The Festive World of Pinatas

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For honoring Cinco de Mayo this year (or Mexican Saint Patrick’s Day as I call it), I’ve decided that instead of doing a craft and treat post for observing the holiday, I decided to mark the occasion through a post on something we associate with Mexico. That’s right pinatas. Of course, in the US, pinatas are commonly used for children’s birthday parties which they wear a blindfold and try to whack it down with a large stick before everyone scrambles to get candy coming out of it. However, despite its common association with Mexico, the pinata’s origins aren’t just reserved for that country. In fact, the word “pinata” is a Spanish deviation of the Italian word, “pignatta” meaning “earthenware cooking pot.” Not to mention, the idea of breaking a container with treats had existed in Europe since the 14th century. And it’s very likely that Europeans got the idea for it from China where it was used to celebrate the Chinese New Year and depicted as either a cow or ox and filled with seeds. In Europe, it was associated with the Christian observance of Lent. The first Lenten Sunday was called “Pinata Sunday” with a celebration called Dance of the Pinata. The pinata mostly consisted of a clay pottery container decorated with ribbons, tinsel, and colored paper.  Though to be fair, Mesoamerica did have similar traditions such as honoring  Huitzilopochtli’s birthday in mid-December. So the pinata tradition wasn’t quite imported though the Spanish used pinatas for catechism purposes as well to co-opt the Huitzilopochtli ceremony. And the Mayan tradition before that involved something similar to what you see at kids’ birthday parties. Still, in 16th century Mexican Catholicism, the pot represented man’s struggle against temptation. The pot symbolized evil with whatever’s in it the seasonal fruit within. The blindfolded person with the stick represents faith. Anyway, today, you’ll find pinatas in all different shapes and sizes. And it Mexico, you’ll find it used not just for kids’ birthday parties, but also for Christmas, weddings, and other occasions. Nevertheless, for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of these Mexican containers of goodies.

  1. No hair salon party should do without pinatas like these.

Includes scissors, a hairbrush, shampoo, and a hair dryer. Guess these are filled with shampoo and conditioner samples.

2. You can actually sit under this toadstool pinata.

Now that’s a big pinata you wouldn’t find at kids’ birthday party. Made from paper mache.

3. A cupcake pinata should always have a cherry on top.

And I see it has sprinkles and chocolate icing. Can’t wait to the get to the filling with candy.

4. I’m sure breaking this pinata you’re fishing for something.

Well, I’m sure this one doesn’t contain any fish. But you’d have to be a real angler to hit this one.

5. This pinata was brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Spider Man.

Here we see him in an upside down position before he’s about to be broken apart by a bunch of excited 5-year-olds. Made from paper mache.

6. A minion pinata can always make birthday parties fun.

Of course, regardless what people might think about minions, they might agree on this one. But not always for the same reason. Yes, I know there are some people who don’t like these guys.

7. A lobster pinata makes a rather classic party addition.

However, only rich people can afford to have a lobster pinata at their kids’ birthday parties. Though I do like its tuxedo.

8. A tiki pinata can bring paradise to anywhere.

Though this might be a remnant of Polynesian culture. Because those tiki figures depicted their gods.

9. Nobody could resist this Dalmatian pinata pup.

Great for any firehouse birthday party. Though a German Shepard can do just as nice but they’re more associated with police.

10. If you like Pirates of the Caribbean, then this pinata is for you.

This one even has flaming tissue paper torches. Yet, we have to understand that a pirate’s life wasn’t as cool as these movies show.

11. Wonder what’s in this mysterious box.

According to Super Mario Bros., it can be a spotted mushroom that makes you bigger, a blinking star that allows you to shoot fire balls, or gold coins. Still, this is a pretty simple pinata to make.

12. A disco ball pinata always makes things groovy.

Make sure to use very shiny paper on the outside. But it must be broken to the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever.

13. This lipstick pinata definitely leaves a mark.

Even has some kiss marks to emphasize. Hope it’s full of candy and not cosmetic samples.

14. A happy butterfly pinata always brings a smile.

This is so cute I’d hate to see it broken open by a bunch of kids. But that’s the crux of a pinata’s existence.

15. This Frida Kahlo pinata is an artistic masterpiece.

After all, I can’t do a pinata post without including one of her. Since she’s an especially iconic Mexican artist.

16. A teepee pinata should have a few floral touches.

Though let’s remember not all of the Native American tribes lived in these things. Yet, they’re often depicted as such.

17. A rocketship pinata can always reach for the stars.

Well, great for any space themed party. And it doesn’t seem hard to make either.

18. You can never go wrong with a sandal pinata.

But remember that the candy is mostly stored in the sole and heel. Love the purple straps though.

19. You can’t deny the chemistry on this pinata.

This one has a flask filled with a purple substance. Nevertheless, I’m sure there won’t be harmful chemicals in this.

20. This happy raindrop sure won’t rain on your parade.

Doesn’t hurt it’s decorated with flowers either. Though looking at it requires a temporary suspension of disbelief.

21. This house fly pinata will never be an ongoing pest.

Okay, this is one of the creepiest pinatas I’ve ever seen. Probably one you’d want to beat open with a stick since it inspires nightmares.

22. Nothing makes a party like a pinata of Mr. Potato Head.

Wonder if it comes with detachable features like the toy. Great for a Toy Story themed party.

23. With this pinata, you can almost see the whole world.

This is a pinata of the globe all right. And yes, it depicts all the continents.

24. Snoopy and Woodstock are always a delight.

Another pinata I wouldn’t want to break down. These two are so adorable with each other. Though I never understand what Woodstock says.

25. This sun pinata can always keep you on the sunny side.

Because nothing makes your day like a bright smiling burst of yellow. And I hear this pinata is filled with sunny delights.

26. You never know what you’d find in a Russian nesting doll pinata.

However, I’m sure there are several nesting doll pinatas inside. So it’ll be a while before you get to the candy.

27. This fish pinata’s proving to be a real angler.

Another great pinata for fishing enthusiasts. Wonder if it’s used for any parties for Field and Stream.

28. A wedding cake pinata should be hoisted on high.

Doesn’t hurt if it comes with white roses. By the way, wedding pinatas are a thing in Mexico.

29. There’s nothing like seeing a rainbow pinata on a spring day.

This one even has rainbow streamers attached to it. So lovely.

30. There’s nothing you can resist about a cute little pink elephant.

By the way, a pink elephant is a euphemism for a drunken hallucination. Though to be fair, this is perfectly acceptable for any little girl’s party.

31. This penguin pinata is all decorated for Christmas cheer.

Yes, pinatas are used for Christmas, too. Still, this little penguin with a Santa hat is adorable.

32. There’s always something magical about a unicorn pinata.

This one even has a glitter neck and hooves along with a rainbow mane and tail. I’m sure any little girl would love it.

33. Nothing makes an impression like a shiny golden lightning bolt.

If you’re throwing a Harry Potter themed party, this is perfect for you. Or a Thor one since he’s the Norse god of thunder.

34. I bet this pinata contains something explosive.

Well, it says TNT on the outside. But I don’t think you’ll find any dynamite in there. Unless the party’s for a pyromaniac.

35. For traditional Mexican pinatas, you can’t go wrong with a 9-pointed star.

Mexicans use this one for Christmas, by the way. And yes, it’s decked in all kinds of different colors.

36. This bee pinata will always keep you buzzing.

And it’s face make it seem as sweet as can be. Made with paper mache.

37. I don’t think this lamp contains a genie.

Sure it won’t contain a genie that could grant you 3 wishes. But, hey, candy is just as good.

38. This Batman pinata never fails to save the party.

This one just consists of the bat logo. Yet, I’m sure it’ll delight fans young and old.

39. A Stay Puft Marshmallow Man pinata always needs busted.

Of course, he’s what everyone remembers best about Ghostbusters. Still, he’s supposed to be a menace storming the city. Not a cute little ghost in a sailor suit.

40. No princess could resist a pinata of Rapunzel’s tower.

Well, it’s certainly a work of art. Love the flowers and roof tiles. Would be a shame to see it hacked open by a stick.

41. Not sure how you hoist up this mounted deer pinata.

But it sure makes a swell decoration on someone’s wall. Until someone breaks it open.

42. With this hanging deer pinata you’re in for a real treat.

Though I recommend it for kid parties for late November and early December. Still, this just cracks me up.

43. This little kitty pinata is certainly the cat’s meow.

Of course, I could include a crude pussy joke here. But I’m not going to even try. Still, this is adorable.

44. There’s nothing buzzing at a party like this little beehive.

Sure it’s perfectly safe for any child to whack open this beehive pinata. But when it comes to real hives and wasp nests, just tell them to stay the hell away.

45. It’s always time to party with a goldfish pinata.

Yet, I’d be deeply disappointed if it didn’t contain any goldfish crackers inside. Love the little thought bubble.

46. A dolphin pinata can always make a splash.

After all, who doesn’t like dolphins besides the food they eat? Great for any ocean themed party.

47. A mermaid pinata can always enchant under the sea.

Though this one is more or less used for a children’s party. But she’s so adorable with her starfish.

48. Bet you’ll find all kinds of candy inside this boat.

Helps if it’s in red, white, and blue. If you like nautical, you’ll certainly like this.

49. If you work at PennDOT, you might want to go with this.

Yes, it’s an orange traffic cone pinata. I’m sure it’s pretty easy to pull off. Though it’s not a pinata I’d have in mind.

50. A purse pinata can contain all kinds of things.

Just like a purse. But I’m sure a pinata purse won’t contain stuff you’d find in a regular one.

51. My Little Pony fans will adore this Rainbow Dash pinata.

Though let’s hope this is used at a little girl’s party. Because from what College Humor says, bronies can be kind of creepy.

52. A doughnut pinata should always come in assorted sprinkles.

Even has some pink frosting to match. Nevertheless, it’s not a hard one to pull off.

53. A crown pinata is always fit for a king or queen.

Helps if the crown is large with gold cardboard and jewels. Though this one almost seems to pretty to smash.

54. This diamond ring pinata seems like a real jewel.

Still, I think it’s definitely for a wedding. Because pinatas are bad places to hide a ring in a marriage proposal.

55. This little chicken pinata is almost impossible to resist.

I mean it’s so white and fluffy. Would be a shame to break this one open with a stick.

56. A cactus pinata can never dry up a party.

As you know, cactus are associated with Mexico and the American Southwest. But at least this one doesn’t have spiky needles.

57. A pinata bread slice should always have sprinkles.

Well, you can’t go wrong with that. Besides, sprinkles always seem to brighten anyone’s day.

58. Now this pinata is just an imitation of a real game controller.

Yet, it bears a rather striking resemblance to the real thing. Must’ve been made by someone with too much time on their hands.

59. This pink owl pinata is certainly a hoot.

Yes, I’ve posted a lot of owl stuff on my blog. But you have to admit, this little owl is simply adorable.

60. These bride and groom pinatas make a perfect match.

Nevertheless, they come in a set. However, chances are they’re probably too big to top a wedding cake.

61. There’s so much to love about this rainbow heart.

Well, everyone loves hearts and rainbows. So it’s understandable why I included this. So pretty.

62. I bet this lollipop pinata contains all the sweets.

Then again, a lollipop pinata seems quite appropriate for parties. Because we all know what they usually have inside.

63. This red high-heel can always be the life of the party.

And I’m sure this one is used for more fashionable occasions. Though I hope there’s candy inside.

64. A flower pinata can always blossom.

Still, don’t see a lot of flower pinatas around. Yet, this pink one is quite lovely.

65. Nobody could ever resist this panda pinata.

After all, pandas are irresistibly cute and cuddly. Yet, remember they’re bears that can kill you.

66. You’ll always know it’s spring with this Easter chick.

Yes, Easter pinatas exist, too. And yes, this little chick hatches from an Easter egg. But it’s so cute.

67. “We all live in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine…”

I guess this one is for a Beatles themed party. Made of paper mache.

68. If you don’t know what this pinata’s supposed to be, then you don’t know jack.

As you can see, it’s a bottle of Jack Daniels. And no, I don’t think it’s for kid parties. Please whack responsibly.

69. Now here’s a pinata of polish.

Well, it’s a bottle of nail polish, anyway. Any bet those words stand for “Oh, my God?”

70. This ice cream cone pinata comes in a festive flavor.

Doesn’t hurt if it comes with lots of decorations. Bet it has some tasty treats inside.

71. Would you want fries with this pinata?

And it seems to have all the toppings on it, too. Still, clever but not my thing.

72. A flamingo pinata will always have you tickled pink.

After all, flamingos are graceful pink birds. Though lawn sculptures of them make them an object of tackiness.

73. I guarantee a pinata like this will make your party yuge.

If not, then it will at least it would make great therapy. Because beating a Trump pinata with a stick should make anyone feel happy in this dark time.

74. A dazzling bull can always make a memorable impression.

This is another traditional Mexican pinata shape. And yes, the bull has stripes of many colors.

75. A frog pinata can always make you jump for joy.

Well, big eyed frogs with a smile, anyway. Nevertheless, you can’t resist it if you tried.

76. It’s always a party with a bucket of Corona.

Well, I like how it has gold bottles and tissue paper as ice. Yet, like the Jack Daniels, it’s not for kids.

77. A chocolate chip cookie pinata always has memorable delights.

It’s also a rather easy pinata to make. But if you use it, make sure you don’t invite Cookie Monster.

78. With this octopus, I’m sure nobody will be disappointed.

The blue octopus even has a sailor hat on and a smiley face. So cute.

79. There’s nothing more fashionable than a pinata of Chanel No. 5.

And I hear it’s quite expensive, too. Can only be used for rich girls’ parties.

80. This white moon pinata always has pleasant dreams.

Not sure if they pertain to being hacked open. But I’m sure that’s what will happen to it.

81. A graduation pinata always shows that you’ve made it.

If it’s for college graduation, make sure it contains checks and cash for paying student loans. Because grads will sure as hell need them.

82. There’s always something pleasant about a sundae pinata.

Even comes with a straw and cherry on top. Any money that’s it’s strawberry flavored.

83. I’m sure a shark pinata is a real bite at parties.

Sure they may be feared as killing swimmers. But sharks seem to have their fans.

84. There’s nothing that delights more than a popcorn pinata.

Yes, it resembles the kind of popcorn you’d see at the movies. But it’s quite charming.

85. Celebrate this Cinco de Mayo with a pinata of Jose Cuervo.

Because there’s no beer like it that’s associated with the holiday. Also, it’s not for kids.

86. This robot pinata’s special talent is melting hearts.

Leave it to the magic of cardboard to create this icon of cuteness. Love it.

87. A pirate ship pinata can always make an impressive entrance.

Yes, someone made this. And yes, it’s certainly a masterpiece. Hate to see it hacked to pieces.

88. Emoji pinatas are always expressive.

These are more used for party favors. But I had them up so you can see as many emoji faces as you can.

89. You can never see a pinata like one of a rainbow zebra.

And please take a look at those stripes. Seems like you can see them for miles.

90. A peacock pinata can always show its feathers.

Helps if it has peacock feathers in its colorful display. Love it.

91. This dinosaur pinata is always so endearing.

Though it’s shaped like a T-Rex, it has spikes on its back. But kids will love it.

92. You can bet this fighter jet pinata takes to the skies.

Though it might take a lot to hoist it up. But yes, pinatas can look cool.

93. A sugar skull pinata can’t just be used for any occasion.

Also, had to include a Day of the Dead pinata like this one. Use sugar skull pinatas at any other time, and it might as well be cultural appropriation.

94. This pinata has a certain spray to it.

That’s because it’s a hairspray can. And yes, it’s in shiny pink to sparkle.

95. There’s something fishy about this sushi pinata.

Well, this sushi contains a fish over it. But sushi doesn’t always have to. And the fish doesn’t always have to be raw.

96. A pencil pinata always has the write stuff.

Well, that’s a rather interesting concept. Best for teachers’ parties in the faculty lounge.

97. Nothing makes a fiesta a hit like a bottle of tequila.

Well, tequila is a Mexican drink. But it has a stronger alcohol content than beer.

98. A bunny pinata always keeps the party hopping.

Yes, look into its eyes. So sweet and innocent. Hate to beat it open with a stick, wouldn’t you?

99. A dragon pinata always sparks a good time.

Sure it may not blow fire. But it looks nonetheless awesome in paper mache.

100. How about trying to break open this Golden Snitch?

Well, golden snitches do contain stuff inside them. But good luck finding a Resurrection Stone in this one.

Please Don’t Build This Stupid Border Wall

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“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively — I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” – Donald Trump, during his presidential campaign.

One of President Pussygrabber’s signature campaign promises is to build a huge wall at the US-Mexican Border to deter undocumented immigration which has attracted a lot of support from his supporters. Now that he’s president despite most Americans’ fears and embarrassment, he has a chance to make this border wall a reality. Now I know that many Americans aren’t very cool with undocumented immigration and think a large border wall is a good idea. After all, people apparently think that large physical barriers can keep people from accessing certain places. As of now, there are about 300 companies bidding on it. However, having the border wall in any sense would be a notoriously stupid idea that would waste billions of American taxpayer money. In fact, it would be an utter catastrophe. There is absolutely no evidence that it will be beneficial to anyone. Not to mention, it’s very likely that it’ll inflict tons of needless damage. Common sense alone should tell us that building a wall along the US-Mexican border is an inherently dumb idea. Besides, the reason why so many Americans want a wall built has more to do with racism and xenophobia. My advice to them fearing diversification is suck it up. Minorities just want to live their lives in peace. So if you don’t bother them, they won’t bother you. Nevertheless, a wall may make these Americans feel safer even if it won’t. But that doesn’t building an incredibly expensive wall to ease their cultural and demographic anxieties because it won’t. Here I list the reasons why we shouldn’t build that stupid wall Trump wants.

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I remember from reading about Asian history in college how Chinese Emperor Qi Shi Huang declared he’d build a big beautiful wall to keep the barbarian hordes out. And that Mongolia was going to pay for it. Well, it did eventually when Kublai Khan took over China. So I guess the Great Wall of China didn’t really do its job.

  1. It Won’t Work– This totally obvious in that whenever there’s a border wall, people will always find a way to get past it. It doesn’t keep people out or in. Because they’re merely obstacles that delay people from their destinations. The Great Wall of China didn’t stop the country from being taken over by foreign invaders like the Mongols and the Manchurians who established dynasties lasting for several decades. At least the Great Wall of China’s main asset is its cultural and historical significance as well as the money it generates from tourists. The Berlin Wall surely didn’t keep East Germans from trying to get over it during the Cold War even with heavy security. Because living under an authoritarian Communist regime with little regard for human life pretty much sucks. If you want to know whether Trump’s wall will keep undocumented immigrants, cartels, and so-called deviants out, you can just think of all the ways they can circumvent it, if desperate enough. They can climb over it. They can dig a tunnel under it. They can take a plane and fly over it. Or they can go around it by boat either along the Pacific or the Gulf of Mexico. Just look at the map on the last one. Oh, and border barriers have a tendency to frequently fail.
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Most estimates on how much Trump’s wall is going to cost usually range between $21-$25 billion at least. However, as time passes, we should expect it to be more expensive. Kind of like having Trump as president and just as useless. Seriously, what the fuck, Trump voters? However, Mexico would still pay for it, right? Sorry, but that’s not going to happen.

2. It’s Obscenely Expensive to Build and Maintain– Almost every cost estimate I looked at on Trump’s border wall has ranged from as low as $25 billion to as high as $2 trillion. But in any case, constructing and maintaining the wall will only get more expensive as time goes on. As John Oliver pointed out last March, as “maintenance costs will exceed the initial construction costs within seven years.” Of course, the construction costs would include the building materials, equipment, transportation, and labor. You also have to account for access to infrastructure, source locations for power and utilities, soil conditions, unplanned errors and omissions, regulatory requirements, and weather. With labor, you have to worry about morale and fatigue which can lead to absenteeism, turnover, and crew inefficiencies. Not to mention, in a project spanning great distance, you have to expect labor productivity loss due to continuous mobilization and demobilization such as moving labor, equipment, and materials from one area to another. You should also count for security since there will be activists protesting. In addition, construction megaprojects like Trump’s proposed wall usually go over budget 90% of the time. Once the wall’s built, then you need border patrol including agents on foot, vehicles, and horseback as well as various forms of video surveillance. Because without monitoring the wall wouldn’t be effective. Not that it will be anyway. Then there’s maintenance when it fails or is breach which will often happen adding billions more. But that’s all right because Trump promised that Mexico will pay for it. Though don’t bet on it.

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Despite that Cheetoface promised that Mexico will pay for the wall, former Mexican President Vincente Fox has made it perfectly clear it won’t. Why? Because Mexico sure as hell doesn’t want it, especially after Trump referred to Mexicans as criminals, drug mules, and rapists. So Trump voters who took into your Cheeto lord’s bullshit, the wall bill’s on you. Sorry.

3. Mexico Won’t Pay for It– Mexico knows that building a border wall between their country and US will only hurt their interests. Trump’s border wall has pissed off the Mexicans and soured US relations with the country that its president cancelled a meeting with President Cheetoface. Mexican politicians have even swore about not building it in English. And Mexico’s Catholic church has equated any Mexican building that wall to committing treason. Not to mention, the Mexican economy has shown signs of stress with bordering communities suffering much disruption since the first barriers went up in 2006, including environmental damage and increased business costs due to prolonged crossing times. We should also understand that during the 19th century, we took a lot of their northern territory that now consists of the American Southwest. Oh, and that Mexico is out 3rd largest trading partner. So no, contrary what Lord Cheeto said, Mexico won’t pay for the wall. Not now. Not ever. I am 100% sure that the costs of building and maintaining that stupid wall will fall to American taxpayers. So, Trump voters, you’ve been conned.

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This is a coati which lives along the US-Mexican border. It’s a Mexican raccoon. Like many animals living in one of the most biodiverse areas in the country as well as home to some of the continent’s most imperiled species. Since many of these animals depend on migration routes, border barriers already make their lives difficult. Trump’s wall could make their lives even worse as well as drive some of these species further to extinction. And I’m sure you don’t want to see this little guy go, right?

4. Environmental Issues– From the Pacific Ocean down to the mouth of the Rio Grande to the Gulf or Mexico, the US-Mexican borderlands encompass some of the nation’s most compelling landscapes as well as harbor some of our most imperiled species including jaguars, bighorn sheep, and Sonoran Pronghorn. Trump’s wall will divide ecosystems and block anything walking, crawling, or slithering in its path, further pushing these and many other species to toward extinction. Open borders are essential for these animals. A wall could isolate these populations, fragment and decimate wildlife habitats, and ultimately threaten one of the most biodiverse areas in the US. Trump’s executive order over the wall threaten to destroy cooperation between Border patrol and public servants who care for many of our public lands there, including national parks, national monuments, and national forests as well as numerous areas of state, local, and private land and preserves. Not to mention it would significantly increase border security damage in these fragile, diverse landscapes.

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By the way, if Trump has his way to build that stupid useless wall, you might have to say goodbye to such picturesque landscapes like this. I know it’s sad. But that’s the price we have to pay for a bunch of white people’s racism and xenophobia.

