Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home. Ever since humans traded their nomadic lifestyle for a sedentary life of agriculture and civilization, people have always built houses ranging from the straw hut to the McMansion. Today houses come in all shape, sizes, and types all providing us shelter from the elements outside like increment weather. You can tell a lot about a person from their houses such as wealth and perhaps occupation and personal taste. Now I could talk all day about all the beautiful houses there are but you wouldn’t find this post remotely interesting. Instead, I’ll talk about the types of houses you’d see from the road and make you wonder how such a place exist or who would ever want to live there. However, before I go further, let me go over what this ugly house post doesn’t include:
1. Houses that are messy and decrepit as if abandoned and suffering from poor upkeep.
2. Houses built for low income residents and in bad neighborhoods.
3. Unfinished houses that were either under construction or being torn down.
4. Any house that has been boarded up and seems condemned.
5. Any house that’s been through some kind of disaster.
Of course, some of these houses shown may be due to how its architectural style may make them eyesores on the landscape. Other houses may seem outrageous looking due to the paint job and color. Sometimes it’s a little of both. There may be some that have no character and others that may seem to have too much. So without further adieu, here are some horrendous looking houses you may embarrassed to invite your friends for dinner in, if you ever lived there (save possibly Belgium).
1. Behold, where modern design meets the lack of utilitarian imagination.
While this design may be more appropriate for an office building, it hardly seems suitable for a residential neighborhood.
2. One can do wrong with a house of gray blocks.
Now I don’t know about you but this doesn’t seem exactly homey to me. Reminds me a place I’d rather go home from like the law office of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.
3. What do you mean houses don’t have faces?
Yes, those windows appear as if the house is alive and has a rather expressionless face. Also, I don’t think it seems too keen about the white railing on the porches.
4. Of course, coming home to this house will sure give you stars.
This little house would actually be perfectly quaint if it weren’t for its tacky exterior. Yeah, that cover is bound to cause migraines.
5. She wanted a standard 2 story house. He wanted something more futuristic looking. Eventually they settled for this.
This looks as if the builder basically took an old house, split it in two, and built the white block and balcony section to connect the two. Now I’d be pretty embarrassed to live at this place.
6. I call this one, “The Green Tea Tulip House,” since it’s green and has a second story shaped like a tulip.
The tulip design is a perfectly fine architectural style for such a house. The green tea color on the other hand, is just utterly disgusting.
7. Now nothing makes a winter cabin brighter than Rainbow Brite.
Sure it may look a bit decrepit and abandoned. But I’m sure the next Cabin in the Woods film isn’t going to be set at this place. That is, unless who’s killing everyone there is a big fan of Lisa Frank.
8. Wait a minute, this house ain’t halfway done?
Let’s just say whoever built this house only got it half finished before realizing that they couldn’t build on as much property as they thought. So they built a large brick wall on the cross section.
9. Behold, the house of the future!
This house is as over 40 years old because it was used in Woody Allen’s 1973 comedy Sleeper. Now I wonder how anyone living at this place can go to the bathroom?
10. Now this house seems to resemble any little girl’s dream.
Of course, the family thought they did a good job on their daughter’s room that they decided to do the whole house like this. Then again, this would be a perfect facade for a Barbie Dream House.
11. For those going for a more curvy feel, here’s a house for you.
Let’s just say, someone might’ve thought curvy features is a good idea. Alas, it just seems that this architect was way too much into The Lord of the Rings.
12. Apparently, Bobby wanted the kind of house where he could practice his rock climbing.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure that orange, lime, green, and light yellow is a good exterior color scheme. And the fact that this house is in a more modern style makes it even uglier.
13. In the future, we’ll all live in these affordable modular homes like these.
Let’s hope the future never comes to this. Besides, I don’t want to live in a home that reminds me of where Luke Skywalker grew up on Tatooine.
14. Nothing like the kind of home than one designed to freak out the neighbors.
Now this house seems as if it’s spying on the neighbors. Let’s hope that there’s no telescope behind either of the giant circular windows.
