Daily Archives: November 27, 2016

Deck the Halls with These Christmas Craft Projects (Second Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

tree

Last year, I did my first Christmas craft post which was a rather big success that I decided to do one for this year. Mostly because I have a lot of craft pictures saved from Pinterest that I could only put on the post which can only have so many slots. After all, Christmas is perhaps the biggest holiday of the year with people decorating their house to reflect the yuletide cheer. Thus, this leads to plenty of Christmas craft projects to choose from. And I mean plenty ranging from Christmas wreaths, Christmas garlands, Christmas tree ornaments, well, you get the idea. Nevertheless, as the Christmas season kicks off, you’ll start seeing people putting up their decorations. Some will buy them from the store or have already. Some will make their own which might take them quite some time. And some may put out the decorations they made from the previous years. I mean craft projects can last a long time. But unlike on Halloween, they must have their cobwebs dusted off first. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another installment of great Christmas craft projects to provide you inspiration for this holiday season.

  1. Oh, crap, Frosty the Snowman is now turned to slush.
Don't worry, this is just a Christmas melted snowman decoration. It's made from cotton and styrofoam. So don't cry all about it.

Don’t worry, this is just a Christmas melted snowman decoration. It’s made from cotton and styrofoam. So don’t cry all about it.

2. A white yarn Christmas wreath must always have red and green flowers.

Well, this is a nice simple Christmas design. Love the flowers. So pretty.

Well, this is a nice simple Christmas design. Love the flowers. So pretty.

3. A winter tulle wreath must always have some patches of shiny blue.

This one has a blue bird and blue flower like it's almost a snow scene. I think it's quite lovely to put on one's front door.

This one has a blue bird and blue flower like it’s almost a snow scene. I think it’s quite lovely to put on one’s front door.

4. You can make a hanging Christmas tree with only 3 wreaths.

Well, this one has 3 wreaths with baubles and decorations galore. Not sure if it's practical for my house. But I like it.

Well, this one has 3 wreaths with baubles and decorations galore. Not sure if it’s practical for my house. But I like it.

5. You could always cuddle with two of these Santa’s little helpers.

Of course, these crocheted elves are much more adorable and much less creepy than the Elf on the Shelf. And you don't have to worry about them being naughty.

Of course, these crocheted elves are much more adorable and much less creepy than the Elf on the Shelf. And you don’t have to worry about them being naughty.

6. You’ll never know what kind of snowflakes you could make with candy canes.

Okay, there's a snowflake in the center. But still, this looks quite sensational to hang in front of your door.

Okay, there’s a snowflake in the center. But still, this looks quite sensational to hang in front of your door.

7. For reds and whites, this candy cane wreath is as sweet as it could be.

It's made from decomesh with candy canes in front. Contains red and white ribbon with red baubles.

It’s made from decomesh with candy canes in front. Contains red and white ribbon with red baubles.

8. Make a jolly entrance with this tulle Santa Claus wreath.

Well, at least the tulle makes up for the beard. Seems like a very simple decoration when you look at it.

Well, at least the tulle makes up for the beard. Seems like a very simple decoration when you look at it.

9. Curl up this Christmas with your very own crocheted snowflake blanket.

This one mainly uses white, gray, and black for contrast. Yet, this is quite lovely.

This one mainly uses white, gray, and black for contrast. Yet, this is quite lovely.

10. It’s always delightful when you have snowman kettle in the home.

Yet, note that this is only used for decoration. But I do love that rosy face.

Yet, note that this is only used for decoration. But I do love that rosy face.

11. Evergreen branches and holly go very well on a wooden frame.

Help if it has some snow and some red birds on it. Think of it as a Christmas nature scene.

Help if it has some snow and some red birds on it. Think of it as a Christmas nature scene.

12. Put some hooks on a fence to hang your stockings.

Helps if all these look the same as well. Yes, they're in ugly sweater pattern. But I'll take it.

Helps if all these look the same as well. Yes, they’re in ugly sweater pattern. But I’ll take it.

13. For a wintry spirit, a Christmas wreath in pink and white should do the trick.

Helps that it has pink poinsettias and a dove on it. Sure it's girly but there's a graceful look about it.

Helps that it has pink poinsettias and a dove on it. Sure it’s girly but there’s a graceful look about it.

14. How about use a wooden panel to paint your own Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Well, you just have a white silhouette of Rudolph. But you do have a red nose and pine wreath on his neck.

Well, you just have a white silhouette of Rudolph. But you do have a red nose and pine wreath on his neck.

15. It’s not a festive Christmas without an evergreen tree skirt with peacock feathers.

Yes, it's quite fancy and unconventional. But this skirt isn't meant to be worn. I've seen a few of these, too.

Yes, it’s quite fancy and unconventional. But this skirt isn’t meant to be worn. I’ve seen a few of these, too.

16. A candy cane yarn wreath must always have red and white stripes.

Doesn't hurt that hit has red and white berries either. Love the snowflake on this.

Doesn’t hurt that hit has red and white berries either. Love the snowflake on this.

17. Looks like a bird laid eggs in this snowman wreath.

Of course, most birds don't lay eggs this time of year. But this will melt your heart nevertheless.

Of course, most birds don’t lay eggs this time of year. But this will melt your heart nevertheless.

18. These snowman flower pot candle holders will light up your Christmas time.

Yet, note that they could actually melt snowmen. Still, these are adorable.

Yet, note that they could actually melt snowmen. Still, these are adorable.

19. You could make one big snowflake with a set of popsicle sticks.

Well, it's much more doable than some of the other crafts here so far. Still, it's so simple and easy to hang.

Well, it’s much more doable than some of the other crafts here so far. Still, it’s so simple and easy to hang.

20. A twig Christmas snowflake brings a rather rustic touch.

Sure it's a strange spin if you get my drift. But it's so unique that I couldn't ignore this any longer.

Sure it’s a strange spin if you get my drift. But it’s so unique that I couldn’t ignore this any longer.