5. Legal and Community Challenges– We should understand that the US-Mexican border is home to a lot of communities which the wall’s construction will certainly cut through such as San Diego and Brownsville, Texas. But we should also acknowledge that much of the land along the Texas side is privately owned. Sure the federal government could use eminent domain to relegate the private land into public use. But that could result in disputes over compensation. Not to mention, we should account the fact that many of these landowners wouldn’t be happy to part with their land in any case. Texas landowners, in particular, have brought lawsuits against attempts to construct short sections of barriers on their lands during the rush to construction a decade ago. Additionally, borderlands residents have made it clear they don’t want Trump’s wall, particularly the Tohono O’odham Nation in Arizona, which has villages on both sides of the border and has frequently endured civil rights abuses under Border Patrol officials. And that borderlands residents have elected officials who don’t want Trump’s wall either. Furthermore, during the past 2 decades borderlands communities have put up with intensive militarization including thousands of Border Patrol agents and construction of checkpoints, encampments, surveillance towers and stadium lighting. Trump’s wall could further intensify this to the bane of communities. Not to mention, the wall could wreak havoc on businesses on both sides of the border. If not, then perhaps entire states and localities.

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Here’s a sign in California telling border crossers to, “Caution! Do not expose your life to the elements. It’s not worth it!” Nevertheless, despite what Trump says about undocumented immigration, no wall can deter desperate migrants from crossing the border. And many of them are now coming from violent regions of Central and South America.

6. Doesn’t Address Complexities of Undocumented Immigration– We should keep in mind that nearly half of undocumented immigrants in the US are those who overstay their visas. Sometimes their visa overstays may not altogether be their fault, especially if they applied for a renewal prior. At any rate, these people entered the country through legal channels so the border wall won’t affect them. Nor do many of them fit into the traditional undocumented immigrant stereotype, since a lot of them all over the world through air. As for border crosses, there have fewer Mexicans and more from Central and South America fleeing violence who don’t attempt to circumvent border patrol. But rather willingly go to entry points and seek asylum or other protections there. As John Oliver said building a wall to solve undocumented immigration, “like wearing a condom to protect from head lice. You could do that. But that’s not really how you keep the thing you’re worried about from happening.” Undocumented immigration from Mexico has been on the decline and most of our nation’s undocumented immigrants have been in the country for at least a decade. Most of the newer undocumented immigrants don’t live along the border but further north in states like Washington, New Jersey, Louisiana, Virginia, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania. If you want less undocumented immigrants from Mexico, your best bet is strengthening the Mexican economy. When Mexico’s economy does well, undocumented immigration declines. Besides, most Mexicans crossing the border usually intend to stay in Mexico and work in the booming manufacturing, healthcare, and education industries in the US. They have no intention of crossing the border. Also, thanks to deportation policies under the Bush and Obama administrations, US immigration courts are already overwhelmed. Renegotiating NAFTA and launching a Mexican trade war might only make things worse.

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Another big obstacle to Trump’s wall is geography. Here we have Big Bend National Park in Texas which has nearly 6,0000 ft elevation changes as well as temperatures of around 100 degrees during the spring and summer. Building a border wall here wouldn’t be easy and almost next to impossible. So I don’t think it’s worth trying, especially given the view.

7. It’s Practically Implausible– During the administration of George W. Bush, the US built about 700 long fence along the US-Mexican border. Not only did Bush’s fence was much more expensive than anyone anticipated, it was extremely challenging to building it. They had to build through people’s property, build around geography, as well as waive 36 laws including the Endangered Species Act, the Safe Drinking Water Act, and the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act. Building a wall from 1,250-2,000 miles would face the same obstacles at least. Walls and barriers haven’t been constructed in the remaining areas because much of the borderlands are remote and physically imposing. We should that the US-Mexican Border stretches 2,000 miles which includes the Rio Grande and Big Bend National Park. So even if you don’t have to worry about building through San Diego, Brownsville, Texas, privately owned Texas border land, and more, you’d still have topographical constraints to erect any physical structure all the way across. For instance, Big Bend alone has almost 6,000 feet of elevation changes as well as dry and hot late spring and summer days often exceeding 100 degrees Fahrenheit. The Rio Grande twists and snakes through the region even more dramatically than the Mississippi so the wall in some locations would be miles from it and not follow the actual border. The river has also been dammed in several places and diverted to agriculture so it’s more of a series of different rivers than a single one. So a giant wall doesn’t seem remotely practical.

8. It Will Hurt Economies– Sure many working and middle class Americans like to blame immigrants and international trade for their economic woes. And I understand many of them prefer simple, concrete solutions like a stupid wall. However, building walls limiting mobility and trade are too simple a solution to a complex problem. Today’s economies are more linked by data, goods, and services exchanges than ever before. Workers even move between countries even with greater regulation than in the past. US economic inequality has less to do with foreigners taking American jobs and more to do with increased automation, decline in labor unions, decline in labor standards, increased deregulation, increased corporate power in almost every facet in American life, and the overall normalization of greed. For instance, income of the 1% has increased dramatically while lower and middle class wages have remained stagnant as the cost of living rises. As 1% incomes increase so does their power as well as their tendency to screw people over without consequence. In addition the mainstream media doesn’t even cover widespread labor abuses like wage theft, workplace endangerment, sexual harassment, employer intimidation, unlivable minimum wages, and other violations. No wall can change these facts. No wall can solve these problems. And I can guarantee that wall or no wall, Donald Trump will not fix them. Not because he’s a total idiot with no idea how the government functions. But because he’s benefitted from these problems along with prominent Republican donors who helped elect him and other conservative politicians. The fact Republicans and the rich have embraced fantastical notions of free-market wishful thinking that has absolutely no basis in reality to justify their anti-labor stances. And that long-standing racist attitudes and poor shaming have made many white voters eager to vote for these politicians who care nothing for them. Your best bet is overturning Citizens United, abolishing right to work laws, raising and indexing the minimum wage to at least $10-$15 an hour, real consequences for labor violators like jail time, and a social culture affirming that employee mistreatment is not okay.

Large Elaborate Drug Tunnel Found Along U.S. Mexico Border

Cartels and smugglers can always adapt to border security measures if need be since they prefer to exploit checkpoint schedules over scattering their resources. And Trump’s wall certainly wouldn’t prevent narco tunnels like this one. Remember how I said it wouldn’t work?

9. It Will Not Protect Against Cartels– Despite that Trump thinks a wall could stop the flow of drugs and guns, evidence suggests otherwise. According to Politico, while the dozen or so official “ports of entry” on the border line are highly regulated and policed, cartels prefer to exploit their predictability and rationality than to scatter their resources across open desert and river expanses. Traffickers carefully study how security operates in each checkpoint so they can observe and instantly respond to weakness. One instance would be when inspections are relaxed in order to speed up traffic flows or when a corrupt inspection officer on duty turns a blind eye. They can also be clever in adjusting their behavior like smuggling weapon parts into Mexico instead of whole weapons. After all, you can more easily conceal parts that don’t contain identification numbers, making them harder to trace. Cartels can also factor and calculate losses through these checkpoints as well. And even on a bad say, cartels still would risk their shipments through checkpoints than put people and product through an unpredictable wilderness.

10. It Will Not Protect Against Terrorists– Trump has often proclaimed that building a wall across our Southern border will thwart terrorists despite that no terrorist has ever entered the country through crossing it. Even the Department of Homeland Security has long held that it has, “no credible intelligence to suggest terrorist organizations are actively plotting to cross the southwest border.” In addition, we should remember that our 9/11 hijackers entered the US legally and since then 80% of those charged with or died while engaging in jihadist-related terrorist activities in the nation were either US citizens or permanent residents. Not to mention, native-born white men committed way more terror attacks on US soil than their jihadist counterparts in that same time span. These findings should indicate that most active US terrorists are homegrown. As for the terrorists who were foreign born, a list of 154 individuals who committed or plotted attacks in the US from 1975-2015 only yielded 1 Mexican.

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Support for Trump’s stupid, useless wall is mostly motivated by fear, racism, and xenophobia from white Americans seen here. It’s very clear that walls don’t work, don’t keep people safe, and don’t keep people out or in. So why do I have to pay for a stupid wall I don’t even want just to assuage white people’s anxieties of demographic change? Can’t they just suck it up, already?

11. It’s Un-American– According to Fast Company, Trump’s wall can amount to a spectacular land and resource giveaway, including ceding access the Rio Grande and its reservoirs for Mexico which won’t be good for American interests. Nor would it be great for the communities who depend on the Rio Grande for water. But what’s even more Un-American is that Trump’s wall idea mainly finds appeal among those who embrace repugnant ideologies like racism and xenophobia. And it’s mainly driven of irrational fears that have no basis in reality whatsoever. By sealing the Mexican border, the US would turn away asylum seekers from Central America. Many of them fleeing because of violence and persecution. Sending them back their home countries is basically a death sentence. Keeping these people out of the country won’t make it safer and goes against our values. And don’t get me started on mass deportations which I think are very cruel and tear families and communities apart.

12. It’s Unnecessary– As I wrote earlier, many border crossers at the US-Mexican border usually live in Mexico and work in the US. Now if big walls could keep out Immigrants, they could also keep some of them in, particularly these border commuters. Increased border security limits freedom of movement. Besides, if you look at some of the big walls throughout history and around the world today, it’s not clear why we actually need one. After all most of the big walls today were built for military and defensive reasons. I mean we’re not really at war with Mexico and haven’t been since before the American Civil War. That was mostly because we wanted some of Mexico’s lands. And the last time we had any southern border violence was during the Wilson administration. Today we have a pretty nice relationship with Mexico. And building a wall along the border only pisses them off. Besides border communities and ecosystems depend much more on freedom of movement between the US and Mexico and a wall would just hurt their interests. So there’s no reason why we should build this stupid, useless wall. It’s just a massive waste of money and nothing more.

NO BORDER WALL sticker

I can never think of a dumber Trump policy than building a border wall along the US-Mexican border. It’s useless, expensive as hell, unnecessary, and poses very negative consequences. And what’s fueling support for this barrier are fear inspired ideologies which shouldn’t be accepted by society anyway. As a taxpayer, I don’t feel that I should pay for stuff like that. So no wall, no way.

Calaca Inspired Dia de los Muertos Costumes

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Disclaimer: I am aware that the Dia de los Muertos is not just a holiday just confined to Mexico or celebrated by Latinos who aren’t just of Mexican heritage. But I have to remind viewers that this isn’t a post to give you ideas to do a Halloween costume (unless Dia de los Muertos is part of your culture and you want to save money). Dia de los Muertos is not Mexican Halloween and unless your culture celebrates the holiday, then you shouldn’t wear these costumes whether on Halloween or on any occasion. Dia de los Muertos is a time for Mexicans and people from some parts of Latin America to remember their ancestors. I understand that cultural appropriation is an American tradition and not a very good one. If your culture doesn’t celebrate Dia de los Muertos, then walking around in a Day of the Dead inspired costume for Halloween because you thought the art was cute is offensive, ignorant, disrespectful, and complicit in erasing a rich culture and identity. Painting your face with sugar skull decoration is not being cultural, it’s stupid. There’s a meaning behind sugar skulls and just because you do it doesn’t mean you understand the significance of this symbol. So please, don’t do it.

Special Disclaimer: I understand that some of these costumes may be culturally appropriated which is offensive. But since Pinterest unintentionally encourages this and I know they tend to be promoted as Halloween costumes, cultural appropriation might not be avoidable. Yet since I’m aware that blond and redheaded Hispanics do exist and that they can be of any race, distinguishing between which costumes are culturally appropriate and which are not is difficult. And you can’t always tell with a photograph. Yet, I will try my best not to be disrespectful to viewers who celebrate this holiday that they view so central to their cultural identity. And I intend not to promote them as Halloween costumes for this post. Nor do I encourage people do dress in these costumes despite having no connection to the holiday whatsoever. Just because I may show a costume post on Dia de los Muertos doesn’t mean I think these are perfectly fine for just anyone.

Aside from setting altars and visit cemeteries to honor and celebrate their dead ancestors and loved ones, it’s not unusual for those who observe Dia de los Muertos also don costumes as well as parade and dance in the streets. Yet, this tradition may not always be practiced in some places in Mexico or Latin America. But there are some areas that do. Many tend to don the calavera makeup and dress in fancy clothes in order to mock death or celebrate their deceased loved ones. For most Mexicans and other Latin Americans who celebrate the holiday, there is nothing scary about dressing up as the elegant “La Catrina” and other figures of death the holiday celebrates. Some may even wear skull shaped masks to scare the dead away. After all, death in Mexico is just part of the natural cycle of life, not something to be feared. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of richly elaborate Dia de los Muertos costumes for you to enjoy. And if your culture doesn’t celebrate the Day of the Dead, these are just for your eyes only.

  1. The makeup scheme must always match the flowers.
Well, she has a pink skull face with beautiful flowers in her hair. The clothes aren't too shabby either.

Well, she has a pink skull face with beautiful flowers in her hair. The clothes aren’t too shabby either.

2. This woman honors her dead great-grandmother by wearing her clothes.

Yes, I know she looks what you might see in a horror movie. But she's not meant to be scary. Just honoring her deceased loved ones.

Yes, I know she looks what you might see in a horror movie. But she’s not meant to be scary. Just honoring her deceased loved ones.

3. Thought you’d never see a dead lady in red before.

If it wasn't for the face paint, I would've sworn she seemed like one of those Mexican women from the Old West movies. Love the dress.

If it wasn’t for the face paint, I would’ve sworn she seemed like one of those Mexican women from the Old West movies. Love the dress.

4. These men celebrate Dia de los Muertos in their fancy hats.

Now this is a great way to mock death along with the Mexican elite who used to starve 90% of the country's population in the early 20th century. The hats and suits are spot on.

Now this is a great way to mock death along with the Mexican elite who used to starve 90% of the country’s population in the early 20th century. The hats and suits are spot on. Then again, maybe that’s another case of cultural appropriation on multiple levels.

5. Don’t forget to don the skulls and feathers.

You might see that a lot of Dia de los Muertos costumes do contain feathers and skulls on them. Then again, it's to be expected.

You might see that a lot of Dia de los Muertos costumes do contain feathers and skulls on them. Then again, it’s to be expected.

6. Sometimes a small touch up is all you need.

Seems like she has a pink shawl to match the flowers. Surely looks stunning.

Seems like she has a pink shawl to match the flowers. Surely looks stunning.

7. This skull face woman is draped with curls.

She's even wearing a white embroidered dress. Love the intricate makeup job.

She’s even wearing a white embroidered dress. Love the intricate makeup job.

8. To look at her is to see a window into your own mortality.

I understand that skeletons aren't supposed to be scary on Dia de los Muertos. But this costume is so good that it doesn't help matters.

I understand that skeletons aren’t supposed to be scary on Dia de los Muertos. But this costume is so good that it doesn’t help matters.

9. White hair is always chic on a dead woman.

I'm sure the white hair is a wig in this. But kind of reminds us that you grow old and then you die.

I’m sure the white hair is a wig in this. But kind of reminds us that you grow old and then you die.

10. A spiderweb on your forehead goes great with flowers.

Notice how she has dark circles under her eyes. Oh, wait, that's makeup, not sleep deprivation.

Notice how she has dark circles under her eyes. Oh, wait, that’s makeup, not sleep deprivation.

11. No Day of the Dead costume could be complete without an embroidered flower skirt.

Well, if it's DIY, then she must've spent a long time doing this costume. Love the rich flowery detail.

Well, if it’s DIY, then she must’ve spent a long time doing this costume. Love the rich flowery detail.

12. Hoop earrings and roses create a neat traditional look.

This woman has roses in her hair as well as an intricate skull makeup scheme. Absolutely stunning.

This woman has roses in her hair as well as an intricate skull makeup scheme. Absolutely stunning.

13. Sometimes it’s best to stick with the basics.

Well, she didn't really do too much as far as makeup goes. Yet, the lipstick provides a nice contrast.

Well, she didn’t really do too much as far as makeup goes. Yet, the lipstick provides a nice contrast.

14. It helps if you top off your look with a colorful sombrero.

Like how she used shiny face paint for her mask as we.. Love the rose design.

Like how she used shiny face paint for her mask as we.. Love the rose design.

15. On Dia de los Muertos, a bride always has her diamond rosary.

Well, she has a nice white dress with her skull makeup as well as matching flowers in her hair. Love it.

Well, she has a nice white dress with her skull makeup as well as matching flowers in her hair. Love it.

16. Dia de los Muertos is a holiday that’s been celebrated for generations.

Here we have 3 generations of a family in their skull face makeup and flowers. Two of them carry parasols in hand.

Here we have 3 generations of a family in their skull face makeup and flowers. Two of them carry parasols in hand.

17. This dead looking girl is all dressed up with no place to go.

She's also wearing a black lace veil with a white lace dress. Nevertheless, really like the flowers.

She’s also wearing a black lace veil with a white lace dress. Nevertheless, really like the flowers.

18. This man seems to have the look of death upon him.

You can even see all his teeth. Yet, this guy seems to have a rather scary touch up.

You can even see all his teeth. Yet, this guy seems to have a rather scary touch up.

19. This little girl dances in her flowery dress.

Helps she's wearing a ribbon to match her dress. Love the flowers on it, too.

Helps she’s wearing a ribbon to match her dress. Love the flowers on it, too.

20. Sometimes death can bring a dour look upon you.

Well, she has a rather rich costume with fancy black lace and all. The rose on her face seems like it's losing petals though.

Well, she has a rather rich costume with fancy black lace and all. The rose on her face seems like it’s losing petals though.

21. Perhaps a red veil can go best with the flowers.

Helps she has a string of pearls to complete the outfit. Love the makeup, too.

Helps she has a string of pearls to complete the outfit. Love the makeup, too.

22. Even a skeleton needs a fine pair of gloves at times.

Well, I said they dress up to mock death and the old Mexican elite. Love the flowery black veil.

Well, I said they dress up to mock death and the old Mexican elite. Love the flowery black veil.

23. Don’t forget to set up an altar for your loved ones on the Day of the Dead.

Well, at least there's not a lot of cultural appropriation going on here. At least the picture gets the tradition right and has some inscriptions in Spanish.

Well, at least there’s not a lot of cultural appropriation going on here. At least the picture gets the tradition right and has some inscriptions in Spanish.

24. You may see some revelers in Mexico during the Day of the Dead.

Here we have a La Catrina and a mariachi. Both seem a bit dead on the outside but are actually quite lively.

Here we have a La Catrina and a mariachi. Both seem a bit dead on the outside but are actually quite lively.

25. Skeleton makeup isn’t always confined to the face.

She even has a cross on her skull makeup. Love the roses in her hair.

She even has a cross on her skull makeup. Love the roses in her hair.

26. This little senorita is all dressed to kill.

She even has a cute little fur stole and necklaces. I think this is so adorable.

She even has a cute little fur stole and necklaces. I think this is so adorable.

27. Sometimes the skull eyes could be lined with jewels.

Of course, I'm not sure her skin is that white, given how they add photo effects. But this is stunning.

Of course, I’m not sure her skin is that white, given how they add photo effects. But this is stunning.

28. Man, does she really have her heart on display.

Funny how it's not encased in her skeleton which is normally the case. Love the flowers though.

Funny how it’s not encased in her skeleton which is normally the case. Love the flowers though.

29. This man celebrates Dia de los Muertos like he’s on of the Three Amigos.

I'm sure this guy is white and is wearing the makeup. But even I have to admire the intricate costume details.

I’m sure this guy is white and is wearing the makeup. But even I have to admire the intricate costume details.

30. This couple are dressed like they’re together in death.

Well, they're surely dressed nice. And I do like the flowers. But I sure hope they're not wearing these outfits for a Halloween party.

Well, they’re surely dressed nice. And I do like the flowers. But I sure hope they’re not wearing these outfits for a Halloween party.

31. This woman’s Dia de los Muertos costume is truly revolutionary.

Since she's dressed up as a Mexican revolutionary that got fed up with the elite back in the early 20th century. Hope those bullets aren't real.

Since she’s dressed up as a Mexican revolutionary that got fed up with the elite back in the early 20th century. Hope those bullets aren’t real.

32. Sometimes a simple white veil is all you need.

Well, she does have an intricate makeup scheme on her face despite how it makes her look like the Joker. Okay, that might be pretty insulting. Sorry about that.

Well, she does have an intricate makeup scheme on her face despite how it makes her look like the Joker. Okay, that might be pretty insulting. Sorry about that.

33. It helps if you top your costume with a fancy hat.

It's especially true if the hat has marigolds in it since they're a critical flower for Day of the Dead. Also, calla lilies also symbolize death.

It’s especially true if the hat has marigolds in it since they’re a critical flower for Day of the Dead. Also, calla lilies also symbolize death.

34. Flowers can go almost anywhere on your costume.

She seems to have roses around her dress and in her hair. By the way, this was taken by a Hispanic photographer.

She seems to have roses around her dress and in her hair. By the way, this was taken by a Hispanic photographer.

35. Who said a La Catrina can’t have purple hair?

Well, she does have a Joker like face makeup. But you have to love the flowers and the large rings.

Well, she does have a Joker like face makeup. But you have to love the flowers and the large rings.

36. At Dia de los Muertos weddings, it’s till death do they part.

Too bad they only had the bride, groom, and a bridesmaid in this photo. Would've loved to see the rest of the party.

Too bad they only had the bride, groom, and a bridesmaid in this photo. Would’ve loved to see the rest of the party.

37. Sometimes a plain, simple dress will always do fine.

This woman just wears a traditional Mexican outfit. Just a white top and green skirt.

This woman just wears a traditional Mexican outfit. Just a white top and green skirt.

38. Always have a skull mask and rose bouquet in hand.

She certainly has her outfit match her face and hair. Love the flowers.

She certainly has her outfit match her face and hair. Love the flowers.

39. Sometimes a dress in bright colors is all you need.

Yes, you might think she looks like Frida Kahlo from the costume. But that doesn't mean she's supposed to be dressed as her.

Yes, you might think she looks like Frida Kahlo from the costume. But that doesn’t mean she’s supposed to be dressed as her.

40. May you allow this gentleman to tip his hat?

At least this guy chose to wear a mask. At any rate, I do like his hat with a skull decoration.

At least this guy chose to wear a mask. At any rate, I do like his hat with a skull decoration.

41. “Well, that certainly didn’t seem dead funny to me.”

She has a nice made up face with blue around the eyes and a spiderweb. Love the rose in her hair.

She has a nice made up face with blue around the eyes and a spiderweb. Love the roses in her hair.

42. The skull face can occasionally really show up in the dark.

This one has black skull eyes and roses in her hair. But you can see her almost blend into the background.

This one has black skull eyes and roses in her hair. But you can see her almost blend into the background.

43. Here comes a skeleton bride with her veil over a crown of thorns.

Well, I have to admit how stunning this in in black and white. Love the keyhole heart on her chest as well.

Well, I have to admit how stunning this in in black and white. Love the keyhole heart on her chest as well.

44. This woman stands proud in her skull makeup and flowers.

The flowers in her hair seem to match the makeup on her face. Though her lips are in a zipper fashion.

The flowers in her hair seem to match the makeup on her face. Though her lips are in a zipper fashion.

45. This skeletal woman has absolutely nothing to hide.

Well, she's dressed in a skeletal outfit. But she has the skull face, flowers, and veil for Dia de los Muertos.

Well, she’s dressed in a skeletal outfit. But she has the skull face, flowers, and veil for Dia de los Muertos.

46. Couples always dress their finest in their skull and flower finery.

Well, I think this might be from a Dia de los Muertos in California. Yet, both wear the same kinds of flowers and other decoration.

Well, I think this might be from a Dia de los Muertos in California. Yet, both wear the same kinds of flowers and other decoration.

