I don’t know about you. But these pigs should know that this is a wolf in Santa clothing. He wants to eat them. But do they really have a clue? I don’t know.

Oh, please God, please let it be just a toy. But from the look on that girl’s face, it seems that bear might be real and it might maul those other two kids. And she’s taking delight in the possibility.

Really, kids? Stealing toys from Santa? Then again, the look on their faces might imply that they intend to do worse things. to St. Nick. The big guy better get up and run for it.

Okay, what does “sausage a card” mean exactly? Then again, I’m not sure I want to know. Really, it might mean something dirty.

Man, you think Santa’s a jolly old grandpa. But this one he seems like a child’s worst nightmare. Yeah, Santa’s not real nice when it comes to doling out corporal punishment on minors.

Now here’s Papa snowman about to carve a turkey. Now making one requires putting it in the oven at a high temperature. Which begs the question, how was this possible for Mama snowman to pull that off? Also, what’s with the snow cat and the snow bird?

Because since he’s now surrounded by candle’s he’s basically trapped. One step out and he’s a puddle for sure.

Now this is just so fucked up. This guy’s basically living a nightmare. I mean the turkeys, gingerbread man, and ham have basically kidnapped him, put him on a spit, and are now going to cook him rotisserie style.

Yes, that’s a German soldier in the background and it seems like it’s from WWII. But those kids singing carols seem so menacing to me for some reason. Wonder if they’re dreaming of a white Christmas, but with them as the master race

For some reason, it appears this kid is having a nightmare on how the toys might be ganging up on him. That Jack-in-the-Box with the flaming hair is especially terrifying to me. And he seems to be rising from a grave.

This would make a great one for Tiger Woods since he’s a professional golfer. But I’d change the saying to, “May your balls be kept in your pants!”

Now this is quite freaky. Seems like this pig is walking upright with human hands and is wearing clothes. She’s also using binoculars and carrying a book. Wonder how, oh, I don’t want to know.

Is it just me, or did our ancestors view Santa as a much darker figure than we do today? I mean he’s about to beat a kid who’s tied to a tree. How can you get more messed up than that?

Seriously, those Kewpie dolls are absolutely creepy. I wouldn’t want one anywhere near my house, let alone on a Christmas tree. Also, that girl’s like, “I’ll hug em’ and squeeze em’ and keep em’ for ever and ever.” Gah.

On second thought, that dance looks like a creepy cult ritual than anything. Doesn’t help that the pine cones have creepy looking faces with gray hair and bears. And the sugar plum looks demonically possessed. This looks like something from nightmares.

I don’t know what that monkey is doing with that dog near the chandelier. But it doesn’t look good. That one monkey and dog on the couch seem to have a lively conversation, on the other hand.

Upright dogs playing bagpipes in plaid. Now I haven’t seen that before. Makes me wonder whether this designer was on too much whiskey or hashish.

Now the siblings in this look rather terrifying to say the least. But my attention is with the dog leading the other dog on the leash. Seriously, what does that mean? And how does that happen? Because that looks so fucked up.

Yes, this is a Victorian card and that boy in the coat is obviously an entitled brat. But that’s not going to help the poor boy’s case, especially when it comes to an umbrella.

For the love of God, I have no idea what’s up with the Germans. It seems to them, that Santa Claus is a shadowing figure bringing toys for the good children while murdering the bad ones in their sleep.

On second thought, that polar bear is looking at the young walrus like it’s a nice chunk of meat for Christmas dinner. The walrus better get out and dodge before the polar bear plans to pounce on him.

Unfortunately, you can’t say the same about this dead bird. Now I wonder why anyone would think it’s a good idea to stick a dead bird on a Christmas card. Is it meant to be ironic to Victorians with a sick sense of humor? Because it totally kills the joyful mood.

As you can guess, this is a Soviet Era Christmas card during the Space Race. Because American Santa would be racing with a sleigh of reindeer. But this is just a crazy card nonetheless.

Because this year, Santa’s sleigh team went on strike and wrecked his sleigh. So now he’s stuck with this. So be extra good for Christmas this year, kids. Because Santa’s really grumpy.

Wonder what these pigs are betting on. Are they gambling to determine which one goes in the oven? Or are they just playing for kicks? Hard to say.

