that this is quite cute if you ask me.

7. Of course, you can never go too fancy with shamrock cookies.

As we can see by the patterns, they’re definitely professionally made and not cheap. Still, love the patterns.

8. For pots of gold, Oreos can really come in handy.

Yes, these are cupcakes. But the Oreos are dipped in chocolate icing and decorated with gold sprinkles. Seems doable.

9. For Saint Patrick’s Day, green bread is always the best bread.

Don’t worry, I think it’s pistachio bread. Still, best served with a breakfast of green eggs and ham. Well, as long as such stuff has green food coloring and doesn’t cause trichinosis.

10. If you like pasta, then you’ll love some rainbow spaghetti.

I’m sure the pot of gold is supposed to consist of cheese and bacon. Yet, I like how the spaghetti is in all different colors.

11. Grace your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter with this shamrock pie.

I think this might be an apple pie but I’m not sure. Nevertheless, I did post a picture of a shamrock pie before, but not one like this.

12. Who says that you can’t have shamrocks or rainbows?

Yes, these cookies have shamrocks and rainbows. And they have 2 sugar cookie layers to boot.

13. As luck would have it, these shamrock fudge squares are guaranteed to be irresistible.

All these consist of fudge squares and green icing shamrocks. If you can make fudge, you can make this.

14. Grace your dinner table this Saint Patrick’s Day with some shamrock braided bread.

To make bread dough is easy. To braid it and make it into a 4 leaf shamrock doesn’t. Or at least as I see it.

15. If you want some meat in your clover bread, these shamrock sausage rolls will sure please.

Sure they may look like shamrock buns. But these have sausage in them. At least that’s what they’re supposed to have.

16. For your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert, you can’t go wrong with some shamrock trifle.

Well, it has minty pudding and chocolate Oreo layers. And it’s topped with sugary shamrocks. Looks pretty.

17. This Saint Patrick’s Day lunch is bound to make your kids feel lucky.

Seems like this one consists of skewered grapes, a marshmallow peep, rainbow fruit rollup, chocolate coins, and a shamrock sandwich. And yes, it’s mostly green.

18. For Saint Patrick’s Day, a bunch of cupcakes can make a rainbow.

Yes, this is one of those tearaway cupcake cakes. It’s said to be “end of the rainbow” but I don’t see a pot of gold within sight. Just clouds.

19. This Saint Patrick’s Day, start off with a shamrock omelette.

As you can see, green bell peppers make great 4 leaf clovers. Still, it means you might have to chop them from the top instead of the side though.

20. You can’t celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day without a marshmallow cake like this.

Yes, this cake is all covered in marshmallows. And yes, some of them are unedible since they’re covered in sugar. But it still looks so cute.

21. Treat yourself this Saint Patrick’s Day to some shamrock brownie sandwiches.

It’s said to contain chocolate in mint. Nevertheless, they sure look tasty if you take it from me.

22. For a lucky Saint Patrick’s Day, you can’t go wrong with rainbow cookies.

You have two choices: clouds or no clouds. Either way, they sure look pretty. Wouldn’t mind one or the other.

23. Wouldn’t you want a hidden pot of gold in your brownie cup?

You put the gold sprinkles in the brownie before topping it with green icing and a shamrock. Not sure where you get the gold sprinkles to begin with though.

24. For Saint Patrick’s Day dessert, nothing beats green velvet rainbow cupcakes.

I might’ve shown these before last year. However, these aren’t covered in chocolate. But yes, they sure do have a lot of icing.

25. If you have sliced cucumbers, why don’t you arrange them like a shamrock?

Yes, this is a 4 leaf clover with cucumber slices. Not sure if you use a pot of gold cheese dip or dressing. But I think it’s clever.

26. For your Saint Patrick’s Day dinner, you can’t go wrong with some pot of gold salad.

Seems to consist of cauliflower, bell peppers in 4 different colors, and guacamole. Still, it looks so cute.

27. For your Saint Patrickt’s Day snack, munch on some of these shamrock crisps.

These are shamrock crackers with green leaves sprinkled all over them. Sure they have 3 leaves but they must be tasty.

28. Got a bunch of empty baby food jars? Make some rainbow jar mini cakes with them.

I’m sure parents with small children could make these. But I think these are adorable and that kids would love them.

29. Wake up this Saint Patrick’s top of the morning with a sticky bun shamrock.

They might not be the best thing for you heart or pancreas wise. But I do like the idea of putting cinnamon rolls together to make a shamrock.

30. Nothing makes Saint Patrick’s Day worthwhile than a loaf of rainbow bread.

However, if you should have a slice, make sure you ask the maker whether it contains brown acid or marijuana. Sure I might be stereotyping but you never know.

31. Any lucky kid is bound to eat this Saint Patrick’s Day lunch up.

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These consist of a shamrock sandwich and cucumber slices as well as other delights. Said to be great for a kid’s school lunch.

32. You aren’t lucky on Saint Patrick’s Day until you have one of these leprechaun cupcakes.

These tend to resemble the witch cupcakes I have on one of my Halloween treat posts. Still, they’re adorable and I’m sure kids will love them.

33. Wake up this Saint Patrick’s Day morning to some shamrock waffles.

Well, this seems to have 5 heart waffles in green. Wonder whether they use green syrup for it. Probably.

34. Celebrate this Saint Patrick’s Day with healthier options such as these rainbow fruit kabobs.

These consist of strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, and blueberries. And it has some chocolate coins in the pot of gold.

35. It’s not a Saint Patrick’s Day party unless your party has a cake like this.

This one includes a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, a leprechaun hat, a keg, and a leprechaun. Still, certainly professionally made.

36. No kid is luckier on Saint Patrick’s Day than the one with the leprechaun in their lunch.

This consist of a leprechaun sandwich that resembles a ginger homeless guy and shamrock cheese. Still, it’s so cute.

37. This Saint Patrick’s Day, enjoy lunch with these cucumber shamrock sandwiches.

Wonder how they got bread shaped like this. Oh, wait, they made it. Still, like how they’re shaped into clovers.

38. Nothing makes a Saint Patrick’s Day breakfast than some shamrock eggs.

Well, they don’t necessarily look like shamrocks. Then again, you get the idea. Well, sort of.

39. Warm yourself up this Saint Patrick’s Day with a bowl of shamrock soup.

Sure it may look like a shamrock now. But once the spoon’s in it, it probably won’t be.

40. Have a top of the morning breakfast with some shamrock eggs.

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Comes with a rainbow of fruit. Still, The shamrock is atop the scrambled eggs and an English muffin.

41. You can’t get luckier this Saint Patrick’s Day unless you treat yourself to a rainbow milkshake.

Wonder how they keep the colors separated like that. Also, there’s a chance that it might contain brown acid or a plant that’s said to bring upon world peace.

42. Who says there’s a leprechaun in your sandwich?

Includes some banana clover and a pot of M&M’s. Sandwich is covered with a cucumber smile, carrot hair, and a cucumber hat. Still, so cute if you ask me.

43. You can’t have a Saint Patrick’s Day party without serving four leaf clover pizza.

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Mostly cheese and green basil as far as I see. Still, I think it’s rather clever. And looks quite tasty.

44. Nothing makes Saint Patrick’s Day worthwhile than a cake of a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

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Well, it has a pot of gold on the bottom, a rainbow in the middle, and a leprechaun hat on top. Nevertheless, most likely professionally made.

45. For a more fruity Saint Patrick’s Day look no further than this leprechaun.

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This one has an apple hat and face. But it also has a ginger orange beard. Nevertheless, a rather adorable fruity bit, can’t you say?

46. For a lucky lunch, this shamrock bento can’t be beat.

This includes rainbow fruit kabobs, shamrock noodles, pot of gold and shamrock chocolates, and a shamrock sandwich. Nevertheless, I’m sure some kid would love it.

47. If you love Saint Patrick’s Day and Care Bears, this cake is for you.

Not sure if there’s a Care Bear named Lucky that has a 4 leaf clover on its chest. Still, this one has a shamrock and rainbow so it fits.

48. You can’t have a better addition to your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter than chocolate chip rainbow cookies.

Yes, these are chocolate chip cookies that just happen to be the colors of the rainbow. And it’s just the magic of food coloring.

49. For those with a sweet tooth, you can’t do much better than rainbow candy kabobs.

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Man, I didn’t know that they had so many colors of licorice. Still, you have to love the caramel candies for the gold and the marshmallows for the clouds.

50. Get lucky this Saint Patrick’s Day with these pot of gold cake pops.

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The green pot may be made out of cake. But the gold coins are made from colored sugar. Yes, color sugar, you heard me.

51. For Saint Patrick’s Day desserts, you can’t beat lucky whoopie pies.

Well, that’s what they call them. But these have Lucky Charm marshmallows in green filling. So they must be magically delicious.

52. Happy Saint Patrick’s Day, courtesy of Eat n’ Park.

It’s a local restaurant chain in my area, don’t ask. Still, when I see these smiley face cookies, I can sense where it came from. Yes, Eat n’ Park’s the place for smiles.

53. This bento lunch is guaranteed to give you the luck of the Irish.

Not sure why I put so many bento lunches on here. Must be because I seemed to save so many but didn’t get the chance to put them on last year’s Saint Patrick’s Day treat post.

54. This Saint Patrick’s Day, it doesn’t hurt to go green at the top of the morning.

This consists of green eggs and pancakes. Better be food coloring on those eggs because if not, they might give you salmonella.

55. With shamrock cookies like these, how much lucky can you get?

I’m sure these are professionally made. Nevertheless, I really like these shamrocks.

56. Whether you want a rainbow vegetable, fruit, or rice, this bento has it all.

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I’m sure some of these use food coloring ofr nature doesn’t always conforms to the rainbow. This is especially with the rice.

57. For some traditional Irish fare, help yourself to some potato soup.

Did I say that it’s in a bread bowl? And that the lid has a shamrock cut out of it?

58. When it comes to Saint Patrick’s Day dinner, you can’t think of a better side than shamrock buns.

Are these shamrock buns? Or are these heart buns made to look like shamrocks? The world may never know.

59. Celebrate this Saint Patrick’s Day with some rainbow wrapped marshmallows.

These are supposed to be rainbows in the clouds. And yes, the marshmallows are wrapped with rainbow fruit roll ups.

60. If you love chocolate dipped cookies, then you’re in luck with these shamrocks.

These seem so tasty. And the best part is, these shamrocks are covered in chocolate.

61. If you’re in the mood for Mexican, try some shamrock quesadillas.

Yes, these are shamrock tortillas as you can see. Still, wonder if it tastes delicious.

62. This Saint Patrick’s Day, say “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” with cupcakes.

For some reason, these are more suited for Valentine’s Day than Saint Patrick’s Day. Then again, they’re green.

63. These Saint Patrick’s Day cookies come in shades of green.

These are bar cookies in a few shades of green. Just right for Saint Patrick’s Day.

64. These Saint Patrick’s Day cupcakes are said to be as cute as a button.

Because these shamrocks have buttons for leaves. Still, they are as cute as a button as the name says.

65. This Saint Patrick’s Day, take a slice of shamrock cheese cake.

I think this came from Martha Stewart. Still, I found it on Pinterest.

66. Those who like big things in small packages might enjoy these pot of gold mini cakes.

And they have rainbows on them, too. Yet, these are so adorable.

67. When it comes to Saint Patrick’s Day, you can’t do better than a shamrock chicken and pesto pizza.

Not sure what it tastes like. But I hope it’s delicious because it sure looks like it.

68. Treat yourself this Saint Patrick’s Day to some shamrock cheddar biscuits.

The shamrocks are represented by parsley. Brought to you by Kraft and they look so tasty.

69. If you like frozen lucky treats, this ice cream shamrock sandwich can’t be beat.

I see that it uses chocolate chip mint ice cream for the filling. I like that ice cream flavor.

70. For Saint Patrick’s Day, your kids will feel lucky with these smiling shamrock shakes.

Yes, these are so adorable to make you melt. And the best part is you can eat the cups.

71. These Saint Patrick’s Day rainbow cupcakes are both so in icing and filling.

Unfortunately, these only come in 5 colors. So disappointed there’s no purple one. It’s a travesty.

72. This Saint Patrick’s Day, serve cucumber slices with parsley shamrocks and green hummus.

Well, at least these are somewhat healthy. Which says a lot compared to the other stuff on this post.

73. Celebrate this Saint Patrick’s Day with this one-of-a-kind rainbow ruffle cake.

I think this might be primarily a birthday cake. Yet, since Saint Patrick’s Day has rainbows, this counts.

74. Make your Saint Patrick’s Day worthwhile with these rainbow cake push pops.

And it seems like the colors are in different configurations. Still, I’m sure the kids will love these.

75. Grace your Saint Patrick’s Day dessert platter with these shamrock short cookies.

Yes, they resemble a leprechaun’s boxers. But still, you have to appreciate the creativity.

76. This Saint Patrick’s Day, snack on some sweet shamrock soft pretzels.

Yes, these are shamrock soft pretzels. Yes, they look like buns but they’re not. And they’re covered in green sugar.

77. When it comes to Saint Patrick’s Day, you can’t get luckier with these cookies on a stick.

I know these are Saint Patrick’s Day cookies since they consist of shamrocks and rainbows. And other circle shapes. I guess the yellow ones are supposed to be coins.

78. It’s not Saint Patrick’s Day until you serve some Lucky Charms cupcakes.

Called thus because they have green filling and have Lucky Charms marshmallows on top. Said to be magically delicious.

79. For luck this Saint Patrick’s Day, feast your eyes on a cake like this.

This cake is covered in shamrocks with 2 horseshoes on top. Certainly professionally made and not cheap.

80. Now this is the kind of Saint Patrick’s Day lunch for over the rainbow.

This rainbow consists of cherry tomatoes, carrots, corn, and peas on rice. Lunch also consists of ham rolls and a cupcake.

Be Mine with These Valentine’s Day Treats (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 18, 2016

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As you may have guessed, Valentine’s Day isn’t one of my favorite holidays, and I’m doing such posts early this year so I can get the holiday over with. Last year, I did a post on Valentine’s Day treats and it received a rather warm reception. So I decided to do another one for all my fans out there. As we all know, Valentine’s Day is a highly celebrated holiday. And it’s no surprise that many people tend to hold Valentine’s Day parties which aren’t as extravagant as the ones they have on Christmas. But there are plenty of treats people post on Pinterest associated with the holiday which leaves me with a lot to work with. Not to mention, the fact most schoolchildren are usually obligated to bring valentines and treats to school as well. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you a treasure trove of some more Valentine’s Day treats.

