Tag Archives: Holidays

Ho, Ho, Ho, Holy Shit Vintage Christmas Advertising of Yesterday (Fourth Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Now that Thanksgiving is over, it’s onto the Christmas season. And since it starts on Black Friday, I begin my holiday blog roll with my 4th annual Christmas ad post. Of course, I featured one depicting Santa Claus advertising Coca Cola. Yes, I know he’s not setting a good example since he’s promoting a soft drink that’s responsible for obesity and diabetes. But his association with Coca Cola is so well known that it’s iconic. Though as we’ve all seen, Coca Cola hasn’t been the only company to use Santa Claus to sell their product. In fact, far from it. Nor has Coca Cola been the first company to do so. Nevertheless, you’ll find plenty of ads plastered all over the place for Black Friday sales despite that you’re better off shopping for Christmas gifts in December. So if you have anything better to do, perhaps you might want to look into another installment of these vintage ads. Of course, you might think they’re filled with rosy imagery meant to tingle at your nostalgia. But I usually go for the ones that haven’t aged so well and contain disturbing implications. Whether it’s accidental innuendos, creepy kids, bad health advice, and what not. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of crazy vintage Christmas ads.

  1. Want your Christmas happiness to last year round? Get a View Master.

And somehow Santa looks like he’s creepily enjoying your vacation photos. Face seems to suggest, “Guess little Johnny’s getting clothes for Christmas this year.”

2. Camel and Prince Albert always say “Merry Christmas with every puff.”

Because there’s nothing endearing on Christmas like the gift of lung cancer. Nevertheless, Santa sets a horrible example for children.

3. Always be choosey on Christmas with a new phone.

Though if you give someone a regular phone nowadays, they’d be like “You got to be kidding me.” Because most of us use cell phone now.

4. Nothing beats Christmas like a new Smith Corona typewriter.

And yes, girls go really crazy about this typewriter. Though seeing the girl’s face in the front might freak you out.

5. Reynolds aluminum wrapping paper is pure Christmas magic.

The wife’s all over how the gifts shine and sparkle under the Christmas tree. And the husband’s like, “Looks like I’m getting laid tonight.”

6. This year, make your Christmas an Avon Christmas.

Yet, the girl doesn’t really seem very enthusiastic about the make up display. In some way, she kind of illustrates how many women feel when receiving stuff like this.

7. With a Singer, you give a woman the gift of sewing.

Well, a gift in which she can sew your pants with. Still, not a fan of promoting female domesticity which seems to seep in these ads.

8. “Jackie Gleason Originals made by Manhattan make dan-dan-dandy gifts.”

Now I see why Jackie Gleason didn’t appear on his own Christmas album. Still, that fancy shirt is utterly tacky.

9. Play safe with Thermo anti-freeze.

Though why use a snowman to advertise a product to keep cars from freezing is beyond me. I mean we all know what anti-freeze is.

10. Spring Maid fabrics are always durable on ice.

But it seems like Amy should’ve worn snow pants since she suffered a major wardrobe malfunction while skating. Though the two guys on the bench certainly didn’t mind.

11. Nothing makes a boy happy on Christmas like his own Texaco truck.

However, leave him alone and he will use it to make you fall on your head. So you might want to avoid him like the plague.

12. L&M give a lot for your man on Christmas.

Yet, he likes his smokes as he plays with his toy trains. Meanwhile his wife smiles upon him just before she has to scramble into the kitchen to make a dish for Christmas dinner at his parents. But don’t worry, tobacco kills 1/3 of its users anyway.

13. Buy boxes of Spearmint for Santa to take round.

Though there’s something unsettling about this cartoon Santa. The mustache seems unusually shifty.

14. Need gift ideas for the holidays? How about a pair of inter-woven socks?

Didn’t think Santa could appear frightening in the moonlight. Also, not a lot of people want socks for Christmas.

15. Kuppenheimer always has good clothes for you and your family for Christmas.

Yet, I’m not sure who’s scarier in this one: Santa or the guy with the gifts who looks like the neighborhood psychokiller. Then again, Santa might want to watch his back.

16. Your son would adore his own Filmo camera on Christmas.

“Gee, now I can make my own pornos like Daddy. Man, you guys are the best.”

17. For this holiday season, Coca Cola is a taste that refreshes.

Though I’d rather stay clear of his North Pole workshop. Cause those elves certainly induce nightmares.

18. This Christmas, give him a hat.

Unfortunately, in later years fedoras went from distinguished menswear to undignified hipster attire. Kind of sad if you think about it.

19. “Playing Santa this year? Let your fingers do the walking.”

Now that has to be one of the most terrifying hand puppets I’ve ever seen. Then again, it was probably Thing’s turn to play Santa this year for the Addams’ family.

20. Please your woman this year by giving her a Sheaffer Stylist set.

A pen set? Seriously, that’s what you get a co-worker for Secret Santa. I mean it’s a gift that says, “I didn’t know what to give you for Christmas this year. And I’m too much of an idiot to ask.”

21. Kewpie dolls always make the perfect Christmas gift.

For the love, keep that thing away. I mean it looks like a deranged Casper in a Santa hat. And it doesn’t look friendly.

22. Coca Cola is a gift of good taste.

To be fair, the last house Santa visited had a bottle of Jack Daniels out for him. So don’t be surprise if he crashes into a skyscraper once he reaches Chicago.

23. Four Roses brings a thought for “tomorrow” that’s 2 months away.

Though October is way too early to decorate your Christmas tree. Then again, it’s an outdoor tree but still. Nevertheless, having Christmas ads before Halloween is ridiculous enough.

24. “It wouldn’t be Christmas without Whitman’s.”

Because if you’re both under the mistletoe, a box of chocolates is all you need for the bedroom. I mean we all know what mistletoe means in Christmas ads.

25. “Make your Christmas gift a Tomahawk.”

For there’s nothing like a great Christmas gift like a bladed axe. Other great gift ideas for lumberjacks include, butter scones, flower presses, high heels, suspenders, and a bra.

26. “It’ll be a merrier Christmas with the new Wonder Holiday Tree.”

I guess this is supposed to be a Charlie Brown tree with bells on it. Kind of looks sad if you ask me.

27. Please your loved one this Christmas with decorated Pyrex ware.

Though these casserole dishes seem appropriate for winter. If you want to give a decorated casserole, buy one with motifs good for all year round.

28. Even Santa wants you to buy bonds.

Because if you don’t, then you will not like what Santa will give you for Christmas this year. So buy war bonds as a patriotic duty. Also, why only 2 reindeer?

29. Put your child in the driver’s seat with this Hertz toy car.

Yet, once little Bobby’s in there, he’s sure to run over the cat with it with relish. So you might want to keep an eye on this budding psycho.

30. Santa always gives American toys for American girls and boys.

Don’t look now. But I’m not sure if I like how star-spangled Santa is holding these kids on his lap. Seems fairly sketchy for me.

31. Arthur Godfrey gives his Christmas best with Chesterfields.

Arthur Godfrey was a popular radio and TV personality during the 1950s who was known for his folksy warmth but was volatile and controlling behind the scenes. An on-air incident would later lead to his career decline. Ironically he’d later become an anti-smoking advocate.

32. For Christmas 1972, give yourselves a set of mannequins in your likenesses.

On second thought, don’t. Because that’s just creepy. Seriously, who’d want to have mannequins of themselves?

33. Give her the gift of beauty with Holeproof fine stockings.

And they just had to show her in a transparent robe, lingerie, stockings, and high heels. Definitely not something I’d wear on Christmas morning.

34. Give your son a Red Ryder Saddle Carbine this Christmas.

As you probably know, you’ll shoot your eye out with this BB gun. What? I saw A Christmas Story.

35.  Entertain for hours during the holidays with a Revere projector and camera.

“And this when I chopped up Norman in the woodchipper. Because he was such a pain in the ass who had it coming. Soon as his dog crapped in my yard, I shot that son of a bitch dead.”

36. Keep your clothes clean during the holiday season with Breck detergent.

Still, that doll is guaranteed to kill Brooke Shields in her sleep. How she survived this shoot, I’ll never know.

37. “Can’t beat a Tupperware party for Christmas shopping.”

Though why have Santa in street clothes is beyond me. Also, Tupperware doesn’t exactly make a great gift.

38. When Santa takes a break, he always smokes Murad.

Because let’s just say giving gifts for all those kiddies really gets a lot out of you. Still, Santa isn’t really setting a good example here. More an example for kids to get lung cancer.

39. Frosty the Snowman wants you to give a real conversation for Christmas.

Other than the outdated rotary phones, Frosty seems absolutely terrifying. So you might want to buy one from him or else he’ll make sure you freeze to death.

40. White Owl Cigarettes are the quickest way to a man’s heart.

I don’t know about that. But I know it’s a quick way for a man to get cancer. Still, I don’t think Mrs. Claus will like seeing her husband sharing a smoke with a sexy blonde.

41. No Christmas baked goods should go without Carnation milk.

But poor Susie is such a procrastinator that she had to pull an all nighter to make her brownies. Let’s just say you don’t want to bother her at the office Christmas party.

42. Women always dig men who smoke their pipes with Prince Albert.

So, fellas, I hope all the lifelong heart and respiratory problems is worth it. Because we all know tobacco use doesn’t make you a hit with the ladies once the lung cancer sets in.

43. With Armour Star, you can make delectable appetizers.

On second thought, this looks really disgusting. So thanks but no thanks.

44. This Christmas, you can give her some Pyrex wares for $4.90.

Well, Pyrex does make great glass kitchen ware. But as a gift for her, not so much. Besides, Santa, what about the men who’d want Pyrex stuff?

45. Not sure what she wants for Christmas? Give her some Community spoons.

No, I don’t think women fantasize about spoons for Christmas. In fact, we ladies really don’t think much about them.

46. Ladies, use this little model to let your husband know you want this large store vac for Christmas.

Then again, at least he’ll get a hit. Still, what gets me is, why the hell would anyone want a vacuum for Christmas?

47. Give your wife a Eureka vacuum for Christmas. She’ll certainly love it.

But give me one of these, I will most likely scream. Seriously, I hate these things.

48. Joan Crawford always gives her friends a carton of Lucky Strikes.

And you thought she was terrible to her kids. Now you her giving the gift of lung cancer. Too bad many of her Hollywood friends died from tobacco related ailments.

49. Give your little girl this Cheerful Tearful doll for Christmas this year.

Though this doll is more of a Fearful Tearful doll than anything else. Mostly because she scares the living shit out of me.

50. Without Murad cigarettes what would Christmas be?

I don’t know, healthier? Because cigarettes inflict lifelong health problems and early death.

51. Nothing makes a family Christmas like a new Plymouth.

Yet, that boy seems like he’s utterly insane. Hope he doesn’t try to torture the family dog.

52. Coca Cola is always a refreshing surprise for Santa.

So little Sally just had to walk in when Santa was raiding the fridge. Hope St. Nick gives her what she wants or she’ll call the police for breaking and entering.

53. This Christmas, Santa Claus gives out Old Gold from his sleigh.

Santa, how dare you toss out cartons of cigarettes to all the girls and boys. Have you no shame? Aren’t you worried about the kiddies getting lung cancer?

54. For last minute gifts, you can always go with Four Roses.

For nothing makes the holidays merry like stocking up with booze. Available at your neighborhood liquor store.

55. Listen to your favorite Christmas music with a Telecron Timers clock radio.

Go ahead, listen to these disembodied heads with Santa hats this holiday season. Though if you work in retail, you might as well smash this clock radio with a sledge hammer.

56. Everyone’s eager for Seager’s at the office Christmas party.

Wait a minute? This is a family Christmas party. Well, in that case, the adults will be getting totally wasted. Too bad Aunt Bertha can’t join the fun since she’s the designated driver.

57. Fuel your holiday ride with Ethyl.

This is the oil company that had gasoline that contained tetralead as an “antiknock fluid.” Naturally, that additive resulted in widespread lead pollution along with life-threatening health problems.

58. Czechoslovakia celebrates Christmas with Walker’s Gin.

Sorry, but 1940s Czechoslovakia wasn’t a happy place thanks to WWII and the Iron Curtain Communist takeover. Then again, they’re probably really drunk right now.

59. There’s no better Christmas gift than something from HC Jewelers.

Let’s hope whoever gave this woman this necklace isn’t the old guy. Or if it is, let’s hope he’s her dad.

60. Clear heads choose Calvert Happy Blends for the holidays.

Didn’t know Arctic woodland creatures boozed up during the holidays. Hope those polar bears aren’t drunk on the sleigh.

61. Electric tree lights are always clean, simple, and safe.

Though that kind of electric lighting doesn’t look very safe to me. Still, I guess it’s in the context of the times. Also, that girl looks kind of freaky.

62. Pepsi always refreshes this woman’s slender figure without filling.

Sorry, but she won’t retain her slender figure with a Pepsi. Because soft drinks are notorious for causing diabetes and obesity.

63. This Christmas, give a Browning rifle.

I understand the need to make money. But save the occasional Daisy BB gun, real guns don’t make good Christmas gifts for obvious reasons. They’re not toys. They kill people for God’s sake.

64. Carnation Milk wish you “Peace on Earth” this holiday season.

Because we all know that kids could make lots of noise, am I right? Oh, and here’s a recipe for pudding as the little brats drive you up a wall.

65. Looks like Santa had a shaving mishap at the barber’s shop.

Yeah, seeing Santa without his beard is quite disturbing. Doesn’t look right at all.

66. “Here, kids, enjoy your new puppy I gave you.”

Sorry, but Christmas puppies are never a good idea at all (unless you or your family really want one and chose the dog well in advance). And no, Santa shouldn’t even bring them one for obvious reasons.

67. Santa always enjoys a good smoke with Murad cigarettes.

Yes, kiddies, Santa smokes. Get used to it. And yes, he’s being a terrible role model and doesn’t car if he gets lung cancer.

68. This Christmas, Santa recommends Dewar’s White Label as a Christmas Jubilee Spirit.

Apparently, even Santa likes to stock up on booze for the holidays. Hope he’s not wasted while he’s on his sled. Maybe that explains why he gives some children terrible Christmas presents.

69. This Christmas, put a Ford Pinto under your tree.

Doesn’t the Pinto have a reputation for exploding. So maybe a Pinto under your tree isn’t a good idea.

70.  Santa loves to drink a Falstaff on his Christmas Eve rounds.

No wonder why Santa looks drunk sometimes. Somebody put him on a Twelve Step Program.

Scary and Eerily Affordable DIY Halloween Costume Inspirations (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on
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As a presenter in this year’s Prestigious Film Awards, I present the award for Best Picture. So will it be the Movie Critics Love But Viewers Don’t, The Hit Indie That Should Win But Won’t, The Really Good Film Everyone Likes But Won’t Win, Some Expensive Period Piece That Your Mom Likes, Mediocre Fluff Everyone Seems to Like But You, The Indie Film Nobody Watched, Some War Movie Your Dad Likes, The Artistic Movie Nobody Gets, and Some Expensive Period Piece with Awesome Costumes.

Sure I know I’m a bit late doing a DIY Costume post for this year. But I had a long time trying to decide a costume for myself before settling with Award show presenter. And you can see how I mocked the shit of that construct since I’ve spent some years dissatisfied over Oscar Best Picture Winners. Nevertheless, while buying a Halloween costume at a store might be a quick solution if you need something ready made, the choices might not provide what you have in mind. Particularly if the women’s costumes mostly consist of what a stripper would wear. Though making your own costume might be quite time consuming, but you can always get creative. After all, if you can use stuff at home, the possibilities are endless. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of costumes people have made themselves for Halloween.

  1. A wrap sandwich makes a perfect first Halloween costume for a small baby.

Apparently, this contains bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Like the baby’s little mustache, too.

2. Give a boy a skirt, spear, and cape, and he’ll be ready to join his legion.

Well, at least he’s not a Spartan from 300. On the other hand, Roman soldiers and gladiators didn’t wear T-shirts.

3. The Green Bay Packers have taken the field.

And this boy dressed as the field. Guess he thought wearing a jersey as his favorite player was done to death.

4. Don’t really see how he pull out that rabbit.

Then again, it’s a couple’s costume idea of magician and rabbit. Though at least the woman didn’t dress up as the lovely assistant who gets sawed in half.