15. Well, as long that feature’s in the colonial style, I don’t see how it won’t do any harm.
Now I don’t think the front door style goes well with the rest of the house. In fact, I think it just makes an otherwise decent looking house seem fairly hideous.
16. Now I’m sure nobody could have too many dormer windows.
Actually, while I think two would’ve been fine, four is just way too many for this house. In fact, maybe this house shouldn’t have any dormers at all.
17. Brenda decided to have her house painted her two favorite colors: lime green and bright yellow.
Now there’s a sight for sore eyes. Actually it’s more of a sight that will make your eyes sore. Let’s say that lime green and bright yellow aren’t a good color scheme for a house.
18. Now here’s a great modern design for your liking.
Looks like the kind of house I’d imagine Lex Luthor having as a summer home. Seriously, it’s more or less “eek” than “chic” to me.
19. Of course, you can barely go wrong with a free standing chimney.
Maybe, but I see no reason why this house would look any better with a Pizza Hut like roof at the front. Seriously, this home just looks too silly form me.
20. I’m sure that trim on the garage enclosure goes well with the rest of the house.
Now I don’t think the trim on the garage area was a good idea because it doesn’t go well with the house at all. Yet, I do like the brick work though.
21. When it comes to roofs, you can’t have too many gables.
This is a place in New Jersey called, “The Bird Turd House of the Seventy Gables.” It was said to be inspired by the German Coo-Coo Clock. Yet, you can see why people liken it to bird turds.
22. Of course, perhaps you’d prefer to live under a pyramid with glass windows.
Now this is a house in Belgium which has a reputation for terrible house architecture. Still, I’m sure I wouldn’t want to live in a house like this.
23. Sure, I think we can create more stories for that black row house.
If there has been any architect who ever gave the finger, then this is possibly in the most spectacular way possible.
24. Of course, we can build a home that expresses both business and party at the same time.
Unfortunately, this house seems to have a lot of windows (which makes me question about their bathroom and privacy). Not only that, but it sort of resembles one of those ultramodern doctors’ offices for some reason.
25. Now how about you paint your house in a shade of pink?
Now I’m not sure about pink houses in general. Yet, I’m not sure if this pink would be perfect for Malibu Barbie, let alone anyone else.
26. Now here’s a house that would really jump out to you, in an asymmetrical way.
Then again, it could use another window on the second story. On the other hand, I’m not sure how you can improve this house’s look.
27. Now let’s step inside this lovely mansion.
Okay, that might be Albus Dumbledore’s summer vacation cottage. You know, the Sherbert Lemon Wizard Ranch.
28. Okay, so let’s flip this house.
Hey, when I said, “flip this house,” I didn’t mean in this fashion. Oh, God, I’m surrounded by idiots.
29. Hello, and welcome to Hayvenhurst.
I’m sure that it would look much better if the front way didn’t have to be as high as the other parts of the house. But these owners really wanted to make a grand entrance.
30. This house tends to go for the black and white stripes variety.
Looks almost as if someone made a house out of part of an army surplus store and tried to pass it as if it was made out of Legos. Nice try. Seems like the perfect vacation home for Beetlejuice, if you include the ugly yellow porch.
31. I don’t care how well it goes with the house. I want a castle tower.
Now maybe you shouldn’t get castle tower unless you live in an actual castle. It just looks so out of place.
32. Now I give you the most expensive house in the world.
How in the hell would anyone want to buy such an expensive piece of shit? If you want to build a home that costs about $2 billion, at least make it look nice.
33. Now here is a palm desert mansion any celebrity would buy.
Now I can’t tell the difference between this house and large pile of scrap metal. How would anyone want to entertain at this seeming pile of junk?
34. I call this an owl house.
Just don’t ask it how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Still, kind of freaky looking if you ask me.
35. Now I’m sure a big block of brick at the front upstairs window won’t hinder its looks.
Now this is just such an hideous block placement that I’m not sure ivy can cure. Still, I think it would look better if the brick block in the upstairs window would be removed.
36. What can go wrong with painting your house purple?
Now I really like purple. In fact, it’s my favorite color. But I don’t know what to think about Dracula’s taste in exterior decorating.