21. You can always make a great Christmas wreath with holly berries and tree branches.

Now this is the kind of holly wreath to put on one's front door. Love the plaid ribbon.

Now this is the kind of holly wreath to put on one’s front door. Love the plaid ribbon.

22. You never know what presents are on this urn.

Actually they're just boxes with nothing in them since they're only used for show. But I love how they have different patterns.

Actually they’re just boxes with nothing in them since they’re only used for show. But I love how they have different patterns.

23. A Christmas wreath should be as pearly white as the snow.

Of course, you can't bet on a white Christmas where I live. But I wouldn't mind owning a wreath like this.

Of course, you can’t bet on a white Christmas where I live. But I wouldn’t mind owning a wreath like this.

24. You can’t celebrate Christmas without a wreath of poinsettias.

Sure they're Mexican flowers that just won't die. But they really add a lovely Christmas touch.

Sure they’re Mexican flowers that just won’t die. But they really add a lovely Christmas touch.

25. This amigurumi Rudolph will always keep your spirits bright.

Like how he has the little red and green scarf around his neck. Yes, this is adorable as can be.

Like how he has the little red and green scarf around his neck. Yes, this is adorable as can be.

26. A jeweled Christmas tree must always have a silver frame.

I put one of these on my Christmas craft post from last year. Yet, I think this one has a certain radiance as well. Lovely.

I put one of these on my Christmas craft post from last year. Yet, I think this one has a certain radiance as well. Lovely.

27. Nothing can make you resist this little angel and fawn.

Tis the season for cute angels as always. But I'm sure this is bound to melt frozen hearts.

Tis the season for cute angels as always. But I’m sure this is bound to melt frozen hearts. Cute.

28. This little Christmas tree is an avian haven.

Actually the birds on this tree are fake and in different colors. But a bird fan will love it.

Actually the birds on this tree are fake and in different colors. But a bird fan will love it.

29. Pink and purple flowers are resplendent on this ornament.

These flowers are quite lovely on this off white Christmas ornament, Love the ribbons, too.

These flowers are quite lovely on this off white Christmas ornament, Love the ribbons, too.

30. With a stiff doily, green paint, and a ribbon, you can make a fancy Christmas wreath.

Judging by the size, this will most likely be a Christmas tree ornament. But a stunning one it will be.

Judging by the size, this will most likely be a Christmas tree ornament. But a stunning one it will be.

31. Have your Christmas guests set a drink on these crocheted ornament coasters.

You can also call them pot holders, too. And they all come in so many different colors.

You can also call them pot holders, too. Or ornaments as you see fit. And they all come in so many different colors.

32. A jeweled tree must always have an array of decorations.

Well, this one is quite stunning. Never underestimate what you can do with recycled jewelry pieces. Beautiful.

Well, this one is quite stunning. Never underestimate what you can do with recycled jewelry pieces. Beautiful.

33. Deck your mantle this Christmas with these ribbon trees.

Both are mostly green with some red ribbon for trimmings. They also have shiny balls on top.

Both are mostly green with some red ribbon for trimmings. They also have shiny balls on top.

34. A snowflake wreath always captures the winter magic.

This is another easy wreath. Just need a hoop, white yarn, and craft snowflakes. Lovely.

This is another easy wreath. Just need a hoop, white yarn, and craft snowflakes. Lovely.

35. These felt gingerbread men will always delight at your front door.

Each one has a bow tie and buttons to your joy. Love how one has some pine branches. Cute.

Each one has a bow tie and buttons to your joy. Love how one has some pine branches. Cute.

36. Dress your little girl for Christmas with one of these pairs of crocheted shoes.

Come in red and white. Red pair has white ribbons. White pair has holly leaves and a bow.

Come in red and white. Red pair has white ribbons. White pair has holly leaves and a bow.

37. For a rustic Christmas tree, grace it with a pine cone angel.

This looks like something a child may do in school. So I'm sure you'll have no trouble to make it.

This looks like something a child may do in school. So I’m sure you’ll have no trouble to make it.

38. Don’t like Christmas wreaths? How about a Christmas basket?

This one even has a birdhouse in it along with skates and a red ribbon. Still, you can't go wrong with this. Love it.

This one even has a birdhouse in it along with skates and a red ribbon. Still, you can’t go wrong with this. Love it.

39. A white Christmas wreath like this should bring you into a winter wonderland.

This one is quite fancy compared to the snow wreaths I posted so far. But I couldn't do a second craft post without it.

This one is quite fancy compared to the snow wreaths I posted so far. But I couldn’t do a second craft post without it.

40. You can’t be frosty without this snowman amigurumi around.

And yes, this little cold thing will warm your heart. I guarantee it. So cute.

And yes, this little cold thing will warm your heart. I guarantee it. So cute.

41. Sometimes a white beaded snowflake can have a rather simple design.

In last year's craft post I had one with more pearls on it. This one has a fewer but no less elegant.

In last year’s craft post I had one with more pearls on it. This one has a fewer but no less elegant.

42. A gingerbread garland always brings a touch on any tree.

I think this comes from salt gingerbread dough which you can't eat anyway. But love how they have the gingerbread man, star, and tree pattern.

I think this comes from salt gingerbread dough which you can’t eat anyway. But love how they have the gingerbread man, star, and tree pattern.

43. A candy cane hanging must always have some holly berries and pine branches.

I used a similar deco mesh candy cane for last year's Christmas craft post. But I like this one much better for some reason.

I used a similar deco mesh candy cane for last year’s Christmas craft post. But I like this one much better for some reason.

44. Grace your front door this Christmas with this evergreen star.

Sure it's not a conventional Christmas decoration. But you have love the flowers in the center.

Sure it’s not a conventional Christmas decoration. But you have love the flowers in the center.

45. This Christmas snow lady will make your heart melt.

It's made from plush and felt. And her dress has some pom pom decorations. But she'll make you thaw.

