Here is a picture of me and my sister Molly at KDKA during my first Hometown Hi-Q match in my junior year of 2006. My parents later used it for their family Christmas card that year.

Apparently, Chewbacca doesn’t care for being in family photos that much. Still, I’d be worried about Darth Vader force choking him for ruining it.

Now that is just so unintentionally inappropriate to put on a Christmas tree. Yeah, “Merry Christmas, Ho” how that got passed the school’s code of decency, I’ll never know.

But luckily, she passed out near the Christmas tree. So it could’ve been worse like what happened to the old lady who got run over by Santa’s sleigh that someone wrote a song about.

Now that’s going to traumatize the little kids seeing this picture. Of course, the dog’s face is just priceless. Wonder what it’s thinking.

What astounds me is how they have a Christmas sweater like this in a child’s size. Then again, I don’t consider bathroom humor as anything inappropriate for young children. I think most kids would get the joke.

I’m sure the girl’s just wearing a costume. But her being next to a boy with sunglasses just makes it seem like she’s a Russian child bride of some sorts. Yeah, this has some pretty unfortunate implications.

Okay, I know that I make fun of Elf on the Shelf on the account of how creepy it is. But this photo makes me feel like I owe Elf on the Shelf an apology. And I don’t blame the little kid getting scared of that nightmare inducing dummy.

Now that has to be one of the tackiest figure skating poses I’ve ever seen. It’s like Edith Bunker skating with a young Roger Ebert. Don’t have time to explain the references to my younger viewers but you get the idea.

Now that is just an unfortunate thing in a photo op that can’t be helped. Yeah, everyone seems to be paying more attention to the two dogs humping than anything.

And it seems everyone is going along with the idea except Norman who can’t help but wonder how being pictured from the outside is. He has a very valid point.

Now this one has a girl posing for the photo but Mom and her little brother are engaged in some kind of argument in the background. Yes, family togetherness at its finest.

Apparently, the merry Christmas spirit was surprisingly absent in this family. Yeah, let everyone know how you really feel this holiday season.

And to think these two would grow up together to be such great friends. Then baby sister pins her big brother to the floor during a photo shoot.

Now this little baby really didn’t want to do its first Christmas picture. Still, that look is just so priceless.

It’s even funnier that, this isn’t a very sketchy Santa Claus either. Then again, there are a lot of kids who are scared of Santa so let’s give this boy some slack.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. That baby has his hand in a very awkward position. But sometimes you can’t help that.

Of course, let’s hope that none of their friends or family have any connection to PETA. And that this family is actually in Alaska. Because it would be silly if they’re not.

Of course, I don’t think IKEA sells bikes or bike parts. But if IKEA did sell bikes, they wouldn’t be great presents for Christmas since there’s some assembly required.

Yeah, having Santa near the booze in thick glasses. That’s a great idea (sarcasm). Still, this photo looks pretty sad if you think about it.

Of course, I wouldn’t expect Santa Claus to prefer Subway sandwiches, after how the chain’s famous spokesman was revealed to do very naughty things. Still, this is a pretty funny picture and yes, I would try to pose with Santa on his break.

Seems like Santa seems to like young mothers sitting on his lap. Doesn’t seem to pay much attention to the kid. Yeah, don’t show this picture to the Mrs. Claus.

As to why somebody’s dad would wear that type of underwear, I have no idea. Still, he could’ve used a step ladder to avoid the embarrassment. Also, that girl seems like she’s enjoying this.

Still, despite how the kids think their parents making out is disgusting, at least they can be happy that Mommy and Daddy aren’t getting a divorce. Nevertheless, this photo was probably staged, anyway.

Apparently, it probably was a Christmas tradition back in the day. But somehow it never caught on. Then again, this chicken seems to look as if Big Bird has just escaped from a mental ward.

I don’t know about you. But these Christmas cookies don’t seem fit for family consumption if you ask me. But I’m sure the people at Hooters might think them a godsend.

Of course, it’s apparent that this mother suffered a little accident and now part of her bra and cleavage are showing. And Santa seems well aware of it.

Seems like this Santa has spent too much time partying last night that he’s got a really bad hangover. So go easy on him, kids. Because Santa isn’t in his best mood today.

