Note: This post contains major spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or saw the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2, best not see this. It might ruin it for you.

As president of District 13, Alma Coin was the defacto leader of the rebellion who set herself to unite the other districts against a common enemy. Then again, she was probably the one who assumed leadership of the rebellion once Katniss accidentally sparked one. And it had more to do with the fact she was the leader of a district that the Capitol pretty much left alone due to a mutually assured destruction pact. Nevertheless, throughout the years, Coin has been there for District 13 thick and thin. Yet, as Alma means soul and a coin has two sides, she’s always had a rather two sided nature. At first she might be the kind of strong competent leader who’d bring Panem to an era of peace and prosperity. But as you get to know her, she’s a power hungry woman who’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants like bombing children and framing it on Snow. Since Prim was killed in the bombings, Katniss is utterly devastated and heartbroken.

As for a song on Coin relishing in her moment of triumph, I decided to go with “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina,” from Evita. It’s the part in the musical when Eva Peron is bearing farewell to the people of Argentina as the country’s first lady. Nevertheless, the musical portrays her in a very negative light akin to one would be if a musical on Barack Obama was based on his Conservapedia page. For the Hunger Games version, I have Coin give her speech on the balcony saying farewell to the people of District 13 as she assumes the interim presidency of Panem. But little does she know….

“Don’t Cry For Me, District 13”

Sung by President Alma Coin

It won’t be easy

You’ll think it strange

When I try to explain how I feel

That I still need your love

After all that I’ve done

You won’t believe me

All you will see

Is a girl you once knew

Although she’s at the luxurious Capitol

Instead in the old bunker with you

I’ve taken the burden

And honor

Of declaring myself as Panem’s president

As we’ve won a great victory

But at a great cost of our lives

It won’t be easy

Creating a future that’s right at our door

Rebuilding all we have lost

So we can live life anew

Don’t cry for me District 13

The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days

My mad existence

I kept my promise

Don’t keep your distance

I bid you welcome to a new Panem

On the Avenue of Tributes

We’re all gathered to witness

A great moment of justice

Today, our Katniss

Our friend of the revolution

Will fire the shot

To end all wars and tyranny

And usher a new era in bloom

Don’t cry for me District 13

Don’t cry for me District 13

The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days

My mad existence

I kept my promise

Don’t keep your distance

Mockingjay

There’s nothing more I can think of to say to you

But all you have to do

As your heart is so pure

So shall your aim be true

For a long time in Panem, it was supposed that victors of the Hunger Games would never have to go back into the arena again. Katniss thought the same even though the idea of mentoring tributes for the rest of your life isn’t great either. And then there’s the Quarter Quell which takes place every 25 years which is a special  Hunger Games featuring a unique twist to the rules. These were said to be supposedly prescribed at the end of the Dark Days to serve as a reminder of some aspect of the first rebellion. One Quell could have tributes chosen by popular vote from the districts. Another could have twice as many tributes reaped from each district as usual (which was the year Haymitch won his Games, by the way). But who the hell knows what inspires the rule changes anyway? The Capitol could’ve just made such stuff up. Nevertheless, unfortunately for Katniss, the third Quarter Quell rule just happened to state that the tributes of each district that year would be selected among the 59 surviving victors. And Katniss just happened to be the only female victor from District 12, which means she’ll have to go back automatically. You know what that means.

For the song expressing Katniss’s reaction to the news, I decided to go with “Damned for All Time/Blood Money” from Jesus Christ Superstar. The original version depicts Judas Iscariot going to the chief priests and making a deal that he’d rat Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver. For the Hunger Games version, I decided to go with Katniss running to Haymitch’s place after hearing the news of the Quarter Quell rule change as well as the two along with Peeta trying to decide what to do about it. Now I know a scene like this isn’t 100% to the books or the movies, but I hope it just captures the idea.

 
“Damned for All Time” (Hunger Games Edition)

Katniss: Now they just announced the Quarter Quell

They’re reaping victors and now I don’t feel so well

I’m 12’s only girl victor, I don’t know what to do

I weighed the whole thing up before I came to you

I really think that Snow really wants me dead

I really thought that I wouldn’t be in arena again

Just don’t say I’m

Damned for all time

I came because I need to get a freaking drink

Another Hunger Games I’m just dreading to think

And what about Peeta will he go there, too?