It’s made from plush and felt. And her dress has some pom pom decorations. But she’ll make you thaw.

46. This Christmas box scene will brighten your holiday season.

This seems to resemble a retro Christmas scene. Like how it lights up.

This seems to resemble a retro Christmas scene. Like how it lights up.

47. These plush tree ornaments come with bows of holly.

Consists of a Christmas tree, birds, stocking, heart, and mitten. At any rate, they're great additions to your tree.

Consists of a Christmas tree, birds, stocking, heart, and mitten. At any rate, they’re great additions to your tree.

48. These winter trees are always a haven for doves.

Love how they light up like trees in the snow. Still, this is a great decoration for those with too much time on their hands. Love it.

Love how they light up like trees in the snow. Still, this is a great decoration for those with too much time on their hands. Love it.

49. A white Christmas dress should always come with angel wings.

Like the peacock skirt, this Christmas dress isn't to wear. Rather it's for decoration. But I love how it lights up a room.

Like the peacock skirt, this Christmas dress isn’t to wear. Rather it’s for decoration. But I love how it lights up a room.

50. This penguin Christmas tree will waddle your way into your heart.

Sure penguins don't live in the North Pole. But they're polar creatures and are so cute. So they're included in Christmas motifs.

Sure penguins don’t live in the North Pole. But they’re polar creatures and are so cute. So they’re included in Christmas motifs.

51. You can always add a pair of ice skates with any Christmas hanging.

This one features a pair of ice skates in a frame with branches and a plaid bow. Has quite a rustic touch.

This one features a pair of ice skates in a frame with branches and a plaid bow. Has quite a rustic touch.

52. It’s always “Noel” with this Christmas hanging.

Seems like something you'd see at a baby nursery or elementary school. At any rate, it's simply adorable.

Seems like something you’d see at a baby nursery or elementary school. At any rate, it’s simply adorable.

53. Your tree can smell sweet with these cinnamon stick Christmas trees.

Each one has some tree limbs with button ornaments. I'm sure they're hard to resist.

Each one has some tree limbs with button ornaments. I’m sure they’re hard to resist.

54. Sometimes a long evergreen garland is needed for a large frame.

And white ice skates give it a key Christmas touch. Not sure if I'd want it in my house, but I'll take it for my post.

And white ice skates give it a key Christmas touch. Not sure if I’d want it in my house, but I’ll take it for my post.

55. How about a Santa hat bouquet at your door?

Flowers inside a Santa hat? Sure they're not poinsettias but they'll do quite nicely here.

Flowers inside a Santa hat? Sure they’re not poinsettias but they’ll do quite nicely here.

56. A white tulle wreath could always use some bejeweled trimming as a Christmas decoration.

Now that looks quite fancy and perfect for a front door on Christmas. Love the flower piece, too.

Now that looks quite fancy and perfect for a front door on Christmas. Love the flower piece, too.

57. You can always cuddle with this crocheted gingerbread man.

This one even has pink trimming and buttons. Though you can't eat it, it's so cute.

This one even has pink trimming and buttons. Though you can’t eat it, it’s so cute.

58. Ever saw an evergreen snowflake before?

This one has branches with pine cones and bare twigs. Has an naturalistic air to it that's perfect for a winter cabin.

This one has branches with pine cones and bare twigs. Has an naturalistic air to it that’s perfect for a winter cabin.

59. Nothing makes Christmas more magical than a bejeweled wreath like this.

Like some Christmas decorations on this and last year's yuletide craft post, this was made with upcycled jewelry. And yes, it certainly looks like a charm.

Like some Christmas decorations on this and last year’s yuletide craft post, this was made with upcycled jewelry. And yes, it certainly looks like a charm.

60. A white yarn wreath should always have red flowers and holly berries.

Well, this is a rather simple wreath. Like how it's Christmasy without being over the top. Lovely.

Well, this is a rather simple wreath. Like how it’s Christmasy without being over the top. Lovely.

61. A lovely Christmas tree always has to be strung with pearls.

Also helps if it has so many buttons and jewels to decorate it. Surely looks festive. Lovely.

Also helps if it has so many buttons and jewels to decorate it. Surely looks festive. Lovely.

62. Nothing is flashier this yuletide season than a bauble frame.

Well, this bauble frame anyway. This is especially the case when it's trimmed with tinsel.

Well, this bauble frame anyway. This is especially the case when it’s trimmed with tinsel.

63. You can make your own Santa Claus ornament with a wooden light bulb.

Just add a hat, holly, and beard and you're all set. Looks amazing, doesn't it?

Just add a hat, holly, and beard and you’re all set. Looks amazing, doesn’t it?

64. On a wreath like this, you find a vibrant Christmas village.

I put a similar wreath like this one on last year's Christmas craft post. But this one has less snow and more snowmen.

I put a similar wreath like this one on last year’s Christmas craft post. But this one has less snow and more snowmen.

65. There’s nothing so stunning this Christmas than an evergreen tree dress.

Seems like it came from a Christmas tree carved as a dress. But it's a great sight to behold.

Seems like it came from a Christmas tree carved as a dress. But it’s a great sight to behold.

66. For more retro decorations, these jeweled trees are just the ticket.

Well, these sure do have a vintage feel to them since they're in pastel colors. Yet, I can't help but love them.

Well, these sure do have a vintage feel to them since they’re in pastel colors. Yet, I can’t help but love them.

67. Spice up your Christmas party look with a pair of Christmas tree earrings.

These are made from beads and wire. The smaller ones wrap around the large green ones as Christmas decorations.

These are made from beads and wire. The smaller ones wrap around the large green ones as Christmas decorations.

68. Count down to Christmas with this Christmas tree advent calendar.

Behind each felt door on this Christmas tree is a little surprise. What it is, I can't say.

Behind each felt door on this Christmas tree is a little surprise. What it is, I can’t say.

