Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree at the Ugly Sweater Party (Second Edition)

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Since my post on ugly Christmas sweaters garnered so much popularity last year and this year, I decided to go with another edition. Now this is me near the basement fireplace at my house with two Christmas stockings at hand. Here I am wearing a cute penguin fleece that says “Let It Snow!” which isn’t exactly ugly, a sweater, or even specifically for Christmas. But if I was invited to an ugly Christmas sweater party, it would be the kind of top I’d wear. But let’s just say I wouldn’t be the star attraction. That would take extra time and/or money for that, neither of which I have. So that means I’d just have to stick to being tasteful and cute. But plenty of people seem to as I’ve found on Google Images or Pinterest. And yes, the vast boundaries of tackiness are infinite which is why I made this and last year’s ugly Christmas sweater posts not safe for work. And some you have to wonder whether there are kids who’d be seeing such fashion atrocities. So without further adieu, I present some more moments of yuletide tackiness in all its Christmas glory.

  1. To start things off, best to warn your loved ones not to stick their tongues out on metal in below freezing weather, even on a triple dog dare.
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Yeah, that was very dumb but a very funny moment in the movie. But if I was that kid, I’d have the common sense not to bow to peer pressure.

2. On Christmas Eve, get tacky together with these footie pajamas.

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Now this brings yuletide fashion horrors to the next level. But they sure do look comfy if you ask me. Wouldn’t want to be caught dead in them though.

3. I’m sure garlands and bulbs are bound to make anything look festive.

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Now I wonder if this was made for a man or a woman. Probably a woman by the looks of it. I think the bulbs make it obvious.

4. Think wearing a Christmas tree is hard? Try wearing a fireplace.

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Now I wonder if she has to stand like that all the time so all the stuff on her arms doesn’t fall off. Yeah, I think after a while, it’s bound to get pretty uncomfortable.

5. Of course, in any ugly Christmas party, children are usually required to get with the program.

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I’m sure this little girl isn’t very happy with what she had to wear at her grandmother’s house. Yes, her mom worked so hard on it. But still, would you want to be seen in that?

6. Styrofoam and cotton balls are always great for snow.

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However, I don’t know whether Frosty’s chest should be bigger than his rear end. You have to wonder whether he’s on some performance enhancement snow steroids to get a body like that.

7. When it comes to Christmas, you can’t go wrong with a tutu and green tights.

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Now she’s certainly tacky in her gay apparel. And she’s gloating in it for the picture. Like the tinsel neckline and Christmas tree.

8. As far as couples go, she’s the elf and he’s the shelf.

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And since she’s the elf, she has to be on his shoulders. Of course, he’ll have to take her down once in a while. Yeah, 100 pounds isn’t light as a feather.

9. Instead of wearing a Christmas sweater, perhaps try on a Christmas skirt.

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I could imagine an elementary teacher wearing something like this on the day before school will be out for break. Still, it’s horrendously festive for the occasion.

10. Bundle up this holiday season with your very own Christmas tree hat and scarf.

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Now this is the kind of winter gear you’d see at Whoville this time of year. Yes, it’s festive and Christmas appropriate. But would anyone want to be caught dead in that? I doubt it.

11. Of course, some guys see themselves this all the time.

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Yes, his shirt may say he’s God’s gift to women. But does it mean he really is? You might want to check that out for yourself.

12. Nothing says Christmas than wearing a yarn Christmas wreath and a headband of Christmas tree antlers.

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Not sure if that wreath was sewn in or not. I’m sure the shirt is a turtleneck, but the wreath looks like it’s hanging like a necklace.

13. Bring some winter into the Christmas season with this bright blue cardigan of a polar bear skiing.

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Now this is more of a winter sweater than a Christmas one. And no, polar bears don’t bundle up or ski. But still, it’s pretty funny. And yes, this is a very tacky sweater.

14. As far as the Christmas season goes, it’s jingle bells and feel the joy.

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However, if your ugly sweater party includes children, it’s better if you don’t wear sweaters like these. Yeah, you’ll probably get complaints from the parents.

15. Now this guy is sure decked up like a Christmas tree.

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Now all he needs is a skirt and hat to go with that and he’s all set. Then again, he might want to just stick with the sweater.

16. If you love Frosty the Snowman, then you’ll love this dress.

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Of course, not sure if she’ll be warm in the legs. Yeah, maybe she should get some white leg warmers with that.