47. This photo surely shows that love is stronger than death.

While he has a tux, she has a rose bouquet and a longhorn necklace. Any guess they might be from the Southwest?

While he has a tux, she has a rose bouquet and a longhorn necklace. Any guess they might be from the Southwest?

48. She knows where it’s at with red and black.

She even has the bony fingers to show it. Yet, she wears roses to go with her red corset.

She even has the bony fingers to show it. Yet, she wears roses to go with her red corset.

49. Sometimes it helps if you have a showy flower headdress.

It also helps if you wear a dress of black lace since it gives a distinctive look. Still, she does seem stunning.

It also helps if you wear a dress of black lace since it gives a distinctive look. Still, she does seem stunning.

50. It’s not just hombres who don the sombreros.

This woman wears a sombrero that matches her outfit and makeup. And she has it buttoned to show some of her ribs.

This woman wears a sombrero that matches her outfit and makeup. And she has it buttoned to show some of her ribs.

51. With light colors come light flowers.

Though she wears a dress without sleeves, she seems to have a poofier skirt. Yet, the flowers match perfectly.

Though she wears a dress without sleeves, she seems to have a poofier skirt. Yet, the flowers match perfectly.

52. This little girl is dressed like she just woke from her grave.

For the record, there are Dia de los Muertos celebrations devoted to children and adult souls on separate days. Still love the flowers and lace.

For the record, there are Dia de los Muertos celebrations devoted to children and adult souls on separate days. Still love the flowers and lace.

53. This little girl comes all dressed in black.

She even has a bouquet of black flowers in her hands. Yet, the flowers she wears on her head are colorful.

She even has a bouquet of black flowers in her hands. Yet, the flowers she wears on her head are colorful.

54. Hope her sombrero isn’t too wide for your taste.

Well, it's a nice touch to her costume. Let's hope she's not wearing it for a Halloween party. Because that would be bad.

Well, it’s a nice touch to her costume. Let’s hope she’s not wearing it for a Halloween party. Because that would be bad.

55. If looks could kill, then this man has racked a high body count.

Yes, he surely seems like a debonair skeleton who might actually be a supervillan. Yet, I can't really tell from here.

Yes, he surely seems like a debonair skeleton who might actually be a supervillan. Yet, I can’t really tell from here.

56. When in doubt, you might want to decorate your face with sequins.

Well, that's a little flashy for my taste. Not sure what I think about that. Might be from a Dia de los Muertos in Vegas.

Well, that’s a little flashy for my taste. Not sure what I think about that. Might be from a Dia de los Muertos in Vegas.

57. Sometimes a mujer has to have dress to show off her top vertabrae.

This one at least has a marigold print trim on black. She even has a necklace to resemble marigolds.

This one at least has a marigold print trim on black. She even has a necklace to resemble marigolds.

58. Dia de los Muertos is a time to visit the dead where they lay.

Well, at least she's in a cemetery, perhaps to honor her dead relatives. Yet, I do like her multicolored serape.

Well, at least she’s in a cemetery, perhaps to honor her dead relatives. Yet, I do like her multicolored serape.

59. Here comes a skeletal bride with a large skirt.

She even has a white parasol to go with it. Might want to clear a path for her.

She even has a white parasol to go with it. Might want to clear a path for her.

60. Let’s hope the love never dies for these two.

This bride is surprisingly tame compared to the previous one. But she's still dressed in white lace.

This bride is surprisingly tame compared to the previous one. But she’s still dressed in white lace.

61. Best to have flowers in your hair of all different colors.

And she's sure lined her face wit quite a few of them. Still, I really like this one.

And she’s sure lined her face wit quite a few of them. Still, I really like this one.

62. On Dia de los Muertos, the dead come up to party.

Don't look now. But the guy almost seems to be close to a "stinkin' badges" stereotype. Well, as far as I'm concerned.

Don’t look now. But the guy almost seems to be close to a “stinkin’ badges” stereotype. Well, as far as I’m concerned.

63. This la Catrina is expecting you.

This is fairly close to a traditional Catrina which was a figure of Mexican satire on the upper class. And yes, she dressed like the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey.

This is fairly close to a traditional Catrina which was a figure of Mexican satire on the upper class. And yes, she dressed like the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey.

64. This man seems to have his heart turned to stone.

So does this mean he's not a guy you should associate with? Because his expression doesn't reveal that he's that kind of guy at all.

So does this mean he’s not a guy you should associate with? Because his expression doesn’t reveal that he’s that kind of guy at all.

65. Hey, look, a little mariachi boy.

He even has his own little guitar as a prop. So adorable.

He even has his own little guitar as a prop. So adorable.

66. This woman in black now takes the mic.

This one has a black dress with a rose in her hair. The mic is just a vintage touch akin to Walk the Line.

This one has a black dress with a rose in her hair. The mic is just a vintage touch akin to Walk the Line.

67. What’s bright about her costume are the marigolds in her hair.

Seems like she's wearing a shawl over her head. By the Mexican marigold was used as a medicinal plant and incense by the Aztecs.

Seems like she’s wearing a shawl over her head. By the Mexican marigold was used as a medicinal plant and incense by the Aztecs.

68. With your Day of the Dead costume, use all the flowers you want.

This woman has hers on her hair, neck, and dress. And she's all dressed in leather.

This woman has hers on her hair, neck, and dress. And she’s all dressed in leather.

69. This couple seems all flowered up.

Guy seems dressed with a powder blue tuxedo top and a string of flowers across. Woman only took to black and roses.

Guy seems dressed with a powder blue tuxedo top and a string of flowers across. Woman only took to black and roses.

70. As far a I can tell, she has the look of a goddess.

Well, an Aztec goddess if you get my drift. Of course, some might find worth sacrificing for.

Well, an Aztec goddess if you get my drift. Of course, some might find worth sacrificing for.

71. Someone seems unusually pale these days.

Yet, she decked with so many beautiful flowers that add color to her outfit. Quite stunning if you ask me.

Yet, she decked with so many beautiful flowers that add color to her outfit. Quite stunning if you ask me.

72. A lady must always have a taste in elegance.

My, does she have a huge hat. But at least it can give her plenty of shade.

My, does she have a huge hat. But at least it can give her plenty of shade.

73. This Catrina has so many flowers in all her finery.

She has flowers all over her outfit as well as inside her large black hat. And she even fans herself, too.

She has flowers all over her outfit as well as inside her large black hat. And she even fans herself, too.

74. This La Catrina has just woke up from the wrong side of the grave.

I have to admit, I really like that purple dress. Also, how this actually resembles a skeleton.

I have to admit, I really like that purple dress. Also, how this actually resembles a skeleton.

75. Anyone can look stunning in a lighter shade of red.

Sure she may wear a corset with flowers. But you have to concede that she does strike a pose.

Sure she may wear a corset with flowers. But you have to concede that she does strike a pose.

76. Of course, you could always wear a mask.

She's even dressed in traditional Victorian attire, too. Love the purple on this.

She’s even dressed in traditional Victorian attire, too. Love the purple on this.

77. My, does she have flowery eyes.

Well, her eyes are laced with gold petals. Yet, she has red flowers in her hair and an embroidered dress.

Well, her eyes are laced with gold petals. Yet, she has red flowers in her hair and an embroidered dress.

78. This little girl only has two roses in hand.

Yet, she wears some in her head to brighten up her black outfit. So adorable.

Yet, she wears some in her head to brighten up her black outfit. So adorable.

79. Seems she’s a little red around the eyes.

However, that's just the magic of makeup. Yet, I do love the roses in her hair.

However, that’s just the magic of makeup. Yet, I do love the roses in her hair.

80. Sometimes death can come out behind you when you’re not looking.

She's even wearing a colorful shirt to go with the flowers on her hair. Love the eye makeup on this.

She’s even wearing a colorful shirt to go with the flowers on her hair. Love the eye makeup on this.

81. How about 3 red roses in your hair?

Man, she seems to have a lot of paint on her and not just her face. Love the roses.

Man, she seems to have a lot of paint on her and not just her face. Love the roses.

82. My, what a lovely hat she wore.

Well, it's not a large hat but it's a fancy one nonetheless. Goes nice with her black lace dress.

Well, it’s not a large hat but it’s a fancy one nonetheless. Goes nice with her black lace dress.

83. Of course, she only shows some of her ribs.

Well, she's painted ribs on her chest. Still, like the lace jacket and flowers.

Well, she’s painted ribs on her chest. Still, like the lace jacket and flowers.

84. How about a sombrero lined with gold?

Wonder if she's worried that she'll mess her hair if she dons the sombrero. Yet, I do think it's finely embroidered.

Wonder if she’s worried that she’ll mess her hair if she dons the sombrero. Yet, I do think it’s finely embroidered.

85. Not sure about her, but she seems a bit bony if you ask me.

Well, she has a lot of skeleton makeup on her. Yet she has a black dress on to, if you look closer.

Well, she has a lot of skeleton makeup on her. Yet she has a black dress on to, if you look closer.

86. Seems like she’s had to tie up to hold herself together.

She seems to have to keep her organs contained for the moment. Yet, you have to admire her red dress.

She seems to have to keep her organs contained for the moment. Yet, you have to admire her red dress.

87. Seems like someone likes to wear the flag of Mexico.

Well, the woman at least does as well as dons a turquoise shawl. The man dresses like one of the Three Amigos.

Well, the woman at least does as well as dons a turquoise shawl. The man dresses like one of the Three Amigos.

88. I suppose she might impress the proper set.

Reminds me of a Dia de los Muertos character Tim Burton would create. This especially since I think Helen Bonham Carter wore a similar outfit in Sweeny Todd.

Reminds me of a Dia de los Muertos character Tim Burton would create. This especially since I think Helen Bonham Carter wore a similar outfit in Sweeny Todd.

89. A rose headdress surely makes an impression.

Well, the roses are certainly stunning. But the make up seems somewhat terrifying.

Well, the roses are certainly stunning. But the make up seems somewhat terrifying.

90. How about roses on your hat?

Well, she doesn't dress too badly here. Still, I think the hat goes well with her Victorian dress.

Well, she doesn’t dress too badly here. Still, I think the hat goes well with her Victorian dress.

91. Unfortunately, these well dressed women seem to be all bone.

Though the two of them seem quite lively with each other. Love their hats.

Though the two of them seem quite lively with each other. Love their hats.

92. My, she has a very colorful Chiapas dress.

Well, it's in white unlike some of the others I featured. But the embroidery really stands out.

Well, it’s in white unlike some of the others I featured. But the embroidery really stands out.

93. When you’re in a big dress, you’ll need a big flower.

She even has a big parasol with her, too. Still, the rose really catches your eye.

She even has a big parasol with her, too. Still, the rose really catches your eye.

94. Perhaps you can go to a lighter shade of blue on some occasions.

Well, these women have made up their faces to match their outfits. At least to some extent, especially the one in the middle.

Well, these women have made up their faces to match their outfits. At least to some extent, especially the one in the middle.

95. Hope she’s not laced too tightly in that corset.

Well, she seems covered in flowers and has her hair all nice. But sexy Halloween costume, it is definitely not.

Well, she seems covered in flowers and has her hair all nice. But sexy Halloween costume, it is definitely not.

96. Sometimes you’ll just need a bowtie to snazz it up.

Seems to look more like a little Jack Skellington with hair and brighter clothes. Still, this is cute.

Seems to look more like a little Jack Skellington with hair and brighter clothes. Still, this is cute.

97. Who says you can’t have Lego people join in the celebration?

Well, Lego people must exist in Mexico. Seriously, they just got to.

Well, Lego people must exist in Mexico. Seriously, they just got to.

98. This man always dresses to kill for the Dia de los Muertos procession.

Yes, he stands proud in his Mexican outfit that probably serves no practical use to him besides special occasions. Love the black.

Yes, he stands proud in his Mexican outfit that probably serves no practical use to him besides special occasions. Love the black.

99. Make sure your face paint matches your outfit.

Well, she certainly has the roses and black lace nailed. Love it.

Well, she certainly has the roses and black lace nailed. Love it.

100. Now he’s reduced to a walking, talking skeleton.

Well, at least he's wearing the cape. But it still doesn't protect him from exposing his bones.

Well, at least he’s wearing the cape. But it still doesn’t protect him from exposing his bones.

Calavera Inspired Craft Projects for Dia de los Muertos

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As you can see, Dia de los Muertos is a huge holiday in Mexico and it should surprise nobody that you’ll find plenty of Day of the Dead decorations through Pinterest and Google Search. Contrary to popular notions, Dia de los Muertos is not Mexico’s Halloween though both holidays do have similar traditions like dressing in costumes, partying, skull decorations, and trick or treating in some regions. Of course, traditions can vary from town to town. Though I have seen it presented this way. Seriously, it’s not. Nevertheless, since Mexicans are among the largest US ethnic groups as well as among the fastest growing that some horrible orange man with straw hair wants to build a wall on the US-Mexican border. So I advise everyone not to vote this fucktard for president and stick with Hillary Clinton regardless of how you feel about her e-mails. Moving on, it’s not uncommon for many Dia de los Muertos decorations to contain skulls otherwise known as calaveras. You know the decorated sugar skulls. They also have bright flowers and other Mexican motifs. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Day of the Dead craft projects.

  1. Sit back and relax on this Mexican chair.
I don't think this could be done from scratch. But I do admire fine embroidery craftsmanship when I see it. Lovely.

I don’t think this could be done from scratch. But I do admire fine embroidery craftsmanship when I see it. Lovely.

2. There’s nothing more fitting than a plush skull with spiderwebs in its hair.

Even has dangling bones for earrings. And the spiderwebs are all different colors.

Even has dangling bones for earrings. And the spiderwebs are all different colors.

3. This rose headband would look great on any costumed Catrina.

Yes, people dress in costumes during this holiday. But I think this flower headband is pretty.

Yes, people dress in costumes during this holiday. But I think this flower headband is pretty.

4. Keep warm this Dia de los Muertos with this colorful quilt.

And yes, it has plenty of skulls on it for your heart's heart content. In triangle and square pattern.

And yes, it has plenty of skulls on it for your heart’s heart content. In triangle and square pattern.

5. No Day of the Dead could be without this crocheted Frida Kahlo doll.

Well, that's a dead Frida amigurumi doll no doubt. But I think she's supposed to look more decomposed.

Well, that’s a dead Frida amigurumi doll no doubt. But I think she’s supposed to look more decomposed.

6. Grace your mantle with these Day of the Dead nesting dolls.

As you can see, they all have skulls on them. They also have bright colors and symbols.

As you can see, they all have skulls on them. They also have bright colors and symbols.

7. Keep warm in the cold with this crocheted skull cap.

This one has blue flowers on it. Sure it's kind of freaky but it's well suited for Day of the Dead.

This one has blue flowers on it. Sure it’s kind of freaky but it’s well suited for Day of the Dead.

8. For your beautiful houseplants, this Frida Kahlo flower pot is for you.

Notice she's not a skull in this one. Yet, she has part of her face covered in bright flowers.

Notice she’s not a skull in this one. Yet, she has part of her face covered in bright flowers.

9. Make your Dia de los Muertos festive with this deco mesh wreath.

Has a colorful skull in the middle. And yes, the colors seem festive for a time of remembrance. But this is a Mexican holiday.

Has a colorful skull in the middle. And yes, the colors seem festive for a time of remembrance. But this is a Mexican holiday.

10. Check out this sugar skull mosaic.

I'm sure the skulls used in these are fake. But this one contains eyes akin to suns.

I’m sure the skulls used in these are fake. But this one contains eyes akin to suns.

11. This stained glass skull panel is a morbid delight.

Well, it's an elaborate skull to say so myself. Love the eyes and forehead. Yes, I know a lot of these decorations contain skulls. But what do you expect?

Well, it’s an elaborate skull to say so myself. Love the eyes and forehead. Yes, I know a lot of these decorations contain skulls. But what do you expect?

12. A colorful skull mask should always have birds and flowers.

I'm not sure if it's for a costume or for hanging on a wall. Still, like the smile.

I’m not sure if it’s for a costume or for hanging on a wall. Still, like the smile.

13. Nothing makes Dia de los Muertos complete like this skeleton quilt.

Seems like it's a Mexican version of "Dumb Ways to Die." Or as they say. "Formas Estupidas Morir."

Seems like it’s a Mexican version of “Dumb Ways to Die.” Or as they say. “Formas Estupidas Morir.” Well, at least some of the patchwork scenes.

14. This mosaic skull has a butterfly in its eye.

This one is mostly lined with pink. And I think the butterfly brings a sweet touch.

This one is mostly lined with pink. And I think the butterfly brings a sweet touch.

15. Lounge outside in the fall weather with this Dia de los Muertos chair.

This one has two skeletons in love on the back. How sweet like something in a Tim Burton movie.

This one has two skeletons in love on the back. How sweet like something in a Tim Burton movie.

16. If skulls aren’t your thing, try these skeleton nesting dolls.

Well, they're just as morbid as the other set. But they seem to have a lot of colorful decor on them.

Well, they’re just as morbid as the other set. But they seem to be richly painted.

17. Try to go out in this crocheted skull cap.

This one has a rose and eyes lined with blue. Not as fancy as the other one but still just as lovely.

This one has a rose and eyes lined with blue. Not as fancy as the other one but still just as lovely.

18. Cuddle up this Dia de los Muertos with this skull quilt.

It's as colorful a skull quilt as I've seen one. Each skull is uniquely decorated in its own way.

It’s as colorful a skull quilt as I’ve seen one. Each skull is uniquely decorated in its own way.

19. Keep clean this Day of the Dead with some skull soap.

Wonder if they have some skull soap for Halloween. Bet they have but I didn't check.

Wonder if they have some skull soap for Halloween. Bet they have but I didn’t check.

20. Dia de los Muertos is always a time to wear a flowery skull pendant.

This one has a turquoise skull. Yes, I know skull jewelry is a thing according to Etsy.

This one has a turquoise skull. Yes, I know skull jewelry is a thing according to Etsy.

21. Keep your ipad secure from evil spirits with this Day of the Dead case.

This one has a skull and a jewels on the cover. Yes, I know the skull motif is a bit creepy but get used to it.

This one has a skull and a jewels on the cover. Yes, I know the skull motif is a bit creepy but get used to it.

22. Bundle up with your very own Dia de los Muertos crocheted scarf.

Consists of crocheted skulls and roses. I know they usually don't go together, except at grave sites.

Consists of crocheted skulls and roses. I know they usually don’t go together, except at grave sites.

23. Never have I saw as skull like this so richly decorated.

Yeah, you can find some unique designs like this on Pinterest. Love the hat.

Yeah, you can find some unique designs like this on Pinterest. Love the hat.

24. “Angelica, will you marry me?”

"I thought you'd never ask." Keep in mind, this display is from a craft store. So it's all good.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Keep in mind, this display is from a craft store. So it’s all good.

25. A spiderweb should always go well with roses.

This is another headband for a costume with roses, a spiderweb, and black tulle. Still, I think it's stunning.

This is another headband for a costume with roses, a spiderweb, and black tulle. Still, I think it’s stunning.

26. Be hospitable to guests with this sugar skull wreath with roses.

Yes, roses and skulls seem to go together during Dia de los Muertos. This one is a red and white variation.

Yes, roses and skulls seem to go together during Dia de los Muertos. This one is a red and white variation.

27. How about this purple mask and flowers?

Yes, there's a skeleton hand coming out of it. And teeth under the lips. But you have to expect this.

Yes, there’s a skeleton hand coming out of it. And teeth under the lips. But you have to expect this.

28. For the Day of the Dead, these skull crosses seem like holy relics.

Well, not all of these have skulls on it. One has the Virgin Mary and the other has a mermaid. Not sure why for the latter.

Well, not all of these have skulls on it. One has the Virgin Mary and the other has a mermaid. Not sure why for the latter.

29. A blue and black skull can always use some metal inlaids.

Yes, it's another mosaic skull. And yes, you'll see a lot of these. But this one really has a lot going for it.

Yes, it’s another mosaic skull. And yes, you’ll see a lot of these. But this one really has a lot going for it.

30. This skull lamp will surely light up a room.

It even has flowers in the eyes. Of course, it's from a metal shade over a light.

It even has flowers in the eyes. Of course, it’s from a metal shade over a light.

31. This crocheted garland is great over any fireplace.

Sure it contains skulls and flowers. But you can almost hang it anywhere you please. Not sure if you can use it as a scarf.

Sure it contains skulls and flowers. But you can almost hang it anywhere you please. Not sure if you can use it as a scarf.

32. I’m sure any cat lover on Dia de los Muertos would enjoy these statues.

Yes, these are cat statues painted like skeletons. They also have other animals if you're interested.

Yes, these are cat statues painted like skeletons. They also have other animals if you’re interested.

33. The light really comes out from this skull panel.

Sure it doesn't use a lot of colors. But it has a very elaborate design few could master.

Sure it doesn’t use a lot of colors. But it has a very elaborate design few could master.

34. This skull can reflect almost anything.

This mirror tiles were either from a disco ball or a cut up mirror. Still, love the pink flower eyes.

This mirror tiles were either from a disco ball or a cut up mirror. Still, love the pink flower eyes.

35. Of course, white skulls can be pretty, too if you use marble.

Sure this one may have copper teeth. But it has a lovely purple decoration. Love it.

Sure this one may have copper teeth. But it has a lovely purple decoration. Love it.

36. Skulls and flowers always make this ceramic candelabra.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Not sure if they're mass produced or handmade. Either way, goes on my post.

I saw a few of these on Pinterest. Not sure if they’re mass produced or handmade. Either way, goes on my post.

37. With these skull pots, you can create an interesting stack of house plants.

Yes, I've seen a few of these for other holidays. Yet, each skull pot has a unique flower in it.

Yes, I’ve seen a few of these for other holidays. Yet, each skull pot has a unique flower in it.

38. Grace your front door this Dia de los Muertos with this skull and flower wreath.

Sure it might just be a normal flower wreath without the decorated skulls. But it's nevertheless stunning.

Sure it might just be a normal flower wreath without the decorated skulls. But it’s nevertheless stunning.

39. Nothing makes Dia de los Muertos worthwhile than a colorful skull banner.

Now this is a very colorful display that seems to glow in the dark. Then again, they used a bright yellow I've seen on PennDOT uniforms.

Now this is a very colorful display that seems to glow in the dark. Then again, they used a bright yellow I’ve seen on PennDOT uniforms.

40. Of course, sometimes you might need to touch it up with a few roses.

Another mosaic skull with reflective tiles. Yet, this one has flowery, cheeks, lips, and roses.

Another mosaic skull with reflective tiles. Yet, this one has flowery, cheeks, lips, and roses.

41. This Dia de los Muertos, how about pull a chair?

This one has a skull with roses and candles. Yes, it's a morbid but stunning display on the seat.

This one has a skull with roses and candles. Yes, it’s a morbid but stunning display on the seat.

42. For wreaths on Day of the Dead, the more festive the better.

This one has skulls, flowers, ribbons, and more. What else could you want?

This one has skulls, flowers, ribbons, and more. What else could you want?

43. Remember your deceased loved ones with these Dia de los Muertos candle holders.

Each one has a decorated skull design for your desires. Of course, I'm not sure these are appropriate but what do you know?

Each one has a decorated skull design for your desires. Of course, I’m not sure these are appropriate but what do you know?

44. This skull vase is great for holding flowers.

Sure people might think you're a bit too into the Addams family. But these skulls are richly decorated for Day of the Dead.