Yes, Millers, enjoy your moose kill photo op while it lasts. Because Bullwinkle is really not going to be pleased when he finds out about what you’ve done the male members of his family.

Now this is such a terrible picture on so many levels. And what the hell is is with that background? That’s just creep shit, man.

Unfortunately, the “Joy” sign in this picture is probably the closest thing we’ll come to it her. Yeah, little kids are cute, but sometimes they just don’t like taking pictures.

Is it just me, or does the dog seem like the voice of reason in this picture? Yeah, the presence of the taxidermied deer kind of makes this room a bit creepier. And I know that’s taxidermy because you can see the seam.

Now it seems that the parents thought it was a good idea at the time. However, Ralph’s smile couldn’t conceal the fact he felt this hot tub photo op was stupid.

Now this photo was probably done as a joke as you can see. Still, this dad must have a wonderful sense of humor around the holiday season.

This is a recent family Christmas picture from a congresswoman from Nevada. It was to support her stance against gun control. Yeah, nothing says “Peace on Earth” this Christmas than having your family armed to the teeth. What a bunch of NRAssholes.

Now this baby seems like: “Thanks a lot, Mom and Dad. Now I’m going to pretend that I don’t even know you anymore.”

Yeah, Dad, just rub it in to your deer hunting friends who didn’t even get one this season. And it seems like some of these dogs want the hog the camera. As for the cats, not so much.

Let’s hope what’s ever in those glasses is just grape juice. Because I think the parents could risk arrest for serving alcohol to minors. And I’m sure there’s at least one person in here who’s under 21. The candles make the scene even more disturbing.

Now Elf on the Shelf is pretty creepy enough. But seniors thinking it as a good Christmas photo op idea? Now that’s just plain freaky. Still, they probably did it as a joke.

“Well, I want a Ninja Turtle, some jet skis, some Hot Wheels racing cars, a new baseball bat, a model airplane, a lightsaber…” You get the idea.

Seems like Mom and baby just blend right into the upholstery. Still, I think that checkered pattern may be fine for a recliner. Not so much for pajamas.

Now this picture seems to be the epitome of all Christmas tackiness in the 1980s. Also, the woman looks a bit tipsy and the cookies don’t seem the most appetizing.

Something tells me that this Santa really doesn’t like his gig so much. And he’s not afraid to express in what’s supposed to be a wholesome family photo.

Girl: “Grandma, what a disgusting dish you have.” Grandma: “The better to poison you with, my dear.”

I think this photo op is staged as a joke. Still, you have to wonder what kind of responses this family received. And it appears one of the brothers is like, “My girlfriend is totally going to break up with me when she sees this.”

Now I have nothing against cross dressing or how someone expresses their gender identity. I have nothing against RuPaul either. However, I just don’t think RuPaul’s Drag Race makes a good theme for your family Christmas card. That’s just me.

Of course, this picture is obviously photoshopped. But yeah, it really doesn’t present a wholesome idea when you look more closely.

Yeah, I couldn’t avoid a ridiculous family costume photo op in this post. And it seems this family is dressed up as snowmen. Still, I wonder what the kids think of it now.

Apparently, doing a live nativity scene has it’s own unique set of challenges. Still, having an angel on a barn roof is kind of ridiculous. Let’s hope there’s a ladder somewhere so she could get down.

I don’t know about you. But I don’t think a Jacuzzi is an ideal place for a family photo op. But that’s my opinion.

Unfortunately, the sight of crying children in a Christmas photo doesn’t really inspire love for me. Then there’s the baby wondering what the hell is going on here.

Because there’s a strong chance something like this might happen. And yes, everyone in this photo seems to be enjoying themselves over it, too.

“Smile? Why do I have to smile for this? No, I won’t smile for the camera. Smiling’s stupid.”

Seems like Granny wasn’t previously consulted about the arrangement. Now she’s screaming for dear life to the glee of everyone else.

Yeah, everyone seems to think Daddy looks a bit funny in a dress that’s way too short for him. Still, if it was my dad, I wouldn’t find it so amusing.

Now these people seem like they can be related to the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Could they possibly be from another planet? I wonder if MIB knows about this.

Of course, only Peter was able to smile. The rest look like, “I really hope nobody at school sees this when it gets put on a Christmas card.”

