Great Blunders in Auto Aesthetics

antique-and-vintage-cars-mercedes-benz-classic-hd-cars-wallpaper

I may not drive a car or have a driver’s license for that matter. But this doesn’t mean that I can’t talk about cars, particularly auto aesthetics. Sure cars were made to get us from point A to point B, but that doesn’t stop people from wanting one that matches their style. Since the time when rich people wanted fancy cars to show off their wealth, it wasn’t long until the ordinary folk wanted their own cars to fit their style as well. Some of these have become icons of their era like the muscle cars of the 1950s. I can go on and on about the great looking cars out there. But I know you’d be bored to tears and tell me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So instead I’ll do a post on some of the biggest automobile eyesores to ever grace the road. Some might just fire for function but not effect. Some might’ve seen good ideas at the time and their designs just haven’t aged well. While others, well, make you want to scratch your head and wonder what the hell they were thinking when it was being design. Nevertheless, at any rate, I hope you enjoy these ugly cars for your reading pleasure.

  1. Volkswagen Thing
006_vw_thing

Because calling it the Volkswagen Cardboard Box Convertible wouldn’t fly and the guys at Volkswagen couldn’t think of any good ideas for names. Seriously, when a car is called, “Thing” it kind of shows that the automaker doesn’t think much of it.

2. Tatra T603

fe_401136_600

Made in Czechoslovakia between the 1950s and 1970s, this was said to be “Communism’s Finest Car” that was driven by officials and factory owners. Nevertheless, why it’s designed like the kind of sedan a Batman villain would be too embarrassed to drive, I have no idea.

3. Nissan S Cargo

026_nissan_s_cargo_001

In France, escargot is a snail dish that’s considered a delicacy. This is a retro style commercial van that was sold from 1989-1992 to carry small cargo. Not sure if it got the job done in terms of hauling stuff. But in France, I can bet that this car surely lived up to its name at any rate.

4. 1957 Multipla Marinella

1957Fiat600MultiplaMarinella-629x419

The kind of car that resembles a cross between a retro looking minivan and a golf cart. Seems more appropriate for driving around an amusement park or the links than going to work.

5. Bond Bug

008_bondbug

While it certainly looks like a bug without a doubt, but I don’t think it’s a car I’d see James Bond driving by any stretch of the imagination. Or anyone else during the 1970s when this car was made. And your parents thought the AMC Gremlin was hideous.

6. Trabant

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The East German answer to the Volkswagen Beetle, this seemed to combine the beetle’s design with a something the Joker might drive. Nevertheless, to say it was a failure in East Germany is an understatement.

7. AMC Pacer

014_amcpacer

When it came out in 1975, it was the toast of the automotive press as it was called, “futuristic,” “bold,” and “unique.” Keep in mind that they viewed the same thing about polyester pants.

8. Pontiac Aztek

pontiac-aztek-8

Best known as the Walter White’s signature ride in Breaking Bad when he’s a teacher and not a meth cook. Keep in mind, people tend to make fun of Walter White for his minivan that seems like a Gobot mutant meets a space shuttle. Possibly designed by a front team and a back team who never spoke to each other.

9. AMC Gremlin

maxresdefault

With the Pacer and the Ford Pinto, it’s the epitome of bad 1970s car design. Almost makes you want to apologize to those small creatures who caused problems in WWII planes.

10. Nissan Cube

034_nissan_cube

I can guess where it got its name due to its geometric design. Nevertheless, you tend to wonder whether this is it or the box it came in.

11. Ashton Martin Lagonda

016_aston_martin_lagonda

Yes, a 1970s luxury car that boasts the elegance on the road akin to a funeral home. The kind of car that’s expensive enough for James Bond to drive yet, one nobody would miss if it happens to explode.

12. Subaru BRAT

subaru_1975-brat_f34_fe_401131_600

Keep in mind that “BRAT” is an acronym for Bi-Lateral Recreational All-Terrain Transporter. Still, the name is pretty appropriate for this obvious Japanese ripoff of a Ford El Camino. And it wasn’t sold in Japan either.

13. Corbin Sparrow

037_corbin_sparrow

Sure it’s a compact vehicle that runs on electric that was made in 1999. However, when I see it, I tend to think of it as the latest thing in clown car technology. And a car even clowns would be too embarrassed to drive.

14. Ford Pinto

009_ford_pinto

One of the big auto eyesores of the 1970s, it was about as bad to drive in one as it looked. Let’s just say you were lucky that it didn’t explode in a rear end collision, which gave it a shady reputation.

15. Citroen 2CV

citroen_1949-2cv_f34_fe_401131_600

No, it’s not an antique PT Crusier, but good guess. Still, this is a French car that was in production from its postwar years to the 1990s. Nevertheless, it’s not much to look at but was a rather dependable car. Was also known to be used by hippies during the 1960s.

16. Lotus Europa

4324047042_74439778a4_o

Or what you get when you cross a hearse with a 1970s Batmobile. Seriously, that’s what it looks like.

17. Mohs Ostentatiene Opera Sedan

r6yuewrgtdfgrgrgrgrgrgrgr

This is a strange car and a rather expensive and hideous one, too. Only one of these was ever built. Still, it included a refrigerator, a butane furnace, and a TV. And you could order to have it customized with Ming Dynasty style rugs.

18. Bricklin SV-1 (Safety Vehicle 1)

011_bricklin_sv_1

Seems to look a bit like a Delorean but uglier. Didn’t come equipped with a lighter or ashtray because as the sales brochure said, “We don’t think smoking while driving is safe; we don’t want you dropping a hot cigarette in your lap and driving our beautiful car into a tree.” But their 99 lb doors were known to come crashing down when the support struts failed. Talk about skewed safety priorities.

19. Toyota Yaris Verso

1295072-toyota-yaris-verso-629x412

From the Telegraph: “The Yaris Verso might well have its loyal followers, but there’s no denying that this little car, which is a cross between a supermini and a van, is a challenge to behold. Useful, yes, attractive, no.”

20. Fiat Multipla

033_fiat_multipla

For many, this is new age car appears to be made on another planet. But it was actually made in Italy, believe it or not. Can fit 6 in 2 rows.

21. Ssangyong Rodius

5094146S7-modele--ssangyong-rodius

It’s a minivan from South Korea. Yes, it’s rear end is a monstrosity to behold. Nevertheless, doesn’t surprise me why this is a less known company than Huyndai.

22. Ford Fairlane

ugly-3

A muscle car from the 1950s which seems to resemble a retro convertible Batmobile. Not that Batman would drive one anyway. Kind of disappointed that it doesn’t have rocket blasters. That would’ve been cool.

23. Lincoln Continental Mark VI

1980_Mark_VI_Signature_Series

From RMF: “The car’s mishmash of seemingly random “retro” styling elements included non-functional fender air extractors, barely functional “porthole” windows, fins, a trunk-mounted spare and worst of all, that weird vinyl top that rises far above the sedan’s roofline in a very awkward center section. With the 1960s-era Continental one of the most beautiful cars of all time, what the heck happened?”

24. Davis D-2 Divan

fe_401131_600

When I hear the name, I imagine a rather cool car you’d see James Bond or Batman drive. And then you see this rolling toasting piece of crap that resembles those 25 cent plastic rides for kids outside certain retail stores. And I’m being generous.

25. Jeep Compass

049_jeep_compass

Hmm…guess this is what you get when you mate a Jeep with a minivan. And I hate to be honest but that union didn’t turn out well. Because that is one ugly ass baby.

26. Sebring-Vanguard Citicar

012_sebring_citicar

This car is just a combination of a golf cart and a tent. Made in the 1970s it was one of the first electric cars in the world. But I’m sure nobody would want to waylay an energy crisis with that thing.

27. Plymouth Prowler

031_plymouth_prowler

Guess this is the perfect car for any Batman villain to drive. And as far as the color scheme goes, Harley Quinn comes to mind.

28. Ford Scorptio

Screen-Shot-2014-11-13-at-8.46.32-AM-629x380

Has a sleek sedan design as well as a face of a big mouthed frog. Wonder why it doesn’t eat the bugs that come veering toward its windshield.

29. Citroen Ami

citroen-ami6-1963-1

France may be known for its fashion. But this nightmare seems to be part car and part giant insect. Also, the top doesn’t look great either.

30. Lamborghini Veneno

2014_lamborghini_veneno_actf34_fe_401131_600

As Edmunds’ John Pearley Huffman wrote, “Every supercar cliché and every bad idea Lamborghini ever had, stuffed into one overpriced show car. It’s the worst thing out of Italy since fascism.” Besides, $41 million is a high priced to pay for a life sized Hot Wheels.

31. Suzuki X-90

suzuki_1996-x90_f34_fe_401131_600

Supposed to combine the features of the Japanese economy car to the American pickup truck. As you see from its appearance, it didn’t turn out so well.

32. Nissan Juke

2013_nissan_juke_actf34_fe_401131_600

Bulbous headlights sure make this car resemble some freaky 4 eyed monster. Wouldn’t want to see that at night.

33. Chrysler PT Cruiser

2009-chrysler-pt-cruiser-540x303

Thank you, Chrysler, you have finally come up with a car that’s suitable for the Joker to drive in. I’m sure he will either love it or want to blow it up. Maybe both.

34. Lada Kalina

1003

Made in Russia, this auto eyesore is part SUV and part robomonster. Not sure if it runs on gas or human flesh.

35. Chevy City Express

44e94fe9d297e53f011a8eca4100c2e17eab0c2a

Now this is a rather sleek car design, for a windowless van your parents never told you to get into. Guess General Motors is bringing the latest in creeper car technology. If you see someone in your neighborhood driving one, check if they’re a registered sex offender.

36. Kia Amanti

2007_kia_amante_actf34_fe_401131_600

From Your Car Is Ugly: “They had clearly intended to make a car that had class and style, since it’s the most expensive Kia. Instead, it looks like an adorable elementary school art project which got way out of hand.”

37. Tata Nano

050_tata_nano

Made in India and said to be the cheapest car in the world at $2,500. However, driving this jelly bean car will make onlookers less likely to take you seriously. Nevertheless, while it was India’s attempt for their Volkswagen Beetle, it’s now starting to become the country’s equivalent of the Ford Pinto.

38. Toyota Scion IQ

051_scion_iq

Think of it as having the features of a jelly bean and a bulldozer combined into one sedan. The fact that it’s in a bright chartreuse only makes it worse.

39. Subaru Baja

046_subaru_baja

It’s the kind of auto that can’t decide whether it wants to be a car or a truck. Might be fitting for an African Safari. But that’s a huge maybe.

40. Skoda Roomster

048_skoda_roomster

I guess this is the kind of car suitable for the American soccer mom who also makes a living as a funeral director. Then again, I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard of Skoda before or whether it’s even sold in the US.

41. Lamborghini LM002

Lambrghini-LM002-autodrome.fr_

I guess Lamborghini was trying to cater to the Hummer and Land Rover crowd at one point. Because it sure looks like it since it resembles an army vehicle like a overloaded jeep or a tank. Also called “the Rambo Lambo” for obvious reasons.

42. Toyota Van

023_toyota_van

From Odometer: “This van looks just like something Clark Griswold would drive on one of his many dysfunctional family road trips. That’s not a compliment!”

43. Mini Paceman

Mini-Paceman-2_2338808b

If the Volkswagen Beetle is called “the Bug,” the Mini Paceman can be called, “the Cockroach.” Another car more suitable for a Batman villain like the Penguin.

44. Daimler SP250 (Dart)

daimler_1959-sp250_f34_fe_401131_600

When I see this muscle car, I tend to imagine a brightly colored big mouthed fish from the deep. Or a car well fitting for the Creature of the Black Lagoon. I’m not sure which.

45. Ford Edsel

edsel-citation-1958-1

Resembling a really ugly fish with pursed lips, the Ford Edsel was released in 1958 and named after Henry Ford’s son. However, it would later become one of the biggest auto flops in history that its name is now synonymous for failure.

46. Reliant Regal

a96780_Regal

This 3 wheeler was produced in the UK between 1953-1973 and could be driven on a motorcycle license. Nevertheless, despite the name, it neither looks reliant nor regal at all.

47. Chevy Avalanche

040_chevy_avalanche

This car is supposed to be a combination of the pickup truck and an SUV. Either way, many would say that this is an insult to an actual avalanche.

48. Honda Element

currenthonda modelx

Because something like the “Honda Elephant” wouldn’t fly. Seems to be the product of a union between an SUV and a U-Haul.

49. Nissan Murano Cross Cabriolet

1024px-2011_Nissan_Murano_CrossCabriolet_-_10-28-2011

This was supposed to be a convertible approach to an SUV. Still, for cars that serve no purpose, they could’ve made it look pretty like the old muscle cars. Instead, it just looks idiotic. Was pulled after selling less than 1,000.

50. Volkswagen Vanagon Westfalia Camper

1980_Vanagon_Westfalia

From Rant Cars: “If you gave money to the PBS pledge drive, listened to John Denver, referred to hostels as “hotels”, and thought Birkenstocks count as dress shoes — this was the vehicle for you. The rest of us knew that it was a confused, mixed up, error from start to finish. The roof popped up for no apparent reason and the camping hookups did no good in suburban university towns. Who really wanted a car that looked like a suppository?”

51. Mercedes-Benz Sprinter

800px-Mercedes-Benz_Sprinter

For a car that’s called “Sprinter” it looks like a rather bulky, scaled down RV. You’d think Mercedes-Benz would make a better looking car than this monstrosity.

52. Isuzu VehiCROSS

Isuzu-VehiCROSS

Now when you hear the name, you’d assume it was the coolest car ever built. Then you see this wretched thing that resembles a brightly covered termite and are so disappointed that all you can do is stare.

53. Chevrolet SSR

044_chevrolet_ssr

This car was supposed to appeal toward people who liked classic cars and wanted a truck or a roadster. To me, its short run is unsurprising since it resembles the kind of car that’s driven by a cartoon character.

54. Yugo GV

019_yugo

Made in the former Yugoslavia and released in the US in 1986 at the low price of $3,990, the Yugo was marketed as basic, reliable, transportation in the tradition of the VW Beetle and the Ford Model T. However, it was one of the most unreliable cars ever built that it was nicknamed the “Yugo Pushing” for how often it left owners stranded. And it has become the prime example of the shitbox economy car. Its looks aren’t worth writing home about either.

55. Mitsuoka Orochi

Large-Image_10696

From Gearheads: “While the Mitsuoka Orochi does have a touch of uniqueness to it, it is overall one of the ugliest rigs ever built. It’s tiny grille looks like a miniature whale’s mouth and its headlights look like they were inspired by Sloth from Goonies. The silhouette of the Orochi isn’t bad at all. Actually, it is kinda supercar-like. Once you get to the back end, however, the obscene curves return to ruin it.” Also, seems to be painted by someone on acid.

56. Plymouth Fury

http://www.autogaleria.hu -

When the Plymouth Fury was being made, the designers were kidnapped by aliens and forced to design it to their specifications. This was the result.

57. Packard Hawk

1958PackardHawk_01_1500

Because calling it the “Packard Catfish” wouldn’t have gone so well. And for an osprey, it looks delicious. Only 588 were sold in 1958. And after that, Packard was gone.

58. Ferrari California

58855792009-ferrari-california-2

Oh, my God, this bug eyed convertible appears to have come to life. And it looks like it’s meant for a children’s show. Guess the people of California aren’t impressed.

59. Ferrari Enzo

042_ferrari_enzo_ferrari

Yet, another life sized and overpriced Hot Wheels car. Others may say it resembles a permanently baffled cod. Not paying $650,000 for this monstrosity.

60. Datsun F10

datsun_f10_yellow_mountain_1979

From a standpoint, its bug eyed headlights tend to make it the Peter Lorre of the auto world. Would later be known by the even less appropriate moniker the Nissan Cherry.

61. 1971 Mercury Cougar

mercury_1971-cougar_f34_fe_401131_600

To call it thus is just an insult to cougars. But this is a car from the 1970s with a monstrous grill. Perhaps a cougar attack might improve its looks.