5. “So what should I steal today?”

She’s dressed as Carmen San Diego. Sure she may steal the world’s treasures but she taught a generation geography.

6. I’m sure you’ll get a real Hawaiian Punch here.

You see, she’s a hula dancer. He’s a boxer. So that’s how you get Hawaiian Punch. Okay, it’s a pun.

7. You can always recognize Bjork by her swan costume.

Though the Icelandic singer wears all kinds of outlandish outfits. But the swan costume defines her.

8. Seems like this little guy takes eliminating critters seriously.

Actually this is a costume set of an exterminator and a mouse. But you have to like the trap on the wagon.

9. Apparently, it rains wherever this kid goes.

This little girl is a rain cloud. Let’s hope she doesn’t have a thunderstorm this Halloween.

10. This little lady wants you to keep in shape.

Guess she’s supposed to be an aerobics instructor from the 1980s. Also has a little cardboard boom box she uses as a basket.

11. If you loved the 1960s, you might enjoy Sonny and Cher.

Sure they might love each other now. But keep in mind that Sonny wasn’t a very nice guy. And that Cher had a very good reason for dumping his ass.

12. These two seem to be getting on in their golden years.

Okay, they’re not senior citizens. But at least they have a costume you can do within minutes.

13. I don’t think these two are compatible.

If you understand, he’s the 1% who get all the money. She’s the 99% who’s not happy about it.

14. This little girl knows she’s a freaking ray of sunshine.

As you can see, she’s Little Miss Sunshine. Because she has a sun crown and a sun on her dress.

15. Viking families always stay together.

Also they didn’t wear horned helmets. And I guess the baby’s a small dragon.

16. If you like Clash of the Titans, you might want to dress up as Perseus and Medusa.

Unfortunately he’ll be absolutely petrified if he takes a look at her. And if he doesn’t, she’ll lose her head he’ll later use as a weapon.

17. These ladies aren’t shy about cheap wine.

They’re all dressed up as box of wine. Because let’s just say expensive bottled wine is overrated.

18. If you love Twin Peaks, you have to check out this mother and baby costume.

This is the log lady who’s one of the better known characters from that show. And yes, that baby is a log.

19. “I’ll be Bach.”

As in Johann Sebastian Bach, the famous 17th-18th century composer. Or is he supposed to be Sir Isaac Newton who discovered the basic laws of physics? Either way, you have to love the wig made from toilet rolls.

20. Is it somebody’s birthday today?

Well, she’s a 3 tier birthday cake. She’s doused in pink icing with sprinkles all over.

21. How about a nice bubble bath?

She even has a rubber duckie and a shower cap. Also, the bubbles mostly consist of cotton balls.

22. She’s certainly as pretty as a peacock.

Though to be fair, peacocks are guys in the animal world. Nevertheless, love the feather train.

23. Bob Ross debuts his latest masterpiece.

As you see, she’s a picture of a happy little tree. Still, Bob Ross has been dead since the 1990s.

24. This boy is a born Deere.

Well, at least he’s wearing plaid and overalls. Still, love the green thresher.

25. “Steph, you’re the next contestant on The Price Is Right.”

I guess she’ll definitely get that new dinette set. Still, this is a pretty easy costume to do.

26. Hide your pooch when she comes to town.

Still, this is a very convincing Cruella de Vil costume. But if you have 4 legs and a tail, she’ll give you nightmares.

27. For some reason, chicks seem to take to him.

He’s supposed to be a chick magnet. Get it? I mean he has a magnet with chicks on it.

28. Where would kids be without Ms. Frizzle and the Magic School Bus?

This is a couple’s costume. Still, Ms. Frizzle may want her kids to learn science. But safety isn’t her highest priority.

29. You’d almost think this boy was made out of plastic.

If he was smaller, you’d think he’s a real plastic army guy. Wonder how he moves around though.

30. Why play with Play Doh when you can be Play Doh?

And it seems these two won a costume contest. Simple to make yet effective.

31. Check out this iPhone 6.

And yes, he has all the apps. Sure he may not be the latest model. But you’d buy him anyway.

32. Robbing a bank is as easy as taking candy from a baby.

Okay, robbing a bank isn’t easy. But this daddy and baby costume will just steal your heart.

33. You’d certainly flee from this little Jigsaw.

He’s from the popular Saw horror movie franchise. He may be a toddler but he’s menacing on his tricycle.

34. Someone must’ve been through strong winds.

Relax, it’s just a costume. But you have to admire this guy’s windy effort.

35. I’m sure she’s got a pretty head you’d want to mount on your wall.

I know some might see it poor taste. But you have to admire her creativity.

36. Not sure if this little guy is ready for a six pack yet.

This is a mother and baby Jersey Shore. Mother is supposed to be Snookie. Boy is meant to be the Situation, I think.

37. Care for some Pilsbury toaster strudel?

This kid’s dressed in lederhozen. And all for a school Halloween parade.

38. Do you remember the Sony Walkman?

And I suppose his costume is made out of cardboard. Like the headphones though.

39. Ellen Ripley’s had it with chest bursting aliens.

You can guess this is a parent and child costume. And yes, the baby is Ellen Ripley from Alien.

40. If you can’t be 007, how about the next best thing?

Yes, he’s a James Bond Nintendo game. Can you get more awesome than that?

41. In a few decades, we’ll laugh at this awkward picture.

You know Awkward Family Photos? This woman is dressed like one and includes the background.

42. Remember Chat Roulette? Apparently, this guy does.

And you can see why it didn’t catch on. Because men on there often exposed themselves.

43. Not sure if you’d call this girl a happy little tree.

She’s even covered with leaves from her head to her shirt. But at least she’s not decked like Stanford’s mascot.

44. Want to enjoy a jolly holiday with Mary?

Here’s Mary Poppins and Bert. If you love proper singing and penguins waiting on you, these are perfect.

45. “Run, Forrest, run!”

He’s supposed to be Forrest Gump when he’s running around the country. Even has the mud smiley face on his shirt.

46. Firefox embraces the world.

Yes, she’s a web browser. Used to use it but don’t anymore since 2015.

47. Want to hear your fortune?

Very convincing costume if you ask me. But I’m sure you won’t see much insight in her crystal ball.

48. Instead of hastagging your Halloween costume, why not dress as one?

At one point, you wouldn’t see much of her. Now she’s everywhere on the Internet.

49. You’d swear it’s raining cats and dogs.

In her case, you can say literally. Like the plushies on her umbrella.

50. If you have problems with aliens, call these guys.

This one just requires a black suit and tie. And you can customize.

51. You wouldn’t believe what this mime has to tell you.

Though you wouldn’t know since mimes are silent. But watch him feel a wall out of thin air.

52. Many might view her a priceless work of art.

She’s a Monet by the way. And no, she’s not cheap in the least.

53. You’d almost say “oh, dear” or “holy cow” with these two.

These two are pun costumes. Deer can’t do much. But the cow has a halo and wings.

54. On Halloween, this pooch is basically Thanksgiving dinner.

Yes, this retriever’s dressed as roast turkey. Not sure why but I’m not sure if I’d want pet owners getting ideas.

55. This Rosie the Riveter could get the job done.

You’ve seen the WWII poster to call women to work in the factories. Today, Rosie’s a feminist icon.

56. Hope she can put on a show for you.

Though she doesn’t resemble any showgirl from Las Vegas. Still, this is a rather creative costume.

57. You’d find it impossible to leave her part of the universe.

She’s basically the solar system. Those styrofoam balls are the planets and the sun. She has the moon on her headband.

58. Does this taco dog come in a hot or soft shell?

Yes, this another dog costume of food. Though the filling and shell sure suit it find.

59. Here is a self-portrait of a true artist.

This kid is a self-portrait of Vincent Van Gogh. Hope he makes an impression on you.

60. Any kid will feel welcome at camp with these two counselors.

Seems these camp counselor costumes don’t require much. Just shorts, shirt, clipboard, sneakers, and headbands.

61. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Smores.

Parents are graham crackers. Kids are chocolate and marshmallow. Wagon is the fire.

62. Someone wants to take this grouch.

Sure it’s Oscar and the garbage person isn’t a character on Sesame Street. But this is adorable.

63. You’d be impressed by these jellyfish.

These two might look graceful. But their stings will hurt like hell and possibly kill you.

64. “Hello, this is Jake from State Farm.”

And he’s wearing khakis. Nevertheless, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

65. Bet you’ve never seen a whip or nae nae like this before.

One is whipped cream. The other is a horse since it neighs. Yes, I know it’s crazy but this couple’s costume is hilarious.

66. Bet you want some of her for the movies.

She’s movie popcorn by the way. And yes, she’s probably more expensive than the regular stuff.

67. Here Steve Irwin goes hunting for crocodiles.

Sad to see that Steve Irwin’s no longer with us thanks to a sting ray. But this is a fitting tribute.

68. Anyone would want this little gnome for their garden.

He even has a fake beard and hat. Got to love his little outfit. So cute.

69. You’d almost think he’s not quite put together.

Not sure how this works. But you have to like how it seems his legs are detached from his chest.

70. He may be small but he’s filled with infinite wisdom.

This baby’s dressed as the Dalai Lama. Funny, how the real guy wasn’t much older when he became the Dalai Lama back in the 1930s.

71. Seems like this big game hunter has quite a collection.

Normally I abhor trophy hunting. But this costume idea is simply spectacular.

72. “In an old house in Paris that was covered in vines…”

The redhead one is Madeline by the way. Also, one of them might be a guy.

73. Kids in the 1980s might want to dress up as these Care Bears.

Some of them have their own Care Bear plushies with them. Still, these are fairly easy to do whether you’re by yourself or with a group.

74. Nothing will ever scare this crow.

He just wants to fly, eat dead animals, and avoid cars. Like the beak.

75. The hunter always goes out of his way to catch his deer.

He’s clad in camo. She has ears and a fur vest. But we all know this doesn’t end well.

76. Every guy ogles at the alluring Jessica Rabbit.

She may be pretty. But she prefers men with long ears and a fluffy tail.

77. If you’re Hindu, try this Kali costume on for size.

Not sure if it’s offensive. But if you can pull off a costume involving multiple pairs of appendages, that’s impressive.

78. Who can be scared of this little werewolf?

Okay, she might be quite fierce. But she’s so adorable, she’s scary.

79. With these ladies, each can fit inside the other.

Okay, maybe not. But since they’re dressed as Russian nesting dolls, they all seem the same.

80. Want anything from these 1950s waitresses?

Of course, they must have a lot of energy to serve people. Got to love the neck scarves.

81. Apparently, it’s laundry day here.

The kids are washing machines and baskets. The moms are detergent. Not sure about the old lady.

82. You’ll find a rainbow spectrum with these M&Ms.

Except rainbow M&Ms don’t really exist. But these are great.

83. Hope you can get alone with this cupcake.

She’s covered with white icing and sprinkles. And she’s wearing a cherry on top.

84. Nobody can resist this little Mr. Peanut.

You have the baby Planter’s Peanut mascot right here. Kind of wish they added his little monocle. But that’s okay.

85. You might want to keep away from the poop factory.

That’s pretty clever even if it’s slightly denigrating on the dog. Nonetheless, it’s a hit.

86. These two kids are going into the deep blue sea.

You can use bottles for the oxygen tanks. But instead of sea treasure, they’ll just bring back candy from trick or treating.

87. For those who fall and can’t get up, it’s Life Alert to the rescue.

Because nothing will get the ambulance to your home like Life Alert. Though this is only a demonstration.

88. Sometimes you just need a tag for the whole thing.

Now this dog is a beanie baby. You see, simple as that.

89. Seems like we have a cereal killer on the loose.

He goes everywhere stabbing cereals all over the place. Stop the carnage.

90. This man literally thinks he’s God’s gift to women.

So much he’s got himself gift wrapped to show it. Still, this is hilarious.

91. Apparently some creep has taken this girl’s head.

Don’t worry, this is just a costume. She’s alive and well. But yes, it freaks you out.

92. Say hello to Pat Sajak from Wheel of Fortune.

The wheel is an umbrella while the board is a bag saying “Trick or Treat.” So cute.

93. See this skydiver make a descent.

This is another parent and baby costume. The baby’s the aviator. The parent is the sky.

94. Hope you survive a brush with death.

Yes, that’s supposed to be Death with a large toothbrush. Still, this is clever.

95. You can always shine as a swan.

Her swan costume even lights up in the dark. Got to adore he wings and mask here.

96. You can always be a guest to Lumiere and Cogsworth.

Sure they’re girls. But you have to love how they’re dressed as the beloved clock and candelabra.

97. With these two, it’s totally surreal.

That’s Frida Kahlo and Salvador Dali. One was a prominent Mexican artists known for her self-portraits. The other’s a weird Spanish dude known for melting clocks.

98. It’s all in the cards with these king and queens.

Yes, they’re all cards. Consists of the King of Hearts and all 4 queens.

99. Perhaps you might enjoy this Christmas angel.

Well, she’s on top of the tree. Though it’s only October.

100. Made possible by the magic of Dream Works.

You can see how she lights up with the moon. Hope this makes Stephen Spielberg proud.

The Haunted World of Halloween Village Houses (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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In the tradition of Christmasification, it’s on to the Halloween village houses. While village houses are more of a Christmas tradition, it wasn’t long in recent years that Halloween had become incredibly popular. So companies who made and sold Christmas village stuff expanded to Halloween with haunted villages. Because why stick to just one holiday? After all, there are some people who love this holiday more than Christmas anyway. Still, while Christmas evokes a winter wonderland, Halloween evokes plenty of haunted houses, cobwebs, graveyards, skeletons, and other spooky stuff. So it’s no wonder that people might prefer a miniature haunted village within their own haunted house. Nevertheless, if you’re in for a fright, enjoy another treasure trove of scary Halloween village houses for your reading pleasure.

  1. As the coffin door says, “Enter at your own risk!”

And if the inscription is on a coffin, you might want to avoid it. Even if it is bright orange.

2. A purple striped house is certainly a scream.

This is made of paper with a witch in front and a tree behind. If you love Tim Burton, this is for you.

3. Don’t mind the ghost rising from the chimney.

This one lights up inside though it looks quite plain. Then again, haunted houses aren’t meant to look like much.

4. Any Halloween village can look stunning among orange tree lights.

Well, this haunted village doesn’t take much. But it certainly looks scary from the window.

5. When a haunted house has a “Keep Out!” sign, you better avoid it.

Though this is quite an amazing structure made of cardboard. And you don’t have to put a lot of enhancements on it.

6. Beware of the home with the skull and crossed bones.

This one has lace on the roof and a purple tree outside. The other tree doesn’t have much autumn leaves on it.

7. You’d almost think this Halloween village was a hoppin’ town.

Well, it almost seems like a carnival. You’ll find plenty of funny decorations on here. Still, love the lights.

8. An orange evergreen is perfect for any graveyard.

Yes, the tree gives a rather Dr. Seuss touch. Unless you mind the bats and tombstones.

9. You’d almost think this glitter house was abandoned.

Well, haunted houses often look abandoned. Though you’re bound to find ghosts inside.

10. If the house is boarded, there’s probably a ghost inside.

Helps if you put some cobwebs on it. Also, there’s a hint of light from the top window.

11. There’s something batty about this roof.

Contains some cobwebs at the front door and fence. And you’ll find a tombstone, too.

12. A black house is very scary with purple and green window trim.

Contains pom poms and a “Boo!” sign. And yes, it’s covered in glitter. So eerie.

13. You’ll find plenty of spooks on this black house.

This one is covered in cobwebs. But it’s home to ghosts, spiders, vampires, witches, and what have you.

14. Bet you want to know where that light is coming from this striped house.

This one has a roof depicting cobwebs. And yes, most of the trimming is black.

15. Sometimes a simple autumn house is best.

Though this one doesn’t have as much of the scary stuff as the other ones have. Nevertheless, it’s rather quaint.

16. Large lit trees are perfect for any haunted village.

The village doesn’t have to be large. Nor does the tree have to be billowing. A scrawny one will do.

17. A purple house can become especially eerie.

Has green smoke coming from the chimney. And it’s covered in cobwebs for that Halloween touch.