For starters, we begin with the chocolate hearts on sticks.

Wonder whether these are made with cake or marshmallow filling. Probably marshmallow, I guess. But they look so cute.

2. These animal cookies are bound to melt your heart.

Now these consist of a butterfly, a ladybug, an owl, a bird, a dog, and a penguin. But they’re all so adorable in their own special way.

3. For your Valentine’s Day party, you can’t go wrong with XO salad.

Yes, the X’s and O’s are made from cheese. Bit it includes some cucumber hearts as well.

4. Nothing brings the spirit of Valentine’s Day than some red heart gobs.

Yes, these are little heart cupcake sandwiches. Not sure how big they are. For all I know they could be rather bite size.

5. How about some heart churos with your coffeee?

These are churos made into hearts. And yes, a few of them fit wonderfully on a saucer like this one.

6. With heart shaped marshmallows and candy, you can make your own Valentine’s sundae.

Yet, between the two of these, I’ll take the one with the M&M’s. Those heart candies tastes like sugary chalk dust.

7. Grace your Valentine’s Day cupcakes with red icing, hearts, and roses.

Now these seem like classic Valentine’s Day cupcakes. I’m sure they were made in a bakery though. Nevertheless, they’ll surely do.

8. These Rice Krispie treats contain chocolate hearts for your Valentine’s Day delight.

I don’t know about you but I think these look delicious. And they have chocolate, too.

9. These heart shaped potatoes will go well with any Valentine’s Day dinner.

Sure to go with any heart shaped steak or meat as you desire. Think it’s a rather clever idea though.

10. With heart cookies like these, you can make a wreath.

Yes, that is a heart cookie wreath. Yes, I think this was professionally made. Nevertheless, I think it’s great and you should, too.

11. Feast your eyes on this envelope tart.

It’s like a tart with an envelope crust and fruity filling inside. This one is totally well suited for Valentine’s Day as you see.

12. These marshmallow robots on a stick are only filled with love.

I’m sure these aren’t edible since they’re of the same composition as marshmallow peeps. However, you can’t doubt their cuteness by any stretch of the imagination.

13. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with some tarts by the Queen of Hearts.

well, they may not be made by the Queen of hearts (because she doesn’t exist). But these do have hearts and they are cute.

14. You can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day without some valentine chicken pot pie.

Then again, it might be quiche. However, you have to admire the hearts on the crust. That’s quite creative.

15. Be kind to your heart this Valentine’s Day with some heart salad.

Yes, it’s a salad with hearts. And yes, those hearts are made from cheese and bacon bits. And so is the lettuce.

16. Grace your Valentine’s Day dessert platter with cheesecake with hearts.

This cheesecake has hearts all over it in a spiral. Sure it’s professionally made but it looks so pretty.

17. For healthy Valentine’s Day snack, you can’t go wrong with these fruity ladybugs.

Wonder how they get the berries into the strawberry. Nevertheless, these fruity bugs are so adorable.

18. Wake up in the morning to some Valentine’s Day crepes.

I guess “crepes” are fancy looking pancakes from how I see it. Can’t really do a design like that because I’d sure mess up somewhere.

19. For frozen treats, these Valentine’s Day ice cream sandwiches will do the trick.

Seems like you put some strawberry ice cream between 2 chocolate cookies. Then decorate with icing hearts however you like.

20. Nothing makes a better centerpiece for your Valentine’s Day dessert platter than this “My Heart Pounds for You” cake.

It’s basically a pound cake with strawberries in it and shaped like a hot. And this one consists of chocolate and vanilla.

21. If hearts aren’t your thing, you can always go with kiss lips.

These are “Big Kiss Cake Pops.” Yes they tend to look like plastic lips on a stick. But they’re not.

22. These heart sticks are great with a cup of hot chocolate.

It’s a cookie stick with some chocolate icing and mini marshmallows. Wonder if it tastes like a smore. Probably not.

23. For Valentine’s Day dinner, heart ravioli is a lovely treat.

And it seems like these ravioli can go with anything like shrimp. Nevertheless, it’s rather likely these are filled with cheese.

24. Wake up this Valentine’s Day morning to some heart shaped donuts.

Of course, if you eat enough of these, they’re not bound to do your heart much good. Still, you have to love these.

25. For Valentine’s Day dinner, you can’t do better for a vegetable than with some heart shaped carrots.

I guess these carrot hearts were made for kids and to go with peas. Nevertheless, they’re adorable.

26. Make your Valentine’s Day party a success with some kiss lips fruit salad.

As you see, the kiss lips, XO, and hearts are all made from watermelon. Nevertheless, it seems like a rather ingenious idea conducted by someone with too much time on their hands.

27. Then again, a fruit salad with hearts is just as nice.

Seems like this salad has more hearts than the last one. And they don’t just consist of watermelon either.

28. You can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day without a pie covered in hearts.

Guess this is a strawberry pie as I can tell. Nevertheless, its crust is all covered in hearts like I said.

29. Your valentine is bound to enjoy these envelope sugar cookies.

And they fit in a shiny red mailbox as far as I can see. Nevertheless, they’re quite cute.

30. Nothing makes Valentine’s Day sweeter than a cake covered in heart shaped candies.

Of course, you might want to take the candies off as you eat it. Those things taste like chalk dust and flavored sugar. It’s disgusting.

31. Nothing makes a better addition to your Valentine’s Day party platter than some pink deviled eggs with hearts.

Guess these hearts are made from beets from how I see it. Not sure what to think about the pink, though.

32. Heart cookies are always cuter when they’re ladybugs.

I’m sure kids are bound to love these. Not sure why they use ladybugs for Valentine’s Day. But these are adorable.

33. You’ll find a red heart when you take a slice of this cake.

Yes, this Valentine’s cake has a heart inside. Not sure how they do this. Still, I like that it’s chocolate.

34. When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you can’t resist these Hershey Kiss sugar cookies.

Consist of red, pink, and silver. May not be chocolate. But they sure look good to me.

35. You can’t have a Valentine’s Day party without rainbow jello hearts.

However, before your kids eat them, ask the host whether they contain alcohol. Remember just because it’s jello, doesn’t mean it’s for kids.

36. For healthier options, you might want to go with these heart fruit kabobs.

Consists of strawberries and grapes. And it seems that the strawberries are shaped like hearts, too.

37. This Valentine’s Day, your heart will melt for these X and O smores.

Seems like they consist of chocolate covered cookies with marshmallows sandwiched between them. Sure look good though.

38. You can’t go wrong this Valentine’s Day with these heart biscuits.

I know biscuits aren’t the best things for you. But they sure taste so good that they’re irresistible.

39. Those in the Tex-Mex mood will surely enjoy these heart empanadas.

Guess an empanada is a Mexican calzone of some sort. But these certainly look delicious.

40. You can’t go wrong on Valentine’s Day without these marshmallow candy hearts.

Sure taste better than the real thing. Because almost anything tastes better than sugar, chalk dust, and artificial flavors. And that’s a fact.

41. Warm up this Valentine’s Day with some tomato soup and grilled cheese heart sandwiches.

By the way, you dip your sandwich in the soup if I’m not mistaken. Hope you get my drift.

42. These cocktail cupcakes will sure make a fine addition on any Valentine’s Day party dessert platter.

Seems like these cupcakes are made in cocktail glasses. Wonder if they’re oven resistant. Must be but you’ll never know.

43. Delight your guests this Valentine’s Day with these stained glass heart cookies.

These seem to come in several different colors and flavors. Still, wonder how you get the jello in the heart because I’m stumped of how that works.

44. Your Valentine’s Day party will liven up with these sugar cookie candy hearts.

And I guarantee you that they’ll be much better than anything made from sweetened chalk dust with artificial flavoring. Seriously, real candy hearts are disgusting.

45. On Valentine’s Day, you can’t go wrong with these smore cookies.

These consists of chocolate covered graham crackers with heart marshmallows on top. Perfect for any winter day.

46. You can’t have Valentine’s Day without these heart patty candies.

Not sure what they’re made of. But according to Pinterest, they’re said to be edible because there’s a recipe listed.

47. Nothing brings the spirit of Valentine’s Day than a chocolate lover’s cheesecake.

They have hearts on top in a regular and white chocolate swirl. Of course, I’m sure they’re incredibly delicious.

48. These heart pretzels make the ideal Valentine’s Day snack.

Yes, these pretzels aren’t all uniform. But I’m sure somebody would find them quite tasty.

49. All these Valentine’s Day cookies fit well in a cute red little box.

Mostly consists of letters and hearts. Still, you have to love these, especially since they’re chocolate.

50. You can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day without a cake with 3 hearts in it.

The hearts are supposed to be made of raspberry buttercream icing, according to Pinterest. Still, the chocolate makes it look delicious.

51. It’s not Valentine’s Day until you have an X and O brownie dish on your dessert platter.

Available in chocolate and vanilla filling. Nevertheless, they sure look tasty that’s for sure.

52. It’s not Valentine’s Day until you feast your eyes on this salad.

Seems to consist of tomatoes in a heart shape with some marshmallows in the center. Quite ingenious if you get my drift.

53. Grace your dessert platter this Valentine’s Day with this pink rose topped cake.

This looks like a lovely cake. Guess it’s professionally made or created by someone with too much time on their hands. But it sure looks pretty.

54. Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day to some heart shaped potato skins.

Contains cheese and bacon as well as some spices. You can even dip them in some dip of sour cream.

55. These Valentine’s Day candy kabobs are sure to be a real treat.

Not sure if I’d want to eat any of the candies on this stick. But I’m sure kids are going to love them. Yet, I do like the ribbons.

56. For Valentine’s Day dinner, you can’t go wrong with some heart beat salad.

It consists of hearts and they are made of beets. Get it? Still, seems to look great.

57. When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you will certainly fall in love with these cupcakes.

Really like this arrangement here. Like the hearts, especially the ones that spell “LOVE.”

58. Those who enjoy some Japanese fare will enjoy some heart shaped sushi.

None of them seem to be in the traditional Valentine’s Day colors like red, white, or pink. But they certainly do look wonderful if you ask me.

59. You can’t have Valentine’s Day without some red heart shaped bread.

I think this bread might be in the dough stage and made by a professional. Nevertheless, it sure looks lovely, and possibly tasty when it’s break.

60. All that don this cake are hearts and roses.

Not sure if those roses are edible. But they sure look pretty. Also love the chocolate icing.

61. If you want to keep your heart healthy this Valentine’s Day, you can’t go wrong with this hearty salad.

Consists of hearts of tomatoes, cucumbers, and cheese. Nevertheless, whoever made this must’ve had too much time on their hands as far as I’m concerned.

62. These heart pretzels will make a tasty Valentine’s Day treat.

Consists of pretzels, candy hearts, and nutella. Nevertheless, they’re probably the easiest treats on this post so far.

63. It’s not Valentine’s Day until you feast your eyes on these chocolate covered Valentine’s Day Oreos.

Yes, these are Oreos with hearts on them. Still, other than the design, they seem rather easy to make.

64. This heart shaped cookie cake is a perfect edition to your Valentine’s Day party dessert platter.

Seems to consist of a chocolate chip cookie crust with a chocolate filling that’s sprinkled with candy hearts and chocolate chips. Sure looks delicious though.

65. You can’t have a great Valentine’s Day party without including some chocolate covered pretzels with hearts.

All it takes are candy hearts, pretzel sticks and chocolate. Nevertheless, it’s a rather doable snack.

66. Nothing says Valentine’s Day than a cake of a box of chocolates.

Now this is better than any box of chocolates (well, at least samplers). Seriously, if you receive a box, how many of those would you actually want to eat? My point.

67. For healthy options, you can’t go wrong with this rainbow fruit snack platter.

Seems that this tray has a different fruit for every color. Well, there are 2 representing green, but still. And the grapes are in the wrong place as well.

68. For Valentine’s Day, feast your eyes on some Salámové.

But to me, it’s a form of pizza. Nevertheless, this is the kind of food art that’s done by repressed art majors at grocery store delis.

69. Wake up this Valentine’s Day morning with some heart shaped French toast.

Now this resembles the kind of breakfast you’d see at some fancy restaurant or 5-star hotel. And each bit is topped with icing and strawberries.

70. Add some color in your life with these rainbow heart Rice Krispie treats.

Yes, they’re candy heart colored. But I assure you, they will taste much better. Seriously, sugary chalk dust is disgusting.

71. Would you like some heart marshmallows in your hot chocolate?

Well, this seems rather easy, until you realize you need a heart cutter that small. But it’s still cute.

72. These raspberry cookie sandwiches will be a Valentine’s Day delight.

Well, I see some of them also have strawberries as well. Nevertheless, it’s in a heart so it goes on this post.

73. For Valentine’s Day, have some strawberry cake in a jar.

Yes, it’s a cake in a jar. Don’t ask me how this was made. And it has a red heart on top.

74. I call this Valentine’s Day delight, “Death by Chocolate.”

It’s a cake smothered in every kind of chocolate you can think of. And it’s topped with white heart.

75. Nothing makes a better addition for your Valentine’s Day dessert platter than some flying heart cupcakes.

Wings seem to come in red, pink, and white. Not sure what they’re made of. But I think this is a clever idea.

76. Anyone who loves Valentine’s Day will love these Cupid cookies.

These use gingerbread man cookie cutters but they’re in red velvet. Nevertheless, they’re adorable.

77. Valentine’s popcorn makes a lovely snack.

However, before I’d eat this, I’d take out the candy hearts first. Flavored sugar chalk is disgusting to say the least.

78. You can’t have a great Valentine’s Day dinner without some heart salad.

Contains hearts among tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, and carrots. However, you might want to remove the toothpicks before you eat the tomatoes.

79. This plate of Valentine’s Day sushi contains pink hearts.

Wonder how they got the heart in this sushi. Perhaps it’s better not to dwell on it too much.

80. A cake like this is bound to have kisses all over it.

However, I assure you it’s perfectly safe to eat. Because I’m positive whoever made this used stamps for the imprints.

Make a Wish and Blow Out the Candles for These Birthday Party Cakes (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 13, 2016

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For my 26th birthday, I had thought about doing a blog post on bad vintage birthday cards. However, turns out that while finding terrible vintage holiday cards isn’t much of a challenge, this wasn’t the same with birthday cards. So realizing that such search would take forever, I decided to go with another cake post. After all, with the existence of Cake Wrecks, out there I have a lot to go with Besides, I had plenty left over from last year’s birthday cake post, which got a rather great reception. Now when you order a birthday cake, you always expect everything about it to be right. But sometimes this isn’t the case. In my last birthday cake post, I had a lot of cakes that range from age inappropriate, outright creepy, unintentionally dirty, decorated by people with no understanding of following directions, and others. So for your reading pleasure, here are a treasure trove of more disastrous birthday cakes. Some of these might not be safe for work, by the way.

