The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Another One Bites the Dust”

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If you’re a tribute from a non-Career district in the Hunger Games and don’t have a lot of charisma or fighting ability, it’s best that you spend as little time as possible in the Cornucopia when the Games begin with a loud gong. And if you’re a tribute in general, don’t step off your platform during the 60 second countdown or you’ll be blown up by landmines. Nevertheless, once the Games begin, most tributes make for the Cornucopia to find food, water, weapons, tools, and other useful items. The most valuable and useful stuff often placed closest to the Cornucopia itself. Not surprisingly, the initial competition for supplies usually results in intense fighting with a significant number of tributes killed in the first few minutes or hours of the Games. Tributes from the lower districts tend to be the most vulnerable because Careers usually band together in alliances that were agreed upon beforehand and are considered brutally aggressive. After the bloodbath, they pursue other tributes one by one until they’re the only ones left to fight each other. The death toll of the Cornucopia bloodbath is usually 8-12 on average.

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A good song for the Cornucopia bloodbath scene would be Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.” Written by bass guitarist John Deacon, this song was the band’s best selling single with over 7 million copies sold. The phrase “bite the dust,” usually means killed or taken out of the competition as well as failure. And in the context of the Hunger Games, any meaning fits quite nicely when it pertains to the Cornucopia bloodbath. Because the Hunger Games is a fight to the death and tributes who die are automatically taken out of the competition. But in the Hunger Games version, I changed some of the lyrics to fit how a bunch of tributes are being taken out in quick succession. I also have it in Katniss’s point of view in which she knows she has to grab something and get out of Cornucopia quickly before the Careers go after her.

“Another One Bites the Dust” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

Oh! Let’s go!

Tributes rushing for their supplies
For the cornucopia way down low
Careers are very vicious and allied
So get a backpack and go

Am I ready, hey, am I ready for this?
Am I fleeing from the carnage you see?
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

How do you think I’m going to get along
Where everyone wants me gone?
I’ve got to use everything that I have
And live it out on my own

Are they happy, are they satisfied?
How long can I stand the heat?
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

There are plenty of ways that you can kill a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, you can spear him
You can shoot him bad and leave him when he’s down

But I’m ready, yes, I’m ready for them
I’m running with my own two feet
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
Repeating to the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Put on a Happy Face”

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For a musical on the Hunger Games, I’m rather astonished that I don’t have many songs featuring Effie Trinket. And for a lot reasons, it’s kind of a shame since Effie is the kind of character who’s well suited for a musical since she has a rather cheerful disposition. Sure she hates her job being stuck as escort for District 12, which is the lamest district by the way. But she nevertheless tackles her vocation with enthusiasm and gusto, which you know is bringing kids to die for entertainment of the masses. Because if she does her job right, she might get a promotion. Yet, because her job is escorting kids to the Capitol where they’d almost always die for entertainment, she can be rather cheerful at a time when it’s most inappropriate to the point of obliviousness that she’s more upset about Katniss stabbing a table than almost stabbing Haymitch’s hand. And she can be kind of a ditz or at least has no idea of how Still, she’s one of the series’ best known and well beloved characters. I mean people don’t dress up as her for nothing. Sure she might seem like a frivolous, apathetic bitch, but later on you get the impression that she genuinely cares about Katniss and Peeta. Yet, sometimes it might not seem to be the case. And eventually, Katniss comes to realize that Effie’s shallowness is a defense mechanism to cope with the Games. Still, in a series that’s filled with violence and dark themes, Effie can always offer a few lines that would make people chuckle, even when she’s completely missing the point.

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When choosing a good song for Effie Trinket, I went with “Put on a Happy Face” from Bye Bye Birdie, a musical that was loosely based on Elvis Presley getting drafted. The original song was sung by Dick Van Dyke and Janet Leigh in the movie, in which the former is telling her to cheer up. Still, it’s a rather familiar tune even though people have no idea where it came from. In the Hunger Games version, I have Effie Trinket trying to cheer up Katniss and Peeta who are legitimately not happy with facing almost inevitable death at such a young age. It also shows how rather insensitive that she can sometimes seem to be.

 

“Put on a Happy Face” (Hunger Games Version)

Sung by Effie Trinket

 

Gray skies are gonna clear up,

Put on a happy face;

Brush off the clouds and cheer up,

Put on a happy face.

 

Don’t try to think of your own tragedy,

It’s not our style;

You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad

Ya’ decide to smile!

 

Pick out a pleasant outlook,

Stick out that noble chin;

Wipe off that “impending death” look,

Slap on a happy grin!

 

And spread sunshine all over the place,

Just put on a happy face!

Put on a happy face

Put on a happy face

 

And if you’re feeling that your odds aren’t great

Don’t sit and whine

Think of some tasty chocolate cake

And you’ll feel fine

 

Don’t you two look so gloomy

At least you get some dessert

If you put enough pressure

Then coal turns into pearls

 

So spread sunshine all over the place

And put on a happy, happy face

Put on a happy, happy, happy face

Oh, come on you two, smile it’s the Hunger Games

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Whatever Happened to My Part?”

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Note: This post contains stuff that wasn’t in the movies. So if you haven’t read the books, you shouldn’t be viewing this.Because those who only saw the movies really wouldn’t understand.

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When adapting books into movies, screenwriters have to find ways to compress a several hundred page novel into a 2 hour film. This isn’t an easy task. But as with most movie adaptations, things tend to get left out while stuff tends to get changed around. The Hunger Games movies are no exception to that. Yet, one of the major parts that got left out of the movies was the story surrounding Madge Undersee. In the books, she’s the daughter of District 12’s mayor as well as Katniss’s friend at school since both of them found themselves in rather isolated positions due to their place on the socioeconomic ladder. Also, both of them have mothers whose experience with tragedy doesn’t really help their parenting skills. But unlike Katniss, this doesn’t change Madge’s situation too much. Nevertheless, in the books, she’s the person who gives Katniss a Mockingjay pin for luck after she volunteers to be a tribute in her sister’s place. In Catching Fire, it’s revealed that the Mockingjay pin in question was once owned by Madge’s aunt Maysilee Donner who was also a tribute in the Hunger Games (as well as best friends with Katniss’s mother). In fact, she was in it the same year as Haymitch. Yet, unlike Katniss and Peeta, Maysilee didn’t make it. Still, Madge’s story ends when she and her family are killed when District 12 gets bombed at the end. Those who only saw the movies wouldn’t know anything about this girl because Madge isn’t even in it.

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When it came to doing a song parody for her, I couldn’t think of a better one than “Diva’s Lament (Whatever Happened to My Part?)” from Spamalot, itself a musical version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The original version has the Lady of the Lake angrily complaining on not making a single appearance in the show since Act II despite being the leading lady. And if she’s the leading lady, then she should more time on stage than most of the other characters. Never mind that she wasn’t even in the original movie at all. In the Hunger Games version, I have Madge Undersee complain how she got adapted out of the movies despite being a rather important character. And in some ways, she kind of has a point.

