How Donald Trump Tried to Evict Rent-Controlled Tenants

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This is 100 Central Park South, which Donald Trump bought in 1981. During the 1980s, he had plans to demolish it for a tower of luxury condos. Unfortunately for him,, a group of rent controlled tenants lived there.

Donald Trump may be elected president thanks to receiving about 60 million votes, the Electoral College, and help from the Russians back in 2016. But in his hometown in New York City, he is almost universally loathed. The city may be a haven for liberals and elites but remember it’s the same place who elected Rudy Giuliani and Michael Bloomberg. Yet, Trump has been disliked in NYC for decades that Sesame Street parodied him as a sleazy villain since the late 1980s. Since he and his dad were indicted by the Justice for housing discrimination in the 1970s, the people of New York City have witnessed Trump concoct his dastardly and often at their expense. Over the years, Trump has preyed on them with false promises, exploited them, scammed them, and abused them for his own enrichment. He’s even inflamed racial tensions for his own benefit like his page long ad calling for the executions of the Central Park Five. At best, New Yorkers see him as a sleazy con artist who’s not to be trusted. At worst, they see him as a nightmare. If the people of New York City despise Trump, it’s not because the politics. It’s because they know exactly who he is and why he should’ve never become president.

At 35 years old, Donald Trump was the epitome of American business bravado. He had cut multi-million land deals, saved a blighted midtown Manhattan subway hub by overhauling a building near Grand Central Station that would become the Grand Hyatt New York, and was in the process of erecting the black-framed glass behemoth, the 68-story Trump Tower. After he destroyed the old Bonwit Teller Building including the Art Deco sculptures he promised not to. And with the labor of undocumented Polish workers who were paid less than $5 an hour and lived in squalid conditions.

In 1981, Donald Trump bought the Barbizon Plaza Hotel and a neighboring 14-story apartment building on prime real estate facing New York City’s Central Park. Addressed at 100 Central Park South he paid $13 million for, he had plans to tear down the buildings and replace them with luxury condos. It would be an audacious project and on one of New York City’s most desirable blocks. Two months later, he applied for a demolition permit to blow it up.

But there was one problem. In 60 of 100 Central Park South’s 80 apartments, rent-stabilized tenants already lived Central Park South building. Donald Trump describes renters as privileged, rich “yuppies” who unfairly benefitted from rent-control, claiming the rent he collected barely covered expenses. That’s why he installed cheaper lightbulbs to cut back. As he claimed, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the rich, it’s that they have a very low threshold for even the mildest discomfort.” To be fair, a low rent home a short walk away from Broadway theaters and Carnegie Hall is a pretty sweet deal. Dentist Dr. Michael Richman paid $700 a month for his apartment. Fashion designer Arnold Scaasi paid $985 for his mind-blowing, 6-bedroom with killer views of Central Park. B-movie actress and original Rockette Suzanne Blackmer paid $203.59 month for her 2-bedroom unit which wasn’t her primary residence. A 3-room apartment in the building overlooking the part could be as low as $436 a month. In New York City this was the stuff of legend.

In reality, while rich people did inhabit a share of these apartments, most of the tenants were either working people or middle class retirees living on fixed incomes and Social Security who’ve resided there for over 20 years. None epitomizes this like B-movie Suzanne Blackmer who’d many would think was living quite extravagantly. But that wasn’t the case for she was only living on $10,000 a year from Social Security, occasional acting gigs, and a pension from the Screen Actors Guild she earned by appearing in
over 60 films. Sure she may have had multiple residences, but she kept that apartment as a place to stay for her job.

Donald Trump often demonized the tenants as freeloading millionaires as a way to justify his harassment against the tenants at 100 Central Park South. It didn’t matter who they were. It was about getting the New York City public on his side. After all, New Yorkers would hate rich people getting very good deals on prime real estate given how expensive the city rents are. And it helped that a noted fashion designer, an architect, and a B-movie actress had units there for cheap rents. As Trump stated in The Art of the Deal, “Rent control is a disaster for all but the privileged minority who are protected by it. As much as any other single factor, rent control is responsible for the desperate housing crisis that has plagued NYC for the past 20 years.” Ironically, we should keep in mind that Trump has amassed his fortune thanks in large part to government handouts.
So in order to get his luxury condos, Donald Trump wanted to get them out. After applying for the demolition permit, he fired the building manager and replaced him with Citadel Management. According to The Art of the Deal, Trump claimed he chose a company that “specialized in relocating tenants.” While most landlords commonly try buying tenants out, Trump and Citadel Management tried to get the job done for free. At first, Citadel hired agents to constantly call tenants constantly, asking to show them other properties and convincing them that they’d have to move regardless. Most tenants refused for obvious reasons.

In the meantime, they did the bare minimum one could legally get away with in terms of upkeep. These included things like removing light covers, not cleaning up the lobby, ignoring repairs and maintenance, barring doormen from carrying up packages, and putting up aluminum foil on windows facing Central Park to give the building a run down appearance. Garbage filled the hallways and elevators as rats began to swarm. And tenants weren’t even allowed to erect a Christmas tree in the lobby. According to their 1982 lawsuit, tenants claimed that Donald Trump had cut their hot water and heat during New York’s freezing winters and stopped all building repairs. One said he allowed “a rodent infestation of the premises.” Another stated he imposed burdensome new rules in an attempt to force them out. However, building superintendent Anthony Ramirez, swore in court that Trump’s building managers gave him explicit instructions. “They didn’t want any repairs done. No cleaning. No accepting of packages.” As a result of the lack of maintenance, fashion designer Arnold Scaasi’s luxurious apartment was plagued by water leaks. One imperiled his art collection that included a 1926 Picasso and works of art by Claud Monet. And he wasn’t the only one. A 10 month water leak in Apartment 14B got so nasty that 2 brothers who grew up there saw brown and white mushrooms sprouting from their bedroom carpet. One told CNN Money, “It felt like we were under attack. Trump did his best not to repair anything.” Yet, Donald Trump refused to do anything about it.