Seems like this person’s loved ones aren’t giving warm wishes.

Let’s hope the recipient isn’t turning 5. Because that would be bad. Still, like the rainbow color on this, though.

2. When you have someone in your life turning 50, it’s great to give them some support.

However, this is not what I had in mind. So I suggest that you give Lori some padding, too? Seriously, why?

3. If your boy is into the Avengers, a cupcake cake of Thor’s hammer is sure to be right for the occasion.

Then again, maybe this family should’ve went with Iron Man. I think a cake of Thor’s hammer may not turn out like the parents intended.

4. A monkey cake is always great for a small child’s party. Can’t have anything go wrong with that.

Yes, I know monkeys can eat bananas. Yes, I know that they do gross things. However, this monkey cake shouldn’t have it holding a banana at its crotch.

5. Speaking of little kids, this Barney cake should be perfect for any preschooler’s birthday party.

Yes, this is a very inappropriate Barney cake which will make a little girl disappointed. However, I think this is great since it makes an annoying purple dinosaur into a pink Godzilla on a rampage. It’s wonderful.

6. Of course, we all know that someone’s 16th birthday is a milestone.

Yes, I know that being 16 makes it legal to drive. However, 16 is also the age of sexual consent in some states as well. So “legal” here can be rather non-specific, which is kind of creepy.

7. Make sure the balloons look appropriate when you buy a birthday cake for Dad.

Had no idea that balloon placement could make things seem more inappropriate than they should be. Still, wonder if the family has the balls to use this one.

8. When you can’t draw something, use a decal.

I’m sure this girl wouldn’t appreciate a Denver Broncos logo on her cake. This assuming that she lives outside Colorado.

9. For a kid at any age, a dog birthday cake is sure to lift people’s spirits.

Apparently, this dog cake seems like a clinically depressed aardvark for some reason. Not sure why. Is there such a thing as canine Prozac?

10. Sometimes there are so many ways to misspell a name.

I believe the boy’s name is supposed to be “Patrick” not “Parik-Shit.” Let’s hope this kid is too young to read so he won’t ask what “shit” means.

11. For young girls, you can’t go wrong with a Disney princess cake.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a little girl is going to go for a birthday cake depicting Belle with Botox injections. Seriously, this cake is utterly terrifying even though it shouldn’t be.

12. Yes, turning 50 can be a major stepping stone in someone’s life.

Great, this cake has a diseased foot on it which really disgusting. Makes me want to lose my appetite or puke. Not sure which.

13. For the rock guitarist in your life, a cake with an electric guitar is where it’s at.

This guitar seems rather phallic for some reason. Not sure if it’s supposed to be. Still, let’s hope this one isn’t used for a kid’s birthday party. And leave it at that.

14. Apparently, somebody really has it in for Beth.

I’m sure it’s supposed to be “Beth.” I don’t think the name includes a “c.” Still, let’s she doesn’t take it too personally.

15. Happy Birthday, Mary. Oh, wait, it’s Sean’s birthday. Not Mary’s.

Seems like somebody got their birthdays mixed up. Luckily, the decorators managed to correct it with some bright green icing. Hope it makes Sean happy.

16. A birthday cake of a smiley face flower will brighten anyone’s day.

But if it’s a one-eyed smiley face flower, it’s bound to give some little kids nightmares. Seriously, that’s incredibly freaky and disturbing.

17. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong with this monkey cake.

Uh, maybe getting a monkey cake for your kid’s first birthday probably isn’t a good idea. Seriously, that monkey looks rather terrifying if you ask me.

18. With this birthday cake, it’s Superman to the rescue.

Yes, I know that Superman is supposed to be all heroic as well as fly in to save people. However, I’m not sure if having a burning building on a birthday cake should emphasize that. Don’t ask me why someone thought this was a good idea.

19. Happy birthday, Don, and say goodbye to Dora the Explorer and all her friends.

I guess the hunter already shot Dora and her buddies are dragging her away. Yeah, you get such hunting accidents like these. But maybe this bunch shouldn’t have been in the woods at this time, too.

20. Excuse me, but can anyone tell me who Adam with Blue Flowers is?

Well, at least they got the blue flowers on the cake. Still, did they have to spell it out on the icing? Seriously, it’s kind of distracting.

21. Whoever this cake is for, let’s hope she doesn’t take it personally.

Is it supposed to be “Cali Girl?” Still, I wonder who’s receiving it understands what a “call girl” is. If she does, she’ll probably be pissed.

22. Happy Birthday, Cody, and take good care of your brains.

A brain on a cake? Now that’s gross. Makes you wonder if this guy is a fan of The Walking Dead. Then again, it’s implied that he’s seven.

23. Nothing makes a happy birthday than a cake with an ashtray full of cigarettes.

I don’t know about you, but I tend to see the sight of an ashtray as depressing as it is disgusting. As a cake, I see it no differently.

24. Seems like Jason is a real jerk and no one seems to make that a secret.

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Yes, just rub it in, I tell you. Wonder why Jason didn’t do anything for the other person’s birthday. Then again, he’s probably an ungrateful asshole to get a cake like this.

25. Guess this cake is for an old guy who’s not well-endowed.

Well, at least this cakes honest. But did they have to put it on a cake? Wonder if this birthday boy drives a Hummer or tries to compensate. Still, at least this one has some candy on it.

26. Relax, guys, it just so happens that his name is Dick and that he likes tools.

However, I can see why a cake like this might make some guys squirm. Yeah, the mention of “Dick” surrounded by tools could do that for them.

27. For young girls who like fairy tales, this frog prince cake will do nicely for their birthday.

Of course, writing on a cake isn’t the best way to ask for a spell check. Seriously, it’s going to a family later for some girl’s birthday. “Plese Prooffreed This Kake” should not be on there.

28. When it comes to birthday cakes, you can’t go wrong with a mustache, assuming it’s for a guy.

This mustache cake would be perfectly appropriate for a man’s birthday. However, this is for a 30-year-old woman named Annie. Let’s just say women don’t like being seen having mustaches.

29. Nothing makes a great birthday cake than one of gummy worm infested skeletons in the ground.

Because if you want to celebrate a 9-year-old’s birthday, then you have to find some way to remind them about their inevitable mortality. And how their bodies will eventually decay and be infested with bugs. Very disgusting to think about it.

30. Nothing says “happy birthday” than a cake reminding that you’re engaging in destructive health habits.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the term “alcoholic in training” is a compliment. That decal of a woman in athletic gear just seems to make it more absurd.

31. Seems like Tinkerbell messed with the wrong side of the Force.

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No, Tink, you don’t want to mess with Darth Vader. He’s not a nice guy and doesn’t tolerate mischief whatsoever. Also, that lightsaber will kill you if he swings it at you.

32. Sorry to annoy parents, but I had to post this Barney cake.

Hey, I didn’t say it was a cake of Barney doing anything nice. Rather this is him flipping the bird like he would in traffic. As the song says, “I fuck you, you fuck me, you’d be shocked of my attorney’s fee…”

33. For a little girl’s birthday, you can’t go wrong with a pony cake.

I don’t know about you but this pony looks as if it’s been impaled on the side and is now sinking in some swamp. Not a very happy sight. Poor thing.

34. This family tried to get a cake like an newspaper for their 80-year-old grandpa. Hope that went well.

I don’t think this is what they had in mind. But I’m sure they would have to do. Still, doesn’t seem like a great newspaper to me. The words are written along the columns.

35. For strong girls who love Disney, I suppose a Brave birthday cake would be appropriate.

And it seems that this cake depicts Princess Merida on clean up duty. Or are those turds supposed to be foliage. Still, someone better explain themselves because it seems that Merida has just stepped in some large pile of cow manure.

36. I suppose any boy would surely love having a Buzz Lightyear cake for their birthday.

Okay, that’s bound to give 3-year-olds nightmares. Buzz Lightyear wasn’t meant to haunt people’s dreams. But I think this decorator sees him differently for some reason.

37. Those who were preteens and teens in the last decade might remember Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana.

Seems to have looked a lot creepier than I remember. And they thought she’d went on the deep end when she did her performance at the VMAs or in that “Wrecking Ball” video.

38. Nothing makes a better birthday cake than one with lots of green icing on it.

This cake looks so messed up that I can barely read the words on it. Seriously, it looks as is someone puked green on it.

39. Nothing says “happy birthday” than a cake engulfed in flames.

Not sure if I think a cake in flames is appropriate for someone’s birthday. Still, even for flames, these are pretty lame.

40. Seems like who ordered this cake may not have high opinions of Dave and Steve.

Guess Dave on this cake might be a little light in the loafers. And for all I know, Uncle Steve might be on some sex offender list somewhere. Let’s hope they’re not in a relationship.

41. For a birthday cake, you can’t do better than with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Jack Daniels for a 25th birthday cake surprise

To be fair, this is for someone who is 25. Still, A bottle of Jack Daniels as a cake like that seems kind of depressing if you really think about it. Seems like Sam might need help.

42. Happy Birthday, Dick. I’m sorry, I mean Matt. We’re just screwing with you.

Too bad, already written down. Should’ve ordered a cake with someone who knows how to follow directions. Now that seems cruel.

43. When you turn 40, sometimes you feel that your life is going down the toilet.

Well, on the bright side, this doesn’t seem like a hard cake to make. Still, why they have to include the turds? That’s gross.

44. When you’re getting old, you might feel like you’re having a crisis.

Hope this person isn’t going through a midlife crisis. Or a health crisis. Still, not sure if you want that on a birthday cake.

45. Of course, a lot of girls would adore a Barbie birthday cake.

Well, Ryan can be a girl’s name. However, how many girls named Ryan do you know? Exactly. Still, I know a few guys named Ryan I went to school with though.

46. Nothing makes a little girl’s dream like a birthday cake of Princess Chewbacca.

Yes, this is Chewie in a dress. And yes, it’s like having the Beauty and the Beast in the same persona. Hey, laugh it up, fuzzball.

47. Nothing makes a better birthday cake for an 8-year-old than one of the Black Death.

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To be fair, this was made on purpose in light of a popular TV show in Britain. Still, Americans might not understand and think it’s gross. I hope one of professors doesn’t use a cake like that for his son’s birthday.

48. If you were around during the 2000s, you might remember the Jonas Brothers. Here’s a cake of them.

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49. When you want to have your birthday cake in a different language, maybe you shouldn’t order it retail.

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Whoever got this one should’ve ordered a blank cake and put the Chinese characters on it themselves. C’mon, what are the chances that a cake decorator in retail knows any Chinese?

50. Sometimes when you have two kids with birthdays and can only afford one cake, they might as well have to share.

Hope this cake doesn’t give any indication of how the Philadelphia Eagles were doing that season. I mean Eeyore isn’t the most sunny character from Winnie the Pooh. Still, must suck for siblings to share a cake. They should’ve went generic.

51. You can’t have a great birthday without a cake of a Chipoltle burrito.

Of course, right now you probably wouldn’t want a Chipoltle burrito cake for your birthday. Now that you think about it, with the E. Coli and Novovirus outbreaks, you don’t want to go anywhere near one.

52. Of course, clowns tend to be a popular birthday cake motif, especially for kids.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t think “clown massacre” is a great theme for a birthday cake. In fact, I don’t think it’s a great theme for any cake. This is horrifying.

53. A lot of 21st birthday cakes have drinking, this is the cake that expresses how some feel the day after.

Actually, waking up with a hangover isn’t any fun. So why have a cake depicting one, I have no idea. Still, least it’s better than having a cake of the movie.

54. When it comes to birthday cakes, you can’t go wrong with Harry Potter.

Seems like this Harry Potter cake has an acne outbreak and is totally emo teen mode. Also, where the hell is his lightning bolt scar on his forehead? Must be under the bangs.

55. When it comes to Barbie doll cakes, they’re always decked in pretty dress. Not sure about this one.

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Oh, my God, this Barbie has a beard. Guess this was originally for a girl and was made to look as manly as possible. Now it seems like some transvestite in a white frilly dress. Probably a lumberjack.

56. For the little boy who loves trains, a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake is just the ticket.

I don’t know about you. But it looks as if Thomas might be going off the rails. Is there any form of anger management at Shining Time Station? Because his rail rage might cause some accidents.

57. Happy 8th Birthday, Billy. Oh, wait, congratulations, Joe.

Seems like the decorator assumed that no one will notice. Please don’t mind the stuff they crossed out.

58. Of course, do you remember the time when Justin Bieber was popular? Still, there’s a birthday cake for him.

Never cared for Justin Bieber. Think he’s a scrawny twit if you ask me. Seriously, kill it. Kill it with fire.

59. Happy Birthday, Theresa. Here’s a cake you can surely sniff up to.

A coke hat cake? Seriously, that’s crazy. Oh, and it includes ecstasy. Okay, why does this cake even exist is my question. I mean why?

60. For her birthday, let no grass grow under her feet.

When they say, “Let no grass grow under her feet,” it’s usually not a compliment. Also, this cake is filled with some grammatical errors as well.

61. Now this Thomas the Tank Engine carnival birthday cake is great for any kid’s party.

Uh, did anyone get the memo that Peter has a nut allergy? I don’t think that’s something you put on cake. Not sure if this resulted in Peter breaking in hives.

62. For someone’s birthday, a bumblebee cake is always nice.

However, a cake with a bumblebee being pursued by a flamethrower, not so much. Seriously, why does this even exist? Why?

63. Happy Birthday to Heather and Susan, but more emphasis on Susan.

Yeah, I think this cake decorator has no idea how to follow directions. Also, I think this birthday cake is bound to make Heather feel disappointed.

64. Happy birthday and sorry about the soap.

Yeah, I think the soap is a bad idea. Still, let’s not hope it’s in the cake. That would be bad. Really bad.

65. Happy birthday, Dave, and remember to get a colonoscopy.

Then again, that’s a cigar burning on his butt. Which begs the question, why the hell does this cake even exist? Seriously, why?

66. Those who love Ghostbusters will adore this birthday cake.

Well, at least they’re honest. Still, that message, “you’re not special” gotta hurt. You really don’t want that on your birthday cake.

67. Celebrate your birthday with a cake of Lil’ Wayne.

Okay, I know the guy’s a rapper. But this one makes him seem like he’s a straight up horror movie villain. And the licorice dreads don’t help at all.

68. Nothing makes a better first birthday cake than one from Family Guy?

I know this was probably the parents’ idea. But still, Family Guy is a show for adults with adult jokes. A monkey cake would make more sense.