17. Apparently someone doesn’t care much for fruitcake.

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Seems like fruitcake is either the Christmas food people don’t like or the one they eat when consuming lots of booze. Well, that’s as far as I know about it.

18. You aren’t dressed for Christmas until you wear a Santa penguin vest.

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Geographically speaking, Santa lives nowhere near penguins. However, this outfit is pretty horrific on so many levels. The penguins are cute though.

19. Of course, it’s not just humans who bask in the horrendous holiday fashion scene.

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I don’t think Scruffy appreciates wearing a tacky sweater of a Christmas tree. Doesn’t want to be the laughingstock of the dog park. But his owners think it’s adorable.

20. Trim your ugly Christmas sweater this year with a red feather boa.

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Yes, feather boas always seem to make everything look tackier. And this is no exception.

21. Bring in the spirit of the season in all its glory with this Christmas tutu.

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Now this one has ornaments and lights on it. So you can be a horrendously tacky Christmas ballerina if you please.

22. Rock this holiday season in your very own Frosty the Snowman hat.

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Now a top hat over a top hat. Wonder if it doesn’t hit the door when he goes out of the bathroom. Yeah, I’d watch it if I were him.

23. To go with your Christmas sweater this year, how about go with holiday hair.

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I’m sure Effie Trinket has a wig just like this for the holiday season. Then again, I’m not sure they even celebrate Christmas in Panem. It’s certainly not mentioned.

24. Of course, it’s always Mrs. Claus who deals with Santa when he’s being naughty.

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If you like Christmas and Fifty Shades of Grey, then this is the perfect sweater for you. However, I think dominatrix Mrs. Claus might be too inappropriate for small children.

25. Now that is one ugly ass Christmas sweater.

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Even the sweater itself says this. And it even lights up. Still, I think parents of small children might have a problem with this. Just saying.

26. For footwear, it helps that your slippers are covered in bows.

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Of course, bows like these usually have a decorative purpose only. But these shoes are sure festive at any holiday party.

27. For some you can’t say Christmas without including Sasquatch.

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Yes, this is a Bigfoot Christmas sweater. No, I’m not sure if Bigfoot actually wears this (if he exists). But yes, it’s ridiculous.

28. Now I see why they call them, “ginger snaps.”

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Seems like 2 gingerbread men got themselves decapitated. And I’m sure they aren’t going to like being dipped in milk.

29. Now you’ve heard of a Santa sweater. How about Santa on your sweater?

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Okay, this Santa is pretty creepy to say the least. Also, he doesn’t even have a beard for Christ’s sake! Now that’s just holiday sacrilege.

30. This Christmas step out in your very own Reindeer stilettos.

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You know if you want to wear ugly Christmas shoes, be my guest. However, I think you should at least aim for comfort and support. These are ridiculous.

31. If you and your friends are stuck in the frat house this Christmas, make sure your Christmas sweater comes with a funnel and tube.

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Really? A funnel and tube with your Christmas sweater? And it doesn’t have sleeves? Guess that’s for the eggnog drinking contest.

32. Uh, Santa, I think you can use a shirt and some pants.

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Well, at least this image of Santa was done in felt. Still, it’s pretty disturbing if you think about it. Seriously, nobody wants to see a naked Santa Claus.

33. Of course, if you don’t think it’s tacky enough, you can always add on to it.

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Apparently somebody has been spending too much time at the sewing machine. But yeah, it looks like a really horrendous patchwork sewing job.

34. I call this one a, “Gropey Grinchmas Sweater.”

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Because it looks like a woman’s sweater and it has Grinchy hands at the boob area. Yeah, Grinch is a perv.

35. Now this Santa sweater is sure to light up by the flick of a switch.

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Is it just me, or does this jolly old Saint Nicholas look like he’s from the dark depths of Hell? I don’t know, he just kind of looks evil for some reason.

36. Stand out at Christmas with this tinsel and jingle neck tie.

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Now that has to be the tackiest Christmas neck tie I’ve ever seen. Seriously, it makes those you see in the store look tame by comparison.

37. Of course, you’ll have to look in back to see if it’s a buck.

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Yep, that’s a buck all right as far as I can tell. Now that’s just sick. Really sick. But I’m sure deer hunters will get a kick out of it.

38. If you liked the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer special, then you’ll like this Abominable Snowman sweater with lights.

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Now I find this Abominable Snowman quite adorable to day the least. And I like the lights. But yeah, it’s pretty tacky.

39. For your legs, may I suggest a pair of ugly Christmas leggings?

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Of course, they might just be tights or sweat pants for all I know. But yes, they’re very horrendous and tacky indeed.