37. How about a house colored with the rainbow?
Alright, this resident is on something. And by that, I mean like LSD, marijuana, PCP, brown acid, and other hallucinogen that’s known to make you see God or bring world peace.
38. How about make your home inside this pyramid?
Now I don’t know about you but I can’t help but think that the person who lives there is part of some big shadow organization like the Illuminati perhaps. Then again, there’s the Freemasons since this pyramid looks like the one on a US dollar bill, according to the National Treasure franchise.
39. Now I’ve never seen a triangle frame house quite like this one.
Now if this house was possessed, at least I know that the monster is basically in this place. Actually, the house may be the monster as you see by the window eyes and face.
40. Now there is a house with a lot of funky color in it.
Unfortunately, the house painter might’ve had too much brown acid at Woodstock. I’m sure this is a certain eye sore for neighbors and may send some into seizures.
41. This house just needs a friend to keep it warm near the red telephone booth.
Don’t look now but I think this house wants to eat us. Seriously, I don’t like the look in its face which is creeping me out. Keep away.
42. I suppose this home would suit any Lord of the Rings fan.
Well, any LOTR fan who’s on a budget and thought Rivendell looked too fancy and not enough like some kind of creepy mad scientist’s lair.
43. Now this house must be very angry with its owners right now.
Of course, this is why the owners haven’t realized that this house isn’t too fond of them. This explains why their home has so many problems all the time.
44. I’m sure houses have feelings, too, you know. Sometimes they’re not as apparent.
This house doesn’t seem to be too happy here. Maybe it’s because they’re not paying attention that it has dry rot or something. Still, the brick work is pretty nice on this one.
45. Of course, you’d always need a tower to cover up the front door and for a possible room upstairs.
I don’t know about you but there’s something quite phallic about this house. I just can’t put my finger on it. Still, it would look better if it didn’t have that brick tower. Also seems to have a creepy face, which makes this house even freakier. Still, why are there so many ugly houses in Belgium?
46. Of course, some houses are fairly accommodating.
For some reason, I wouldn’t be able to look at this house and wonder whether I was being watched. There’s just something unsettling about it if you know what I mean.
47. Remember, kids, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Kind of reminds me of what Batman’s greenhouse may look like if he ever got into gardening. Also seems to have a monstrous face.
48. House by day. Transformer by night.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if this would be the kind of house Batman would live in, if he wasn’t born into a rich family. Yet, I don’t know what the Batmobile would look like.
49. Welcome to Saint Peter’s Catholic Church and Car Repair.
Basically the only place where you can receive the sacrament of Reconciliation and a wax job. And yes, it’s in Belgium.
50. Now let’s get this house to stand right back up again.
Oh, wait. My mistake. Looks like it was how this house was built, and not as though it had been through a hurricane. Sorry.
51. Murg seemed to like earth so much that he ended up settling down and turning his spaceship into a home.
Of course, he thought his spaceship was so large and spacious than most houses that he didn’t bother with going through renovations. At least on the outside, that is.
52. Now how about some dark woodwork with that painted wooden siding?
While I was in marching band in high school, we played against a school that had brown and yellow as a school color. And let me say, these two colors don’t go well together at all, except maybe in the toilet.
53. Nothing makes a house a home like unconventional window placement.
However, there is such a thing as being too much unconventional that it makes the house seem like a residence for a Dr. Seuss character.
54. Welcome to our elevated trailer park apartments.
I think someone made a gingerbread display of this that I posted for gingerbread architecture. Still, I don’t think trailers tend to bring down property values in a lot of ways. At least in America.
55. In the future, everyone will live in these large concrete spheres that seem to appear from some futuristic Soviet era.
Please, don’t make me live here. The prospect of residing in these mammoth balls of concrete seems like depressing prospect to me. Also, they tend to resemble giant aliens from outer space or something. And they don’t seem too happy.
56. Nothing says home, like a curvy brown home suitable for the CEO of UPS.
If it wasn’t for the windows, I would’ve mistaken this house for a colossal turd from some extremely large mythical creature. Seriously, this is one of the ugliest houses in modern architecture I’ve ever seen.
57. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the IKEA trailer.