62. Mercedes-Benz G-Class

1221694390389

Man, Mercedes sure does make a lot of fancy looking Humvees. Wait a minute, it’s for civilian use at $135,000? Yikes.

63. Ford Mustang II

1221694578329

You know how some movies have shitty sequels? Well, in the car world, the Ford Mustang II was this in the 1970s. Basically consists of a Ford Pinto with a mustang emblem on the grill.

64. Buick Electra 225

buick_1959-electra225_f34_fe_401131_600

From Edmunds: “All the 1950s styling clichés fight each other to the death on a relentlessly tasteless car. You could slice ham with those tail fins.” Sort of resembles some 1950s Batmobile.

65. Mercury Turnpike Cruiser

57_mercury_Turnpike-Cruiser-DV-10-MB_08

From Edmunds: “It features a ridiculous front bumper, radio antennas shooting forward from the roof, silly side trim and a rear window that goes down. What’s not to love/hate?” Kind of unsightly if you ask me.

66. Subaru 360

subaru_1959-360_f34_fe_401131_600

From Edmunds: “It looks sort of like concrete that’s been left to harden in a wheelbarrow, only less comfortable.” One of the first Japanese cars sold in the States, it didn’t go well.

67. Hummer H2

043_hummer_h2_

I’ve seen these and in that color. And let me say, the world would be a better place if we wipe that car off the face of the earth. Seriously, it’s an unreliable atrocity as well as a notorious gas guzzler. What more can you say?

68. Aurora

edtrghdfgdfdgfdsfdsfsdfsdfs

Designed by a Catholic priest with construction partially funded by his parishioners, this car was made to be the ultimate safety vehicle. Still, its sea ray design made its debut a disaster that the designer ended up in financial trouble and was forced to leave his order. Unsurprisingly.

69. Buick Limited

306748-Berserker

Described by a critic as, “Dreadful styling, high thirst, gargantuan size, and barge-like handling: There’s no bigger or flashier example of the best and worst in late-50s American cars.”

70. Mitsubishi i-MiEV

6911

From Edmunds: “An egg that can’t be cracked open and scrambled for breakfast. Exactly the misery module we feared we’d end up driving in the future.”

71. Jaguar XJ-S

1981_jaguar_xj-s_f34_fe_401131_600

– From Edmunds: “Successor to the lovely E-Type, the XJ-S is Jag’s version of the Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Massive flying buttress roof concludes in huge taillights that together look like red plastic salad tongs.” At least the Chevrolet Monte Carlo was cheaper.

72. Subaru B9 Tribeca

2006_subaru_tribeca_f34_fe_401131_600

From Edmunds: “Subaru’s legendary oddness, swollen up in size and then cursed by a Venusian nose and a Martian tail.” This car was incredibly offensive to the eyes and wasn’t on the market for long.

73. Oldsmobile Dynamic 88

maxresdefault (1)

Sure is dynamic all right as you’d see in 1950s muscle cars. But it sure looks like a monstrous beast you wouldn’t want to mess with on the road.

74. Overland OctoAuto

Reeves-1911-4

Designed by the guy who invented the muffler, this 1911 car’s main feature is having 8 wheels for a smoother ride. In reality, all 8 wheels on a car gets you are more tire changes and being the joke of the neighborhood.

75. Fiat S76

050asasas

Called “the Beast of Turin” this 1912 steampunk gas guzzler was built specifically to beat a land speed record by Blitzen Benz. Possibly one of the largest Fiats ever built.

76. Sbarro Autobau

Fiat-Aquila

This is a concept car that was based on a spacecraft someone’s kid designed with Legos. It’ll probably never go into production. But serves as a warning that just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

77. Ferrari Conciso

michalakconciso_05

According to one critic, “A collaboration between Ferrari and a posse of clowns tripping on LSD.” Makes sense.

78. Fiat Aquila

fiat-aquila (1)

Another concept car that probably has never been produced. Resembles some kind of transport from another world designed by an alien with poor taste in cars.

79. 2008 Lexus SC-400

2008_lexus_sc-400_f34_fe_401131_600

Lexus is known to make nice cars. But this one seems to be made out of an overturned bathtub made into a convertible. Not a pretty sight by any stretch of the imagination.

80. Oldsmobile Omega

oldsmobile_1980-omega_f34_fe_401131_600

From Wheels.Ca: “Much like the X-90 (which could be a code name for a new member to the X-Men), the Omega also had a kickass name. Sadly, that was the only kickass thing about it. Manufactured for only decade, each update looked uglier and uglier; it eventually resembled a brick cosplaying as a car. The grill was so hideous that it looked like a cheese grater on steroids. There was a rumor that stated once you got behind the wheel, you instantly aged 15 years and developed arthritis. It’s fitting that Oldsmobile was the manufacturer of the Omega.”

81. Scion XB

bc49d2f95b0827a0297df8bd40c744dc

It’s a cross between a U-Haul and a snow plow truck in minivan form. To onlookers, it’s horrendous as can be.

82. Peel P50 Trident

4700132636_cd67861c4b_b

A 3-wheeled small car made in the 1960s. This one is light, compact, and fuel efficient. Unfortunately, it won’t get you laid.

83. Scion Hako

list_2_64_20101205_175855_808_th

Another concept that was probably never put into production. Mostly it’s because it resembles a mini 18 wheeler.

84. Ford Taurus

030_ford_taurus_

A bug-eyed flying saucer on wheels. Except that it doesn’t fly which is disappointing.

85. Brutsch Mopetta

list_2_64_20101121_071351_218_th

From Listoid: “Words cannot describe the shame one feels when seen driving this ‘thing.’” On the bright side, it’s guaranteed to prevent teen pregnancy.

86. Toyota FJ Cruiser

list_2_64_20101121_070621_708_th

Guess this is Toyota’s answer to the Hummer. Possibly more fuel efficient but sure to make people think any male owner is trying to compensate for something.

87. Bufori Geneva

bufori-geneva_800x0w

It’s a high class luxury vehicle made in Australia that’s suitable for the up and coming supervillain with wads of cash. I’m talking to you, Lex Luthor.

88. Lightburn Zeta

BW13_r260_01

From Bloomberg: “This Australian car was designed by a maker of cement mixers and washing machines, but that might be obvious. There are two grilles, both in a fence-like pattern, with protruding headlights on either side.” Looks like something’s that straight out of Dr. Seuss.

89. Talbot Matra Rancho

955683210_8c34537a75_b

A British made car, it was one of the first SUVS. But to me, it’s what you get when you cross a pickup truck with a rusty Popemobile. No offense, your holiness.

90. Nissan Leaf

2013_nissan_leaf_f34_fe_401131_600

From Rant Cars: “The nature-friendly Leaf is all electric, and like other things found in nature, looks like it has eyes on top of its head. It sure makes a statement though – nobody will ever mistake it for a lowly gasoline car.”

91. Marcos Mantis

14446544765_87ef081177_b

From About Autos: “This four-seat British sports “car” appears to have been designed by three different people, at three different times, all suffering from three completely different emotional disorders. It’s as if someone discovered a scrap-heap of bad design ideas and decided to assemble them as some sort of Christmas party joke, which was then discovered by a mentally deficient middle manager who put the resulting mess into production.”

92. Rolls Royce Camargue

rolls-royce_1974-camargue_f34_fe_401131_600

From Edmunds: “Pininfarina proves that with a little provocation it can design a clumsy and ridiculous coupe. It’s a Rolls-Royce that looks like a Fiat.” Said to be one of the most expensive cars at the time. But money can’t always buy taste.

93. Reva Electric Car

17mc7dyzabdq3jpg

Sure it runs on electric, but it’s said to be Top Gear’s “Worst Car of the Year.” Still, kind of resembles a car you’d see on a children’s show.

94. Weber Sportscar Faster One

17mc7e2xa0rjwjpg

From Jalopnik: “What can you say about the Weber Faster One that hasn’t already been explained to a court-appointed psychiatrist at the war crimes trail for the designers behind the Swiss monstrosity? Though fast, wicked fast, the Faster One looks like an angry Frenchman whose head has been bashed in and has taken revenge on the world that has made him an outcast. Hide the children when this car is around.”

95. Cadillac Escalade

036_cadillac_escalade

It’s supposed to be a SUV luxury vehicle. But its looks rank about as high as its resale value.

96. Tata Magic Iris

tata-magic-iris

When I see this, I think about a sci-fi robot on wheels. Nevertheless, why they named it after a magical flower is beyond me. But that’s India for you.

97. Ford Ka Series 1

1363921324561

From Bt: “It looked like the face of a Hello Kitty character but without the ‘cute’. And the front of the new one looks like it’s shouting obscenities at you. Horrible.”

98. Messerschmitt KR200

800px-Messerschmitt_Kabinenroller_Microcar

I think this might be the ugly stepsister of the Volkswagen Beetle. And it shows.

99. BMW Isetta

746px-Bmw_isetta_arp

Small, compact, and fuel efficient. Nevertheless, resembles the Volkswagen Beetle without its charm and pizazz. And is probably more expensive, too.

100. Chevy Chevette

015_chevette

From Marooned: “let’s see… ugly headlight assembly borrowed from the Pacer? Check. Odd, “melted” looking rear hatchback? Check. Crappy whitewalls and economy hubcaps? Check. This is one ‘Vette you don’t want Prince to sing about…”

The Timekeeping World of Clocks

0da285d6430e196a058340415a13998f

As we welcome 2016, I couldn’t think of a better post to start the new year off with than one about a device we use to tell time with. Now clocks have been one of the oldest human inventions to meet the need to consistently measure intervals of time shorter than that natural units such as the day, the lunar month, and the year. Such devices operating on several physical process have existed for millennia starting with sundials, hourglasses, water clocks to our modern digital and atomic clocks. A major advance in timekeeping was the invention of the escapement in Europe in the year 1300 which allowed the invention of first mechanical clocks which used oscillating timekeepers like balance wheels. Spring-driven clocks appeared during the 15th century and between that and the 16th century, clockmaking flourished. The Exploration Age saw the invention of the pendulum clock in 1656 as well as efforts to improve timing accuracy and reliability for the importance of navigation. The first electric clock was invented in 1840 while the 20th century saw clocks with no clock parts at all. Of course, there are plenty of clocks out there since there are people who make their own as a project. And there are some unique clocks that have been produced for the masses. So to open the new year for your reading pleasure, here is a collection of some truly unique clock designs you can’t miss a minute on.

  1. We begin with a rusty Steampunk clock that resembles a fish.
1ac943faf9a720f621e9f2d41b0f4eb1

Yes, it almost looks like Captain Nemo could’ve used one like this in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Still, I’m not sure if it reflects Nemo’s decorative tastes.

2. Now this is a clock that’s beneath a Grecian Urn.

1b21368285273414ffe7e8db11fcd6da

Of course, this one was from the mid 1800s, during the time of Emperor Napoleon III of France (don’t ask, it takes a long explanation). Still, probably didn’t come cheap.

3. Now this wall clock comes with some floral decoration.

1c9c24297865b724201dbda761135ff2

Now this was probably a DIY project and possibly by a girl. Yes, it’s a frilly clock but it’s quite pretty to say the least.

4. Some table clocks can look like anything. This one resembles a lawn chair.

2a99bd89dd50335c0e6abca7dcb320eb

I’m sure this is fairly small and can be put in a dollhouse. And I’m sure it’s more expensive than a plastic lawn chair. Still, very clever.

5. In this clock, the analog face is a girl’s hairpiece.

3b87c381faefe8514ae6a7adcb727c84

Now I think this clock wasn’t built to specifically tell time. And it some ways, it kind of looks either Steampunk or gothy. Yet, since it’s unique, it goes on the post.

6. When it comes to old muscle car headlights in a junkyard, you can give one a new life by making it into a clock.

clock

Yes, it looks a bit rusty. Yes, it can use some red paint. But still, I don’t think I can make a clock like that in a million years. Then again, I probably can’t make a clock, period.

7. Those who enjoy 1980s video games can now wake up with Pac-Man.

3d_pacman_alarm_clock_1

This is a 3D Pac-Man alarm clock. I’m sure this wasn’t made in the 1980s. But if you, hit the snooze button, I wonder if Pac-Man will try to eat your head.

8. Now this clock seems to go for a more natural look.

3fba4531a25594707448fb2b1d1ae87f

This one is made from a wooden panel and decorated with branches. Not sure if it fits in a hunting lodge. But hey, I like it.

9. Now I wonder whether this clock can tell you when it’s Miller time.

4e1dd0e5dd6ccc1d6685aa6e8a26a8d8

Then again, not sure if I know some of these beer brands. But I think this would be a perfect clock for a bar. Yet, very inappropriate for a venue that sponsors AA meetings.

10. For old clocks, make sure it has the proper gears to work.

5ab7d8ef803d15041665d209f54ef9a9

Now I guess this is either an antique or some DIY Steampunk creation. For some reason, it kind of reminds me of the movie Hugo.

11. This antique grandfather clock is not impressed.

5d455887cec7cb999ed6436261bffbfb

Now this is the kind of clock you’d expect to see from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Still, I doubt that this clock has a tale as old as time.

12. Now this is a martini shaker clock is perfect for any cocktail party.

6b3ed544f0784ef3da78dcadabb6c860

However, I wouldn’t recommend you using to shake James Bond’s martini. It probably has a bunch of parts within. Thus, it’s most likely for timekeeping and display only.

13. This pencil clock will help any teacher start on time in the classroom.

6badaf81aef32287ca7b1d22459908ea

Of course, these pencils look like Papermates, which have shitty erasers. Still, it’s pretty ingenious even if it doesn’t list numbers.

14. Do you sometimes wish that you had a block to tell the time for you?

6bb7d9206eed5e80196f39062121de26

Looking at this, you’d swear the clock numbers are painted on this black block of wood. Wonder how this works.

15. A clock tower clock? How original.

6d628ecce74d3cf15e385fa150ba0153

Though some towns have clock towers, they don’t usually look like this. But this one is suited for indoors and didn’t come cheap.

16. Now this antique clock seems to belong in some rich guy’s hunting lodge.

6f97de44ebdf4053f41e300010cc3702

I think this might be an antique German hunting lodge clock as far as I can tell, I’ve seen a smaller one in vintage postcard. But it looked nothing like this one.

17. This jeweled gold clock is small enough that you can take it wherever you go.

6fbf0bc5701ac80f3dcdad5b1606235e

Of course, assuming any of these jewels are real, it’s possible that this clock might cost more than a car. Nevertheless, it’s quite beautiful to say the least.

18. Need a way to tell when Polly needs a cracker? Perhaps this clock will tell you.

7cd5c7ec1333b33d50f171205b360003

Yes, this is a birdcage clock. Yes, the face is on the bottom, which means you’ll have to tilt your head back to know what time it is from this clock.

19. For those who want to know when to bake some bread, there’s an electric mixer clock for that.

7fcce9906e5f905e0848547bc94c07cc

Now this mixer looks as if it’s straight from the 1950s. But I don’t think it’s for actual use. Still, love the pink.

20. Of course, mornings are usually the time of say when they go to the Waffle House.

8f749728d555380beeb731a6fde663f4

The Waffle House is a breakfast food joint with similar heart attack inducing fare as Ihop. Yet, with a more shady reputation.

21. This sewing machine will help you determine the proper time to hem.

9a43a2639cdc05612bddc040d0be7182

Now this one seems to be a high class replica of those old sewing machines you had to power with a crank. Still, it’s quite nice.

22. This clock has a hand that tells the minute and a slit that reveals the hour.

9f16d7820842feda86b5868febdad2aa

Now that’s one neat way to tell time. From the face, I can guess it’s about ten after 11.

23. Now this is a watch that will exactly tell you the time of day.

36aa4696e23cb11031bcface0e10f7cf

Of course, the letters are all jumbled in this watch. But you get what I mean.

24. In case, you don’t know the time, day, or month, this clock will help you.

50f66190e02243c6940be4e9cf61aa9f

Kind of seems like something you’d see in a Jules Verne novel. Of course, we don’t need a clock to tell us the day or the month. We have calendars that do it for us.