On one occasion, when Donald Trump’s new building manager reported a burglary, dentists with apartment offices were ordered to send patients to a garbage-filled service elevator. Dr. Michael Richman refused to comply, complaining in court documents that Trump “mounted a campaign of harassment.” He then added, “Mr. Trump is willing to resort to any device or tactic to drive out the tenants from the building.” Trump’s lawyers fought back, questioning whether the dentist’s office even qualified for rent control.

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This is what the eviction threat from Donald Trump looks like. And he sent this to an elderly couple, by the way.

On New Year’s Eve, several tenants received “lease violation” warning letters. The previous owners had permitted renters to knock down walls and renovate their apartment units at least 10 to 20 years prior. He reversed the exception and gave renters only 12 days to rebuild the walls or face eviction. Another time, Donald Trump sued tenant Andersen Clipper for not paying rent despite that he actually did. New York City Judge Jay Dankberg dismissed the case as “spurious and unnecessary,” as well as blasted Trump for trying to “harass” Clipper and forced the huckster to refund 5% of his rent. He then wrote, “To most landlords happiness is having tenants who pay the rent each month without prodding or litigation. However, [Trump] is apparently searching for double happiness.” According to his estranged wife Nancy who remembers the lawsuits and the refusal to fix things, “It was really a horrible experience.” She then described Trump as “insensitive, rude, and just a generally nasty man. I would never have considered him presidential.”

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This is real estate lawyer David Rozenholc who represented the tenants at 100 Central Park South. Due to his aggressive litigation nature, he’s kind of like a Michael Avenatti in the real estate world. Also, Donald Trump sued his firm in retaliation for $150 million on corruption charges.

The renters weren’t going anywhere. After all, most of them were senior citizens on rent-control and with no other place to go. In response, they hired a particularly aggressive real estate lawyer named David Rozenholc and sued Donald Trump and his company, Park South Associates. New York state judges stepped in to put Trump’s lease violation notices on hold on at least 2 occasions. Since Rozenholc took advantage of a legal flaw to block Trump’s application to begin construction. He also sued Trump for harassing his clients and having management instruct the superintendent to spy on them. In return, Trump sued Rozenholc’s firm in a federal suit for racketeering and sought $105 million in damages, which was later dismissed since it was stupid.

In 1982 and 1983, Donald Trump put out newspaper advertisements offering to shelter homeless people offering them a dozen or so free apartments with “beautiful views.” But seeing how Trump often does seemingly charitable things on selfish motives, tenants saw the move as a ruthless attempt to drive them out. Trump denied it, telling the New York Times, “Some people think I’m just doing a number on the people in the building. That’s not true. I just want to help with the homeless problem. It’ll take two or three years to get everybody out, and in the meantime I’ll have more and more vacant apartments for the indigent.” He even offered to pay for nurses and medical supplies to treat the homeless. But New York’s Human Resources deputy administrator Robert Trobe told the Times that Trump’s offer did “not seem appropriate.” In end the city declined, questioning the wisdom of moving homeless people into a building headed for demolition. Though not without a refugee charity suggesting he house Polish refugees which Trump balked at saying his offer was only for those “live in America now, not refugees.”

Alleged spying took place, too. According to superintendent Anthony Ramirez, Donald Trump’s building manager told him monitor, “the personal habits of the tenants” and “keep a list on the tenants’ activities.” While Ramirez defend Trump on maintenance issues, spying went too far. He told the manager, “Sir, I have too many things on my conscience at this late stage in life, and I don’t need anymore headaches. I’m here to do my job and to do repairs to the building.” Apparently, Trump wanted to spy on the tenants in an attempt to dig dirt on them to use as blackmail or get them evicted. Trump denied this in a sworn 1985 affidavit. First, he claimed he didn’t directly run building owner Park South Associates (despite that corporate documents show he owned 60% of the company and was the only listed officer). Second, he swore he kept the building in tip-top shape with a previous New York housing agency inspection to back it up, finding that “all public areas were clean.”

However, the same state agency, the New York’s Division of Homes and Community Renewal went after Donald Trump, too. They sued, charging him of harassing tenants after the tenants sent a barrage of complaints alleging harassment, “drastic decreases in essential services,” and “persistent delay in repairing defective conditions with life-threatening potential.” Several even went on a rent strike. The New York City filed a similar suit months later, mentioning daily harassment, “wrongful acts and
omissions”, bogus nonpayment notices, and utilities that were turned off, by Trump’s agents. The city lost the injunction in September 1985 with the state Supreme Court justice stating, The danger of irreparable harm to the tenants seems to be minimal now that the challenged activities of the defendants are under the scrutiny of the various departments of the City of New York.