69. When it comes to little girl birthday cakes, you can’t go wrong with a castle.

I don’t know about you but those towers don’t look right. To me they kind of resemble a trio of flowery dildos. Definitely not what you’d want on a cake for a little girl’s birthday.

70. Those who grew up with The Magic School Bus will enjoy this birthday cake of Ms. Frizzle.

Wait a minute, that’s supposed to be of musical artist Tori Amos. My bad. And a very bad rendition of her, too. Seriously, that doesn’t look right.

71. Of course, I couldn’t do a birthday cake post without including one of My Little Pony.

Well, this cake just says “My Little Pony,” so the birthday girl in this situation will have to use her imagination. Which is kind of a shame because the decorator didn’t know how to follow directions.

72. This 14-year-old girl’s birthday cake will bring you to tears.

Or rather, tears of, wait, is that supposed to be blood? Sure looks like it. So why did anyone think this was a good idea for a birthday cake? Why?

73. Since Frozen is all the rage, I just had to include a birthday cake of Queen Elsa.

Now that hardly resembles Elsa at all. More like a cartoony Queen Marie Antoinette dressed like Elsa for Halloween. They should’ve used a decal instead.

74. Happy 35th Birthday and sorry, I can’t draw a unicorn.

Well, I have to admire the decorator’s honesty. Then again, they might just have been repeating what the customer ordered. Either way, doesn’t look great on a cake.

75. Girls who love Disney princesses will surely adore this Cinderella birthday cake.

I’m afraid Cinderella hasn’t aged very well. That, or she’s been having a lot of plastic surgery over the years that has gone horribly wrong. I’m not sure which.

76. Happy birthday, and by the way, you’re fat.

Yeah, I think having “Happy Birthday Chubby” on a cake is bound to cause someone to have either a lower self-image or lose their temper. Please, don’t try to risk either.

77. All what this cake should say is, “Happy Birthday.”

Seems like someone took some customer’s directions a bit more literal than they should. Seriously, all they had to write was “Happy Birthday.” How hard could it be?

78. For small children, you can’t go wrong with an Elmo birthday cake.

To be fair, the birthday girl in this situation was sharing a birthday with her dad. However, it does seem like Elmo’s being naughty at a strip club. Seriously, couldn’t they just put a pickup truck for God’s sake?

79. All right, who the hell is L Hyphen A (With Sprinkles)?

Seems like this cake decorator put down exactly just what the customer ordered. Just not how they wanted it. That’s how you get cakes like these.

80. A guy who likes action movies would always like a birthday cake with Chuck Norris.

This cake is so wrong on so many levels. For one, that doesn’t look like Chuck Norris. Second, the grammar is horrible. Oh, that’s supposed to be “doesn’t cry”. Well, the spacing’s too close. Third, an assault weapon, really?

Touchdown with These Super Bowl Sunday Party Treats (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on January 8, 2016

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Just when you thought the holiday gorging season is over. Another one just seems to take its place. This time it’s NFL playoff season which will soon cap it off with the Super Bowl, which will be the most watched TV event of the year (but I’ll be watching Downton Abbey and Galavant if the Steelers aren’t in it). This year the Steelers barely made it into the playoffs after winning against Cleveland and Buffalo winning against the Jets (thank you, Buffalo). So naturally, on Saturday, they’ll be going against the Cincinnati Bengals. Nevertheless, most of the food that’s eaten during football games isn’t the best thing for you. Let’s face it, if your New Year’s resolutions include losing weight or eating healthier, you might stay away from the standard football fare like burgers, hotdogs, fries, chips, nachos, wings, pizza, fried chicken, and what else have you. And when it comes to the Super Bowl, well, you can bet some football fans will probably have given up sticking to their diets. Now I am not the most avid football fan. Yet, since I live in Pittsburgh Steeler country, I am well aware that pro football is a really big deal that the Super Bowl is America’s biggest unofficial national holiday. So it’s not unusual that many people throw Super Bowl parties on Super Bowl Sunday with their own gridiron grub. So for your reading pleasure this playoff season, here are some more Super Bowl delights for your big game party.

New York Giants fans will surely get a kick out of these cupcakes.

I’m not sure if the Giants are in the playoffs this year. Then again, they’ve won 2 Super Bowls against the Patriots. So this sort of counts.

2. This football cookies will certainly look good on your Super Bowl dessert platter.

After all, football cookies seem easy to make and decorate. I’m sure you can find chocolate and white icing at your local grocery store.

3. You’ve heard of cheeseburgers. But have you’ve seen a cheeseburger cupcake?

Yes, this is a cheeseburger cupcake. Still, unlike some, you can have one with chocolate and vanilla.

4. It’s not a Super Bowl party without some pigskin potato skins.

I’ve done pigskin potato skins in my last Super Bowl treat post. but these are made in a very different way. Still has the same heart attack potential.

5. Last year’s top Super Bowl dessert was none other than the Deflate Cake.

Sorry, Patriots fans, but I couldn’t resist. This is just perfect. the deflated football almost looks real. I’m sure this wasn’t made in New England.

6. These Ritz cracker crunch footballs will surely delight the younger fans.

These look almost professionally made as you might see. Still, at least this picture lists the ingredients so I won’t have to make them out myself.

7. Of course, a Super Bowl treat post wouldn’t be complete without a snackadium to keep some food in one place.

This one has olives on the play in the guacamole field. Still, seems smaller than others but I’m sure some of the fare might not be good for you.

8. Nothing makes a great dessert on Super Bowl Sunday than these football cupcakes.

Uses cookie footballs and minty green icing. Still, they’re quite adorable. And they’re chocolate.

9. When it comes to dip, you can’t go wrong with a guac field.

At least this looks a bit healthier than the previous stuff I’ve put on my post so far. Like how they used peppers for field goals.

10. Super Bowl Sunday wouldn’t be the same without some chocolate peanut football treats.

These look quite cute. Not sure how you get the peanuts together. But it looks doable. Also uses chocolate icing.

11. Bring the big game spirit onto your dessert platter than some football pretzel sticks.

Seems like all you have to do with these are dip them in chocolate, wait for them to dry, and put football etchings on them. Can’t be that difficult.

12. If you prefer fun size, these pretzel bites will make your game.

Like the sticks, it just seems you dip them in chocolate before painting stripes on them. Not shaped like footballs. But as long as they’re tasty, who cares.

13. Your Super Bowl appetizer isn’t complete without a football bread bowl of dip.

On second thought, couldn’t just be football bread instead? That would’ve been great just as well and there would be no need to scoop out the bread.

14. This football appetizer platter will give you all the cheese and crackers of your heart’s desires.

Well, the football is made from pepperoni and cheese with everything else surrounding it. Not the most healthy option for you. But it doesn’t look half bad.

15. Fans in Seattle will certainly delight munching on a sugar cookie jersey of their favorite Seahawk.

Not sure if I know any of these guys besides Marshawn Lynch and the one with the braids (whose name I forget). Still, the fans will love them.

16. Mason jar football brownie treats would make a fine addition to any Super Bowl party.

Not sure how big these jars are. But these certainly look tasty. Love the brownie footballs at the top.

17. This pigskin cheese dip is all covered in bacon.

Now this is bound to give someone coronaries. Because bacon isn’t known to be good for you. Still, like the cheese stripes.

18. This Super Bowl, grace your dessert platter with these football bars.

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Not sure what these are. Cheese cake bars? Seems to look like it. Oh, wait, they’re fruit bars. Well, as long as they resemble footballs, that’s fine with me.

19. These football pretzels are sure to make a tasty Super Bowl snack.

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Actually they’re football pretzel sandwich snacks. They’re used with Rolo chocolate. Not sure if this was made by the company. But it still goes on the post.

20. Nothing makes a Super Bowl party worthwhile than some Buffalo chicken sandwich patties.

Basically it’s ground up buffalo chicken shaped into footballs. And they’re decorated by string cheese for a more realistic effect.

21. Nothing is sure to excite the people of Green Bay, Wisconsin than a Green Bay Packers gingerbread house.

Yes, somebody actually did this. Still, I think it would’ve been more appropriate if it was a cheese or lunch meat house. Because it’s the Packers.

22. Steeler fans are sure to adore this cake as a dessert centerpiece.

Of course, I had to include at least one Steeler treat on this post. Not sure about the football. Looks a bit deflated and more appropriate for a New England Patriots cake.

23. You can’t have a Super Bowl party without including some cookie dough footballs.

They’re basically footballs with cookie dough inside a shell of chocolate. I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. I mean they put cookie dough in ice cream for God’s sake.

24. On the field, it’s the Hershey’s Kisses vs. the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

To be fair, both candies are made by the same company, Hershey’s. Still, this cake is amazing. I also love how they made the striped Hershey Kisses refs.

25. For those who fondly remember Deflategate, feast your eyes on this chocolate “Bradie” ball.

This was made by a guy in Pennsylvania and it wasn’t for sale. Nevertheless, it weighs 13 lbs. Sorry, scratch that. It actually weighs 11.2 lbs since someone named Tom Brady let the air out.

26. Though it’s winter, these Giants ice cream sandwiches make a great frozen treat in New York.

Yes, these are New York Giants ice cream sandwiches. And since they’re a football team, each one has stripes and team colors in sprinkles.

27. With the Denver Broncos in the playoffs, there’s no better time to show you a Denver Brocnos dessert pizza.

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Most of this is made from popcorn and chocolate as well as sprinkles and other candies. Actually found it on Pinterest in September.

28. You can’t have a Super Bowl snackadium without some pop cans at the edges.

Actually I see some bear cans in the mix as well. Nevertheless, I think the most healthy things in here are the popcorn and the dips.

29. Why just have hotdogs on your grill when you can also have them on your dessert platter, too?

Yes, those are candy hotdogs. And yes, the circus peanut buns and gum drop relish make them look disgusting. Still, it’s unique so they’ll do.

30. People of Chicago would certainly adore this Chicago Bears chocolate cake.

Well, the Chicago Bears were National Conference champs and played in the Super Bowl in 2006. But the Indianapolis Colts beat them. Also, haven’t won a Super Bowl since the 1980s.

31. You never have a complete Super Bowl dessert platter until you have football gobs.

Seems like these gobs are rather easy to make as long as they’re shaped like footballs. Then after that is the icing of the stripes.

32. People from Seattle can always go crazy over a double decker Seahawk cake.

Now that’s a cake you could see from a mile away or in the dark. A green icing that bright could do that to a cake.

33. You can’t have a hit Super Bowl party without some cinnamon roll football cookies.

Yes, these are made from cinnamon roles. But they’re flatter as you see. Not sure if you can eat them for breakfast.

34. If you love the Pittsburgh Steelers, then you’ll love these Steeler sugar cookies.

Seems like this one has footballs, Steeler helmets, stadium views, Terrible Towels, logo, and jerseys of Big Ben, Heinz Ward, and Polamalu. Now Ward and Polamalu are out.

35. Nothing makes a better Super Bowl dessert than some football peanut butter Rice Krispie treats.

Yes, they’re just footballs with peanut butter. No, real footballs don’t look like that. Still, seem tasty.

36. For healthier dessert options, may I suggest you go with some chocolate football apple slices?

It’s possible that they’re probably covered in chocolate so they resemble footballs. Still, healthier than some of the other options on here, I’ll say.

37. These Oreo cookie footballs will surely make tasty Super Bowl treats during the big game.

I guess the Oreo cookies are crumpled up in footballs and covered by chocolate icing. May not look like much but I bet they taste great.

38. Seems like one of these little wieners just made a pass.

These are mini hotdogs with olive helmets and mustard features. And it seems they’re in the heat of a critical moment at this time.

39. This football cake is sure to make a wonderful centerpiece for your Super Bowl party.

And it’s surrounded by graham crackers to dip in. Either consisting of field goal icings and ones all covered in sprinkles.

40. Nothing makes a Super Bowl party better than a peanut butter football cake.

And all you have to do once it’s out of the oven are putting in some icing marks. Still, has some cracks but I’d certainly eat it.

41. No Super Bowl party platter is complete without a football pizza.

Yes, I did a football pizza before last year. And yes, it did have pepperoni and cheese. But this one is round.

42. You’re familiar with hotdogs at football games. But have you ever seen a football hotdog?

Well, this is more of a cheese and chili football hotdog. Nevertheless, it does have the football spirit and nachos on the side.

43. Seems like this large snackadium offers more healthier options.

Well, this contains fruit, cheese, and guacamole dip. Also, from what I can tell, this snackadium seems to be made for a Pittsburgh area venue. Well, at least according to the table cloth and the dip.

44. Celebrate the Super Bowl with with some football mozzarella sticks.

Yes, these are football mozzarella sticks. Yes, I know they don’t look like sticks. But they resemble footballs and shouldn’t that be enough?

45. This cookie tray is bound to have a jersey of your favorite Pittsburgh Steeler.

Well, Big Ben and Harrison are still around. Holmes got traded. Polamalu, Keisel, and Ward have retired. Not sure about the others.

46. For Seahawks fans, these blue and green Rice Krispie treats can’t be beat.

Well, they’re in the team colors whether through sprinkles, icing, or food coloring. Still, not sure how they’d taste.

47. You can’t complete a Super Bowl dessert platter without some cookie ice cream sandwiches.

Yet, out of these footballs, only half of these are covered in chocolate. Nevertheless, they sure look tasty if you ask me.

48. This football contains 3 different dips.

Seems like they consist of guacamole, salsa, and dressing. How they remain separated in this dish, I have no idea.

49. I give you, the quintessential meat snackadium.

The stands are made out of hamburgers and the edges and field goals are made out of hotdogs. Nevertheless, it’s certainly bound to induce some heart attacks.

50. These chocolate football brownies are sure to be any chocolate lover’s Super Bowl delight.

Now these are chocolate football brownies with chocolate icing. Must be so chocolatey rich as I say.

51. For Giants fans, you can’t have a better Super Bowl cake than one of MetLife Stadium.

I guess this was made by a professional. Still, love how the crowd is represented by sprinkles. So creative.

52. This Super Bowl, take a bite out of these super football sandwiches.

Seems like these buns are whole wheat and have the markings made from cheese. Still, I’m sure they’d be great for any Super Bowl party.

53. Nothing makes a great Super Bowl snack like some football nuts.

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Seems like these were from the year when it was the San Francisco 49ers against the Baltimore Ravens. Ravens won and it resulted in as many Super Bowl wins for Ray Lewis as murder allegations.

54. This large snackadium is sure a real hoagie breadbasket.

Seems like this one appears to be made by someone with too much time on their hands or in the restaurant business. Wonder what happened to the food left over.