Sure people might think you’re a bit too into the Addams family (if you’re not Mexican). But these skulls are richly decorated for Day of the Dead.

45. With this chair, you can sit on Calavera Catrina’s lap.

Yes, this is the original Calavera Catrina design. However, I do like her outrageous hat which I think goes well with her blue dress.

Yes, this is the original Calavera Catrina design. However, I do like her outrageous hat which I think goes well with her blue dress.

46. This cowboy skeleton fears nobody.

Well, I see a decorated skull biting his foot. So he shouldn't spend too much time gloating.

Well, I see a decorated skull biting his foot. So he shouldn’t spend too much time gloating.

47. You could hold these felt skulls in the palm of your hand.

They also have sequin eyes and come in variety of bright colors. Yet, not all seem to smile.

They also have sequin eyes and come in variety of bright colors. Yet, not all seem to smile.

48. Curl up on your couch with this skull pillow.

Has a lot of impressive embroidery. Love the flowery eyes and other motifs.

Has a lot of impressive embroidery. Love the flowery eyes and other motifs.

49. This tapestry makes a great Day of the Dead garden flag.

Of course, by that time of year the garden is mostly dead anyway. Or at least it's dead in my neck of the woods.

Of course, by that time of year the garden is mostly dead anyway. Or at least it’s dead in my neck of the woods.

50. This mosaic skull always looks bright in the right circumstances.

Not sure why it has clocks in its eyes. Maybe they know everything. I was just joking.

Not sure why it has clocks in its eyes. Maybe they know everything. I was just joking.

51. Sure you may have heard of a sugar skull? But have ever seen a pumpkin skull before?

Yes, I'm aware some Halloween traditions get intermeshed with Dia de los Muertos. But this is a very nice rendition. The spider, skeleton hand, and flowers is spot on.

Yes, I’m aware some Halloween traditions get intermeshed with Dia de los Muertos. But this is a very nice rendition. The spider, skeleton hand, and flowers is spot on.

52. On the Day of the Dead, a skull sampler is always most becoming.

However, it'll take more work than if it's just for Halloween. Of course, you can use this one for Halloween, too.

However, it’ll take more work than if it’s just for Halloween. Of course, you can use this one for Halloween, too.

53. Guess you can never come across a wooden skull panel like this.

Well, it's on a square panel with a skull painted on it. But I do love the purple flower eyes.

Well, it’s on a square panel with a skull painted on it. But I do love the purple flower eyes.

54. You can never overdo the orange flowers with this wreath.

This one has so many decorations going for it. Love the skull with heart eyes and veil.

This one has so many decorations going for it. Love the skull with heart eyes and veil.

55. Dress in style this Dia de los Muertos with these beaded skull earrings.

The flowers are beaded. The skulls aren't. But I don't think they go with the pendant I showed earlier.

The flowers are beaded. The skulls aren’t. But I don’t think they go with the pendant I showed earlier.

56. Celebrate Dia de los Muertos with this skeletal flamingo in your yard.

I'm sure there are plenty of Mexicans who live in Florida. Since it would be a perfect lawn decoration for them this time of year.

I’m sure there are plenty of Mexicans who live in Florida. Since it would be a perfect lawn decoration for them this time of year.

57. Never thought I’d ever see a sugar skull jack-o-lantern before.

Well, these only have only the eyes and nose carved out. I guess they were painted before they met the knife.

Well, these only have only the eyes and nose carved out. I guess they were painted before they met the knife.

58. This skull stained glass mosaic panel is great for any window.

Might freak out some of the neighbors in the process. But it certainly has an intricate design.

Might freak out some of the neighbors in the process. But it certainly has an intricate design.

59. This skull suncatcher seems content with nature.

This one has roses with a butterfly. Not very decorative but surely fitting.

This one has roses with a butterfly. Not very decorative but surely fitting.

60. This shiny skull mosaic bears a nice, shiny cross.

Well, Dia de los Muertos does have some religious elements in it. But these tiles seem highly reflective if you ask me.

Well, Dia de los Muertos does have some religious elements in it. But these tiles seem highly reflective if you ask me.

61. With these Dia de los Muertos earrings and necklace, you’ll be talk of the town.

Contains roses as well as beads in rainbow colors. Yes, seems morbid but we're talking about a holiday centering around death here.

Contains roses as well as beads in rainbow colors. Yes, seems morbid but we’re talking about a holiday centering around death here.

62. Honor your loved ones this Day of the Dead with this colorful inviting shrine.

Seems like it was straight out of IKEA before being brightly painted. Of course, there are skulls on the border.

Seems like it was straight out of IKEA before being brightly painted. Of course, there are skulls on the border.

63. Keep almost anything safe with these skull bottles or dispensers.

From how I see it, they look like soap dispensers to me. Colorful skulls but soap dispensers nevertheless.

From how I see it, they look like soap dispensers to me. Colorful skulls but soap dispensers nevertheless.

64. This colorful skull lamp would certainly wow visitors.

This one even has crazy eyes to hypnotize. Still, love the flowers.

This one even has crazy eyes to hypnotize. Still, love the flowers.

65. Don’t like wreaths? Hope this Catrina hanging suits your fancy.

This may be of Frida Kahlo but I'm not really sure. Sometimes it's hard to tell by the skull alone.

This may be of Frida Kahlo but I’m not really sure. Sometimes it’s hard to tell by the skull alone.

66. This skull wreath is all full with ribbons.

Well, it has ribbons, all right. And it's surely festive even with the skull in the center.

Well, it has ribbons, all right. And it’s surely festive even with the skull in the center.

67. Delight your guests this Dia de los Muertos with these skull dishes.

This set features a man, woman, dog and cat. Woman has marigolds for hair and a butterfly decoration.

This set features a man, woman, dog and cat. Woman has marigolds for hair and a butterfly decoration.

68. In this felt sampler, this skull has a rainbow headdress of flowers and grapes.

Well, the colors aren't in order, but still. Again, I'm not sure if it's supposed to be Frida Kahlo since she appears a lot in these decorations.

Well, the colors aren’t in order, but still. Again, I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be Frida Kahlo since she appears a lot in these decorations.

69. Never saw such a fine skull mask like this before.

So I guess this one is for hanging. Still, love the pearly whites and the bejeweled eye sockets. Very classy.

So I guess this one is for hanging. Still, love the pearly whites and the bejeweled eye sockets. Very classy.

70. Keep your belongings secure with this little coffin box.

And the one for the Day of the Dead gets a very flowery finish. Love the pink flowery border on this. Stunning.

And the one for the Day of the Dead gets a very flowery finish. Love the pink flowery border on this. Stunning.

71. Dazzle everyone with this flowery Dia de los Muertos necklace.

Has a skull in the center but flowers all over the place. Hope it doesn't weigh anyone down.

Has a skull in the center but flowers all over the place. Hope it doesn’t weigh anyone down.

72. This skull bottle lamp can change in to many different colors.

Well, as far as Pinterest is concerned. But I have some idea, that there's something funky going on inside.

Well, as far as Pinterest is concerned. But I have some idea, that there’s something funky going on inside.

73. This owl eyed skull jack-o-lantern is a real hoot.

Okay, it may not be an owl since I saw it had teeth which owls don't have. But the eyes and nose sure made me think that.

Okay, it may not be an owl since I saw it had teeth which owls don’t have. But the eyes and nose sure made me think that.

74. This white skull chair has a few flowery touches.

This is contrary to the black one we saw before. Still, you have to admire the fine paint job.

This is contrary to the black one we saw before. Still, you have to admire the fine paint job.

75. This skull scarf will keep you warm in the dead of fall.

Contains all the skulls and flowers for your desires. And in a black background for added morbidity.

Contains all the skulls and flowers for your desires. And in a black background for added morbidity.

76. Bet you’d want to cuddle with this skull pillow.

Well, this one is in a skull shape. Contains a purple cross and pink flower eyes.

Well, this one is in a skull shape. Contains a purple cross and pink flower eyes.

77. Perhaps you might want to take a cup and stay awhile.

Seems like these skull mugs almost give the word a whole new meaning. Like the one with the sacred heart.

Seems like these skull mugs almost give the word a whole new meaning. Like the one with the sacred heart.

78. Serve a drink at your Dia de los Muertos party with this mosaic bottle.

I had one featured in my Cinco de Mayo craft post in April. But not nearly as colorful as this one.

I had one featured in my Cinco de Mayo craft post in April. But not nearly as colorful as this one.

79. Never came across a skull mosaic with porcelain flower eyes before.

OR a nose for that matter. Yes, some of these skulls can be very elaborate if you use the right tiles.

OR a nose for that matter. Yes, some of these skulls can be very elaborate if you use the right tiles.

80. Sometimes a partial mask can be better than the full face.

Even a partial mask can contain skull eyes and a skull nose. The flower is a great touch.

Even a partial mask can contain skull eyes and a skull nose. The flower is a great touch.

81. Hey, is that a skeletal mariachi band?

You may not hear any music from these guys. But they sure make a great lawn decoration trio.

You may not hear any music from these guys. But they sure make a great lawn decoration trio.

82. This skull necklace is almost to die for on Dia de los Muertos.

Again, I almost thought this was an owl due to the big yes. And maybe it is. But now I don't think so.

Again, I almost thought this was an owl due to the big yes. And maybe it is. But now I don’t think so.

83. For double glass doors, these colorful skull wreaths are perfect.

As far as I can tell, they seem to come in a set. Still, you can't help but adore them.

As far as I can tell, they seem to come in a set. Still, you can’t help but adore them.

84. If you’re serving tea or hot water, here’s the perfect pot for you.

Yes, this is a pottery tea pot or kettle. And it has a skull design to fit with the occasion.

Yes, this is a pottery tea pot or kettle. And it has a skull design to fit with the occasion.

85. These turquoise skull and rose earrings are surely a delight.

If these skulls were surrounded by other flowers, they'd be perfect with the pendant necklace. But they don't. Then again, sometimes it's best to be simple.

If these skulls were surrounded by other flowers, they’d be perfect with the pendant necklace. But they don’t. Then again, sometimes it’s best to be simple.

86. This mosaic Frida Kahlo skull is a work of a true artist.

Like Frida Kahlo was herself. At least I could tell it's here here. Love the earrings.

Like Frida Kahlo was herself. At least I could tell it’s here here. Love the earrings.

87. This Mexican chair is loaded with colors and birds.

It has two peacocks on the seat. Not to mention, even the chair back and legs are painted in bright colors.

It has two peacocks on the seat. Not to mention, even the chair back and legs are painted in bright colors.

88. A mosaic skull could never have too many flowers.

This one has flowers almost everywhere. It even has roses on the forehead.

This one has flowers almost everywhere. It even has roses on the forehead.

89. This owl skeleton figure is especially flowery.

See, I told you they had other animals. And I definitely know this is an owl.

See, I told you they had other animals. And I definitely know this is an owl.

90. For a more elaborate display, you can’t go wrong with this skull headdress.

Might make people scratch their heads. But I'm sure it'll go well with whatever dress you pick.

Might make people scratch their heads. But I’m sure it’ll go well with whatever dress you pick.

91. For a more simple look, this skull wreath comes with a few homey touches.

Well, it only has a few skulls on it along with some flowers. But I do think it goes great with any front door.

Well, it only has a few skulls on it along with some flowers. But I do think it goes great with any front door.

92. This dancing skeleton quilt will sure make things lively at your home.

Yeah, you see a lot of skeletons depicted this way this time of year. Of course, what do you expect?

Yeah, you see a lot of skeletons depicted this way this time of year. Of course, what do you expect?

93. For a morbid hair piece, these skull flowers will satisfy.

And I'm sure they will on Dia de los Muertos. Available in 7 different colors.

And I’m sure they will on Dia de los Muertos. Available in 7 different colors.

94. This skull pillow and rug always go hand in hand.

Doesn't hurt they're both crocheted in the same pattern. As far as I can tell.

Doesn’t hurt they’re both crocheted in the same pattern. As far as I can tell.

95. For a more flowery cross, these may strike your fancy.

Available in several bright colors. Each one also has flowers, too.

Available in several bright colors. Each one also has flowers, too.

96. Hope your little one has hours of fun on this skeletal rocking horse.

Okay, that's pretty clever and creative. Love how the bones are painted.

Okay, that’s pretty clever and creative. Love how the bones are painted.

97. Raise a glass to your deceased loved ones with these skull wine glasses.

I'm sure these are only just for decoration. Still, they come in a wide variety of colors.

I’m sure these are only just for decoration. Still, they come in a wide variety of colors.

98. This turquoise rose and skull bracelet is all the rage on Dia de los Muertos.

This one goes with the turquoise skull and rose earrings. So I had to include it.

This one goes with the turquoise skull and rose earrings. So I had to include it.

99. For a mask like this one, you’d almost mistake it for a masterpiece.

This one is painted like a skull with a wide array of purple feathers and flowers. Like the purple butterfly.

This one is painted like a skull with a wide array of purple flowers. Like the purple butterfly.

100. With this skull lounge chair, you can lounge around like there’s no tomorrow.

Yes, this skull lounge chair is more decorated than it's Halloween counterpart. But it still has the skull eyes and nose.

Yes, this skull lounge chair is more decorated than it’s Halloween counterpart. But it still has the skull eyes and nose.

Day of the Dead Worthy Treats for Dia de los Muertos

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Around the same time as Halloween, there is Dia de los Muertos in Mexico which unlike Cinco de Mayo is actually a holiday Mexicans celebrate. However, since I’m more focused on Halloween posts this time of year, I usually tend to skip it. But since the US has so many Mexicans living the country, I think I should acknowledge this occasion. Anyway, Dia de los Muertos is a 3 day holiday from October 31 to November 2 when family and friends gather to pray for and remember loved ones who have died and help support their spiritual journey.In Mexico, this is a public holiday as well as was inscribed by UNESCO in the Representative List of the Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity. However, what you may not know that it’s a blend of the the Catholic feast of All Saints and Souls, Halloween, and an Aztec celebration that used to take place in the beginning of summer that was dedicated to the goddess Mictecacihuatl. Traditions include building private altars called ofrendas, honoring the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, and their favorite foods and beverages, as well as visiting graves with these gifts. They also leave possessions of the deceased, too. Sometimes there are parties and processions as well, which is where I come in. There are even people who dress in costumes. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of treats pertaining to the Day of the Dead.

  1. Skull cookies always are great on any Day of the Dead dessert platter.
A lot of these treats featured in this post will have decorated skulls on them. These are in multiple colors.

A lot of these treats featured in this post will have decorated skulls on them. These are in multiple colors.

2. Take a bite out of these skull cupcakes.

These ones seem to be covered in flowers. They also seem quite cute, which is kind of disturbing.

These ones seem to be covered in flowers. They also seem quite cute, which is kind of disturbing.

3. No Dia de los Muertos party is a hit without this skull cake.

Well, this one has pink flowers on it. Not sure what to think about the teeth.

Well, this one has pink flowers on it. Not sure what to think about the teeth.

4. No Dia de los Muertos cake is complete without a dead flower girl.

I think this is supposed to be a cutesy rendition of La Calavera Catrina. More on her later.

I think this is supposed to be a cutesy rendition of La Calavera Catrina. More on her later.

5. This Day of the Dead cake is quite two faced.

Though once a figure of political satire, La Calavera Catrina may have been inspired by the Aztec Mictecacihuatl, Lady of the Dead and Keeper of Bones. She also has roots in the Spanish Dance of Death.

Though once a figure of political satire, La Calavera Catrina may have been inspired by the Aztec Mictecacihuatl, Lady of the Dead and Keeper of Bones. She also has roots in the Spanish Dance of Death.

6. These little skull cupcakes are worth dying for.

Seem quite adorable for an image that pertains to death. Love the flowers and icing though.

Seem quite adorable for an image that pertains to death. Love the flowers and icing though.

7. Each skull cookie can have its unique design.

Guess these were professionally made. And each seems unique in its own way.

Guess these were professionally made. And each seems unique in its own way.

8. For a flowery touch, go with some cactus cupcakes.

Well, I can't have them all be skulls. Besides, cacti grow in Mexico so I'm sure these are appropriate.

Well, I can’t have them all be skulls. Besides, cacti grow in Mexico so I’m sure these are appropriate.

9. Sometimes a skull cake just needs the right hat.

There are even skulls on the top and the sides. Yes, it's a really dead cake for a dead celebration.

There are even skulls on the top and the sides. Yes, it’s a really dead cake for a dead celebration.

10. On the Day of the Dead, fiesta colors are always great with skulls.

Then again, Mexicans usually prefer bright colors anyway. Though each skull is unique in it's own way while the icing is in pink, yellow, and cyan.

Then again, Mexicans usually prefer bright colors anyway. Though each skull is unique in it’s own way while the icing is in pink, yellow, and cyan.

11. Sometimes a purple skull cake is a real treat.

Yes, it looks quite morbid as most of these treats go. But since I love purple, I find it hard to resist.

Yes, it looks quite morbid as most of these treats go. But since I love purple, I find it hard to resist.

12. Even chocolate skull cookies can be a tasty treat.

Wonder how long it took to decorate these. My guess is that they were professionally made. Hope they're delicious.

Wonder how long it took to decorate these. My guess is that they were professionally made. Hope they’re delicious.

13. You can’t go wrong with this Skull Rice Krispie cake on your dessert platter.

Doesn't hurt that it's decorated with candy like Smarties and gumdrops. Though they're not the most edible decorations around.

Doesn’t hurt that it’s decorated with candy like Smarties and gumdrops. Though they’re not the most edible decorations around.

14. This skull cake comes in its bejeweled glory.

Either those pieces are candy or are merely inedible. I don't know which.

Either those pieces are candy or are merely inedible. I don’t know which.

15. Want to bite into these sugar skull chocolate brownies?

Well, they may not be colorful. But they're sure as decorative as the other skulls on here.

Well, they may not be colorful. But they’re sure as decorative as the other skulls on here.

16. Have you ever sat through a skeleton serenade.

Like how he has spiky hair and a flowery guitar. Also, love the flowers.

Like how he has spiky hair and a flowery guitar. Also, love the flowers.

17. Heard of a gingerbread man? How about a gingerbread skeleton?

This one even has flowers and well decorated bones. And I make no bones about that.

This one even has flowers and well decorated bones. And I make no bones about that.

18. Skull cookies can also be as dazzling in black and white.

Yet, I'm not sure if these professionally made cookies come cheap either. But they're just as elaborate.

Yet, I’m not sure if these professionally made cookies come cheap either. But they’re just as elaborate.

19. A skull cake should always have flowers.

Don't forget the red eyes, too, which might make it creepier. Could you imagine eating a cake like this?

Don’t forget the red eyes, too, which might make it creepier. Could you imagine eating a cake like this?

20. If you like cats, I have just the cookie for you.

Yes, this is a skeleton cat cookie. And yes, it has a multi-colored rib cage. Don't ask me about it. I wasn't consulted.

Yes, this is a skeleton cat cookie. And yes, it has a multi-colored rib cage. Don’t ask me about it. I wasn’t consulted.

21. Grace your fiesta platter with these gingerbread skull cookies.

I guess these go with the other gingerbread skeleton cookies. Love how each one is decorated though.

I guess these go with the other gingerbread skeleton cookies. Love how each one is decorated though.

22. This purple skull cake comes with purple flowers.

Also comes with flowery eyes and purple ribbons. Though I wouldn't want to eat the ribbons.

Also comes with flowery eyes and purple ribbons. Though I wouldn’t want to eat the ribbons.

23. To go with a Dia de los Muertos skull cake, check out these cake pops.

Yes, these are skull cake pops with roses in them. But each of them sure look just as lovely.

Yes, these are skull cake pops with roses in them. But each of them sure look just as lovely.

24. This Calavera Catrina cake comes with flowery eyes.

Kind of resembles a Mexican Tim Burton character. Love the skirt.

Kind of resembles a Mexican Tim Burton character. Love the skirt.

25. Of course, these skull cupcakes shall do quite nicely on any dessert platter.

Well, they do have all the flowery trimmings. But not all the skulls are decorated.

Well, they do have all the flowery trimmings. But not all the skulls are decorated.

26. This flowery skull cake can almost be considered a work of art.

Well, I do love the purple flower eyes on this one. Also think the rose is ornately painted.

Well, I do love the purple flower eyes on this one. Also think the rose is ornately painted.

27. How about a skull cake in blue?

Well, this one seems really unique. The purple teeth and green flower eyes sure are creepy.

Well, this one seems really unique. The purple teeth and green flower eyes sure are creepy.

28. Nothing makes Day of the Dead like these sugar skull marshmallows.

Wonder how people decorate these. I mean it can't be easy to put icing on a marshmallow like that.

Wonder how people decorate these. I mean it can’t be easy to put icing on a marshmallow like that.

29. For your Dia de los Muertos party, you can’t go wrong with these skull pizzas.

These are covered in tomato sauce and cheese with veggie features. Bet you can't resist these.

These are covered in tomato sauce and cheese with veggie features. Bet you can’t resist these.

30. For lunch on Day of a Dead, take a bite out of this skull sandwich.

The jelly on this one makes it look a bit bloody. But I love how they used seeds for the features.

The jelly on this one makes it look a bit bloody. But I love how they used seeds for the features.

31. Of course, some cakes go over the top.

Now this one may be festive but it's just so outlandish. Bet it didn't come cheap.

Now this one may be festive but it’s just so outlandish. Bet it didn’t come cheap.

32. These Hello Kitty Dia de los Muertos cookies are a real treat.

Yes, these do exist. And yes, many will find them adorable. Not sure about the witch hat though.

Yes, these do exist. And yes, many will find them adorable. Not sure about the witch hat though.

33. Nothing makes your Day of the Dead party a hit like these brownie bites.

Some of these have skulls on them. Some of them have bones. What you choose is up to you.

Some of these have skulls on them. Some of them have bones. What you choose is up to you.

34. If you love the Day of the Dead, then you’ll enjoy these apple and cheese empanadas.

Guess these are small apple pies. Like how this skull one has heart eyes.

Guess these are small apple pies. Like how this skull one has heart eyes.

35. Heard of candy apples? How about candy apple skulls?

Well, that's one unique way to decorate a skull besides cakes and cupcakes. Beautifully painted.

Well, that’s one unique way to decorate a skull besides cakes and cupcakes. Beautifully painted.

36. This skull cake is all flowered out.

Guess this was made at a professional bakery and didn't come cheap. Love the flower eyes and wreath.

Guess this was made at a professional bakery and didn’t come cheap. Love the flower eyes and wreath.

37. These cactus cupcakes come in all shapes and sizes.

Well, one of them is a rose but that's beside the point. Yet, you see what I mean.

Well, one of them is a rose but that’s beside the point. Yet, you see what I mean.

38. These Day of the Dead owl cookies will surely be a hoot.

Doesn't hurt that they're chocolate either. Still, don't know what owls have to do with the holiday but I like them.

Doesn’t hurt that they’re chocolate either. Still, don’t know what owls have to do with the holiday but I like them.

39. Sometimes it’s best to go with a simple skull head flower girl.

Well, she is surrounded by skulls but she's not supposed to be scary. Actually quite adorable to tell you the truth.

Well, she is surrounded by skulls but she’s not supposed to be scary. Actually quite adorable to tell you the truth.

40. If you can’t use icing on your cupcakes, sprinkles is the way to go.

After all, you can't paint these sugar skulls. But they nevertheless look festive.

After all, you can’t paint these sugar skulls. But they nevertheless look festive.