Yet, there was a glimmer of peace in 1985. According to court documents, Donald Trump and the tenants’ association leader discussed a potential deal. The renters planned to team up and buy the building for $15 million to free themselves from their dreaded landlord. You’d think Trump would accept this deal and everyone would live happily ever after. But no. Instead, he used that opportunity to accuse the tenants shady behavior like using harassment lawsuits to cover their real motivations. As his attorneys claimed, tenants were “waging a ceaseless guerrilla-type war… to coerce a bargain sale of the building,” He then sued them for $150 million, escalating the legal battle. In a 1985 New York Times editorial, Sydney Schanberg called Trump a “slumlord.” Trump’s lawyers responded in an op-ed attacking Schanberg, Rozenholc, New York City, and called it a “political maneuver in a mayoral election year.”

By 1986, Trump had spent over $1 million fighting the tenants and only $160,000 on repairs. Thankfully, he finally settled with the tenants’ association that year. He then cut his attorneys a $550,000 check and agreed to let the housing agency monitor repairs for 5 years. The tenants could stay in their apartments paying their preexisting rents. As Tony Schwartz detailed in a 1985 New York Times article, “how a bunch of rent-controlled and rent-stabilized tenants in an old building… have managed to do what city agencies, courts, colleagues, competitors, and the National Football League have never been able to do: successfully stand in the way of something Donald Trump wants.” He described Trump as “fugue of failure, a farce of fumbling and bumbling.”

However, the harassment still didn’t stop. Donald Trump may have gave up demolition, but he decided to renovate and later convert the building into condos instead. Elderly couple Alvin and Catalina Meyer, the wife plagued with emphysema and dying of cancer. So it was a particularly rude awakening when Trump’s construction workers woke Catalina up at 7 a.m. by drilling holes in the ceiling above her bed. The construction crew also set up a workstation in the apartment next door. Mrs. Meyer complained about the dust in the air. According to court papers, she claimed, “I am a very sick woman battling for my life. I have begged for reasonableness. The landlord will not be reasonable.” After nearly a decade of nonstop fighting, tenants started turning on one another. Trump told them he couldn’t fix the building’s heating system because Mrs. Meyer didn’t give construction workers access to their apartment. Fellow tenants told Meyer to back down while her lawsuit fizzled out when her own attorney left her.

The fighting died down in the 1990s, only to pop up again in 2000 when 72-year-old Carmel Rheingold sued Donald Trump in a New York State court for overcharging her $40,000 in rent over 4 years. He paid that money back. In 1998, Trump struck a deal with the building’s remaining inhabitants allowing them to either buy their apartments at a markdown or keep renting without further pressure to leave.

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A 1988 Sesame Street episode when Oscar the Grouch signs on with Ronald Grump is said to be based on this 1980s tenant dispute.

In the end, no judge ever ruled that tenants were being harassed. After all, Donald Trump settled but he didn’t get his way. The building remains in place to this day. According to city records, Trump’s company owns 18 units and his son Eric has an apartment on the top floor. At least 2 renters actually bought their apartments. But most died or moved away. Nonetheless, as of 2016, there are still tenants who still pay rent-control rates. Meanwhile the 106 Central Park South next door offers a glimpse of what Trump would’ve built at 100 Central Park South if he had the chance: largely luxury developments sitting mostly vacant accruing value for their super wealthy owners.
Donald Trump’s dispute with the tenants of 100 Central Park South remains a defining moment that shows his character in the minds of many New Yorkers. As New York journalist and author of Trump: The Deals and the Downfall, Wayne Barrett told CNN Money, “This was a concrete choice he made, knowing he would disrupt the lives of many middle income, elderly people. He has absolutely no excuse.” In 1987, Suzanne Blackmer said of Trump, “He has such an ego. He wants to be Jesus. He wants to be Hitler. He wants to be the most powerful thing in the world.”

Looking back, you can see Trump waging a different sort of campaign but with many of the same tactics he deployed during the 2016 campaign and his presidency like the threats, theatrics, and penchant for hyperbole. David Rozenholc said of Trump in 2016, “He knows how to negotiate, he knows how to use leverage and he’s very perceptive about his opponent’s vulnerabilities. It didn’t work against me, but when you deal with Putin and Iran, these could be useful qualities.” In The Art of the Deal, Trump acknowledged that he deliberately tried driving out tenants, but claimed most of them were exploiting undeserved government subsidies. He recalled getting rid of free telephone in the building’s lobby which he claimed tenants were using, “to call their friends in Gstaad and St. Moritz.” Yet, tenant Madelyn Rubenstein and 2 other residents at the time could only remember a pay phone in the building. Nor has Trump admitted defeat as he told The New York Times, “It was a long battle, but it was a successful battle. As usual, I came out on top.” Some may think that Trump’s slumlord past has little to do with his presidency, but the episode reveals Trump’s character as a man who sees dollars and cents over people’s lives. While his callous attitude has made him a marketplace success drawing fans from all walks of life, he’s profoundly unsuited for a very humanistic job of holding the American people’s best interests.

But more importantly, Donald Trump’s clash with the 100 Central Park South tenants shows that he’s not invincible. And he can be stopped. The rent-controlled tenants at 100 Central Park South fought hard to keep their homes for years and won. They hired attorneys. They took their cause to the media. They went on rent strikes. They applied pressure to state institutions into taking action. In the end, Trump had give up his plans to demolish the building and settle with them. If we band together in solidarity and resist Trump’s monstrous presidency and his unpopular, repressive policies. We may not be able to remove him from office, but we don’t have to let him get his way. In the name of freedom and democracy, let us all unite as Americans and stop this unrespectable man. once and for all.