25. Of course, some might be partial to peacocks in terms of their clock design.

53b4690543d20a8410e97d923933bb10

Now this one seems to have a peacock and his feathers all over this clock. Not sure if I want it, but it’s a rather ingenious design in its own way.

26. Now this timekeeper seems to be made from a slab of wood.

56fea0c9bf23535293ee14543bd7492c

Yes, it looks like it was made from a slab of varnished wood. But keep in mind that analog clocks look easier to make than they really are.

27. Of course, public clocks can always be seen from the side of buildings.

65a98f0d8758658ddbcb6a31f61741d3

Now this one is said to be from Belgium. Not sure what building it is. But whenever a clock strikes a certain hour, one of these figures jumps out of their holes.

28. Now this clock is sure to tell you when you need to whip out your old kitchen utensils.

85a20c554af083ee77f9f0f9247d342e

I don’t think those utensils will help you in the kitchen. Seems to go well with the previous electric mixer clock I put up. Then again, it’s in the same color.

29. Nothing makes a more beautiful clock face than cardinal in winter.

84f5a334d1fc506ec5ad12618f38a6b9

Now that’s a pretty cardinal and a well painted one, too. Still, this still doesn’t mean that it should be the bird symbol for 7 US states. I mean find a bird more original.

30. For all you music lovers out there, this clock is for you.

92e7f602a3ec58ccbe65f5e7f687930c

Now this one shows the kind of scales and how many sharps and flats you should use. Perfect for any music classroom.

31. Of course, we all remember this old Kit-Cat clock.

126c2cb3dc2f595b41992fd432894d1a

Correct me if I’m wrong. But I kind of find this cat’s moving eyes a bit unsettling whenever I see this in movies or cartoons. Why it’s so familiar, I have no clue.

32. On this wall clock, any time is pizza time.

200d525d84a174d6bb456f7c29788166

Of course, you can say that for some people. Not sure what to think of this. But it’s unique so it goes on this post.

33. When it comes to waking up in the morning, this alarm clock makes you shoot the snooze button.

205cdde876e3d804a6e63d1b3f94da19

Of course, using this alarm clock has been responsible for sleeplessness in Imperial Stormtroopers. Those familiar with Star Wars know that Stormtrooper marksmanship is appalling.

34. Now this is a commemorative clock that’s courtesy of the British Department of Silly Walks.

 

402f20f31e1ebbd8cbb0e9cd191419ef

You have to bet since that famous Monty Python sketch came out, that such a clock would soon exist. Of course, you’d never be able to tell when John Cleese is at his silliest here.

35. For all you space lovers out there, this clock shows the phases of the moon.

575d7dbc5e66edf409a645fb4e046573

Not sure if this clock depicts moon phases by the hour, day, or month. But I’m sure some space nerds would want to get their hands on one if they could.

36. Now this is a digital clock that tells time from a roll of film.

0720ee3074de8c2d88a9225d67f150ba

Of course, some of my younger viewers under a certain age (like children) may have no idea that we once used film to take pictures with. And that we had to send that roll away to develop them. And no, you couldn’t preview the picture on your screen because that didn’t exist. You had one shot to get it right and that was it.

37. These old license plates give this clock an interesting  face.

1706bc04067d8c409dc8319ad67f1d6b

Now theses are US license plates. But each one is of a different state and gives a number of the hour. It’s not colorful but it’s cool in its own way.

38. Seems like this clock gives you the time as if it’s keeping score.

2537e8d189d9bb4be4ac347579f2cef3

The numbers on here are depicted like tally marks. Numbers 1-5 don’t take up much space. But 11-12 certainly do.

39. If you didn’t know how to read a clock, you wouldn’t be able to tell the time by some of these hand signs.

5463e6b4680cb592eb8e9a19344690be

Now the numbers on this clock are depicted as seen in American Sign Language (ASL). From what I can tell on this. it’s about 25 till 8.

40. Now if you have an old lantern that’s obsolete, make a clock out of it.

9796f72cb67b026fb863cc1726f11ebe

Wonder if this clock was made from an old railroad lantern. Because it sure looks like it.

41. For the morbid sort, you might want to get the time from this skull.

201292b8de3f93c59d0f6b659b15726a

Of course, this might make some of my viewers squeamish. But I assure you, it’s most likely made out of wood. At least I hope it is.

42. Of course, you can make your own clock from a tree slice, if you find one big enough.

410134c5ce232268926eda4852c26613

Now from the rings, it seems that this tree was very old when it fell. And it seemed to have suffered from heart rot. So I guess it was going to die anyway.

43. For Captain James T. Kirk, it’s always time to go where no man has gone before.

a4b49d4513eba22df83d0abc112e0dc9

Now this is a clock depicting the spacecraft you see on Star Trek. I’m sure the 12 o’clock ship is the Enterprise. All the others I’m not so sure.

44. I don’t know about you, but I could’ve sworn that this clock was owned by Salvador Dali at some point.

a959a5d5817842d37bb1a2c323d95b47

I don’t know why I suspect it. Perhaps it’s because this clock’s face looks pretty surreal. And we know that Dali was a leading artist in that movement, particularly when it came to melting clocks like this one.

45. Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched?

a74b404953dd5b440af27eb8cc410dba

Now this is a Steampunk DIY clock that’s made to look like an owl. Uses gears, pieces of metal, and CDs. Still, I think it’s pretty cool.

46. I don’t know about you but this clock makes me feel that time is going down the drain.

b625f1264c79b6c3213e59768970de1b

Yeah, this clock makes it seem that all the hours are in some state of flux like a death spiral. Still, looking at it too long kind of makes you feel dizzy.

47. This pool cue ball clock is sure to delight any game room.

1dadba59f8823dfea643f245a74acc88

To some, this might be a wonderful work of art. To me, it appears more appropriate decoration for a bar, particularly one with a pool table.

48. A bedazzled alarm clock like this is sure to wake you up in the morning.

5ca49a83038c823625ef2a0f16b95366

I’m sure those gems are fake or this clock would be very expensive. Still, it’s incredibly tacky for my taste. Yet, I do love the diamond ring around the face.

49. This wall clock seems to have time on the ball.

b6dd14c8c9e7059506a734be30861f71

Not sure how this clock works. Does the clear one denote the hour while the red denotes the minute? Or is it the other way around?

50. Now this is the kind of clock that makes a good stove timer.

 

c2ca223e34716e2e243fa70b82bf572f

Well, it looks like an old fashioned stove. Not sure if I want it in the kitchen. But it sure looks so quaint and whimsical.

51. This guy seems happy that he’s arrived just in time.

bbd79c01665736c97ed6b9f698a6ef5a

Now that’s adorable even if it’s more suited for a kid’s room. Also, doubles as a bookcase as you see.

52. When I see this clock, it seems to remind that my time on earth is limited.

c8d6dd9f648de68df9d46cbdb75c44ec

I don’t know about you. But I don’t think I’d want to use this clock to count down to my inevitable mortality. Besides, I’ll be 26 in a couple of weeks.

53. With Atomic Age clocks, they can be in almost any shape or form.

c44cc1d45161e3ceb40f3667c5400469

Now these clocks come in all kinds of weird variations. But for some reason I like this one the best. Still, interesting taste.

54. I don’t know about you but is this clock watching me or the time?

c524fee4d8faaf48b6c4e3f71cd4fa17

Now this is creepy as hell. Not sure why someone would make this. Still, certainly wouldn’t want that in my living room.

55. I’m sure this clock helps tell you when it’s a good time to rock n’roll.

c0611f6dde86bcc25b664430499af9e1

Well, this was probably not made from a real electric guitar. Still, I think it would be perfect for any rock n’ roll room.

56. If you want to find the time of day, I suggest you look in this book.

cc52dcc50d1bce5e1e1f3609dcd60f4f

I’m sure there’s a bunch of gears and machinery inside. But it does look like a real book that tells time.

57. I’m sure you’ve seen a clock design like this on your dashboard. Oh, that was a speedometer but you get the idea.

clock_dx5kx

Now this would be perfect for someone who likes cars. Wonder which gauge indicates what. Then again, they each stand for 3, 6, and 9.

58. This clock will certainly be perfect for any bookshelf.

clocksevermade6

Now this clock does consist of a stack of books together. Wonder if anyone would notice it if you put it within a bookshelf among other books. Probably.

59. For artists in you, this pallet clock will help you decide when it’s time to paint.

clocksevermade20

I think that pallet might be made from an old vinyl record. But it does look quite classy if you ask me. Love it.

60. Not sure if you can listen to tunes on this record player. But it’ll give you the time of day.

clocksevermade11

Now this is a record player clock. For a long time people used to listen to music with these things. Vinyl records came with your basic LP and a Singles. This is single. It only has 2 songs on each side.

61. Seems like there’s a tie for every occasion and every hour.

clocksevermade23

Well, that’s one thing to do with all the neckties your dad doesn’t like. Of course, from here, it’s about 5 till 2.

62. Of course, this is the clock you have if you want to spend every second with the ones you love.

clocksevermade44

Of course, I wonder if these are real photographs or stock photos. Probably the latter. But some of these kids are so adorable. And I can tell some people might wants this.

63. A wall clock like this will certainly look good hanging in any kitchen or dining room.

clocksevermade45

I guess this clock was made with some cutlery. I’m fairly sure they’re black plastic. But still, I think it looks quite classy.

64. Now this clock tends to tell time by shifting gears.

clocksevermade31

Well, it tells the hour and the closest 5 minute approximation. But still, may not be something you’d want in your living room. But it does its job.

65. Now who says you can’t tell the time of day from an old tire?

clocksevermade54

Yes, this is a tire clock as you see here. Not sure if the tire is flat but I don’t think it matters. Because here it’s just used for decoration.

66. Now I’ve never thought I’d see an analog clock with no numbers or hands.

clocksevermade56

Now the hands on this clock are lasers. Yes, they’re lasers. Not sure if it’s the future. But it looks pretty neat. Never seen that before.

67. As this clock moves, the more the hands expand, contract, or possibly change color.

creative-clocks-14-2

Now this is a folding clock as you see here. Its two hands are connected by a cloth that’s different on each side. Not sure if I’d want it. But it’s unique so it goes on this post.

68. Whether it’s sunny or cloudy, this clock tells time in all kinds of weather.

creative-clocks-15-2

While this is a normal clock, it’s also said to have some qualities of a sundial. See how the light casts a shadow on the numbers and hands.

69. Now this one is a digital clock and tells the time with dominoes.

creative-clocks-11-3

Now according to this clock, it’s 10:29. Nevertheless, it does give you an adequate description in layman’s terms.

70. This clock seems to look as if its face is out of this world.

e38138e455f954f15c312ae8f670eb00

Basically this is a clock of our solar system. It’s not drawn to scale. But I’m sure this is the kind of clock Neil Degrasse Tyson would want on his wall.

71. This is outdoor can tell the time as well feed the birds.

d3b91254e13a62d27632ece46d9e2d05

Yes, this is a birdhouse clock. And yes, it has a pendulum. Not sure if it’s actually used for birds, but I like the simplicity of it all.

72. Of course, if you know the notes, you can guess the numbers on this clock.

ee7b05983af34814d778c486e063d9ec

Now the numbers on these are determined by how many beats each note gets in basic 4/4 time. So a quarter note = 1. A half note = 2. And a whole note = 4.

73. Of course, a clock with all the bright colors is bound to brighten your day.

e0bbb3bb22be7e08e2e0a23254ff16af

Not sure if all these colors on the clock represent the different colors of the rainbow. But they’re definitely colors you’d certainly see in Lisa Frank.

74. You can make a clock face out of anything, even things you might find at the beach.

ed3e6fc3d687019be5b8532980271154

As you see, the face is made from driftwood or flotsam and jetsam. The numbers are represented by shells. Nevertheless, wouldn’t mind having this.

75. Now this clock is situated on this lovely painted kettle.

f5d74990a030478ef3540419eb618593

Seems to depict a Roman scene as as I see it. Still, from the gold and laquer on this, I think this isn’t used for the kitchen and is more expensive than an actual kettle.

76. Now this is a clock only mathletes would have in their abodes.

IOXGX

I’m sure you can solve many of these problems since the answers are 1-12 as you go along clockwise. But math nerds will adore this.

77. I’m sure this clock hate’s being referred to of the grandfather variety.

0f3e7fda449230c6f666b5b1f7dc740f

Yes, this is a female clock and it’s an antique as well. Don’t ask me where this came from. I just found this on Pinterest.

78. Clock or paint splat? You decide.

fee6f226163205ec2a33ce7d241ac4f8

Now that really looks like a splat of paint on the wall. However, it’s probably made from black plastic. Still pretty neat though.

79. I don’t know about you but this looks like it’ll go off any second.

fun_and_completely_different_clock_designs_640_03

Relax, it’s a clock. Trust me it’s a clock that just looks like a bomb. And no, I don’t think it was designed by some Muslim teenager in Texas. Seriously, I don’t.

80. Of course, sometimes people just want to have their eggs over easy first thing in the morning.

unusual-clocks

Now this is a skillet clock with an egg on it. And the hands are a knife and fork. This would be perfect for Rob Swanson from Parks and Rec.

The Brightly Lit World of Lamps

home_lamps_d

Since humans have discovered fire as a lighting source, we have always tried to use some fixture to contain it or replace it. Of course, for a long time, our ancestors had to make due with torches, and candles. But they did have lanterns and lamps as well. It’s just that genies didn’t come out of them. However, as our interior design tastes so have lamps in terms of not just being a lighting fixture but also a decorative object. Today if you look in a store you’d find that there are so many kinds of lamps such table lamps, wall lamps, floor lamps, ceiling lamps, chandeliers, ceiling fan lamps, desk lamps, and so many more. Some are manufactured from factories. Some are DIY projects. Some are bought to match the room. Some are bought as souvenirs and in their own decorative fashion. But as we all know, all lamps are used to light up a closed space. Now this post will feature all kinds of lamps that many might find either ingenious or incredibly tacky. Yet, each is unusual in its own special way. So for your viewing pleasure, here is a treasury from the brightly lit world of lamps.

  1. Now this is called a “fairy flower lamp.”
0b347a40d3cc297803a6feee6b29ab05

Now this looks like a lamp you might find in a little girl’s room. Well, any little girl who has a fascination with pixies and fairies. Still, it’s pretty.

2. This lamp operates on a gear switch.

0c6e7aedbabb63feb457bd85a4a3ad87

Now this is one of the Steampunk lamps you might want to see in this post. Not sure if it turns on with a gear switch or not. But I might want to try.

3. Finally, the perfect lamp for coffee time.

1

Guess this is a lighted little tea pot tall and thin. And it seems like the lights on this go top to bottom. Still, I think it’s quite neat.

4. Now this seems like a futuristic lamp you’d find in Victorian London.

1a4fa2f67d28f26ce39cdcd33fe6c8b4

Kind of reminds me of some electric dynamo you’d find some mad scientist’s lab in a Jules Verne story. Still. wouldn’t mind having one of these in my room.

5. Of course, I’m sure this lamp design was inspired by the movie Alien.

1cd0e7b7b4745f274b0ed98714f4976f

Still, I wonder how long for this person to make and assemble this thing. Seems like some parts of this look quite delicate even if it’s made from metal.

6. I don’t know about you, but do you ever get the feeling you’re being watched?

02 (1)

Now this is the kind of lamp you can use to make your friends uncomfortable. Of course, you need to hide it in a corner like you do with a security camera.

7. For those wanting to do something with your old rotary telephone, perhaps make a lamp out of it.

2

Seems like this person stuck a couple light bulbs into this phone with some rewiring. Nevertheless, wonder how you hold this thing.

8. I’m sure this lamp is already blowing its own horn.

2b13b83a4d1eb70f7976c7aea2eb894f

Yes, it’s a lamp made from an old rusty French Horn. No, I don’t mean an old French guy’s love machine. I mean an actual French Horn like this one.

9. Sometimes you have to give old license plates a brighter chance.

2b959694152c25d64a314873f03e2c56

And I guess that this lamp is from New Mexico. Not sure if I like the yellow on this fixture. Then again, it’s their state flag with numbers.