41. For simple treats, go with these skull Rice Krispie pops.

Each of these has a skull with a flower on it. Includes butterfly bites.

Each of these has a skull with a flower on it. Includes butterfly bites.

42. This Calavera Catrina Frida Kahlo cake is a work of art.

Frida Kahlo was an iconic Mexican artist who painted surreal self portraits. This is a fitting tribute to her.

Frida Kahlo was an iconic Mexican artist who painted surreal self portraits. This is a fitting tribute to her.

43. Never seen an intricate gingerbread skeleton like that before.

This one is even more elaborate and colorful than the other one. Even has a gold tooth to boot.

This one is even more elaborate and colorful than the other one. Even has a gold tooth to boot.

44. Always keep your sugar skull cookies uniquely decorated.

Though I think these are by a professional decorator. Honestly, someone must spend a lot of time on these.

Though I think these are by a professional decorator. Honestly, someone must spend a lot of time on these.

45. No nino could ever resist this Dia de los Muertos lunch.

Well, it has a skull cookie and some skull treats. However, let's get this straight, Dia de los Muertos isn't Mexican Halloween.

Well, it has a skull cookie and some skull treats. However, let’s get this straight, Dia de los Muertos isn’t Mexican Halloween.

46. Sometimes a simple skull cake is best.

This one uses candy and icing decorations. It's also among the most doable cake on this list.

This one uses candy and icing decorations. It’s also among the most doable cake on this list.

47. For your Dia de los Muertos, you can’t resist this kind of bread.

Well, this is Pan de Muertos or "bread of the dead." Not sure what it's used for. But I do like these bread figures.

Well, this is Pan de Muertos or “bread of the dead.” Not sure what it’s used for. But I do like these bread figures.

48. How about a skull cake encased in a coffin?

Even has cherries on the edges. Kind of morbid yet, kind of creative if you ask me.

Even has cherries on the edges. Kind of morbid yet, kind of creative if you ask me.

49. There’s nothing more Mexican at a Dia de los Muertos party like a sugar skull hummus.

Even includes vegetables as well as blue nachos to dip in. One of the most elaborate hummus displays I've seen.

Even includes vegetables as well as blue nachos to dip in. One of the most elaborate hummus displays I’ve seen.

50. These skull cake pops come with interesting attributes.

Some come with flowers. Some come with mustaches. Yet, most come with icing decor.

Some come with flowers. Some come with mustaches. Yet, most come with icing decor.

51. Impress your guests on Dia de los Muertos with this sugar skull bread.

It's kind of like the pizza one except it has no tomato sauce. But includes plenty of peppers.

It’s kind of like the pizza one except it has no tomato sauce. But includes plenty of peppers.

52. This skull cakes seems rather fruity to me.

And boy, does it use a variety, too. Even has a fruit frame to go with it.

And boy, does it use a variety, too. Even has a fruit frame to go with it.

53. Wish your guests un feliz Dia de los Muertos con estes cookies.

I don't know the Spanis word for cookie. But I do love how these are decorated.

I don’t know the Spanis word for cookie. But I do love how these are decorated.

54. When it comes to flowers, sometimes less is more.

Here we have another doable skull cake. Can also double as a Halloween cake. Then again, so can most of these treats.

Here we have another doable skull cake. Can also double as a Halloween cake. Then again, so can most of these treats.

55. This sugar skull pizza has all the toppings.

Indeed like pepperoni and veggies galore. Like the eyes and mouth.

Indeed like pepperoni and veggies galore. Like the eyes and mouth.

56. A skull cake like this comes with blue, yellow, and green flowers.

This seems somewhat toned down compared to some of the other ones. Still, the green teeth is kind of disgusting.

This seems somewhat toned down compared to some of the other ones. Still, the green teeth is kind of disgusting.

57. Sometimes the skulls can just be among the trimmings.

Like you see on this cake, which wouldn't be for Dia de los Muertos without them. Still, love the flowers.

Like you see on this cake, which wouldn’t be for Dia de los Muertos without them. Still, love the flowers.

58. You never know how elaborate a skull could be on a cake.

I think this one is for a birthday. Yet, I do like the pink flowery touches.

I think this one is for a birthday. Yet, I do like the pink flowery touches.

59. Yellow skulls and black flowers show up well in black.

This might be a wedding cake or for a birthday. I can't tell which. But I guess the ornate decor doesn't come cheap.

This might be a wedding cake or for a birthday. I can’t tell which. But I guess the ornate decor doesn’t come cheap.

60. These Oreo skulls always make tasty treats.

You almost don't want to eat them with their adorable faces. But since they're Oreos, how can you resist?

You almost don’t want to eat them with their adorable faces. But since they’re Oreos, how can you resist?

61. From the faces, these Dia de los Muertos cookies almost seem like works of art.

Some of the faces seem kind of creepy if you ask me. Includes orange flowers and butterflies.

Some of the faces seem kind of creepy if you ask me. Includes orange flowers and butterflies.

62. Sugar skulls can also take a chocolate form.

Yes, these do exist. And you can buy them in Mexico during this time of year as well.

Yes, these do exist. And you can buy them in Mexico during this time of year as well.

63. For healthier options, try a skull salad.

This treat article doesn't seem to have a lot of healthy stuff in it. Then again, sometimes you have to go with what you have.

This treat article doesn’t seem to have a lot of healthy stuff in it. Then again, sometimes you have to go with what you have.

64. Take a bite out of these sugar skull Rice Krispie treats.

Well, each seem to be bite sized and decorated. But they're nevertheless adorable.

Well, each seem to be bite sized and decorated. But they’re nevertheless adorable.

65. These sugar skull cake pops would do quite nicely on any Day of the Dead dessert platter.

These seem a bit more painted than the other ones. They also seem to look less like skulls.

These seem a bit more painted than the other ones. They also seem to look less like skulls.

66. These Frida Kahlo Oreos are an artist’s delight.

Strangely, her art might seem appropriate for the Mexican holiday as well. These are perfect with the Frida Kahlo cake.

Strangely, her art might seem appropriate for the Mexican holiday as well. These are perfect with the Frida Kahlo cake.

67. These skull candy apples come Disney approved.

Yes, these are Mickey and Minnie Mouse skull candy apples. Disney isn't just popular in the states, you know.

Yes, these are Mickey and Minnie Mouse skull candy apples. Disney isn’t just popular in the states, you know.

68. A Day of the Dead fiesta always needs a cake like this.

Has decor and flowers near the top and middle. Yet, the skulls are on the bottom, instead of what's featured.

Has decor and flowers near the top and middle. Yet, the skulls are on the bottom, instead of what’s featured.

69. There’s nothing more flowery than this Day of the Dead skull cake.

Well, the flowers are all over the skull in this one. But I can't help but adore it.

Well, the flowers are all over the skull in this one. But I can’t help but adore it.

70. Of course, no Day of the Dead party can ever be without a Catrina cake.

Well, this is an older rendition of Catrina. But she really knows how to buy a hat.

Well, this is an older rendition of Catrina. But she really knows how to buy a hat.

71. These sugar skull and cross bone cookies shall delight.

I guess these are for the Mexican pirates in your life. Then again, I'm kidding around.

I guess these are for the Mexican pirates in your life. Then again, I’m kidding around.

72. This skull cake comes with a cameo.

Just not the one Stan Lee makes in the Marvel movies. It's a kind of jewelry pendant.

Just not the one Stan Lee makes in the Marvel movies. It’s a kind of jewelry pendant.

73. Sometimes you don’t have to ice the skulls before you decorate them.

Well, as far as these sugar cookies are concerned. Yet, I guess these were made by a professional.

Well, as far as these sugar cookies are concerned. Yet, I guess these were made by a professional.

74. Don’t like sugar skulls? How about flowers?

This one is a Mexican flower cake with pots. And yes, this doesn't come cheap as well as is over the top.

This one is a Mexican flower cake with pots. And yes, this doesn’t come cheap as well as is over the top.

75. This cake has a girl on top of a hat.

Even has a heart flower wreath as well. Professionally made but I like it.

Even has a heart flower wreath as well. Professionally made but I like it.

76. Decorating these cookies requires a delicate touch.

Yes, I'm sure these require considerable time and patience fore each detail. If you mess up, you might be done.

Yes, I’m sure these require considerable time and patience fore each detail. If you mess up, you might be done.

77. Cat lovers would always want a cake like this for their Day of the Dead party.

Yes, this is a cat skeleton cake. Don't ask me how it was made. But I'm sure you can't eat the flowers.

Yes, this is a cat skeleton cake. Don’t ask me how it was made. But I’m sure you can’t eat the flowers.

78. Sometimes the most artistic skulls are done on sheet cake.

This one really brings out the colors. Not sure if a regular decorator can pull this of. But wow.

This one really brings out the colors. Not sure if a regular decorator can pull this of. But wow.

79. For Dia de los Muertos, bet you never saw such a spectacular cake like this.

This is a wedding cake and a very expensive one at that. Contains skulls, flowers, and birds galore.

This is a wedding cake and a very expensive one at that. Contains skulls, flowers, and birds galore.

80. Sometimes a simple cake design might just do the trick.

Sure it doesn't have skulls on it. But it has flowers and hearts just the same. Love it.

Sure it doesn’t have skulls on it. But it has flowers and hearts just the same. Love it.

Fiesta Worthy Cinco de Mayo Craft Projects

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While it’s contrary to popular belief in America, Cinco de Mayo isn’t Mexico’s independence day. That, mi amigo, is on Diez y Seis de Septembre. Rather it’s a holiday that’s observed to commemorate the Mexican Army’s unlikely victory against the French in on the 5th of May in 1862 called the Battle of Puebla. Note that at the time Mexico was taken over by France 6 months before that and it had previously been an independent nation since the early 1800s. This should be obvious to us Americans since Texas fought a war with them to gain independence from Mexico and that US fought a war with Mexico during the 1840s so it could take over some of its lands. So what the Mexicans were fighting for in 1862 was to regain their independence, this time from the French. Did the Battle of Puebla accomplish that? Well, in the short run. It wasn’t a strategic victory, just a symbolic one for the Mexican government which bolstered a resistance movement as well as establish a much needed national unity and patriotism. A year later, France would send 30,000 troops to defeat the Mexican Army, capture Mexico City, installed Maximilian I as “Emperor,” and occupied the country for 3 years from 1864-1867. Sure the Battle of Puebla was a significant battle since it was an unlikely victory by the Mexican Army who were against an enemy that was better equipped and outnumbered them 11,000 to 4,000. And the fact that no country in the Americas has been invaded by a European military force ever since.Yes, that’s quite impressive. But I don’t understand why Mexico would want to honor the Battle of Puebla with a holiday like Cinco de Mayo. It just makes no sense to me because you can say the same about some of the battles during the American Revolution and Americans don’t make holidays over the Battles of Trenton or Princeton. Besides, it’s said that the first Cinco de Mayo celebration wasn’t in Mexico at all, but by Mexican American miners in California in 1863. And it’s actually more of a significant holiday for Mexican Americans. In Mexico, Cinco de Mayo isn’t exactly a national holiday and its observance there is like how Americans observe Columbus Day. Sure public schools tend to be closed on May 5, nationwide in Mexico, but other than that, not much else except in Puebla and Veracruz. Nevertheless, since Cinco de Mayo is a significant holiday for Mexican Americans, then I probably should do a post on it. After all, Mexicans are the largest Latino group in the US, which makes Cinco de Mayo a major holiday in California and Texas. So for your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of Cinco de Mayo craft projects.

  1. A decomesh fiesta wreath always shows where the party is.
I have to admit, this is a lovely fiesta wreath. Like the pinata in the center.

I have to admit, this is a lovely fiesta wreath. Like the pinata in the center.

2. This flower pot is well suited for cacti.

Well, the cacti and this flower pot give it a real Mexican feel. Love how it's painted.

Well, the cacti and this flower pot give it a real Mexican feel. Love how it’s painted.

3. Empty Corona bottles always make great Cinco de Mayo vases.

Well, the water in the bottles has food coloring in it to get the transparent color look. But the flowers are lovely.

Well, the water in the bottles has food coloring in it to get the transparent color look. But the flowers are lovely.

4. Sometimes a sombrero is too pretty to wear on a Cinco de Mayo fiesta.

This one is covered in flowers and is used as an outdoor decoration. Love the ribbons, too. So pretty.

This one is covered in flowers and is used as an outdoor decoration. Love the ribbons, too. So pretty.

5. You can make a fiesta floral wreath with some ribbons, bows, and tissue paper.

The tissue paper involved with this wreath is used for flowers. But it looks quite festive just the same.

The tissue paper involved with this wreath is used for flowers. But it looks quite festive just the same.

6. Those who wish to take pride in their Chicano heritage, you may use this decorative flower pot.

This is a painted flower pot in Mexican flag colors. Like the tissue paper flower on the top.

This is a painted flower pot in Mexican flag colors. Like the tissue paper flower on the top.

7. These decorative gourds will be a fine addition to any Cinco de Mayo party.

Okay, maybe it's not decorative gourd season. But these gourds certainly have Mexican inspired art on them. So it counts.

Okay, maybe it’s not decorative gourd season. But these gourds certainly have Mexican inspired art on them. So it counts.

8. For Cinco de Mayo, you can’t go wrong with a feathered sombrero wreath.

Well, these sombreros seem to be made from styrofoam. And those pinatas seem quite small. But I like it.

Well, these sombreros seem to be made from styrofoam. And those pinatas seem quite small. But I like it.

9. Make your Cinco de Mayo hot with this spicy chili pepper wreath.

According to Pinterest, this is said to come from Martha Stewart's website. Still, I hope those chili peppers are plastic because real chili peppers should only be used for cooking.

According to Pinterest, this is said to come from Martha Stewart’s website. Still, I hope those chili peppers are plastic because real chili peppers should only be used for cooking.

10. Don’t live where’s there’s cacti? How about use rocks instead?

I have to admit, painting rock cacti is pretty creative. I recommend this for Chicanos who might celebrate Cinco de Mayo in my neck of the woods.

I have to admit, painting rock cacti is pretty creative. I recommend this for Chicanos who might celebrate Cinco de Mayo in my neck of the woods.

11. For Cinco de Mayo, sometimes a multicolored ribbon wreath is all you need on your front door.

Well, that certainly looks festive. Love the bright colors and ribbons on this one.

Well, that certainly looks festive. Love the bright colors and ribbons on this one.

12. Who can ever celebrate Cinco de Mayo without these amigurumi?

Sure they may denote Mexican food stereotypes like chili peppers, tacos, margaritas, and that square bread thing. But these are adorable.

Sure they may denote Mexican food stereotypes like chili peppers, tacos, margaritas, and that square bread thing. But these are adorable.

13. In preparing for your Cinco de Mayo party, it sometimes helps if you use a ceiling hanging or two.

Not sure if it's a craft project or not. But if it is, it's probably made by someone with too much time on their hands. Still, it's quite lovely.

Not sure if it’s a craft project or not. But if it is, it’s probably made by someone with too much time on their hands. Still, it’s quite lovely.

14. Nothing makes your food look more festive on Cinco de Mayo than this Mexican dish.

You were probably thinking I was going to show food. But this is a Mexican inspired dish which has a lovely design on it.

You were probably thinking I was going to show food. But this is a Mexican inspired dish which has a lovely design on it.

15. A wreath like this on Cinco de Mayo always denotes a fiesta going on.

Because it says "fiesta" on the wreath. And it's decorated in bright colors, flowers, and ribbons.

Because it says “fiesta” on the wreath. And it’s decorated in bright colors, flowers, and ribbons.

16. You heard of tacos and pinatas? Well, here’s a taco pinata.

I'm sure you don't want to eat that. But I have to admit, it's pretty funny and charming.

I’m sure you don’t want to eat that. But I have to admit, it’s pretty funny and charming.

17. These fiesta birds would surely make a festive presence.

I think this might be a kid craft project of some sort. But I don't think these were made by kids though. The detail looks too intricate.

I think this might be a kid craft project of some sort. But I don’t think these were made by kids though. The detail looks too intricate.

18. For your Cinco de Mayo fiesta, these pinata candle holders would make fine centerpieces on any table.

Well, each one is decorated with flowers and pinatas. Quite festive and very creative if I say so myself.

Well, each one is decorated with flowers and pinatas. Quite festive and very creative if I say so myself.

19. Nothing shows you where the margaritas are than a wreath of small umbrellas.

Okay, I know some people use Cinco de Mayo as a way of wasting away again in Margaritaville. Still, this could also be used for luau parties.

Okay, I know some people use Cinco de Mayo as a way of wasting away again in Margaritaville. Still, this could also be used for luau parties.

20. For Cinco de Mayo a festive flower pot is great for orange flowers.

I like how this flower pot is painted. And it seems that the front has a Spanish word on it for mermaid.

I like how this flower pot is painted. And it seems that the front has a Spanish word on it for mermaid.

21. Nothing makes a better clock on Cinco de Mayo than one like this.

This one also has Spanish words on it. But I could tell it's Mexican inspired because it has a sugar skull at the 9.

This one also has Spanish words on it. But I could tell it’s Mexican inspired because it has a sugar skull at the 9.

22. On Cinco de Mayo, this chili pepper margarita glass is hot stuff.

However, if you drink too many margaritas on Cinco de Mayo, you might soon be searching for your lost shaker of salt. Well, that's what Jimmy Buffett says.

However, if you drink too many margaritas on Cinco de Mayo, you might soon be searching for your lost shaker of salt. Well, that’s what Jimmy Buffett says.

23. Bell peppers make great Cinco de Mayo candle holders.

And they come in 4 colors: orange, green, yellow, and red. Unfortunately, Dios didn't get around to creating a blue or purple one.

And they come in 4 colors: orange, green, yellow, and red. Unfortunately, Dios didn’t get around to creating a blue or purple one.

24. On Cinco de Mayo, kick back in these Mexican styled ottomans.

Yes, I know I'm putting these on for Cinco de Mayo. But I wouldn't recommend anyone to buy these to use for a once a year decoration. Furniture must be used year round.

Yes, I know I’m putting these on for Cinco de Mayo. But I wouldn’t recommend anyone to buy these to use for a once a year decoration. Furniture must be used year round.

25. Well, that’s a lovely fiesta floral centerpiece.

Well, I found this under Cinco de Mayo crafts on Pinterest. So it better be used for the holiday. Still, it's beautiful.

Well, I found this under Cinco de Mayo crafts on Pinterest. So it better be used for the holiday. Still, it’s beautiful.

26. Can’t get cacti? How about make some cacti sculptures?

Well, I think these might be made of clay. But you have to appreciate the work put into them. Like the small saguaro.

Well, I think these might be made of clay. But you have to appreciate the work put into them. Like the small saguaro.

27. Nothing makes a better fiesta table than a mosaic one like this.

Once again, furniture should be used year round. I'm just putting this one up because it looks Mexican inspired. And it's very pretty.

Once again, furniture should be used year round. I’m just putting this one up because it looks Mexican inspired. And it’s very pretty.

28. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a wreath like this on your front door.

This one is of the Mexican flag. I kind of wish it'd include an eagle with a snake in its mouth. But you can't have everything.

This one is of the Mexican flag. I kind of wish it’d include an eagle with a snake in its mouth. But you can’t have everything.

29. On Cinco de Mayo, you can’t go wrong with a cornhusk doll.

To be fair, cornhusk dolls were also prominent in the US. However, this one is dressed as a Mexican dancer.

To be fair, cornhusk dolls were also prominent in the US. However, this one is dressed as a Mexican dancer.

30. Pinatas can come in any size.

Sure you might not get much candy out of it if you break it. But it's adorable.

Sure you might not get much candy out of it if you break it. But it’s adorable.

31. How would you like a decomesh flower wreath like this at your gate?

This has to be a big wreath since gate entrances are usually wider. Nevertheless, it's lovely to behold.

This has to be a big wreath since gate entrances are usually wider. Nevertheless, it’s lovely to behold.

32. A glittery cactus will always stand out at any fiesta.

I'm sure these are fake cacti in the pot. But they sure do sparkle.

I’m sure these are fake cacti in the pot. But they sure do sparkle.

33. Celebrate your Cinco de Mayo with a lovely decomesh wreath like this at your front door.

Yes, it's another Cinco de Mayo wreath. I have quite a few of them on this post. But this one has thicker ribbons and a sombrero on top.

Yes, it’s another Cinco de Mayo wreath. I have quite a few of them on this post. But this one has thicker ribbons and a sombrero on top.

34. Got empty glass bottles? Have them say, “Ole!”

I have to admit this is funny. Like how bottles are dressed like banditos with their own mustaches and sombreros.

I have to admit this is funny. Like how bottles are dressed like banditos with their own mustaches and sombreros.

35. On Cinco de Mayo, sometimes 3 wreaths are better than one.

This is especially when they're strung together and look the same. Can't help but love this though.

This is especially when they’re strung together and look the same. Can’t help but love this though.

36. Now that you’ve hunted down a pinata, perhaps use its skin for interior decorating.

This is a pinata skin rug which I don't think is possible to do. Still, I think its hilarious.

This is a pinata skin rug which I don’t think is possible to do. Still, I think its hilarious.

37. Painted cacti always has to match with painted pots.

Yes, I know these are rocks painted as cacti. But at least these are in appropriate Mexican inspired painted flower pots.

Yes, I know these are rocks painted as cacti. But at least these are in appropriate Mexican inspired painted flower pots.

38. “Aaaah! There’s an invisible mariachi in my room!”

Didn't know the Invisible Man celebrated Cinco de Mayo considering that he's supposed to be British. Still, this is funny.

Didn’t know the Invisible Man celebrated Cinco de Mayo considering that he’s supposed to be British. Still, this is funny.

39. Never seen a chair as colorful as this.

Well, it may not be for Cinco de Mayo. But it's sure Mexican inspired. So it goes on.

Well, it may not be for Cinco de Mayo. But it’s sure Mexican inspired. So it goes on.

40. Grace your couch this Cinco de Mayo with this serape throw.

Yes, I know a serape is a blanket. But I don't know if this counts as one. Still, it does have a serape color scheme.

Yes, I know a serape is a blanket. But I don’t know if this counts as one. Still, it does have a serape color scheme.

41. Your Cinco de Mayo veggies should be served on this chili pepper dip tray.

Then again, it looks quite small. But its pepper motifs make this Tex-Mex appropriate for the occasion.

Then again, it looks quite small. But its pepper motifs make this Tex-Mex appropriate for the occasion.

42. Nothing makes a splash this Cinco de Mayo than this flower pot fountain.

Then again, it doesn't seem much like an active fountain. But it's sure intricately painted. Love it.

Then again, it doesn’t seem much like an active fountain. But it’s sure intricately painted. Love it.

43. Grace your home this Cinco de Mayo with these festive flower trees.

Well, these are small and are mostly decorated in tissue paper. But they sure look festive.

Well, these are small and are mostly decorated in tissue paper. But they sure look festive.

44. On Cinco de Mayo, this sacred heart mirror looks great in any room.

Well, this is supposed to be a Mexican rendition of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Looks cool though, especially with the silver flames.

Well, this is supposed to be a Mexican rendition of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Looks cool though, especially with the silver flames.

45. Don’t have a wreath? Use a sombrero.

Now that's a fancy sombrero. Wouldn't want to put it on my front door this time of year due to the weather.

Now that’s a fancy sombrero. Wouldn’t want to put it on my front door this time of year due to the weather.