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Home Not So Sweet Home

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Be it ever so humble, there’s no place like home. Ever since humans traded their nomadic lifestyle for a sedentary life of agriculture and civilization, people have always built houses ranging from the straw hut to the McMansion. Today houses come in all shape, sizes, and types all providing us shelter from the elements outside like increment weather. You can tell a lot about a person from their houses such as wealth and perhaps occupation and personal taste. Now I could talk all day about all the beautiful houses there are but you wouldn’t find this post remotely interesting. Instead, I’ll talk about the types of houses you’d see from the road and make you wonder how such a place exist or who would ever want to live there. However, before I go further, let me go over what this ugly house post doesn’t include:

1. Houses that are messy and decrepit as if abandoned and suffering from poor upkeep.

2. Houses built for low income residents and in bad neighborhoods.

3. Unfinished houses that were either under construction or being torn down.

4. Any house that has been boarded up and seems condemned.

5. Any house that’s been through some kind of disaster.

Of course, some of these houses shown may be due to how its architectural style may make them eyesores on the landscape. Other houses may seem outrageous looking due to the paint job and color. Sometimes it’s a little of both. There may be some that have no character and others that may seem to have too much. So without further adieu, here are some horrendous looking houses you may embarrassed to invite your friends for dinner in, if you ever lived there (save possibly Belgium).

1. Behold, where modern design meets the lack of utilitarian imagination.

While this design may be more appropriate for an office building, it hardly seems suitable for a residential neighborhood.

While this design may be more appropriate for an office building, it hardly seems suitable for a residential neighborhood.

2. One can do wrong with a house of gray blocks.

Now I don't know about you but this doesn't seem exactly homey to me. Reminds me a place I'd rather go home from like the law office of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

Now I don’t know about you but this doesn’t seem exactly homey to me. Reminds me a place I’d rather go home from like the law office of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

3. What do you mean houses don’t have faces?

Yes, those windows appear as if the house is alive and has a rather expressionless face. Also, I don't think it seems too keen about the white railing on the porches.

Yes, those windows appear as if the house is alive and has a rather expressionless face. Also, I don’t think it seems too keen about the white railing on the porches.

4. Of course, coming home to this house will sure give you stars.

This little house would actually be perfectly quaint if it weren't for its tacky exterior. Yeah, that cover is bound to cause migraines.

This little house would actually be perfectly quaint if it weren’t for its tacky exterior. Yeah, that cover is bound to cause migraines.

5. She wanted a standard 2 story house. He wanted something more futuristic looking. Eventually they settled for this.

This looks as if the builder basically took an old house, split it in two, and built the white block and balcony section to connect the two. Now I'd be pretty embarrassed to live at this place.

This looks as if the builder basically took an old house, split it in two, and built the white block and balcony section to connect the two. Now I’d be pretty embarrassed to live at this place.

6. I call this one, “The Green Tea Tulip House,” since it’s green and has a second story shaped like a tulip.

The tulip design is a perfectly fine architectural style for such a house. The green tea color on the other hand, is just utterly disgusting.

The tulip design is a perfectly fine architectural style for such a house. The green tea color on the other hand, is just utterly disgusting.

7. Now nothing makes a winter cabin brighter than Rainbow Brite.

Sure it may look a bit decrepit and abandoned. But I'm sure the next Cabin in the Woods film isn't going to be set at this place. That is, unless who's killing everyone there is a big fan of Lisa Frank.

Sure it may look a bit decrepit and abandoned. But I’m sure the next Cabin in the Woods film isn’t going to be set at this place. That is, unless who’s killing everyone there is a big fan of Lisa Frank.

8. Wait a minute, this house ain’t halfway done?

Let's just say whoever built this house only got it half finished before realizing that he or she ran out money before they could go any further. Yet, they still had plenty of bricks.

Let’s just say whoever built this house only got it half finished before realizing that they couldn’t build on as much property as they thought. So they built a large brick wall on the cross section.

9. Behold, the house of the future!

This house is as over 40 years old because it was used in Woody Allen's 1973 comedy Sleeper. Now I wonder how anyone living at this place can go to the bathroom?

This house is as over 40 years old because it was used in Woody Allen’s 1973 comedy Sleeper. Now I wonder how anyone living at this place can go to the bathroom?

10. Now this house seems to resemble any little girl’s dream.

Of course, the family thought they did a good job on their daughter's room that they decided to do the whole house like this. Then again, this would be a perfect facade for a Barbie Dream House.

Of course, the family thought they did a good job on their daughter’s room that they decided to do the whole house like this. Then again, this would be a perfect facade for a Barbie Dream House.

11. For those going for a more curvy feel, here’s a house for you.

Let's just say, someone might've thought curvy features is a good idea. Alas, it just seems that this architect was way too much into The Lord of the Rings.

Let’s just say, someone might’ve thought curvy features is a good idea. Alas, it just seems that this architect was way too much into The Lord of the Rings.

12. Apparently, Bobby wanted the kind of house where he could practice his rock climbing.

I don't know about you, but I'm not sure that orange, lime, green, and light yellow is a good exterior color scheme. And the fact that this house is in a more modern style makes it even uglier.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not sure that orange, lime, green, and light yellow is a good exterior color scheme. And the fact that this house is in a more modern style makes it even uglier.