55. When it comes to parking, this snackadium has a whole lot to follow.

Seems like this one is all packed with snacks and brownies. Still, I love how this person used chocolate bars for cars and chocolate chips for wheels.

56. For a veggie dish, may I suggest some football taco salad?

Then again, this may be a dip for all I know. Then again, it’s probably healthier than some of the other dishes on this post. And it’s the most colorful football arrangement I’ve seen so far.

57. This snackadium seems partially constructed from Rice Krispies.

This seems to be an interesting arrangement. Probably built by someone with too much time on their hands. Likethe donuts on the burgers.

58. This Super Bowl dessert platter will sure be a hit at your party during the big game.

This seems to have a fruit pizza field and other delights. Nevertheless, seems to be made by a Green Bay Packers fan by the looks of it.

59. No Super Bowl party would be complete without these big game cupcakes.

These consist of a football and a filled stadium. And the best part about these is that they’re chocolate.

60. New Enlganders would delight with these Patriots cookies.

These consist of a couple helmets, logos, and footballs. Also has a a Brady jersey. One for each side. What an asshole.

61. In memory of Deflategate, here are some great football cookies in case the Patriots make the Super Bowl.

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They’re said to be made by a coffee company in Boston. Seriously, I’m not kidding. Still, wonder how many orders they got outside New England.

62. Another cookie option would be of Tom Brady’s court portrait.

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For some reason, this guy reminds me more of FBI Agent Nelson Van Alden from Boardwalk Empire. Seriously, he totally looks as if he could drown his partner in a lake in an attempt to baptize him. Made from an Indianapolis bakery.

63. Like peanut butter and chocolate chips? Then you’ll love these football cookies.

Well, these footballs seem spotty if you ask me. But nevertheless, they sure look tasty regardless.

64. This Superbowl, take a bite out of these Reese’s fudge footballs.

Seem to resemble the Ritz cracker crunch ones I showed earlier. But they’re probably softer. Still, these look so delicious.

65. Nothing makes a Super Bowl party complete than these little football toast pizzas.

They seem rather small and made with mustard stripes. Still, whoever made these was quite creative if you ask me.

66. Celebrate this Super Bowl with some jello shots representing your team.

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Now jello shots contain alcohol and shouldn’t be taken by anyone under 21, pregnant, AA members, or designated drivers. Nevertheless, these seem to be for the San Francisco 49ers. Of course, you probably remembered what happened to them when they went against Baltimore.

67. For those rooting for Green Bay, this cake is for you.

Seems most appropriate since the Packers are associated with cheese, namely cheese heads. Still, not sure if I’m fine with them beating the Steelers at the Super Bowl. Then again, it could be worse.

68. This cake is sure to show some plays on the field.

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This looks quite clever to say the least. Seems so simple to make if you know how to do an icing playbook.

69. To make your Super Bowl party a hit, use some football pizza dip.

To some it resembles a pizza. To others, it looks like a pie with pepperoni on top. But to me, it’s clever and seems rather appetizing.

70. When it comes to Super Bowl parties, you can’t go wrong with a football stuffed pizza.

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Yes, I might’ve shown a football calzone before. But this one is made from bread and it looks so toasty. Also love the cheese decor on this.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 7, 2015

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Since my post on ugly Christmas sweaters garnered so much popularity last year and this year, I decided to go with another edition. Now this is me near the basement fireplace at my house with two Christmas stockings at hand. Here I am wearing a cute penguin fleece that says “Let It Snow!” which isn’t exactly ugly, a sweater, or even specifically for Christmas. But if I was invited to an ugly Christmas sweater party, it would be the kind of top I’d wear. But let’s just say I wouldn’t be the star attraction. That would take extra time and/or money for that, neither of which I have. So that means I’d just have to stick to being tasteful and cute. But plenty of people seem to as I’ve found on Google Images or Pinterest. And yes, the vast boundaries of tackiness are infinite which is why I made this and last year’s ugly Christmas sweater posts not safe for work. And some you have to wonder whether there are kids who’d be seeing such fashion atrocities. So without further adieu, I present some more moments of yuletide tackiness in all its Christmas glory.

To start things off, best to warn your loved ones not to stick their tongues out on metal in below freezing weather, even on a triple dog dare.

Yeah, that was very dumb but a very funny moment in the movie. But if I was that kid, I’d have the common sense not to bow to peer pressure.

2. On Christmas Eve, get tacky together with these footie pajamas.

Now this brings yuletide fashion horrors to the next level. But they sure do look comfy if you ask me. Wouldn’t want to be caught dead in them though.

3. I’m sure garlands and bulbs are bound to make anything look festive.

Now I wonder if this was made for a man or a woman. Probably a woman by the looks of it. I think the bulbs make it obvious.

4. Think wearing a Christmas tree is hard? Try wearing a fireplace.

Now I wonder if she has to stand like that all the time so all the stuff on her arms doesn’t fall off. Yeah, I think after a while, it’s bound to get pretty uncomfortable.

5. Of course, in any ugly Christmas party, children are usually required to get with the program.

I’m sure this little girl isn’t very happy with what she had to wear at her grandmother’s house. Yes, her mom worked so hard on it. But still, would you want to be seen in that?

6. Styrofoam and cotton balls are always great for snow.

However, I don’t know whether Frosty’s chest should be bigger than his rear end. You have to wonder whether he’s on some performance enhancement snow steroids to get a body like that.

7. When it comes to Christmas, you can’t go wrong with a tutu and green tights.

Now she’s certainly tacky in her gay apparel. And she’s gloating in it for the picture. Like the tinsel neckline and Christmas tree.

8. As far as couples go, she’s the elf and he’s the shelf.

And since she’s the elf, she has to be on his shoulders. Of course, he’ll have to take her down once in a while. Yeah, 100 pounds isn’t light as a feather.

9. Instead of wearing a Christmas sweater, perhaps try on a Christmas skirt.

I could imagine an elementary teacher wearing something like this on the day before school will be out for break. Still, it’s horrendously festive for the occasion.

10. Bundle up this holiday season with your very own Christmas tree hat and scarf.

Now this is the kind of winter gear you’d see at Whoville this time of year. Yes, it’s festive and Christmas appropriate. But would anyone want to be caught dead in that? I doubt it.

11. Of course, some guys see themselves this all the time.

Yes, his shirt may say he’s God’s gift to women. But does it mean he really is? You might want to check that out for yourself.

12. Nothing says Christmas than wearing a yarn Christmas wreath and a headband of Christmas tree antlers.

Not sure if that wreath was sewn in or not. I’m sure the shirt is a turtleneck, but the wreath looks like it’s hanging like a necklace.

13. Bring some winter into the Christmas season with this bright blue cardigan of a polar bear skiing.

Now this is more of a winter sweater than a Christmas one. And no, polar bears don’t bundle up or ski. But still, it’s pretty funny. And yes, this is a very tacky sweater.

14. As far as the Christmas season goes, it’s jingle bells and feel the joy.

However, if your ugly sweater party includes children, it’s better if you don’t wear sweaters like these. Yeah, you’ll probably get complaints from the parents.

15. Now this guy is sure decked up like a Christmas tree.

Now all he needs is a skirt and hat to go with that and he’s all set. Then again, he might want to just stick with the sweater.

16. If you love Frosty the Snowman, then you’ll love this dress.

Of course, not sure if she’ll be warm in the legs. Yeah, maybe she should get some white leg warmers with that.

17. Apparently someone doesn’t care much for fruitcake.

Seems like fruitcake is either the Christmas food people don’t like or the one they eat when consuming lots of booze. Well, that’s as far as I know about it.

18. You aren’t dressed for Christmas until you wear a Santa penguin vest.

Geographically speaking, Santa lives nowhere near penguins. However, this outfit is pretty horrific on so many levels. The penguins are cute though.

19. Of course, it’s not just humans who bask in the horrendous holiday fashion scene.

I don’t think Scruffy appreciates wearing a tacky sweater of a Christmas tree. Doesn’t want to be the laughingstock of the dog park. But his owners think it’s adorable.

20. Trim your ugly Christmas sweater this year with a red feather boa.

Yes, feather boas always seem to make everything look tackier. And this is no exception.

21. Bring in the spirit of the season in all its glory with this Christmas tutu.

Now this one has ornaments and lights on it. So you can be a horrendously tacky Christmas ballerina if you please.

22. Rock this holiday season in your very own Frosty the Snowman hat.

Now a top hat over a top hat. Wonder if it doesn’t hit the door when he goes out of the bathroom. Yeah, I’d watch it if I were him.

23. To go with your Christmas sweater this year, how about go with holiday hair.

I’m sure Effie Trinket has a wig just like this for the holiday season. Then again, I’m not sure they even celebrate Christmas in Panem. It’s certainly not mentioned.

24. Of course, it’s always Mrs. Claus who deals with Santa when he’s being naughty.

If you like Christmas and Fifty Shades of Grey, then this is the perfect sweater for you. However, I think dominatrix Mrs. Claus might be too inappropriate for small children.

25. Now that is one ugly ass Christmas sweater.

Even the sweater itself says this. And it even lights up. Still, I think parents of small children might have a problem with this. Just saying.

26. For footwear, it helps that your slippers are covered in bows.

Of course, bows like these usually have a decorative purpose only. But these shoes are sure festive at any holiday party.

27. For some you can’t say Christmas without including Sasquatch.

Yes, this is a Bigfoot Christmas sweater. No, I’m not sure if Bigfoot actually wears this (if he exists). But yes, it’s ridiculous.

28. Now I see why they call them, “ginger snaps.”

Seems like 2 gingerbread men got themselves decapitated. And I’m sure they aren’t going to like being dipped in milk.

29. Now you’ve heard of a Santa sweater. How about Santa on your sweater?

Okay, this Santa is pretty creepy to say the least. Also, he doesn’t even have a beard for Christ’s sake! Now that’s just holiday sacrilege.

30. This Christmas step out in your very own Reindeer stilettos.

You know if you want to wear ugly Christmas shoes, be my guest. However, I think you should at least aim for comfort and support. These are ridiculous.

31. If you and your friends are stuck in the frat house this Christmas, make sure your Christmas sweater comes with a funnel and tube.

Really? A funnel and tube with your Christmas sweater? And it doesn’t have sleeves? Guess that’s for the eggnog drinking contest.

32. Uh, Santa, I think you can use a shirt and some pants.

Well, at least this image of Santa was done in felt. Still, it’s pretty disturbing if you think about it. Seriously, nobody wants to see a naked Santa Claus.

33. Of course, if you don’t think it’s tacky enough, you can always add on to it.

Apparently somebody has been spending too much time at the sewing machine. But yeah, it looks like a really horrendous patchwork sewing job.

34. I call this one a, “Gropey Grinchmas Sweater.”

Because it looks like a woman’s sweater and it has Grinchy hands at the boob area. Yeah, Grinch is a perv.

35. Now this Santa sweater is sure to light up by the flick of a switch.

Is it just me, or does this jolly old Saint Nicholas look like he’s from the dark depths of Hell? I don’t know, he just kind of looks evil for some reason.

36. Stand out at Christmas with this tinsel and jingle neck tie.

Now that has to be the tackiest Christmas neck tie I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it makes those you see in the store look tame by comparison.

37. Of course, you’ll have to look in back to see if it’s a buck.

Yep, that’s a buck all right as far as I can tell. Now that’s just sick. Really sick. But I’m sure deer hunters will get a kick out of it.

38. If you liked the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special, then you’ll like this Abominable Snowman sweater with lights.

Now I find this Abominable Snowman quite adorable to day the least. And I like the lights. But yeah, it’s pretty tacky.

39. For your legs, may I suggest a pair of ugly Christmas leggings?

Of course, they might just be tights or sweat pants for all I know. But yes, they’re very horrendous and tacky indeed.

40. Nevertheless, there could be only one snowman out there who could make Christmas great again (sarcasm).

Trumpy the Snowman, is a bonafide asshole/With hate-filled mouth and a large ego, and a toupee of orange mole./Trumpy the Snowman, is a stupid joke they say/ He is full of blow but hell if I know why can’t he just go away.

41. Of course, you can now wear a Christmas sweater that was inspired from the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

However, unlike the one the Grinch wears in the movie, this one doesn’t light up. But it does jingle and jangle.

42. Like poinsettias? Now these slippers are for you.

Now these have green garlands, gold baubles, and red poinsettias. And yes, they sure look horrific as can be.

43. If you liked The Nightmare Before Christmas, you’ll like this Jack Skellington Christmas sweater.

And yes, it certainly lights up as you can see. Still, you really don’t want to get a Christmas present from Jack Skellington of Halloween town.

44. Those who might not care for Christmas much will certainly delight in this Grinch hoodie.

Now this is just clever. Like how his heart is 3 sizes too small. Also like the green garland.

45. Husband not too fond of his Christmas ties? Make a sweater with them.

Now you can sew on some ties and buttons on this turtleneck and wear it for Christmas. Yes, it’s tacky but tis the season for ugly Christmas sweaters.

46. This Christmas, take out the turkey and make it look festive for the season.

Now this one has some lights and Santa hats on the legs. Yes, it’s pretty tacky and ridiculous. But I think it’s also pretty funny.

47. If you live in Florida, I’m sure this flamingo cardigan would suit your fancy.

Then again, Florida isn’t known for having sweater weather. Still, it’s the kind of sweater I’d expect someone from Florida to own. Yes, it’s tacky.

48. If you liked “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” then you’ll like this sweater.

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Yeah, a song about Grandma getting run over by Santa’s sleigh is pretty funny. But a sweater of reindeer running over an old lady in a walker? Don’t know what to think about that.

49. Seems like Zombie Claus tends to rise from his grave with his sack on Christmas Eve.

Of course, you’d want to watch out for Zombie Claus. Because if you’re a kid who’s been bad, he’ll devour your brains. So be good for goodness sake.

50. Of course, I’m sure everyone has heard of the Christmas llama.

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Yes, it’s just a llama with a scarf on it. But still, llamas are pretty cool animals. And I think it’s pretty funny.

51. Don’t think a Christmas sweater is tacky enough? Then go with a Christmas jumpsuit.

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Now that’s one ugly jumpsuit. Certainly wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing that. Yeah, quite horrendous.

52. Now these Christmas bootie slippers come with all the bows.

Yeah, someone actually made these from gift bows. And yes, they’re colorful. However, not sure if I could wear them around my house if you ask me.

53. When it comes to decorating Christmas sweaters, you can never have enough bows.

And this one seems to have a big one and a bunch of little ones. Oh, and it has some other decorations, too.