69. On this panel you will find the nativity and the Star of Bethlehem.

I was wondering when I'd get down to the nativity decorations. Still, both certainly seem like they're from a midnight clear.

I was wondering when I’d get down to the nativity decorations. Still, both certainly seem like they’re from a midnight clear.

70. Bring your neighbors in awe of you this Christmas with this black yuletide pot.

Contains the baubles and branches for all you desire. And will surely stand out. Love the bow.

Contains the baubles and branches for all you desire. And will surely stand out. Love the bow.

71. A glass Christmas candle will surely brighten the room.

Don't worry, the flame is fake and it's powered by electricity. Still, it's quite radiant to say the least.

Don’t worry, the flame is fake and it’s powered by electricity. Still, it’s quite radiant to say the least.

72. These snowflake pot holders will keep your Christmas kitchen merry.

Come in 4 different colors as seen here. And each snowflake on them is unique. Well, sort of.

Come in 4 different colors as seen here. And each snowflake on them is unique. Well, sort of.

73. This snowflake wreath will surely bring you winter cheer.

I seem to have a lot of snowflake stuff on this blog for some reason. Maybe I'm just in a winter mood.

I seem to have a lot of snowflake stuff on this blog for some reason. Maybe I’m just in a winter mood.

74. Guess you’d like to have this snowman wreath on any frosty day.

Well, it comes with 3 circles along with a scarf and hat. Pretty simple decoration to make by the looks of it.

Well, it comes with 3 circles along with a scarf and hat. Pretty simple decoration to make by the looks of it.

75. Be in the festive Christmas spirit with this peacock feather wreath.

Sure it's a bit nontraditional as a Christmas decoration. But let's just say, it does bring out a lovely color.

Sure it’s a bit nontraditional as a Christmas decoration. But let’s just say, it does bring out a lovely color.

76. There’s nothing softer this Christmas than this snowman pillow.

It even has a Santa hat and a Christmas ribbon at the neck. Can't help but include this one.

It even has a Santa hat and a Christmas ribbon at the neck. Can’t help but include this one.

77. This glass snowflake light will give you a warm winter glow.

Has a nice snowflake design on the front. Love the ribbon on this. Lovely.

Has a nice snowflake design on the front. Love the ribbon on this. Lovely.

78. This Christmas keep your cookies safe in this Santa cookie jar.

Not sure if it will keep most of the cookies away from Santa. Yet, I like how it was made with a flower pot.

Not sure if it will keep most of the cookies away from Santa. Yet, I like how it was made with a flower pot.

79. This Christmas lampshade is perfect for any yuletide lamp.

This one has a stunning winter scene with a red background. Love the fringes.

This one has a stunning winter scene with a red background. Love the fringes.

80. Grace your couch this Christmas season with a pillow with a shiny red bow.

Because during the Christmas season, shiny red bows are totally a thing. Believe me, I know.

Because during the Christmas season, shiny red bows are totally a thing. Believe me, I know.

81. This baby Jesus manger shows us the reason for the season.

Well, to me as a Catholic, anyway. But to each his own. Still, this twig manger is so adorable.

Well, to me as a Catholic, anyway. But to each his own. Still, this twig manger is so adorable.

82. This coffee can hat makes a wonderful Christmas tree topper.

I showed a different one last year with a bird on it. Also has a nice red ribbon, too.

I showed a different one last year with a bird on it. Also has a nice red ribbon, too.

83. This peacock wreath will make a fine Christmas addition on your front door.

This even includes a light blue poinsettia flower for a wintry touch. Love it.

This even includes a light blue poinsettia flower for a wintry touch. Love it.

84. You can’t have Christmas without a wreath containing a shiny metal reindeer.

Now this one is quite stunning. Love the shiny deer and the silver wreath decor.

Now this one is quite stunning. Love the shiny deer and the silver wreath decor.

85. Keep your kitchen jolly with this crocheted wreath pot holder.

Kind of reluctant to use a pot with this one. But it's certainly a unique work of art.

Kind of reluctant to use a pot with this one. But it’s certainly a unique work of art.

86. These Christmas woodland creatures will inspire you with good cheer.

Sure they're all in green and red winter gear. But come on, you have to have a frozen heart not to think these adorable.

Sure they’re all in green and red winter gear. But come on, you have to have a frozen heart not to think these adorable.

87. You’ve never seen a more glamorous tree than this one encrusted with jewels.

Yes, Christmas should be a time with things shining and sparkling. Still, this jeweled Christmas tree is a very resplendent piece.

Yes, Christmas should be a time with things shining and sparkling. Still, this jeweled Christmas tree is a very resplendent piece.

88. Nobody could resist having these clothespin girls on their Christmas tree.

These girls come with different hairstyles and dresses. Yet, all are lovely in their own way.

These girls come with different hairstyles and dresses. Yet, all are lovely in their own way.

89. Got old Christmas light bulbs? Cover them with glitter.

You can even make ornaments out of them if you want. Or you can put them in a bowl.

You can even make ornaments out of them if you want. Or you can put them in a bowl.

90. An angel like this is best to top a simple Christmas tree.

Surely she's a demure beauty of heaven above. Yet, she wears a plain dress and doesn't illuminate.

Surely she’s a demure beauty of heaven above. Yet, she wears a plain dress and doesn’t illuminate.

91. This green Christmas dress will surely light up the home.

Even has a necklace at the neck. No, you can't wear it. But feel free to look as much as you like.

Even has a necklace at the neck. No, you can’t wear it. But feel free to look as much as you like.

92. This candy cane wreath is a sweet Christmas treat.

Well, it's surely a very candy cane colored wreath. Love the lollipops and mints. Stunning.

Well, it’s surely a very candy cane colored wreath. Love the lollipops and mints. Stunning.

93. This jeweled Christmas tree is one with a lot of gold and a lot of color.

You never know what you can make with recycled jewelry. Love the gold and purple decor.

You never know what you can make with recycled jewelry. Love the gold and purple decor.