13. In the future, we’ll all live in these affordable modular homes like these.

Let's hope the future never comes to this. Besides, I don't want to live in a home that reminds me of where Luke Skywalker grew up on Tatooine.

Let’s hope the future never comes to this. Besides, I don’t want to live in a home that reminds me of where Luke Skywalker grew up on Tatooine.

14. Nothing like the kind of home than one designed to freak out the neighbors.

Now this house seems as if it's spying on the neighbors. Let's hope that there's no telescope behind either of the giant circular windows.

Now this house seems as if it’s spying on the neighbors. Let’s hope that there’s no telescope behind either of the giant circular windows.

15. Well, as long that feature’s in the colonial style, I don’t see how it won’t do any harm.

Now I don't think the front door style goes well with the rest of the house. In fact, I think it just makes an otherwise decent looking house seem fairly hideous.

Now I don’t think the front door style goes well with the rest of the house. In fact, I think it just makes an otherwise decent looking house seem fairly hideous.

16. Now I’m sure nobody could have too many dormer windows.

Actually, while I think two would've been fine, four is just way too many for this house. In fact, maybe this house shouldn't have any dormers at all.

Actually, while I think two would’ve been fine, four is just way too many for this house. In fact, maybe this house shouldn’t have any dormers at all.

17. Brenda decided to have her house painted her two favorite colors: lime green and bright yellow.

Now there's a sight for sore eyes. Actually it's more of a sight that will make your eyes sore. Let's say that lime green and bright yellow aren't a good color scheme for a house.

Now there’s a sight for sore eyes. Actually it’s more of a sight that will make your eyes sore. Let’s say that lime green and bright yellow aren’t a good color scheme for a house.

18. Now here’s a great modern design for your liking.

Looks like the kind of house I'd imagine Lex Luthor having as a summer home. Seriously, it's more or less "eek" than "chic" to me.

Looks like the kind of house I’d imagine Lex Luthor having as a summer home. Seriously, it’s more or less “eek” than “chic” to me.

19. Of course, you can barely go wrong with a free standing chimney.

Maybe, but I see no reason why this house would look any better with a Pizza Hut like roof at the front. Seriously, this home just looks too silly form me.

Maybe, but I see no reason why this house would look any better with a Pizza Hut like roof at the front. Seriously, this home just looks too silly form me.

20. I’m sure that trim on the garage enclosure goes well with the rest of the house.

Now I don't think the trim on the garage area was a good idea because it doesn't go well with the house at all. Yet, I do like the brick work though.

Now I don’t think the trim on the garage area was a good idea because it doesn’t go well with the house at all. Yet, I do like the brick work though.

21. When it comes to roofs, you can’t have too many gables.

This is a place in New Jersey called, "The Bird Turd House of the Seventy Gables." It was said to be inspired by the German Coo-Coo Clock. Yet, you can see why people liken it to bird turds.

This is a place in New Jersey called, “The Bird Turd House of the Seventy Gables.” It was said to be inspired by the German Coo-Coo Clock. Yet, you can see why people liken it to bird turds.

22. Of course, perhaps you’d prefer to live under a pyramid with glass windows.

Now this is a house in Belgium which has a reputation for terrible house architecture. Still, I'm sure I wouldn't want to live in a house like this.

Now this is a house in Belgium which has a reputation for terrible house architecture. Still, I’m sure I wouldn’t want to live in a house like this.

23. Sure, I think we can create more stories for that black row house.

If there has been any architect who ever gave the finger, then this is possibly in the most spectacular way possible.

If there has been any architect who ever gave the finger, then this is possibly in the most spectacular way possible.

24. Of course, we can build a home that expresses both business and party at the same time.

Unfortunately, this house seems to have a lot of windows (which makes me question about their bathroom and privacy). Not only that, but it sort of resembles one of those ultramodern doctors' offices for some reason.

Unfortunately, this house seems to have a lot of windows (which makes me question about their bathroom and privacy). Not only that, but it sort of resembles one of those ultramodern doctors’ offices for some reason.

25. Now how about you paint your house in a shade of pink?

Now I'm not sure about pink houses in general. Yet, I'm not sure if this pink would be perfect for Malibu Barbie, let alone anyone else.

Now I’m not sure about pink houses in general. Yet, I’m not sure if this pink would be perfect for Malibu Barbie, let alone anyone else.

26. Now here’s a house that would really jump out to you, in an asymmetrical way.

Then again, it could use another window on the second story. On the other hand, I'm not sure how you can improve this house's look.

Then again, it could use another window on the second story. On the other hand, I’m not sure how you can improve this house’s look.

27. Now let’s step inside this lovely mansion.

Okay, that might be Albus Dumbledore's summer vacation cottage. You know, the Sherbert Lemon Wizard Ranch.

Okay, that might be Albus Dumbledore’s summer vacation cottage. You know, the Sherbert Lemon Wizard Ranch.

28. Okay, so let’s flip this house.

Hey, when I said, "flip this house," I didn't mean in this fashion. Oh, God, I'm surrounded by idiots.

Hey, when I said, “flip this house,” I didn’t mean in this fashion. Oh, God, I’m surrounded by idiots.