18. Sometimes a gray haunted house is all you need.

Yes, it’s made from cardboard. But it contains ghosts and bats on the upper levels.

19. Nothing goes better for a haunted village like a black metal chandelier on the ceiling.

This one has plenty of platforms. And it lights up at night. Though nobody would want a dog near on it.

20. Sometimes you may find a haunted home with a bright impression.

This one has a bright green house with orange and purple walls. And yes, it makes a great conversation piece.

21. Might want to think twice before entering this blue house.

Yes, it certainly looks like an abandoned house in the middle of the woods. Not sure if there’s a psychokiller lurking around.

22. Better be home before the clock on this strikes midnight.

Got to love the bright blue roof. If it wasn’t for the gray dour facade, you’d almost think it would go great on a Christmas village.

23. This black haunted house is all spotted.

This one appears rather kid family. Though it’s quite whimsical with cute characters.

24. Might want to proceed with caution at this haunted mansion.

This one is held by a pair of skeletons. Got to love the boards, bats, and cobwebs.

25. A gray home often goes well with the wrought iron.

This one also has a clock on it. Yet, the roof is quite fancy for some reason.

26. A skinny house can have a chimney that’s slightly askew.

Though you have to admire the windows on this one. You’d even have one on the tower.

27. There’s something ghostly coming from that purple house.

Though I’d find it more amazing for a ghost to go through a window or wall. But this house is amazing.

28. How about an orange haunted Halloween home?

You’ll find plenty of bare branches and Halloween stuff galore on this one. Great for any haunted display.

29. Sometimes a gray haunted house with a tower is all you need.

This one has quite a scary facade. Like the tombstones and tree.

30. Light through the windows can make any house look eerie from the inside.

This one has a roof trimmed with tinsel and a black tree on its side. A bat is on the front door.

31. You’ll find plenty of frights at this house.

This is made of paper with all kinds of scary figures outside or in the windows. Perfect for a village display.

32. A haunted village can always shine at night when it’s all dark.

This consists of a rocky land that matches the houses. Still, you have to love the lights.

33. With these 3 tower houses, you got to go beyond the grave.

Each of these is boarded up and in shiny paint. And you see plenty of ghosts and pumpkins everywhere.

34. Black houses are always a scream with glittery orange roofs.

Both of these houses have plenty of things to scare you with. And the black candelabra goes quite nicely with them.

35. A green haunted house sits on a rocky foundation.

Well, it certainly sticks out. Wonder if it lights up from the inside at night.

36. A blinged up haunted mansion makes a scary impression.

Yes, it’s quite flashy. But if you’re aiming for a haunted look, this will be a real graveyard smash.

37. A haunted place can be decked in whimsical colors.

This one has a purple roof with black walls and white dormers. You also have a friendly ghost with a smile.

38. You’d almost swear this house was condemned.

Sure it might look haunted. But never underestimate the power of light spray painting.

39. Sometimes a small ceramic house will do with a little paint.

I bet this was one of those craft Christmas houses painted for Halloween. Got to adore the skeletons though.

40. On haunted houses, there’s no limit on towers.

You can see it has lights coming from the inside. However, 4 towers is a bit much for me.

41. A black cat always prefers a bright orange home.

Though it really stands out in a dark room. Still, sometimes a small cottage can be rather scary in its own way.

42. A small orange house is as quaint as it is terrifying.

Helps if it has a black roof and a chimney. But it makes a great home for a ghost.

43. Care to know this home’s previous owner?

Gravestone reads “I.M. Knotwell.” You can guess how he died.

44. Making a small haunted house is simple in black and white.

One has lace trim. The other is covered in a spider web. Both are a haunted sensation.

45. Perhaps a haunted home in diamonds might suit you.

Nice how it’s surrounded by a wrought iron fence. Got to love the trees and lamp post.

46. Sometimes you might want to have a house with a fancy pattern.

Well, this kind of consists of two houses. Though they have different patterns. Like the windows and trees.

47. You’ll find haunted houses like these in 3 sizes.

You can even find them in 3 colors with unique features. All are covered with black cobwebs.

48. Hope you don’t mind the bloody ghost or giant skeleton.

Yes, it’s just a small purple house. But there’s a lot of scary shit going on there. Great for horror movie fans.

49. You can’t do with enough cobwebs on a haunted home.

Sure it’s mostly cotton stuffing from a craft store. But if you get it everywhere on a house like this, you’re doing it right.

50. Sometimes a haunted house is so simple as painting one black.

These mostly consists of ceramic craft houses painted black for a haunted look. Yes, making one of these is that easy.

51. A large black moon and bat are perfect for overlooking a nighttime village haunt.

And the moon is in the face of a skull in black glitter. But yes, it certainly gives a spooky impression.

52. You’d be pressed not pass up a black paper house like this.

You can see there are plenty of chalk markings. Yet, it kind of seems like the wind’s blowing at it.

53. You’d almost think this house can bend backwards.

Features an orange tree, skull and crossbones, and a spider on the roof. A good addition for any Halloween display.

54. Cheesecloth is handy for cobwebs and ghosts.

It’s a small orange glitter house. But you have to adore the ghosts and ghosts.

55. Some haunted houses are decked in all kinds of patterns.

You’d almost think the house has a mind of its own when you look at the windows and shutters. Has a fence with pumpkins.

56. Beware of the black house with the twin spires.

Yes, it’s a rather imposing structure. But you have to adore the black trees decked with orange garlands.

57. At times, a plain haunted house can be all you need.

You might think this just an abandoned house. But add Halloween stuff and it’s haunted.

58. You’d almost swear there was a witch here.

Well, it has a witch on the side which appears when you turn on the light inside. Eerie, isn’t it?

59. The more haunted a house looks the better.

This one has a cut out of freaky twins. And a roof that almost appears like wood.

60. Perhaps earth tones might strike your fancy.

You’d almost think it was real if it was life sized. Like the tree, by the way.

61. Wonder what this witch is brewing.

Then again, I may not want to know. But it’s certainly fancy on the outside.

62. A haunted house can really stand out in lime green.

Has a witch in the center. But the color is certainly a scream.

63. Doesn’t hurt if you board up a window or two.

After all, board up one window and you can really make the place look haunted. Then add some bats.

64. You’d almost think this house as a wicked cage.

Sure enough, it has “Wicked” in green glitter. And yes, it has a lot of dead plants and a spider.

65. You’d almost think this house was ready to collapse.

This one is made of ceramic with bright colors to spook. And yes, it’s quite amusing to see.

66. Perhaps you might want to stop at this scare hotel.

This one has a skeleton on the top story. But I have to like the chimney.

67. You’d almost think this place was a real ghost haunt.

Think of it where ghosts go for Mardi Gras. Though it’s more suited for Halloween.

68. It’s kind of unsettling when you see a green light from a black house.

This one is made of metal. Not sure what’s going on. But you have to like the spider web on here.

69. What’s that red light coming from that church?

Yes, it’s quite menacing. And yes, it’s made from black metal. So scary.

70. Pink light is perfect for a house with a tower.

This one seems to have candles inside. Though I’d see it as a fire hazard more or less.

71. Even a small flicker of light can be quite eerie.

This one is a black metal church. Though the bubbles can enhance its haunted look.

72. You can’t go wrong with a small green cottage.

Sure it doesn’t look like much. But you’d be charmed with the purple trim and a candy corn tree.

73. A simple frame house is perfect for a black cat.

Though I more or less imagine Victorian haunted houses. Modern design doesn’t really do the trick.

74. Seems like nature has really taken over this house.

This house is boarded up and covered with vines. It’s pretty original compared to the others.

75. You’d almost think this house was possessed by demons.

This is rather unsettling. Makes you wonder whether exorcists take house calls.

76. Might want to get a load on this skull tree.

Yes, that’s pretty creepy. Then again, creepy is kind of the point in this one.

77. Doesn’t hurt if a haunted house can shimmer.

This one has a gold roof with blue. But you got to like the tree with the ghosts.

78. There’s something grave near this trailer.

After all, if a home is mobile, you’d wonder why it’s near grave. Then again, you may not want to know.

79. At this house, you’ll find some visitors from another world.

This is supposed to be a UFO sighting. And it seems like the aliens are ready to descend.

80. Apparently, you’ll find this house under a spider infestation.

And it seems like a monster spider attack. If you’re afraid of spiders, you might find this horrifying.

81. A cottage like this is a giant ant’s paradise.

Though would you want to live near giant ants? Definitely not. Because that’s terrifying.

82. If you see snow, you might want to beware of the Yeti.

Though I’m not sure where you’ll find retro style houses in the Himalayas. Though this is quite a creative design.

83. When you see a UFO land, the aliens will emerge.

Never thought I’d see a village UFO crash for Halloween. Though please tell them that you come in peace.

84. Sometimes you can’t go wrong with a flashy purple house.

This one has purple glitter, purple bats, and purple everything. Love it.

85. Old jewelry can create a rather haunted look.

This one has jeweled bordered windows and a large black stone on the door. If you like scary and gaudy stuff, this is for you.

86. For more eerie effect, try some bright green on the windows.

This one is covered with glitter with pumpkins in front. Seems like a place you’d expect the Joker to live in.

87. There’s something ghastly about this abode.

Well, it’s kind of shaped like a ghost. But it’s black with purple windows. Nevertheless, it’s a rather haunted haven.

88. You might want to give some bones about this mobile home.

This one kind of gives me the creeps. Because most people don’t have skeletons outside their houses.

89. You might find something slithering at this frame house.

Apparently, this is basically a snake infestation. But I do like where the chimney is located.

90. There’s something coming from that manhole on the road.

Kind of reminds you of what you’d see in a monster movie. Still, the house seems rather doomed by the looks of it.

91. Perhaps you might want to relax at this autumn cabin.

Sure it may not seem like Halloween. But it kind of has a rather rustic flair.

92. A haunted house can stand out with colorful stripes.

Sure it might have pastel colors. But it’s definitely a Halloween house with graves.

93. Bright colors always make a rather whimsical haunted house.

This one seems rather like a kid friendly craft project. Still, the ghosts are a delight.

94. There are some ghosts who prefer festive accommodations.

This one is made from ceramic. But you have to love trimmings and towers.

95. Nothing can make a house more haunted like Halloween candy.

This one has a rather glittery facade. But you can’t help but trick or treat with this.

96. Bet you find an orange spider on this house.

Well, at least on the top. Still, the black trees on this one are rather imposing.

97. Sometimes a ghost might prefer a glittery home.

It even has some glittery windows and tombstones. Perfect for those who like shiny things.

98. This house seems shaped like a coffin.

Well, in a way. Yet, it has a door in the corner under the word “Boo!”

99. I suppose this is a home to a druggist.

Still, would you want to get any drugs from this place? Probably not.

100. No amazing haunted house should go without a pumpkin

This one is green with black stripes. Still, the pumpkin adds a rather Halloween touch.

 

The Dark Scary World of Vintage Halloween Costumes (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Whether intended to be scary or cute, many of these vintage Halloween costumes seem rather terrifying for some reason. Perhaps they made costumes differently. Or maybe it’s the photography since black and white can make things look significantly scarier than color. Maybe they were just more creative. But whatever the reason Halloween back then apparently seemed much creepier than today’s equivalents. And if you lived back then, chances are you’d probably wouldn’t want to run into any partiers or trick or treaters. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you yet another installment of some really creepy old Halloween costumes to send a shiver up your spine.

  1. You might want to beware of the clowns living in Uncanny Lane.

By the way, do you know Pennywise the Clown from It? Well, these are his parents. Or grandparents. I’m not exactly sure.

2. Perhaps you can be a deer and what the hell is that thing?

Then again, the deer head costume kind of looks a bit creepy as well. But it’s nothing compared to the one kind of resembling a badly designed ghost cat.

3. For a devil costume all you need is a dress and matching horns.

Sure they may not look scary. Yet, the hooked tails kind of look out of place.

4. Think of this classroom scene as Arthur meets Pet Semetary.

Man, those masks are so creepy as hell. Guaranteed to give you nightmares for weeks.

5. Oh, look two trick or treaters.

Okay, you can take all the candy you want! Just go away and don’t kill me!

6. Children always look forward to a Halloween parade.

Might want to flee the neighborhood when they’re around. Unless you have a huge stock of candy.

7. Apparently, Spock goes for purple haired chicks.

Actually that doesn’t look like Spock at all. Besides, couldn’t the parents just use make up and pointed ears? Seems less scary.

8. Please don’t look behind the bushes.

Because these two girls will straight up murder you. Sure they might be playing around. But piss them off, you’ll soon regret it.

9. This boy is quite a skilled bear baiter.

For one, this costume pair makes light of cruelty to animals. Second, that is the most terrifying bear I’ve ever seen. Please don’t sick that thing on me.

10. Be wary around anything with a big head.

After all, the one with the bag was never seen again after this picture was taken. Sure the big headed guy might look silly but avoid if you value you life.

11. Beware of the scary ghouls with flashlights.

Yes, they’re trick or treaters. But give them anything with razor blades and they’ll put you through hell.

12. You’ll surely be endeared with this clown wearing musical cats.

On second thought, those cats are terrifying. If there’s a cat version of Deliverance, I bet any money they’d be in it.

13. On Halloween, best not to piss off this wicked witch.

No, she’s not the kind of witch you’d see on Harry Potter. And if you do anything stupid, she can easily turn you into a toad.

14. “Smile for the camera, children!”

We have idea what happened to the kid in the cap after this. For he was never seen again.

15. Keep away from those wearing large masks.

Yes, those are incredibly horrifying. So is the cat. Might want to avoid if you value your life.

16. Try getting these women out of these large bottles.

They’re dressed as gin and port. And from how the labels are placed, I’m not sure if they’re wearing much else.

17. Someone in this picture has their mask on upside down.

But the mask is nevertheless terrifying just the same. Also, you don’t want to piss off those at the fountain.

18. When these two clowns visit your neighborhood, you better be on your guard.

Make sure you have plenty of candy. For if you don’t, chances are you’ll never be seen again.

19. Better give this devil his due.

Yes, that mask is certainly menacing. So you better give him candy before he takes your soul.

20. Sometimes a so-called cute creature can be upright murderous.

Yes, the costumes here are kind of scary. But the panda and chipmunk are truly the stuff of nightmares.

21. No, you don’t want to shake hands with the pumpkin man.

At first I thought it was a Halloween decoration. Still, I don’t think this girl’s exercising good judgement.

22. Whatever you do, it would be wise not to crash this party.

For all you know, party crashers could be on the menu. So you might as well stay away if you value your life.

23. When trick or treating, kids, there are just some homes you must stay away from.

This house would fall among those you should skip. Doesn’t matter if their candy is good. Because they could easily put you in a pot or a hot oven.

24. Of course, many costume parties should always have a group photo.

Yet, you best not want to see these people in a dark alley. Or intoxicated. Also, what’s party hat Hitler doing here? Talk about terrifying.

25. Don’t want to know who let these dogs out.

For all I know, they’d drag me into the woods and murder me. So best you keep away from these two.

26. Perhaps you might want to pay a visit to the pumpkin man.

May not be as scary as Donald Trump. But the pumpkin head and abdomen is unsettling. Still, have to admire the squash wagon.

27. This guy just wants someone to sit with him.

Though better if you shouldn’t. For you never know what he might do to you. Then again, he might be just lonely.

28. On Halloween, sometimes you might want to know what happened to certain kids’ heads.

I know it’s a mask head. But that just doesn’t look right for some reason. Not sure why.

29. I’m sure this girl wouldn’t want to hold hands with this Uncle Sam.

Even the old costumes not meant to be scary are terrifying. This especially goes for ones of Uncle Sam for some reason. Yes, I feel for that girl, too.

30. Even ghosts can get tired sometimes.

But that’s still a very creepy costume. Also the one with the black leather mask is quite menacing.

31. Sometimes it helps if your costumes match.

Though stripes don’t detract from the horrifying expressions. Best to keep away if you value your life.

32. On Halloween, chances are you might run into a ghost in your neighborhood.

But if you run into this one, try to get out of sight before they haunt your dreams. Otherwise, nobody will see you again.

33. When Dracula and Frankenstein band together, no one is safe.

Sure they’re store bought masks. But they nevertheless seem scary as hell.