I thought my biggest worry was just saying “I do”

Right now our wedding doesn’t seem so bad

Despite the Capitol is making all the plans

Just don’t say I’m

Damned for all time

{Instrumental Break}

Haymitch, you’re a friend a worldly man and wise

Peeta, my friend I know you sympathize

Why is this year victors? Why are we the ones?

Who have to kill those who’ve previously won

I think I might just have to write my will

Cause I think my survival odds are down the till

Just don’t say I’m damned

For all time

Peeta: Cut the protesting forget the excuses

Let’s see some victors we’re up against

Haymitch: You’re a hunter but your people skills are appalling

We know public relations – you know the bow

Peeta: I’ll volunteer as a tribute if you are selected

Haymitch: Let me handle the victors-I know them well

Not sure if I can kill my friends in the arena

Peeta: But with our charm and connections

Haymitch: Then we can’t fail

Katniss: What the hell are you saying?

Haymitch: Oh, pardon me sweetheart, it’s just talk man-to-man.

Katniss: Please don’t let Peeta in there!

Peeta: But it’s just too late now that you’re going back

Haymitch: Now we need to think about our strategy

I think Peeta has a very good point

We need to do training and we should get started

Don’t worry dear sweetheart, let’s say nothing,

Say nothing, say nothing more

Katniss: I don’t know if I can’t sleep soundly on this night

I just wonder if it’s the only way for Snow to have me dead

Choir: Poor young Katniss

Why screw Katniss

Note: This post contains spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 1, you shouldn’t be viewing this. Might ruin it for you, even if you enjoy Simon and Garfunkel.

When Katniss and her compatriots arrive at District 13, they find themselves in an austere but welcoming atmosphere. After all, District 13 is the headquarters for the rebellion which is headed by their President Alma Coin. And it’s especially accommodating to escaped victors like Katniss, Beetee, Haymitch,and Finnick. I mean such people make great propaganda pieces against the Capitol. Of course, Coin ends up asking Katniss to be the Mockingjay, which she accepts with some demands. Still, while Coin might be a warm and fuzzy type nor seem fond of Katniss, initially, she at least appears all right enough for the two to get on. And as she agrees to be the Mockingjay, Katniss’s relationship with Coin seems to resemble an uneasy but working alliance. That is, at first.

For a good song about Coin’s welcoming disposition toward Katniss, I decided to go with “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel.The song is famous for being featured on the 1967 film The Graduate, which is about a guy who’s fresh out college getting sexually entangled with a middle aged married woman who has all kinds of issues. In the Hunger Games version, I have Coin trying to be accommodating to Katniss after she agrees to become the Mockingjay. Well, in her own special way at least. She’s really not known for being affectionate or warm, in that matter. But compared to Snow, she seems like a reasonable authority figure, well, as far as we know.

“Here’s to You, Katniss Everdeen”

Sung by President Alma Coin

And here’s to you, Katniss Everdeen,

Peeta loves you more than you will know.

God bless you, please Katniss Everdeen.

It’s great that you’re now the Mockingjay,

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

We’d like to know a little bit about you for our files

We’d like to help you learn to help yourself.

Look around you all you see are sympathetic eyes,

Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home.

And here’s to you, Katniss Everdeen,

Peeta loves you more than you will know.

God bless you, please Katniss Everdeen.

It’s great that you’re now the Mockingjay,

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

13 is the hiding place where the Capitol never goes

Though within our pantry there’s no cupcakes.

It’s a little secret just the Rebellion’s own affair.

Most of all you’ve got to hide it from old Snow.

Koo-koo-ka-choo, Katniss Everdeen,

Peeta loves you more than you will know.

God bless you, please, Katniss Everdeen.

It’s great that you’re now the Mockingjay

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

Here’s a little job for you awaiting for you soon.

How about appear in District 8.

Laugh about it, shout about it

When you’ve got to choose

Every way you look at this you lose.