29. Hello, and welcome to Hayvenhurst.

I'm sure that it would look much better if the front way didn't have to be as high as the other parts of the house. But these owners really wanted to make a grand entrance.

I’m sure that it would look much better if the front way didn’t have to be as high as the other parts of the house. But these owners really wanted to make a grand entrance.

30. This house tends to go for the black and white stripes variety.

Looks almost as if someone made a house out of part of an army surplus store and tried to pass it as if it was made out of Legos. Nice try.

Looks almost as if someone made a house out of part of an army surplus store and tried to pass it as if it was made out of Legos. Nice try. Seems like the perfect vacation home for Beetlejuice, if you include the ugly yellow porch.

31. I don’t care how well it goes with the house. I want a castle tower.

Now maybe you shouldn't get  castle tower unless you live in an actual castle. It just looks so out of place.

Now maybe you shouldn’t get castle tower unless you live in an actual castle. It just looks so out of place.

32. Now I give you the most expensive house in the world.

How in the hell would anyone want to buy such an expensive piece of shit? If you want to build a home that costs about $2 billion, at least make it look nice.

How in the hell would anyone want to buy such an expensive piece of shit? If you want to build a home that costs about $2 billion, at least make it look nice.

33. Now here is a palm desert mansion any celebrity would buy.

Now I can't tell the difference between this house and  large pile of scrap metal. How would anyone want to entertain at this seeming pile of junk?

Now I can’t tell the difference between this house and large pile of scrap metal. How would anyone want to entertain at this seeming pile of junk?

34. I call this an owl house.

Just don't ask it how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Still, kind of freaky looking if you ask me.

Just don’t ask it how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Still, kind of freaky looking if you ask me.

35. Now I’m sure a big block of brick at the front upstairs window won’t hinder its looks.

Now this is just such an hideous block placement that I'm not sure ivy can cure. Still, I think it would look better if the brick block in the upstairs window would be removed.

Now this is just such an hideous block placement that I’m not sure ivy can cure. Still, I think it would look better if the brick block in the upstairs window would be removed.

36. What can go wrong with painting your house purple?

Now I really like purple. In fact, it's my favorite color. But I don't know what to think about Dracula's taste in exterior decorating.

Now I really like purple. In fact, it’s my favorite color. But I don’t know what to think about Dracula’s taste in exterior decorating.

37. How about a house colored with the rainbow?

Alright, this resident is on something. And by that, I mean like LSD, marijuana, PCP, brown acid, and other hallucinogen that's known to make you see God or bring world peace.

Alright, this resident is on something. And by that, I mean like LSD, marijuana, PCP, brown acid, and other hallucinogen that’s known to make you see God or bring world peace.

38. How about make your home inside this pyramid?

Now I don't know about you but I can't help but think that the person who lives there is part of some big shadow organization like the Illuminati perhaps. Then again, there's the Freemasons since this pyramid looks like the one on a US dollar bill, according to the National Treasure franchise.

Now I don’t know about you but I can’t help but think that the person who lives there is part of some big shadow organization like the Illuminati perhaps. Then again, there’s the Freemasons since this pyramid looks like the one on a US dollar bill, according to the National Treasure franchise.

39. Now I’ve never seen a triangle frame house quite like this one.

Now if this house was possessed, at least I know that the monster is basically in this place. Actually, the house may be the monster as you see by the window eyes and face.

Now if this house was possessed, at least I know that the monster is basically in this place. Actually, the house may be the monster as you see by the window eyes and face.

40. Now there is a house with a lot of funky color in it.

Unfortunately, the house painter might've had too much brown acid at Woodstock. I'm sure this is a certain eye sore for neighbors.

Unfortunately, the house painter might’ve had too much brown acid at Woodstock. I’m sure this is a certain eye sore for neighbors and may send some into seizures.

41. This house just needs a friend to keep it warm near the red telephone booth.

Don't look now but I think this house wants to eat us. Seriously, I don't like the look in its face. Keep away.

Don’t look now but I think this house wants to eat us. Seriously, I don’t like the look in its face which is creeping me out. Keep away.

42. I suppose this home would suit any Lord of the Rings fan.

Well, any LOTR fan who's on a budget and thought Rivendell looked too fancy and not enough like some kind of creepy mad scientist's lair.

Well, any LOTR fan who’s on a budget and thought Rivendell looked too fancy and not enough like some kind of creepy mad scientist’s lair.

43. Now this house must be very angry with its owners right now.

Of course, this is why the owners haven't realized that this house isn't too fond of them. This explains why their home has so many problems all the time.

Of course, this is why the owners haven’t realized that this house isn’t too fond of them. This explains why their home has so many problems all the time.

44. I’m sure houses have feelings, too, you know. Sometimes they’re not as apparent.

This house doesn't seem to be too happy here. Maybe it's because they're not paying attention that it has dry rot or something. Still, the brick work is pretty nice on this one.

This house doesn’t seem to be too happy here. Maybe it’s because they’re not paying attention that it has dry rot or something. Still, the brick work is pretty nice on this one.

45. Of course, you’d always need a tower to cover up the front door and for a possible room upstairs.

I don't know about you but there's something kind of out of place and phallic about this house. I just can't put my finger on it. Still, it would look better if it didn't have that brick tower.

I don’t know about you but there’s something quite phallic about this house. I just can’t put my finger on it. Still, it would look better if it didn’t have that brick tower. Also seems to have a creepy face, which makes this house even freakier. Still, why are there so many ugly houses in Belgium?