34. Keep away from the clown in the corner.

Yes, clowns can terrify us. But this is especially so in black and white photography.

35. Even a pumpkin from bags can horrifying onlookers.

That face may have a smile. But you don’t want to mess with them. Seriously, don’t.

36. Somehow I’m not sure what’s going on with this rabbit.

Cute little bunny rabbit in an outfit isn’t what I have in mind with this one. In fact, wouldn’t be surprised if this girl took out an ax.

37. If you thought the twins from The Shining were creepy…

Those masks are just uncanny and menacing. Guaranteed to give you nightmares.

38. Sometimes it helps of you crack a few egg…people.

This woman’s costume doesn’t even have arm’s for God’s sake. Yet, she doesn’t seem to mind. Not sure why.

39. There’s a strong chance you might be visited by green people from another world.

If they visit you, best to give them what they want. Else, they might vaporize you.

40. Pennywise the Clown has nothing on this guy.

Hell, this guy makes Pennywise look like a clown at a birthday party. Why he doesn’t get the Stephen King treatment, no one knows.

41. Sometimes a costume might seem scarier under candle light.

You can see this in action with this ugly vampire. I’m sure he’d give the guy from Nosferatu a run for his money.

42. Even a wolf can seem scary near a jack-o-lantern.

Not sure if he’ll kill your grandma or blow down your house. But if go near him, you probably don’t want to know.

43. There are some trick or treaters you simply just can’t greet.

Just throw candy at them and have them leave. But not those Dum Dum lollipops. Or candy corn. Else, you’ll regret it.

44. Guess this is what you’d call a 1930s insane clown posse.

Okay, they might not be juggalos. But they’re dressed as clowns. And they’re certainly insane.

45. Only a clown can enjoy a slow dance with a ghoulish ghost.

Though which one I should feel bad for is a difficult question. After all, both seem likely to kill you in your sleep.

46. When these 3 ghosts visit the neighborhood, it’s time to run.

Because if you don’t give them candy, they will haunt your dreams. Or perhaps worse.

47. A jolly clown like this boy is one to avoid.

After all, he might get his jollies from hacking people to pieces. Don’t believe me? Just look at his face.

48. When ghost drive by night, be very afraid.

Still, if you drive near these, you might want to give them the right of way. Because you might regret it if you don’t.

49. Don’t worry about these witches hanging.

Though the old crone seems like one who’d use a candy house to eat children. The other woman doesn’t seem to mind.

50. You can create a scary costume with a white sheet.

Yes, these are certainly menacing. Definitely guaranteed to haunt your dreams.

51. No, you don’t want to touch that clown’s nose.

Though the other kids seem pretty terrifying as well. Nevertheless, best to avoid them on the street.

52. When you see some ghastly folks in cone hats, it’s time to run.

Best not to push their buttons. For you don’t want to be chopped to pieces. So don’t piss them off.

53. Sometimes a simple paper bag can make all the difference.

Must take an artist to make a simple brown paper bag inspire nightmares. Stephen King would be proud.

54. When you’re on a budget, go with newspaper.

Not sure what he’s supposed to be. But at least he’s willing to get creative. Yet, he’s a long shot in any costume contest.

55. Better not look behind you when bobbing for apples.

Because if you do, these undead will kidnap you and bury you alive. So happy apple bobbing, kids.

56. Introducing for one night only, the Skeleton Triplets.

You should really see them dance since they’re such a scream. Also inspire screams when looking into their stone cold faces.

57. When you see this witch around, her little brother won’t be far behind.

So please treat them well and give them candy. But not candy corn since they will absolutely murder you if you do.

58. Even the Devil can be trusted around babies.

Okay, I know this is a picture of siblings. But that masks might suggest the boy’s less than a wholesome influence.

59. Here’s a photo of Pennywise from his childhood.

Let’s just say this was one kid in the neighborhood you didn’t mess with. Because he’d basically kill you.

60. On Halloween, best not mess with these witches.

After all, to these girls, black magic is serious business. And if they turn you into a toad, consider yourself lucky.

61. When he shows up, it’s your time to go.

Since he’s the Grim Reaper. Okay, he’s dressed up as one. But he’s quite frightening.

62. You might want to watch your back with these little devils around.

If you think they’re scary now. Just imagine them with their masks on.

63. Children always enjoy community trick or treating.

But you’d almost mistake this bunch for a horde of horrid monsters. Avoid them like the plague.

64. Apparently, these clowns have taken a couple of hostages.

And it’s likely these two boys may not have long to live. Poor angels.

65. Now this kid has a rather funny looking face.

Never underestimate the power of paper mache. And yes, this mask is terrifying.

66. The difference between these two is in black and white.

No, these two aren’t the aliens from “Let That Be Your Last Battlefield.” Because they didn’t have Star Trek at the time.

67. Bet you wouldn’t want to run into these trick-or-treaters.

Seems like you’ll find plenty of scary masks here. So best to either give them candy or avoid.

68. Don’t look now but Frankenstein’s monster is in the neighborhood.

Though to be fair, Frankenstein’s monster isn’t supposed to be bad. Rather it’s Dr. Frankenstein who’s the real monster.

69. You never know what you can make with paper bags and yarn.

And yes, they’re certainly frightening. Talk about creepy craft projects.

70. Thought Anne Jetson didn’t resemble a horror movie character.

Yet, this one makes a cartoon character seem like she’s from an uncanny valley. Eeek!

71. Should you attend this Halloween party, best to leave as soon as you can.

And yes, I can feel for the guy without a costume in this. Chances are, he won’t be coming home that night.

72. Not sure if he’s a soldier or executioner.

On the other hand, the woman’s dress goes perfect with the wallpaper. Though I wouldn’t mess with the guy with the ax.

73. You’d swear these women’s hair would stand on end.

And they all seem tucked into a sheet like they’re standing. Indeed, I don’t understand it.

74. Apparently, Nathan Bedford Forrest Elementary School wasn’t known for its sensitivity training program.

There’s a reason why we don’t want people to use a cone hat on their ghost costume. Because it brings a startling resemblance to what some white supremacists wear.

75. Dead Mickey Mouse and Batgirl Thing say goodbye.

And yes, their costumes seem to defy all explanation. Yet, they’re also incredibly terrifying.

76. Hope you never run into this rare bird.

Because she doesn’t seem very friendly. Also wears high-heeled shoes.

77. Sometimes you can do plenty with a cardboard mask.

Sure it’s a very cheap Halloween costume. But at the same time, it turns a child into a neighborhood psychokiller.

78. Seems like demonic monsters revel in the great outdoors.

Though you wouldn’t want to be out when they’re in the neighborhood. And yes, I hear they do kill unsuspecting bystanders.

79. Everyone always has fun at the skeleton dance.

But they sure don’t give any bones about freaking out the neighbors. Or anyone else.

80. Sometimes the scary is all kept in the family.

And let’s just say they always dress for dinner. But yes, the women will certainly give you the heebie jeebies.

Ghastly Halloween Greetings in the Ghoulish Days of Old (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Now it’s on to vintage Halloween greeting cards. Whenever I do a post on holiday greeting cards, I usually go for the vintage lot mostly since they have a lot of crazy imagery that don’t hold up in contemporary times. Not to mention, people sent greeting cards to each other way more often than today. Well at least it seems that way. Halloween cards are no exception. Many of these cards use very creepy illustrations sometimes depicting stuff that doesn’t make sense to the modern eye. Sometimes figures aren’t drawn right that they look unintentionally creepy like children. And sometimes the inscription might contain a suggestive message correlating to the image, which I most often see on vintage valentines. Some of these cards could be outright offensive at a demographic stand point. But regardless of what you might see, you’d probably wouldn’t send these cards to a loved one any time soon. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of vintage Halloween cards time forgot.

  1. A large lit jack-o-lantern sets a black cat’s fur on end.

Though I think the cat’s more freaked out by the kid who’s threatening to whack him with a broomstick. Though that jack-o-lantern is creepy.

2. Nobody’s happier on Halloween than a pumpkin head child with gold teeth.

However, this pumpkin kid has inspired countless nightmares ever since. Seriously, anyone would be freaked out by this.

3. Halloween is always a time of year to casually converse with floating jack-o-lanterns.

Because there’s nothing crazy about talking to floating pumpkins under candle light. Okay, little Jimmy may be a little eccentric. But please understand him.

4. “May you have a jolly Halloween!”

However, neither of these kids holding pumpkins seem jolly. More like the kids who showed up at a Halloween party without a costume.

5. Flying a broom at night is thrilling for this pumpkin head kid.

Not sure what’s creepier. Seeing a crone witch flying on a broom in the sky or this. At least flying witches don’t give you nightmares.

6. If you let the candle drip in the water on Halloween, the face of your soulmate will appear.

Guess this is a superstition but I don’t think love works that way. Also, how is that guy sitting without a chair?

7. Cats and little girls are always Halloween chums.

This girl’s like “I’ll love em’ and squeeze em,’ and keep em’ forever and ever.” Cat makes a face like someone in a hostage situation.

8. “A happy future/I hope you will see/On Hallow’een in a cup of tea.”

Not sure if I can go on with that idea. Still, hope the girl doesn’t look at that fairy. Eeek.

9. Happy Halloween from the living human squash garden.

The fact these have pumpkin and squash heads and human bodies make them terrifying enough. You could almost make a horror movie with these.

10. Pumpkin head scarecrow wishes you a joyous Halloween.

Because he’s the only thing keeping you safe from these freaky children. Their smiles are particularly menacing.

11. Terrifying boy with broomstick wishes you a jolly Halloween.

Looking at that kid’s face makes me feel for the whimpering jack-o-lantern. Hate to think of what that boy will do with that broom.

12. Demons and squash people relish in a Halloween feast.

I don’t know why these squash people exist in these Halloween cards. Yet one really seems to enjoy the chocolate box.

13. “Ho! For a Merry Hallowe’en!”

Seems like the jack-o-lantern wants the kid to climb into his mouth in order to devour him. And the moon’s relishing watching the whole thing. Maybe Linus should be glad the Great Pumpkin never came to his neck of the woods.

14. You can’t have a Halloween party without inviting a small moon man.

I’ve heard of the man in the moon. But I had no idea that he had a human body and wears a suit. Still, seems to like tall girls fro some reason.

15. “Pumpkin head I would like to be/If in your arms you would take me.”

Look, I know this is supposed to be a card someone sent to their sweetheart. But the terrifying pumpkins in the background just freak me out.

16. Stay safe on Halloween and watch out for flying jack-o-lanterns.

And you thought the wolf was bad enough for Little Red Riding Hood. Run for your life from those pumpkins! For they will only bring you death.

17. Apparently, nobody wants a visit from the jack-o-lantern ghost.

Still, I’m not sure if the jack-o-lantern is really a head. Or if it’s just on top on its head. Maybe I don’t want to know.

18. Witches on broomsticks always fly by night.

Yet, the man in the moon always likes to gaze at the young witch’s best attributes. Which makes the cats terrified and brings scorn from the owl.

19. Happy Halloween from the hulking depressed ghost.

Guess someone’s not in a scary mood this Halloween night. Not sure what the witch and small scarecrow think otherwise.

20. Bobbing for apples is always Halloween fun.

However, a white girl dressed as an Indian falls under cultural appropriation. Not exactly offensive like the Cleveland Indians logo but still.

21. Children always look forward to Halloween night.

Yet, black cats seem to be afraid of everything. This one absolutely dreads a small child’s embrace and for good reason.

22. “On All-hallows Eve,/When the hour is late,/Pull a root from the garden/And meet your fate.”

Yet, a root with a face and appendages just defies all concepts of biology. Also, what’s this about pulling up root veggies for Halloween?

23. May you see your dream boat in your mirror on Halloween, thanks to witch coming from a pumpkin.

She’s probably freaked out by the witch coming from the pumpkin. Though she might want to look at her ginger dream guy in the mirror. Yet, she’s not paying attention.

24. There’s nothing more fun on Halloween than stealing the occasional jack-o-lantern.

And those trick or treaters should be lucky that the policeman chasing them doesn’t have a gun. Though the ghost kid looks straight out of a horror movie.

25. Halloween greetings from a little red hatted witch.

However, as she sorts her mail, she devises her own little evil plan. So if you see her, you might want to run away from her like hell.

26. Sometimes even witches wouldn’t want to go near a pumpkin headed scarecrow.

Though this guy doesn’t seem able to go anywhere so he might want some companionship. Then again, we’ve probably heard all about Donald Trump’s sexual assault allegations. So I wouldn’t blame the witch here.

27. Everyone always wants to take part in a Halloween parade.

However, you wouldn’t want to take part in this procession. And the fact the pumpkin lanterns also seem to enjoy it only inspires more nightmares. Seriously, why?

28. “At twelve o’clock you must be ready,/And hold your pumpkin good and steady/For by its rays of candle light/On Halloween all things are bright!”

However, the moon behind this witch seems to give her a massive pervo stare. Wonder why she doesn’t feel uncomfortable here.

29. Halloween night might startle you with an occasional fright once in awhile.

I’m sure the cat’s freaked out by the sight of the squash people. Because these squash people are the stuff of nightmares.

30. “The time has come/For the witches’ dance,/And the spooks from far and near/Will gather and make merry/For Halloween is here.”

Though being stared down by a giant jack-o-lantern cannot be a pleasant experience. The green goblins look kind of freaky, too.

31. Remember if you go out alone on Halloween night, you’ll be in for a fright.

Yet, that couple might not want to mind the terrifying jack-o-lantern in the window. Kind of seems evil for some reason.

32. Squash people can’t resist a piece of cake.

Though they sure look terrifying eating it. Still, I swear these guys were a product of some 19th century drug trip.

33. On Halloween night, don’t miss the charms of the witching hour.

Yet, that laughing pumpkin moon just gives me the creeps. And I think the white cat agrees with me.

34. Nothing beats trick or treating on Halloween.

Not sure if this kid’s even wearing costume. Then again, he probably doesn’t need one since he looks pretty terrifying already.

35. A witch’s cauldron should always bring all the spirits in  view.

Yes, those faces will give you nightmares. But what’s with that masked person?

36. “Could I borrow a witch’s flying machine/I’d visit you on Hallow’een.”

Yet, this witch doesn’t seem to fly her broom right. Apparently, the broom part is supposed to be down.

37. Apparently, nobody wants to see flying jack-o-lanterns on a cow.

Well, if I were that woman, I’d be flipping out in fright, too. Those jack-o-lantern smiles are just terrifying.

38. Seems like this black cat really doesn’t like what’s coming out of that cauldron.

Then again, it’s not like I’d blame the cat for anything. Because I thought those cauldrons were just for magic potions.

39. If you want to know your fortune, pull out a beet from your garden at midnight.

Still, the gnome fairy is just incredibly freaky looking. Also, going out in your garden for a beet to read your future? What the hell?

40. No feat is greater on Halloween than carving a giant pumpkin in the patch.

Now we know where the Great Pumpkin came from. Still, can’t really see a kid doing this. Also, you don’t see a lot of stuff lying around. I mean don’t you have to shell out the contents first?

41. If you look in the mirror on Halloween, the fiend will show you the person you marry.

Though I wouldn’t want to look at the white fiend behind if I were him. Also, I don’t think he’s pleased with what he’s seeing.

42. Beware what you find in that old grandfather clock.

Seems like the cat looked and its fur already stands on end. Still, bound to give you nightmares.

43. Keep an eye out for ghosts on Halloween night.

And yes, the ghosts seem like they’re straight out of some horror film. One of them is about to reach for that woman’s shoulder. Freaky.

44. You can always make merry on the drum on Halloween night.

However, the drum doesn’t seem to look happy at all. Also, the cats are parading around mice, which they eat.

45. You never know what you’ll run into on Halloween night.

Or who will be coming home with brown on the seat of their pants. Though seeing a ghostly figure in the woods will freak out just about anyone.

46. There’s nothing scarier than being chased by a jack-o-lantern on legs.

Yes, you’d probably run away from that, too. But the kids seem substantially creepier to me, especially the one getting trampled.

47. Bobbing for apples is always a wholesome Halloween activity.

Though this guy’s wondering which of the twins he wants to make out with. Or he just wants to gape at one of the girl’s drenched pink dress.