46. My. this wreath sure looks festive.

Yes, this is a very festive wreath indeed. Not because it's in bright colors with "Fiesta" on it.

Yes, this is a very festive wreath indeed. Not because it’s in bright colors with “Fiesta” on it.

47. Nothing brings in the spirit of Cinco de Mayo like this purse.

Or is it a pillow or pillow cover. Either way, Etsy says it has a colorful Mexican design on it.

Or is it a pillow or pillow cover. Either way, Etsy says it has a colorful Mexican design on it.

48. Didn’t know there was such a thing as a gilded pinata.

Well, this is a pinata with some gold spray paint on it. Though nice, I kind of prefer the colorful ones better.

Well, this is a pinata with some gold spray paint on it. Though nice, I kind of prefer the colorful ones better.

49. Step right out this Cinco de Mayo in these shoes.

Sure they're more suited for Dios de los Muertos. But they're Mexican inspired so I'll put them in this post.

Sure they’re more suited for Dia de los Muertos. But they’re Mexican inspired so I’ll put them in this post.

50. A decomesh wreath like this ensures that there’s a fiesta around the corner.

Well, this sure puts you in the fiesta spirit. Like the flowers and pinata on this.

Well, this sure puts you in the fiesta spirit. Like the flowers and pinata on this.

51. Cacti always look quite festive in sugar skull pots.

Yes, I know sugar skulls are more or less associated with Day of the Dead. Still, they're a Mexican motif and are intricately done. So they go on.

Yes, I know sugar skulls are more or less associated with Day of the Dead. Still, they’re a Mexican motif and are intricately done. So they go on.

52. These papermache sugar skulls make quite colorful Cinco de Mayo decorations.

I'm sure these weren't made by kids. Because they seem so intricately done you'd think they were created from some repressed art major.

I’m sure these weren’t made by kids. Because they seem so intricately done you’d think they were created from some repressed art major.

53. For Cinco de Mayo, this skull bottle will go well on any mantle.

I'm sure you won't be drinking anything out of this one. Because this is just for decoration. But it's lovely.

I’m sure you won’t be drinking anything out of this one. Because this is just for decoration. But it’s lovely.

54. If you have some Mexican cans, perhaps plant cacti in them.

Not sure where I could get those. But I think the cacti should feel right at home.

Not sure where I could get those. But I think the cacti should feel right at home.

55. These sugar skulls are as soft as they’re colorful.

Because they're made of felt and cotton. Nevertheless, they're sure pretty.

Because they’re made of felt and cotton. Nevertheless, they’re sure pretty.

56. You can’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo without this statue of Our Lady of Guadelupe.

Well, Our Lady of Guadelupe is a significant Mexican cultural icon. Also, at least her day of observance makes more sense than Cinco de Mayo.

Well, Our Lady of Guadelupe is a significant Mexican cultural icon. Also, at least her day of observance makes more sense than Cinco de Mayo.

57. This Mexican cross must’ve been done with holy hands.

This one is in a Mexican mosaic style. Think this might've been an Etsy listing.

This one is in a Mexican mosaic style. Think this might’ve been an Etsy listing.

58. For hanging decorations, you have to go with tissue paper flowers.

I've seen these on Pinterest and Etsy. While, indeed festive, I'm not sure where I'd put one if I had one.

I’ve seen these on Pinterest and Etsy. While, indeed festive, I’m not sure where I’d put one if I had one.

59. Ever heard of a cucumber cactus?

I've seen a lot of these, too. A lot of them are just cucumbers in pots with toothpicks in them. At least these have flowers.

I’ve seen a lot of these, too. A lot of them are just cucumbers in pots with toothpicks in them. At least these have flowers.

60. Nothing makes a better Cinco de Mayo fiesta than having a sombrero wreath at your door.

Well, this one brings out a festive mood. Like how it's decorated with ribbons, a serape, and a guitar.

Well, this one brings out a festive mood. Like how it’s decorated with ribbons, a serape, and a guitar.

61. You can’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo without a pair of maracas.

These are covered with colored duct tape. Not sure how they sound.

These are covered with colored duct tape. Not sure how they sound.

62. On Cinco de Mayo, even the margarita glasses have to have their own sombreros.

I don't know about this one. On one hand, that might be going to far. But on the other hand, looks quite charming.

I don’t know about this one. On one hand, that might be going to far. But on the other hand, looks quite charming.

63. This sombrero makes a big impression on Cinco de Mayo.

This one has a pinata, a sun, and a sunflower as well as a few other things. In any case, makes a lovely door decoration.

This one has a pinata, a sun, and a sunflower as well as a few other things. In any case, makes a lovely door decoration.

64. These sugar skulls have dazzling eyes.

They're also made from felt and are soft as can be. Love the crazy eyes though.

They’re also made from felt and are soft as can be. Love the crazy eyes though.

65. This fiesta wreath is known to say, “Ole!”

It also has a pinata near the top. Like the flowers on this one, especially the pink one.

It also has a pinata near the top. Like the flowers on this one, especially the pink one.

66. This wreath shows where the tacos are.

Because it's a taco shell wreath. Still, taco shells are food so this decoration will only last temporarily.

Because it’s a taco shell wreath. Still, taco shells are food so this decoration will only last temporarily.

67. Inside this box, you’ll find the Sacred Heart.

Well, it's Mexican inspired and listed on Etsy. So it goes on this post. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship.

Well, it’s Mexican inspired and listed on Etsy. So it goes on this post. Still, you have to admire the craftsmanship.

68. Now this is a Sacred Heart box anyone could love.

You'll find a Sacred Heart in a lot of Mexican art as far as I see. But this one is quite ornate.

You’ll find a Sacred Heart in a lot of Mexican art as far as I see. But this one is quite ornate.

69. Nothing makes a Cinco de Mayo wreath than a serape.

This one seems more simpler than the other wreaths. Maybe because it uses a serape, a guitar, and some floral decor.

This one seems more simpler than the other wreaths. Maybe because it uses a serape, a guitar, and some floral decor.

70. Remember the bigger the pinata, the bigger the impression.

I'm sure some people will be tempted to destroy this given there's a pinata in the center. But I'm positive the pinata has no candy inside.

I’m sure some people will be tempted to destroy this given there’s a pinata in the center. But I’m positive the pinata has no candy inside.

Get in the Fiesta Spirit with These Treats of Cinco de Mayo

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Now as a Caucasian American in Pennsylvania, I don’t celebrate Cinco de Mayo (though I did take Spanish in high school and college). But since most Hispanic Americans are Mexican and we have a lot of Hispanics in this country, I can’t really avoid doing a treat post on it. Contrary to popular belief, Cinco de Mayo is not the Mexican equivalent to the 4th of July. Rather it’s more like Mexican Saint Patrick’s Day, which is celebrated by Mexican Americans as a day of pride for their ethnic heritage. But instead of pertaining to religious connotations, Cinco de Mayo commemorates the anniversary of a famous Mexican battle in which their forces defeated the French on May 5, 1862. Of course, it didn’t stop the French from taking over Mexico and installing an Austrian prince as a puppet ruler under the title, “Emperor of Mexico.” But the Mexicans later fight back to regain their independence, have the Mexican puppet emperor killed, which would later drive his wife crazy (and being a sister of Belgium’s King Leopold II certainly didn’t help). Nevertheless, many people in the American Southwest who aren’t Mexican tend to celebrate this holiday as an excuse to party and to go wasting away again in Margaritaville. Still, it tends to be celebrated in places like Canada, the Caribbean, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, France, and Japan. Again, don’t ask me why. So for your Cinco de Mayo party, here are some ideas for treats for your reading pleasure.

1. No Cinco de Mayo fiesta is complete without pinata cookies with M&Ms in store.

Of course, how they keep the M&Ms in there without melting, I don't know. Then again, some must have. Still, you have to break them open.

Of course, how they keep the M&Ms in there without melting, I don’t know. Then again, some must have. Still, you have to break them open.

2. Nothing celebrates one’s Mexican heritage more than a Rice Krispie treat of the Mexican flag.

Of course, I can't do a post on treats for occasions without having a few made from Rice Krispies. They're just pretty unavoidable.

Of course, I can’t do a post on treats for occasions without having a few made from Rice Krispies. They’re just pretty unavoidable.

3. Top off your Cinco de Mayo festivities with the ultimate smash pinata cake.

Of course, you wouldn't be able to get away with these kinds of cakes during the Cinco de Mayo festivities at the penitentiary. Especially if the authorities will suspect that something's in them.

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to get away with these kinds of cakes during the Cinco de Mayo festivities at the penitentiary. Especially if the authorities will suspect that something’s in them.

4. Since you’ll probably have tacos during the Cinco de Mayo fiesta, may I suggest these would make a perfect dessert.

Now these are taco cookies, which most likely contain peanut butter, icing, and sprinkles. Well, as far as I can see. Still, at one angle, it's easy to mistake them for the real thing.

Now these are taco cookies, which most likely contain peanut butter, icing, and sprinkles. Well, as far as I can see. Still, at one angle, it’s easy to mistake them for the real thing.

5. You couldn’t ask for a better Cinco de Mayo treat than pretzel candies of Saguaro Cacti.

Unlike real cacti, these candies won't make you bleed when you touch them. But they won't help you survive if you're stuck in the desert.

Unlike real cacti, these candies won’t make you bleed when you touch them. But they won’t help you survive if you’re stuck in the desert.

6. Nothing shows off Mexican pride more than a sandwich of the Mexican flag.

Well, it had stuff sticking out of it so I guess it's a sandwich. Also, it's on a plate. Nevertheless, it's covered with guacamole, cream cheese, refried beans, and salsa.

Well, it had stuff sticking out of it so I guess it’s a sandwich. Also, it’s on a plate. Nevertheless, it’s covered with guacamole, cream cheese, refried beans, and salsa.

7. Por los ninos, you can’t go wrong with these Mexican sombrero guys cake pops.

Of course, don't use them to imitate the banditos from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, especially in front of your Mexican friends. Then again, when it gets to that point, you'd probably been drinking too many Margaritas anyway.

Of course, don’t use them to imitate the banditos from Treasure of the Sierra Madre, especially in front of your Mexican friends. Then again, when it gets to that point, you’d probably been drinking too many Margaritas anyway.

8. To go with the Mexican flag Rice Krispie treats, a Rice Krispie sombrero will do.

As if you can't come up with more ideas for Rice Krispies, there comes a sombrero made of these. It's like Rice Krispies are the cooking medium for the repressed art majors.

As if you can’t come up with more ideas for Rice Krispies, there comes a sombrero made of these. It’s like Rice Krispies are the cooking medium for the repressed art majors.

9. Nothing makes a Cinco de Mayo fiesta than topping it off with a sombrero cake.

Now this is an intricate cake probably made at a bakery. But it'll do nicely. Still, I wonder if they use the same shape for a Pilgrim hat around Thanksgiving.

Now this is an intricate cake probably made at a bakery. But it’ll do nicely. Still, I wonder if they use the same shape for a Pilgrim hat around Thanksgiving.

10. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with these Frida Kahlo cake pops.

Yes, she had a mustache. But compared to her husband Diego Rivera, she looked like a supermodel. And she was his 3rd wife. But the story of this couple is another matter altogether.

Yes, she had a mustache. But compared to her husband Diego Rivera, she looked like a supermodel. And she was his 3rd wife. But the story of this couple is another matter altogether.

11. Nothing celebrates Mexican heritage than a cake containing everything we associate Mexico with.

Then again, everything on this cake you can associate with the American Southwest. Except that you take the sombrero and serape and replace it with cowboy stuff.

Then again, everything on this cake you can associate with the American Southwest. Except that you take the sombrero and serape and replace it with cowboy stuff. Then again, you don’t see a Margarita glass.

12. To go with your Cinco de Mayo cakes, here are some Cinco de Mayo cookies.

Now these cookies are of May 5th, pinatas, Mesoamerican temple art, cacti, maracas, chili peppers, limes, Our Lady of Guadelupe, and Corona. And I identified all that without consulting Wikipedia.

Now these cookies are of May 5th, pinatas, Mesoamerican temple art, cacti, maracas, chili peppers, limes, Our Lady of Guadelupe, and Corona. And I identified all that without consulting Wikipedia.

13. For your sombrero cake, these sombrero cupcakes will go well perfectly.

Either these are sombreros or they are the kind of Mexicanized version of the hat you'd see the one guy wear in Curious George. But at least they're chocolate as far as I'm concerned.

Either these are sombreros or they are the kind of Mexicanized version of the hat you’d see the one guy wear in Curious George. But at least they’re chocolate as far as I’m concerned.

14. Bring some spice into your life this Cinco de Mayo with these nacho bowl cupcakes.

Now they almost resemble the real thing until you get a closer look. The nachos are cookies while the cheese is icing, the salsa is jelly, and jalapenos are candy.

Now they almost resemble the real thing until you get a closer look. The nachos are cookies while the cheese is icing, the salsa is jelly, and jalapenos are candy.

15. I’m sure the little ninos in your life will love these Cinco de Mayo kitties in sombreros.

Yes, they may be made from cookies, candy, and marshmallows. But even I have to admit that they're so adorable.

Yes, they may be made from cookies, candy, and marshmallows. But even I have to admit that they’re so adorable.

16. Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a Mexican flag dip tray, as far as I know.

Well, this consists of guacamole, sour cream, and tomato. Probably should've went with salsa but hey, I didn't come up with the recipe.

Well, this consists of guacamole, sour cream, and tomato. Probably should’ve went with salsa but hey, I didn’t come up with the recipe.

17. To give your Cinco de Mayo fiesta an extra spike, go with this cactus cake.

Unlike real cacti, this won't actually hurt anyone nor will it keep you from dying of dehydration. But it does have a pretty flower.

Unlike real cacti, this won’t actually hurt anyone nor will it keep you from dying of dehydration. But it does have a pretty flower.

18. To dance the night away, you can’t go wrong with these edible maracas.

Unfortunately, they're filled with Nerd candies which don't taste very good. May I suggest M&Ms instead?

Unfortunately, they’re filled with Nerd candies which don’t taste very good. May I suggest M&Ms instead?

19. For your hungry ninos, these sombrero candies make great party favors.

Now this is topped with gum drops. But I'm not sure about what kind of sheet you'd need for the brim part though. Still, pretty cute if I do say so myself.

Now this is topped with gum drops. But I’m not sure about what kind of sheet you’d need for the brim part though. Still, pretty cute if I do say so myself.

20. So if you’re having tacos for dinner on Cinco de Mayo, why not have them for dessert, too?

Now these consists of a chocolate covered waffle cone taco shell with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and M&Ms. All in all, this is a a taco sundae all smothered in chocolate. Yum!

Now these consists of a chocolate covered waffle cone taco shell with ice cream, chocolate syrup, and M&Ms. All in all, this is a a taco sundae all smothered in chocolate. Yum!

21. I’m sure your little ninos will have fun with these chili pepper treats on a stick.

Now these are adorable, especially the one with the little sombrero. Still, I'm sure they aren't made of peppers though. But I like them anyway.

Now these are adorable, especially the one with the little sombrero. Still, I’m sure they aren’t made of peppers though. But I like them anyway.

22. Don’t like Margaritas, then fill Margarita glasses with candy and cupcakes.

Now that I think about it, I kind of like these Margaritas better than the real thing. Of course, I'd fill them with peanut M&Ms though.

Now that I think about it, I kind of like these Margaritas better than the real thing. Of course, I’d fill them with peanut M&Ms though.

23. Seems like your little muchachos will love these Mexican man cookie sandwiches on sticks.

Of course, remind them that they can't use these to act out derogatory Mexican stereotypes as one may see from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. That, or the Frito Bandito.

Of course, remind them that they can’t use these to act out derogatory Mexican stereotypes as one may see from Treasure of the Sierra Madre. That, or the Frito Bandito.

24. For your nino’s Cinco de Mayo dinner, you might want to go with this tortilla sandwich.

Now this has tortilla with fried rice, carrots, beans and sour cream. Nevertheless, it's a better looking specimen than anything I would do in art class.

Now this has tortilla with fried rice, carrots, beans and sour cream. Nevertheless, it’s a better looking specimen than anything I would do in art class.

25. For a real fiesta, these sombrero cookies will work wonders for Cinco de Mayo.

Yes, these are cookies. And yes, the mound is covered in layers of multicolored icing. Still, they're a sight to behold. Bet they taste delicious.

Yes, these are cookies. And yes, the mound is covered in layers of multicolored icing. Still, they’re a sight to behold. Bet they taste delicious.

26. Go for a cold one this Cinco de Mayo with these Mexican flag popsicles.

Of course, if you have some left over, you can always save them for celebrating one's Italian heritage by passing off as Italian flag popsicles. Works much easier that way.

Of course, if you have some left over, you can always save them for celebrating one’s Italian heritage by passing off as Italian flag popsicles. Works much easier that way.

27. These cacti cupcakes will have your fiesta guests prickly for more.

Sure they may seem spikey but they won't hurt you except when it comes to possibly putting you at risk for diabetes. Nevertheless, at least they're chocolate.

Sure they may seem spikey but they won’t hurt you except when it comes to possibly putting you at risk for diabetes. Nevertheless, at least they’re chocolate.

28. Make your Cinco de Mayo fiesta complete with this Mexican flag veggie tray.

Now these consist of pea pods, red peppers, cheese sticks, and cherry tomatoes. So it's not quite like a veggie tray but close.

Now these consist of pea pods, red peppers, cheese sticks, and cherry tomatoes. So it’s not quite like a veggie tray but close.

29. Bring the fiesta spirit to your Cinco de Mayo party with these Margarita cake pops.

Let's hope they have a chocolate filling and aren't too salty. Then again, I could be wrong here.

Let’s hope they have a chocolate filling and aren’t too salty. Then again, I could be wrong here. But I wonder if they’re for people under 21.

30. I’m sure these Mexican flag jalapeno peppers will make your Cinco de Mayo fiesta a certified hit.

Well, they may be covered in icing and sugar. But at least they have some nutritional value compared to other treats on this post.

Well, they may be covered in icing and sugar. But at least they have some nutritional value compared to other treats on this post.

31. Nothing makes your Cinco de Mayo fiesta memorable than these cupcakes of all things Mexico.

These consist of sombreros, serape,s and the Mexican flag. But they all seem intricately decorated with layers of icing.

These consist of sombreros, serape,s and the Mexican flag. But they all seem intricately decorated with layers of icing.

32. These beautiful fiesta dress cupcakes will make your fiesta a sight to behold.

Not sure about the pattern for these dresses. But they're nevertheless so beautiful that you'd wonder whether to eat them.

Not sure about the pattern for these dresses. But they’re nevertheless so beautiful that you’d wonder whether it would be right to eat them.

33. Of course, you can’t have a Cinco de Mayo fiesta without these Mexican sun cookies.

Now these seem to be well above my artistic talents. Yet, the are nevertheless beautiful. They also have, "ole" written in a way that resembles a face.

Now these seem to be well above my artistic talents. Yet, the are nevertheless beautiful. They also have, “ole” written in a way that resembles a face.

34. Your Cinco de Mayo fiesta won’t get into the true spirit of Mexico unless it has a cake like its flag.

Now I'm sure you can't eat the decal of the eagle with the snake. Yet, it very much gets into the Mexican spirit indeed.

Now I’m sure you can’t eat the decal of the eagle with the snake. Yet, it very much gets into the Mexican spirit indeed.

35. If you can have tacos during meals, why not on cupcakes?

Now these are made from cookies, candies, and icing to put them together. But the cupcakes themselves are vanilla.

Now these are made from cookies, candies, and icing to put them together. But the cupcakes themselves are vanilla.

36. If you can eat tacos for dinner and lunch, you can have them for breakfast.

Now these are fruit tacos that contain almost any fruit you can think of. But they probably have more nutritional value than anything you'd find at Taco Bell.

Now these are fruit tacos that contain almost any fruit you can think of. But they probably have more nutritional value than anything you’d find at Taco Bell.

37. Seems like these taco cookies can’t wait to be eaten.

Yes, they are smiling. Yes, they are taco cookies. And yes, they are adorable. Need I say more.

Yes, they are smiling. Yes, they are taco cookies. And yes, they are adorable. Need I say more.

38. I’m sure these pinata cookies are just waiting to be broken. But good luck with getting candy out of them.

Now these are simply adorable that even their noses are smiley faces. Of course, it's kind of weird but what the hell.

Now these are simply adorable that even their noses are smiley faces. Of course, it’s kind of weird but what the hell.

39. M&Ms are certainly great when it comes to decorating maraca cookies.

And I hope they have M&Ms inside them, too. Or I will be very angry if I don't see them after breaking one open.

And I hope they have M&Ms inside them, too. Or I will be very angry if I don’t see them after breaking one open.

40. You heard about Margaritas. Now here’s some Margarita cupcakes.

Sure they may be bigger than regular cupcakes since you put them in Margarita glasses. Yet, the fact these aren't chocolate is kind of disappointing to say the least.

Sure they may be bigger than regular cupcakes since you put them in Margarita glasses. Yet, the fact these aren’t chocolate is kind of disappointing to say the least.

41. Now these cupcakes are supposed to be of nachos in guacamole.

I'm sure the guacamole is made from green icing and sprinkles. And the pot is made from chocolate cake. But these look delicious.

I’m sure the guacamole is made from green icing and sprinkles. And the pot is made from chocolate cake. But these look delicious.

42. On Cinco de Mayo, some cookies may be of basic Mexican concepts. Others can be quite intricate to say the least.

Now these are certainly beyond my level of artistry which is pretty low to begin with. Nevertheless, they are incredibly beautiful and probably decorated by repressed art majors.

Now these are certainly beyond my level of artistry which is pretty low to begin with. Nevertheless, they are incredibly beautiful and probably decorated by repressed art majors.

43. Celebrate your Cinco de Mayo with these pinata cupcakes.

Now these may be covered with icing and not have anything in them. But they're adorable. And they're chocolate, too.

Now these may be covered with icing and not have anything in them. But they’re adorable. And they’re chocolate, too.

44. Nothing says Cinco de Mayo than these meringue cacti cookies.

Yes, these are saguaro cacti with flowers on them. But they won't make you bleed when you touch them or rehydrate you in the desert.

Yes, these are saguaro cacti with flowers on them. But they won’t make you bleed when you touch them or rehydrate you in the desert.

45. Get in the Mexican spirit of Cinco de Mayo with these pinata jello shots.

Of course, a word of caution here. Just because they're jello and in bright colors, doesn't mean they're for kids. In fact, they may contain alcohol, which means they aren't suitable for anyone under 21.

Of course, a word of caution here. Just because they’re jello and in bright colors, doesn’t mean they’re for kids. In fact, they may contain alcohol, which means they aren’t suitable for anyone under 21.

46. Who says you need ice cream to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with cones?

Now these are cupcakes that contain yellow cake with rice cakes and ice cream cones. But they're nevertheless cute by any means.

Now these are cupcakes that contain yellow cake with rice cakes and ice cream cones. But they’re nevertheless cute by any means.

47. Make your Cinco de Mayo memorable with this cactus Rice Krispie treat on a stick.

It may not be as much help to you in the desert. But it's so cute by any means. Also, I love its little sombrero hat.

It may not be as much help to you in the desert. But it’s so cute by any means. Also, I love its little sombrero hat.

48. Have your little ninos wake up this Cinco de Mayo to this pancake maracas hombre in his sombrero.

Most of this consists of pancakes and bacon, especially his bacon mustache. But it's still quite adorable.