54. To go with those poinsettia slippers, I now give you a poinsettia sweater.

Though I love flowers, I’m not sure what to think about the poinsettia. Certainly don’t want to get one. Still, those flowers look like they’ve been stolen from somebody’s grave.

55. Oh, shit, Santa just got stuck in the chimney.

Of course, since he’s a fat guy in a red suit, you’d have to expect this. Still, would it hurt him to just go through the front door? I mean he obviously wouldn’t like going down to find a blazing hot fire.

56. For some pet owners, a Christmas sweater of their dog says so much.

I know some people are crazy about their pets. But a pug sweater with a poinsettia and tinsel wreath? C’mon. That’s ridiculous.

57. Those who love polar bears will love this polar bear tree sweater.

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Of course, it’s also available in adult size and for men. But yes, the bears are so cute. And the sweater is so tacky.

58. When it comes to Christmas dresses, you can never have too many ornaments.

Still, I don’t think it’s a dress you’d want to vacuum in. I mean it’s liable some of the ornaments can drop and break. Also, the noise.

59. Be in the holiday spirit this Christmas with this bauble headband.

Now this was mostly made of stuff you’d get at a craft store. But it’s a great addition to any tacky Christmas look you’re aiming for.

60. If you want to dress as a Christmas tree, you can’t go wrong with a tutu dress.

Now these two seem all decked in green tulle and shiny lights. They’re also wearing a star on their heads as well. Yes, it’s horrendous but they seem to enjoy themselves.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen on These Christmas Treats (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on December 3, 2015

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Last year I did a post on Christmas food which was a big success last Christmas season and even got more views this November. So I decided to do another Christmas food post this year for those wanting more. Now while last year’s opening had a turkey, this year has a ham. As we all know, because Thanksgiving and Christmas are big holidays with a higher food consumption than usual, going on a diet this holiday season is usually a very bad idea. Now while there are plenty of food items associated with Christmas, I’m mostly going to focus on items that resemble things familiar with the holiday. So while ham and turkey may be Christmas entrees, neither will be in this post unless I see a ham or turkey with Santa’s face on it. This is just an example. So yeah, it’s all about the aesthetics here as with most holiday treat posts I’ve done. And yes, expect a lot of appetizers and desserts. So for your reading pleasure, here are some more Christmas treats for you to ogle during this holiday season.

For some Mexican flair in the appetizer platter, you can’t go wrong with some Mexican Christmas tree dip.

Now this contains red and green peppers, olives, and cheese. Still, this is the kind of tree well suited for your nachos.

2. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like reindeer cupcakes.

Then again, it’s fairly possible that Santa’s sleigh team would consist of females and young males. I mean older male reindeer usually shed their antlers by December. Of course, it’s possible they can all be girls with rather masculine names.

3. You’ve heard of a gingerbread house. But have you heard of a pretzel log cabin?

Yes, these are log cabins made from pretzel sticks with icing and other candies. However, it seems like these two houses only share one outhouse for some reason.

4. Bring the spirit of Christmas to your dessert platter with these Reese’s chocolate Christmas trees.

Now these are made from Hershey’s kisses and Reese’s cups. And they’re all covered in white icing and sprinkles to resemble snow.

5. This Christmas, bring the holiday spirit into your home with some Christmas wreath bruschetta.

Now this looks quite charming and can also be called “Christmas Wreath Veggie Pizza.” Yet, they had to use icing on the bow.

6. During this holiday season, wake up for some Santa pancakes.

Now this uses mini marshmallows, jelly, and M&Ms. However, it’s probably more healthier than anything you’d get at IHOP.

7. If you’re celebrating Christmas in Japan, go with a sushi Christmas tree.

Still, while I don’t mean to criticize Japanese eating habits, I have to admit sushi is far more healthier than what most Japanese eat on Christmas. You know, a bucket of Colonel Sanders’ Kentucky Fried Coronaries. Seriously, KFC food is finger lickin’ lethal.

8. Nothing makes a better Christmas cherry pie than one shaped like a candy cane.

And the best part is, it’s much easier to slice than a regular circle one. Still, that’s pretty clever if you think about it.

9. Grace your appetizer platter this Christmas with a veggie Christmas tree.

Talk about stacking up veggies like a tree. Of course, it mostly consists of broccoli for the foliage.

10. Then again, perhaps you might prefer a veggie platter with some lettuce.

Now this is a more organized Christmas tree with each veggie in a straight line. And this one is much greener as well.

11. For you fruit lovers out there, there is an edible Christmas tree for you, too.

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Now this contains strawberries, grapes, cantaloupe, and starfruit. And yes, it’s in Christmas tree form for your yuletide fruit salad delight.

12. Nothing makes a better dip this season than Christmas tree cream cheese.

Of course, it’s not green as you might see it. And it’s covered in chives and sauce. But it’s pretty clever.

13. Nothing makes a meat lover’s Christmas complete than a Christmas wreath kielbasa.

Now this contains yellow, red, and green bell peppers, olives, and some bread dough. It’s not necessarily green but it’ll do.

14. Make the most of this winter holiday season with these marshmallow snowman cookies.

For some reason, these tend to look like little snowman cowboys to me. Like the fruit roll-up scarves.

15. For healthier options, you can always go with strawberry Santas.

Now these have a strawberry suit, whipped cream faces, and chocolate chip eyes. Nevertheless, they’re adorable.

16. For your dessert platter, these Christmas tree brownies are sure to be a real treat.

Now I loved how they used sprinkles for the decoration. Nevertheless, these are simply charming and cute. Besides, who doesn’t love brownies?

17. Of course, you can’t go wrong with a chocolate Christmas tree either.

Now this consists of chocolate, icing, and small tiny cookies to use as ornaments and a star. Still, I’d eat this right up if it was in front of me.

18. At your ugly Christmas sweater party, it would be most appropriate if you go with an ugly Christmas sweater cupcake cake.

And this one is trimmed with mini marshmallows and covered in Christmas lights. Whoever thought up this must be brilliant.

19. Be a healthy angel this holiday season with this breaded Christmas angel.

Then again, it’s probably a sandwich. But it seems to cover an astonishingly small amount of space on the plate.

20. Of course, you’ve heard of “Silver Bells.” Well, have you heard of cheesy green Christmas bells?

Now other than cheese and some veggies, I’m not sure what else is in these bells. Still, it’s pretty clever when you think about it.

21. Watch the iconic Christmas special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with cupcakes of Rudolph and Clarice.

Of course, I personally thought that Rudolph and Herman should’ve remained at the Island of Misfit Toys. Seriously, Santa in that special was a real jerk. So was Rudolph’s dad.

22. Grace your holiday appetizer platter this year with these Christmas tree hard boiled eggs.

Man, they seem to have hard boiled eggs for almost every occasion. Still, I wonder how they got the eggs in that Christmas tree shape.

23. Treat yourselves this Christmas to some Christmas tree Rice Krispie treats.

Now these trees seem to be decorated with those cinnamon candies and specks of peppermint. Also like how they used the green icing.

24. Treat your kids this Christmas with these Santa hat cake pops.

Now these are so clever. Nevertheless, it’s possible that these might be strawberry pops, but I doubt it.

25. For a healthy Christmas lunch, you can’t go wrong with a pea pod Christmas tree.

Now this includes an American cheese star and a pretzel stick trunk. Still, it’s quite cute.

26. When it comes to Christmas tree brownies, you can decorate them however you like.

You can use some sugar and sprinkles. And you can decorate one with the red cinnamon candies. Nevertheless, it helps if you include candy cane handles.

27. Make your dessert platter a winter wonderland with these snowflake and Christmas tree cupcakes.

Now these look professionally made. Not sure if some of the decorations are edible. But they look magnificent. Like the snowflake Christmas tree.

28. Ever seen those Christmas villages? Well, here’s a Christmas village cake.

Now these might be rather simple houses near a cookie tree. But I really think this is pretty adorable and clever if you ask me. Love the icing on the houses.

29. For Christmas cookies, nothing beats candy canes.

I think my mom made these when I was a kid. Yeah, I might remember these. Yet, this is a great cookie idea.

30. Bring in the festive Christmas spirit with some Christmas tree Rice Krispie treats.

Yeah, I had Rice Krispie Christmas trees on this post earlier. But these are coned shaped, green, and 3 dimensional. Love the decorations on this though.

31. Grace your Christmas dessert platter with a large gingerbread village cake.

Now this has to be professionally done or by a repressed art major. But you have to admire how lovely these gingerbread houses are.

32. For your dessert platter, nothing makes a better centerpiece than a cupcake Christmas wreath.

Now this one comprises of cupcakes you can tear away from the original arrangement. But yes, this is cute.

33. Bring in the true Christmas spirit to your holiday party with these cupcakes.

Yes, these are professionally made as you can tell by the decorations. But I think they’re quite cute despite having a lot of icing.

34. For lunch this Christmas season, your kids will certainly love a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer PB & J.

Just cut a piece of bread in the shape of a heart and attach pretzels as antlers. Still, I think whole wheat might be better since it’s darker and healthier than white.

35. Now you know candy canes. But have you ever seen some candy cane Christmas trees?

These are manufactured since they’re still in the wrapper. Still, you have to like these and think it’s a clever treat idea.

36. For dessert, you can’t go wrong with Rice Krispie treat ornaments.

Now these are just in balls with a wrapped Rolo on top. Not sure what to think about caramel Rolos though. Wish they had more chocolate and less filling.

37. While mice are certainly a nuisance that should die this holiday season, these Christmas mice cookies should be a delight.

Now these mice are made out of chocolate with almond slice earrings and little red eyes. Still, they’re cute and won’t eat your food.

38. Wake up Christmas morning to some Christmas tree cinnamon rolls.

Yes, I had a cinnamon roll Christmas tree in my last Christmas treat post. But this one has stars and I think it’s lovely.

39. Greet this winter during the holiday season with some peppermint snowflake bark.

Now I’m sure the peppermint part of it comes from mashed candy canes. Snowflakes are also carved from a mold.

40. No kind of bread fully encapsulates the holiday spirit than some braided Nutella Christmas tree bread.

Now this is just wonderful. Man, that bread must really taste so good. Really want to bite off a piece of this.

41. For your Christmas lunch, nothing beats a Christmas tree pizza.

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Now this is only a slice. But toppings are leaves, popcorn, and peppers. Also has a tree stand crust.

42. Celebrate the Christmas season this year with this Christmas tree cake.

Who knew that you can make such an elegant Christmas tree with frosting. And yes, it’s quite stunning.

43. This Christmas your kids will certainly love a sandwich of Santa’s little helper.

Includes cheese for hair and a cucumber for a hat. Still, I think the cucumber might be proportionally larger than the head for some reason. I’m not sure why.

44. Bring the spirit of the holiday season to your appetizer platter with this candy cane cheese dip.

Contains cheese and peppers for the red stripes. Might need a mold and a big dish. Wonder how long this one is.

45. For a holiday fruit snack, may I suggest a Grinchy pear?

Includes a strawberry Santa hat, which I think is a little too small for the pear head. Still, it’s pretty clever if I do say so myself.

46. This Christmas, hope your kids can help themselves to some Santa gouda cheese.

Unlike some of the treats on here, the decorative parts aren’t exactly edible. Nevertheless, I do think it’s cute to put little belts over the wax cover.

47. If you have a round dish, then I don’t see anything wrong with an ornament veggie tray at your Christmas party.

Now this consists of baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, and cucumber slices. And they’re all arranged in neat rows for your guests’ convenience.

48. Now wouldn’t you say Christmas is so right for Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer brownie bites?

Basically these are round brownies with pretzel antlers on them. Well, partial antlers on them. But they’re cute that your kids will love them.

49. When it comes to Christmas treats for kids, you can’t go wrong with cereal bar sleighs with candy cane blades.

If it weren’t for the gummy bears in the sack, I would’ve mistaken these for tank. Still, like the candy cane blades on them.

50. Prank your naughty friends this year with some lump of coal candy.

Wonder if anyone would look at this and think it’s the real thing. It’s just candy so don’t use it as fuel for your fireplace. But yeah, it looks real.

51. This Christmas, spread some seasonal cheer on your appetizer platter with this Christmas tree cheese ball.

Now this is covered in parsley, peppers, and almonds. Still, not sure if it’s grand enough to be a centerpiece in the cracker tray.

52. Bring the snowy spirit of Christmas this holiday season with some snowflake cookies.

Yes, I love purple and I do think these snowflake cookies are beautiful. Nevertheless, I think they’re professionally made according to the design, at least.

53. For your dessert platter, you can’t get any jollier than these Santa hat cupcakes.

Yes, they look a bit like Santa hat cake pops except that they’re bigger. But they are pretty cute if you ask me.

54. Celebrate this Christmas on your appetizer platter with some Grinch guacamole for your nachos.

Really seems to resemble the guy if you ask me. I especially like his frowning expression with the olive eyes. Yes, quite amusing.

55. For a healthy fruit snack, you can’t go wrong with an apple Christmas tree.

And it has a cheese star, a pretzel stick stump, and raisin decorations. Of course, the raisins might run the risk of being mistaken for chocolate chips.

56. For Christmas dinner, help yourself to some Santa bread.

Now this bread has all the features of Santa including the hat, nose, and beard. Guess this was made by some repressed art major.

57. This Christmas, treat your kids to a healthy treat of apple snowman.

Yes, this is an apple made snowman. No, it’s not quite white. But then again, no snowman is anyway since a lot of snowmen have grime.

58. For Christmas lunch, help yourself to some Christmas tree pita pizza.

Contains peppers and a green sauce on some pita bread. Pretzel sticks are used as stumps. Then again, not sure what the green stuff is.

59. This Christmas, make your candy canes better by dipping them in chocolate.

Man, candy canes can be used for so much pertaining to decorating and cooking. Isn’t there something you can’t use them for this holiday season? Well, maybe.

60. Why stick with just one cheeseball when you can make a snowman with 3?

Yes, I have quite a few cheese ball stuff on this post. But hey, if they look like something that pertains to Christmas, it’ll go on this post. Besides, this is just fairly clever to say the least.

61. Make your Christmas party a hit with these Santa cake pops.

Now these Santas certainly look jolly and adorable. And I’m sure they won’t freak out the kids. Love them.

62. Now this penguin Christmas cake is sure to make your holiday season an adorable one.

Of course, penguins don’t live in the North Pole or an area with igloos or evergreen trees. But they’re so adorable in their Santa hats that you’ll overlook these things.

63. For your Christmas lunch have your kids feast their eyes on these snowmen sandwiches.

Now they have bugle hats and even some cheesy Christmas mice joining them. Nevertheless, they’re so cute.