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio,

Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

What’s that you say, Katniss Everdeen.

Jolting Joe has left and gone away,

Hey, hey, hey

Hey, hey, hey

While Katniss becomes a beacon of hope for the rebellion as the Mockingjay, it’s not exactly a role she’s comfortable with. For one, at this point in the story, she’s an emotional wreck. She’s suffering from PTSD after having to participate in the Hunger Games 2 years in a row. District 12 has been bombed and Peeta is being held prisoner by the Capitol. Second, she doesn’t particularly care for the rebellion and only agrees to be the Mockingjay so Alma Coin wouldn’t do anything to Peeta. Well, that along with a desire for revenge against Snow (like wanting to kill him herself) as well as that she can’t just remain neutral and live her life. I mean she helped orchestrate the escape from the arena by shooting an arrow into the force field. With her hometown being destroyed, she has nowhere else to go but District 13 and what she might want might not matter as far as Alma Coin is concerned. Also, in some way she was responsible for starting a revolution, whether she intended to or not. But as a Mockingjay, she’s basically a pawn of Coin who she doesn’t really get along with.

A good parody describing her state of mind as the Mockingjay would be “Carry On, Wayward Son,” by Kansas. The original version describes a soldier’s thoughts as he questions the moral legitimacy of his actions in war. In the Hunger Games version, I have Katniss viewing herself as a revolutionary symbol for a cause she’s basically dragged in and doesn’t have much interest in. Well, other than personal perks like having Coin grant immunity to the imprisoned victors at the Capitol as well as the privilege to kill Snow herself.

“Carry On, Mockingjay”

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

Carry on you Mockingjay

There’ll be peace when it’s on its way

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

Ah

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion

I shot an arrow in the arena, but it knocked me out

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind girl

Though my mind could think I still was a mad girl

I hear the voices when I’m dreaming,

I can hear them say

Carry on you Mockingjay

There’ll be peace when it’s on its way

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

Masquerading as a girl with a reason

My charade is the event of the season

And if I claim to be a wise girl,

Well, it surely means that I don’t know

On a stormy sea of moving emotion

Tossed about, as a tool for their motives

I play their game to free my Peeta,

But I hear the voices say

Carry on you Mockingjay

There’ll be peace when it’s on its way

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you cry no more

Carry on,

You will always remember

Carry on,

Nothing equals the splendor

Now your life’s no longer empty

Surely Peeta waits for you

Carry on you Mockingjay

There’ll be peace when it’s on its way

Lay your weary head to rest

Don’t you cry,

Don’t you cry no more,

No more!

If you’re a tribute from a non-Career district in the Hunger Games and don’t have a lot of charisma or fighting ability, it’s best that you spend as little time as possible in the Cornucopia when the Games begin with a loud gong. And if you’re a tribute in general, don’t step off your platform during the 60 second countdown or you’ll be blown up by landmines. Nevertheless, once the Games begin, most tributes make for the Cornucopia to find food, water, weapons, tools, and other useful items. The most valuable and useful stuff often placed closest to the Cornucopia itself. Not surprisingly, the initial competition for supplies usually results in intense fighting with a significant number of tributes killed in the first few minutes or hours of the Games. Tributes from the lower districts tend to be the most vulnerable because Careers usually band together in alliances that were agreed upon beforehand and are considered brutally aggressive. After the bloodbath, they pursue other tributes one by one until they’re the only ones left to fight each other. The death toll of the Cornucopia bloodbath is usually 8-12 on average.

A good song for the Cornucopia bloodbath scene would be Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust.” Written by bass guitarist John Deacon, this song was the band’s best selling single with over 7 million copies sold. The phrase “bite the dust,” usually means killed or taken out of the competition as well as failure. And in the context of the Hunger Games, any meaning fits quite nicely when it pertains to the Cornucopia bloodbath. Because the Hunger Games is a fight to the death and tributes who die are automatically taken out of the competition. But in the Hunger Games version, I changed some of the lyrics to fit how a bunch of tributes are being taken out in quick succession. I also have it in Katniss’s point of view in which she knows she has to grab something and get out of Cornucopia quickly before the Careers go after her.