Now I can totally understand dressing into candy cane suits. But what the hell does bacon have to do with Christmas? Also, they kind of remind me of the time when Lady Gaga wore her meat dress to the Grammys.

I suppose these men are members of the Polar Bear Club. Because they probably live in a place where there’s lots of snow (which isn’t my neck of the woods) and they’re not in appropriate winter clothing. Still, the shirtlessness could’ve been worse.

“If this was Star Trek, then I’m sure all of us would be murdered if Kirk decided to take us to beam us down to the planet. Still, if you want me to smile, then I’m not going along with it. It’s lame.”

Ever since Helen married Norman, her family couldn’t help but wonder whether he was a perfectly nice guy with no fashion sense or something more sinister behind a harmless facade. It was hard to say.

Apparently, he was so excited by the fountain that he had absolutely no idea that he was supposed to pose for a photo op. Yeah, seems baby is a little occupied by watching water spout from the pond.

Seems that the boy in this picture thinks was expecting things to go worse than they did in this photo shoot. Of course, for him, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Not sure about climbing the tree to put the star on top. And it seems that Scruffy is loaning his support. Still, it’s totally photoshopped.

Of course, I’m not sure if wearing a cone on your heads is one of them. Still, the dog seems like, “I know you want to show support for me. But please, can’t you just not try anything embarrassing? This is going too far.”

Yes, I know this is staged. But still, a puppy out of the oven is kind of disturbing. Even more so that it’s being pulled out by a happy little girl in a Santa hat. Yeah, that’s messed up.

Or in this case, literally under Christmas wrapping paper. Yes, it appears that Santa has now taken Kelly Clarkson and her family hostage.

Now is it just me who has no idea what the hell pigs have to do with Christmas? And it doesn’t help that these piggies are in bows and tutus for God’s sake. Yeah, this is kind of strange.

“How many of these screaming kids do I have to put up today? Can’t my shift just be over already? I’m already getting tired with it all.”

Now this is the kind of Christmas photo I’d expect from some mad scientist who married his lovely assistant and had kids. Still, he continues to attract a rather creepy vibe as you can see.

Sure he may not look quite like Rainn Wilson’s character from The Office. And I know Dwight doesn’t like cats. But looking at this, he just reminds me of the guy for some reason.

Here’s a picture of me with my sister and cousins at my grandparents’ house during Christmas of 1994. Here I am pictured between my cousins Frank and John while my sister Molly is seated near my cousins Kerry Ann and Josh. Thank God, my parents got rid of that big ugly couch.

I’m sure whenever this woman’s child sees this picture, he or she’s going blush in deep embarrassment and wonder what the hell she was thinking. Still, I don’t think these kinds of photos are a great idea. An expectant mother has a whole life ahead of her to embarrass her child.

Okay, now I understand why my dad doesn’t put up Christmas lights. Also, kids, can’t you just help your daddy and hold up the ladder? I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.

Looks like Santa Claus has stopped listening to that girl a long time ago. I mean he’s basically dreaming of a white Christmas at this point.

“I didn’t wear the pajamas because I don’t sleep in pajamas. I sleep in my underwear like this.” Of course, who’d want to send this picture in a Christmas card? Seriously, I’m sure nobody wants to see the dad’s man boobs here.

Santa Claus: “Great, now I have to pose in this photo with these metal fan kids and their kids. I need a vacation.” Love Santa’s expression in this.

Rebellious children, sometimes hating your parents gets started when they’re young. Of course, I’m surprised it isn’t the daughter in the kimono like dress that seems to be made from a shower curtain.

Never has going to Santa land seem oh, so horrifying, but I’m sure the kid’s not scared. Still, what the hell is the Easter Bunny doing here? Also, what’s with the clown?

So I guess this is what the crew members from the Enterprise receive from their relatives around the Christmas season. I would think this one came from LaForge’s family but he’s black and probably not married. Then again, maybe he was adopted.

Now while Jake is certainly reveling in the Christmas spirit with a bow on his head, I’m sure Tony is trying to disguise his embarrassment and hope nobody at school finds out.

Now I wonder who’s idea it was for everyone to be photographed wearing the same set of ugly pajamas. Not to mention, what the hell is the Timberland boots doing here?