64. Make your holiday party festive with your very own Christmas taco tree.

Now this has tacos laid out in a Christmas tree fashion. And with some cheese on the top. Whoever thought of this was a genius.

65. Grace your appetizer platter this Christmas with a Christmas cheese wreath.

Yes, this is another cheese dip confection. And yes, it doesn’t look quite like a green wreath. But it’s a great dip arrangement nevertheless.

66. For the holiday season, string cheese snowman is surely a treat that can’t be beat.

Of course, you can’t eat the attributes on the packaging. But still, you have to admit this is pretty creative.

67. On cold winter days during the season, you can’t go wrong with some marshmallow and candy cane snowmen.

And yes, they have M&M buttons and Twizzler scarves. Oh, and their hats are made from Hershey’s kisses. Still, these are adorable.

68. Nothing makes a better Christmas treat this year than a chocolate covered Christmas tree pretzel.

Now these have some pretzel sticks on them to bring out the tree design. Nevertheless, I think they’re pretty neat and sure look tasty.

69. Now these Santa cupcakes are sure to make anyone say “Ho, Ho, Ho.”

Now these have Santa’s features in icing. Of course, eating too many might put you at an increased risk of Type II Diabetes, if you’re not careful.

70. Wake up on Christmas morning to none other than some Christmas tree waffles.

Now this one is decorated with cantaloupe, raspberries, and blueberries. Nevertheless, it’s still much healthier than what you’d get at IHOP. And it’s less depressing than whatever you’d see on Christmas at the Waffle House.

71. For your fruit salad platter, it doesn’t hurt if you use a real watermelon snowman.

Of course, watermelons aren’t in season this time of year, so you’ll have to go with a store bought one. Also, snowmen aren’t green which might confuse the kiddies.

72. Reminisce about Christmas in the olden days with these Christmas vintage card cookies.

Once again, these are professionally made. Still, I wonder if any of these cookies depict some creepy kids or deranged Santas. Really would like to see that.

73. For a fruity Christmas dessert, you can’t go wrong with a Christmas wreath pavlova.

From how I see it, it’s a cake that’s covered with fruit on top. Other than that, I’m not sure what a pavlova is. Perhaps it’s another variation of fruitcake.

74. Grace your dessert platter this Christmas with a chocolate covered Oreo Christmas tree.

Now how this person managed to put so many Oreos on a stick I’ll never know. Still, love the lights on it.

75. Nothing says Christmas like these 12 Days of Christmas cake.

Now this was surely professionally made since nobody would be able to make a cake with that many layers. Love seeing Animal on the bottom. Still, I wonder how they carry this thing.

76. Wake up in these cold holiday mornings to some snowman donuts.

Of course, they had candy corn for noses which is basically inedible sugar wax most people wouldn’t think of eating on Halloween, let alone Christmas. Still, the chocolate chips to represent the eyes and mouth certainly are, if you aren’t a dog.

77. Savor the holiday season this year with these Christmas tree jello shots.

Of course, these probably contain alcohol just so to warn you. And no, these aren’t for anyone under 21. Still, like how they arranged these cups into a Christmas tree.

78. Uh-oh, it seems that Santa was too fat for this cake.

Yeah, maybe Santa should either go on a diet or hit the gym. Nevertheless, I think this s a fairly amusing cake. Like the reindeer, too.

79. Celebrate the holiday season this year with some Christmas tree lasagna.

And yes, the Christmas tree is made of all kinds of bell peppers. Still, never thought I’d see something like this. I was expecting something like Christmas tree pizza.

80. Your Christmas dessert platter is never complete without a Christmas wreath cake.

Now this is professionally made as you see with the detail. Still, you have to love the wreath design and the red ribbon on this. Very in tune with the Christmas season.

Halloween Cakes

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 18, 2015

When it comes to finding tacky and inappropriate stuff for Halloween, it’s a unique challenge compared to most holidays. I mean when you got a holiday like Christmas, Easter, and Valentines Day, anything that seems gross, inappropriate, creepy, or tacky will do. Since Halloween is known for stuff that intentionally scare or creep people out, this poses a unique challenge. If you want to know, you can see my post on vintage Halloween ads. And finding bad Halloween cakes are no exception. Now I know that many people have parties for Halloween and might also order cakes as well. Now I can do a post showing all the great scary Halloween cakes out there. But you would probably not read it at all. So instead, I’ll focus on the store bought pastry disasters that would scare even the most terrifying monster out there. So without further adieu, here are some Halloween cakes not worth scaring for.

When ordering Halloween cupcakes, it’s recommended you go with bats.

Those are bats? Seriously, they just look black scribbles on orange icing. You’d expect stuff like that from a 4-year-old.

2. “Happy Hallowen, Trick or Troat?”

Seriously, do cake decorators not have spell check or something? Because I think people know how to spell “Halloween” and “treat.”

3. Of course, a ghost is a simple design for any Halloween cake. Let’s hope nobody messes this up.

I’m sure ghosts take a fluid appearance and you can take some degree of leeway drawing one. However, these look like sperm, not ghosts. A decorator should know not to draw anything that looks like sperm.

4. Now these look like cupcakes you can really get your hands on.

Actually contrary to what Colonel Sanders once said, these don’t look anywhere near finger lickin’ good. In fact, they look very finger lickin’ bad in my mind.

5. Of course, I heard that Frankenstein’s monster is a very popular cake design this Halloween.

Okay, what the hell is this? I mean that doesn’t look like Frankenstein’s monster. He does not have a head shaped like that or teeth going sideways.

6. Well, at least this Frankenstein monster cake has a face, save for maybe the nose.

That’s a nose? Really, that looks like something that belongs between Frankenstein’s legs than his eyes. Seriously, who decorates noses like that? That’s crazy.

7. Hop aboard the Rest in Peace Bus, we give free rides!

What’s with the green fingers hanging from the trunk? That makes no goddamn sense for some reason.

8. Of course, bats always carry a rather scary feature on any Halloween cake, especially in groups.

For the love of God, those don’t look like bats. They might as well be birds for crying out loud. Can’t the cake decorator know the difference?

9. Cake not scary enough? Put a spider on it.

Sorry, but I don’t think a spider is helping in this situation, especially if it looks like a cute little fur ball. This cake is lame.

10. Hope your Halloween party is a blast with this vampire Elvis cake.

From Cake Wrecks: “I vant choo to stay off of my blue svade shoos! Muah! Ah! Ah!” Yeah, not very intimidating at all.

11. Not surprisingly, pumpkins are another popular cake subject for Halloween.

And this one just happens to remind me of Edvard Munch’s The Scream for some reason. Also, its nose is too close to its mouth.

12. On any monstrous Halloween cake, you can’t have too many eyeballs.

From Cake Wrecks: “I was looking at a mud puddle, and it spoke to me, and it said, ‘Give me the face of a hippie, man. Plus a crap ton of edible glitter and plastic eyeballs.’ So I did.” Couldn’t say it better myself.

13. Of course, adding blood can makes things all the more scarier.

Now what is this? Ghost? Skeleton? Something from a horror movie? A bad attempt at drawing anything worth freaking people out? You decide.

14. Beware of the pink plastic footed purple brick monster!

From Cake Wrecks: “What’s got four plastic feet, plastic eyes, a plastic hat, and vaguely disconcerting icing “hair” sprouting out of a purple brick? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS THIS.” Me neither. Nor do I want to know.

15. When doing a vampire cake, make sure it looks like one that could suck your blood.

However, this isn’t how you should do a vampire cake for Halloween. This vampire looks like he’s an embarrassing love child of the Count from Sesame Street. Seriously, it’s too cute.

16. All right, if you can’t choose between ghost and jack o’lantern, we could just mesh them together. Nobody will notice.

Actually they will. I mean that doesn’t look like any pumpkin I’ve seen in my life. Now it just seems to resemble a really misshapen pumpkin for almost no reason at all.

17. Always try to give your monster cake a scary face if you could.

Now that’s a face that could haunt anyone’s nightmares. But not necessarily for the right reasons though. Still, don’t what the hell this thing is supposed to be. And that’s pretty scary.

18. Beware the dreaded pod baby if you dare.

Now what the hell does this have to do with Halloween? Other than the fangs, I don’t see any point. Also, this is just so weird looking for some reason.

19. Sometimes it’s best to go simple such as a moon and night sky.

That does not look like a moon in the night sky. That looks like a banana shooting laser beams. Doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

20. If you want a simple cake design this Halloween, go with a ghost.

This is not a ghost. This is a roll of darkened toilet paper with arms and eyes. And now, it’s angry.

21. Remember, that yellow eyes can make a ghost look even scarier, especially semicircular ones.

From Cake Wrecks: “I am not ‘pretty,’ I AM THE TERRIFYING TP! Here to WIPE you out! Mwuah-ha-haaawhy are you laughing?” Yeah, that does look like a really scary roll of toilet paper. Not.

22. Nothing is scarier on Halloween than a giant green monster.

From Cake Wrecks: “Next we have an ice cream swirl wearing a traffic cone about to be impaled by a trident. Because if THAT doesn’t say “Happy Halloween”… then don’t worry ‘cuz the board does.” Yeah, kind of looks like that. Also reminds me a bit of the Pirate Parrot for some reason. Not sure why.

23. Nothing is scarier in a modern home than a possessed stove burner.

You know the kind of burners that spontaneously set fire to whole kitchens without any alert from the smoke detector. Yeah, haunted appliances are so in right now.

24. Nothing captures the spirit of Halloween more than a cake of mummified, misshapen candy corn?

Oh, my God. For one, nobody likes candy corn, let alone with a smiley face. Second, it’s even more stupid that it’s made to look like a mummy.

25. When it comes to making you gag this Halloween season, maggots can’t be beat.

Now I know that there’s a lot of gross stuff associated with Halloween. But I think maggot cakes would just make me either throw up or lose my appetite.

26. Want a creepy cake? Go with a green spider.

Yes, it has 8 legs and fangs. But it doesn’t seem creepy or scary for some reason. In fact, it looks pretty lame if I do say so myself.

27. When doing a circular cake, always stick with a pumpkin.

That’s not a pumpkin. That’s an orange baseball with eyes after a dog has just taken a crap on it. What it has to do with Halloween, I have no idea.

28. Summon your dead ancestors to your Halloween party with this Oujia board cake.

Now that’s the worst spelling of Ouijia I’ve ever seen. Seriously, where’s a dictionary when you need it. Could see that the decorator really needed help with this one.

29. Of course, ghosts cakes can have virtually any shape.

Since when does toilet paper ever get angry? I thought being an ass wipe was the gist of its existence.

30. When you don’t have a Halloween monster in mind, you can always design your own.

Now this is what you get when you cross Princess Leia, Dracula, a Sesame Street muppet and Bride of Frankenstein. Yeah, not very scary if you ask me.

31. Nothing makes a Halloween cake like having creepy crawlies on it.

Now I can understand why you have the spider and web. But why ants? Seriously, ants aren’t scary unless they’re as big as Godzilla like in Them! Besides, there are plenty of more suitable insects out there to give people the heebie jeebies. Ants aren’t among them.

32. Happy Halloween from your colorful spermie friends?

Once again, ghosts shouldn’t be decorated to look like sperm for God’s sake. Second, what the hell do these colorful sperm have to do with Halloween?

33. Any cake can be a Halloween cake, you just have to add ghosts and pumpkins to it.

Let’s just say when it comes to pop culture, a Spongebob Squarepants cake really doesn’t make a great backdrop. In fact, it looks absolutely stupid.

34. Of course, getting ghosts wrong can really lead to some awkward situation.

From Cake Wrecks: “WHAT in the name of sweet Lassie is that spider doing?!?” Was going to ask the same question myself. Okay, I don’t want to know.

35. Don’t have an idea for a Halloween cake? Just add some candy corn.

Candy Corn: the least popular thing associated with Halloween. It’s basically inedible sugar wax. But it’s so easy, anyone can do it.

36. You can turn any cake into a Halloween one if you just add a plastic spider.

Before the spider was added, it was originally a birthday present cake. Now it’s bound to freak you out now. Yeah, spine-chilling.

37. “Have a nice day,” from your local smiley face vampire.

Now this is just wrong. I mean really wrong. Seriously, you can add fangs to a smiley face but it would never look appropriate for Halloween. Sorry, but this is just so ridiculous.

38. Need a Halloween cake fast. No problem, just stick an eyeball on a dog cake. Now it’s an eyeball monster.

Now that just doesn’t look right for some reason. I mean it more or less resembles a dog with a freaking eyeball. More awkward than scary, don’t you agree.

39. Uh, a jack o’lantern cake is supposed to have eyes, right?

Let’s just say I don’t think a blind jack o’lantern really gives into the Halloween spirit. Seriously, that just looks like something is missing.

40. Need to sell a dog cake on Halloween? Make it into a zombie dog.

Oh, that is just doggone awful. You can make it green and add patches, but you can’t make this dog even remotely scary.

Halloween Party Tricks or Treats (But Mostly Treats, Sort of) (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on October 12, 2015

Last year, I compiled my post for Halloween treats on my mother’s recommendation that I do a post on disgusting Halloween food. It was supposed to be a one time thing but it got a lot of views. However, I was soon bored out of my mind in mid-November that I decided to do a treat post on Thanksgiving as well. And it sort of became a thing for the major holidays plus the Super Bowl. Now since Halloween is coming once more,I was sort of on the fence this year on doing another one since I’ve already done a treat post before. However, since I find that people still enjoy last year’s post on Halloween treats, I decided to do another due to popular demand. Besides, I’ve done second edition posts for vintage Valentines for Valentines Day and peep dioramas for Easter. And I know my readers like that. Not to mention, Halloween is one of my Big Four holidays along with Christmas, Valentines Day, and Easter so the more Halloween blog posts the better. Also, I started selling ad space for sponsors since May and my recent Halloween posts haven’t done as well as I thought they would at this time. So for those who love Halloween, you might be happy to know that I’ve managed to find plenty of disgusting treats for your parties and platters. So without further adieu, help yourself to some more Halloween treats at your disposal.

A spiderweb cake is guaranteed to make a devilish dessert.

Now this looks quite intricate for a pastry. I sure couldn’t draw a better spiderweb than that, especially in pastry form.

2. Treat yourself this Halloween to a chocolate cauldron pudding cup.

In this, the cauldron is made from chocolate. And the pudding is green with sprinkles on it. Still, I think this might be store bought from the looks of it.

3. Of course, there are no monsters like cheese monsters.

Now this is from a kind of cheese that comes from a red shell. Don’t really know the name of it. However, they are quite adorable and kid friendly.