48. Happy Halloween, courtesy of Nightmare man.

Surely wouldn’t want to see that guy riding on a broomstick upside down. Yet, the woman with the jack-o-lantern doesn’t seem to mind.

49. May cats in jack-o-lantern hot air balloons bring you Halloween joys.

Even the owl can’t believe what it’s witnessing at the moment. Yes, that’s probably inspired by some drug trip.

50. As you know, jack-o-lanterns can come in so many faces.

Yet, each one of these pumpkins is rather eerie in its own way. Particularly if they have teeth.

The Spooky World of Halloween Pumpkin Dioramas (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Once again, we come to the pumpkin dioramas said to be one of the hottest trends this Halloween season. Sure most of the pumpkins are from craft stores for obvious reasons. But Yahoo.com touts these projects as a way for families to craft together as the decorating ideas are endless. But most of those I find on the Internet usually depict a haunted scene of some type such as a haunted house or grave yard. After all, Halloween is the biggest fall holiday. Some of them even light up like the diorama above and in so many colors for an eerie effect. You can have glitter pumpkins or ones that glow in the dark. So for your reading pleasure, I bring you another assortment of spooky pumpkin dioramas for Halloween.

  1. Apparently, creepy clowns love to hang out in cemeteries.

Well, if the clown was Pennywise, Stephen King would be proud. A perfect idea for IT fans.

2. Seems like this skeleton has his bones scattered.

The sky on this one has cobwebs inside. Love how the lights are meant to resemble stars.

3. You’d almost think this pumpkin was possessed.

This one depicts a haunted house and graveyard. It even lights up from the ground.

4. This paper haunted house has a friendly ghost.

This one doesn’t seem very hard to make. Even has a little night sky in the background with purple light.

5. For a fairy, a pumpkin shell makes a perfect dining area.

Well, this is more of a fairy house. But it proves that not all pumpkin dioramas have to be scary.

6. A pumpkin makes a wonderful place for your potions.

Sure none of them are fit for human consumption. But perfect for witches who want a place to put their concoctions.

7. If you’re a fan of Stranger Things, here’s a pumpkin diorama for you.

Sure this one uses very small figurines. But you can have fun with this for hours.

8. Eerie green lights are perfect for a graveyard shift.

Though this one has a vulture on top. But the skeleton hanging on a tree is quite charming.

9. You’d find plenty of scary things at this haunted house.

The green lights inside make this quite spooky. But the ghosts really stand out amongst everything.

10. This cemetery is filled with mummies.

And it doesn’t seem to look like Egypt either. Guess whoever made this wanted to do something original.

11. Don’t mind these skeletons hanging during the graveyard shift.

Neither are quite buried. Though got to love the glitter night sky and orange star lights.

12. Every princess should have a glittery pumpkin carriage for the ball.

Maybe the Fairy Godmother was on to something. Still, like how it lights up inside.

13. How about a spooky Halloween time with these ghosts?

This one has ghosts in front of the fence holding “Boo!” More adorable than scary though.

14. Pumpkins are a perfect place for a tea between friends.

Sure it doesn’t seem like it’s made for Halloween. But little girls would adore this.

15. Seems like you’d find a lit haunted house on any dark night.

Well, that looks pretty eerie. The haunted house appears it’s from a store for a village.

16. Every Cinderella should have a pumpkin coach with pumpkin wheels.

This one has silver pumpkin wheels with a coach edged with jewels. Maybe not Halloween, but any princess will love it.

17. This skeleton gives no bones about potion making.

Well, the cauldron looks pretty empty. But the skeleton doesn’t let a little orange night light interfere.

18. This skeleton is trying his hand in fishing.

And it seems he’s got a catch. Nevertheless, you have to admire the stars inside.

19. This haunted scene is within this jack-o-lantern’s smile.

Well, it’s kind of delightful. Though I think this one comes from a store for some reason.

20. This mouse has plenty of teas to offer.

But would you want any tea from a mouse? I wouldn’t think so. But this one is quite charming.

21. You might want to stay away from this haunted house.

This is particularly the case if the edge is lined with moss. And yes, the light inside is quite eerie.

22. Cinderella emerges from her jewel encrusted pumpkin coach.

It’s also edged with lace with a tiara on top. Yes, it’s another pumpkin coach but it’s a rather intricate one.

23. A wolf howling at the full moon is a menacing sight.

Okay, maybe it’s not the full moon. Though it’s quite scary enough even though wolves aren’t as dangerous as you might think. Well, as long as you leave them alone and don’t touch their pups.

24. Perhaps you might want to stop at this pumpkin house for trick or treating.

This one has all the trimmings with the ledge in the front. Though you wouldn’t want to go inside.

25. Come inside to find the pumpkin patch.

Okay, they mostly consist of inedible candy corn pumpkins. But this is a rather charming diorama kids would love.

26. Inside this pumpkin you’ll find the stars.

Contains a railing all lined with cats. On the edge, you have lights.

27. You can use a pumpkin to make your own haunted house.

Uses a cotton ball as a ghost. And it’s all painted gray with stairs and porch roof.

28. How about a graveyard with an imposing gate?

This one has a blue sky along with green light. Got to love the skulls on the imposing gate.

29. On a clear night, you might see a wolf howling at the moon.

You’ll find plenty of sticks inside as trees. And yes, the ground is made of moss.

30. Why make a haunted house of one pumpkin when you have 3?

Each of these is painted purple with towers. But you have to love this one.

31. You might not want to see a wolf howling in front of a haunted house.

Though wolves would normally avoid haunted houses and graveyards. Then again, that lone wolf might be a werewolf.

32. A golden pumpkin coach should always dazzle for the palace ball.

This even has horses and pumpkin wheels. Though the horses will turn to mice after midnight.

33. There’s some eerie orange light coming from that graveyard.

Seems like something’s rising from the ground. Don’t have a good feeling about that.

34. Beware what awaits at that haunted shack.

I can see a few skeletons on the ground. Might want to avoid if you dare.

35. A haunted house must have a mossy arch way with spiders.

This one has a putz house inside with candy corn trees, a lamp post, and a tree. Has a skull and raven on top.

36. Seems like this vampire gathering has gone batty.

This is a red one with bats in the background. And if anyone stops by, I’m sure it becomes a real blood fest.

37. This skeleton is on his own highway to Hell.

Well, if you’re as skeleton on a motorcycle, that’s probably where you’ll go? Still, this is quite amusing.

38. The graveyard is a wonderful place to have a barbecue.

Hey, skeletons and zombies like to have their picnics. Though how’d they get a large grill in a cemetery, I’m not sure.

39. Seems like the Grim Reaper is on the prowl.

Well, if you’re in the haunted hollow, you’ll run into him at some point. And yes, he rides a white horse.

40. These skeletons are always willing to perform at Dia de los Muertos.

Okay, so it’s not a Mexican Halloween style pumpkin. But it’s a pumpkin diorama nonetheless that can be used for Halloween.

41. You will always have a good time at the carnival fun fair.

Includes a skeleton and a scary clown. Probably want to avoid the scary clown.

42. Here we have some Mexican skeletons playing in the cemetery.

Another diorama for Dia de los Muertos. Yet, you have to love the black and white flowers on it.

43. How about an undead serenade?

Yes, they seem to have a few Day of the Dead dioramas on Etsy. And this one is in a graveyard with a fence.

44. A fairy sleeps in a small pumpkin among flowers.

Another fairy pumpkin diorama. This is more suited for spring which isn’t a season for pumpkins.

45. In this diorama, the graves surround a mausoleum.

Yes, a lot of these are in grave yards. Decorated with a ribbon and jewel on the outside.

46. Might not want to cross this Ent in the cemetery at night.

This one is made of ceramic. Contains a clever spooky sign and moss.

47. All hail the ghoulish Pharaoh of Egypt.

Wonder if Ancient Egypt imagined the afterlife like this. Still, you have to like the skeletons in Egyptian garb.

48. On Dia de los Muertos, you can’t do better than these pumpkin dioramas.

This one has skeletons serenading along with flowers and other decorations. The shells are decorated with glitter.

49. May these skeletons be together till death.

Oh, I forgot. They’re dead. But you have to love the lighting and the glitter on this one.

50. Fall is always a time of year for deer in the forest.

Inside we have a doe and her fawn. Outside we have a buck. The bottom is covered in fake moss.

The Creepy, Crawly World of Scary Halloween Craft Projects (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

View Great Halloween Living Room Decorating Ideas

Now that I have Halloween treats out of the way, it’s on to the crafts. While you find plenty of Halloween decorations at any store near you, many tend to make their own. After all, decorating one’s house for Halloween is part of the fun. There are plenty of ways to make a home like a haunted house. On many lawns, you’re bound to see lots of skeletons, ghouls, and ghosts. Many of these are quite amusing like you see above. Some of them quite cute which are geared to children. Some of them can be quite horrifying to some trick or treaters. Then again, Halloween is one of  the few times a year you can gross and scare onlookers. Well, unless you have children since some of these decorations don’t carry a PG rating. This especially goes for décor catered to horror movie fans. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of scary Halloween craft projects.

  1. Rest your head on this fuzzy spider pillow.

Unless you’re arachnaphobic. Still, this is quite cute for a spider.

2. Candy corn bottles make an ideal Halloween display.

Though this seems more like minimalistic decor at best. Still, you can use different shapes and sizes.

3. Dried flowers look splendid in a hanging witch hat on your door.

Yet, these seem to consist of flowers that don’t look appealing. But if you’re a witchy woman, they’ll be fine.

4. A white grapevine wreath makes the perfect spider web.

I’m sure the spider in the middle will freak out trick or treaters. Or their parents.

5. Packing tape and plastic bags are perfect for ghostly figures.

You wouldn’t want to run into this woman in white. But she certainly has a ghostly presence.

6. No slayer should go without this Jason wreath this Halloween.

Actually this would’ve been much more appropriate last week. But slasher horror fans will love it just the same.

7. Nothing scares trick or treaters like a clown wreath threatening to kidnap them.

And it’s perfect for this Halloween thanks to It and Donald Trump. Creepy and dangerous clowns are in.

8. You wouldn’t want to know what’s in this jack-in-a-box.

Yes, it’s another creepy clown that will give you nightmares. Will definitely freak out onlookers.

9. Looks like someone’s had a very bad lawn accident.

Don’t worry, nobody actually got run over by their lawn mower. But yes, it’s a very gruesome sight.

10. While on the front lawn, stay away from the plants.

This goes especially for the giant man eating plant. Stay away or else you might be its lunch.

11. With these jars on display, your home will be a scream.

These bottles have a lot of stuff inside of them. Each item is as cringe worthy as the next.

12. Seems like skeletons do give bones about competitions.

Sure they may be painted in silver. But you can’t help but laugh at some of the distinctive sashes.

13. There’s no bones about these bony candlesticks.

Okay, the bones aren’t real and thank God. But they’re edged with straw while the candles are sprayed silver.

14. These jack-o-lanterns come well-stacked.

Each of them has a rather sinister smile. Though I’m not sure if they light up.

15. Please don’t go near the caged baby.

Yeah, I know creepy kids and dolls have a special place in horror movies. Best to stay away if you value your life.

16. Greet your scary guests with this black bunch of evergreens.

Comes with a flying witch at the center along with baubles and glitter. And it’s all topped with an orange bow.

17. For a festive Halloween, you can’t go wrong with this witch hat wreath.

The hat in this one has purple and black stripes. Also comes with ribbons and berries.

18. Looks like we have a mouse infestation in this pumpkin.

Well, this is an interesting pumpkin design. But yes, mice in pumpkin holes can gross you out.

19. You’ll find something witchy about this clothespin doll.

Well, not all of the stuff I’ll put on this post is scary. Yet, this witch clothespin doll seems to have vintage feel.

20. Never thought you’d find a crocheted spider web.

Well, that’s quite intricate. But on any web you should always include a spider.

21. You probably wouldn’t want to go down this valley of the dolls.

Well, that’s one way to recycle little girls’ dolls when they get older. Prepare to face this creepy doll army.

22. Nobody could ever refuse these clothespin trick or treaters.

Each of these has their own cone hat, mask, and candy. So adorable.

23. Silver spiders infest this ghoulish bouquet.

Will surely look grand at the Addams family’s dining room table. Though Morticia usually cuts off the flowers and leaves in the stems.

24. When a sign says keep out, it’s best you listen.

You really don’t want to know what’s behind there. Those doll parts make add a rather sinister effect.

25. Foam always makes a bubbly witch’s brew.

Even has some creepy crawlies inside. Wanna try? Thought so.

26. Cones can always be covered like candy corn.

Just use some embroidery floss of white, orange, and yellow and wrap it around. Simple as that.

27. Greet trick or treaters with these monster panels.

Consists of a pumpkin, mummy, ghost, and Frankenstein’s monster. And no, they’re not quite scary. So kids will find them delightful.

28. There’s something spooky about this orange tulle wreath.

It’s even decorated with lights. Also, has the word’s spooky and some bats.

29. How about a mouse on top of your witchy bouquet?

Okay, that’s pretty creepy. Otherwise, it’s a rather resplendent fall flower arrangement.

30. Care to put your candy in a mummy bin?

This trick or treat bucket is perfect for Halloween candy. And it’s so cute even mummies would want it.

31. You’ll find a lit jar on this twisted limb.

Well, this might be a good addition to your spooky yard. Though it could use a few branches.

32. This pot vampire wants to suck your blood.

But he’s more to endear kids like the Count on Sesame Street than Dracula. Comes with a cape.

33. A skull can make a rather handy flower vase.

Certainly makes for a creepy flower arrangement doesn’t it? You can also use moss, twigs, and cobwebs for extra effect.

34. This purple witch hat crawls with spiders.

Sure I know some might use these hats for costumes. But they’re quite elaborate that I just had to include a few.

35. Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like a haunted home.

As far as this sampler states. Kind of a homey addition for any haunted house.

36. Wonder what trick or treat is in this potted pumpkin.

It’s probably more like something you put stuff in. But it’s nonetheless adorable.

37. You’d be dead not to have a Halloween display like this.

Yes, it’s kind of a morbid display. But then again, morbid displays are what Halloween is all about.

38. There’s something batty about this bottle light.

Also, includes spiders as well. And it even lights purple.

39. As this witchy wreath describes, enter if you dare.

Yes, that’s bound to freak out kids trick or treating. So you might want to be careful when seeing this.

40. Keep yourself clean with these jack-o-lantern soap dispensers.

Well, at least none of these aren’t scary. But one has a rather silly face.

41. Want to make doilies spider webs? Just add spiders.

These mostly consist of a doily, picture frame, and plastic spider. An easy craft project decoration you can make with little effort for Halloween.

42. Care for an eye pillow?

No, not that eye pillow. These are pillows of eyeballs. Come in 3 different colors. Perfect for a haunted couch.

43. Instead of a wreath, how about a tulle jack-o-lantern at your front door?

Though the hat and legs kind of creep me out. But I hope trick or treaters can overlook that.

44. An orange grapevine wreath should always include a large witch hat.

The hat has polka dots as well as black and orange bows. So pretty it’s scary.

45. Seems like this wreath is a real spider’s nest.

Yes, I know some people might find this terrifying. But spiders have long been a Halloween staple.

46. With blinds, black paper, and orange lights, you can create your own spooky scene at your window.

It’s not quite scary. But it’s pretty creative with a tree and pumpkins galore.

47. You’d have to be striped mad not to avoid this witchy wreath.

This one has stripes all over the wreath that match the witch legs. Includes a purple hat and orange broom.

48. There’s nothing more festive than a decomesh witch’s hat on your door.

Contains legs and decomesh trimmings below it. Not sure why it has to be so colorful.

49. Digging up a few skulls any time soon?

If you have a rusty wheelbarrow, shovel, and lantern, this is the kind of craft project for you. Best you can put the skulls among the fallen autumn leaves.

50. Wonder what this skeleton is cooking outside.

Okay, I don’t want to know. But, man, that’s a really good Halloween display horror movie fans would want.

51. Once in awhile, someone has to be caught up in a spider web.

Yes, it’s bound to freak people out and confirm their worst fears. But you have to admire how creative this is. Yet, stay away from the spiders.