Most of this consists of pancakes and bacon, especially his bacon mustache. But it’s still quite adorable.

49. Taco cupcakes? How about taco cookies?

For once, I'd almost mistake these for the real thing due to how they photographed this. But these would go great with topping any cupcakes since they consist of cookie, sprinkles, and icing.

For once, I’d almost mistake these for the real thing due to how they photographed this. But these would go great with topping any cupcakes since they consist of cookie, sprinkles, and icing.

50. For those who don’t like taco cookies, try some tostada cookies instead.

As far as I know, the main difference between a tostada and a taco is that you eat one of them with a fork. Still, quite impressive if I do say so myself.

As far as I know, the main difference between a tostada and a taco is that you eat one of them with a fork. Still, quite impressive if I do say so myself.

Aztec Mythology Reexamined: The Gods

Mexicos eagle

Since October is National Hispanic Heritage Month,I couldn’t think of a better mythological tradition to commemorate in October than the Aztecs. Of course, the Aztecs we know actually consisted of a bunch of ethnic groups that dominated much of Mesoamerica who spoke the Nahuatl language that dominated large parts of Mexico and Central America between the 14th to 16th centuries. Still, while you may wonder why I may discuss Aztec mythology for October to commemorate National Hispanic Heritage Month while there are a lot of Hispanics who aren’t Mexican, I list my reasons here:

1. A lot of Aztec culture was adopted by a lot of from the surrounding civilizations or descended from older ones like the Toltec. In other words, they adopted and combined several traditions with their own earlier ones, which explains why they have several creation myths. And many of while many of the deities I list in this post may have been gods worshiped in other Pre-Columbian civilizations like Quetzalcoatl, we know most of them by their Aztec names.

2. While the Aztecs obviously don’t have the only mythological tradition, their mythology is better known to us than that of any civilization in Pre-Columbian (even the Mayas). This is because the Aztecs were a dominant power in the Americas until the arrival of Hernando Cortez, had a written language, and an educated populace (they were the most literate civilization in Pre-Columbian America at the time due to having a compulsory education system), and had a mythological tradition most people would’ve remembered to write down.By contrast, there’s not so much we know about Mayan and Incan mythology.

Still, Aztec mythology can be rather confusing.The Aztecs had over 100 specific deities and supernatural creatures in their myths. And like the Egyptian gods, many of them tend to have different names as well as different incarnations (either as humanoid, beast, or somewhere in between). It also doesn’t help that Aztec mythology is not known for its consistency and many of them have a lot of different origin stories. Not only that, but many tend to have names which are very hard to pronounce or spell. Still, the Aztecs really didn’t consider their deities as “gods” in the European sense since their their word for one was “teotl” which indicated a force of nature that didn’t necessarily have an Anthropomorphic Personification. And then you have the whole human sacrifice thing the Aztecs were notorious, which they practiced with creativity previously unseen by humanity (mostly to stave off a possible cosmic apocalypse), as well as their deities possessing a notion of duality with their gods being both good and evil. Still, human sacrifice victims were treated similar to Hunger Games contestants than anything, though they were mostly exempted from a fight to the death and guaranteed a place in heavenly paradise. Some would even be seen as representatives to the gods. There are also deities who tend to be the gods of the same thing and its very unclear on who’s in charge of this pantheon. Many of them could die and be reborn many times. Not to mention, their ideas on good and evil were pretty strange. For instance, your afterlife wasn’t based on how you lived, but how you died (and even if you didn’t get into Aztec heaven, the alternatives weren’t exactly hellish). Oh, and for a culture that practiced a lot of human sacrifice and war, every Aztec child was subject to compulsory education while their treatment of slaves was said to be amazing (and more like indentured servitude). So without further adieu, here are some of the major gods you’d find in the Aztec pantheon (or at least the major ones I could find pictures for).

1. Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl is perhaps one of the nicer gods of the pantheon who didn't demand a lot of sacrifices as well as the one most of us know. He's known as a creator and friend to humanity as well as associated with death and resurrection. Still, despite his parallels with Jesus, he is no saint.

Quetzalcoatl is perhaps one of the nicer gods of the pantheon who didn’t demand a lot of sacrifices as well as the one most of us know. He’s known as a creator and friend to humanity as well as associated with death and resurrection. Still, despite his parallels with Jesus, he is no saint.

AKA: “The Feathered Serpent” and “Precious Twin”

Origin: If we go by the iconography, he’s one of the oldest gods in the pantheon with a strong Mesoamerican presence. Though he may be referred by a different name in other civilizations, his feathered serpent image has been depicted in Mesoamerican art and religion at least since 900 BCE starting with the Olmec in La Venta (or as it’s popularly believed). Still, his first documented was in the first century BCE or CE in Teotihuacan which was in the Late Preclassic or Early Classic period.

Domain: God of wisdom, life, knowledge, crafts, arts, morning star, fertility, patron of the winds, dawn and the light, and lord of the West. Patron of the Aztec priesthood, merchants, and learning. Said to be a creator deity having contributed essentially to the creation of Mankind and gave them maize. Also said to invent books and the calendar as well as taught humans crafts, farming, medicine, and astronomy. Sometimes seen as a symbol of death and the resurrection. Of course, this doesn’t stop some Mormons from believing that he’s Jesus Christ (well, they’re both said to be born by a virgin in some stories). Was once said to be the mythical king of Tula (or Teotihuacan) in human form.

Pro: Well, he’s just about the only god who either opposed human sacrifice or didn’t require it (again owing to the inconsistencies). Said to create a fifth world by journeying to the Aztec underworld Mictlán, stealing the bones of the previous races from under Mictlanteuctli’s and grinding them to mix with corn (with the help of Cihuacoatl), and using his own blood from the wounds he inflicted on his ear lobes, calves, tongue, and penis it imbue the bones with new life. Said to be able to fly, very smart, and a rather tough fighter. Not to mention, he’s the Aztec god who’s the most familiar to us and whose name isn’t a nightmare to spell. Also, unlike a lot of gods in mythology, he’s able to keep it in his pants (unlike Zeus) at least when he’s sober (though he’s sometimes said to sire royal lineages or married to Ītzpāpālōtl). Still, he’s considered one of the nicest gods in the pantheon (though that’s not saying much yet the Spanish did depict him as a benevolent figure, but this was out of ignorance though). Said to be a wise and peaceful ruler of Tula who ushered in a golden age.

Con: Spends a lot of time in the mythos fighting his brother Tezcatlipoca (though neither of them were said to be explicitly good or evil or necessarily “better,” they just really hate each other and only teamed up to slay Cipatli. Still, their rivalry caused them to destroy each other’s worlds they ruled and created). Oh, and as king of Tula, he was such a hit there that none of the other gods were receiving tribute. This led to Tezcatlipoca coming to earth, worming his way through his brother’s court and getting him rip-roaringly drunk that he ended up sleeping with his sister Quetzalpetlatl (or a priestess in some stories). Ashamed, he went into self-imposed exile, burned himself to death on a funeral pyre, came back to life, and sailed to the east on a snake raft, promising to return (but probably not as Cortes, since that is more likely Spanish propaganda). He’s also capable of jealousy (I mean he and Tezcatlipoca basically overthrew Chalchiuhtlicue and ended the fourth world in a massive flood just out of envy). Also, introduced humans to alcohol and is associated with ceremonial drunkedness. Not to mention, it’s said that Tezcatlipoca has to keep him from returning to full power or everything would be destroyed. So to say that Quetzalcoatl is the Aztec equivalent to Jesus is quite of a stretch.

Symbols and Motifs: Commonly depicted as a gigantic, coiling, feathered serpent or dragon (but many artists put wings on him which he doesn’t have in Pre-Columbian iconography though legend say he’s capable of flight). His symbols are resplendent quetzels, rattlesnakes (coatl means snake in Nahuatl), crows, and macaws. In his form as the morning star (Venus), he’s depicted as a harpy eagle. As Ehecatl, he’s the wind and is represented by spider monkeys, ducks, and the wind itself. In human form, he’s seen as an old man (explaining why he’s seen as light skinned with light hair). His insignia is a beak like mask.

City: Cholula where the world’s largest pyramid was dedicated to his worship. You could also say his other notable cities were Tula, Chichen Itza, Xochicalco, and Teotihuacan.

Offerings: He usually is perfectly fine without a human sacrifice (or outright condemn it. Still, his reasons are understandable. After all, he’s said to create humanity). He was usually offered birds, snakes, and butterflies as well other animals.

2. Tezcatlipoca

Tezcatlipoca was Quetzalcoatl's rival and archenemy as well as a trickster deity and the closest thing to an Aztec Loki. Still, on his festival a young man would be chosen in his likeness and would live the life of Riley for a year before he'd sacrificed to this deity.

Tezcatlipoca was Quetzalcoatl’s rival and archenemy as well as a trickster deity and the closest thing to an Aztec Loki. Still, on his festival a young man would be chosen in his likeness and would live the life of Riley for a year before he’d sacrificed to this deity.

AKA: “Smoking Mirror,” “The Mocker,” “Enemy of Both Sides,” “Lord of the Near and the Nigh,” “The Young Man,” “Mountainheart,” “Night, Wind,” “We are his Slaves,” “Possessor of the Sky and Earth,” “Two Reed,” and “He by whom we live”

Origin: If we go by the iconography, his figure worship may date back to as early as the Olmec or Maya. If not, then Toltec.

Domain: God of providence, magic, matter and the invisible, ruler of the night, Great Bear, impalpable, ubiquity and the twilight, and the lord of the North. God of rulers, sorcerers, slaves, nobles, and warriors as well as death, discord, temptation, and change. Associated with night sky, mischief, malice, the night winds, hurricanes, the earth, obsidian, enmity, rulership, divination, jaguars, beauty, war, and strife.He’s basically a trickster deity as well as the closest thing the Aztecs had to Loki with all its implications. Said he could be invisible, omnipresent, and could see everything. Is very much one magnificent bastard. Had 4 wives.

Pro: He’s a badass and lost a right leg battling the Cipatli with Quetzalcoatl as well as won seemingly unwinnable battles in Tula. Also, since he’s the god of slaves, he’s very nice to work for and willing to punish those who mistreated theirs. He’s also easily appeasable and generous. Not to mention, he’s said to be rather good looking and one of the more powerful gods in the pantheon. Charged with keeping Quetzalcoatl from returning to full power.

Con: He’s an eternal enemy and rival of his brother Quetzalcoatl (or alter-ego if you want to think that). Basically when upset that no offerings were made to him while his brother was king of Tula that he infiltrated his court and managed to make the Feathered Serpent so drunk that he banged their sister (or priestess) and had him basically burn himself and heading to the east. Still, he’s a smooth manipulative bastard and philandering cad. Not to mention, running off with Thaloc’s first wife Xochiquetzal (which may have been against her will) resulting in the third world’s drought and destruction through fire. Not to mention, suffers from epic mood swings and always looking for a reason to cause trouble.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted as a jaguar or a young man. His symbol was a disk worn as a chest pectoral though he’s associated with smoke, mirrors, and obsidian. As a human, he’s usually portrayed with a black and yellow stripe on his face and a right foot missing (though what it’s replaced with depends on the story). May sometimes have a smoking mirror on his chest or carry smoking knife. Associated with the color black.

City: His festival was the Toxcatl which took place in May. His main temple was located in Tenochtitlan. Also worshiped in Texcoco, Tlaxcala, and Chalco.

Offerings: It was Aztec tradition for the new king to stand naked in front of his likeness while emphasizing his utter unworthiness. He’d also fast for this god as well. At his temples copal incense was burned 4 times a day. Still, during Toxcatl, the Aztec priests would choose a young man to impersonate the god and he would spend a year living like a deity, wearing jewelry, partying, marrying 4 women, and being waited on by 8 attendants. Yet, when his time was up the young man would be sacrificed at Tezcatlipoca’s temple and the priests would eat his body later. The 4 ladies would be sacrificed, too. Then a new candidate would be chosen for the following year.

3.Tlaloc

Thaloc may be one of the more unpleasant gods in the Aztec pantheon yet since he's the rain god, he's one of the more essential. Still, his abode in the heavens is said to be an earthly paradise.

Thaloc may be one of the more unpleasant gods in the Aztec pantheon yet since he’s the rain god, he’s one of the more essential. Still, his abode in the heavens is said to be an earthly paradise. Nevertheless, he’s not the best looking despite having 2 gorgeous wives.

AKA: “He who is the embodiment of Earth,” “Giver,” and “Green One”

Origin: His cult is one of the oldest and most universal in Mexico. Was likely adopted by the Aztecs from the Mayan god Chaac which they may have got from Teotihuacan. Was worshiped in Mesoamerican at least 800 years before the Aztecs.

Domain: God of rain, fertility, and lightning. Lord of water. Associated with storms and mountaintops. Also said to be the lord of the heavens which was a place for for those who died violently from phenomena associated with water, such as by lightning, drowning, and water-borne diseases. Not to mention, his place also took child sacrifice victims and those who died from leprosy, venereal disease, sores, dropsy, scabies, and gout.

Pro: Seen as a beneficial god who gave life and sustenance. Also his name isn’t a spelling nightmare. Not to mention, his home is known as a place of eternal springtime and plenty. Seemed to love his wives (despite one leaving him for Tezcatlipoca, which he handled badly but you could understand why he didn’t try to get her back).

Con: He was feared since he could send hail, thunder, and lightning. Also denied water to humanity that when Quetzalcoatl asked him to make it rain, he made it rain fire destroying the third world. Required child sacrifices and it didn’t help that he was an essential god to the Aztecs. Not to mention, adult sacrifices offered to him were flayed alive.

Symbols and Motifs: His planet form is Venus while his animal forms are herons, amphibians, snails, and possibly sea creatures. Associated with turquoise, jade, green, and blue. Usually depicted with goggle eyes, a cleft lip, and jaguar fangs (though he’s said to have 2 hot wives).

City: Mount Tlaloc was his most important shrine and had 2 shrines at Tenochtitlan and possibly the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacán. Shared the Great Temple with Huitzilopochtli. His festivals were  Atlcahualo in Februrary, Tozoztontli in March and April, and Atemoztli in December.

Offerings: He was offered human hearts from a bowl. Sacrifice victims were buried in blue paint and with seeds. Received offerings of jade, shells, vegetables, and sand. Still, he’s best known for requiring children sacrificed to him from mountain tops and they had to die crying. 7 kiddies would be sacrificed to him in and around Lake Texcoco. Also adult victims offered to him were flayed alive or drowned and their skins worn by the priests.

4.Tonatiuh

Though Tonatiuh is said to be a rather benevolent god who provides people warmth and nourishment through his rays, he demands a lot of sacrifices. Still, he did get the job rather fairly.

Though Tonatiuh is said to be a rather benevolent god who provides people warmth and nourishment through his rays, he demands a lot of sacrifices. Still, he did get the job rather fairly before letting it all go to his head.

AKA: “Movement of the Sun”

Origin: Well, he was a sun god who may have came from the Mayas (with the similar calendar design) since there’s a myth of Huitzilopochtli being the fifth sun as well, and he comes from the Mexica and Aztecs themselves.

Domain: God of the sun and leader of Tollan and heaven. Patron of jaguar and eagle warriors.

Pro: Well, he’s the fifth guy to be the sun after Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl, Thaloc, and Chalchiuhtlicue (well, in some versions at least). Oh, and when he applied for a job, he was a poor, crippled god Nanahuatzin but beat favorite Tecciztecatl for the post through courage, selflessness, and luck. Also said to bring warmth and nourishment to the Aztec people through his cosmic rays.

Con: Since becoming the sun, he demands a huge amount of sacrifices as tribute (though he did sacrifice himself to become the fifth sun). If he doesn’t get them, then he’d refuse to move through the sky unless the gods give themselves up to him. Also, turned the dawn god Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli just for insulting him (then again the dawn god isn’t very nice but still).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a sun disk or the center of the Aztec calendar.

City: Tenochtitlan.

Offerings: Requires a lot of human sacrifices each morning to revitalize but apparently may not be as much as Huitzilopochtli.

5. Xochiquetzal

Xochiquetzal was an Aztec goddess of love and perhaps one of the best looking gods in the pantheon. Still, though one of the nicer deities to humans, she's as forgiving as long as the Aztecs would sacrifice at least one virgin to her every 8 years.

Xochiquetzal was an Aztec goddess of love and perhaps one of the best looking gods in the pantheon. Still, though one of the nicer deities to humans, she’s as forgiving as long as the Aztecs would sacrifice at least one virgin to her every 8 years.

AKA: “Flower Quetzel,” “Maiden,” and “Precious Feather”

Origin: Well, she may have origins in Teotihuacan or be the Virgin of Ocotlan as well as Maya Goddess I, but the jury’s still out.

Domain: Goddess of flowers, dancing, fertility, female sexuality, love, and beauty. Protector of young mothers and patroness to pregnancy, childbirth, prostitutes, and women’s crafts like weaving and embroidery. Associated with creators of luxury items, painters, and sculptors. Representative of human desire, pleasure, vegetation, and excess. Twin sister of Xochipilli and first wife of Tlaloc.

Pro: Well, unlike many of the gods in this pantheon, she’s actually quite nice to look at according to humans and the gods themselves. Also said to be a rather forgiving goddess for human crimes despite demanding virgin sacrifices.

Con: She was Thaloc’s first wife and he took their break up hard when Tezcatlipoca snatched her up and forced her to marry him (then again, she’s been linked to other gods as well as one of the goddesses said to be Quetzalcoatl’s mom). Also said to seduce a priest and turn him into a scorpion. Still, she’s said to have a reputation as having many husbands and lovers (including her brother).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as an alluring and youthful woman. Her symbols are flowers, particularly marigolds. Sacred animals are birds and butterflies.

City: Tenochtitlan. Had a festival held in her honor every 8 years called Atamalqualiztli where worshipers wore animal masks in her honor. There was also Tepeílhuitl and Xochíhuitl.

Offerings: Had a virgin sacrificed to her every 8 years in which she was flayed alive with her skin being put on a loom before being worn. Worshipers would then engage in a ritual bloodletting and bath.

6. Xochipilli

Xochipilli is Xochiquetzal and one of the more friendly gods in the Aztec pantheon in that he's somewhat of a hippie. Still, it's kind of a relief to people in the 21st century that he's the god of gays though he's married and would do it with anyone.

Xochipilli is Xochiquetzal and one of the more friendly gods in the Aztec pantheon in that he’s somewhat of a hippie. Still, it’s kind of a relief to people in the 21st century that he’s the god of gays though he’s married and would do it with anyone.

AKA: “Flower Prince,” “Five-Flower,” and “Flower Child”

Origin: His worship at least dates to the Pre-Classic Teotihuacán or the Toltecs.

Domain: God of art, games, beauty, dance, flowers, song, feasting, creativity, soul, love, fertility, and homosexuality. Patron of gay men and male prostitutes as well as painting and writing. Twin brother (or husband) of Xochiquetzal. Associated with butterflies, excess, and poetry.

Pro: Well, being the god of gays sort of reveals that Aztec society was a rather LGBT friendly one as far as I could tell. Still, he’s said to be the closest thing in the Aztec pantheon to a hippie (which means he doesn’t demand a lot of human sacrifices). Said to turn dead warriors into hummingbirds.

Con: Despite being the god of homosexuality, he’s said to actually be bi in the mythos and married to a human girl Mayahuel (who’s said to be the goddess of booze though) and is sometimes said to be romantically linked to his sister Xochiquetzel. Also associated with tobacco and psychoactive drugs. Nevertheless, he’s reputed to be a hedonist with a playful mischievous streak.

Symbols and Motifs: Hallucinogenic plants are said to be sacred to him as well as mushrooms. Usually depicted as a youthful man though rather skinless. Other symbols are flowers and tobacco.

City: Xochimilco.

Offerings: His offerings usually tend to be hallucinogenic plants, mushrooms, and flowers as well as butterflies and animal skins.

7. Huehuecoyotl

Huehuecoyotl was one of the more popular gods of the Aztec pantheon and its resident trickster deity. Still, whether he helps humanity or causes genocide usually depends on his mood. He'd also hump anything.

Huehuecoyotl was one of the more popular gods of the Aztec pantheon and its resident trickster deity. Still, whether he helps humanity or causes genocide usually depends on his mood. He’d also hump anything.

AKA: “Old Man Coyote”

Origin: We’re not sure where the Aztecs got this god from. Then again, they were said to be from Arizona where their Indians did have a coyote trickster deity.

Domain: God of dance, song, trickery, music, old age, mischief, and male sexuality. Associated with indulgence, good luck, balance, and storytelling.He’s also a trickster deity who can change gender and go both ways. As a shapeshifter, he takes any form he wants.

Pro: Well, he’s said to be rather family friendly and laid back as well as very wise. Also rather protective and beneficial mortals when other gods try to harm them as well as even interact with them directly more than Quetzalcoatl. He was one of the more popular gods in the pantheon. Was the only friend to Xolotl (in some sources).

Con: Whether he helps or harms humans usually depends on his mood. He’s also an amoral and sadistic god who was famous for causing genocide on a whim or provoke human wars for fun. Also has many of his pranks blow up in his face if they’re against other gods. Not to mention, he has the biggest sexual appetite in the pantheon and would hump anything.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted as an anthropomorphic coyote sometimes with black and yellow feathers. The coyote is his animal and is often seen followed by a human drummer as his attendant.

City: None but he was seen as rather an accessible god to the Aztecs though, explaining why he was so popular.

Offerings: If he needs a human sacrificed, he just starts a war.

8. Chalchiuhtlicue

Chalchiuhtlicue is the goddess of water who was dedicated at weddings and the births of children. Yet, she also caused a flood lasting for 52 years and is married to Tlaloc who has kiddies sacrificed to him.

Chalchiuhtlicue is the goddess of water who was dedicated at weddings and the births of children. Yet, she also caused a flood lasting for 52 years and is married to Tlaloc who has kiddies sacrificed to him.

AKA: “She of the Jade Skirt,” “Sad Waters,” “Woman Who Makes the Waves Swell,” “To and Fro,” “Woman Who Lives in the Sea,” “Sea Storm,” “She Who Dwells on the Back of the Tortoise,” and “She Who Shines in the Waters”

Origin: May have been a derivative from the Early Classic Teotihuacan with the Pyramid of the Moon supposedly dedicated to her. Domain: Goddess of love, beauty, fertility, youth, lakes, rivers, seas, streams, oceans, storms, and baptism. Patroness of childbirth, marriage, and water as well as protector of children and fishermen. Consort (and sometimes sister) of Tlaloc (or Xiuhtecuhtli) and co-ruler of the heavenly Tlalocan and mother of moon god Tecciztecatl.

Pro: Well, she was a better wife to Tlaloc and a protector of women and kids. Oh, and she only staged a flood to purify humanity but built a bridge linking heaven and earth for those in her good graces and turned the other residents into fish so they wouldn’t drown. And she’s quite nice to look at.

Con: You wouldn’t want to hear her name at a spelling bee. Caused a giant flood that lasted for 52 years which destroyed the fourth world. Also, don’t expect her to protect any kiddies sacrificed to her husband Tlaloc.

Symbols and Motifs: To her people, she’s seen as a river but usually depicted as a beautiful woman in a blue green skirt carrying a cross. Associated with serpents, maize, jade, shells, birds, jaguars, and green.

City: Possibly the Pyramid of the Moon in Teotihuacán. Still, there were about five annual Aztec celebrations dedicated to her and her husband like Atlcahualo in February.