10. Of course, a Cockatoo lamp sure makes your room a tropical delight.

2bc09ae44557c5707252063fec008bc5

Now to me this is an epitome to tackiness that knows no bounds. Still, you have to admire the effort. And hey, to each his own.

11. Of course, you can’t have too many lanterns dropping from the ceiling.

2e4170f25515e8372b8f848a1d4dddcf

Now this is listed as a chandelier on Pinterest. But I’m not sure if I’d necessarily call it that. But still, it looks very pretty.

12. These ceiling lamps are hung with a system of pulleys.

2e2878997a269098a9ae75748bc8bcfd

Well, they’re only held up by one pulley and wire. Still, I think it’s pretty cool and ingenious. Quite rustic, too.

13. Now this lunchbox and thermos seem to be headed out of this world.

3

Of course, these light bulbs seem to make it so. However, it’s kind of disappointing that astronauts don’t have a lunchbox and thermos with rocket blasters.

14. Seems like this lamp is atop a stack of tea cups.

3a1b3cc9a0ff046fcab5ee88da3323e3

Wait a minute, this lamp is a stack of teacups with a teapot on the base. Nevertheless, seems like something you’d find at Wes Anderson’s house or Lewis Carroll’s.

15. Now this lamp seems like a colorful flame dangling from the ceiling.

4f132d94318b649ac2b4b04abbfae31f

Man, I wonder how they made this one. Still, I have to admit even if it’s something that I wouldn’t want in my house, it’s still very cool.

16. I call this one a “lawn sprinkler” lamp. Wonder if it’s great for outdoor summer activities.

5

Now making a lamp out of a lawn sprinkler, how creative. Still, wonder how it would work if you uses for evening barbecues. Sure would like to see this.

17. Have a broken fan? Why don’t you make it into a lamp?

5cb7287d31c2b432a7a1c527acca2167

Of course, it might cool you off. But I’m sure it will help light a room. Besides, after making it into a lamp, you’ll only have to do some rewiring and throw out the blades.

18. Now this is a kind of lamp meant for the Space Age.

5fa34919046e81deffb646f1846f70c0

However, whether “Space Age” means science fiction or the 1950s or 1960s, I haven’t decided. It’s such a lamp that’s out of this world that you can’t even tell.

19. Now this ceiling lamp seems like it’s hanging with bunch of hangers.

6a00d834522c5069e20120a57b7938970b-500wi

Well, it’s actually made from a bunch of wooden hangers. Guess someone has more than they need in their closet.

20. For a more old fashioned country feel, I’m sure a lamp like this will suit your fancy.

6c83b8d77c5c2fdf04e989cdc767bcd4

Now this is made from an old milk tin and some braided rope. It looks quite rustic to say the least. Like it belongs in a barn.

21. Seems like this light bulb is hanging from a rope.

6d8ecb0084aae9df27942a29c4b6efd6

Of course, the wire is within the rope as you can see. But sometimes revealing it can ruin the effect. Nevertheless, it’s quite quaint.

22. For those with more tropical tastes, here are some tiki mask lamps to interest you.

6fc0d4a42e483937b01186947554aa16

I’m sure these masks are painted on. But for some reason, they look kind of cool. And in 3 different colors, too.

23. Looks like Thor got his hammer stuck in a wall again.

6fc2d68937a1638eb825323cc59b3f7c

Actually this is a wall lamp of Thor’s hammer. And yes, it’s supposed to look like Thor used it on a wall. Still, what Avengers fan wouldn’t want this?

24. Sometimes you might get the feeling that there being watched by giant eyeballs.

7-29-08-eyeball-lamps

Yes, I know an eyeball lamp is creepy. But such lamps do exist as you can see. Also available in green as far as I can tell.

25. Now I’ve heard of ceiling fan lamps and have a few in my home. Not sure what to make of this.

7d17b7bb7b0a5053be0f87fa8abdea61

This is a lamp with couple of electric fans. Now regular ceiling fans have blades that turn around the center. Not sure how this works.

26. Of course, you can make a lamp out of almost anything you find at the hardware store.

 

8ba8f9fea59891dedb32eb3616ddd9fa

As for these parts, I’m not sure if I’ve seen them in a hardware store in my life. The silver spiral thing looks more like a snail to me but I wonder if it’s some sort of pipe.

27. Now this lamp is made from an old washboard.

8dc16f086d13d16aec1d84f0c3000332

It’s something people used to wash clothes with before they had washing machines. It’s also used as an instrument for some bluegrass bands.

28. And you think this was used to warm the kettle.

8fc819e971747efb24739085cd5d4ce3

Now this looks like some Steampunk gizmo that I’m not sure even existed. Not sure if I’d even want it in the kitchen. Probably not.

29. For you geology buffs, I’m sure you might like this rock lamp hanging from your ceiling.

9a6afab5272adc574dd1928b14874f64

Of course, this is made of something that would’ve been used as a glass paperweight if it weren’t for the wire and the light bulb. Nevertheless, it looks pretty cool.

30. Now this lamp surely is all in pink and rich trimmings.

9e9e92c13a3ec8bd635a4828a4310a21

Now this looks like the kind of tacky lamp that you’d see at Downton Abbey. Then again, I’m not sure if any of the lamps there would have a base this one does.

31. Pipes may not be attractive, but you can fit wires through them.

9f0fd5ddd5ab78732dadd68e33e45400

Like how it’s on a base of some wood from a tree. Yes, I know it’s not the most attractive lamp, But you have to admire the craftsmanship.

32. Wonder if this lamp was used in a laboratory.

10e02025d6f36d48555c2a238b5881db

Now this looks like a lamp you’d find in Dr. Frankenstein’s laboratory. Might’ve used something like this to create his “monster” (which wasn’t really a monster). Nevertheless, it’s cool.

33. Seems like this lamp was made from a cheese grater and a colander.

10fd6957794326153ed315dc33b2c8a6

Now this look likes it was made from stuff you’d find at a junkyard. But I bet it brings in a lot of light to a room.

34. Of course, a great lamp base can be an old gas can.

12c3e13cc23798598d9a761a0d63a0a2

Not sure if that base goes with that lampshade. But from how I see it, it probably won’t go well in my living room. The basement may be a different story.

35. Now this is the kind of ceiling lamp that shows you the science of color.

13ec7a10ed1426e5403c254a8e2b2d50

Now this is a diagram about light and its combinations. Red and green make yellow. Blue and green make cyan. And red and blue make magenta. Put all 3 colors together and you get white.

36. Now this lamp seems to be as pretty as a peacock.

014d8024ca4aefa1d13ef4d32f12bfa9

Well, it’s a peacock lamp. And no, it’s not a recent design either. It’s probably from the early 20th century at the latest. But yes, it looks like a tacky lamp you’d find at the Dowager Countess’s living room.

37. Let’s hope that this lamp has all the right circuits.

18rcgykg8wxowjpg

Yes, the light bulbs are supposed to look like resistors in this. Still, probably more suited for a geekier household.

38. Seems like this lamp has a real spine.

29spinelamp

Of course, this lamp’s spine is actual vertebrae that ends with the pelvis. Still, it’s a lamp probably best suited for doctors, particularly chiropractors or orthopedists.

39. Of course, you wouldn’t guess that this lamp was made from an old muscle car headlight.

30fcbe526b07ddcc22c0d2d9466e9e87

Now this looks like a nice lamp. Could use a little shine and paint on it. But I like it.

40. This lamp switches on and off with the turn of a knob.

057e59c372d3341aa644203097f81975

Of course, it’s another one of those gear lamps. Then again, I’m not sure if the knob on the side is a switch after all.

41. Don’t know what it is but this lamp reminds me of a hot iron.

114ce4638d948b814f08e368feb3c546

Then again, it’s an iron made into a lamp. Still, the bulbs seem to have some resemblance of being on fire.

42. Not sure about you, but someone must think that pin seashells make great lampshades.

321c8536793eaf5b14e9ff9a25266c35

Of course, a seashell lampshade isn’t in my taste. To me, it looks like a tacky souvenir from the beach. Yet, since it’s unique, I’ll add it.

43. If your old fire extinguisher doesn’t work, make a lamp out of it.

577a06e1a5495924caca9d2721ec8534

Sure, it’s not an attractive lamp and might be quite heavy. But you have to admire this designer’s creativity with this.

44. Now this is known as a “Dragonfly Lamp.”

815c184dab2643fcd8d32beaf0dd6832

Now this is probably a Victorian lamp. Why they have a dragonfly one, I don’t know. Of course, the Victorians were as capable of tackiness as we are. Well, in some ways.

45. Of course, there’s no table lamp that has more bling like this one.

875bdadf5bf5caa4f0a20c8e8e6b9921

And I’m sure this lamp is delicate and doesn’t come cheap. Still, I’d really hate to clean and polish that thing. Really would hate it.

46. If you like marine, may I suggests some jellyfish lamps on your ceiling?

2016-Design-Lamp-Ideas

Nevertheless, even if they electrocute you if you’re not too careful, they’re much safer than real jellyfish. Let’s just say, jellyfish can be very poisonous and being stung by one will cause you unbearable agony.

47. This is a lamp from the 1950s whose style was inspired by the paintings of Piet Mondrian.

 

05771cdbbf7a8c4ef9414cc0a0507239

He was a Dutch painter whose artwork consisted of stuff like rectangles and squares in primary colors. Also, for a time in his life, he sported a Hitler style mustache in some photos.

48. If you want to get more with nature, I suppose this chandelier will suit your fancy.

6354b7953cea2ad5fccbe50e11460a82

Now this one consists of light bulbs on tree branches. Bound to scratch some heads of some people. And might make some think you’re a weirdo.

49. Now this gives a whole new meaning to the word, “snake light.”

21891fa2b5cfb429f4e8de01129a75c4

Now this isn’t a new lamp. But for some reason, I can totally see one of these at Lord Voldermort’s place. Maybe because it’s a snake lamp.

50. As for this lamp, I’d be careful handling that lampshade if I were you.

033582aecf6f6e977fe862d2f4a548d0

Yes, this is a very spiky lamp as you can see. Also, another lamp that you’d probably don’t want to clean for obvious reasons.

51. Heard of a projector light? Now see a projector lamp.

48188df855769dc905b95fd3338f2936

Yes, this is a projector lamp made with an actual projector. However, the projector seems to be used more or less as a base.

52. Of course, there are some freaky taxidermy lighting out there. This is a badger lamp.

447953b61eefefec3a61c26a635b9626

Wonder why in the hell would anyone make a lamp as freaky as this? Also, that’s really terrible taxidermy near the head. Not sure what to think of the badger here.

53. A lamp like this is guaranteed to help you spring into action.

650247ad91b678702ad616978b8df5a3

Yes, this is an actual spring lamp. Of course, it doesn’t make you think of baby animals and flowers. But nevertheless, it’s quite a springy lamp. Yet, one that reminds you of mattresses.

54. Of course, this lamp is bound to make an explosive impression.

1071911_nuke_lamp_1

Now this is a lamp of a nuclear mushroom. Certainly to make anyone nervous just looking at is strikes fear of total annihilation. Seriously, why the hell did anyone thinks it’s a good idea?

55. For many, a lamp like this is guaranteed to blow their minds.

a431_brain

Then again, there could be worse body part lamps than the brain. But still, unless you’re into this sort of thing, it’s kind of disgusting. Hope it doesn’t belong to a certain “Abby Normal.”

56. From what I read on Google Search, these are called “Moonwalk Lamps” reminiscent of Michael Jackson’s dance moves in the 1980s.

a431_moonwalk

I’m not a fan of Michael Jackson and usually don’t listen to his music. However, I think these lamps are very cool.

57. Of course, nothing gives you the feeling of the beach than a large seashell lamp like this.

e25732275dff6e0bcb96cfdb91108c3b

Then again, this one is exceptionally tacky with the bare breasted mermaid statue at the base. Still, this is a more outrageous example so it’s going in the post.

58. For some reason, you’d swear a lamp like this might have a mind of its own.

b4f96402fb15ff83a6f18d9cbfe95e0b

Now this lamp is made from wires and pipes with a light on its head. Yet, it’s shaped like a little pipe figure which is pretty adorable.

59. Looks like old Bessie got herself abducted by some extra terrestrials.

alien-abduction-lamp-ufo-lamps

Now this lamp of a cow getting kidnapped by aliens is pure genius. I hope that farmer has other cows before he gets to Bessie the next morning. Love it though.

60. Of course, this might the closest we could get to Aladdin’s magic lamp.

c15b4daa8b59c27adde7569668d6147e

Again, this is an old lamp. But it’s sure a fancy one. Still, I think it would be better without the big part coming from the gold part.

61. “Aaah! “Fra-GEE-leh!” It must be Italian!”

img-thing

Of course, I couldn’t do a post on this without including this famous leg lamp from A Christmas Story. This is the table lamp version. But at least the box looks like it’s from the movie.

62. Sometimes you can make an alien weapon with basically anything.

ceeb1e1fcd292ea5db6090b0485778cd

Yes, it’s a lamp made by some kitchen implements. But put them together, you either have a satellite or an alien laser death ray.

63. For those who like Space Age designs, here’s a rocket ship lamp.

cfb01f658744a125c3dd11dae8b4b548

Now I think this one is from the Atomic Age. But yeah, that rocket seems to appear as if it was straight out of a cartoon.

64. Seems like this guy is pretty busy on the ceiling.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I wonder if that’s supposed to be an astronaut doing a spacewalk. Because if you look closer, it sure looks like it.

65. At one angle, this wooden lamp looks as if it’s on fire.

diy-stacked-lamp-mike-warren-thumb

Of course, this is a perfectly safe lamp because it’s just a bulb inside. And the light is traveling inside it to give the illusion of fire.

66. An airship like this certainly lights up a room.

e0fa68d4eb3a2ca8e2e6ebebce44049c

Yes, this is another Steampunk lamp. But this one is an incredible ceiling one of a blimp that gives a blue light. That’s different.

67. Heard of an IV stand in hospitals. There’s a lamp of that.

a8a8a851f3b32a5dc75caba78d5b55d3

Now when I hear the term “medical arts” this will appear in my mind. Yes, it’s kind of freaky. But hey, it kind of looks easy to make.

68. Now you can turn this lamp as much as you please.

e49fe8e18003176c58e6bbee0ceaa583

As you can see, this lamp was made from a bicycle wheel. Nevertheless, I find it quite dazzling, especially with the lights emanating from all directions.

69. Of course, beautiful things come when your lamp is a stained glass violin.

f39a5086b895fe7f86e4a59583659c15

Not sure whether the violin is real. But I do like the artwork depicting birds and roses on this. Quite lovely to say the least.

70. When you look at these lamps, you could’ve sworn they were made of mineral crystals.

 

creative-lamps-pixel-2

Of course, they’re probably made from those stretchy things you find at as store and made to look like crystals. But the effect is awesome just the same.

71. Of course, this lamp dog just had to relieve himself.

good-puppy-lamp-whatshisname-1

Yes, this is a lamp depicting a dog taking a dump. Yes, I think this one might exist though I wouldn’t recommend you buy it. Still, unusual as it is and hilarious, it goes on this post.

72. Those in the mood for colorful candy fun will sure enjoy some gummi bear lamps.

gummi-lamps

Yes, these a cute gummi bear lamps as you see here. No, they aren’t edible and are probably much bigger than real gummi bears. But yes, they’re cute.

73. Sometimes you’d wonder what it would be like to have a lit noose hanging from your ceiling.

noose-hanging-lamp

Of course, having a lamp like this might lead your loved ones to call some local psychiatrist or suicidal hotline. Yeah, that’s in very poor taste. Very poor taste, indeed.

74. Fans of Super Mario Bros. will certainly love a pipe lamp like this.

il_570xN.457383200_bk4r

Wonder if this lamp plays the song to Super Mario Bros. Then again, that game’s music was pretty annoying, anyway. But quite catchy.

75. Of course, some lamps don’t always come in great aesthetic taste. Like this poop lamp here.

poop_lamp_1

I think this might be a real thing. And comes in a can. Still, if your real poop glows in the dark, you might want to see a doctor.