40. Nevertheless, there could be only one snowman out there who could make Christmas great again (sarcasm).

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Trumpy the Snowman, is a bonafide asshole/With hate-filled mouth and a large ego, and a toupee of orange mole./Trumpy the Snowman, is a stupid joke they say/ He is full of blow but hell if I know why can’t he just go away.

41. Of course, you can now wear a Christmas sweater that was inspired from the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

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However, unlike the one the Grinch wears in the movie, this one doesn’t light up. But it does jingle and jangle.

42. Like poinsettias? Now these slippers are for you.

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Now these have green garlands, gold baubles, and red poinsettias. And yes, they sure look horrific as can be.

43. If you liked The Nightmare Before Christmas, you’ll like this Jack Skellington Christmas sweater.

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And yes, it certainly lights up as you can see. Still, you really don’t want to get a Christmas present from Jack Skellington of Halloween town.

44. Those who might not care for Christmas much will certainly delight in this Grinch hoodie.

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Now this is just clever. Like how his heart is 3 sizes too small. Also like the green garland.

45. Husband not too fond of his Christmas ties? Make a sweater with them.

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Now you can sew on some ties and buttons on this turtleneck and wear it for Christmas. Yes, it’s tacky but tis the season for ugly Christmas sweaters.

46. This Christmas, take out the turkey and make it look festive for the season.

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Now this one has some lights and Santa hats on the legs. Yes, it’s pretty tacky and ridiculous. But I think it’s also pretty funny.

47. If you live in Florida, I’m sure this flamingo cardigan would suit your fancy.

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Then again, Florida isn’t known for having sweater weather. Still, it’s the kind of sweater I’d expect someone from Florida to own. Yes, it’s tacky.

48. If you liked “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” then you’ll like this sweater.

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Yeah, a song about Grandma getting run over by Santa’s sleigh is pretty funny. But a sweater of reindeer running over an old lady in a walker? Don’t know what to think about that.

49. Seems like Zombie Claus tends to rise from his grave with his sack on Christmas Eve.

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Of course, you’d want to watch out for Zombie Claus. Because if you’re a kid who’s been bad, he’ll devour your brains. So be good for goodness sake.

50. Of course, I’m sure everyone has heard of the Christmas llama.

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Yes, it’s just a llama with a scarf on it. But still, llamas are pretty cool animals. And I think it’s pretty funny.

51. Don’t think a Christmas sweater is tacky enough? Then go with a Christmas jumpsuit.

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Now that’s one ugly jumpsuit. Certainly wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing that. Yeah, quite horrendous.

52. Now these Christmas bootie slippers come with all the bows.

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Yeah, someone actually made these from gift bows. And yes, they’re colorful. However, not sure if I could wear them around my house if you ask me.

53. When it comes to decorating Christmas sweaters, you can never have enough bows.

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And this one seems to have a big one and a bunch of little ones. Oh, and it has some other decorations, too.

54. To go with those poinsettia slippers, I now give you a poinsettia sweater.

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Though I love flowers, I’m not sure what to think about the poinsettia. Certainly don’t want to get one. Still, those flowers look like they’ve been stolen from somebody’s grave.

55. Oh, shit, Santa just got stuck in the chimney.

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Of course, since he’s a fat guy in a red suit, you’d have to expect this. Still, would it hurt him to just go through the front door? I mean he obviously wouldn’t like going down to find a blazing hot fire.

56. For some pet owners, a Christmas sweater of their dog says so much.

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I know some people are crazy about their pets. But a pug sweater with a poinsettia and tinsel wreath? C’mon. That’s ridiculous.

57. Those who love polar bears will love this polar bear tree sweater.

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Of course, it’s also available in adult size and for men. But yes, the bears are so cute. And the sweater is so tacky.

58. When it comes to Christmas dresses, you can never have too many ornaments.

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Still, I don’t think it’s a dress you’d want to vacuum in. I mean it’s liable some of the ornaments can drop and break. Also, the noise.

59. Be in the holiday spirit this Christmas with this bauble headband.

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Now this was mostly made of stuff you’d get at a craft store. But it’s a great addition to any tacky Christmas look you’re aiming for.

60. If you want to dress as a Christmas tree, you can’t go wrong with a tutu dress.

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Now these two seem all decked in green tulle and shiny lights. They’re also wearing a star on their heads as well. Yes, it’s horrendous but they seem to enjoy themselves.

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