 

“Whatever Happened to My Part?”

Sung by Madge Undersee

 

What ever happened to my part?

I was important at the start.

I am Katniss’s childhood friend

And gave her my dead aunt’s pin.

 

Nobody knows just who I am

And that the mayor is my dad.

I was in the books you see here

But they cut me from the feature.

Cause my storyline would complicate the plot.

Whatever happened to my part?

 

Do they know about this pin?

Its backstory thick and thin

It was once owned by my late Aunt Maysilee.

She was reaped but didn’t win,

And unpleasantly done in,

Now Kat receives her pin from Greasy Sae

 

Whatever happened to my tale?

I’m in the books but not the film.

Now the viewers are all confused,

Not knowing how the pin was used.

 

I might as well go to the pub

Why do I even try to give a fuck?

I play a role in the first two books

Well they can kiss my tush

It seems to me they’ve really lost the plot

 

Whatever happened to my

Where’s Suzanne Collins, dammit

Whatever happened to my

Not yours, not yours,

But my,

Part!

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “One Day More”

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Note: This post contains spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2, you shouldn’t be viewing this.

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For some great beauty is a major asset. For others it’s a curse. And in the Hunger Games, this can’t be better illustrated both ways with Finnick Odair. His charm and irresistible good looks made him very popular in the Capitol and helped him gain the sponsors he needed to win his Hunger Games at the tender age of 14. However, after the victory celebrations were over, he developed a reputation as a womanizer who’s left a string of broken hearts at the Capitol. But in reality, President Snow was prostituting him to the highest bidder as well as threatened to kill someone he loved if he refused. So basically for him, “saving it till marriage,” was out of the question.Still, just when you think things can’t get any worse for him, he falls in love with a victor in from his home District 4 named Annie Cresta, who’s seen as mentally unstable but actually has PTSD. But in any case, they’re not supposed to be together as far as the Capitol is concerned. Yet, their love endured despite all odds.And it’s clear that Snow knew about their relationship since the two were reaped for the third Quarter Quell, yet Mags volunteers in Annie’s place in order to die on her own terms. Also, Snow had her arrested when he escaped from the arena with Katniss and Beetee during the Quarter Quell which leaves him devastated and a nervous wreck who could barely hold it together. And yes, Snow uses that as leverage against him. That is, until she’s rescued along with Peeta and Johanna from the Capitol. Once in District 13 together, they proceed to get married. But it’s not long until Finnick is called to serve on the “Star Squad” in the fight at the Capitol. Some guys just can’t get a break.

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For an appropriate song parody here, I went with “One Day More” from Les Miserables. In the original, Marius and his buddies are about to start what is known as The June Rebellion which was a clash between middle class young men and the authorities during the 1830s. However, he also just got together with Cosette which puts him in a bind between sticking it to the man with his friends or spending more time with his girlfriend. Let’s just say he should’ve chosen the latter since the Rebellion in that musical was a disaster that resulted in all his friends getting killed. And if Jean Valjean weren’t there to save his ass on Cosette’s behalf, he would’ve joined them. In the Hunger Games version, I have Finnick conflicted between staying with his new wife or going to the Capitol. Yet, I have other characters singing parts in preparation for the Capitol invasion.

 

“One Day More” (Hunger Games Edition)

 

[Katniss]

One day more!

Another day, another destiny.

This never-ending road in agony;

As I agreed to be the Mockingjay

I’ll kill Snow with my bow one day.

One day more!

 

[Finnick]

I did not live until today.

How can I live when we are parted?

 

[Katniss]

One day more.

 

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

And yet with you, my world has started!

 

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own.

 

[Finnick & Annie]

Will we ever meet again?

 

[Johanna]

One more day with no one caring.

 

[Finnick & Annie]

I was born to be with you.

 

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known.

 

[Finnick & Annie]

And I swear I will be true!

 

[Johanna]

But my fighting isn’t there!

 

[Gale]

One more day before the storm!

 

[Finnick]

Do I follow where she goes?

 

[Gale]

At the barricades of freedom.

 

[Finnick]

Shall I join my brothers there?

 

[Gale]

When our ranks begin to form

 

[Finnick]

Do I stay; and do I dare?

 

[Gale]

Will you take your place with me?

 

[ALL]

The time is now, the day is here

 

[Katniss]

One day more!

 

[Coin]

One day more to revolution,

We will nip Snow in the bud!

And I’ll bomb kids in the Capitol,

So their hands will soak with blood!

 

[Katniss]

One day more!

 

[Beetee & Plutarch]

Drop these dirty bombs,

See them as they fall,

Rescuers will blow up

Down there in the Capitol,

Give a little blast

Nail them in the ass

Most of them are goners

So they won’t miss much!

 

[District 13 (2 Groups)]

[1:] One day to a new beginning

 

[2:] Raise the flag of freedom high!

 

[1:] Every man will be a king

 

[2:] Every man will be a king

 

[1:] There’s a new world for the winning

 

[2:] There’s a new world to be won

 

[ALL]

Do you hear the people sing?

 

[Finnick]

My place is here, I fight with you!

 

[Katniss]

One day more!

 

[Finnick & Annie]

I did not live until today.

 

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own!

 

[Finnick & Annie]

How can I live when we are parted?

 

[Coin(overlapping)]

I will send Katniss’s Peeta

He will follow where she goes

Once he’s close to her he’ll surely

Grip his hands around her throat.

 

[Katniss]

One day more!

 

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

 

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known!

 

[Finnick & Annie]

And yet with you my world has started

 

[Coin (overlapping)]

One more day to revolution

We will nip Snow in the bud

We’ll be ready for these rich snobs

 

[Betee and Plutarch (overlapping)]

Watch ’em run amok

Blow ’em as they fall

Never know your luck

When there’s a free-for-all!

 

[Katniss]

Tomorrow we’ll be far away,

Tomorrow is the judgement day

 

[ALL]

Tomorrow we’ll discover

What the great Capitol has in store!

One more dawn

One more day

One day more!

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “The Capitol Invasion Song”

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Note: This post may contain spoilers for those who haven’t read the books or haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2.