94. On this Silent Night, this wooden nativity scene will surely suit your fancy.

This one has a stable as well as the peg figures in clothes. Love the gold turbans on the wise men.

This one has a stable as well as the peg figures in clothes. Love the gold turbans on the wise men.

95. Hang this resplendent peacock Christmas wreath in its vibrant glory.

This one is so stunning with the blue and gold bow. Love it.

This one is so stunning with the blue and gold bow. The feathers are so beautiful. Love it.

96. Ladies and gents, I present to you Frosty the Snowman in aluminum.

Yeah, I know I have a a lot of snowmen on this post. Yet, I couldn't pass by this can snowman again.

Yeah, I know I have a a lot of snowmen on this post. Yet, I couldn’t pass by this can snowman again.

97. A purple Christmas ornament like this deserves its own cameo.

Oh, wait, it does have a cameo. Love the ribbons, roses, and lace.

Oh, wait, it does have a cameo. Love the ribbons, roses, and lace.

98. This Christmas angel crystal ornament is the most divine.

Includes a pearl head and golden wings. Love the rose in the middle. Adorable.

Includes a pearl head and golden wings. Love the rose in the middle. Adorable.

99. This Christmas tree pillow will be sensational on your rocking chair.

Well, the tree doesn't look like much. But you have to love the star, ornaments, and candy canes on it.

Well, the tree doesn’t look like much. But you have to love the star, ornaments, and candy canes on it.

100. A red and green Christmas dress should always covered in flowers.

This one is decked with roses, poinsettias, and lights. Such a great Christmas dress it is.

This one is decked with roses, poinsettias, and lights. Such a great Christmas dress it is.

NSFW Elf on the Shelf (a. k. a. the Post I Ruin a Stupid Christmas Tradition) (Third Edition)

Posted by historymaniacmegan on

elf

Parents, it’s that time of year again when Santa sends his little visitor to your children’s home in order to monitor their behavior to make sure they’re good enough for Christmas presents when the big guy visits himself. Yet, be warned that these creepy sprites tend to act very badly when nobody’s looking. And I mean badly in terms of they do stuff that you wouldn’t even dare mention to your little ones. Sure I’ve done an Elf on the Shelf post 2 years in a row, and believe me, there is a lot of crazy shit your family elf can do. After all, an elf can only “move” whenever residents are asleep or away from home, so hours of no supervision can really get to your elf’s head. And since so many elves in so many houses don’t adhere to behavioral standards, I highly suggest parents need to keep an eye on their resident Elf on the Shelf and report professional misconduct on the Internet with aid of a camera. So when you see your resident elf behaving inappropriately, take a picture, show it on the Internet to let your friends know, and call this hotline to report it to Santa at 1-800-555-BAD-ELF1. And now for your reading pleasure, I give you even more instances of Elves on the Shelves that squarely belong on Santa’s “naughty list.” Warning: most of the pictures aren’t for kids and aren’t safe for work.

  1. Oh, no, what the hell happened to Gristlecrumbs?
Okay, so the dogs at him for being creepy. Sure it was a very naughty thing but I couldn't blame them.

Okay, so the dogs at him for being creepy. Sure it was a very naughty thing but I couldn’t blame them.

2. Nice to see Frickles being informed about current events.

Did he just take a dump in that wine glass? Shouldn't he go somewhere else like an elf toilet?

Did he just take a dump in that wine glass? Shouldn’t he go somewhere else like an elf toilet?

3. For Blinkyskins, fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.

"Are you gonna take me home tonight ?/Ah down beside that red firelight/Are you gonna let it all hang out ?/Fat bottomed girls/You make the rockin' world go round"

“Are you gonna take me home tonight ?/Ah down beside that red firelight/Are you gonna let it all hang out ?/Fat bottomed girls/You make the rockin’ world go round”

4. Noel would like to say something for the Ferguson family.

Hey, Noel, nice you can remind us why you're late and all. But please, not in front of the kids.

Hey, Noel, nice you can remind us why you’re late and all. But please, not in front of the kids.

5. Seems like Dinkler has a message for the Granger family.

Okay, is that "murder." Jesus Christ, God help this family. Because Dinkler may be on the homicidal side.

Okay, is that “murder.” Jesus Christ, God help this family. Because Dinkler may be on the homicidal side.

6. Jingle Bell is enjoying a nice quiet movie night with Ken.

Okay, I don't think Barbie will like this. But Jingle Bell doesn't seem to care one bit.

Okay, I don’t think Barbie will like this. But Jingle Bell doesn’t seem to care one bit.

7. No, Blinkle, you don’t light Max on fire!

Yet, he could just as well be trying to light his farts. Either way, this really doesn't bode well for him.

Yet, he could just as well be trying to light his farts. Either way, this really doesn’t bode well for him.

8. “I have you now, Rudolph!”

No, Crumby, you don't pull a knife on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hell, you don't pull a knife on anybody.

No, Crumby, you don’t pull a knife on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Hell, you don’t pull a knife on anybody.

9. “So, ladies, how do we proceed from here?”

Think Freckles has a very dirty mind and a bit of a smoking habit. Clearly, he's not fit to monitor the Westover kids.

Think Freckles has a very dirty mind and a bit of a smoking habit. Clearly, he’s not fit to monitor the Westover kids at this point.

10. Looks like Grimler got into Daddy’s secret drawer.

Did he just get into Daddy's condoms and lube? No, I don't think that plastic thing is a hat, Grimler.

Did he just get into Daddy’s condoms and lube? No, I don’t think that plastic thing is a hat, Grimler.

11. Pinkleskins, how dare you dress like Miley Cyrus at the VMAs.

Apparently, he thought Miley's VMA performance in 2013 was worth remembering. He is sorely mistaken.

Apparently, he thought Miley’s VMA performance in 2013 was worth remembering. He is sorely mistaken.

12. Seems like some of Andy’s toys have taken quite well to Minter.

Is Minter drinking and playing poker with Woody, Buzz, and Rex? Jesus, now my childhood is ruined.