I’m sure the younger one is less than a year old but she seems to have murder on the mind. I’m not sure about the older boy though.

This would be the perfect way to embarrass a NASA astronaut during the Christmas season. Also, what the hell do astronauts have to do with Christmas anyway? Then again, they probably thought it would be awesome but didn’t think it through.

Wait a minute, doesn’t the Last Supper pertain to the moment of Jesus celebrating Passover right before he’s about to be crucified? Seems more appropriate for Easter than Christmas.

Well, maybe not quite a family nativity scene but I’m sure they didn’t have safari hats or bright blue robes in Palestine during the Roman Empire.

I’m sure the dripping paint from “Merry Christmas” doesn’t seem to bring in the holiday cheer. Also, the mom seems to resemble Tim Curry’s character from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Actually, maybe this family should’ve stuck with reindeer antlers. Bunny ears either reminds me too much of Easter or Playboy.

Yet, I sure hope the “lift” part was in the figurative sense. Still, how did this guy ever get a hold of such machinery?

Soon little Nellie will have her revenge once the adults leave the premises. Julie will pay for what she did to Nellie’s poor baby doll. Oh, yes, she will.

Man, some kids just don’t know how to share the spotlight. Then again, other kids must not care as much. Still, sibling rivalries do start out young, do they?

Now I’m sure this family isn’t setting a great example. Of course, those kids will soon die young in the hospital with their lungs all full of tar.

I especially feel bad for the boy who seems to have to wear a speedo. Man, I don’t know about you but swimsuits don’t seem to have anything to do with Christmas for me.

Nothing makes a grandfather feel old than getting a new toilet seat for Christmas. Still, pretty funny though.

Boy, Carly is going to have a very hard time pinning her dad for this year’s Festivus. Also, I’m sure this picture was taken way before 1997.

Looks like somebody really doesn’t want to get her picture taken. “Look away from the light, I tell you. Look away from the light.” Still, family doesn’t seem like an enthusiastic bunch.

Then again, I think many rednecks might find it very offensive if you really think about it. Still, you have to admire how this couple recycles beer packaging and cigarette cartons. Also, pregnancy is a great time to quit smoking, seriously.

Seems like everyone here’s in the Christmas spirit save Leslie in the lower left corner who thought this photo op was a stupid idea from the get go.

Maybe she shouldn’t have drank all that juice this morning. Now she has to change her blue jeans. Still, I wonder if anyone noticed the little accident.

I don’t know why anyone would want to tie their kid up in Christmas lights for a photo. That’s really messed up.

Now I’m very sure that’s from the 1970s because I think the chances of a man standing with pride in his short shorts nowadays would seem very unlikely today.

In all fairness, this seems to be the kind of Christmas card you’d see from The Wire. Seriously, the man with the money seems to reflect a lot of negative African American stereotypes if you know what I mean.

For some reason, I can’t help but wonder whether this family picture is from a commercial. Yet, they do seem like they could all be related.

Now this is one of those Christmas photos that makes me scratch my head and wonder, “What the hell were these parents on to think that this was a good idea?” Also, the parents look as if they’ve just stepped out from a tanning salon.

However, it seems like the photographer’s focus in this picture isn’t so much the baby as it pertains to Mommy’s huge lactating milk sacks. Seriously, you have no idea that this is a family portrait until you see the baby’s face being obscured in the parents’ arms.

I don’t know about you but if I saw people popping out of my presents, I’d freak out. I’m sure they either used photoshop or a very big box.

I’m sure little Scotty is afraid of Santa Claus and his older brother Billy is reveling in it as we speak.

I’m sure these parents weren’t familiar with rap music to notice that the word, “ho” has another meaning. Still, seems that the youngest had other ideas.

Okay, I think it’s really just a homeless guy in a fur coat carrying a sack, not Santa. I mean Santa wears a read suit. Then again, the beard is pretty clean.

Well, Mommy had to pay through college somehow back in the day. Amazing her outfit still fits all these years. Nevertheless, not something you’d wear for a family Christmas picture.

Then again, from how that girl looks in the picture she could be either getting ready to cut down a Christmas tree or kill her family. I mean she seems a bit eerily terrifying in this.