52. Someone must’ve gotten stuck in the chimney.

Odd, considering that Santa goes down chimney’s on Christmas Eve with very little trouble. But this is hilarious.

53. A witch’s boot can make a lovely bouquet vase.

Contains twigs and all kinds of things. Perfect for any witchy lair.

54. Seems like one witch didn’t know what fell on her.

But please don’t take off the ruby slippers. Or else her sister will go epically batshit on you.

55. Turn flower pots upside down and you’ve got a couple of pumpkins in your patch.

These pot pumpkins seem happy. And the best part is, you don’t have to throw them away in November.

56. You’d never guess what she’s cooking in her witch’s brew.

This is another flower pot witch. But she has flowers growing from her cauldron.

57. Reading this sign, you’d wander where something wicked this way comes.

From what I see, I’d rather stay where I am. Also, it’s covered with cobwebs.

58. No spooky Halloween is complete without this a felt wreath like this.

I bet this wreath would more likely be found in an elementary school. Because it seems more cute than scary.

59. A black witch hat should always contain a few feathers.

Has a bright green bow with a couple of skulls. Along with purple pom poms and a spider web.

60. Grace your Halloween coffee table with some black potion bottles.

As you can see, you can make any bottle a potion cask. Be sure to paint them black and keep them together.

61. You can always greet trick or treaters with a skull in your lantern.

Not sure if it lights up. But it’ll certainly scare the kiddies on Halloween night.

62. Better keep away while this witch brews her cauldron.

Don’t worry, she’s a mannequin. So it’s unlikely she’ll kidnap children and eat them.

63. Baubles always make cauldron bubbles.

This one has different colored baubles over a bubbling cauldron. Got to love the word “Spooky” on top.

64. Now your child can play with these ghoulish peg dolls during Halloween night.

Includes a ghost, skeleton, witch, vampire, Frankenstein’s monster, jack-o-lantern, and mummy. Sure they may not freak people out but they’re so adorable it’s scary.

65. Seems like you have a skeleton rising from his grave.

Even has the ground light up beneath. But the light up eyes can be truly terrifying.

66. You wouldn’t want to run into this scarecrow jack-o-lantern.

Has a jack-o-lantern head and carries pumpkins. Great for getting kids off your lawn.

67. From top to bottom, these jack-o-lanterns are all stacked in black and white.

And yes, all these light up at night. Similar to the previous stacked pumpkins. But these are incredibly eerie.

68. This ghoul always keeps to himself on the stool.

But you might not want to look into the face. But it’s a truly terrifying sight at this angle.

69. Your little witch can always cuddle with these trick or treaters.

One of these is an amigurumi witch. The other is dressed as a pumpkin. Bot hare adorable it’s eerie.

70. On Halloween you can’t resist these eerie flower pot figures.

Includes a vampire, witch, mummy, and werewolf. But they’re guaranteed to scare no one. Save the neighbors during a home decorating contest.

71. You’d always want to curl up with these amigurumi cats.

One of these is a black witch cat. The other is a scarecrow. Both are cute for any Halloween couch.

72. Horror movie fans will simply adore this Chucky amigurumi.

Sure he may be a serial killing doll. But he just looks too cute to die for as a crocheted plushie.

73. These Halloween amigurumi comprise of a real monster mash.

Includes a pink haired witch, vampire, Frankenstein’s monster, black cat, and ghost. Still, you can’t resist these monstrous plushies.

74. Greet ghoulish guests with this feathery festive Halloween wreath.

The feathers are mostly black. And it’s touched with a bow and some candy corn on branches.

75. You wouldn’t believe to see a crow on a ledge at home.

And I call it a crow because ravens are bigger. But ravens are still crows, technically.

76. Roses and skeletons always look resplendent on a tulle wreath.

It’s black with purple strips on them. Still, the flowers are incredibly lovely.

77. A mad scientist can never do without their own apothecary set.

Of course, this might take a long time to pull off. The piece is painted black with all kinds of bottles and other accessories.

78. For a creepy chateau, welcome your guests with this black tulle wreath.

Includes a crow in the center along with purple flowers. And yes, it’s quite pretty.

79. Silver always goes well on a witch’s hat.

Has black feathers with silver leaves, flowers, and twigs. Fitting for any witch who wants to look good at a Halloween party.

80. Nothing makes your Halloween complete like a set of spooky nesting dolls.

Includes a ghost, Frankenstein’s monster, jack-o-lantern, black cat, and night I think. But they’re quite eerily designed.

81. Got old lightbulbs? Make potion bottles out of them.

Though it’s a certain kind of light bulb. Because a regular one has a round bottom. And an energy saving one is a coil.

82. You’d think this woman had just lost her head.

This a screen with a woman taking her own head off. Creepy but great for any Halloween home.

83. A black tulle wreath is magnificent with shiny flowers.

Well, it has orange and purple flowers. But it’s a wonderful wreath to have at your haunted home.

84. This Halloween wreath is all eyes.

Well, it’s full of eyeballs with eyes you’d find at a craft store. Yes, it’s incredibly creepy.

85. Crocheted ghost place mats are the height of horror hospitality.

You can use as a cozy on almost anything. Though it makes a rather eerie place setting.

86. Seems like we found a sick horror show in somebody’s basement.

Yes, some Halloween decorations are incredibly disturbing. The severed head and arm give me the creeps.

87. You’d think someone got murdered by looking at this towel.

This bloody towel is rather easy to do. But I’m sure that’s red dye, not blood.

88. You’d be wise to watch out for these big eyed monster.

The wreath is covered with feathers and large googly eyes. More cute than creepy.

89. You wouldn’t want to run into this fiend in the front lawn.

Guess this one was horror movie inspired. Creepy as hell. Guaranteed to give you nightmares.

90. This grapevine wreath is a perfect crow’s nest.

This one is an oval wreath with a crow in the center. A modest decoration that’s great for any haunted home.

91. Curl up on your couch with this eerie Halloween quilt.

This is a rather haunted scene. And it mostly consists of orange, black, and yellow.

92. On this deco mesh wreath you find a spider web.

It’s mostly black and purple with a web and spiders all around. A haunted door must have for Halloween.

93. You can hang these ghosts on any arch way.

These mostly consist of masks and deco mesh cloth. Very scary but cool.

94. You’re bound to find a spider infestation on this door way.

I’m sure this would make an arachnaphobe go nuts. But it’s bound to do well in any Halloween decorating contest.

95. A hefty trash bag and duct tape makes a great body bag.

I know it’s kind of creepy. But it’s perfect for a crime scene themed Halloween home.

96. A crow wreath always stands out if you add a chain.

Yes, this is a wreath with chains. And yes, it’s good for any nightmare den on Halloween.

97. There’s something rather batty about this chandelier.

It has a lot of bats on the lampshades. This would be a scream at a Halloween party.

98. An orange wreath with black lace should always go over an old window.

Includes a couple of crows. Yet, it’s bound to make a home even more haunted.

99. Grace your front door with a wreath of flowers and cobwebs.

Has cobwebs on one side and black flowers on the other. Skull is near the bottom.

100. This raven can always match this black tulle wreath with flowers.

Has black and purple flowers with a crow on the top. So lovely for a haunted home for Halloween.

Halloween Party Tricks or Treats (But Mostly Treats, Sort of) (Fourth Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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Of course, it’s that time of year again when we make dress into costumes, watch horror movies, and decorate our homes with scary decorations. Not to mention, it’s such a popular holiday that some people look more forward to the end of October than Christmas. Nevertheless, if you’re holding a party at your house, you might want to stay on this blog if you’re willing to withstand the stomach churning, gut wrenching, and unappetizing grub I have on this post. Sure this is the fourth Halloween treat post I’ve done. But each one has featured some disgusting morsels that would scare your appetite. Of course, you might try these terrifying treats on Halloween in order to not displease your horrifying host. But save on the occasional Friday the 13th, you might want to avoid these most of the year, especially Christmas. Well, unless you want to throw a Nightmare Before Christmas party. So for your reading pleasure, feast your eyes on another assortment of some gruesome Halloween grub.

  1. Your guests will get all wrapped up in these mummy Milanos.

But the new Mummy movie with Tom Cruise not so much. Hope you have plenty of white icing for the wraps.

2. People go crawling for some spider macaroons.

Okay, they may not taste like Oreo cookies. But even those afraid of spiders can’t resist these.

3. Instead of a trick or treat bag, how about a trick or treat cake?

Though please unwrap the candy before putting it on the cake. Still, the jack-o-lantern design is adorable.

4. How about you try an eyeball?

Bet these are small candy bites. But yes, you get gruesome food like this on Halloween.

5. Enjoy your Halloween night with some pumpkin hand pies.

And yes, they have jack-o-lantern faces carved in. Though the filling doesn’t exactly look like pumpkin. More like apple.

6. It’s widely said that pumpkin artichoke puke is quite tasty.

I posted a similar puking pumpkin before but it was green. Yet, on the bright side, it goes well with crackers.

7. These spider brownies will make you scream with delight.

Their 8 legs are made from pretzels. While they have large eyes and fangs.

8. No little ghoul could ever resist these Frankencookies.

Well, they’re mostly green and come in all sizes. Though you may not like the gumdrop noses.

9. Refresh yourself at any Halloween party with some shrunken head punch.

The heads are peeled apples by the way. But I can understand why this image would make you puke.

10. These witchy marshmallow pops will put you under a spell.

Each one is dipped in green icing and topped with a cone hat. Not sure what the hat’s made of.

11. Grace your dessert platter with some mummy cookie bits.

All are dipped in white icing with chocolate chip eyes. Has some drizzle to resemble wraps.

12. Send your kid to school with this ghostly lunch.

Has a bunch of ghoulish goodies no child could resist. And yes, the cheese is white and ghostly on that sandwich.

13. Black cat cookies won’t bring you bad luck at your party.

Yes, black cats may look scary. But most of them are just regular cats unlike what the Edgar Allan Poe story.

14. No Halloween party is ever complete without finger breadsticks.

Comes with a cheesy sauce. But these look quite easy to make. Just spice up the tips for the nail.

15. These gingerbread voo doo doll cookies will put you in stitches.

Well, these look quite cute with button eyes and a stitched heart. But if you love Tim Burton movies, these are for you.

16. For a spooky dessert platter, you have to feast on these jack-o-lantern cookies.

Make sure they have pumpkin spice in them. Since such flavor is more appropriate for them. While the notion of a pumpkin spice latte is utterly ridiculous.

17. These eyeball cupcakes is certainly eye-catching.

Each of them contain a lifesaver iris of your choice. But the icing is always white and bloodshot.

18. If you like The Walking Dead, take a bite out of these cookies.

Each of them contains a horrific injury designed to amuse you. Some even have severed attributes. Gory but fun.

19. These ghosts are especially cheesy.

Though they seem quite small to fit on a cracker. Then again, this is a big cracker.

20. Dip your hotdogs in some spider web sauce.

It mostly consists of ketchup and mustard in a spiderweb design. Though the aesthetics don’t look easy.

21. With these cookies, it’s always a trick or treat.

Each one seems to either have chocolate chips or mini M&Ms. Comes in ghost, pumpkin, coffin, and tombstone.

22. For your appetizer platter, this cheesy skull is a scream.

This one has olive eyes and almond slice teeth. Dip goes great with crackers.

23. All eyes are on these monstrous cupcakes.

This one’s eyes are made from licorice with mini marshmallows and mini M&Ms. Still, you might have to put them apart to eat them.

24. These Rice Krispie bars are full of monstrosities.

They basically consist of Rice Krispie treats dipped in icing and sprinkles with eyes on them. Though they’re more cute than scary.

25. On Halloween morning, wake up batty.

These are pancakes shaped as bats. Sure they aren’t black but they’re adorable.

26. Be free to drink your Gatorade from an IV bag.

Bet these were made from a nurse. Comes in 4 different colors. Though I think water will make them more scary looking.

27. These cookies seem especially witchy to me.

Has a green face with black hats. And yes, they’re more adorable than scary.

28. Of course, you might know that some pumpkin hand pies can be used for anything other than dessert.

Though whether it’s savory or dessert depends on the dough composition and filling. These have spinach dip filling and are composed of a savory crust.

29. On Halloween, half moon pies have ghoulish faces.

They’re basically made out of the same stuff the pumpkin pies I previously showed. But their faces are quite eerie.

30. Nobody could resist such nightmarish ghostly fudge.

Yes, stick your teeth in these unearthly delights. Or else, resistance will haunt your appetite.

31. Take a slice out of some flayed face cake.

Okay, that makes me want to puke my guts out. But it’s great for Halloween parties with a slasher horror theme.

32. This graveyard cake always appears well infested.

Yes, I’ve shown quite a few of them in my Halloween treat post. This one is no different. But it includes gummy worms and candy corn.

33. Want to try a chocolate mouse or two?

Yes, we all know they’re considered disgusting vermin that cause diseases. But on Halloween, they’re a delectable spooky treat.

34. A moon cake makes for an especially eerie Halloween night.

Though be sure to decorate it with cookie bats. Otherwise, it’s just a moon cake.

35. Nothing spooks your appetite like some spider cracker sandwiches.

Each one consists of ham in the middle with raisin eyes. Not sure what the legs are made of.

36. These cupcakes are simply monstrous.

Consists of monsters, mummies, pumpkins, and skulls. But they’re more cute than scary.

37. Dip your chip into some nacho pumpkin cheese.

It’s a pumpkin cheeseball covered in Doritos and olives. Has a pickle for a stem.

38. This cupcake could only scare a crow.

Has an ice cream cone as its hat. Though remove the candy corn nose before consumption.

39.  How would like to tear away this jack-o-lantern.

Well, it’s a tear away cupcake cake of a jack-o-lantern. And they all seem like they’re chocolate.

40. There’s something crawling from this cake.

This is a spider cake, obviously. The spiders are plastic and are only used for decorations.

41. Not sure if the ghost is scarier than the tree.

These cupcakes have a ghost in the front. But the tree in the back is quite frightening.

42. You might want to take these sandwiches to the grave.

Not sure what the filling supposed to be. But it has “RIP” in pepper slices.

43. Want to take a bite out of these bagel pizzas under wraps?

Well, these mummy pizzas are covered in cheese. But you’d be crazy not to see these as adorable.

44. Help yourself to some pita pumpkins.

They also seem to come with cheese. Also, is that a tortilla inside?

45. Now this dessert must be a monstrous treat.

Each of the strawberries has fangs. Might want to be careful taking a bite. Well, before the mouths bite you.

46. Might want to take a bite of some ghostly corn bread.

Sure they may not be white ghosts. But they’re great for any haunted dinner.

47. Nothing makes a spooky dinner like some spider pizza.

The spider consists of pepperoni and bacon. Also, contains olive eyes.

48. Grace your dessert platter with this webby cake.

This one has a more intricate design. But add a spider, then you have a webbed cake for any Halloween party.

49. There’s nothing greener on Halloween like a Frankencake.

It’s a Frankenstein cake. More cute than scary though. Mostly because it’s catered to kids.

50. For a Halloween barbecue, you might want a taste of these chilling cheeseburgers.

Each one has a cheese slice of a pumpkin and ghost. Not sure which one I’d want.

51. These iced pretzels make a rather spooky Halloween snack.

Consists of pumpkins, mummies, and monsters. Some of the monsters have chocolate and vanilla eyes.

52. How about a jello eyeball or two?

Okay, that’s pretty disgusting. The blood seems to make it looks worse.

53. For healthier options, perhaps some jello melon brain may suit you.

Well, not sure how much melon is in it. But jello really makes it look incredibly bloody.

54. No dessert can be scarier than an eyeball bite.

Each one is attached to a fork. Because it looks more gruesome that way.

55. This cheesecake comes complete with a chocolate spider web.

This one seems more like a gourmet dessert than the others. But the spider and web give it a Halloween touch.

56. You will certainly be swept away with these witch hat and brooms.

Consists of Oreos with pretzel sticks. Guess the top is made from a Hershey’s kiss.

57. Candy corn buns always go best with a spooky supper.

But you can bet that these are more delicious than the actual candy. Because candy corn isn’t meant for human consumption.