“Another One Bites the Dust” (Hunger Games Edition)

Sung by Katniss Everdeen

Oh! Let’s go!

Tributes rushing for their supplies
For the cornucopia way down low
Careers are very vicious and allied
So get a backpack and go

Am I ready, hey, am I ready for this?
Am I fleeing from the carnage you see?
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

How do you think I’m going to get along
Where everyone wants me gone?
I’ve got to use everything that I have
And live it out on my own

Are they happy, are they satisfied?
How long can I stand the heat?
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust

There are plenty of ways that you can kill a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him, you can spear him
You can shoot him bad and leave him when he’s down

But I’m ready, yes, I’m ready for them
I’m running with my own two feet
Out in the arena a cannon blasts
Repeating to the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, they’re gonna get me, too
Another one bites the dust

For a musical on the Hunger Games, I’m rather astonished that I don’t have many songs featuring Effie Trinket. And for a lot reasons, it’s kind of a shame since Effie is the kind of character who’s well suited for a musical since she has a rather cheerful disposition. Sure she hates her job being stuck as escort for District 12, which is the lamest district by the way. But she nevertheless tackles her vocation with enthusiasm and gusto, which you know is bringing kids to die for entertainment of the masses. Because if she does her job right, she might get a promotion. Yet, because her job is escorting kids to the Capitol where they’d almost always die for entertainment, she can be rather cheerful at a time when it’s most inappropriate to the point of obliviousness that she’s more upset about Katniss stabbing a table than almost stabbing Haymitch’s hand. And she can be kind of a ditz or at least has no idea of how Still, she’s one of the series’ best known and well beloved characters. I mean people don’t dress up as her for nothing. Sure she might seem like a frivolous, apathetic bitch, but later on you get the impression that she genuinely cares about Katniss and Peeta. Yet, sometimes it might not seem to be the case. And eventually, Katniss comes to realize that Effie’s shallowness is a defense mechanism to cope with the Games. Still, in a series that’s filled with violence and dark themes, Effie can always offer a few lines that would make people chuckle, even when she’s completely missing the point.

When choosing a good song for Effie Trinket, I went with “Put on a Happy Face” from Bye Bye Birdie, a musical that was loosely based on Elvis Presley getting drafted. The original song was sung by Dick Van Dyke and Janet Leigh in the movie, in which the former is telling her to cheer up. Still, it’s a rather familiar tune even though people have no idea where it came from. In the Hunger Games version, I have Effie Trinket trying to cheer up Katniss and Peeta who are legitimately not happy with facing almost inevitable death at such a young age. It also shows how rather insensitive that she can sometimes seem to be.

“Put on a Happy Face” (Hunger Games Version)

Sung by Effie Trinket

Gray skies are gonna clear up,

Put on a happy face;

Brush off the clouds and cheer up,

Put on a happy face.

Don’t try to think of your own tragedy,

It’s not our style;

You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad

Ya’ decide to smile!

Pick out a pleasant outlook,

Stick out that noble chin;

Wipe off that “impending death” look,

Slap on a happy grin!

And spread sunshine all over the place,

Just put on a happy face!

Put on a happy face

Put on a happy face

And if you’re feeling that your odds aren’t great

Don’t sit and whine

Think of some tasty chocolate cake

And you’ll feel fine

Don’t you two look so gloomy

At least you get some dessert

If you put enough pressure

Then coal turns into pearls

So spread sunshine all over the place

And put on a happy, happy face

Put on a happy, happy, happy face

Oh, come on you two, smile it’s the Hunger Games

Note: This post contains stuff that wasn’t in the movies. So if you haven’t read the books, you shouldn’t be viewing this.Because those who only saw the movies really wouldn’t understand.