76. Now these are called, “Slap It Lamps.”

slap-it-lamps

Yes, these are butt lamps and they come in so many different colors. I know this is tasteless and crude but these kinds of pictures help my blog. Also, they’re funny.

77. Now this Darth Vader lamp seems to find your lack of light disturbing.

 

weird-lamps1

Then again, Darth Vader is squarely on the Dark Side for most of the original trilogy. Also, he’s responsible for killing millions of people. So I think this lamp really doesn’t do him justice.

78. Of course, a bread lamp might help you see your dinner better.

o-BREAD-LAMPS-570

Of course, these lamps aren’t edible to say the least. But they sure look great in that bread basket.

79. Sure it’s not in the best of taste. But your hangman lamp would sure make a great conversation piece.

weird-lamps6

Now this is just crazy to say the least. Not to mention, inappropriate on so many levels since it features somebody getting killed. Still, it does look easy to make to say the least.

80. Now this squid chandelier might go well with your jellyfish lamps quite nicely.

zLf13JR

Now they make quite a few of these. However, I wonder if the Detroit Redwings have a chandelier like this in their dining hall. I mean their mascot is a giant purple octopus.

 

Rally Around the Flag – Or Not

Collection-national-flags

You might remember me talking about the US Flag in my “How to Treat an American Flag” article a I posted earlier this year. Or you might’ve read my longer and more serious article of why the Confederate Flag should be removed as well as debunked the most common claims of keeping it around. However, this is a post about flags, because after all they’re quite important emblems of certain groups and entities whether they be countries, states, provinces, cities, or what not. Thus, in many ways they tend to be symbols. A well designed flag will inspire pride than one made otherwise. There’s also a study of flag design called Vexillology and people in this field believe that a well-designed flag should fit these criteria (from the Portland Flag Association).

  1. Keep It Simple. The flag should be so simple that a child can draw it from memory…
  2. Use Meaningful Symbolism. The flag’s images, colors, or patterns should relate to what it symbolizes…
  3. Use 2 or 3 Basic Colors. Limit the number of colors on the flag to three which contrast well and come from the standard color set…
  4. No Lettering or Seals. Never use writing on any kind or an organization’s seal…
  5. Be Distinctive or Be Related. Avoid duplicating other flags, but use similarities to show connections…

Now I can go on and on about all the great flags out there. But you’d be bored to tears sh I’ll show you a collection of designs that made people wonder, what the hell they were thinking? Because when you have great flags inspiring patriotism and pride, there are others that lead people to keep them as far away from the public spotlight as possible. So for your reading pleasure, here are some not so great flags from around the world. By the way, if I insult anyone’s flag, I deeply apologize.

1. Venice, Italy

Granted, this was derived from the old flag of the Venice Republic. But still, while the winged lion with a book is actually cool, it's surrounded by too many border designs. Also, on the borders are 7 tiny little flags or coats of arms. I can't tell. I'd more or less expect such design to be on a box for a D&D game.

Granted, this was derived from the old flag of the Venice Republic. But still, while the winged lion with a book is actually cool, it’s surrounded by too many border designs. Also, on the borders are 7 tiny little flags or coats of arms. I can’t tell. I’d more or less expect such design to be on a box for a D&D game.

2. Chimbu, Papua New Guinea

Now I think the stars and the bird are fine. But with the crossed branches over a circle? I think the province is kind of overdoing it. A plain green sash would've been fine. Really.

Now I think the stars and the bird are fine. But with the crossed branches over a circle? I think the province is kind of overdoing it. A plain green sash would’ve been fine. Really.

3. Saint-Pierre and Miquelon, Canada

This is a tiny island territory off the coast of Newfoundland. The three  flags on the left are supposed to represent the Basques, Bretons, and Normans. However, the boat seems to be drawn straight from a Saturday morning cartoon. Or an educational cartoon about Christopher Columbus from the 1970s.

This is a tiny island territory off the coast of Newfoundland. The three flags on the left are supposed to represent the Basques, Bretons, and Normans. However, the boat seems to be drawn straight from a Saturday morning cartoon. Or an educational cartoon about Christopher Columbus from the 1970s.

4. Louisiana, United States

For one, the comma is missing between,

For one, the comma is missing between, “union and “justice.” However, while the image appears initially wholesome of a mother pelican feeding her babies, it gets quite disturbing when you realize that she’s feeding them with her own blood. Yikes! Seriously, what’s the matter with you, Louisiana? And those drops of blood were only added in 2006. Really.

5. Ishikawa, Japan

Apparently, Japanese Kanji doesn't translate well into certain fonts. From looking at this, Americans might get the impression that Ishikawa is an obscure  Japanese auto corporation instead of  a civic entity that it really is.

Apparently, Japanese Kanji doesn’t translate well into certain fonts. From looking at this, Americans might get the impression that Ishikawa is an obscure Japanese auto corporation instead of a civic entity that it really is.

6. Nunatsiavut, Labrador, Canada

Now this is for a homeland in northern Labrador in Canada. The symbol is supposed to be derived in Inukshuk origin. However, to many it resembles an abstract art rendition of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. Must give a lot of Inuk children nightmares.

Now this is for a homeland in northern Labrador in Canada. The symbol is supposed to be derived in Inukshuk origin. However, to many it resembles an abstract art rendition of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. Must give a lot of Inuk children nightmares.

7. Glarus, Switzerland

Now this consists of a frowning monk with a halo, a staff resembling an antenna, and a book all in yellow. Guess this guy's frowning due to his inability to bring the word of God to the extraterrestrials.

Now this consists of a frowning monk with a halo, a staff resembling an antenna, and a book all in yellow. Guess this guy’s frowning due to his inability to bring the word of God to the extraterrestrials.

8. Marijampole, Lithuania

I know the guy is supposed to be sowing seeds, but I can't help but look at this and get the impression of the Quaker Oats guy throwing out Rice Krispies. Also, the border does little to give this flag any dignity whatsoever.

I know the guy is supposed to be sowing seeds, but I can’t help but look at this and get the impression of the Quaker Oats guy throwing out Rice Krispies. Also, the border does little to give this flag any dignity whatsoever.

9. Connacht, Ireland

Guess the inspiration for this one was a major disagreement between whether the a black eagle or an arm with sword would be more badass. The factions settled on a compromise and got this. Yeah, should've went with one or the other.

Guess the inspiration for this one was a major disagreement between whether the a black eagle or an arm with sword would be more badass. The factions settled on a compromise and got this. Yeah, should’ve went with one or the other.

10. Buddhism

For one, Buddhism has a flag? Secondly, this resembles a TV test pattern that's usually accompanied by a high pitched beep at 4 a.m. But I'm sure the designer didn't know that.

For one, Buddhism has a flag? Secondly, this resembles a TV test pattern that’s usually accompanied by a high pitched beep at 4 a.m. But I’m sure the designer didn’t know that.

11. Benin Empire

Now this was the flag for the Pre-Colonial Benin Empire situated in modern Nigeria which lasted from 1440-1897. From looking at this flag I guess their motto was,

Now this was the flag for the Pre-Colonial Benin Empire situated in modern Nigeria which lasted from 1440-1897. From looking at this flag I guess their motto was, “Get in my personal space and I’ll cut your bloody head off!” Yeah, decapitation is just a wonderful flag motif.

12. Guam, United States

Think of it as a cross between a cheap souvenir T-shirt from the Bahamas and a Georgia O'Keefe painting.  Now imagine if such combination was drawn by a third grader. Sorry, Guam, but your flag is just ugly.

Think of it as a cross between a cheap souvenir T-shirt from the Bahamas and a Georgia O’Keefe painting. Now imagine if such combination was drawn by a third grader. Sorry, Guam, but your flag is just ugly.

13. Fryslan, the Netherlands

For some reason, I can't help looking at this flag and imagine it being a pattern on somebody's underwear. I just don't know why.

For some reason, I can’t help looking at this flag and imagine it being a pattern on somebody’s underwear. I just don’t know why.

14. Isle of Man, Great Britain

It's said that the three-legged triskelion was a symbol in Mycenae and Lycia back in Ancient Greece. However, I think it's rather creepy as hell if you ask me. Three detached legs with no body doesn't look right to me for some reason.

It’s said that the three-legged triskelion was a symbol in Mycenae and Lycia back in Ancient Greece. However, I think it’s rather creepy as hell if you ask me. Three detached legs with no body doesn’t look right to me for some reason.

15. Antwerp, Belgium

Either this is a closeup image from MS Paint or a NASCAR flag on acid. Any way you put it, it's quite horrendous if you get my drift.

Either this is a closeup image from MS Paint or a NASCAR flag on acid. Any way you put it, it’s quite horrendous if you get my drift.

16. Mozambique

Now the hoe and the book convey the best interests Mozambique wants for its people. But an AK-47? Could you imagine anything worse than that on a flag for an African nation? Seriously, why?

Now the hoe and the book convey the best interests Mozambique wants for its people. But an AK-47? Could you imagine anything worse than that on a flag for an African nation? Seriously, why?

17. Swaziland

While the colors schemes are fine, I'm not sure about the weapons. Yes, shields and spears are part of that country's traditional African culture, but still. Having weapons on your flag kind of sends the wrong message. And given the highly negative stereotypes about Africa, Swaziland ought to know better.

While the colors schemes are fine, I’m not sure about the weapons. Yes, shields and spears are part of that country’s traditional African culture, but still. Having weapons on your flag kind of sends the wrong message. And given the highly negative stereotypes about Africa, Swaziland ought to know better.

18. Northern Marianas Islands, United States

Well, there's at least someone in the Northern Marianas Island who knows how to use a computer. Unfortunately, the inhabitants didn't realize that designing a flag from clip art isn't a great idea.

Well, there’s at least someone in the Northern Marianas Island who knows how to use a computer. Unfortunately, the inhabitants didn’t realize that designing a flag from clip art isn’t a great idea.

19. U. S. Virgin Islands, United States

Now I have to admit, this flag would look great as a design for a license plate. But as an actual flag? Not so much. Also, I'm sure that eagle emblem came straight out of clip art.

Now I have to admit, this flag would look great as a design for a license plate. But as an actual flag? Not so much. Also, I’m sure that eagle emblem came straight out of clip art.

20. Lombardy, Italy

No, this isn't a flag from Comic Con or for a video game competition. It's from a region in Italy that probably invented jacks or the paperweight. If neither, then I'm not sure why they'd design their flag that way.

No, this isn’t a flag from Comic Con or for a video game competition. It’s from a region in Italy that probably invented jacks or the paperweight. If neither, then I’m not sure why they’d design their flag that way.

21. Antarctica

Yes, Antarctica has a flag. It has no inhabitants, no government, and no culture. But it has a flag with its landmass on it. Should've went with a penguin instead.

Yes, Antarctica has a flag. It has no inhabitants, no government, and no culture. But it has a flag with its landmass on it. Should’ve went with a penguin instead.

22. Bermuda

Hmmm....a flag with a picture of a lion holding a picture of a shipwreck mid-plunge. Granted, it was discovered this way by a ship en route to Virginia. Kind of suggests that self-governance isn't Bermuda's strong suit. As for me, Bermuda should've used a flag depicting a pair of Bermuda shorts.

Hmmm….a flag with a picture of a lion holding a picture of a shipwreck mid-plunge. Granted, it was discovered this way by a ship en route to Virginia. Kind of suggests that self-governance isn’t Bermuda’s strong suit. As for me, Bermuda should’ve used a flag depicting a pair of Bermuda shorts.

23. Alo Island, Wallis and Futuna, France

Basically this is for a French territory in the South Pacific. It also commemorates the murder of Catholic missionary Father Chanel who was savagely clubbed and axed to death by natives in the 19th century. To be fair, I can see why the natives didn't care for colonialism and the cultural loss it entails. However, I'm not sure that a savage murder of a priest should really be a historic event a South Pacific island should take pride in. Even if the priest was a complete asshole. Also the style resembles MS Paint.

Basically this is for a French territory in the South Pacific. It also commemorates the murder of Catholic missionary Father Chanel who was savagely clubbed and axed to death by natives in the 19th century. To be fair, I can see why the natives didn’t care for colonialism and the cultural loss it entails. However, I’m not sure that a savage murder of a priest should really be a historic event a South Pacific island should take pride in. Even if the priest was a complete asshole. Also the style resembles MS Paint.

24. Cardiff, Wales, Great Britain

Hmmm....dragon dancing around a leek. Guess the badass dragon flag of Wales was already taken. Still, dragon flag dancing with a flowering wild onion? Is there anything more lame?

Hmmm….dragon dancing around a leek. Guess the badass dragon flag of Wales was already taken. Still, dragon flag dancing with a flowering wild onion? Is there anything more stupid for a flag emblem?

25. Brown County, Nebraska, United States

As Bad Flags would say:

As Bad Flags would say: ” this flag seems to have been designed by a 3rd grader with severe astygmatism using Microsoft Paint circa 1995.” Yeah, I’m sure it has about the kind of artistic merit you’d see in a local commercial.

26. Drnis, Croatia

This flag is supposed to be of the shepherd Saint Roch with a leg wound. Beside him is a dog with a loaf of bread in its mouth. According to legend it's said that Saint Roch cut his leg from a rock so he could feed the dog. But the dog found bread instead. What the significance of that event is to an obscure town in Croatia I'll never know. Also, the guy seems to be licking the staff.

This flag is supposed to be of the shepherd Saint Roch with a leg wound. Beside him is a dog with a loaf of bread in its mouth. According to legend it’s said that Saint Roch cut his leg from a rock so he could feed the dog. But the dog found bread instead. What the significance of that event is to an obscure town in Croatia I’ll never know. Also, the guy seems to be licking the staff.

27. Oceanside, California, United States

Seems more appropriate for a tourist advertisement than a city flag. Seriously, I could easily see it on their brochures, if not T-shirts.

Seems more appropriate for a tourist advertisement than a city flag. Seriously, I could easily see it on their brochures, if not T-shirts.

28. Vina del Mar, Chile

Yes, this is an actual flag. No, it's not a beach towel design. But I suppose this place probably has its flag on souvenir beach towels as well.

Yes, this is an actual flag. No, it’s not a beach towel design. But I suppose this place probably has its flag on souvenir beach towels as well.

29. Rome, Italy

Seems like Rome tends to be in agreement with the Cleveland Browns as far as color schemes go. Still, if you're doing a two color flag, at least pick better colors. And no, brown shouldn't be one of them.

Seems like Rome tends to be in agreement with the Cleveland Browns as far as color schemes go. Still, if you’re doing a two color flag, at least pick better colors. And no, brown shouldn’t be one of them.

30. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States

Now this flag is actually quite decent. However, that doesn't explain the presence of the disembodied arm holding the scales. Seriously, that's fucked up. Yeah, kind of an example in which one weird detail can mess up everything.

Now this flag is actually quite decent. However, that doesn’t explain the presence of the disembodied arm holding the scales. Seriously, that’s fucked up. Yeah, kind of an example in which one weird detail can mess up everything.

31. Provo, Utah, United States

Seem this flag makes Provo look like some obscure corporation that sells camera equipment, vitamins, or chemicals. Fortunately, their city council saw the light and unanimously approved a new design this year.

Seem this flag makes Provo look like some obscure corporation that sells camera equipment, vitamins, or chemicals. Fortunately, their city council saw the light and unanimously approved a new design this year.

32. Siauliai, Lithuania

Now I'm fine with the horned bull an the ferocious bear. But I'm not so sure about the eye pyramid. Might draw in a great many conspiracy theorists, especially those who talk about the Illuminati.

Now I’m fine with the horned bull an the ferocious bear. But I’m not so sure about the eye pyramid. Might draw in a great many conspiracy theorists, especially those who talk about the Illuminati.

33. Belgrade, Serbia

Hate to break it to you, Belgrade. But your flag gives us the impression that your waterways are full of blood. It's kind of terrifying to think about that.

Hate to break it to you, Belgrade. But your flag gives us the impression that your waterways are full of blood. It’s kind of terrifying to think about that.