Is Minter drinking and playing poker with Woody, Buzz, and Rex? Jesus, now my childhood is ruined.

13. Seems like someone really wants Tinkleskins to stick it.

But did they really have to decapitate a My Little Pony? That's just fucked up.

But did they really have to decapitate a My Little Pony? That’s just a fucked up way to make an offer he can’t refuse.

14. What did Quinty get himself tied up in this time?

I don't know about you. But if he got this way through BDSM, he's going be in big trouble after Christmas.

I don’t know about you. But if he got this way through BDSM, he’s going be in big trouble after Christmas.

15. Oh, my God, not you, too Wrinklebrush!

What's with the Miley Cyrus routine? Then again, seems like the plushies like it which is disturbing.

What’s with the Miley Cyrus routine? Then again, seems like the plushies like it which is disturbing.

16. No, Hinkly, Mr. Ruskin will not like you getting into his wallet.

Boy, is he going to be in for a world of trouble when Mr. Ruskin gets home. Hinkly ought to be ashamed of himself.

Boy, is he going to be in for a world of trouble when Mr. Ruskin gets home. Hinkly ought to be ashamed of himself.

17. “Say your prayers for stealing Christmas, Grinch!”

Dankles, just because the Grinch doesn't like Christmas doesn't mean you could kill him! And a la Dexter on top of presents? That's fucked up!

Dankles, just because the Grinch doesn’t like Christmas doesn’t mean you could kill him! And a la Dexter on top of presents? That’s fucked up!

18. Looks like Clinky has taken some time off at the North Pole.

What the hell is he doing to Santa? Why the hell is the Abominable Snowman taking pictures? This is messed up on so many levels.

What the hell is he doing to Santa? Why the hell is the Abominable Snowman taking pictures? This is messed up on so many levels.

19. Elfie wants to tell Santa to stick it on Christmas Eve.

Seems like Santa doesn't treat his Elves on the Shelves too well. That or Elfie is such a prick. I don't know how workplace relations are at the North Pole.

Seems like Santa doesn’t treat his Elves on the Shelves too well. That or Elfie is such a prick. I don’t know how workplace relations are at the North Pole.

20. Seems like the Vitales couldn’t handle any more of Winkleross’s insane antics.

Guess this what happens to an Elf on the Shelf if they've behaved really naughty during the Christmas season. Guess it was for the best.

Guess this what happens to an Elf on the Shelf if they’ve behaved really naughty during the Christmas season. Perhaps it was for the best.

21. Seems like the Lego people have had enough of Sugar Plum.

Of course, everyone should've know it would come to this. The Lego people were against him from the very beginning.

Of course, everyone should’ve know it would come to this. The Lego people were against him from the very beginning.

22. Vinklevoss apparently takes well to sheep.

No, that's not how you treat a sheep. Bestiality is depraved and wrong for a reason. And no, the animals don't like it.

No, that’s not how you treat a sheep. Bestiality is depraved and wrong for a reason. And no, the animals don’t like it.

23. Let us leave and give Trinkler his privacy.

Is he licking that candy cane through a glory hole? Please don't tell me it's as dirty as it looks.

Is he licking that candy cane through a glory hole? Please don’t tell me it’s as dirty as it looks.

24. Oh, look, Elksie made a pie. Isn’t that sweet?

Uh, on second thought, maybe it's better to pass. Because I don't want to know what's in it. Also, that looks like a finger.

Uh, on second thought, maybe it’s better to pass. Because I don’t want to know what’s in it. Also, that looks like a finger.

25. Okay, what the hell’s going on with Rinky?

Guess the toys have had enough with him that they put him in a blender and served him as a smoothie. Yes, that's really sick, indeed.

Guess the toys have had enough with him that they put him in a blender and served him as a smoothie. Yes, that’s really sick, indeed.

26. Aww, Finley just spelled out Santa in blocks.

On second thought, he spelled out "Satan." And I'm not sure if he did it by accident.

On second thought, he spelled out “Satan.” And I’m not sure if he did it by accident.

27. No, Quinkler, don’t you dare hold Barbie hostage!

He even wrote a ransom note for Ken in the meantime requesting unmarked bills to his lawyer. Or else, Barbie gets it. Ken, I think you might want to take the deal.

He even wrote a ransom note for Ken in the meantime requesting unmarked bills to his lawyer. Or else, Barbie gets it. Ken, I think you might want to take the deal.

28. Sometimes Pinker just pisses off the wrong people.

Queen Elsa is perhaps the last person he'd want to piss off right now. Because he's now a giant ice cube. Hope he likes dealing with hypothermia.

Queen Elsa is perhaps the last person he’d want to piss off right now. Because he’s now a giant ice cube. Hope he likes dealing with hypothermia.

29. Guess Rumple messed with the Caped Crusader for the last time.

Sure Batman doesn't like killing, Rumple. But you must've done something really bad for him to hang you into the toilet.

Sure Batman doesn’t like killing, Rumple. But you must’ve done something really bad for him to hang you into the toilet.

30. What the hell are Tingle and Chuckie doing to Frosty the Snowman?

No, don't put him through the grater? Anything but the grater? Poor, Frosty.

No, don’t put him through the grater? Anything but the grater? Poor, Frosty.

31. Finnegan always enjoys going online.

I think it's best that the Quincys no longer allow him access to their technology ever again. Seriously, he can no longer be trusted.

I think it’s best that the Quincys no longer allow him access to their technology ever again. Seriously, he can no longer be trusted.

32. “I have plans for you, Tinkerbell.”

No, Finney, please don't. Sure Tinkerbell is annoying, but that gives you no right to set her house on fire.

No, Finney, please don’t. Sure Tinkerbell is annoying, but that gives you no right to set her house on fire.

33. “Hello, witches, show me your tits!”

Guess whatever happens in Oz, stays in Oz. Or at least we hope. But it seems that Kingsley has made them an offer.