When adapting books into movies, screenwriters have to find ways to compress a several hundred page novel into a 2 hour film. This isn’t an easy task. But as with most movie adaptations, things tend to get left out while stuff tends to get changed around. The Hunger Games movies are no exception to that. Yet, one of the major parts that got left out of the movies was the story surrounding Madge Undersee. In the books, she’s the daughter of District 12’s mayor as well as Katniss’s friend at school since both of them found themselves in rather isolated positions due to their place on the socioeconomic ladder. Also, both of them have mothers whose experience with tragedy doesn’t really help their parenting skills. But unlike Katniss, this doesn’t change Madge’s situation too much. Nevertheless, in the books, she’s the person who gives Katniss a Mockingjay pin for luck after she volunteers to be a tribute in her sister’s place. In Catching Fire, it’s revealed that the Mockingjay pin in question was once owned by Madge’s aunt Maysilee Donner who was also a tribute in the Hunger Games (as well as best friends with Katniss’s mother). In fact, she was in it the same year as Haymitch. Yet, unlike Katniss and Peeta, Maysilee didn’t make it. Still, Madge’s story ends when she and her family are killed when District 12 gets bombed at the end. Those who only saw the movies wouldn’t know anything about this girl because Madge isn’t even in it.

When it came to doing a song parody for her, I couldn’t think of a better one than “Diva’s Lament (Whatever Happened to My Part?)” from Spamalot, itself a musical version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The original version has the Lady of the Lake angrily complaining on not making a single appearance in the show since Act II despite being the leading lady. And if she’s the leading lady, then she should more time on stage than most of the other characters. Never mind that she wasn’t even in the original movie at all. In the Hunger Games version, I have Madge Undersee complain how she got adapted out of the movies despite being a rather important character. And in some ways, she kind of has a point.

“Whatever Happened to My Part?”

Sung by Madge Undersee

What ever happened to my part?

I was important at the start.

I am Katniss’s childhood friend

And gave her my dead aunt’s pin.

Nobody knows just who I am

And that the mayor is my dad.

I was in the books you see here

But they cut me from the feature.

Cause my storyline would complicate the plot.

Whatever happened to my part?

Do they know about this pin?

Its backstory thick and thin

It was once owned by my late Aunt Maysilee.

She was reaped but didn’t win,

And unpleasantly done in,

Now Kat receives her pin from Greasy Sae

Whatever happened to my tale?

I’m in the books but not the film.

Now the viewers are all confused,

Not knowing how the pin was used.

I might as well go to the pub

Why do I even try to give a fuck?

I play a role in the first two books

Well they can kiss my tush

It seems to me they’ve really lost the plot

Whatever happened to my

Where’s Suzanne Collins, dammit

Whatever happened to my

Not yours, not yours,

But my,

Part!

Note: This post contains spoilers. So if you haven’t read the books or seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2, you shouldn’t be viewing this.

For some great beauty is a major asset. For others it’s a curse. And in the Hunger Games, this can’t be better illustrated both ways with Finnick Odair. His charm and irresistible good looks made him very popular in the Capitol and helped him gain the sponsors he needed to win his Hunger Games at the tender age of 14. However, after the victory celebrations were over, he developed a reputation as a womanizer who’s left a string of broken hearts at the Capitol. But in reality, President Snow was prostituting him to the highest bidder as well as threatened to kill someone he loved if he refused. So basically for him, “saving it till marriage,” was out of the question.Still, just when you think things can’t get any worse for him, he falls in love with a victor in from his home District 4 named Annie Cresta, who’s seen as mentally unstable but actually has PTSD. But in any case, they’re not supposed to be together as far as the Capitol is concerned. Yet, their love endured despite all odds.And it’s clear that Snow knew about their relationship since the two were reaped for the third Quarter Quell, yet Mags volunteers in Annie’s place in order to die on her own terms. Also, Snow had her arrested when he escaped from the arena with Katniss and Beetee during the Quarter Quell which leaves him devastated and a nervous wreck who could barely hold it together. And yes, Snow uses that as leverage against him. That is, until she’s rescued along with Peeta and Johanna from the Capitol. Once in District 13 together, they proceed to get married. But it’s not long until Finnick is called to serve on the “Star Squad” in the fight at the Capitol. Some guys just can’t get a break.