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As many movies and books have a major epic battle in them, the Hunger Games is no exception. In Mockingjay, District 13 plans and stages an invasion of the Capitol in order to overthrow President Snow who by this point has a long list of terrible deeds in his wake. I’m not sure with all the details on this but I’ll try to set the scene. So President Alma Coin deploys  Katniss and her propo team and a unit called, “The Star Squad” to a seemingly trivial propaganda assignment in the Capitol. However, she has Peeta go along with them despite that he’s still dangerous, unpredictable, and not quite recovered from his hijacking. This leads Katniss to think that Coin wants her dead. Meanwhile, they think that the real invasion is underway and commanded by Paylor which is kind of true. But when it comes to modern warfare, sometimes you might never know where the war is coming to. Which is exactly what happens when Katniss an the Star Squad find themselves up against mutt beasts, armed peacekeepers, and booby trapped pods. Let’s just say it’s a scene of all out urban warfare on the Capitol streets. And it looks like Peeta might attack someone…

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For a song to parody this, I have “The Mob Song” in mind from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. The original has Gaston and the villagers assemble with their torches and pitchforks as well as head to the castle in order to kill the beast. Oh, and Gaston has Belle and Maurice put into a wagon headed for a loony bin but they manage to get out. Still, seeing the scene in the movie makes you understand why the Beast was being such a controlling jerk to Belle in the beginning. Because when it comes to getting a girlfriend in order to break a spell in his neck of the woods, he doesn’t really have a lot of options. For the Hunger Games version, I have Coin sending the Star Squad to the Capitol as the invasion is underway. But I have it end before people start getting killed.

 

“The Capitol Invasion Song”

 

[Coin:] The Capitol will make off with your children.

[Crowd:] {gasp}

[Coin:] And will force them to fight it to the death.

[Crowd:] Yes!

[Coin:] We’re not safe till his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill Snow!

[Crowd] Kill him!

 

[Man I:] We’re not safe until he’s dead

[Man II:] He’ll come stalking us at night

[Woman:] Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite

[Man III:] He’ll wreak havoc on our districts if we let him rule Panem

[Crowd:] So it’s time to take some action, boys

Coin: It’s time to follow me

 

Old Man Snow

In his city

Through the darkness and the shadows

It’s a nightmare but it’s one exciting ride

Say a prayer

Then we’re there

At the entrance of the Capitol

And there’s something truly terrible inside

He’s a beast

He’s insane

He’s a bastard

He’s sadistic

With a psychopathic streak

Smell his rose

See him roam

But we’re not coming home

‘Til he’s dead

Good and dead

Kill the Beast!

 

[Katniss:] Okay, but I want to kill Snow personally.

[Coin:] Fine, but go to the Capitol with the propo team and the Star Squad 451. And Peeta’s coming with you, too.

[Katniss:] How’s Peeta?

[Coin:] Well, they say he’s too unstable for combat but I can’t see how he’d be much trouble on a trivial assignment.

[Katniss:] Uhhh….okay.

[Coin:] We’ll rid the country of Snow. Who’s with me?

[Crowd:] I am! I am! I am!

 

Grab your guns

Get your weapons

[Katniss:] Get up aboard the hoverplane.

[Star Squad:] We’re counting on Boggs to lead the way

Through the streets

Through city

Where within a classy mansion

Something’s lurking that you don’t see ev’ry day

It’s Snow

Smells of blood and white roses

We won’t rest

‘Til he’s good and deceased

Sally forth

Tally ho

Grab your trident

Grab your bow

Praise the Lord and here we go!

 

[Boggs:] I have this Holo map that will help us avoid known booby trapped, “pods” on the Capitol’s streets.

[Katniss:] Oh, shit, Peeta’s getting out of control. What am I going to do?

[Gale:] Think of something and if that doesn’t work, I’ll kill him.

 

[Star Squad:] We don’t like

What we’ve understood

That he sure scares us

And this bastard is psychopathic at least

Bring your guns

Bring your knives

Save your children and your wives

We’ll save our country and our lives

We’ll kill the beast!

 

[Finnick:] I knew it! I knew it was foolish to bring Peeta along.

[Katniss:] Maybe it would have been better if he had never come at all. And I think he’s here because Coin wants me dead because she can’t control me anymore. But we need to help him.

[Peeta:] Can you please kill me now before I start seeing Katniss as mutt again?

[Katniss:] That’s not gonna happen. Besides, this seems like a safe neighborhood.

[Gale:] Encroachers!

[Finnick:] And they have mutts! No!

[Boggs:] Warn everyone! If it’s a fight they want, we’ll be ready for them! Who’s with me?

[Katniss:] Take whatever booty you can find. But remember, Snow is mine!

 

[Star Squad:] Hearts ablaze

Banners high

We go marching into battle

Unafraid although the danger just increased

Raise the flag

Sing the song

Here we come, we’re fifty strong

And fifty soldiers can’t be wrong

Let’s kill the beast!

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “This Katniss Must Die”

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Katniss and Peeta’s win at the Hunger Games made them instant celebrities as star-crossed lovers who’d rather die than be forced to kill each other. However, not everyone is happy about it, particularly Panem’s resident dictator President Coriolanus Snow. Unlike many people in the Capitol, Snow knows that Katniss was faking her romance for Peeta for the cameras and saw her idea of a nightlock suicide pact as an act of rebellion against the Capitol. And it doesn’t help that her actions inspired rebellions in several of the districts which leads Snow to determine that Katniss is trouble. So how does he deal with it? Well, for one, he has Seneca Crane put to death for letting both Katniss and Peeta win. Next, in the beginning of Catching Fire, he pays a visit to Katniss’s house in the Victor Village, tells her of the situation, and threatens to harm her loved ones if she doesn’t help defuse the arrest by agreeing to keep up her fake romance with Peeta. She agrees and so does Peeta when she tells him about it so they keep up the ruse. However, as public wedding plans and the Victory Tour are underway, Katniss inadvertently fuels the rebellion in every district she goes with her mockingjay pin becoming its symbol. You can surmise that the growing rebellion is now out of Katniss’s control and that her efforts to defuse it are doomed to fail. Now Snow also has a problem on his hands with Katniss because he can’t just have her executed because her Hunger Games victor status would make her a martyr. Nor could he really have her alive. Fortunately, for him, the the third Quarter Quell is around the corner and Katniss is District 12’s only female victor so….

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For a good parody on Snow’s deciding that Katniss must be eliminated, I went with the song, “This Jesus Must Die” from Jesus Christ Superstar. In the original version, the Jewish chief priests at the Temple of Jerusalem are worried about Jesus’s popularity among his followers in the city. To them, Jesus was a rabble rouser who needed to be stopped who not only hurts their influence but if he or his followers lead or inspire some insurrection. And historically, they had reason to worry about Jewish insurrections because the chief priests only existed at the mercy of the Roman Empire and they knew it. One major Jewish insurrection and the Sadducees would be history. This was exactly what happened in 70 A.D. when the Temple was destroyed, but Jesus was already risen by then so he had very little to do with it. In the Hunger Games version, I have Snow and his advisers discussing what to do with Katniss Everdeen who’s inspiring rebellions all over Panem. And yes, Snow knows she must be eliminated, but he doesn’t know how to do so at this point.