Now I may equate trailers with hillbillys and country music. But let me say, that even the worst looking trailers I’ve seen have never been as ugly as this one. Let’s just say I don’t equate trailers with high concept design and there’s a reason for it.
58. Of course, you can never go overboard with fancy decorations on a house.
Actually, I take that back you can, especially if the house is brown. Still, looks like a kind of house I’d expect Willy Wonka to own. I mean he has to have some space to escape from all those Oompa Loompas singing.
59. Now here’s a nice little tower house for fans of Jurassic Park.
Then again, I think a dinosaur quashing it might improve its looks. I mean it just seems more like a house I’d see aliens living in who miss the architecture from their planets.
60. Apparently this house was built by an architect inspired by the soaring bald eagle’s rear end.
Let’s just say this marvel in modern architecture just seems to be the architect’s expression of basically saying, “Up yours!” to his or her clients. Yet, the stupid clients weren’t smart enough to figure that out.
61. Looks like the parents loved how they did the kids’ room so much that they wanted the whole house painted like this.
Now I wouldn’t be surprised if this house was in Sweden and the head of IKEA lived there. And I wouldn’t even be at all surprised if that person had to build the house from a set of pictoral instructions.
62. Nothing brings out the nice Florida atmosphere than a house painted lime green.
Remember, kids, friends don’t let friends paint their houses in lime green even in Florida. That goes the same way with most of the houses painted in the outfit colors of Florida residents over 65, especially in Boca Raton.
63. Perhaps you were seeking a house in a more naturalistic architectural style.
Now this house seems to resemble a gigantic tree monster who’d basically devour you if you ever try to cut down any of its sacred trees. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to live there.
64. Wow! What a colorful row of row houses.
Now this really seems like a tacky day in this neighborhood. This is why row houses should always be built in the same style. Else, I’m sure some neighborhood onlooker is going to break out in seizures.
65. Hey, kids, there’s the home of Sam I Am from Green Eggs and Ham no less.
Well, it looks like one of those houses you’d find in a Dr. Seuss book. I’m sure Dr. Seuss would be surprised that his work might’ve inspired a whole architectural movement.
66. I’m sure blue and orange is a great color scheme for any house.
Man, someone must be a huge fan of the Syracuse Orange that they don’t even bother considering how tacky their house looks. I get migraines just looking at that place.
67. I’m sure building a home based on your daughter’s dollhouse seemed like a very good idea at the time.
Now just because the facade would go great on a dollhouse, doesn’t mean it will translate well in real life. Besides, I’m sure the dollhouse that served as an inspiration was made by Fisher Price.
68. I’m sure this warehouse will provide well for your storage needs.
Wait a minute, this is an actual house? Then why does it look like the kind of place Walter White would store his meth stash? And why does it seem to lack total character?
69. Now I’m sure green and red would make your house appear rather festive during the holiday season.
Maybe this house would look perfectly fine during the Christmas season. But other times of the year? Not so much. Also, is that lime green?
70. This mansion design was brought to you by Lincoln Logs.
Now I’m sure this is the place where Bruce Wayne trained with Raz al’ Ghul in the Dark Knight Saga. Then again, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Batman Begins anyway.
71. Now I’m sure this yellow house will strike your fancy.
I’m sure this house was based off that Veggie Tales episode on the Alamo. You know, the one with Davy Broccoli, Jim Beet and General Santa Artichoke.
72. Now let’s put a sun light near the angle so we can save money non energy.
I suppose this place was the starting home of Lex Luthor. I hear his ex-wife lives in that place to this day and that they’re not on very good terms.
73. There were so many great colors we couldn’t decide. So we went with all of them.
Looks like the paint fumes really seem to get to the painters in this case. You know how inhaling paint could make you see certain things.
74. Now this house just makes me see spots just looking at it. Great big colorful ones.
Now this polka dot house may get the neighbors asking the owner, “Are you high?” Also, I’m sure that they don’t go well on a house at all.
75. Now I just need a big garage to park my car and a nice circular window to spy on the neighbors.
Let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to live in a neighborhood with a house like this. Besides, I don’t think the small warehouse garage and the awning like front part go well with the rest of the house either.