34. Irkutsk, Russia

Look, Irkutsk, I know that animal predation is a normal part of nature. But that doesn't mean that a predator with an animal carcass in its mouth makes a great flag motif. Seriously, why?

Look, Irkutsk, I know that animal predation is a normal part of nature. But that doesn’t mean that a predator with an animal carcass in its mouth makes a great flag motif. Seriously, why?

35. Ibiza, Spain

Reminds me of a map from a 1990s video game. Particularly one developed with the magic of MS paint.

Reminds me of a map from a 1990s video game. Particularly one developed with the magic of MS paint. Also, the stripes are too much here.

36. Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Seems like Calgary can't seem to tell the difference between what makes an appropriate flag motif and what makes an appropriate sports logo. And when I see this, I think of some college football team in Texas for some reason.

Seems like Calgary can’t seem to tell the difference between what makes an appropriate flag motif and what makes an appropriate sports logo. And when I see this, I think of some college football team in Texas for some reason, not a Canadian city.

37. Mississippi, United States

That banner in the corner  is said to represent a time in Mississippi when was the state with the  most millionaires (which was around 1860). Of course, anyone familiar with US race relations and history can explain why. It's also used as a symbol for white supremacy through any means necessary, even terrorism or secession from the union just to keep black people in a state of uncompensated involuntary servitude.

That banner in the corner is said to represent a time in Mississippi when was the state with the most millionaires (which was around 1860). Of course, anyone familiar with US race relations and history can explain why. It’s also used as a symbol for white supremacy through any means necessary, even terrorism or secession from the union just to keep black people in a state of uncompensated involuntary servitude.

38. Virginia, United States

Let's see. This flag seems to symbolize Virginia's victory over the Brits in the American Revolution.  Of course, I'm not sure why they'd include a woman with an exposed breast killing a crowned guy in a purple outfit. I mean violence and partial nudity aren't stuff you'd want on a flag.

Let’s see. This flag seems to symbolize Virginia’s victory over the Brits in the American Revolution. Of course, I’m not sure why they’d include a woman with an exposed breast killing a crowned guy in a purple outfit. I mean violence and partial nudity aren’t stuff you’d want on a flag.

39. Asku, Kazakhstan

Seems like a more appropriate flag for someone like Jadis, the White Witch or for someone off Game of Thrones. Yeah, that's the most intimidating snowbird I've ever seen.

Seems like a more appropriate flag for someone like Jadis, the White Witch or for someone off Game of Thrones. Yeah, that’s the most intimidating snowbird I’ve ever seen.

40. Hanover Park, Chicago, Illinois, United States

This flag is for a neighborhood in Chicago.  From Bad Flags:

This flag is for a neighborhood in Chicago. From Bad Flags: “Hanover Park is home to the world’s strongest man, who can lift a pyramid of eight stick figures above his head.” Also, the logo looks as if it was taken straight out of non-profit organization designed to reach out to economically disadvantaged kids.

41. Herimoncourt, Doubs, Franche-Comte, France

So I guess the badass bat logo was already taken by Batman, no less. Still, the place should've used a better font than Times New Roman. Seriously, a creepier font might do a better job attracting tourists.

So I guess the badass bat logo was already taken by Batman, no less. Still, the place should’ve used a better font than Times New Roman. Seriously, a creepier font might do a better job attracting tourists.

42. Hezbollah

If I was a member of this Shitte paramilitary organization in Lebanon, I'd be embarrassed to have a flag like this. Now I can understand the hand holding an AK-47. But I don't think what's left of the arm resembles anything of a minaret or a rocket  to me. To be discreet here, you might want to call a focus group.

If I was a member of this Shitte paramilitary organization in Lebanon, I’d be embarrassed to have a flag like this. Now I can understand the hand holding an AK-47. But I don’t think what’s left of the arm resembles anything of a minaret or a rocket to me. To be discreet here, you might want to call a focus group.

43. Greene County, Ohio, United States

“Dammit, Orville, watch out for that clock tower.” Seriously, this flag looks like it was designed from the computer program my mom uses to make birthday cards. That clock tower is totally clip art for sure.

44. Greene County, Virginia, United States

I swear this flag's insignia was probably designed by the same person who did the Mr. Yuck sticker. Well, at least the border anyway.  Still, it was probably designed on the back of a cocktail napkin anyway.

I swear this flag’s insignia was probably designed by the same person who did the Mr. Yuck sticker. Well, at least the border anyway. Still, it was probably designed on the back of a cocktail napkin anyway.

45. Irribarren, Venezuela

There's a better way to mix royalty, grayscale, caution symbols, and shark attacks. But this isn't it. Not sure what's that thing in the bottom middle. Wonder who could design a mess like this?

There’s a better way to mix royalty, grayscale, caution symbols, and shark attacks. But this isn’t it. Not sure what’s that thing in the bottom middle. Wonder who could design a mess like this?

46. Yap, Micronesia

That's supposed to resemble a canoe with a sail unfurled, carrying a large Rai. However, to me it looks like a circle with a jet pilot helmet they use in the military.

That’s supposed to resemble a canoe with a sail unfurled, carrying a large Rai. However, to me it looks like a circle with a jet pilot helmet they use in the military.

47. Jainism

Now Jainism is an ancient religion in India which has its own monks, teachers, scriptures, and souls. However, while the color scheme and some of the symbols are nice, there's just one little point of contention. Let's just say two decades of putzes wearing armbands in Germany can taint this flag's 1,000 year legacy forever. Sorry that Nazism and WWII have to ruin everything for you, Jains.

Now Jainism is an ancient religion in India which has its own monks, teachers, scriptures, and souls. However, while the color scheme and some of the symbols are nice, there’s just one little point of contention. Let’s just say two decades of putzes wearing armbands in Germany can taint this flag’s 1,000 year legacy forever. Sorry that Nazism and WWII have to ruin everything for you, Jains.

48. Baie-James, Quebec, Canada

Since when does a city in Canada think that having Hedwig electrocuted would make a great design for a flag? Really, that just makes Harry Potter cry. Also, the set up looks like it's straight from a tourist ad or brochure.

Since when does a city in Canada think that having Hedwig electrocuted would make a great design for a flag? Really, that just makes Harry Potter cry. Also, the set up looks like it’s straight from a tourist ad or brochure.

49. Kvalsund, Norway

Seems like the fish up there are very into 3 way make out sessions. Still, who would've thought that Norwegians were tri-sexual pescatarians? Yeah, that's pretty messed up.

Seems like the fish up there are very into 3 way make out sessions. Still, who would’ve thought that Norwegians were tri-sexual pescatarians? Yeah, that’s pretty messed up.

50. Kyrgyzstan

Seems the national symbol for this country is a radiating tennis ball. Oh, it's said to represent a yurt. Doesn't look like one to me.

Seems the national symbol for this country is a giant flaming tennis ball in the sky. Oh, it’s said to represent a yurt. Doesn’t look like one to me. More like an appropriate logo for Serena Williams.

51. Libya (1977-2011)

I'm sure the government of Libya wanted something fancier. But Muammar Ghadafi insisted that the country's flag match his palace drapes. Seriously, Libya has an amazing history and all they could come up with was a green sheet! Oh, wait, I've heard they might've changed it a few years ago.

I’m sure the government of Libya wanted something fancier. But Moamar Gaddafi insisted that the country’s flag match his palace drapes. Seriously, Libya has an amazing history and all they could come up with was a green sheet! Oh, wait, I’ve heard they might’ve changed it a few years ago.

52. Jekabpils, Latvia

Wonder what that lynx is doing under this tree. Probably going about its business. By the way, do they even have lynxes in Latvia? I think they do. But I've always seen them as a primarily North American feline though.

Wonder what that lynx is doing under this tree. Probably going about its business. By the way, do they even have lynxes in Latvia? I think they do. But I’ve always seen them as a primarily North American feline though.

53. Masoy, Finmark, Norway

I understand the hammer and sickle were already taken. But seriously, a halapik? As Bad Flags says: " It’s an ingenious creation meant to bring total destruction to the wicked baby seal at the business end. As both a bludgenoning tool to smash the seal’s sull and and hacking tool, to drag away the freshly killed cottony soft carcass, you kill two birds (or one innocent infant seal) with one blow." Seriously, a baby seal bludgeoning and ripping tool. Real nice. Maybe they should redesign it with something less medieval and less controversial. Let's not glorify baby seal killing shall we?

I understand the hammer and sickle were already taken. But seriously, a halapik? As Bad Flags says: ” It’s an ingenious creation meant to bring total destruction to the wicked baby seal at the business end. As both a bludgenoning tool to smash the seal’s sull and and hacking tool, to drag away the freshly killed cottony soft carcass, you kill two birds (or one innocent infant seal) with one blow.” Seriously, a baby seal bludgeoning and ripping tool. Real nice. Maybe they should redesign it with something less medieval weaponish and less controversial. Let’s not glorify baby seal killing shall we?

54. Matruh, Egypt

It's supposed to be a goat, which might be cool to some. But I'm not sure it's a flag worthy creature. Also, seems to be running way from a yellow brick wall.

It’s supposed to be a goat, which might be cool to some. But I’m not sure it’s a flag worthy creature. Also, seems to be running way from a yellow brick wall.

55. Mauensee, Lucerne, Switzerland

Now I've heard of flying fish. But I'm kind of sure they don't have feathers. Is it supposed to be an angel fish? If not, then why the hell does this fish have feathered wings?

Now I’ve heard of flying fish. But I’m kind of sure they don’t have feathers. Is it supposed to be an angel fish? If not, then why the hell does this fish have feathered wings?

56. Mont-Laureir, Quebec, Canada

Hate to say this but this looks more like a logo for a 1980s computer company nobody has heard about since. Seriously, I think I saw such similar imagery on hospital buildings or corporate headquarters.

Hate to say this but this looks more like a logo for a 1980s computer company nobody has heard about since. Seriously, I think I saw such similar imagery on hospital buildings or corporate headquarters.

57. Penza Oblast, Russia

Seems like this obscure area in Russia seems to be a fan of resting bitchface Jesus about to overturn changing tables in the Temple of Jerusalem. Not a great example of Russian Orthodox iconography.

Seems like this obscure area in Russia seems to be a fan of resting bitchface Jesus about to overturn changing tables in the Temple of Jerusalem. Not a great example of Russian Orthodox iconography.

58. Inglewood, California, United States

Now this centennial flag doesn't really resemble something you'd fly at city hall. Rather, it resembles some agricultural company logo celebrating its anniversary. Seriously, photoshop? Why?

Now this centennial flag doesn’t really resemble something you’d fly at city hall. Rather, it resembles some agricultural company logo celebrating its anniversary. Seriously, photoshop? Why?

59. Poperinge, Belgium

I guess this place is really into artichokes. Or are those hops or Brussels sprouts? Perhaps they're turtles or cockroaches. Wouldn't see why any place would want to put such designs on its flag.

I guess this place is really into artichokes. Or are those hops or Brussels sprouts? Perhaps they’re turtles or cockroaches. Wouldn’t see why any place would want to put such designs on its flag.

60. Sicily, Italy

Now what's freakier than a flag with 3 disembodied legs? Well, a flag with 3 disembodied leg triskelion and a face on it. Add 3 stalks of wheat and a pair of wings coming out as well. Now that's what I called freaky. Yeah, wonder what the Sicily's flag designer was on when he came up with that idea.

Now what’s freakier than a flag with 3 disembodied legs? Well, a flag with 3 disembodied leg triskelion and a face on it. Add 3 stalks of wheat and a pair of wings coming out as well. Now that’s what I called freaky. Yeah, wonder what the Sicily’s flag designer was on when he came up with that idea.

61. Southland, New Zealand

This doesn't look like a flag motif at all. The setup seems to resemble the kind of motivational posters you'd see in a school library. More like, "Enjoy the adventure of reading" type of message there.

This doesn’t look like a flag motif at all. The setup seems to resemble the kind of motivational posters you’d see in a school library. More like, “Enjoy the adventure of reading” type of message there.

62. Ulan Bator, Mongolia

Now this is supposed to be an anthropomorphic Garuda bird, a mythological creature in Buddhism. However, to me, this is one really ugly flying monkey. He also seems a bit tubby, no offense.

Now this is supposed to be an anthropomorphic Garuda bird, a mythological creature in Buddhism. However, to me, this is one really ugly flying monkey. He also seems a bit tubby, no offense.

63. St. Moritz, Switerland

Now this is supposed to be Saint Mauritius, a Roman soldier from the 3rd century who refused to kill Christians at the behest of Emperor Maximilian. Thus, he and his legion were martyred. Still, as Bad Flags put it: "It looks like a tribute to the first  Swedish knight with a pageboy haircut to walk on the moon." Yeah, pretty cartoonish if you ask me.

Now this is supposed to be Saint Mauritius, a Roman soldier from the 3rd century who refused to kill Christians at the behest of Emperor Maximilian. Thus, he and his legion were martyred. Still, as Bad Flags put it: “It looks like a tribute to the first Swedish knight with a pageboy haircut to walk on the moon.” Yeah, pretty cartoonish if you ask me.

64. Szabolcs-Szatmar-Bereg, Hungary

Well, aside from the airmail envelope border, there seems to be a lot of crap on this flag. Guess one place wanted a flag that symbolized the most stuff. Still, it's quite a bit overboard to say the least.

Well, aside from the airmail envelope border, there seems to be a lot of crap on this flag. Guess one place wanted a flag that symbolized the most stuff. Still, it’s quite a bit overboard to say the least.

65. Long Beach, Mississippi, United States

To be fair, this Gulf Coast city has been through a lot of crap like Hurricane Katrina and the Deepwaer Horizon oil spill. However, it's known for growing radishes. Yet, what they have here resembles purple carrots. Oh, wait they actually grew radishes like that? Now I feel bad. Still, from that insignia, they seem to be desperate for tourists.

To be fair, this Gulf Coast city has been through a lot of crap like Hurricane Katrina and the Deepwaer Horizon oil spill. However, it’s known for growing radishes. Yet, what they have here resembles purple carrots. Oh, wait they actually grew radishes like that? Now I feel bad. Still, from that insignia, they seem to be desperate for tourists.

66. Wallonia, Belgium

Now Walloons have a deep reverence for the French Chanticleer rooster, which is from a children's fable. It's said to appear in a movie called Rock-a-Doodle. Yeah, not something you'd want on a flag. You can see why many emblems tend to have eagles on them. Eagles are cool. Chickens not so much.

Now Walloons have a deep reverence for the French Chanticleer rooster, which is from a children’s fable. It’s said to appear in a movie called Rock-a-Doodle. Yeah, not something you’d want on a flag. You can see why many emblems tend to have eagles on them. Eagles are cool. Chickens not so much.

67. Yaroslavl Oblast, Russia

Jesus Christ, a bear with an halberd. Only a matter of time until he learns to use an AK-47 which is a Russian built. Also, it's newly bipedal with oppose able thumbs.  Yeah, Russian outdoors people might want to stay away from bears bearing medieval weaponry.

Jesus Christ, a bear with an halberd. Only a matter of time until he learns to use an AK-47 which is a Russian built. Also, it’s newly bipedal with oppose able thumbs. Yeah, Russian outdoors people might want to stay away from bears bearing medieval weaponry.

68. Georgia

This was the state flag of Georgia from the 1950s to 2001. Its reason to have a Confederate flag on its emblem stems from the racist white legislators trying to send a message against desegregation. Luckily, it was replaced with a less racist design in 2001.

This was the state flag of Georgia from the 1950s to 2001. Its reason to have a Confederate flag on its emblem stems from the racist white legislators trying to send a message against desegregation. Luckily, it was replaced with a less racist design in 2001.

69. Orange County, California, United States

Seems like a more appropriate logo for a company that grows oranges. And I sure as hell wouldn't think California as an appropriate place to grow them this time of year. Especially since the state's in  drought. Nevertheless, Orange County is a rich person's area that sometimes tends to hoard water for themselves and their golf courses. What a waste.

Seems like a more appropriate logo for a company that grows oranges. And I sure as hell wouldn’t think California as an appropriate place to grow them this time of year. Especially since the state’s in drought. Nevertheless, Orange County is a rich person’s area that sometimes tends to hoard water for themselves and their golf courses. What a waste.