Because what other family would you expect to stack up their kids to pose as a Christmas tree? Yet, they seem to be very happy about it though.

Don’t look, now but I think something very bad went down in this room. Not to mention, there’s an arm coming out from the box.

Seems like the Dos Equis guy is traveling the world so much that he doesn’t get to see his grandchildren very often. Also, I didn’t know he had a wife. Hope she puts up with his peccadilloes since he’s the Most Interesting Man in the World.

Okay, so they may be on a Hawaiian vacation but still. I’m not sure if I think taking a Christmas card picture in a hot tub is a good idea.

Before Quentin Tarantino started directing very violent movies, he had wanted to become a dancer but his parents wouldn’t allow it.

I wonder who thought having shirts like that was a testament to fashion sense. Probably someone on drugs at the time.

Of course, this tree was decorated in that if Tanya did anything naughty, the doll heads would haunt her in her dreams. Really creepy stuff.

Of course, there are some things families shouldn’t do together like going to an outhouse. Still, pretty hysterical.

I wonder if this mall ever does a background check on any prospective Santas. I’m not sure if this one belongs on the “Nice” list if you know what I mean.

Now telling your kids not to twerk is one thing. Telling your parents not to twerk, well, there’s no way they’ll listen to you.

Now perhaps putting Dad near the gun display wasn’t a good idea. Seriously, seems like some invisible person is about to shoot him in the head.

Now I’m sure wearing those gift boxes can’t be comfortable. Also make them look pretty idiotic if you really think about it. Also, what’s with the Mickey Mouse Santa hats?

Or from the family who thinks they’re too cool for the rest of the neighborhood with their fashion sense still stuck in the 1980s. I mean one of the boys in the back has a mullet.

I bet that baby’s thinking, “Jesus Christ, Dad, why the hell did you have to dress up as the New Year’s baby? What are the kids in daycare going to think about this when they see this picture? I don’t want to dwell on it.”

Can anyone please explain to me how they thought dressing up as Christmas light bulbs was a good idea? Because they seem to be some kind of rendition of Fruit of the Loom characters.

Now I’m sure the leopard print doesn’t come from real fur. But still, such a family photo op is bound to make PETA furious.

Also, I’m sure those two aren’t wearing anything under the towel and that they’ll make love under it after the photo shoot is over.

Then again, a more plausible explanation for her orangeness probably has to do with being John Boehner’s sister. Yeah, that orange tan runs in the family. Must be a genetic disorder of some sort.

Actually for the love of God, don’t ever give your children guns for Christmas, let alone assault rifles. Still, these children seem like they’re out to cause a neighborhood shooting spree.

Now I’m sure he may be drug free now but boy do those tattoos tell you that he’s done the time. Nevertheless, I think concealer would be a great Christmas present for him.

What Jenny really wanted was an alligator purse, not an actual gator in the stroller. You can see why she’s very upset right now. Then again, the stuffed alligator might’ve been for one of the parents but it got mixed up.

I’m sure I sometimes feel that way, too when I have to stand for pictures, especially if they have to do another take.

I don’t know about you but they could also seem like they’re members of a cult in these outfits. Still, doesn’t seem very flattering.

Face it, folks, it was either this or the sugar plum fairies. And Dad really didn’t want to dress as a sugar plum fairy.

Now the Christmas lights expectant mother was one thing but this? How in the hell did anyone think it was a good idea? Hope that baby never sees this picture.

Holy shit, that’s Stephen King with his family. Certainly explains a lot there. Nevertheless, hope he’s not writing The Shining at this point.

I’m not sure if Grandma knows what Taebo is or if anyone at the high rise does either. Still, she probably never took it out of the packaging.

Some girls just want to rub it in on Santa. Man, this girl must not like the new cleaning trolley Santa sent her this year. Then again, would anyone?

“Okay, so after you’re done taking pictures of me on the rocking horse, can we be done here? Also, I just pooped in my diaper.”

Sure their clothes may seem like they’re made from the table cloths you’d find at Bob Evans. Yet, they really don’t seem to be down on the farm so to speak.

Let’ hope he doesn’t burn down the tree like Uncle Lewis did in Christmas Vacation, which led to that iconic squirrel scene.