“This Katniss Must Die”

Peacekeeper: Good President, the city waits for you
The Capitol and Peacekeepers are here for you

Snow: Ah, all of you, you know why we are here
We’ve not much time and quite a problem here

Crowd on screen: Hosanna! Mockingjay!

Antonius: Listen to that howling mob of blockheads in the street!
A signal with her fingers and District 11’s on its feet

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar
Tell us that you’re who we say you are

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: The victors are in on tour right now to whip us some support

Lucia: A rabble rousing mission that I think we must abort

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar!

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: Look President, they’re out in District 2.

Lucia: Quick, President, go take her off at once

Snow: No, wait – we need a more permanent solution to our problem

Antonius: What then to do about Katniss Everdeen
Girl’s who’s on fire, hero of fools?

Lucia: More riots, more dresses, more fighting and Peeta

Snow: One thing I’ll say for her: Katniss is cool

Antonius: We dare not leave her to her own devices

Her half-witted fans will get out of control

Lucia: But how can we stop her? Her glamour increases
By leaps every minute; she’s top of the poll

Snow: I see bad things arising: they’ll start to rebel
And overthrow me at hand
I see blood and destruction, our elimination
Because of one girl
Blood and destruction because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one girl

Snow: Our elimination because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one
Cause of one, cause of one girl

Lucia: What then to do about this Katnissmania?

Antonius: How do we deal with the coal miner’s kid?

Lucia: Where do we start with a girl who’s on fire
Or her star-crossed lover the boy with the bread?

Snow: Fools! You have no perception!
The stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high!
We must crush her completely
So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die
For the sake of the nation, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must die

Snow: So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must
Katniss must, Katniss must die

Have Yourself a Merry Star Wars Christmas

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Of course, this December is a big one for Star Wars fans since this week Star Wars: The Force Awakens comes out in theaters. And to many nerds out there, this is indeed better than Christmas, especially if you’ve purchased tickets for the film well in advance. But to me, I’m probably not going to see the movie until at least after Christmas or perhaps later. And yes, I’m sure that Mockingjay Part 2 won’t be top of the box office for long since it can’t compete with the power of the Force. At least in box office dollars, that is. Now I know that Star Wars has a a special place for many nerds out there. But I also know that some neighbors give you pressure on decorating for Christmas. However, don’t worry because there are plenty of stuff you can do to make sure your home is the most Christmasy in the galaxy as well as shows your love for Star Wars, too. Since the series pertains to interstellar war, you’d think Star Wars and Christmas won’t go together. However, Star Wars and Christmas have been together since they released the Star Wars Holiday Special back in the day, but we don’t talk about that. Still, since it’s the Christmas season, this gives me the idea to show some holiday cheer in the Star Wars way of things. So for your reading pleasure, here are some things you can do to bring the Force into your holiday home this Christmas. Merry Christmas and may the Force be with you.

  1. Nothing shows more Christmas cheer than wearing a Yoda Santa hat.
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Yes, now you can say, “Merry Christmas, I wish you” and not have people think you have a problem with syntax. Still, clever it is.

2. Instead of a yule log in your fireplace, how about Darth Vader’s burning corpse.

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Because nothing says Christmas than having Darth Vader’s body burning in your fireplace. Seriously, this is messed up.

3. Sorry, Santa, but I’m afraid that these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

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Yeah, I don’t think Timmy wanted a protocol droid with a scarf and present. Nor did he want an R2 unit with lighted antlers either.

4. Why use reindeer to pull your sleigh when you have Taun-Tauns and AT-ATs.

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I don’t know about you. But I don’t think it’s to scale. Seriously, AT-ATs are way bigger than the Hoth Taun-Tauns. I mean they’re huge freaking tanks. Love Vader on the sleigh.

5. Wake up this Christmas morning in your very own Star Wars Christmas long johns.

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Yes, this is pretty tacky with Christmas and Star Wars stuff. But I’m sure it’ll be the kind of Christmas pajamas fit for a Jedi.

6. Unto Darth Vader and Padme Amidala, a son and daughter were born under the Death Star.

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I know it didn’t happen that way in Revenge of the Sith. But still, it’s a pretty funny take off on nativity scenes. Love baby Leia’s cinnabun hair.

7. Of course, it’s always C-3PO’s job to put up the Christmas wreath.

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Still, it does mean the C-3PO might be decorated in a Santa hat and Christmas lights in the process. Apparently Christmas decorating isn’t one of his strengths.

8. Nothing says Christmas like having your tree decorated in lightsabers.

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Now this one has lightsabers of all different colors you can think of. Yeah, I don’t think they had yellow and orange lightsabers either. But it looks pretty cool.

9. The Force is strong in these Star Wars Christmas cookies.

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Now these consist of Imperial Stormtroopers dressed as snowmen, Darth Vaders in Santa hats, Yodas with antlers, and Boba Fetts in elf hats. Pretty silly, but I like them.

10. For Christmas Eve, you might want to hang these Star Wars stockings with care.

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Now these consist of R2-D2, Darth Vader, and Chewbacca. And yes, you can buy these on Amazon any day of the week.

11. It’s not Christmas until you can hang an ornament on the tree of your favorite Star Wars character.

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Includes an Ewok, R2-D2, C-3PO, an Imperial Stormtrooper, Darth Vader, Yoda, Chewbacca, and Boba Fett. Collect them all if you can afford it.

12. Seems like this girl is Ewoking in a winter wonderland.

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Well, it says so on her ugly Christmas sweat shirt. Still, I’m not sure if Endor even gets snow in December.

13. Apparently, Darth Vader finds your lack of cheer disturbing.

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Of course, despite that Darth Vader was responsible for killing billions of people in the galaxy, he sure seems to like Christmas. And he’d certainly force choke any Grinch who says otherwise.

14. You better watch out/You better not cry/You better not pout, I’m telling you why/ Yoda Claus is coming to town.

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Sees you when you’re sleeping he does. When you’re awake, he knows. Bad or good, he knows. So be good for goodness sake. Or else, whip up his lightsaber on your ass, he will.

15. Now you can have the Force in your home this holiday season with this Star Wars aluminum Christmas tree.

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Includes a blue tinsel garland and some Star Wars ornaments with white bows on them. Feel free to string it with lights and a tree topper of your choice.

16. Nothing shows your support for the Rebel Alliance than a Christmas sweater of an X-Wing fighter.

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Yeah, nothing says Christmas like engaging in an epic space battle in order to blow up a large space station with thousands of people inside. Of course, it’s a Death Star that blew up Alderaan, but still.

17. If you want your Christmas on the Dark Side, here’s a great Galactic Empire wreath to adorn your front door.

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Now this includes Darth Vader with his red lightsaber, Stormtroopers, a Death Star, and some black, red, and white baubles. Sure to make your Sithmas complete.