Guess whatever happens in Oz, stays in Oz. Or at least we hope. But it seems that Kingsley has made them an offer.

34. Did Nibbler just decapitate Barbie? Holy shit!

Oh, God, he did! And he's saying that the Mullins family are next. They better call the police.

Oh, God, he did! And he’s saying that the Mullins family are next. They better call the police.

35. Inkling always loves to camp out in the great indoors.

Did he just shoot Rudolph and hang him from sticks to drain the blood? Santa's going to be furious.

Did he just shoot Rudolph and hang him from sticks to drain the blood? Santa’s going to be furious.

36. Seems like Prattle partied with the GI Joes while the Farquars were gone.

And it seems the GI Joes had him drink a lot of beer in the meantime. Wait until Santa hears about this.

And it seems the GI Joes had him drink a lot of beer in the meantime. Wait until Santa hears about this.

37. “Okay, ladies, it’s now lights, camera, action!”

The Morrises knew that Linky was into making films. They didn't know the kind of movies he made. Yes, he's deep shit.

The Morrises knew that Linky was into making films. They didn’t know the kind of movies he made. Yes, he’s deep shit.

38. Guess the chalupa was too much for Vinny.

Okay, that's really disgusting. But I'm sure it can be easily flushed away. Yeah, he's got diarrhea real bad.

Okay, that’s really disgusting. But I’m sure it can be easily flushed away. Yeah, he’s got diarrhea real bad.

39. What does Frinkleflam have here?

Jesus, did he ever learn from Elf on the Shelf school that the parents' toys are strictly off limits? Seriously, he wouldn't want to be caught dead with a dildo.

Jesus, did he ever learn from Elf on the Shelf school that the parents’ toys are strictly off limits? Seriously, he wouldn’t want to be caught dead with a dildo.

40. For a good time, call Buddy.

I hope it's not for what I think it is. Though I'm probably right.

I hope it’s not for what I think it is. Though I’m probably right as far as I know.

41. Poor, Peeta, he didn’t even stand a chance.

Yes, what elves like Flicker are capable of doing is quite chilling during the Hunger Games. Peeta never stood a chance.

Yes, what elves like Flicker are capable of doing is quite chilling during the Hunger Games. Peeta never stood a chance.

42. Zippy wishes the Bayrocks to sleep tight.

But saying while being near the knives? I really don't like how this will go down.

But saying while being near the knives? I really don’t like how this will go down.

43. That’s nice. Jax invited Rudolph for dinner.

Yet, from how I look at it, Jax wants Rudolph to be the main course. Poor Rudolph.

Yet, from how I look at it, Jax wants Rudolph to be the main course. Poor Rudolph.

44. Unfortunately, Snowballs got ensnared by the Abominable Snowman.

And it seems like this yeti likes to have his meat on the skillet. Not sure if he wants it rare, medium, or well done.

And it seems like this yeti likes to have his meat on the skillet. Not sure if he wants it rare, medium, or well done.

45. Looks like Pinsey doesn’t feel so good.

From what I could tell, he at least had 3 beers. Yeah, that's what a night drinking can do to you.

From what I could tell, he at least had 3 beers. Yeah, that’s what a night drinking can do to you.

46. Seems like Boxy likes to make some money on the side.

Look, Boxy, I understand if Santa doesn't pay you enough. But even if pot's legal in Colorado, doesn't mean you should be selling it. It might look bad in your next performance review.

Look, Boxy, I understand if Santa doesn’t pay you enough. But even if pot’s legal in Colorado, doesn’t mean you should be selling it. It might look bad in your next performance review.

47. Marky, why the hell did you set the gingerbread house on fire?

Now everyone in there will be burnt to a crisp. Jesus, Marky, are you psycho or something?

Now everyone in there will be burnt to a crisp. Jesus, Marky, are you psycho or something?

48. You might not want to look behind the shower curtain.

Seems like Frinkle has a knife on him. And he's out to kill. Stay on your guard.

Seems like Frinkle has a knife on him. And he’s out to kill. Stay on your guard.

49. Nankie and Glinkle, please stop that!

Look, twerking is fine at the North Pole and all. But please, this is a family establishment here!

Look, twerking is fine at the North Pole and all. But please, this is a family establishment here!

50. Mindy and Button always enjoy each other’s company.

For the love of God, please don't try lighting farts this time of year. That could cause a major house fire!

For the love of God, please don’t try lighting farts this time of year. That could cause a major house fire!

51. Himey always likes to explore new places in the Tortini house.

I believe Mrs. Tortini's underwear drawer is strictly off limits. Seriously, Himey, you dare not go in there!

I believe Mrs. Tortini’s underwear drawer is strictly off limits. Seriously, Himey, you dare not go in there!

52. Man, Grinsley is ripped!

Don't tell me he's a male stripper on the side. God, makes me wonder how much Santa pays them.

Don’t tell me he’s a male stripper on the side. God, makes me wonder how much Santa pays them.

53. Wilky, you’re not fooling me with your meth business.

You can wear the yellow suit and mustache all you want to. But you'll still go on the naughty list for this year.

You can wear the yellow suit and mustache all you want to. But you’ll still go on the naughty list for this year.

54. Trixie really takes to the cat for some reason.

No, Trixie, you can't cut the cat's head off. That's just sick and wrong on so many levels.

No, Trixie, you can’t cut the cat’s head off. That’s just sick and wrong on so many levels.

55. Seems like somebody made the cover of Wrapping Paper magazine.

Not sure what I think about the cookies and milk bit. But that's sure not a wholesome elf.

Not sure what I think about the cookies and milk bit. But that’s sure not a wholesome elf.

56. Blizter, let go of the cleaver!

For some reason, it won't end well with the family he's staying with. Chances are you'll regret being on his naughty list.

For some reason, it won’t end well with the family he’s staying with. Chances are you’ll regret being on his naughty list.