For an appropriate song parody here, I went with “One Day More” from Les Miserables. In the original, Marius and his buddies are about to start what is known as The June Rebellion which was a clash between middle class young men and the authorities during the 1830s. However, he also just got together with Cosette which puts him in a bind between sticking it to the man with his friends or spending more time with his girlfriend. Let’s just say he should’ve chosen the latter since the Rebellion in that musical was a disaster that resulted in all his friends getting killed. And if Jean Valjean weren’t there to save his ass on Cosette’s behalf, he would’ve joined them. In the Hunger Games version, I have Finnick conflicted between staying with his new wife or going to the Capitol. Yet, I have other characters singing parts in preparation for the Capitol invasion.

“One Day More” (Hunger Games Edition)

[Katniss]

One day more!

Another day, another destiny.

This never-ending road in agony;

As I agreed to be the Mockingjay

I’ll kill Snow with my bow one day.

One day more!

[Finnick]

I did not live until today.

How can I live when we are parted?

[Katniss]

One day more.

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

And yet with you, my world has started!

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own.

[Finnick & Annie]

Will we ever meet again?

[Johanna]

One more day with no one caring.

[Finnick & Annie]

I was born to be with you.

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known.

[Finnick & Annie]

And I swear I will be true!

[Johanna]

But my fighting isn’t there!

[Gale]

One more day before the storm!

[Finnick]

Do I follow where she goes?

[Gale]

At the barricades of freedom.

[Finnick]

Shall I join my brothers there?

[Gale]

When our ranks begin to form

[Finnick]

Do I stay; and do I dare?

[Gale]

Will you take your place with me?

[ALL]

The time is now, the day is here

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Coin]

One day more to revolution,

We will nip Snow in the bud!

And I’ll bomb kids in the Capitol,

So their hands will soak with blood!

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Beetee & Plutarch]

Drop these dirty bombs,

See them as they fall,

Rescuers will blow up

Down there in the Capitol,

Give a little blast

Nail them in the ass

Most of them are goners

So they won’t miss much!

[District 13 (2 Groups)]

[1:] One day to a new beginning

[2:] Raise the flag of freedom high!

[1:] Every man will be a king

[2:] Every man will be a king

[1:] There’s a new world for the winning

[2:] There’s a new world to be won

[ALL]

Do you hear the people sing?

[Finnick]

My place is here, I fight with you!

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Finnick & Annie]

I did not live until today.

[Johanna]

One more day all on my own!

[Finnick & Annie]

How can I live when we are parted?

[Coin(overlapping)]

I will send Katniss’s Peeta

He will follow where she goes

Once he’s close to her he’ll surely

Grip his hands around her throat.

[Katniss]

One day more!

[Finnick & Annie]

Tomorrow you’ll be worlds away

[Johanna]

What a life I might have known!

[Finnick & Annie]

And yet with you my world has started

[Coin (overlapping)]

One more day to revolution

We will nip Snow in the bud

We’ll be ready for these rich snobs

[Betee and Plutarch (overlapping)]

Watch ’em run amok

Blow ’em as they fall

Never know your luck

When there’s a free-for-all!

[Katniss]

Tomorrow we’ll be far away,

Tomorrow is the judgement day

[ALL]

Tomorrow we’ll discover

What the great Capitol has in store!

One more dawn

One more day

One day more!

Note: This post may contain spoilers for those who haven’t read the books or haven’t seen the movies up to Mockingjay Part 2.

As many movies and books have a major epic battle in them, the Hunger Games is no exception. In Mockingjay, District 13 plans and stages an invasion of the Capitol in order to overthrow President Snow who by this point has a long list of terrible deeds in his wake. I’m not sure with all the details on this but I’ll try to set the scene. So President Alma Coin deploys  Katniss and her propo team and a unit called, “The Star Squad” to a seemingly trivial propaganda assignment in the Capitol. However, she has Peeta go along with them despite that he’s still dangerous, unpredictable, and not quite recovered from his hijacking. This leads Katniss to think that Coin wants her dead. Meanwhile, they think that the real invasion is underway and commanded by Paylor which is kind of true. But when it comes to modern warfare, sometimes you might never know where the war is coming to. Which is exactly what happens when Katniss an the Star Squad find themselves up against mutt beasts, armed peacekeepers, and booby trapped pods. Let’s just say it’s a scene of all out urban warfare on the Capitol streets. And it looks like Peeta might attack someone…