18. Don’t leave out your loved ones on this Galactic Christmas. Send them these Christmas cards so the Force would be with them.

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Now these are pretty clever. Includes Yoda with reindeer antlers, Han Solo in an ugly sweater, Chewbacca, Chewbacca with a red nose, Lando Calrissian with a present, and Darth Vader in a Santa hat.

19. And they were visited upon 3 bounty hunters carrying gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

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Now this is just a Star Wars nativity scene parody. Okay? Greedo and Boba Fett aren’t wise men at all. They’re bounty hunters after Han Solo. Nor is Darth Vader Saint Joseph in any capacity. But I do love the Ewok and Chewbacca as shepherds.

20. For your Star Wars Christmas, you can’t go wrong with this R2-D2 wreath.

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Now this wreath has blue and white poinsettias and silver foliage. Of course, this color scheme pretty much fits for R2-D2.

21. If you don’t think the other Star Wars ornaments were Christmasy, these might suit your fancy.

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Includes a red Darth Vader, C-3PO in a Santa suit, R2-D2 with reindeer antlers, Santa Yoda, and Jawa with presents. Of course, not sure why they had to paint Vader red.

22. Nothing captures the magic of Christmas like holding a lightsaber for the first time.

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It’s a wonder Luke was careful with that thing. Still, I don’t think Ben Kenobi told him about how he dismembered his dad in their duel in the Mustafar system.

23. String up your Christmas tree this year with this light string of lightsabers.

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I might show other Star Wars light strings as well. But if you have a Christmas tree full of lightsabers, you might want to go with this.

24. Darth Vader knows what your getting for Christmas this year. He could feel your presents.

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This is a lawn light fixture of Darth Vader with a Christmas present. Wonder what it is or who it’s for? Then again, I better not ask.

25. When working for the Galactic Empire, it’s said that dressing for Christmas is mandatory this time of year.

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Now many of these Stormtroopers are dressed as elves. One has a Santa hat on and is carrying a sack of toys. And an Imperial guard has a Christmas wreath and a stick covered in lights. And you thought they were on the Dark Side.

26. Nothing makes Christmas more complete than showing up in an ugly at-at Christmas sweater.

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Now that’s sure to commemorate the epic battle on Hoth in Empire Strikes Back. Fortunately, that place is an arctic winter world. But watch out for wampas.

27. Let’s just say that Darth Vader is dreaming of a Death Star for Christmas this year.

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I don’t think Santa will give Vader that, this year. I mean Death Stars are very expensive to build as you may see. Also, I’m sure Darth Vader is certainly on the naughty list.

28. This holiday cuddle up for some hot cocoa with your very own R2-D2 Christmas mug.

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Now this features R2-D2 with a Santa hat on as you can see. Still, this pretty cute. But I’m not sure if R2 would be fine with the hat though.

29. Use the Force this Christmas season by gracing your tree with this Yoda Christmas tree topper.

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Has Yoda wielding a lightsaber in his hands, it does. About to kick some serious Sith ass, he is. Fans, do or do not, there is no try.

30. You’re a mean one, Mr. Maul/ You really are a heel/You’re a cuddly as a rancor/You’re as charming as an eel/Mr. Maul/You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

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I know this might bring some copyright infringement claims. But this Darth Maul Grinch action figure is just genius. Seriously. it’s great.

31. Of course, Christmas has to figure into your fighting style as well in that galaxy far, far away.

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Now Darth Vader has a green and red candy cane lightsaber, Han Solo has a wreath on his blaster, and Boba Fett has his gun decorated with lights. Not sure if they’re practical but they make great Christmas toy decor.

32. Insulate your Christmas tree this season with your very own R2-D2. tree blanket.

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Now this was somebody’s craft project by the looks of it. Still, this is quite adorable if I say so myself. Couldn’t have done one better.

33. This Christmas, this Darth Vader Santa Claus will certainly put your holidays on the Dark Side.

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Now this one has Vader in a Santa hat and a bad ass red cape. And he’s holding a lightsaber and a Christmas present.

34. Carry your things this holiday season in this Star Wars bag.

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Of course, I don’t think Chewie’s liking being decorated like a Christmas tree one bit. Can’t Luke, Han, and Leia use something else? You don’t want to piss off a wookiee.

35. Nothing makes Sithmas complete than a Darth Vader tree.

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Yes, this is the ultimate Star Wars Christmas tree as you may see. It even has an X-Wing and a lightsaber. Someone must be an ardent fan.

36. Light up your home this holiday season with this droid leg lamp.

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Has R2-D2’s top and C-3PO’s leg. Based on the leg lamp in A Christmas Story which was way more risque than this. Still, I think it’s genius to say the least.

37. Before morning, you’ll be visited by 3 Jedi ghosts.

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Now this is a take off from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Of course, these ghosts have nothing to do with the past, present, or future.

38. If Santa can’t do the job of delivering presents, R2-D2 will certainly rise to the occasion.

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After all, R2-D2 basically saves everyone’s ass in the Star Wars movies. And he never seems to get any credit for it. Still, he’s a fiesty little droid if you ask me.

39. Deck your Christmas tree with this R2-D2 string of lights.

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Yes, R2-D2 has his own light string. Still, he’s a very adorable character who’s very resourceful. But he can also be a little ornery and zap anyone he doesn’t like.

40. No, I don’t think these are the droids you’re looking for either.

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I mean these two are wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Would any droid in their right mind wear something like that? Probably not.

41. Make your Christmas merry with this ornament of C-3PO at Jabba the Hutt’s mercy.

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Because nothing says Christmas like being enslaved into acting as translator for a desert planet crime lord in his dump of a palace. Still, Jabba the Hutt is one of my least favorite characters since he’s just so disgusting.

42. The holiday spirit is strong in this Stormtrooper snowman.

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Yes, this is an inflatable of Darth Vader building a snowman of an Imperial Stormtrooper. Not sure if he’d have the time but this is pretty funny.

43. Darth Vader wishes you a merry Sithmas.

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Now this is said to be sold at K Mart. Still, like the candy cane lightsabers and Vader in a Santa hat.

44. Looks like Boba Fett has Jabba the Hutt’s Christmas gift ready for him.

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Why, he’s giving Jabba Han Solo frozen in carbonite. I would’ve never guessed. Like his candy cane gun and a bow on his jet pack.

45. Seems like Jawa love to receive gadgets and droids for Christmas.

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Of course, they traffic droids on Tattooine to sell like they did with C-3PO and R2-D2. Still, they didn’t deserve to be killed by Imperial Stormtroopers.

46. Count the days toward Christmas with this Lego Star Wars advent calendar.

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Think of it as a calendar that has Star Wars in the Christmas spirit. Notice that Santa has his transporter pulled by R2-D2.