Despite the card saying, “Loving Christmas wishes,” it seems that Santa Claus has resorted to child abduction. No word on what the boy’s parents have to say about his sudden Christmas Eve disappearance.

Yeah, if I were that kid, I’d be scared shitless, too. Not sure if I’d cling to my bed at the sight of them. Then again, this child will probably not get up the next morning with clean underwear.

Now this is freaky on so many levels. Even freakier is the fly playing the tambourine. Now frogs eat insects, right? I think so. Still, this card had to be made on drugs, which is the only sensible explanation.

Yes, those kids look terrifying. But this card implies that Santa is kidnapping children for God’s sake! Seriously, that’s pretty insane if you think about it. And terrifying to say the least.

Seems like Bigfoot and the yeti are in a fight to the death this winter. And it seems the squatch is digging his claws into the Abominable Snowman. But who will win remains to be seen.

Uh, guys, I hate to break it to you. But I don’t think Dave is coming back after falling in the frozen lake like that. Well, unless someone pulls his feet and tries to save his ass. Which is what none of you are doing.

Something tells me that these children have been very bad this year and don’t like how Santa didn’t visit their homes. So they came in retaliation to steal his sack of toys.

Now this looks pretty messed up to say the least. Is he trying to punish this woman? Or is that just the way he likes to make love? Also, what’s with the golden handcuffs?

Now that’s just scary beyond all reason. Yeah, I wonder what the Krampus did to that kid. Then again, maybe I don’t want to know.

Okay, so that’s what they mean. For some reason, the ladies don’t seem to mind so much. But from St. Nick’s face, he doesn’t seem to have good feeling about this.

Adelaide, no, don’t do it. Please for the love of God, don’t do it. Sure he may be a lonely Krampus, but it’s not like Beauty and the Beast. I swear it’s not.

Yes, kids, it might be fun and games to frolic around the Krampus. But it’s over when he goes after and kidnaps you. Seriously, it’s not fun at all.

Uh, do these birds look like berry eaters to you, kindly robin? Because the beaks sure don’t look like it. Still, this is kind of freaky if you think about it.

Seems like Paw Paws got to the mouse first. But the other cats aren’t happy with it. Yeah, this dinner is really not going to end well. I’d be most scared of the one in the dress.

Yeah, this clown is incredibly terrifying enough to murder you in your sleep. Still, he should know better than to mess with a cop, even if it’s a British bobby. This won’t end well for the clown.

Now this is just weird. Would’ve made more sense if it was the Beatles playing cricket. Still, how in the hell does this have to do with Christmas? And why does it exist?

From Life in the Land of the Ice and Snow: “Don’t shake his hand, Little Girl! Don’t do it! There’s something off about this guy. I saw him on the subway last week. Stay away!” Yeah, why the hell would think this image was a good idea. Seems like the guy is about to whisk the kid away in his windowless carriage.

Now seeing Santa watching a girl sleep is pretty creepy. Still, whatever his thoughts are, they can’t be good. Not sure about hanging dolls on the tree either.

I don’t know about you but Santa seems to have a sinister look in his face. And I think it’s freaking out one of the kids if you ask me. Yeah, they might want to stay away from the window.

From loaded hips: “I don’t think there’s enough going on here. I think we better add a floating pretzel and donut. That’ll really drive it on home.” Still, the Santa watching the girl doesn’t seem right as far as I’m concerned.

Uh, Santa, I think you’ve had enough to drink. Seriously, you need to stop. This is how you ram your sleigh into little old ladies. Just so you know.

Of course, Frosty is trying to get the nerve to tell her that this relationship isn’t meant to last. Because come spring time, he’s destined to be nothing but a puddle of water with his attributes.

Yeah, nothing says Christmas like fighting over a candy or possible explosive. Of course, both seem to be quite terrifying and nightmare inducing if you ask me. But that’s beside the point.

Actually it kind of looks like the beetle wants to eat the gnome for Christmas dinner. Yeah, he’s not going to last long it seems.

They card says, “May All Jollity Lighten Your Christmas Hours.” However, that doesn’t explain why all these birds look so militant. As if they were about to group into a mob to kill a neighborhood cat. Oh, that explains it.