57. Winkles has a message for the Bobbsey kids.

Okay, Winkles, that's really not appropriate. Please keep your thoughts about Mrs. Bobbsey to yourself, thanks.

Okay, Winkles, that’s really not appropriate. Please keep your thoughts about Mrs. Bobbsey to yourself, thanks.

58. Moxie always had a mischievous side to her.

But this really goes way too far. For the love of God, please don't pull the lever and start a fire drill.

But this really goes way too far. For the love of God, please don’t pull the lever and start a fire drill.

59. Of course, Mitsy had to dress up as her favorite Star Wars character for the new movie.

Slave Leia, really? Hey, it's okay to like Princess Leia. But a more modest costume is best.

Slave Leia, really? Hey, it’s okay to like Princess Leia. But a more modest costume is best.

60. “I call this a lamb sandwich.”

Sorry, kids, but thanks to Bertie, lambkins is no more. I know it's a real shame.

Sorry, kids, but thanks to Bertie, lambkins is no more. I know it’s a real shame.

61. Before Christmas, Lingle means business.

Looks like he's dressed and ready for a crime spree. Okay, I think someone really needs to call the cops on him.

Looks like he’s dressed and ready for a crime spree. Okay, I think someone really needs to call the cops on him.

62. Mr. Jingles has something to say to the Heaths.

I think the Heaths are now shivering in dread at the moment. Yes, Mr. Jingles is dangerous.

I think the Heaths are now shivering in dread at the moment. Yes, Mr. Jingles is dangerous.

63. “Sorry, but all these Hostess mini muffins are mine!”

Guess Frankle's family is going to be incredibly pissed when they get home. Don't like the sound of that.

Guess Frankle’s family is going to be incredibly pissed when they get home. Don’t like the sound of that.

64. “Come on, Barbie, let’s get out of here.”

Did they just kill Ken? Together? Jesus Christ, Santa won't take this well from Glingle.

Did they just kill Ken? Together? Jesus Christ, Santa won’t take this well from Glingle.

65. Even Gollum thinks Quingle is a bit freaky.

Oh, God, please don't do anything to Gollum! All he wants his is precious the hobbitses stole from him.

Oh, God, please don’t do anything to Gollum! All he wants is his precious the hobbitses stole from him.

66. “Please, come and play with us.”

No, kids, you don't want to play with Ginger and Jenny. They want to kill you.

No, kids, you don’t want to play with Ginger and Jenny. They want to kill you.

67. Seems like Grangy really needs help after what happened last night.

He should hope that this sink doesn't have a garbage disposal. Because he won't last long if it's turned on.

He should hope that this sink doesn’t have a garbage disposal. Because he won’t last long if it’s turned on.

68. “Guess all bets are off, ladies.”

Man, seems like they really get into playing strip poker at that house. Wait a minute?

Man, seems like they really get into playing strip poker at that house. Wait a minute?

69. Guess Frazzle really makes himself at home with these teen boy dolls.

Are they drinking beer and smoking pot? Hope marijuana's legal wherever he is or he's busted.

Are they drinking beer and smoking pot? Hope marijuana’s legal wherever he is or he’s busted.

70. “Sorry, Woody, but a deal’s a deal.”

Did Stinker just behead Woody like that? Jesus, God Almighty. how could he?

Did Stinker just behead Woody like that? Jesus, God Almighty. how could he?

71. I think Frizzle really needs to find some better avenues for his imagination.

He seems to like Fifty Shades of Grey a bit too much. And now he's experimenting BDSM on Barbies.

He seems to like Fifty Shades of Grey a bit too much. And now he’s experimenting BDSM on Barbies.

72. Derry always likes to know what’s going on with the neighbors.

Let's hope he's just birdwatching or stargazing shall we? Because I really don't want to think he's spying on the neighbors as a peeping tom.

Let’s hope he’s just birdwatching or stargazing shall we? Because I really don’t want to think he’s spying on the neighbors as a peeping tom.

73. “Abominable Snowman, why did you have to mess with the time machine?”

Now it seems that Glinko and his friends are about to become a prehistoric banquet. Yeah, it doesn't look good.

Now it seems that Glinko and his friends are about to become a prehistoric banquet. Yeah, it doesn’t look good.

74. Waddly has a confession to make.

It seems that Waddly more than likely killed someone he thought deserved it. Sorry, but vigilantism is a crime for a reason.

It seems that Waddly more than likely killed someone he thought deserved it. Sorry, but vigilantism is a crime for a reason.

75. Bricker always likes to go for a ride.

However, from how I see it, he looks as if he's trying to break into one. Someone call the cops.

However, from how I see it, he looks as if he’s trying to break into one. Someone call the cops.

76. Penny always likes to check out the home copy machine.

And it seems like she's copying an image of her own ass. Now that's just real immature.

And it seems like she’s copying an image of her own ass. Now that’s just real immature.

77. Crinker really needs to cut down on the Reddi Whip.

And the small metal bottles, too. Seriously, Crinker needs help. Does the North Pole have any 12 step programs?

And the small metal bottles, too. Seriously, Crinker needs help. Does the North Pole have any 12 step programs?

78. Ringer, please, don’t disturb the baby.

And he seems to put a screwdriver in the baby's bassinet. Nothing good can come of this.

And he seems to put a screwdriver in the baby’s bassinet. Nothing good can come of this.

79. Querty, what did that North Pole seminar tell you about sexual harassment?

Please don't hang on the mother's tits. I don't care how you might find her attractive. That's just wrong.

Please don’t hang on the mother’s tits. I don’t care how you might find her attractive. That’s just wrong.

80. Minkler, you know very well not to have sexual relations in a stocking.

However, Minkler doesn't really seem to give a shit, does he? Guess he'll have to face a disciplinary hearing when he gets back to the North Pole.

However, Minkler doesn’t really seem to give a shit, does he? Guess he’ll have to face a disciplinary hearing when he gets back to the North Pole.