47. While Santa has his sleigh pulled by reindeer, Vader has his pulled by at-ats.

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And the at-ats seem to have reindeer antlers as they travel through space to the Death Star. Also, there’s Darth Vader with a sack of toys as it seems.

48. The Galactic Emperor Palpatine would like to wish everyone a merry Sithmas.

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And it seems that his eyes are red to show it. Still, Darth Sidious is a complete monster and incapable of any redemption. Not to mention, he’s pretty darn scary to boot.

49. You can’t have Christmas without having Emperor Palpatine on your Christmas tree.

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Because nothing says Christmas than an evil Emperor who manipulated his way into power in order to stage a coup so he could kill off the Jedi. Also, can shoot out lightning with his hands.

50. When it snows, some people build snowmen. But Darth Vader builds a snow Death Star.

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Of course, let’s hope this snow Death Star isn’t capable of blowing up a planet like Alderaan. Still, it’s kind of disturbing. Like Vader in a Santa hat though.

51. Relive the Return of the Jedi this Christmas with this ornament of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker’s final lightsaber duel.

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Because nothing says Christmas than engaging in a lightsaber duel with your arch nemesis Sith Lord dad. Of course, this will end when Luke chops Vader’s hand off.

52. As they say in Star Wars, “Droid to the World.”

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Still, I don’t think these are the droids you’re looking for. I mean Santa hats and a string of lights? C’mon.

53. Of course, R2-D2 is just about to deliver your presents.

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Seems like little R2-D2 has his work cut out for him this Christmas. Still, not sure how he was able to carry those presents.

54. Relive the Return of the Jedi with this Christmas ornament of Luke Skywalker being grabbed by a rancor.

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Because nothing says Christmas than being grabbed by a huge monster who’s about to eat you. Unfortunately, the rancor messed with the wrong Jedi.

55. Of course, some might be dreaming of a droid Christmas.

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This inflatable has C-3PO, R2-D2, and Chewbacca decorating a Christmas tree. Also, R2-D2 is wearing a bow on his head.

56. Nothing makes your Star Wars Christmas worthwhile than turning your tree into an Imperial cruiser.

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Seems like this guy is ready for Star Wars: the Force Awakens. Even has a Stormtrooper on top in a Santa hat.

57. Relive the dramatic climax of Empire Strikes Back with this ornament of Darth Vader on a balcony.

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Because nothing says Christmas like cutting off your son’s hand in a lightsaber duel, telling him he’s his father while he’s clinging to life on a pole, and asking him to join the Dark Side. Well played, Vader. Well played.

58. If you loved the prequels, then you’ll want this Christmas ornament of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi Wan Kenobi’s lighsaber duel with Darth Maul.

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Of course, we all know that Qui-Gon will soon be Qui-gone not long after this moment. And Obi Wan can do nothing about it.

59. Darth Vader finds your lack of holiday spirit disturbing.

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Not sure if it’s store bought or made on someone’s computer. Still, like him in that Santa hat and red sack of presents. Yes, Darth Vader knows what you’re getting for Christmas.

60. As Darth Vader would say, “Merry Sithmas and bah, humbug.”

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Yes, this Christmas, make sure your coffee is on the Dark Side. I’m sure this thermal mug will make your holiday season complete.

61. When it comes to the holiday season, Darth Vader always knows the perfect holiday turtleneck for the occasion.

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Yes, this is Darth Vader in a quintessential Galactic Empire ugly Christmas sweater. And yes, it’s decorated like you’d expect for a Sith lord.

62. Nothing will help you open bottles faster than this Yoda Claus bottle opener.

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Trouble with opening that bottle you have. Fix it, this will. Also talk, it can. For holiday booze parties, you need.

63. For the little ones, have them cuddle up with these Star Wars Itty Bittys from Hallmark.

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Consists of C-3PO in a green and red scarf, R2-D2 with reindeer antlers, Chewbacca with a Santa hat and candy cane sash, and Yoda with a Santa hat and candy cane. Still, these are adorable and possibly overpriced.

64. May the Force be with you this Christmas with these light up Star Wars lawn ornaments.

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These consists of R2-D2, Yoda, Darth Vader, and a Stormtrooper. All are wearing Santa hats. But Darth Vader has a Santa cape while the Stormtrooper is carrying a candy cane and wearing a green scarf.

65. So what will you choose this holiday season: the Nice Side or the Naughty Side?

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Choose Yoda and green to come to the Nice Side. Choose Darth Vader and red to go to the Naughty Side. Either way, Hallmark might hose you.

66. Relive your favorite moments from Return of the Jedi this holiday season with this Slave Leia Christmas tree ornament.

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Because nothing says Christmas by being forced into sex slavery for Jabba the Hutt after defrosting Han Solo in disguise. And having to strangle him to death with the chain around your neck.

67. With Star Wars baubles like these, what more can you ask for in a Christmas tree?

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Many of these consists of some of your favorite characters from the original trilogy. Also includes the Death Star.

68. On Hoth, Darth Vader dashes through the snow by a Taun Taun sleigh.

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This might be a Christmas card image from Lego. But it’s still pretty funny. Apparently Vader has to use a whip as well. And he’s carrying a sack.

69. Light up your Christmas tree with these C-3PO light string.

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Of course, C-3PO may whine a lot on missions. Then again, he was made to be a butler droid. But if you land on a planet, his translator skills really come in handy.

70. When it comes to the Christmas decorating, Grand Moff Tarkin is always in charge.

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As he said during this holiday season, “You may tinsel when ready.” Of course, everyone tends to forget he was the one who blew up Alderaan, not Darth Vader.

71. Of course, it can’t be Christmas on the Dark Side without a Darth Maul stocking.

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Yes, someone made this. And yes, Darth Maul is a popular character despite appearing for a very short time before being chopped in half by Obi Wan Kenobi in the Phantom Menace.

72. Of course, this stocking hook will help you know where Darth Vader’s stocking goes.

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Yes, this is a Darth Vader stocking holder. Still, I think as far as Santa’s concerned, Darth Vader’s on the naughty list. I mean the guy did a lot of bad things in order to conquer the galaxy, didn’t he?

73. Support the Galactic Empire this Christmas by wearing this Imperial Stormtrooper ugly sweater.

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Of course, wearing this will surely not help you on your hunting skills. Seriously, try to hunt in it and you won’t hit anything.

74. For Darth Vader’s Christmas tree, a Death Star provides the finishing touch.

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Of course, it’s only a matter of time until Luke Skywalker comes in and destroys the thing. So Vader should enjoy it while it lasts.

75. This ugly Star Wars Christmas sweatshirt is bound to bring balance to the Force.

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Now that has to be one of the ugliest Christmas sweatshirts in the whole galaxy I’ve ever seen. Makes you wonder whether the designer was on some strong brown acid when they came up with this.