58. Care to try some green fingers?

They’re basically cookies with red nails. But you’d be starved to find them in this cauldron.

59. You can’t do without this cake during the graveyard shift.

This is certainly a chocolate delight with a chocolate fence. Wouldn’t mind a piece of this.

60. Serve your Halloween party guests a dish of eyeball casserole.

Despite its gruesome name, it’s basically taco salad. Those eyeballs mostly consist of olive slices and cheese.

61. This Halloween, feast on some eyeball pasta.

This one has cheese eyes and green pasta. Hope you have an appetite for this.

62. Nothing makes a better Halloween lunch like these pumpkin biscuit sandwiches.

Definitely the kind you’d want on a cold afternoon. Hope they don’t give you the spooks.

63. You’d find something ghostly inside this cake.

I can never understand how you can put cake images in these without mixing the batters. Also has icing and sprinkles on the top.

64. You’d be spiked for this pepperoni head.

This is a likeness of some horror movie villain I don’t know about. I’m sure this will be a hit for slasher horror fans.

65. There’s something slimy about this snake bread.

These two loaves are dyed with red and yellow stripes. But don’t worry, neither are poisonous. So enjoy.

66. Dare to try some deviled eyeball eggs.

They’re also bloodshot and red to incite more fright. Great for any gruesome appetizer platter.

67. Any witch should help herself to some full moon dip.

The chips on here are black and shaped as witches on brooms. One is on top of the dip that’s mostly cheese.

68. Help yourself to a severed hand pie.

Don’t worry, that’s cherry filling not blood. But you have to cut these pies in half upon serving.

69. No Halloween dinner is complete without a pumpkin baked potato.

Is cheesy on the surface with pepper nose and eyes. The mouth is made of bacon.

70. Everyone should slither to this snake cake.

I’ve had this one in my Halloween treat file for years. At least I get to finally use it this time.

71. You might want to be wary of this ghoulish pumpkin pie.

Well, one of the pumpkins is a normal jack-o-lantern. The other will give you nightmares.

72. You’d be scared not to eat these monster cupcakes.

These have different kinds of attributes. Some have multiple eyes and legs.

73. This black cat cheese ball has plenty of room for crackers.

Well, it’s not exactly a black cat. But it does look adorable I wouldn’t want to put that knife in it.

74. How about a jack-o-lantern pizza on a bun?

This one mostly consists of cheese with olive attributes. Though cheddar isn’t exactly pumpkin orange.

75. You’d be dumb to ignore these brain cookies.

Well, these are cookies with brains on top. Delectable with any zombie in need of brains.

76. Pumpkin dip can be especially cheesy.

It’s basically jack-o-lantern nacho dip. Black chips are the eyes and nose. Olives consist of the mouth.

77. No ghastly feast is complete without eyeball bread.

Sure they’re not as disgusting as the other eyeball treats. But the olives are always at the center.

78. Hope you don’t get spooked by a chocolate jack-o-lantern.

Well, it’s a chocolate jack-o-lantern cake. The facial attributes are lined with white chocolate chips.

79. No party guest can ever resist these kitty cupcakes.

Each one of these is covered with sprinkles with candy eyes and ears. So cute that it’s scary.

80. With this cake, the moon is full.

It’s a yellow iced cake that has candy bats. Surely it’s scary but quite simple.

Celebrate the Stars and Stripes Forever with These Star Spangled 4th of July Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

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On with the craft projects. As the 4th of July is a celebration of America’s birthday, many people in the country tend to splurge on star spangled decorations. In this picture alone, you have American flags, American flag decorations, and figures of Uncle Sam. Yet, while plenty of party stores and retail outlets are happy to sell patriotic paraphernalia, some people take it a bit further by making their own. Yes, red, white and blue are the dominant colors.  And some of these often depict stars and stripes like you see on the American flag. Of course, many of these might violate the US Flag Code but it’s not that anyone pays attention to it anyone unless someone burns a flag in public protest. But that’s talking about an earlier post I did years ago. Anyway, for your reading pleasure, I give you another treasure trove of 4th of July craft projects for your home and yard.

  1. To mark the 4th, perhaps you might want to go with this.

It’s a wooden 4 that’s blue with white stars. Helps someone used a red and white string to tie it for emphasis.

2. In a more rustic setting, a red berry wreath with a star will do.

But don’t forget topping it with a blue ribbon. Otherwise, someone might mistake it for a Christmas wreath.

3. Nothing brings out one’s love of country like this 4th of July tree.

Yes, I know they do these trees for every holiday now. But at least it’s red, white, and blue.

4. A burlap patriotic wreath brings a homespun American touch.

Includes wooden letters “USA” and red, white, and blue stars. Love the navy blue bow, too.

5. Sometimes all you need is a simple white wreath.

Though be sure to include a red and white striped background and a navy blue ribbon with white stars. And the display should be in a white wooden frame.

6. The stars and stripes should be painted on a large wooden panel.

Because nothing emphasizes America than a flag painted on aged wood. Great for any American home.

7. Welcome guests on the 4th of July with this red, white, and blue deco mesh wreath.

Sure the colors seem to run together. But you have to admire the navy blue ribbon and stars.

8. Or perhaps you prefer a wreath of ribbons.

This one uses several consisting of stripes and stars configurations. Like how the stars give it charm.

9. You can’t set your table at a 4th of July barbecue without burlap cutlery bags with the flag.

Because it’s likely that you might need something to keep the cutlery from blowing off the table. Still, like the painted flag.

10. No American couch should be without this patriotic pillow.

Consists of a red and white striped pillow with a navy blue bow of white stars. Great for any American furniture piece but the dining room table.

11. Welcome your guests this 4th of July by hanging this star spangled wreath.

Like how it has red, white, and blue stars hanging from blue ribbons. Not sure what the wreath material is though.

12. For 4th of July and fun in the sun, may I suggest this star-spangled flip flop wreath?

Though keep in mind that, “flip flop” describes the sandals not senators. Has red flowers and blue sunglasses in the center.

13. A wreath wrapped in a flag can look quite stunning in a window frame.

Though the window frame is much to be desired. But it makes a fine outdoor decoration regardless.

14. If you’re not a fan of wreaths, you might want to try a star.

Well, it’s a rustic 5 pointed star with an American flag and pussy willows tied in a ribbon. Love it.

15. How about an American flag wreath with paper roses?

Well, dried roses anyway. But I know dried roses when I see them. Still, this is quite lovely.

16. A deco mesh wreath should always contain an Uncle Sam hat.

Helps if the deco mesh is lined with silver and the hat is shiny. Great to put on any American door.

17. If you want to use organic materials, this patriotic pine cone wreath is for you.

Well, if you live near an evergreen forest, then the pinecones should be easy to find. If not, there’s always the craft stores. But this wreath is simply stunning.

18. Even flag stands should have stars and stripes on them.

After all, flags need something to stand on besides the ground. Yet, you can always fit a star or 2 on the blue.

19. A 4th of July wreath should always have stars and stripe ribbons.

Though you can also add lace as a finishing touch. Also like the white lace. Very classy.

20. Wooden stars on sticks always belong in a flower pot bouquet.

Includes some red, white, and blue stars as well as a large American flag one. Love it.

21. Celebrate your love for America with these wooden blocks spelling the US of A.

Consists of a blue U, a red S, and an American flag decorated A. Bet the A stands for America and therefore, has to be the fanciest.

22. On this panel, it’s “God Bless America.”

And it’s all painted in the classic red, white, and blue. Great for any American house or porch.

23. No woman should be in the kitchen without this star spangled apron.

I had a few of these aprons on last year’s craft post. But this one mostly consists of navy blue with white stars.

24. Any all-American house should have a set of all-American firecrackers.

Okay, these are made from wood and don’t actually explode. But they all have star spangled designs you can’t resist.

25. How about a star-spangled address block to mark your house?

This one uses tiles of red, white, and blue to give a stars and stripes look. Wonderful for any American garden.

26. Nothing expresses the American spirit like a star spangled wreath of tulle.

Unlike the tulle wreath in last year’s post, it has more stars and more stripes. Also like how it looks on the door.

27. Celebrate the 4th of July in your home with these star-spangled shutters.

Well, they’re recycled shutters. But they’re both painted with stripes and a unique star design on top.

28. Red, white, and blue stars should always stick together.

So you have to tie these up with a burlap and rag ribbon. Still, I’m sure they’re all different sizes.

29. How about a wreath with more stripes and a few stars?

Not sure if the blue on here consists of feathers. But it’s rather an interesting design to have on your door.

30. As we all know, liberty is what Americans hold most sacred.

It even lights up and has an American flag. Yet, the panel of “Liberty” outshines all.

31. Hope you’re fine with 2 flags in one basket.

This one has some berries in it as well. Like the stars on it. So quaint.

32. Perhaps a wall hanging of stars with rag stripes will do.

Well, the stars aren’t in a neat in tidy shape. But they don’t necessarily have to be. After all, it’s the motifs that count.

33. Now your kids can enjoy their 4th of July with star studded chalk.

Available in only red, white, and blue. Because those are the colors of the American flag.

34. Curl up on the couch this 4th of July with this star spangled pillow.

This one has the blue star pattern as star on a striped background. Looks best next to the one with the bow.

35. 1776 should always be enshrined on a berry branch wreath.

Of course, the year itself should be framed amongst a copy of the Declaration of Independence. Just for good measure.

36. A red, white, and blue wreath of yarn is just as nice.

But the wreath appears purple because the strands appear so intertwined. Still, like the red, white, and blue flowers.

37. Care to honor America with flowers?

And as you see, the flowers are red. But you have to adore the fancy ribbons and stars.

38. Step out of your home this 4th of July with a pair of patriotic tennis shoes.

Though the shoes don’t really seem to match. But they have the same stars and stripe patterns if only in different places.

39. Let freedom ring with this American flag wind chime.

It’s mostly made of metal with a small plate of stars. But it’ll sure let freedom sing with the wind.

40. Make your 4th of July barbecue guests feel welcome with this burlap wreath.

This one uses a rather simple design with one star tied to the side. But I’m sure many will want this on their door.

41. These wooden firecrackers can use a few stars on them.

Well, at least the red and blue ones. The white one just gets nothing. Even has a tag saying, “USA.”

42. For a table centerpiece, place some flowers in some star spangled bricks.

This looks easy, assuming that the flowers are fake. Comes with a single blue brick with a white star.

43. Grace your home with this old-fashioned American flag dress display.

Keep in mind, this is a dress meant for decoration. Not for wearing. Still, like the golden stars and flag.

44. Perhaps a flower wreath should come with stars and ribbons.

Well, it may not look like the flower wreath I had on my craft post last year. But it certainly evokes 4th of July fun.

45. Nothing makes your 4th of July worthwhile than a red, white, and blue birdhouse.

Helps if it has a place to put your flower pots. Each birdhouse comes with a stand of the same red, white, and blue configuration.

46. Light up your 4th of July with these mason jar candle holders.

These consist of mason jars filled with different colors of art sand. And each one is tied with a red and white striped bow.

47. Want your fireworks to sparkle and shine? Get some red, white, and blue sequins.

Well, sequin discs you use in craft projects in art class. Still, you can make plenty of patterns with them on these wooden firecrackers.

48. Get yourself clean the American way with some stars and stripes soap.

Okay, most Americans use regular soap. But this is a 4th of July post. So American themed soap is shown here.

49. If you don’t have stars, buttons will do fine.

Well, buttons are just as good as stars for a wreath like this. Kind of gives this rag wreath a certain character.

50. A stars and stripes flower pot is great for a 4th of July bouquet.

Even if they have to consist of red, white, and blue carnations. Yet, it also includes shiny stars for patriotic emphasis.

51. If you love “America the Beautiful,” then you’ll like this wooden panel.

Though to be fair, the song was written by a lesbian who had a partner for 25 years. Bet they didn’t teach you that in history class.

52. If you don’t like wreath, then show your American pride with this American flag star.

Even has some patriotic ribbons to go along with it. Kind of has a whimsical shape to it.

53. Got any corks? Make a flag from them to hang.

I suppose most of these come from a craft store. Or at least I hope they come from one. Still, like the silver stars on it.

54. Nothing says you’re love for America than a shadowbox of paper flowers.

Well, paper flowers configured into an American flag, of course. Sure it has 9 stars but it’s the impression that counts.

55. This dresser is a must have for any American woman.

This one has an American flag painted on it. Hope whoever made this can get used to it all year round.

56. As you can see, this only sings the song of liberty.

Yes, it’s another patriotic wind chime. But it has the blue and stars on top.

57. There’s nothing more patriotic than an American flag made from shotgun shells.

Well, according to some NRA members. But as someone who doesn’t like guns, I beg to differ.

58. With this chair, you can find the Star-Spangled Banner at your seat.

Though many might view sitting on the American flag as desecration. Yet, most Americans would probably buy this anyway.

59. Never thought I’d see a metal flag before.

It’s even on a wavy metal sheet to resemble the American flag flying freely. Great to hang in any American home.

60. You’d almost think the flag was waving in this frame.

It’s actually an old shutter painted as the American flag. But you probably wouldn’t notice that.

61. Perhaps a 4th of July bandanna wreath would suit you.

Though keep in mind, bandanas often have some bad connotations to them since they’ve been banned by school dress codes. Still, you have to admire the stars on this.

62. Cinder block planters always shine in red, white, and blue.

Though they’re also heavy to lift as well. Might want to stick to wood or plastic instead.

63. Sometimes a simple decoration can say it best.

This is just a simple white yarn wreath with blue stars and American flag bows. So simple yet so lovely.

64. Every American couch should have a stars and stripes pillow.

Didn’t know they had a red pattern with white stars. Still, I’ve seen similar ones with different configurations.

65. Celebrate your 4th of July with some American flag china.

These may not be actual crafts. But they’ll sure be perfect for your Independence Day barbecue.

66. May this patriotic mason jar be a beacon of liberty in your home.

It even has a light to illuminate your party during the fireworks. Doesn’t seem quite hard to make.

67. This glass apothecary jar is filled with some of the finest American kidney beans.

As to how they managed to find red, white, and blue ones is a mystery to me. Oh, wait, they used black ones for the blue.

68. No little girl should celebrate the 4th without wearing an American flag dress.

Well, that’s a cute little dress. And it’s sure to make any girl a star-spangled darling.

69. A rustic wreath should have a flag and star.

It also has burlap and a berry wreath around the white star. Love it.

70. A rag wreath like this on the 4th of July is as good as any.

This one seems to have mostly red with white polka dots. But it’s just as patriotic nonetheless.

71. Perhaps you might want to stick a bunch of flags in one basket.

Well, you see a lot of American flag displays like this one. But I’m not sure if that’s overdoing it.

72. These star spangled flower pots make perfect patriotic planters.

These have stripes on the brim and stars on the pot. At any rate, they tend to be stacked together for height.

73. Nothing makes a 4th of July barbecue like a star spangled chair.

This one has a star back and a striped bottom. Hope it goes with a set and a table to match.

74. A 4th of July table should be star studded along the border.

And as a matter of fact, this one definitely is. Love it. So pretty.

75. A navy blue star is always stellar on a striped canvas.

Well, it may not look like the flag. But it’s in red, white, and blue just the same.

76. A glass block of the American flag is always stunning in beads.

This one uses shiny pears as stars. Nevertheless, I adore it and wonder if it lights up.

77.  By painting an American flag, you can turn a crate into a planter.

Just has a few stripes and 9 stars. But as long as it resembles a flag, I’ll take it.

78. Wooden firecrackers should always come with wooden stars.

Each of these has red white and blue to show for it. Yes, I’ve shown several of these but they’re popular 4th of July decorations.

79. A pallet doesn’t always have to resemble an American flag.

But as long as it has the basic stars and stripes, it can work. Wouldn’t mind hanging this on my wall.

80. These star-spangled firecrackers make for a spectacular 4th of July display.

One has stripes. One has stars. And one has both stars and stripes. But all have rope wicks.

81. Looks like these fireworks bring a lot of explosive fun.

This one has shiny stuff coming out of it and patriotic bows. And all on a red wood platform.

82. Let your clothes dry this Fourth of July with these American flag clothes pins.

Yes, these exist. And they just require you painting an American flag on them. Though that might be hard to pull off.