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For a song to parody this, I have “The Mob Song” in mind from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. The original has Gaston and the villagers assemble with their torches and pitchforks as well as head to the castle in order to kill the beast. Oh, and Gaston has Belle and Maurice put into a wagon headed for a loony bin but they manage to get out. Still, seeing the scene in the movie makes you understand why the Beast was being such a controlling jerk to Belle in the beginning. Because when it comes to getting a girlfriend in order to break a spell in his neck of the woods, he doesn’t really have a lot of options. For the Hunger Games version, I have Coin sending the Star Squad to the Capitol as the invasion is underway. But I have it end before people start getting killed.

“The Capitol Invasion Song”

[Coin:] The Capitol will make off with your children.

[Crowd:] {gasp}

[Coin:] And will force them to fight it to the death.

[Crowd:] Yes!

[Coin:] We’re not safe till his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill Snow!

[Crowd] Kill him!

[Man I:] We’re not safe until he’s dead

[Man II:] He’ll come stalking us at night

[Woman:] Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite

[Man III:] He’ll wreak havoc on our districts if we let him rule Panem

[Crowd:] So it’s time to take some action, boys

Coin: It’s time to follow me

Old Man Snow

In his city

Through the darkness and the shadows

It’s a nightmare but it’s one exciting ride

Say a prayer

Then we’re there

At the entrance of the Capitol

And there’s something truly terrible inside

He’s a beast

He’s insane

He’s a bastard

He’s sadistic

With a psychopathic streak

Smell his rose

See him roam

But we’re not coming home

‘Til he’s dead

Good and dead

Kill the Beast!

[Katniss:] Okay, but I want to kill Snow personally.

[Coin:] Fine, but go to the Capitol with the propo team and the Star Squad 451. And Peeta’s coming with you, too.

[Katniss:] How’s Peeta?

[Coin:] Well, they say he’s too unstable for combat but I can’t see how he’d be much trouble on a trivial assignment.

[Katniss:] Uhhh….okay.

[Coin:] We’ll rid the country of Snow. Who’s with me?

[Crowd:] I am! I am! I am!

Grab your guns

Get your weapons

[Katniss:] Get up aboard the hoverplane.

[Star Squad:] We’re counting on Boggs to lead the way

Through the streets

Through city

Where within a classy mansion

Something’s lurking that you don’t see ev’ry day

It’s Snow

Smells of blood and white roses

We won’t rest

‘Til he’s good and deceased

Sally forth

Tally ho

Grab your trident

Grab your bow

Praise the Lord and here we go!

[Boggs:] I have this Holo map that will help us avoid known booby trapped, “pods” on the Capitol’s streets.

[Katniss:] Oh, shit, Peeta’s getting out of control. What am I going to do?

[Gale:] Think of something and if that doesn’t work, I’ll kill him.

[Star Squad:] We don’t like

What we’ve understood

That he sure scares us

And this bastard is psychopathic at least

Bring your guns

Bring your knives

Save your children and your wives

We’ll save our country and our lives

We’ll kill the beast!

[Finnick:] I knew it! I knew it was foolish to bring Peeta along.

[Katniss:] Maybe it would have been better if he had never come at all. And I think he’s here because Coin wants me dead because she can’t control me anymore. But we need to help him.

[Peeta:] Can you please kill me now before I start seeing Katniss as mutt again?

[Katniss:] That’s not gonna happen. Besides, this seems like a safe neighborhood.

[Gale:] Encroachers!

[Finnick:] And they have mutts! No!

[Boggs:] Warn everyone! If it’s a fight they want, we’ll be ready for them! Who’s with me?

[Katniss:] Take whatever booty you can find. But remember, Snow is mine!

[Star Squad:] Hearts ablaze

Banners high

We go marching into battle

Unafraid although the danger just increased

Raise the flag

Sing the song

Here we come, we’re fifty strong

And fifty soldiers can’t be wrong

Let’s kill the beast!