76. A Christmas tree decorated like this is sure to make the Empire proud.

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Now this is topped with a Stormtrooper and has a Wampa on the bottom. Decorations include at-ats, Darth Vader, and Death Stars.

77. Don’t tell me that your partial Death Star Christmas tree ornament is already operational.

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Then again, nothing says Christmas like a large Death Star construction that’s a possible threat to the moon of Endor.

78. When it comes to Star Wars stockings, would you prefer Wampa or Ewok?

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One is a large yeti like monster from Hoth that eat Taun Tauns and had its arm sliced off by Luke Skywalker. The other is a cute little teddy bear that is perfectly willing to eat humans. Yet, poses a grave threat for Imperial Stormtroopers.

79. When it comes to Christmas tree ornaments, this Stormtrooper always knows what’s appropriate.

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Now this is a nutcracker of a Stormtrooper with a Christmas tree ornament bearing the Galactic Empire logo. Whether he’s a good of a decorator as he’s a shot is anyone’s guess.

80. If you can’t buy a Star Wars Christmas stocking, consider making one instead.

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These consist of Yoda, Darth Vader, Princess Leia, and R2-D2. Yes, they’re in stripes and crocheted. But they’re quite adorable, too.

81. Nothing makes a better Sithmas tree topper than a large Death Star.

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Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” or “Peace on Earth” than a large space station that blows up a planet. Yeah, I don’t think that’s appropriate for a Christmas tree if you ask me.

82. Of course, Chewbacca has a tendency of getting tangled up in lights.

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Seems like Christmas isn’t a great time of year for Chewie. It’s bad enough that Han complains about his hair getting all over them, too.

83. This Christmas, Darth Vader is making a list and checking it twice.

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Of course, he doesn’t care who’s naughty or nice. He just wants to make note of which planets have Rebel bases and whether he should blow it up.

84. Of course, R2-D2 has to look his best on Christmas. And that means being covered in lights.

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Not sure if R2-D2 would take kindly to this. Might hurt his mechanical capabilities in some way or another. But that remains to be seen.

85. Yoda Claus knows you want to know what you’re getting for Christmas.

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Trying to feel your presents, you are. Open them before Christmas, you will not. What part of no peeking understand, do you not?

86. For this Galactic Christmas, grace your mantle with these Star Wars holiday bobbleheads.

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These include Yoda Claus, Jawa with presents, Darth Vader in Santa hat and cape, C-3PO in Santa suit, and R2-D2 with presents. Pretty amusing if you think about it. Yet, clever.

87. Grace your front door this Christmas by putting Star Wars figurines in your wreath.

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Now this is certainly home to a bonafide Star Wars fan. And I guess their favorite one in the series is Empire Strikes Back as I see it.

88. Of course, a Stormtrooper doesn’t have the Christmas spirit unless they wear reindeer antlers.

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And this Christmas sweater is for men and women. Still, Stormtroopers look pretty silly in red antlers. And they make lousy guides, too. Well, at least when it comes to marksmanship.

89. If you loved Empire Strikes Back, then you’ll love this Wampa Christmas tree ornament.

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Now I’m sure this Wampa was minding its own business and just wants to eat a Taun Taun. However, I’m not sure if the sight of blood is Christmas appropriate.

90. Sorry, but this isn’t the droid wreath you’re looking for. Move along.

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Yes, this is a C-3PO and R2-D2 Christmas wreath. Yes, it contains gold, white, and blue baubles. But still, it’s pretty cool.

91. For you Princess Leia fans out there, this Christmas wreath is just what the doctor ordered.

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Now somebody certainly made this. Still, I think the best part of this is that they used rope for Leia’s hair buns.

92. For Christmas treats, you can’t go wrong with a cookie and candy cane Imperial destroyer.

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Yes, this destroyer is a little bit on the Dark Side. No, I’m not sure whether you could eat it or if it’s for show. Yet, for a destroyer, it looks tasty.

93. Now this is the Darth Vader wreath of the season that can’t be beat.

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Now this consists of a Darth Vader baubles, red berries and string, as well as silver ribbon and black and silver burlap. Still, looks quite festive for the Dark Side.

94. This white R2-D2 Christmas tree is guaranteed to melt your heart.

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Now this is a cute Christmas tree. Consists of a white Christmas tree with blue sparkly ribbon, a red bauble, and silver bows.

95. Of course, there’s even an R2-D2 wreath to match.

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This one is a white tree wreath with an R2-D2 figure, red, silver, and blue ribbons, and red, blue, and silver baubles. Still, this is so adorable.

96. Celebrate Christmas with the Force by donning your front door with this tulle Santa Yoda wreath.

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Marvelous wreath for any door, wall, or mantle it is. Easy to make, it looks. Wow die hard fans, it will.

97. Relive the original Star Wars movie with your very own Leia and R2-D2 ornament.

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Because nothing says Christmas than implanting a disc into a droid with information to send to an old man on Tattooine, while being imprisoned by the Empire. Of course, R2-D2 does achieve his mission being the stubborn droid he is.

98. When Yoda walks he uses a cane. When Yoda Claus walks, he uses a candy cane.

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Christmas spirit, it is. Enhances look with Santa hat and coat, it does. Lucky if struck with it over lightsaber, you will.

99. For any Jedi Knight on Christmas, a Santa Yoda Advent Calendar is a must have.

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Of course, Yoda on the front, need to have. Clad in Santa suit and hat he is. Writing letter to Santa and drinking coffee, he does.

100. For Star Wars fans everywhere, say hello to Vader Claus.

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Yes, this is Vader Claus. He’s said to give gifts to all the good girls and boys on Christmas. to the bad ones who go against him or are simply incompetent, he force chokes them. Also is said to conquer the galaxy for the Empire. Still, pretty much is on the Dark Side.

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Katniss’s Soliloquy”

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Note: This post might contain spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the films up to Mockingjay Part 2, then you shouldn’t be viewing this. Because it might ruin the whole thing for you.

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During the course of Mockingjay, while Katniss becomes a symbol of a revolution, she has plenty of psychological baggage catching up to her. Now Katniss wasn’t altogether there in the beginning since she lost her father at 11 years old and was too busy trying to support her family through poaching to grow up as a fully functioning human being. After she and Peeta win the Hunger Games, she’s already suffering with PTSD by Catching Fire and is forced to keep chugging as other characters decide that she’s too important to whatever is going on to be allowed to recover from shell shock. This gets exacerbated at every given opportunity whether it be the Quarter Quell or the rebellion. And boy, does she suffer since she has to deal with things like friends dying, her hometown bombed, war and destruction, getting wounded, Peeta’s hijacking, betrayal, and so much more.