46. Of course, some houses are fairly accommodating.

For some reason, I wouldn't be able to look at this house and wonder whether I was being watched. There's just something unsettling about it if you know what I mean.

For some reason, I wouldn’t be able to look at this house and wonder whether I was being watched. There’s just something unsettling about it if you know what I mean.

47. Remember, kids, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Kind of reminds me of what Batman's greenhouse may look like if he ever got into gardening. Also seems to have a monstrous face.

Kind of reminds me of what Batman’s greenhouse may look like if he ever got into gardening. Also seems to have a monstrous face.

48. House by day. Transformer by night.

I also wouldn't be surprised if this would be the kind of house Batman would live in, if he wasn't born into a rich family. Yet, I don't know what the Batmobile would look like.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if this would be the kind of house Batman would live in, if he wasn’t born into a rich family. Yet, I don’t know what the Batmobile would look like.

49. Welcome to Saint Peter’s Catholic Church and Car Repair.

Basically the only place where you can receive the sacrament of Reconciliation and a wax job.

Basically the only place where you can receive the sacrament of Reconciliation and a wax job. And yes, it’s in Belgium.

50. Now let’s get this house to stand right back up again.

Oh, wait. My mistake. Looks like it was how this house was built, and not as though it had been through a hurricane. Sorry.

Oh, wait. My mistake. Looks like it was how this house was built, and not as though it had been through a hurricane. Sorry.

51. Murg seemed to like earth so much that he ended up settling down and turning his spaceship into a home.

Of course, he thought his spaceship was so large and spacious than most houses that he didn't bother with going through renovations. At least on the outside, that is.

Of course, he thought his spaceship was so large and spacious than most houses that he didn’t bother with going through renovations. At least on the outside, that is.

52. Now how about some dark woodwork with that painted wooden siding?

While I was in marching band in high school, we played against a school that had brown and yellow as a school color. And let me say, these two colors don't go well together at all, except maybe in the toilet.

While I was in marching band in high school, we played against a school that had brown and yellow as a school color. And let me say, these two colors don’t go well together at all, except maybe in the toilet.

53. Nothing makes a house a home like unconventional window placement.

However, there is such a thing as being too much unconventional that it makes the house seem like a residence for a Dr. Seuss character.

However, there is such a thing as being too much unconventional that it makes the house seem like a residence for a Dr. Seuss character.

54. Welcome to our elevated trailer park apartments.

I think someone made a gingerbread display of this that I posted for gingerbread architecture. Still, I don't think trailers tend to bring down property values in a lot of ways. At least in America.

I think someone made a gingerbread display of this that I posted for gingerbread architecture. Still, I don’t think trailers tend to bring down property values in a lot of ways. At least in America.

55. In the future, everyone will live in these large concrete spheres that seem to appear from some futuristic Soviet era.

Please, don't make me live here. The prospect of residing in these mammoth balls of concrete seems like depressing prospect to me. Also, they tend to resemble giant aliens from outer space or something. And they don't seem too happy.

Please, don’t make me live here. The prospect of residing in these mammoth balls of concrete seems like depressing prospect to me. Also, they tend to resemble giant aliens from outer space or something. And they don’t seem too happy.

56. Nothing says home, like a curvy brown home suitable for the CEO of UPS.

If it wasn't for the windows, I would've mistaken this house for a colossal turd from some extremely large mythical creature. Seriously, this is one of the ugliest houses in modern architecture I've ever seen.

If it wasn’t for the windows, I would’ve mistaken this house for a colossal turd from some extremely large mythical creature. Seriously, this is one of the ugliest houses in modern architecture I’ve ever seen.

57. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the IKEA trailer.

Now I may equate trailers with hillbillys and country music. But let me say, that even the worst looking trailers I've seen have never been as ugly as this one. Let's just say I don't equate trailers with high concept design and there's a reason for it.

Now I may equate trailers with hillbillys and country music. But let me say, that even the worst looking trailers I’ve seen have never been as ugly as this one. Let’s just say I don’t equate trailers with high concept design and there’s a reason for it.

58. Of course, you can never go overboard with fancy decorations on a house.

Actually, I take that back you can, especially if the house is brown. Still, looks like a kind of house I'd expect Willy Wonka to own. I mean he has to have some space to escape from all those Oompa Loompas singing.

Actually, I take that back you can, especially if the house is brown. Still, looks like a kind of house I’d expect Willy Wonka to own. I mean he has to have some space to escape from all those Oompa Loompas singing.

59. Now here’s a nice little tower house for fans of Jurassic Park.

Then again, I think a dinosaur quashing it might improve its looks. I mean it just seems more like a house I'd see aliens living in who miss the architecture from their planets.

Then again, I think a dinosaur quashing it might improve its looks. I mean it just seems more like a house I’d see aliens living in who miss the architecture from their planets.

60. Apparently this house was built by an architect inspired by the soaring bald eagle’s rear end.

Let's just say this marvel in modern architecture just seems to be the architect's expression of basically saying, "Up yours!" to his or her clients. Yet, the stupid clients weren't smart enough to figure that out.

Let’s just say this marvel in modern architecture just seems to be the architect’s expression of basically saying, “Up yours!” to his or her clients. Yet, the stupid clients weren’t smart enough to figure that out.