83. It’s always anchors away with this maritime wreath.

Has an anchor at the center and American flags on the sides. And the wreath is covered with rope.

84. There’s nothing more American to carry around with you than an American flag tote bag.

It’s just a tote bag with stars and stripes painted on there. Pretty ingenious if you think about it.

85. No woman can be in her 4th of July best without these star-spangled earrings.

These are probably not meant for my ears. But they’ll surely go well with any red, white, and blue outfit.

86. Show your love for America this 4th of July with this set of wooden blocks.

Consists of a map of the US, the 4th, fireworks, stripes, and a star. Looks great on any American mantle.

87. This patriotic kitty can always make America proud.

Well, is an amigurumi kitty. And she’s even waving an American flag. So cute.

88. With smaller flower pots, you can make some spectacular candle holders.

Well, they’re small pots so the candles can fit in them. But they sure consist of stellar designs.

89. If you don’t have a real flag, a ribbon one will do.

This one has a felt union with sequin stars and ribbon and lace stripes. Great project for those with scraps.

90. You surely can’t be without these flower pots at your 4th of July barbecue.

Each one is designated for forks, knives, and spoons. And each is in a patriotic motif.

91. All these firecrackers need is an American flag.

They’re also on a white wooden platform. Each one has stripes and a star on top.

92. With enough of the right burlap scraps you can make an American flag wreath pin.

Also, has buttons for stars. Kind of nifty idea. Wonder what this will go with.

93. You can even have an American flag on a basket.

Now that’s a funny way to show patriotism. Then again, I kind of prefer the flags be in the basket than on one.

94. Light up your 4th of July with this American flag candle log.

You can put a bunch of candles on it. It’s also painted with stars and stripes.

95. You can’t do wrong hanging red, white, and blue stars.

These are quite stunning. And once you cut out the stars, it’s easy to make.

96. A red, white, and blue star is pure patriotic splendor.

It’s made from wood which is mostly red and white. And it has a blue bar of stars. So lovely.

97. You’d see sparks coming from these dowel fireworks.

Well, the sparks seem to consist of yellow stars. But the blue gingham ribbon ties them all together.

98. Red and white flowers make for a simple 4th of July wreath.

Well, simpler than some of the other wreaths with flowers. Love the navy blue bow.

99. This American flag quilt is a real patchwork.

It’s an especially perfect American quilt for a patchwork nation. Because the US is a nation of diversity. Anyone who doesn’t believe that should get their racist head out of their ass.

100. Drape your American couch with this quality 4th of July quilt.

This is a quality quilt that seemed to win a prize. Anyway, it has an eagle with flag shield. Love it.

Salute the Red, White, and Blue United States of America with These Patriotic 4th of July Treats (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

4th-Dessert-Bar.3

Though now is the winter of my discontent as an American citizen, I understand that I must try to keep the patriotic fervor alive as far as the 4th of July is concerned. Celebrating America’s birthday on the 4th of July is supposed to be a festive and uproarious occasion. But since the 2016 Election, the American spirit we associate with Independence Day isn’t with me at the moment. The fact so many people I knew and cared about voted for such an unrespectable man who’s now in the White House was a profound sense of betrayal for me. It has only gotten worse since the House passed the morally indefensible American Healthcare Act and the Senate is trying to pass their healthcare plan in the most undemocratic way possible. Not to mention, the fact so many people seem to stand by and make excuses for Donald Trump no matter what he does, what longstanding rules he breaks, who he hurts, or how his presidency is becoming an utter disaster. For the first time in my life, I feel ashamed for my country as if Trump’s presidential candidacy has led millions of people to abandon our most cherished American values out racism and their own selfish reasons. But anyway, I must continue with my holiday posts though any pride or faith I have in my country is almost shattered. Well, here’s another assortment of 4th of July treats so you can celebrate your barbecue. Enjoy.

  1. This 4th of July, grace your patriotic dessert table with this sparkling cake.

It’s a cake with sparkler candles and red and blue sprinkles. Make sure the sparklers go out before serving.

2. There’s a lot of explosive energy with these cupcakes.

And since it’s the 4th of July, they have red, white, and blue icing. What can be more patriotic than that?

3. Wake up this 4th of July to an American flag waffle.

Contains strawberries, blueberries, and banana. But you may used whipped cream if you want.

4. A red, white, and blue rose iced cake is a patriotic treat.

Well, you have to admire the icing on this one. Cause I’m sure nobody but a cake decorator can pull this off.

5. Let Old Glory wave with these red, white, and blue cupcakes.

Sure it may not resemble the American flag exactly. But the stars and stripes is a hard one to replicate in food.

6. For your dessert platter, may I suggest these Rice Krispie balls?

Each one is iced with red, white, and blue sprinkles. It’s a simple but patriotic treat.

7. Nothing makes a 4th of July barbecue more American than this 7 layer dip.

Now that’s a work of artisanship here. Not sure if I’d want to dip a nacho in this. Might desecrate a sacred image. Though Trump already has.

8. Or you can go with a pepperoni, cheese, and nacho snack platter.

Though the nachos on this one are blue which is weird. Seriously, why do these things exist?

9. Feast your eyes on these star-spangled cupcakes.

This one has striped and star cupcakes. Sure they’re professionally made. But they’re perfect for an Independence Day barbecue.

10. There’s something crackling about this 4th of July cake.

Yes, it looks like a giant cupcake with a firecracker on it. But it’s one of a kind like America.

11. As we all know, it’s whether you bleed red, white, and blue on the inside that counts.

As you can see, you’ll find the colors in this cupcake. May not see it on the outside at first though.

12. No proud patriotic partier can ever resist these red, white, and blue cupcakes.

This one has red, white, and blue filling and star sprinkles. Hope this can satisfy your star-spangled urges.

13. For a fruity treat, may I suggest red, white, and blue jello?

Well, it looks similar to a previous one I showed a couple years back. But this one has more whipped cream and less cherries.

14. For a simple treat, you might want to go with some patriotic pretzel sticks.

Requires pretzel sticks, icing and sprinkles. But make sure the sprinkles are red, white, and blue.

15. Celebrate the 4th of July with some patriotic pudding pops.

Well, they’re quite small compared to popsicles. But at least they make a cool summer treat.

16. Nothing makes a 4th of July party like strawberry and blueberry trifle.

Because, you know red, white, and blue. Though they didn’t include the whipped cream.

17. For a more sweet disposition, I suppose an M&M flag cake can suit your fancy.

Don’t worry, they do have 4th of July M&Ms for this. Yet, once you bake the cake, decorating should be a breeze.

18. Ice cream cookies are always a tasty treat.

Yes, they’re scoop cookies on ice cream cones with red, white, and blue sprinkles. Say what you want, but at least they won’t melt in your hands.

19. Grace your dessert platter this 4th of July with this American flag peanut butter dip dish.

I know it’s for dessert since it’s covered with sprinkles. You don’t use sprinkles in appetizer platters.

20. For a more patriotic cake, may I recommend iced and sprinkled pretzel sticks?

Helps if you have some red, white, and blue sparkler decorations on top. Gives you a more festive atmosphere doesn’t it?

21. Firework cookies are always an explosive delight.

Sure these are made by a professional. But they’d look good on any American flag paper plate.

22. There is no more American treat than some star spangled brownies.

Well, it’s brownies configured into an American flag. But each one has a red, white, or blue star. Such a statement in chocolaty patriotic goodness.

23. No patriot party is complete without a cake to honor the US of A.

Helps that’s it’s 2 tiered and in red, white, and blue. Love the patterns on it.

24. Now this is a cake reeking of American sentiment.

However, we should say that Trump voters seem to have a funny sense of honor. After all, they elected a man who has absolutely none.

25. A loaf of cake should have layers of raspberries and blueberries.

Well, there’s icing in between along with the berries to get that red, white, and blue. I’m sure it’ll be a hit at some fancy patriotic celebration.

26. Top your 4th of July celebration with this Rice Krispie Uncle Sam hat.

Because an Uncle Sam head is far too creepy. Though it doesn’t exactly resemble his outlandish star-spangled hat. But it’ll do.

27. Red, white, and blue meringue cookies always spin for your pleasure.

Not exactly sure what meringue is. But I love the colors on these that I’ll include them in this post.

28. There’s plenty of this star spangled fruit pizza for everyone.

Toppings mostly consist of strawberries, icing, and blueberries. So decorating it shouldn’t be a problem.

29. Or perhaps a star pie may suit you.

Like the previous one, this also consist of strawberries and blueberries. Though something else poses as the filling.

30. This star spangled cake is one showing patriotic love.

This is for a wedding. But I like the star union being draped on it. A very American cake.

31. Nothing makes a quality patriotic snack like red, white, and blue pretzel bites.

You just need pretzels, icing, and 4th of July M&Ms. And you’re all set. Easy.

32. For a more festive and explosive flair, try these Rice Krispie firecrackers for size.

These consist of Rice Krispies, chocolate, licorice, and sprinkles. The rest is just decoration.

33. If you want to please, go with a flag candy bar treat.

Each one is decorated with M&Ms like some of the others on this post. Yet, all these look delicious.

34. For added fluff, try some red, white, and blue marshmallow sticks.

Yes, this is another sugary snack. But Pinterest often shows desserts for holidays anyway.

35. This patriotic cookie cake is great for fireworks celebrations.

Though this is certainly covered in candy. And why do they have white chocolate Kit Kat bars on there? That’s insane.

36. There’s nothing more patriotic at a 4th of July than this American flag pizza.

Yes, they used leafy greens for the blue. But there’s not a lot of blue food around. Still, looks tasty.

37. These red velvet cupcakes make a quality patriotic dessert.

Helps if they have white icing and blueberries on top. Still, these are pretty.

38. Celebrate your 4th of July with these red, white and blue cheesecakes.

Each layer on this is red and white with white icing and blueberries on top. Will sure make your party a hit.

39. For a more sophisticated treat, may I suggest some American flag cheesecake squares?

Each has cherry sauce and blueberries on top. Though I’m not a cheesecake fan, I assure your guests may enjoy these.

40. Hope you can find a slice of Old Glory within this cake.

I showed a similar one years ago. But this one seems to take less layers and stars.

41. You can’t have anything more star spangled at your 4th of July party like these stained glass stars.

Yes, they’re cookies with jello in the center. Not sure how it works. But they look quite tasty.

42. Feast your eyes on this star spangled patriotic pie.

Yes, it’s another American flag pie. But this one is in a neater fashion than a previous one I showed.

43. It’s not a patriotic fruit salad without stars and flags.

Well, if you can’t eke out an American flag on a watermelon, stars will do. The American flags aren’t a bad touch either.

44. Uncle Sam sends his love to the US of A.

Well, that’s a nice cookie image. But you’ll bet it’ll be eaten somehow. Like the flag though.

45. If you want a more healthy option, you might want to go with American flag fruit kabobs.

Includes strawberries, banana slices, and blueberries. Seems like you can do a lot with these 3 fruits.

46. If you like roll cakes, I suppose this red, white, and blue one will suit your fancy.

Sure it may not look remarkable on the outside. But the inside is amazing.

47. With this cake, you can show your love for the US of A.

Yes, it’s a cake of the United States. Yet, you have to love the red icing and blueberries on it.

48. These star-spangled cookies have a flowery disposition.

If you look closely at the stars, you’ll see that the tiny stars are flowers. They may be professionally made but I’ll take them.

49. Fruit tacos can always wake you up for the 4th of July.

Each consists of strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream wrapped in a pancake. A great combination for a patriotic morning.

50. Wake up this 4th of July morning with some fruity fireworks.

This one also has strawberries and blueberries. Though to be fair, they’re less likely to kill you than the ones at IHOP.

51. Nobody could resist some American flag fruit kabobs with raspberries and marshmallows.

Though the fruit kabobs like these I showed last year were also drizzled. These are not.

52. Well, this American flag cake is certainly cherry.

Never featured an American flag cake with cherries on it before. Maybe because cherries need to get the pits out of them.

53. Hold a toast to America’s birthday with these Rice Krispie shot cups.

I guess these cups are made for adults. Don’t ask me where this Pinterest idea came from. Then again, it might depend on whether the drink has any alcohol.

54. If you think fruit kabobs should have an even distribution of red, white, and blue, these will do nice for you.

Includes strawberries, banana slices, and blueberries. And you can pick up each one on a stick.

55. For fun in the sun, these 4th of July flip flop nutter butter cookies are a tasty treat.

Now that’s an ingenious idea. Love how they each have a pair. So creative.

56. These small fruit kabobs will nicely on a watermelon shell.

Kabobs consist of strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. And there are 2 American flags to give the platter a patriotic look.

57. This star spangled cookie pizza goes nicely on any 4th of July dessert platter.

Decorated with strawberry stripes and a blackberry union. Though I’m more impressed by the use of blackberries since you often don’t see them on such treats.

58. You’ll always have an explosive night with these firework cookies.

Helps if each one of them has red, white, and blue. Love them.

59. How about a fruit pizza of the Star-Spangled Banner?

Contains raspberries and blueberries on it. But it seems rather easy to decorate once it’s covered in icing.

60. There’s no patriotic platter like an American flag of pretzels.

Each one is dipped in some red, white, or blue chocolate. But only the blue ones have sprinkles.

61. Nothing emphasizes America like a dipped Oreo American flag.

Some of these were dipped in red and white chocolate. Some were dipped in blue chocolate and have stars on them.

62. This star-spangled cake is perfect for any 4th of July barbecue.

It’s blue with stars on the top. And it has red and white stripes on the sides. Makes a great centerpiece on a dessert platter.

63. A patriotic cake should always have a bald eagle on top.

This one was for a 90th birthday. Comes in 3 tiers with stripes on the bottom, stars in the middle, and an eagle on top.

64. You’d almost think these firework cupcakes would explode in your mouth.

I know these are fireworks but they kind of resemble bombs. Though at least they’re red and blue.

65. You can make a 4th of July cake look stunning with candy canes.

Well, candy canes do have red and white stripes. But where are you ever going to find them this time of year?

66. If you like chocolate chip cookies, may I suggest these stars?

Also, has some strawberries and blueberries on top of white icing. From a Nestle Toll House recipe.

67. Nothing entices 4th of July partygoers like shiny red, white, and blue candy apples.

Or should I say red, white, and silver? Then again, these seem professionally made.

68. As we all know red and blue orange slices bring all the fun.

However, there’s a chance they might contain alcohol. So you might want to keep out of reach of those under 21. Or at least until you consult the host.

69. For a more patriotic cheesecake, you might want to add some food coloring.

Well, red and blue coloring anyway. Though this looks absolutely stunning.

70. For a healthy 4th of July, perhaps a Captain America fruit platter may suit you.

Yes, he may not be your favorite Avenger. But he’s a patriotic superhero. So his emblematic shield on a fruit platter goes on this post.

71. Enjoy watching fireworks while chomping down on some patriotic popcorn.

Has some blue and red in it to match the bowl. Not sure how that works out.

72. There’s something fishy about these red, white, and blue goldfish pretzel bites.

Seems like red, white, and blue goldfish crackers exist. Yet, these are quite easy to make as you see.

73. These 4th of July cookies have been well put together.

Well, these are cookies of the USA. Includes some wood panel cookies as well.

74. Check out these star-spangled Oreos on a stick.

Each one is dipped in red and blue chocolate with white stars on them. Still, they must be delicious.

75. If you like frozen treats, you might want some of these patriotic ice cream sandwiches.

Each one has some strawberry and vanilla ice cream between graham crackers as well as blue icing and sprinkles. Great for any hot day.

76. There is nothing more delectable for the 4th of July than some cheesecake stars.

And they’re in red, white, and blue layers, too. Also like the whipped cream and sprinkles.

77. Hope this American flag waffle is brought to your patriotic breakfast.

Well, this is a circular waffle, anyway. But it contains strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream.

78. Celebrate America’s birthday with these American flag cake pops.

All of them are also covered in white sprinkles. At any rate, enjoy.

79. You can never go wrong with a patriotic fruit platter like this.

This one is mostly made from watermelon. But it sure rings a patriotic show.

80. For  a real American flag pie, perhaps rectangular is best.

The stripe filling is cherry and the stars one is blueberry. But it will certainly serve everyone.