70. Chiapas, Mexico

From Bad Flags: "The center seal tells the story of two lion lovers. The first lion, Eduardo, lives in the palace. The other lion, Timoteo, is stuck on the other side of a rushing river from his love. A deep chasm keeps apart their love. One day, as Eduardo uses his castle as a scratching post, Timoteo gets an idea. If he scratched that palm tree enough, he may be able to break it down and bridge the gap and run to his lover’s open paws. Unfortunately, the tree is just a little short, and Timoteo plunges to his untimely death." Now that's a horrible story. Still, please let it be a joke. Seriously, why would a place in Mexico want a flag depicting such events is beyond me.

From Bad Flags: “The center seal tells the story of two lion lovers. The first lion, Eduardo, lives in the palace. The other lion, Timoteo, is stuck on the other side of a rushing river from his love. A deep chasm keeps apart their love. One day, as Eduardo uses his castle as a scratching post, Timoteo gets an idea. If he scratched that palm tree enough, he may be able to break it down and bridge the gap and run to his lover’s open paws. Unfortunately, the tree is just a little short, and Timoteo plunges to his untimely death.” Now that’s a horrible story. Still, please let it be a joke. Seriously, why would a place in Mexico want a flag depicting such events is beyond me.

71. Perm, Russia

Pretty sure I won't trust a bear on a book. This is especially the case when the book is most likely the Bible in question. Of course, it's pretty obvious that's the book in question on this flag.

Pretty sure I won’t trust a bear on a book. This is especially the case when the book is most likely the Bible in question. Of course, it’s pretty obvious that’s the book in question on this flag.

72. Greenburgh, New York, United States

Motto is either "Who wants chili?" or "Eye of newt and tongue of shrew, feast your eyes on this witches' brew." Uh, let's hope it's just chili.

Motto is either “Who wants chili?” or “Eye of newt and tongue of shrew, feast your eyes on this witches’ brew.” Uh, let’s hope it’s just chili.

73. Afar Revolutionary Democratic Unity Front

This is a revolutionary movement at the Horn of Africa seeking to unite Somalia, Ethiopia, Eritrea, and Djbouti under the gun and torch. Yeah, doesn't seem democratic to me either. Seriously, with an AK-47 what do you expect me to think?

This is a revolutionary movement at the Horn of Africa seeking to unite Somalia, Ethiopia, Eritrea, and Djbouti under the gun and torch. Yeah, doesn’t seem democratic to me either. Seriously, with an AK-47 what do you expect me to think of these guys? Possible terrorists?

74. Tierra del Fuego, Argentina

Now the place name translates to "Land of Fire." However, it's actually a pretty cold place and one of the southernmost inhabited areas in the world. Still, doesn't make me understand why part of the flag is tangerine and includes a seagull. Yeah, a bird that can be found practically anywhere even in a parking lot in Southwestern Pennsylvania. Also, looks like it was designed by a 7 year old.

Now the place name translates to “Land of Fire.” However, it’s actually a pretty cold place and one of the southernmost inhabited areas in the world. Still, doesn’t make me understand why part of the flag is tangerine and includes a seagull. Yeah, a bird that can be found practically anywhere even in a parking lot in Southwestern Pennsylvania. Also, looks like it was designed by a 7 year old.

75. North Caucasian Emirate, Russia (1918-1921)

Now this consists of 3 stars making an eye and a nose along with a smiley face mouth. Might have something to do with the whimsical religion of Islam. Of course, the region it represents didn't last.

Now this consists of 3 stars making an eye and a nose along with a smiley face mouth. Might have something to do with the whimsical religion of Islam. Of course, the region it represents didn’t last.

76. Tamil Eelam

This is a flag a of a proposed Tamil state located in what's currently north and east Sri Lanka. Of course, while the image is badass, it also seems more like an emblem for some armed insurgent organization. Yeah, I think the crossed guns have to go.

This is a flag a of a proposed Tamil state located in what’s currently north and east Sri Lanka. Of course, while the image is badass, it also seems more like an emblem for some armed insurgent organization. Yeah, I think the crossed guns have to go.

77. New Jersey, United States

Now New Jersey's flag looks quite decent with the exception of the color. And the horses' head. Doesn't help that it's been the setting of two award winning HBO crime shows like The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire.

Now New Jersey’s flag looks quite decent with the exception of the color. And the horses’ head. Doesn’t help that it’s been the setting of two award winning HBO crime shows like The Sopranos and Boardwalk Empire.

78. Pocatello, Idaho, United States

Okay, this is a flag of a city in Idaho. However, it looks more like an emblem designed for a local auto dealership with shitty commercials. I heard they changed it in 2008. Let's hope it's not something that's looks straight out of some printing program.

Okay, this is a flag of a city in Idaho. However, it looks more like an emblem designed for a local auto dealership with shitty commercials. I heard they changed it in 2008. Let’s hope it’s not something that’s looks straight out of some printing program.

79. Tampa Bay, Florida, United States

Now that's a very tacky flag. I mean not only does it have a seal in the middle but that colors are so distracting. Of course, it kind of embodies the spirit of the city. If not, then Florida.

Now that’s a very tacky flag. I mean not only does it have a seal in the middle but that colors are so distracting. Of course, it kind of embodies the spirit of the city. If not, then Florida.

80. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, United States

This was actually voted among the 5 worst flags of the North American Vexillogical Association. Still, it's been the city's flag since the 1950s and seems to have way too much on it. Perhaps a flag depicting cheap beer would've been more appropriate. Still, you have wonder what kind of art schools the city has to produce a flag like this.

This was actually voted among the 5 worst flags of the North American Vexillogical Association. Still, it’s been the city’s flag since the 1950s and seems to have way too much on it. Perhaps a flag depicting cheap beer would’ve been more appropriate. Still, you have wonder what kind of art schools the city has to produce a horrible flag like this.

NSFW Business Naming and Design

When it comes to starting a business, branding is everything. Branding is how businesses market their products and services to potential customers in a way that defines as well as advertises. Now one of the first ways to come up with a brand is in the business’s name. Think of how the name in many of the brands we see today defines the products and services in a lot of today’s enterprises. Still, to the aspiring entrepreneur, the business name could come in many different forms. Some could be just the name and the business you’re offering such as “Dan Paisley’s Auto Parts Store.” Some can be more creative like “Honest John’s Used Car Dealership” or “Handsome Greg’s Hardware Store.” Sometimes you can go with a clever name like many of the businesses in The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency Series like “Speedy Motors,” “Last Chance Salon,” or “The Handsome Men’s Go-Go Bar.” Yet, however you name your business, make sure it’s suited for a PG or G rated audience and defines what you’re selling. And even if you have a good business name, make sure it’s designed in aw way it doesn’t have unfortunate implications. Still, while there may be a lot of good business names out there, this isn’t the post for them. Rather it’s for those who probably should’ve considered hiring a marketing consultant but didn’t. So without further adieu, here are some bad business names and sign designs that may make you question what the hell the owner was thinking.

1. Doggy Style Pet Shop

I'm sure a great name for a pet store pertains to a sex position deriving from the idea of two dogs humping each other. Anyone who's been around dogs would know what that means.

I’m sure a great name for a pet store pertains to a sex position deriving from the idea of two dogs humping each other. Anyone who’s been around dogs would know what that means.

2. Megaflicks Video Store

While Megaflicks is a perfectly good name for a video store, perhaps the sci-fi font wasn't a good idea. Then again, this might be more appropriate sign for an adult film store.

While Megaflicks is a perfectly good name for a video store, perhaps the sci-fi font wasn’t a good idea. Then again, this might be more appropriate sign for an adult film store.

3. Know Knew Books Used Bookstore

What business owner sees as a clever pun, another sees the sign wondering if the person who designed it knows how to spell.

What business owner sees as a clever pun, another sees the sign wondering if the person who designed it knows how to spell.

4. Retarded Children’s Thrift Store

You may need to get a new business name if the one you currently have contains highly offensive term for mentally disabled people. Seriously, it's as bad as naming your football team the Redskins.

You may need to get a new business name if the one you currently have contains highly offensive term for mentally disabled people. Seriously, it’s as bad as naming your football team the Redskins.

5. Dong Welding

When choosing an appropriate name for a business, make sure yours doesn't refer to synonym for genitalia. Also, I'm sure this business name makes men cringe if they don't know anyone named Dong.

When choosing an appropriate name for a business, make sure yours doesn’t refer to synonym for genitalia. Also, I’m sure this business name makes men cringe if they don’t know anyone named Dong.

6. Stoner Drug Pharmacy

I'm sure "Stoner Drug" is a great name for a drugstore. I can see it now, "Stoner Drug: Our Stash Will Make You High." Hope this is just a medical marijuana dispensary.

I’m sure “Stoner Drug” is a great name for a drugstore. I can see it now, “Stoner Drug: Our Stash Will Make You High.” Hope this is just a medical marijuana dispensary.

7. Blood’s Seafood & Catering

Now while Blood may be a great name for a pirate captain, it's not so much for a seafood restauranteur.

Now while Blood may be a great name for a pirate captain, it’s not so much for a seafood restauranteur. Then again, you can say that for anything else other than pirate or serial killer.

8. Boring Business Systems

I'm sure if I hear if someone has "Boring" in their business name, that I might be interested in what they have to offer. Not.

I’m sure if I hear if someone has “Boring” in their business name, that I might be interested in what they have to offer. Not.

9. Hooker Cockram Construction Firm

From a comment on a Tumblr site Awkward Names: "Just found this company in our contact database. They have an employee called R. Wang. So there's a guy called R. Wang, working at a company that specialises in erections, called Hooker Cockram."

From a comment on a Tumblr site Awkward Names: “Just found this company in our contact database. They have an employee called R. Wang.
So there’s a guy called R. Wang, working at a company that specializes in erections, called Hooker Cockram.” It’s a construction company in Australia now known as just Cockram and they even have a website, too.

10. Goin’ Postal Shipping Center

Aside from being a name of a major shipping franchise, "going postal" also means becoming extremely or uncontrollably angry, often to the point of violence, and usually in a workplace environment. It gets its name from a bunch of post office incidents from 1986s onwards about postal workers attacking and killing their fellow employees and managers.

Aside from being a name of a major shipping franchise, “going postal” also means becoming extremely or uncontrollably angry, often to the point of violence, and usually in a workplace environment. It gets its name from a bunch of post office incidents from 1986 onwards about postal workers attacking and killing their fellow employees and managers.

11. The Barfer Shoppe Pet Food Store

Now this one gets its name from its slogan "Biologically Appropriate Raw Food for Cats and Dogs."  Of course when I hear "barfer" I usually think of someone regurgitating food that's been digested.

Now this one gets its name from its slogan “Biologically Appropriate Raw Food for Cats and Dogs.” Of course when I hear “barfer” I usually think of someone regurgitating food that’s already been digested.

12. Poo-Ping Palace Thai Cuisine

This is a Thai restaurant in Australia. Still, I'm not sure what Poo-Ping means in Thai. Then again, perhaps this sign is just explaining what happens a few hours later.

This is a Thai restaurant in Australia. Still, I’m not sure what Poo-Ping means in Thai. Then again, perhaps this sign is just explaining what happens a few hours later. Either way, still pretty funny.

13. B. A. A. D. Carpet Care

Gets its name from its slogan, "'Best All Around Deal' Company." Still, if you have "bad" in your business name, I'm sure people wouldn't want to buy it.

Gets its name from its slogan, “‘Best All Around Deal’ Company.” Still, if you have “bad” in your business name, I’m sure people wouldn’t want to buy it.

14. The Tranny Shop Auto Transmission Repair Service

Of course, "tranny" here is supposed to be short for transmission. Yet, when everyone else here's the word, "tranny," they think of someone who's been through a sex change.

Of course, “tranny” here is supposed to be short for transmission. Yet, when everyone else here’s the word, “tranny,” they think of someone who’s been through a sex change.

15. B. J. Queen Enterprises LLC Mechanical Contractor

Now I supposed, "B. J." is the guy's name. And I also suppose that he hasn't seen the South Park episode with the Jonas Brothers. Oh, and I'm sure no girl in her right mind may want to be referred to as "B. J. Queen."

Now I supposed, “B. J.” is the guy’s name. And I also suppose that he hasn’t seen the South Park episode with the Jonas Brothers. Oh, and I’m sure no girl in her right mind may want to be referred to as “B. J. Queen.”

16. Bong’s Cleaners Dry Cleaning

For the businessman who needs his designer suit cleaned after he's smoked one. I guess this is a dry cleaning store in the "Rocky Mountain High" Colorado.

For the businessman who needs his designer suit cleaned after he’s smoked one. I guess this is a dry cleaning store in the “Rocky Mountain High” Colorado.

17. Butt Drilling Water Well Engineers

This is a water well engineering firm in New Zealand. Still, I wonder if they have a lot of assholes working for them. Then again, that business probably made them assholes.

This is a water well engineering firm in New Zealand. Still, I wonder if they have a lot of assholes working for them. Then again, that business probably made them assholes.

18. Bill Buttram Photography

Of course, the logo design doesn't deter much shits and giggles either. As someone said on Awkward Names, "Buttram, with a nice logo to show a demonstration as to what is being said :)."

Of course, the logo design doesn’t deter much shits and giggles either. As someone said on Awkward Names, “Buttram, with a nice logo to show a demonstration as to what is being said :).”

19. Cock Polishing Services

For the man searching for a clean and polished look for where the sun don't shine. Of course, this won't count for the guy living in a nudist colony.

For the man searching for a clean and polished look for where the sun don’t shine. Of course, this won’t count for the guy living in a nudist colony.

20. Cuchi’s Barbershop and Beauty Salon

Of course, when I hear the word, "Cuchi" I think of a family hair salon. Actually not really. Still, I wonder if this place does Brazilians.

Of course, when I hear the word, “Cuchi” I think of a family hair salon. Actually not really. Still, I wonder if this place does Brazilians.

21. Dick’s Pumping Concrete Service

Doesn't help that their slogan is, "We'll put our hose anywhere." Still, I wonder if this business also sells those pumps to old men with erectile dysfunction.

Doesn’t help that their slogan is, “We’ll put our hose anywhere.” Still, I wonder if this business also sells those pumps to old men with erectile dysfunction.

22. The Dress Barn Clothing Store

Now there's nothing wrong with the name.  However, it's a clothing store that caters to plus-sized women so calling one's clientele livestock won't get them rushing to the door.

Now there’s nothing wrong with the name at first.
However, it’s a clothing store that caters to plus-sized women so calling one’s clientele livestock won’t get them rushing to the door.

23. Dykes Lumber Company

Probably the only Lumber Company facility in these parts that probably has speakers blasting to Melissa Etheridge music. Also, they even have their own website.

Probably the only Lumber Company facility in these parts that probably has speakers blasting to Melissa Etheridge music. Also, they even have their own website.

24. Family Beer & Liquor Store

This is a liquor store in Illinois. Now I'm sure they came up with "Family" just to give it a down home feel. Still, I don't think a place that sells alcoholic drinks should put "family" in its name. Makes one wonder whether they sell schnapps for kindergarten kids or something.

This is a liquor store in Illinois. Now I’m sure they came up with “Family” just to give it a down home feel. Still, I don’t think a place that sells alcohol should put “family” in its name. Makes one wonder whether they sell schnapps for kindergarten kids or something.

25. P. C. P. Dining Chinese Restaurant

Possibly the Chinese restaurant that offers the trippiest food in the business. Said that the food is so good, you might want to rip off you clothes and bite your neighbor for some leftovers.

Possibly the Chinese restaurant that offers the trippiest food in the business. Said that the food is so good, you might want to rip off you clothes and bite your neighbor for some leftovers.

26. Gross Convenient Store

At least this place lives up to the reputation of most convenient stores. Let's just say people are scared enough of convenient store food as it is. Not to mention, "Gross," isn't a name you'd want to use on a business sign.

At least this place lives up to the reputation of most convenient stores. Let’s just say people are scared enough of convenient store food as it is. Not to mention, “Gross,” isn’t a name you’d want to use on a business sign.