61. Looks like the parents loved how they did the kids’ room so much that they wanted the whole house painted like this.

Now I wouldn't be surprised if this house was in Sweden and the head of IKEA lived there. And I wouldn't even be at all surprised if that person had to build the house from a set of pictoral instructions.

Now I wouldn’t be surprised if this house was in Sweden and the head of IKEA lived there. And I wouldn’t even be at all surprised if that person had to build the house from a set of pictoral instructions.

62. Nothing brings out the nice Florida atmosphere than a house painted lime green.

Remember, kids, friends don't let friends paint their houses in lime green even in Florida. That goes the same way with most of the houses painted in the outfit colors of Florida residents over 65, especially in Boca Raton.

Remember, kids, friends don’t let friends paint their houses in lime green even in Florida. That goes the same way with most of the houses painted in the outfit colors of Florida residents over 65, especially in Boca Raton.

63. Perhaps you were seeking a house in a more naturalistic architectural style.

Now this house seems to resemble a gigantic tree monster who'd basically devour you if you ever try to cut down any of its sacred trees. Yeah, I wouldn't want to live there.

Now this house seems to resemble a gigantic tree monster who’d basically devour you if you ever try to cut down any of its sacred trees. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to live there.

64. Wow! What a colorful row of row houses.

Now this really seems like a tacky day in this neighborhood. This is why row houses should always be built in the same style. Else, I'm sure some neighborhood onlooker is going to break out in seizures.

Now this really seems like a tacky day in this neighborhood. This is why row houses should always be built in the same style. Else, I’m sure some neighborhood onlooker is going to break out in seizures.

65. Hey, kids, there’s the home of Sam I Am from Green Eggs and Ham no less.

Well, it looks like one of those houses you'd find in a Dr. Seuss book. I'm sure Dr. Seuss would be surprised that his work might've inspired a whole architectural movement.

Well, it looks like one of those houses you’d find in a Dr. Seuss book. I’m sure Dr. Seuss would be surprised that his work might’ve inspired a whole architectural movement.

66. I’m sure blue and orange is a great color scheme for any house.

Man, someone must be a huge fan of the Syracuse Orange that they don't even bother considering how tacky their house looks. I get migraines just looking at that place.

Man, someone must be a huge fan of the Syracuse Orange that they don’t even bother considering how tacky their house looks. I get migraines just looking at that place.

67. I’m sure building a home based on your daughter’s dollhouse seemed like a very good idea at the time.

Now just because the facade would go great on a dollhouse, doesn't mean it will translate well in real life. Besides, I'm sure the dollhouse that served as an inspiration was made by Fisher Price.

Now just because the facade would go great on a dollhouse, doesn’t mean it will translate well in real life. Besides, I’m sure the dollhouse that served as an inspiration was made by Fisher Price.

68. I’m sure this warehouse will provide well for your storage needs.

Wait a minute, this is an actual house? Then why does it look like the kind of place Walter White would store his meth stash? And why does it seem to lack total character?

Wait a minute, this is an actual house? Then why does it look like the kind of place Walter White would store his meth stash? And why does it seem to lack total character?

69. Now I’m sure green and red would make your house appear rather festive during the holiday season.

Maybe this house would look perfectly fine during the Christmas season. But other times of the year? Not so much. Also, is that lime green?

Maybe this house would look perfectly fine during the Christmas season. But other times of the year? Not so much. Also, is that lime green?

70. This mansion design was brought to you by Lincoln Logs.

Now I'm sure this is the place where Bruce Wayne trained with Raz al' Ghul in the Dark Knight Saga. Then again, it's been awhile since I've seen Batman Begins anyway.

Now I’m sure this is the place where Bruce Wayne trained with Raz al’ Ghul in the Dark Knight Saga. Then again, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Batman Begins anyway.

71. Now I’m sure this yellow house will strike your fancy.

I'm sure this house was based off that Veggie Tales episode on the Alamo. You know, the one with Davy Broccoli, Jim Beet and General Santa Artichoke.

I’m sure this house was based off that Veggie Tales episode on the Alamo. You know, the one with Davy Broccoli, Jim Beet and General Santa Artichoke.

72. Now let’s put a sun light near the angle so we can save money non energy.

I suppose this place was the starting home of Lex Luthor. I hear his ex-wife lives in that place to this day and that they're not on very good terms.

I suppose this place was the starting home of Lex Luthor. I hear his ex-wife lives in that place to this day and that they’re not on very good terms.

73. There were so many great colors we couldn’t decide. So we went with all of them.

Looks like the paint fumes really seem to get to the painters in this case. You know how inhaling paint could make you see certain things.

Looks like the paint fumes really seem to get to the painters in this case. You know how inhaling paint could make you see certain things.

74. Now this house just makes me see spots just looking at it. Great big colorful ones.

Now this polka dot house may get the neighbors asking the owner, "Are you high?" Also, I'm sure that they don't go well on a house at all.

Now this polka dot house may get the neighbors asking the owner, “Are you high?” Also, I’m sure that they don’t go well on a house at all.

75. Now I just need a big garage to park my car and a nice circular window to spy on the neighbors.

Let's just say, I wouldn't want to live in a neighborhood with a house like this. Besides, I don't think the small warehouse garage and the awning like front part go well with the rest of the house either.

Let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to live in a neighborhood with a house like this. Besides, I don’t think the small warehouse garage and the awning like front part go well with the rest of the house either.