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For a parody on this state, I decided to use “Jean Valjean’s Soliloquy” from Les Miserables (it’s a great musical, I know). Now in the original Jean Valjean struggles with his worldview and how the bishop he robbed is the first person who’s ever been kind to him since he’s been on parole for stealing a loaf of bread. This even to the point when the bishop forgives him for stealing his silver. This leads him to take another path of life and break his parole. In the Hunger Games version, I had it set up at Snow’s scheduled execution after Snow tells Katniss that he didn’t bomb the Capitol in an attack that  killed children and her sister Prim (when it really looked like it). Why? Because the Capitol didn’t have the bombs to conduct such an attack at that scale. And that he’d have no reason to kill Capitol civilians other than as collateral damage. Not to mention, Katniss is seeing how evil Coin truly is since she tried to get her killed and wanted another Hunger Games with Capitol children. This leaves Katniss to snap and kill Coin.

 

“Katniss’s Soliloquy”

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

 

What have they done?

Sweet Jesus, what have they done?

Bombed the Capitol at night,

Blew up a bunch of children

Have they fallen so far,

And is the hour so late

That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,

The cries in the dark that nobody hears,

Here is where I stand at the ruined city here?

 

Was there another way to go

That didn’t lead to so many to go

My life was a war that could never be won

They made me a symbol of their revolution

But Coin wanted power and wanted me dead

For seeing me as a personal threat

 

Yet, how can I even forget

How that explosion killed my Prim?

An innocent like any other

She harmed no one

Nor one or another

She was girl who inspired love

Why did she die?

The girl I’ve volunteered to protect

Is now gone because I’ve tried

 

Take an eye for an eye!

Turn your heart into stone!

This is all they have lived for!

This is all they have known!

 

Always thought the evil to behold

Was only locked inside the Capitol

But Prim’s death was by the rebels

I feel my pain inside me like a knife

How could I side with such a soul,

Did I even know?

Why she wanted to take my life?

Was there another way to go?

 

I am reaching for my bow

And the crowd is closing in

As I stare at Alma Coin

And her vileness within

Not sure if I can kill Snow now

See my arrow pointing up

I just saw my sister die

And Coin I can’t forgive!

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Who Am I?”

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Note: This post might contain spoilers for those who haven’t read the books or seen the films up to Mockingjay Part 1.

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Despite being the main character and the hero of the Hunger Games trilogy, I didn’t have a lot of song parodies for Katniss Everdeen. Perhaps it’s because it’s easier to do parodies for other characters singing about her. Maybe it’s due that Katniss’s story while momentous isn’t really fun by her perspective. I mean she started out as a dirt poor girl from District 12 who volunteered as a tribute for hers sister. Once she won the Hunger Games with Peeta via threatening suicide, she becomes an instant celebrity and an icon that inspires revolts in several districts. And sometime later, she’s made to take part in the Hunger Games again since the 3rd Quarter Quell is an all star edition year. Luckily she escapes to District 13 with some victors. And in the third book, she’s asked to become the Mockingjay symbol of the rebellion (and has little choice whether to accept). Nevertheless, Katniss’s life has changed so much that she’s now unsure who she is anymore.

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For a parody on her state of mind at this point, I think “Who Am I?” from Les Miserables might be appropriate. Now the original has Jean Valjean thinking about whether to turn himself in to the court during a trial for a guy who’s identified as him. At this point in the story Jean Valjean is a successful factory owner and mayor of a small French town as well as a changed man. In this song he struggles between abandoning his responsibilities or violating his conscience. However, I think the trial was a scheme by Javert who automatically recognized him when he saved a guy under a cart. Now in the Hunger Games version, I have Katniss singing on whether she should be the Mockingjay and whether she is the same girl she used to be.

 

“Who Am I?”

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

 

She wants me as a tool

Should I be the Mockingjay?

Should I accept her offer

Or should I try to get away?

 

How is my Peeta now?

Should I try to save his life?

Will she agree to my terms

Or will she put him on the knife?

 

If I consent, I am a tool.

If I turn her down, I am damned!

 

I can give victors immunity from sentence.

And Peeta’s not free.

How can I abandon them?

How would they live

If I don’t agree?

 

If I agree, they may be saved

If I turn her down, I am damned!

 

Who am I?

My name is Katniss Everdeen

I live in District 12 and am 17

I won and was in the Hunger Games

But this year I broke out and escaped

Who am I?

The Capitol despised me for evermore

But can I ever be the girl I was before?

And must I now a symbol be

As a Panem revolutionary?

Must they die?

How can I ever face my fellow men?

How can I ever be myself again?

And how is Peeta, I don’t know

And how he’s doing under Snow?

He gave me hope when hope was gone

He gave me strength to carry on

 

Who am I? Who am I?

I am the Mockingjay!

 

And so Coin, you see it’s true

I’ll be your Jay and try to work with you!

Who am I?

Katniss Everdeen!

The Hunger Games: The Musical – “Holding Out for a Hero”

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Poor, poor Haymitch. Now this guy can’t catch a break. I mean the guy has been through so much shit in his life that his drinking problem is completely understandable. At 15, he was reaped for the 2nd Quarter Quell where he had 47 to 1 odds as well as killed fellow tributes as well as witnessed some of their deaths. Luckily he won, but his way of winning inflamed Snow so much that he had Haymitch’s mother, brother, and girlfriend killed 2 weeks after his victory. And to make matters worst, prior to the first book, Haymitch had to mentor District 12 tributes for practically all his late teens and his adult life. And before Katniss and Peeta burst onto the scene, no tribute under Haymitch’s care has survived the Hunger Games. Considering this is the Hunger Games, it’s probably safe to say that these 46 tributes died through no fault of his own. I mean it’s a fight to the death for God’s sake.

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Now I thought parodying “Holding Out for a Hero” would make a great song for Haymitch who really needs something to be happy about. The original song is from Footloose, expressing longing for a hero. It’s probably romantic in nature and usually addresses a guy. In the Hunger Games version, it’s Haymitch singing to Katniss and Peeta on how he really needs a break in his life.

 

“Holding Out for a Hero” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Haymitch Abernathy

 

Why have all my tributes gone

And why they went like sods?

Where’s my street-wise protégé

To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t anyone from 12 who’s a very savvy teen?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

 

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life

 

As the Games approaches

While I try to do my best

So I won’t have to watch both of you

Having a weapon lodged in your chest

Trapped in the arena and up against Careers

It’s gonna take some miracle to get you out of there

 

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life

 

Out in the arena there’s every danger above

When everything’s working against you

I will be following the Games at some place

Watching you

 

Get out of the Cornucopia fight ASAP

For it’s a quick way to die

If you want my advice

Just try to stay out alive

 

[Chorus:]

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be strong

And they gotta be fast

And they gotta get out there alive

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the fight

They gotta be smart

And it’s gotta be soon

And they gotta be larger than life