Katniss and Peeta’s win at the Hunger Games made them instant celebrities as star-crossed lovers who’d rather die than be forced to kill each other. However, not everyone is happy about it, particularly Panem’s resident dictator President Coriolanus Snow. Unlike many people in the Capitol, Snow knows that Katniss was faking her romance for Peeta for the cameras and saw her idea of a nightlock suicide pact as an act of rebellion against the Capitol. And it doesn’t help that her actions inspired rebellions in several of the districts which leads Snow to determine that Katniss is trouble. So how does he deal with it? Well, for one, he has Seneca Crane put to death for letting both Katniss and Peeta win. Next, in the beginning of Catching Fire, he pays a visit to Katniss’s house in the Victor Village, tells her of the situation, and threatens to harm her loved ones if she doesn’t help defuse the arrest by agreeing to keep up her fake romance with Peeta. She agrees and so does Peeta when she tells him about it so they keep up the ruse. However, as public wedding plans and the Victory Tour are underway, Katniss inadvertently fuels the rebellion in every district she goes with her mockingjay pin becoming its symbol. You can surmise that the growing rebellion is now out of Katniss’s control and that her efforts to defuse it are doomed to fail. Now Snow also has a problem on his hands with Katniss because he can’t just have her executed because her Hunger Games victor status would make her a martyr. Nor could he really have her alive. Fortunately, for him, the the third Quarter Quell is around the corner and Katniss is District 12’s only female victor so….

For a good parody on Snow’s deciding that Katniss must be eliminated, I went with the song, “This Jesus Must Die” from Jesus Christ Superstar. In the original version, the Jewish chief priests at the Temple of Jerusalem are worried about Jesus’s popularity among his followers in the city. To them, Jesus was a rabble rouser who needed to be stopped who not only hurts their influence but if he or his followers lead or inspire some insurrection. And historically, they had reason to worry about Jewish insurrections because the chief priests only existed at the mercy of the Roman Empire and they knew it. One major Jewish insurrection and the Sadducees would be history. This was exactly what happened in 70 A.D. when the Temple was destroyed, but Jesus was already risen by then so he had very little to do with it. In the Hunger Games version, I have Snow and his advisers discussing what to do with Katniss Everdeen who’s inspiring rebellions all over Panem. And yes, Snow knows she must be eliminated, but he doesn’t know how to do so at this point.

“This Katniss Must Die”

Peacekeeper: Good President, the city waits for you
The Capitol and Peacekeepers are here for you

Snow: Ah, all of you, you know why we are here
We’ve not much time and quite a problem here

Crowd on screen: Hosanna! Mockingjay!

Antonius: Listen to that howling mob of blockheads in the street!
A signal with her fingers and District 11’s on its feet

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar
Tell us that you’re who we say you are

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: The victors are in on tour right now to whip us some support

Lucia: A rabble rousing mission that I think we must abort

All: She is dangerous

Crowd on screen: Mockingjay Superstar!

All: She is dangerous

Egeria: Look President, they’re out in District 2.

Lucia: Quick, President, go take her off at once

Snow: No, wait – we need a more permanent solution to our problem

Antonius: What then to do about Katniss Everdeen
Girl’s who’s on fire, hero of fools?

Lucia: More riots, more dresses, more fighting and Peeta

Snow: One thing I’ll say for her: Katniss is cool

Antonius: We dare not leave her to her own devices

Her half-witted fans will get out of control

Lucia: But how can we stop her? Her glamour increases
By leaps every minute; she’s top of the poll

Snow: I see bad things arising: they’ll start to rebel
And overthrow me at hand
I see blood and destruction, our elimination
Because of one girl
Blood and destruction because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one girl

Snow: Our elimination because of one girl

All: Because, because, because of one
Cause of one, cause of one girl

Lucia: What then to do about this Katnissmania?

Antonius: How do we deal with the coal miner’s kid?

Lucia: Where do we start with a girl who’s on fire
Or her star-crossed lover the boy with the bread?

Snow: Fools! You have no perception!
The stakes we are gambling are frighteningly high!
We must crush her completely
So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die
For the sake of the nation, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must die

Snow: So like Crane before her, this Katniss must die

All: Must die, must die, this Katniss must
Katniss must, Katniss must die