4. Treat your guests at your Halloween party to some broken shard cupcakes.

Don’t worry the glass shards are sugar pieces. Trust me. Still, might be bad for diabetics and people who are squeamish around blood or open wounds.

5. Go batty this Halloween with these Itty-Bitty Bat cupcakes.

Now they might not be scary since they look like Sesame Street characters. But they’re sure cute and the kids will love them.

6. I’m sure Halloween guests will love these brownie bites.

And yes, they’re literally brownie bites. Just look at their monstrous jobs. Still, more adorable than scary.

7. Nothing makes a more fitting Halloween dish than long bread mummy pizza.

Now I did mummy pizza before in last year’s post. But they were more personal types. This one is for long loaves of bread.

8. Snake bread sticks make a great side dish for your Halloween meal.

Of course, they’re covered on skewers for form. But I’m sure they’re more tasty that you’d probably get at the Olive Garden.

9. Deviled spider eggs always make great Halloween appetizers.

Now these spiders are made of olives. But I’m sure they’re guaranteed to creep some of your guests out.

10. For your Halloween party guests, don’t forget to stock up on jello shots.

And on Halloween, you can expect your jello shots served in plastic toy hypodermic needles like these. Ask you host if they contain alcohol if you’re a parent, designated driver, pregnant, on the Twelve Step, or under 21.

11. Treat your Halloween party guests to these witch hat cupcakes.

The hats themselves are made from black ice cream cones. Still, they’re quite clever from my standpoint.

12. Nothing makes a great Halloween party appetizer than mummified peppers with cheese.

These might be jalapeno but I’m not sure. If they are, then these mummies would certainly be spicy indeed.

13. Freak out your Halloween party guests by serving these blood spattered sugar cookies.

Now these are really disgusting. But don’t worry, it’s just red icing. Still, at least these cookies would be very easy to decorate.

14. Grace your Halloween party dessert platter with this witch’s cauldron cake.

Sure it’s filled with eyeballs and bones galore. However, what’s deserving about this one is that the frog looks very much alive in there.

15. For a biohazardous dessert, you might want to go with urine sample jello cups.

Not sure if these are jello shots or not. If so, then they probably contain alcohol so aren’t suitable for minors. Still pretty disgusting and vomit inducing by sight. I mean that’s supposed to look like pee for God’s sake. Also, don’t use actual pee.

16. Nothing makes a great Halloween snack than Monster Eyeball pretzels.

Now these are quite disgusting and are sure to gross out some trick or treaters. But they seem quite easy to make compared to some of the others on here.

17. Make your Halloween party a graveyard smash with this bloody cleaver cake.

Yes, this is a bloody cleaver cake. Yes, it’s quite graphic. But still, you have to give the baker credit for this.

18. Serve dinner this Halloween with these bone buns.

Of course, they might look like dog bones. But you got to love these. You can even dip them in sauce if you want.

19. Start your Halloween right with these eyeball donuts.

Let’s hope they don’t freak out your boss if you bring these to work. Still, it’s a great way to use lifesavers and other gummy candies.

20. For your dessert platter, why not go with some voodoo doll sugar cookies?

Like gingerbread men Christmas cookies, you can customize them any way you want. And they can be quite amusing, too. Like the one under wraps.

21. For appetizers, you can’t do better than serving graveyard nachos and dip.

Now I’m sure the dip is under the olives and lettuce. Still, I have to admire how this person used the tortilla chips for the gravestones, tree, and cat. Not as messy as the one I showed in last year’s post since it’s in a pan.

22. Make your Halloween party spooky fun with this one-of-a-kind haunted house cake.

I don’t know about you, but this cake seems to have used a lot of brownies. Then again, it really works.

23. If you think a haunted house cake is too complicated, then by no means go with an x-ray cake.

Seems like this person’s heart is too small. By how many sizes, I’m not sure. But I really want to avoid referencing the Grinch at this point. I mean it’s way too early to think about Christmas right now.

24. Of course, you’ve seen me post pictures of mummy pizzas. But have you heard of Frankenpizza?

Now this is awesome. You have to admire how they made it green as well as used veggies and pepperoni for the facial attributes.

25. If you’re thinking about a spooky dessert, you can’t go wrong with zombie trifle.

Not sure if you can eat the body parts in this. But you have to admit, though disgusting, it’s very Halloween appropriate.

26. For those who prefer sophisticated Halloween parties, why not go with a shrimp cocktail brain?

Now that looks so disgusting that it’s bound to gross out some party guests. Still, shrimp seem to make rather convincing brain matter for some reason.

27. If you prefer healthy snacks, you might want to go with oranges and bananas.

And by that I mean banana ghosts and orange pumpkins. Or pumpkins made from oranges. Seems like the first healthy treat on this post.

28. Nothing makes a better Halloween party than a dish of spider infested tacos.

Don’t worry, the spiders are olives. Still, I recommend you serve one of these to the party guest dressed as Donald Trump. Or Donald Trump himself for that matter.

29. Nothing makes a Halloween party a graveyard smash than brain cake.

And look, you can even cut it with a knife. Still, I’m not sure if that’s an actual knife by the way. However, quite disgusting.

30. If you like jack o’lanterns and healthy appetizers, then these jack o’lantern rice balls are for you.

Now these might not be the scariest treats out there. But they’re simply adorable. And I’m sure your kids would love them.

31. It may be too early for Christmas. But that doesn’t mean it’s too early for gingerbread men if you put fangs on them.

Now I have to admit, vampire gingerbread men is a fantastic idea. Just love the fangs on these. Whoever came up with this idea is a genius.

32. If you don’t think blood spatter sugar cookies aren’t disgusting enough, may I suggest brain cookies?

You use nuts for the brains as you see here. But yes, they’re not for the faint hearted on a full stomach.

33. Seems like a vampire has bit into this bloody cupcake.

Now this looks quite doable. Just ice a cupcake, poke two holes, and add some red filling for blood.

34. Nothing makes a great Halloween party into a real monster mash than a Bride of Frankenstein chips and dip tray.

Now the dip is her face and consists of mostly guacamole. And her hair is mostly made from blue and regular tortilla chips. Still, very clever.

35. For Halloween hotdogs buns and wraps, you might want to consider the zombie option.

Well, they’re said to be zombies according to Pinterest. And they certainly have dead eyes. But I kind of liken them to undead mollusks myself.

36. You’ve heard of brownies. But have you ever heard of a Frankenbrownie?

Now this is pretty clever. Love how they used chocolate bits for the brow, mouth, and bolts.

37. Yes, it’s too early for Christmas. But I’m sure it’s not too early to build a gingerbread house as long as it’s haunted.

Now this is great but I’m not sure if anyone would want to eat it. Seriously, you wouldn’t want to eat anything with that much candy corn.

38. Nothing makes a scary Halloween party more worthwhile than these skeleton cupcakes.

The skeletons are mostly made from marshmallow and are only down to the waist. Nevertheless, they’re quite cute to say the least.

39. Ghostly pretzel sticks always make for a tasty treat.

Either these are covered in white icing or white chocolate. Still, they look quite easy to make and don’t frighten the kids.

40. For Halloween parties, you can’t go wrong with mini monster cheese balls.

Sure they may not be scary or disgusting. But they’re very adorable and kid friendly to say the least.

41. How about a ghostly marshmallow in your hot chocolate?

All you have to do is just put a face on the marshmallow. And you can put it in the fondue all you want.

42. For a healthy snack, why not go for an orange under wraps.

I’m sure the only edible part about this treat is the orange. The wraps look like they’re made from toilet paper or party streamers.

43. If you want to serve healthier sides, you might want to go jack o’lantern sweet potato fries.

Of course, since sweet potatoes are orange on the outside, you have to make jack o’lanterns out of the slices. Still, quite cute and clever.

44. Serve up your guests this Halloween with these pumpkin patch cupcakes.

As to how this person obtained bundt cupcake molds, I have no idea. Still, comes with some vine and color icing. But not too much.

45. Gross out your Halloween party guests with this zombie cookie dip.

Again, not sure if the body parts are edible in this. And yes, it looks quite disgusting. Not sure if I want to dip cookies in this, which will probably be bones.

46. I may be wrong but you can’t give no bones about cookie bones.

Yes, I had some cookie bones on last year’s post but they were covered in white icing. These are not. Then again, real bones aren’t really pure white are they?

47. If you want your dessert platter to be a success, you might want to make some mummy cookies.

Because we all know that everyone wants mummy cookies at their Halloween party. Not sure how to make these though.

48. May your Halloween pasta salad include jack o’lantern zucchini slices and purple noodles.

Of course, I’m not sure if most people can master the jack o’lantern zucchini slices. You might want to get something for that.

49. Halloween parties are always a graveyard smash with graveyard pudding.

Now this is just dead clever. Love the cookie graves. Not sure about the candy corn pumpkins though.

50. For a bewitching good time, cauldron cupcakes will certainly do.

Now that’s an ingenious use for a Rees’ peanut butter cup. Like the yellow icing flames, too.

51. You can make almost anything spooky with Oreos.

Now these consist of a bat, octopus, and spider. All of which are covered in chocolate. Still more adorable than scary.

52. Your guests might see these vampire cookies as real bloody good.

I think these might require those peanut cookies you might get at the grocery store. Wonder what they used for the red cape.

53. I’m certain kids will surely enjoy a ghostly peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

You can just use the eyes for raisins. But make sure to use white bread this time because you know, ghosts are typically seen as white.

54. A Ouijia board is bound to help you communicate with the dead.

Pinterest says it’s a cookie but I think it’s a cake. It’s just that it’s fairly detailed in the icing contents. But your dead ancestors are bound to love it.

55. Of course, you can’t start a Halloween party without a Frankenstein Monster cheese ball.

Well, at least that’s a more original choice than a skull or pumpkin one. Yes, the cheese is green. But still, I think it’s clever.

56. These witchy marshmallows will sure make a real trick or treat.

Amazing what you can do with marshmallows and candies. More adorable than scary. But then again, kids will love these.

57. Encourage scary health habits with these jack o’lantern salad cups.

Now I wonder how this person managed to get the orange out of the peels like that. I mean it must be a very difficult process.

58. Nothing makes Halloween parties a monster blast than jack o’lantern stuffed bell peppers.

If you want some added grossness, you might want to add pasta instead of ground beef and rice. Still, this is adorable.

59. You can never put too many eyes on a monster cookie.

And I guess someone must’ve used a lot of white M&Ms for this. Well, at least that’s my impression.

60. Make your Halloween party bewitching good fun with these cauldron cake pops.

Have to put in some Halloween cake pops sometime. Also, do candy bones really come in so many different colors. And so bright?

61. For your Halloween lunch, be sure to treat your kids to a jack o’lantern grilled cheese sandwich.

Seems like this grilled cheese sandwich isn't too happy being on the skillet. Just wait until it goes on the plate.

Seems like this grilled cheese sandwich isn’t too happy being on the skillet. Just wait when it goes on the plate.

62. Treat yourself this Halloween to some ghost and spider pizza.

Now the ghosts are made of cheese and the spiders are made of olives. Still, quite ingenious if I do say so myself.

63. These spider cookies will surely creep your arachnaphobic guests out.

For some reason, Halloween isn’t really a good time for people who are afraid of spiders. I wonder why.

64. For your ghoulish main course on Halloween dinner, why don’t you go with mummy meatloaf?

Now you don’t see the mummy here because it’s all under pasta wraps. Still, I have to admire the ingenuity in this culinary creation.

65. For your dessert, there’s always something brewing with this wtiches’ cauldron pudding.

And it seems like there are lots of sugary body parts in this, too. Wonder if the cauldrons themselves are edible. Probably not.

66. Usher in the spirit of Halloween with these candy corn Rice Krispie treats on a stick.

Let’s hope they taste like Rice Krispies, marshmallow, and icing they’re made from and not real candy corn. Honestly, candy corn is disgusting.

67. Of course, it’s said the pumpkin puke makes a fine salad.

Hey, I didn’t know that pumpkin vomit was green. Always thought it would be orange. I mean pumpkins are orange and have orange insides.

68. Of course, you can’t have a Halloween party without graveyard pudding cups.

The ghosts are of the sugary marshmallow stuff associated with peeps. The pumpkins are candy corn. But I’m sure the chocolate pudding is edible and tasty, too.

69. Meatball mummies go great with almost any dish beyond the grave.

Now this consists of ground beef covered in pasta. Cute and adorable but very clever.

70. Nothing makes a better trick or treat than a popcorn hand.

Now this is perhaps one the few Halloween treats on here that I’ve been familiar with as a kid. The candy corn are the nails while the popcorn is everything else. And it’s all held up in a plastic, disposable glove.

71. Nothing makes a better Halloween dessert than a worm infested jello brain.

Yes, it’s disgusting but at least you can add the gummy worms after making the jello brain. Now as how to get a jello brain mold, you might need to visit Amazon.

72. Dip some bread into some cheesy brains.

Yes, I do admit brains are gross. But Halloween decorations are meant to be this way. Still, love how they stuck a knife into it.

73. Jack o’ lantern taco hummus dip is sure to give some scary Halloween flavor.

This looks quite adorable if I do say so myself. Not sure about the layers. But the top consists of shredded cheddar, olives, and blue tortilla chips.

74. When it comes to bewitching fun on Halloween, you can’t go wrong with broom cookies.

Now these appear to have pretzels, chocolate icing, cookies, and not sure what the stringy part is there. Still, these are quite clever and cute.

75. Of course, it wouldn’t be Halloween without any bones and blood.

As to whether this is supposed to be an appetizer or dessert, you can’t easily tell by the picture. Nevertheless, it’s quite disturbing if you get my drift.

76. How about some eyeballs in your taco salad?

Hope two is enough for you? Still, it might look like your salad is staring at you for awhile. It might seem creepy to some.

77. Eeek! My taco is staring at me!

Of course, you might need to use meatballs for these tacos. Still, despite creepiness, this seems like an awesome idea.

78. As we all know, you can’t have Halloween without some jack o’lantern cake pops.

Of course, since jack o’lanterns are such iconic symbols of Halloween, I had to include cake pops of these. Nevertheless, so cute.

79. Of course, anybody’s jello can use a few eyeballs.

Not sure how the eyeballs are made here. However, it is fairly disgusting enough to be a hit at any Halloween party.

80. I can assure you that these Eye of Newt Preztels will be all the Halloween monster rage this year.

Now these are quite charming despite having all kinds of eyeballs. Still, you have to hand it to some people in terms of culinary creativity.

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The Lone Girl in a Crowd

The thoughts and perceptions of an aspiring writer on life and the world around her

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