27. Hindenburger Restaurant

Basically their burgers are said to taste so great, that you'd say "Oh, the humanity!" Seriously, why name a burger place after a 1937 aviation disaster?

Basically their burgers are said to taste so great, that you’d say “Oh, the humanity!” Seriously, why name a burger place after a 1937 aviation disaster? It’s like naming a business after the Titanic.

28. Nude Furniture Store

Basically this is a store for furniture without the covers. Nevertheless, while trying to look it up on Google Images, I got more pictures of naked women than this business.

Basically this is a store for furniture without the covers. Nevertheless, while trying to look it up on Google Images, I got more pictures of naked women than this business.

29. PMS Firearms

The gun store for those women experiencing that time of the month when they need to go on a homicidal rampage. Yeah, firearms, that's what all moody women need while on their periods.

The gun store for those women experiencing that time of the month when they need to go on a homicidal rampage. Yeah, firearms, that’s what all moody women need while on their periods.

30. Prom Discount Liquors Store

Because there always has to be the store where all the high school kids get their booze on the night that leads to more teens getting pregnant and contracting STDs than any other.

Because there always has to be the store where all the high school kids get their booze on the night that leads to more teens getting pregnant and contracting STDs than any other.

31. Hump It & Dump It Waste Removal and Demolitions

This is a business in Britain. Still, it's name can also be referred to as "one night stand."  Yeah, not something that should be encouraged.

This is a business in Britain. Still, it’s name can also be referred to as “one night stand.” Yeah, not something that should be encouraged.

32. Spermies T-Shirt Design

Now seriously, what's with naming a T-shirt design business Spermies? Even worse, why is their mascot an actual sperm?

Now seriously, what’s with naming a T-shirt design business Spermies? Even worse, why is their mascot an actual sperm?

33. Butcher Family Funeral Home

Now I'm sure many people who go in there for a viewing are pleasantly surprised that the place doesn't remind them of anything related to Sweeny Todd.

Now I’m sure many people who go in there for a viewing are pleasantly surprised that the place doesn’t remind them of anything related to Sweeny Todd.

34. Booty’s House of Crabs Restaurant

I'm sure those crabs aren't the ones you get in your nether region. Still, this sign is just too dirty to ignore.

I’m sure those crabs aren’t the ones you get in your nether region. Still, this sign is just too dirty to ignore.

35. Dumploads OnUs Junk Removal Specialists

Of course, by dumping loads they mean junk, not poop. Still, I have to admit the business name certainly suits it.

Of course, by dumping loads they mean junk, not poop. Still, I have to admit the business name certainly suits it.

36. Vagina Tandoori Indian Cuisine

Now I'm sure restaurants from East Asia aren't the only ones with dirty names. Hope "vagina" doesn't mean anything inappropriate in Hindi. Then again, people in India speak a lot of different languages.

Now I’m sure restaurants from East Asia aren’t the only ones with dirty names. Hope “vagina” doesn’t mean anything inappropriate in Hindi. Then again, people in India speak a lot of different languages.

37. Fashion Do-Do Clothing Store

Basically this is the clothing store pertaining to wardrobe malfunctions. That, or designer clothes made from shit.

Basically this is the clothing store pertaining to wardrobe malfunctions. That, or designer clothes made from shit.

38. Hand Job Nails & Spa

Basically, this is a place where anyone can get a manicure, pedicure, and massage. Yet, it's also where a man could get his dick manually stimulated. Nevertheless, it's on Castro Street in San Francisco.

Basically, this is a place where anyone can get a manicure, pedicure, and massage. Yet, it’s also where a man could get his junk manually stimulated. Nevertheless, it’s on Castro Street in San Francisco, home of Harvey Milk.

39. Dirty Dick’s Crab House

Let's hope the crabs you got from Dirty Dick's are the ones you ate on your plate. Of course, Dirty Dick may be laden with STDs for all you know. Still, seriously, why go with the STD angle on crab shacks? Come on.

Let’s hope the crabs you got from Dirty Dick’s are the ones you ate on your plate. Of course, Dirty Dick may be laden with STDs for all you know. Still, seriously, why go with the STD angle on crab shacks? Come on. Don’t you want people to bring their kids?

40. Analtech Thin Laser Chromatography

This is a technology company that makes laser chromatographic plates. However, the name is more appropriate for a tech company that makes probes that go all the way up in your ass.

This is a technology company that makes laser chromatographic plates. However, the name is more appropriate for a tech company that makes probes that go all the way up in your ass.

41. FAG Bearings Corporation

This is a ball bearings company in Germany and apparently FAG is an abbreviation for a German saying. Yet, in English, "fag" is short for "faggot," which is a derogatory slur to gay people.

This is a ball bearings company in Germany and apparently FAG is an abbreviation for a German saying. Yet, in English, “fag” is short for “faggot,” which is a derogatory slur to gay people.

42. Suck Bang Blow Restaurant and Saloon

Despite the name, it's probably not an Asian restaurant. Actually, it's a biker bar at Myrtle Beach believe it or not. Still, I bet this sign gets a lot of complaints from parents.

Despite the name, it’s probably not an Asian restaurant. Actually, it’s a biker bar at Myrtle Beach believe it or not. Still, I bet this sign gets a lot of complaints from parents.

43. Pho King Way Noodles & Grill

Now this is one of more dirty named Asian restaurants. This one is Vietnamese. Sometimes I wonder why these Asian establishments have such names as a joke or something.

Now this is one of more dirty named Asian restaurants. This one is Vietnamese. Sometimes I wonder why these Asian establishments have such names as a joke or something.

44. The Chocolate Log Confectionary and Coffee Shop

Now there are great names for a candy and coffee store. Yet, I'm sure "chocolate log" isn't one of them because it's another word for "shit."

Now there are great names for a candy and coffee store. Yet, I’m sure “chocolate log” isn’t one of them because it’s another word for “shit.”

45. Ho-Made Restaurant

Now the "Eat In" and "Carry Out" slogan seem to give "Ho-Made" a whole new meaning. Then again "Ho-Made" is said to be short for "homemade" yet we all know what a "ho" is.

Now the “Eat In” and “Carry Out” slogan seem to give “Ho-Made” a whole new meaning. Then again “Ho-Made” is said to be short for “homemade” yet doesn’t make the sign sound less dirty does it?

46. S & M Mini Mall

S & M Mini Mall: the shopping center that caters to all your BDSM needs. I bet this is the ultimate shopping destination for the dominatrix where she could buy a gimp suit and the latest designer cat o' nine tails.

S & M Mini Mall: the shopping center that caters to all your BDSM needs. I bet this is the ultimate shopping destination for the dominatrix where she could buy a gimp suit and the latest designer cat o’ nine tails.

47. Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning Service

Because you never know when you'll need a cooling service that would make your house so cold that it hurts the sensitive regions of your chest.

Because you never know when you’ll need a cooling service that would make your house so cold that it hurts the sensitive regions of your chest.

48. Big Dick’s Halfway Inn Resort

Doesn't help when it's slogan is "Home of the Original Minnow Shot." Also, the arrow just kills me. Still, name of a restaurant and bar in Missouri.

Doesn’t help when it’s slogan is “Home of the Original Minnow Shot.” Also, the arrow just kills me. Still, name of a restaurant and bar in Missouri.

49. The Sweet Dairy Air Shop

Of course, while it may be a store for dairy products, the name sounds like another word for butt. Doesn't help that there's something phallic about that sheep.

Of course, while it may be a store for dairy products, the name sounds like another word for butt. Doesn’t help that there’s something phallic about that sheep.

50. Toylet Anime and Airsoft

Where anime comics and airsoft make good company. Still, I could understand anime comics at least in manga form but airsoft guns? I mean how do you play paint ball when you're sitting on the commode?

Where anime comics and airsoft make good company. Still, I could understand anime comics at least in manga form but airsoft guns? I mean how do you play paint ball when you’re sitting on the commode?

51. Herpes Pizza

Where you order pizza once and pay for it over the rest of your life. I heard the extra sores special is sensational. Still, what's with the corn ear on the sign? Seriously, what does corn have to do with pizza?

Where you order pizza once and pay for it over the rest of your life. I heard the extra sores special is sensational. Still, what’s with the corn ear on the sign? Seriously, what does corn have to do with pizza?

52. Cabbages & Condoms Thai Restaurant

Seriously, what do cabbages and condoms have to do with Thai food? Is this place trying to promote healthy eating habits and safe sex? Then again, it's in Bangkok.

Seriously, what do cabbages and condoms have to do with Thai food? Is this place trying to promote healthy eating habits and safe sex at the same time? Then again, it’s in Bangkok.

53. Hooker’s Funeral Home

Well, it has to be nice that there's a funeral that takes in all those poor sex workers who've been killed on cop shows. Their viewings must be very interesting.

Well, it has to be nice that there’s a funeral that takes in all those poor sex workers who’ve been killed on cop shows. Their viewings must be very interesting.

54. Kids Exchange

Never underestimate the value of spacing. If two close, the words, "kids exchange" may read "kid sex change." Yeah, it happens.

Never underestimate the value of spacing. If two close, the words, “kids exchange” may read “kid sex change.” Yeah, it happens.

55. Mammoth Erection Scaffolders

Remember this is a construction company, not what old man gets when he's had too many Viagra. Still, if you call this company asking for long, firm poles, they may hang up on you.

Remember this is a construction company, not what old man gets when he’s had too many Viagra. Still, if you call this company asking for long, firm poles, they may hang up on you.

56. Curl Up & Dye Hair Salon

If Sweeny Todd could expand into the beauty parlor business, this would be the perfect name for it. Still, I'm sure people don't want to have any thoughts about death while getting their haircut, especially after watching Sweeny Todd.

If Sweeny Todd could expand into the beauty parlor business, this would be the perfect name for it. Still, I’m sure people don’t want to have any thoughts about death while getting their haircut, especially after watching Sweeny Todd.

57. Badcock Home Furniture & More

Now this would be one of the most ironic places for a man to be caught with his pants down. Ironically, it's a store chain in the South, which means perhaps the place where David Vitter, Mark Sanford, and John Edwards bought their dining chairs.

Now this would be one of the most ironic places for a man to be caught with his pants down. Ironically, it’s a store chain in the South, which means perhaps the place where David Vitter, Mark Sanford, and John Edwards bought their dining chairs. Then again, you may not know who these guys are.

58. The Dirty Hoe Garden Shed

Finally, a perfect place for lonely men to get petunias, fertilizer, and a watering can for their mothers as well as a female escort for themselves.

Finally, a perfect place for lonely men to get petunias, fertilizer, and a watering can for their mothers as well as a female escort for themselves. Well, if they’re into that sort of thing and can live with the STDs for the rest of their lives.

59. Barf Bed & Breakfast

Heard they have excellent guest accommodations but the food is just disgusting. I mean it's bad enough to make you puke if you know what I mean. Still, you might want to eat out if you ever stop there.

Heard they have excellent guest accommodations but the food is just disgusting. I mean it’s bad enough to make you puke if you know what I mean. Still, you might want to eat out if you ever stop there.

60. Blue Balls Boutique

Now here's a nice little boutique for all the guys who are saving it for marriage, thinking about entering a monastery or priesthood, or men who just aren't getting any right now.

Now here’s a nice little boutique for all the guys who are saving it for marriage, thinking about entering a monastery or priesthood, or men who just aren’t getting any right now.

61. Knobs & Knockers Door Accessories

While this may be a cute name for a door accessories or hardware store, it's also a very appropriate name for a sex shop. I mean I've seen Young Frankenstein, when Gene Wilder says, "What knockers!" And Inga goes, "Oh, thank you, doctor."

While this may be a cute name for a door accessories or hardware store, it’s also a very appropriate name for a sex shop. I mean I’ve seen Young Frankenstein, when Gene Wilder says, “What knockers!” And Inga goes, “Oh, thank you, doctor.”

62. S. T. D. Central Flea Market

Where you come for the cheap crap you pay for the rest of your life on antibiotics and safe sex. Perhaps I should pass this resale shop if I ever come across it.

Where you come for the cheap crap you pay for the rest of your life on antibiotics and safe sex. Perhaps I should pass this resale shop if I ever come across it.

63. Pee & Poo Food & Drink

Please let this be an Asian restaurant and not some reflection of the fare this business has to offer. Because that would be disgusting.

Please let this be an Asian restaurant and not some reflection of the fare this business has to offer. Because that would be disgusting beyond all reason.

64. Shemale Hair Salon

Let's just hope this salon's "body works" and "fast altercations" don't pertain to a quick sex reassignment surgery. Because I'm perfectly fine with being a woman, thank you.

Let’s just hope this salon’s “body works” and “fast altercations” don’t pertain to a quick sex reassignment surgery. Because I’m perfectly fine with being a woman, thank you.

65. Pussy Cleaners Dry Cleaning

Finally, the place where I can take my formalwear to be dry cleaned and have my private parts cleaned at the same time. Then again, I usually clean my nether regions myself in the shower, thank you very much.

Finally, the place where I can take my formal wear to be dry cleaned and have my private parts cleaned at the same time. Then again, I usually clean my nether regions myself in the shower, thank you very much.

66. Menlove Dental Practice

If you're a straight man, then going to this dentist might give the words "open wide" and "it's just a little prick" a whole disturbing new subtext.

If you’re a straight man, then going to this dentist might give the words “open wide” and “it’s just a little prick” a whole disturbing new subtext.

67. Camel Towing Removal Service

Whether it's clearing a tree down the road or relieving a woman from the embarrassment of showing her crotch in really tight pants, these are the guys for you.

Whether it’s clearing a tree down the road or relieving a woman from the embarrassment of showing her crotch in really tight pants, these are the guys for you.

68. Fuk Mi Sushi Bar & Seafood Buffet

Now this Japanese restaurant has everything such as sushi, seafood, and an escort service to boot. Still, what a terrible name.

Now this Japanese restaurant has everything such as sushi, seafood, and an escort service to boot. Still, what a terrible name.

69. Long Poo Gas Supplies

Whether it's methane, propane, or whatever's coming from your rear end, these people got it all. Nevertheless, proceed with caution since natural gas is flammable and doesn't solve global warming at all.

Whether it’s methane, propane, or whatever’s coming from your rear end, these people got it all. Nevertheless, proceed with caution since natural gas is flammable and does nothing to stop global warming.

70. Hammered Liquor Store

May not be the most appropriate business name, but it fits. Yes, liquor and alcohol will get you hammered if you drink enough of it.

May not be the most appropriate business name, but it fits. Yes, liquor and alcohol will get you hammered if you drink enough of it.

71. Scandinavian Sun Tanning Salon

Sure Scandinavian people have good tans, yet understand that some places in Scandinavia don't get sunshine during certain times of the year. So it's kind of a stretch.

Sure Scandinavian people have good tans, yet understand that some places in Scandinavia don’t get sunshine during certain times of the year. So it’s kind of a stretch.

72. Sherrill’s Eat Here and Get Gas Rest Stop

I know this is a rest stop, but the word "gas" has another meaning than just fuel for the car. Remind me not to order anything with beans at this place if you know what I mean.

I know this is a rest stop, but the word “gas” has another meaning than just fuel for the car. Remind me not to order anything with beans at this place if you know what I mean.

73. Brick Furniture Store

Let's just say, you wouldn't expect a anything from Brick Furniture to be very comfortable. In fact, quite the opposite.

Let’s just say, you wouldn’t expect a anything from Brick Furniture to be very comfortable. In fact, quite the opposite.

74. Tom Raper RVs

Now having your own name in the business is fine but not if your name is Raper. This is especially true when you sell RVs.

Now having your own name in the business is fine but not if your name is Raper. This is especially true when you sell RVs.

75. Killer for Hire Exterminators

This is an exterminator business, yet you wouldn't know it by the presentation, which suggests a completely different service. I'm sure this business will take care of those unwanted pests at and will make you an offer you can't refuse.

This is an exterminator business, yet you wouldn’t know it by the presentation, which suggests a completely different service. I’m sure this business will take care of those unwanted pests at and will make you an offer you can’t refuse.