Offerings: Her sacrificial victims were drowned yet they were mostly adults and only in June. Still, offerings consisted of birds, cougars, wolves, jaguars, and snakes.

9. Mictlantecuhtli

Mictlantecuhtli is the god of the dead and Lord of Mictlan (the deepest place in the Aztec underworld which takes 4 years to get to). Though not necessarily evil, he's not particularly nice and actually tried to stop Quetzalcoatl from creating humanity. Also is as creepy as hell.

Mictlantecuhtli is the god of the dead and Lord of Mictlan (the deepest place in the Aztec underworld which takes 4 years to get to). Though not necessarily evil, he’s not particularly nice and actually tried to stop Quetzalcoatl from creating humanity. Also is as creepy as hell but well suited for Halloween parties.

AKA: “Lord of Mictlan” Origin: Well, if we go by iconography, he was adopted by the Aztecs from other Mesoamerican civilizations such as the Maya and Zapotec.

Domain: God of the dead and lord of Mictlan, the Aztec Underworld.

Pro: Like a lot of death deities, he’s not technically evil and Mictlan isn’t really a bad place to be in (though not ideal and took 4 years to get there through a grueling and perilous journey). It’s said he could also grant life as well.

Con: Name is a spelling nightmare and is rather horrendous to look at (though he has a wife named Mictecacihuatl and would certainly fit right in at a Halloween party). Basically told Quetzalcoatl to not touch the bones in Mictlan and gave him an impossible task by having him play a conch shell with no holes in it (the Feathered Serpent pulled it off anyway, thanks to worms). Forced Quetzalcoatl to drop the bones which caused them to break and scatter as well as forced the Feathered Serpent to move on to plan B. Also tried to trick him into staying at Mictlan forever. Still, he’s also feared and portrayed negatively in myths. Said to take pleasure in human death and suffering. Is a bit too in love with his job.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted as a skeleton in kingly regalia with a toothy skull and eye balls in his sockets (as well as sported an eyeball necklace and earrings fashioned from human bones). Sometimes portrayed as covered in blood. His animals are owl, bats, dogs, and spiders. His symbols are the 11th hour, knives, and the northern compass direction.

City: Tenochtitlan

Offerings: His offerings consisted of human sacrifice and ritualized cannibalism in his temples. Also, offerings to him were usually found in people’s tombs.

10. Huitzilopochtli

Huitzilopochtli is one of the newer gods of the Aztec pantheon who's best known for helping them founding the city of Tenochtitlan. However, he's one of the most bloody since it's said there were over 20,000 human sacrifices conducted in his honor for 4 days.

Huitzilopochtli is one of the newer gods of the Aztec pantheon who’s best known for helping them founding the city of Tenochtitlan. However, he’s one of the most bloody since it’s said there were over 20,000 human sacrifices conducted in his honor for 4 days.

AKA: “The Left Hand Side,” “The Dart Hurler,” and “The Divine Hurler”

Origin: He’s actually one of the Aztecs’ original deities and was brought south with them. Some say he may have been a historical figure (probably a warrior priest king) who was deified after his death.

Domain: God of war, the will, human sacrifice, and the sun. Patron of fire and lord of the South. National god of the Aztec Empire and people. Though he’s not necessarily the chief god, he’s often referred to as such and the closest the Aztecs got. Mythical founder of Tenochtitlan and told the Aztecs to change their name to Mexica. Associated with rules and gold.

Pro: He’s a badass who can use a lot of improbable weapons like a turquoise spear. Said to help guide the Aztec people into founding the city of Tenochtitlan which was the Pre-Columbian Venice in Lake Texcoco (according to legend). Allowed those who died in battle or killed by enemies as captives as well as women who died in childbirth to accompany him to the heavens. Was said to either avenge or save his mother’s life.

Con: When he was born he killed 400 of his older siblings (yet he’d kill other relatives later like putting another sister to sleep and his nephew). Not to mention, had a nasty fight with his sister that resulted in her getting dismembered and becoming a moon goddess. He’s so bright that soldiers needed their shields to protect their eyes from his sight (though he transformed them into hummingbirds and butterflies). Still, he’s best known as the god with the highest demand for sacrifices and heartburgers with hundreds of prisoners having their chests ripped out in his name.

Symbols and Motifs: Could be depicted as a hummingbird, snake, eagle, a soul of a dead warrior, or as a anthropomorphic figure with feathers on his head and left leg, black face, and holding a scepter shaped like a snake or mirror. Associated with light blue and yellow.The sun eagle that devoured a snake on a cactus is supposed to be him. Aramanth was his plant.

City: Tenochtitlan, of course since he was worship at its Great Temple. Also had a whole month in December dedicated to his worship (called Panquetzaliztli). Festivals include Atamalqualiztli and Toxcatl.

Offerings: Usually consisted of a bunch of POWs having their hearts ripped out at his temple before their bodies were flayed, decapitated, dismembered, and thrown down the stairs. Priests would devour the hearts. 20,000 were said to be sacrificed to him over 4 days. Also had flowers and quail eggs bestowed on him.

11.Tlazolteotl

Tlazolteotl is the goddess of sin, lust, and purification. Though one may be absolved of all sin and untouched by the law. But unlike the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation, confession to her was only a one time Get Out of Jail Free Card. Still, best to confess to her after you've been caught cheating.

Tlazolteotl is the goddess of sin, lust, and purification. Though one may be absolved of all sin and untouched by the law. But unlike the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation, confession to her was only a one time Get Out of Jail Free Card. Still, best to confess to her after you’ve been caught cheating. Oh, and she’s depicted eating shit.

AKA: “Goddess of Dirt,” “She Who Eats Dirt,” “She of Two Faces,” “Sin Eater,” and “Death Caused by Lust”

Origin: May have been adopted by the Aztecs from a Huxtec goddess on the Gulf Coast.

Domain: Goddess of sin and absolution, lust, carnality, purification, steam baths, midwives, filth, vice, forbidden love, and sexual misdeeds. Patroness of adulterers, protector of midwives and doctor women, and mother of Centeōtl. Associated with earth.

Pro: Usually forgave diseases and sins caused by misdeeds, particularly sexual indiscretions. One was purified if they confessed their misdeeds to her and the law wouldn’t touch them.

Con: Yet, confession to her was only a once in a lifetime deal and you didn’t want to cheat on your spouse after you’ve done so (since adultery was punishable by death in the Aztec world). She also inspired vicious desires and was thought to cause disease, especially in those who engage in forbidden love. Also shown to eat poo or give birth.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman eating the shit of humanity’s sins and sometimes nude. Sometimes portrayed giving birth. Associated with black.

City: Her festival was the Ochpaniztli in September to celebrate the harvest and pertained to sweeping, ritual cleaning, and repairs as well as casting corn seed and military ceremonies.

Offerings: People would usually give her offerings of urine and excrement.

12. Xiuhtecuhtli

Xiuhtecuhtli was the god of fire and time who was associated with the Aztec New Fire Ceremony held every 52 years. Yet, other than his role in ceremonies, he doesn't seem to appear much in myths.

Xiuhtecuhtli was the god of fire and time who was associated with the Aztec New Fire Ceremony held every 52 years. Yet, other than his role in ceremonies, he doesn’t seem to appear much in myths.

AKA: “Lord of Fire,” “Lord of Turquoise,” and “Old God”

Origin: Worship and iconography at least dates back to the Post-Classic Toltecs.

Domain: God of fire, day, light, year, time, and heat. Lord of volcanoes. Personified life after death, warmth in cold, light in darkness, and food during famine. Considered father and mother of the gods as well as sometimes married to Chalchiuhtlicue. Dwelt in the turquoise enclosure in the earth’s center. Patron god of Aztec emperors who were said to be the living embodiment of his enthroned as well as merchants. Associated with rulership and youthful warriors. May actually be the chief deity of the Aztec pantheon.

Pro: Well, he’s said to be associated with being the light of the world and he’s pretty essential to the Aztecs.

Con: Despite his importance in the Aztec world, he doesn’t appear in myths much, at least in the ones we know. Still, his legends may be lost due to the Spanish burning codices during the Conquest.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted as a young man in a red or yellow face with censer in hand (or arms crossed). Turquoise was sacred to him. His symbols are flint, birds, and butterflies. Sometimes depicted as an old man.

City: Tenochtitlan. His festival was the New Fire Ceremony which took place every 52 years. Also had an annual festival as well lasting for 10 days where kids had their ears pierced and their godparents selected. Also, during the last New Fire Ceremony, the chest cavity didn’t light.

Offerings: First mouthful of food was flung to the hearth from each meal and his temples contained an ever burning sacred fire. During the New Fire Ceremony, in which a fire was lit in a sacrificial victim’s chest cavity. Humans sacrificed to him were usually burned after their hearts were removed, naturally. Also had animal offerings as well which were thrown in the fire every year on his festival.

13. Xipe Totec

Xipe Totec was the god of spring and renewal whose festival marked the coming of spring. However, guys sacrificed to him were killed in a lot of nasty ways which made the spring celebration gorier than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Xipe Totec was the god of spring and renewal whose festival marked the coming of spring. However, guys sacrificed to him were killed in a lot of nasty ways which made the spring celebration gorier than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

AKA: “The Flayed Lord”

Origin: Was widely worshiped in Mesoamerica during the Early Post Classic period and was probably adopted by the Aztecs.

Domain: God of force, war, agriculture, vegetation, diseases, seasons, rebirth, hunting, trades, spring, liberation and lord of the East. Patron of goldsmiths and silversmiths.

Pro: Well, he symbolizes spring and renewal. Also, his name is easy to spell and pronounce as well as likes shiny things. Not to mention, his golden skin makes him not so bad looking for a flayed lord. Helped make the transition from winter to spring as well as guided young men into manhood. Said to cure sickness, especially eye ailments.

Con: He’s said to invent war and his sacrificial victims were killed in very nasty ways since he’s not just known as “The Flayed Lord” for nothing. Also depicted with wearing rotting human skin from a dead person.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as yellow and tan as well as wearing flayed skin and carrying a rattle staff. Sometimes seen carrying a shield and a container of seeds. Without his skin, he’s a golden god.

City: Tenochtitlan and Azcapotzalco. Had an annual festival on the Spring Equinox called Tlacaxipehualiztli.

Offerings: Well, victims were usually young men (soldiers, POWs, slaves, or thieves) who were forced to fight in a fixed gladiatorial match, had their hearts cut out of chests before being flayed with skin worn by warriors and priests, shot full of arrows like Boromir, had their throats slit, or were burned.

14. Coyolxauhqui

Coyolxauhqui was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars. Yet, when her mother fell pregnant, she sought to kill but got dismembered and became the moon by a newborn Huitzilopochtli.

Coyolxauhqui was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars. Yet, when her mother fell pregnant, she sought to kill but got dismembered and became the moon by a newborn Huitzilopochtli.

AKA: “Face Painted with Bells” and “Golden Bells”

Origin: She was probably an original Aztec goddess based on the story with her.

Domain:Goddess of the moon and leader of the Centzon Huitznauhtin. Possibly associated with the Milky Way.

Pro: She was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars.

Con: Basically tried to murder her mom when she became pregnant with Huitzilopochtli (perhaps alleging that Coatlicue had been having an affair, which was punishable by death in Aztec society). Was dismembered and sent to the sky when Huitzilopochtli sprang from Coatlicue’s womb. Also, her name is a spelling bee nightmare.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted dismembered with a bells in her hair and skulls near her waist.

City: None as far as I know.

Offerings: I don’t think get gets any offerings or is even worshiped since she’s Huitzilopochtli’s adversary.

15. Metztli

 Metztli the moon deity can be depicted either gender in the Aztec mythos but most contemporary artists have him/her as female. Still, I used Metzli for the moon deity since I couldn't find a painting for Tecciztecatl since he/she may be a female manifestation (or nickname) of the lunar deity.

Metztli the moon deity can be depicted either gender in the Aztec mythos but most contemporary artists have him/her as female. Still, I used Metzli for the moon deity since I couldn’t find a painting for Tecciztecatl and Metzli may be a female manifestation (or nickname) of the lunar deity.

AKA: “Queen of Night” and “Old Mother”

Origin: May have been worshiped in Mesoamerica by the Otomi people before being added to the Aztec pantheon.

Domain: God/Goddess of the moon, night, and farmers. She/he could either be the same deity as Yohualticetl, Coyolxauhqui, or Tecciztecatl or possibly a combination of the 3. Sometimes said to be a lowly god of worms.

Pro: At least his/her name is simple to spell. The Otomi believed he/she sacrificed him/herself so darkness would end.

Con: Though he/she wanted to become the sun but feared its fire. Also, unlike Tonatiuh. he/she failed to sacrifice, him/herself to become the sun turned into the moon instead with face darkened by a rabbit.

Symbols and Motifs: Well, can be depicted as a man or woman and is associated with rabbits, snails, and worms. Said to carry the moon on his/her seashell.

City: None outside the Otomi.

Offerings: Probably doesn’t get any offerings except from the Otomi who saw her as a much more benevolent figure.

16. Xolotl

Xolotl is the Aztec psychopomp and Quetzalcoatl's brother who aided in his descent to Mictlan to steal the bones to create humanity. Still, despite his monstrous appearance, he's actually quite friendly.

Xolotl is the Aztec psychopomp and Quetzalcoatl’s brother who aided in his descent to Mictlan to steal the bones to create humanity. Still, despite his monstrous appearance, he’s actually quite friendly.

AKA: “The Twin”

Origin: Well, dog motifs have been seen a lot in Mesoamerican iconography so it would be no surprised if he predates the Aztecs in the region.

Domain: God of sunset, death, fire, lightning, sickness, darkness, bad luck, and deformities. Brother of Quetzalcoatl. Not a psychopomp in the Western sense but he did serve as the guide of the dead in their journey to Mictlan. The Mexican Hairless dog is named after him and so is the Mexican water salamander. Patron of the Mesoamerican ballgame. Dark personification of Venus the Evening Star.

Pro: Let’s just say he’s a lot nicer than his boss Mictlantecuhtli and his name is much easier to spell. He’s known to guard the sun when it goes into the Underworld at night as well as aid dead souls on their journey to Mictlan. He also assisted his brother Quetzalcoatl (though whether they’re twins or not depends on the story) in helping to create mankind at a considerable price.

Con: Still, if you were going for a dog headed psychopomp, he’d surely be beaten by Anubis in the looks department. Also constantly gets himself in trouble in which he gets scarred by his own lightning and beset by his own sickness. Not to mention, he may not be well liked by the gods in his own pantheon.

Symbols and Motifs: His forms are the Mexican Hairless dog and the water salamander. Usually depicted as an anthropomorphic Mexican Hairless with ragged ears and sometimes crippled. Sometimes portrayed as a skeleton or a monster animal with reversed feet.

City: None since he was the god of bad luck. Then again, he was the patron of the ball game. His festival was celebrated with a pole in August.

Offerings: Let me guess, he was usually honored with Mexican Hairless dog offerings. Not to mention, Aztec dead were usually buried with this dog for their 4 year journey to Mictlan. As for human sacrifices, I suppose he got a cut from the ball game though we’re not sure from which team.

17. Centeōtl

Centeōtl was one of the more important gods in the Aztec pantheon since he was the maize deity. Of course, despite being explicitly a man in Aztec myth (or sort of), he tends to be portrayed as a woman in contemporary art. This is one of the few paintings he isn't and is wearing his corn headdress.

Centeōtl was one of the more important gods in the Aztec pantheon since he was the maize deity. Of course, despite being explicitly a man in Aztec myth (or sort of), he tends to be portrayed as a woman in contemporary art. This is one of the few paintings he isn’t and is wearing his corn headdress.

AKA: “Dried Maize Still on the Cob,” “Maize Cob Lord,” and “Dried Ear of Maize”

Origin: May have started as a Post Classic Mayan maize god before adopted by the Aztecs. Actually he may have been worshiped earlier than that, possibly by the Olmecs.

Domain: God of maize, sustenance, and agriculture. Son of Tlazolteotl and Piltzintecuhtli (sometimes Xochiquetzal). Husband of Chicomecōātl.

Pro: Well, he was a very important deity since maize was a staple Aztec crop. Also, was one of the few fertility gods who didn’t require people being sacrificed in his name.

Con: There’s not much known about him and he doesn’t appear in many myths. Not to mention, he didn’t introduce maize to humans (that honor would go to Quetzalcoatl).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually portrayed as a young man (though the jury’s still out and some artists show him as a woman) with a yellow body. Sometimes portrayed with a maize headdress. His symbol is maize, naturally.

City: Had a maize planting festival in February sometimes consisting of naked women dancing and massive fights would break out.

Offerings: Usually had maize offerings to him as well as human sacrifice through bloodletting rituals.

18. Coatlicue

Coatlicue was a mother goddess best known to have Huitzilopochtli conceived through a ball of feathers to her other children's chagrin. Though seen as a loving mother, she tends to consume everything that lives explaining her hideous choice of fashion.

Coatlicue was a mother goddess best known to have Huitzilopochtli conceived through a ball of feathers to her other children’s chagrin. Though seen as a loving mother, she tends to consume everything that lives explaining her hideous choice of fashion.

AKA: “One with Serpent Skirt,” “The Mother of Gods,” “Goddess of Fire and Fertility, “Goddess of Life, Death and Rebirth”, and “Mother of the Southern Stars.”

Origin: She’s an original goddess in the Aztec pantheon since she’s usually listed as Huitzilopochtli’s mother.

Domain: Goddess of fertility, life, death, and rebirth. Patron of women who die in childbirth. Mother of the Southern Stars, Coyolxauhqui, and Huitzilopochtli (sometimes Quetzalcoatl and Xolotl). Associated with earth, fire, agriculture, governance, and warfare. Possibly inspired the image of Our Lady of Guadelupe after the Spanish Conquest as a Mexican figure.

Pro: Well, she was one of the few of Huitzilopochtli who wasn’t killed by him (or he actually cared about). Said to sacrifice herself in the beginning of present creation in some stories. Usually seen as a loving mother who told her son to make Coyolxauhqui the moon so she could see her every night.

Con: Let’s just say she had a hard time to explain herself when she got impregnated with Huitzilopochtli via a ball of feathers while sweeping a temple. She’s also an insatiable monster consuming everything that lives and a rather fearsome figure in Aztec art. Said to consume and rip human corpses.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman with a snake skirt and a necklace made of human hearts, hands, and skulls. Her hands are typically covered in claws and exhibits hanging breasts. Sometimes portrayed as a ferocious ugly monster.

City: Mount Coatepec but has a statue in Tenochtitlan.

Offerings: Sacrificial victims to her were usually bludgeoned to death, decapitated, and had their hearts ripped out.

19. Chicomecōātl

Chicomecōātl  is the goddess of agriculture who presides over maize growth and harvest. Still, every September she does request for a young girl sacrificed as a thank you gift.

Chicomecōātl is the goddess of agriculture who presides over maize growth and harvest. Still, every September she does request for a young girl sacrificed as a thank you gift.

AKA: “Seven Snakes” “Princess of the Unripe Maize,” and “The Hairy One”

Origin: She may have been a Mayan maize goddess but we’re not exactly sure.

Domain: Goddess of agriculture, nourishment, and plenty during the Middle Culture period and wife of Centeōtl (sometimes Tezcatlipoca). Associated with energy, community, and strength. Presides over maize during the harvest.

Pro: Well, being the goddess of maize so she probably has an important job in the Aztec pantheon. Not to mention, her association with snakes is a rather positive one for the often vilified reptiles (since snakes tended to eat pests).

Con: We don’t know much about her other than being a maize goddess. Some say that she may the same deity as Centeōtl (though with the dual natures thing her presence may make more sense). Also demands a young girl sacrificed every September.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman and her symbol was an ear of corn. Can be sometimes portrayed carrying corn, flowers, death, or the sun as a shield. Also associated with snakes.

City: Had a festival every September. Also tends to share festivals with her husband Centeōtl.

Offerings: Had a young girl representing her sacrificed every September. Her skin would be flayed and worn by a priest.

20. Ītzpāpālōtl

Itzpapalotl is the goddess of flint knives associated with darkness and death. Though her home may be a paradise for dead babies, she's a rather vicious goddess who's reputedly queen of  the notorious Tzitzimitl.

Itzpapalotl is the goddess of flint knives associated with darkness and death. Though her home may be a paradise for dead babies, she’s a rather vicious goddess who’s reputedly queen of the notorious Tzitzimitl.

AKA: “Obsidian Butterfly” “Bat Woman,” “Feminine Warrior,” “Dark Mother,” and “Clawed Butterfly”

Origin: She may have originated as the Goddess 2J from the Zapotec iconography.

Domain: Goddess of stone and flint knives and ruler of Tamoanchan, a paradise for dead babies and where humans were created. Associated with bats, birds, night, deaths, disasters, human sacrifice, war, and fire. Occasionally said to be the mother of Mixcoatl and sometimes the wife of Quetzalcoatl (in his Ehecatl manifestation). Patron of mothers who died in childbirth and dead infants. Said to stand for purification and rejuvenation of what is precious. Could possibly be the Queen of the Tzitzimitl.

Pro: Her abode is an earthly paradise for dead babies. Also seen as a warrior princess figure who has an invisibility cloak. Also said to be a Cihuateteo who may guide soldiers in battle as well as a Tzitzimitl known to protect women. Not to mention, she’s said to know how to dress.

Con: She’s also said to be one of the star demons, Tzitzimitl who are said to descend and eat people during a solar eclipse and attack young men at crossroads. And as a Cihuateteo, she may be said to kidnap children, cause sickness, and seduce men into sexual misbehavior. Once reputed to break the limbs of a sacred tree in paradise causing everything to wither and said to cause storms and drought. Said to be involved in the creation of Aztec booze and isn’t very pleasant at all. Could be seen as a beautiful seductive man eater in both sexual and gastronomical aspects.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a beautiful pale woman in black but sometimes portrayed as a bat, a two headed deer, or skeleton with butterfly knife blade wings and jaguar claws. Associated with flint, eagles, bats, butterflies, knives, obsidian, vultures, and black.

City: None.

Offerings: I’m sure she had humans sacrificed to her because she’s the goddess of flint and knives used to perform them, especially during a solar eclipse.

21. Cihuacoatl

Cihuacoatl was the Aztec goddess who presided over battles and childbirth as well head of the Cihuateteo. However, she's also known to abandon her son Mixcoatl and later regret it as a possibly inspiration for La Lllorona.

Cihuacoatl was the Aztec goddess who presided over battles and childbirth as well head of the Cihuateteo and helped Quetzalcoatl create humanity. However, she’s also known to abandon her son Mixcoatl and later regret it as a possibly inspiration for La Lllorona.

AKA: “Snake Woman”

Origin: She may have been a Toltec goddess before being adopted in the Aztec pantheon.

Domain: Goddess of motherhood, fertility, midwives, and sweat baths. Patroness of Culhuacan and protectoress of the Chalmeca people. Sometimes mother of Mixcoatl and linked with La Llorona. Patroness of women who died in childbirth and queen of the Cihuateteo.

Pro: Helped Quetzalcoatl create the current race of humanity by grinding the bones of the previous ones. Said to predict disasters as well as presided over births and battles.

Con: Said to abandon her son Mixcoatl at a crossroads at Lake Xochimilco and was said to weep for him only to find a sacrificial knife. Was also known to haunt crossroads at night and abduct children, cause sickness, and seduce men.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as an old woman carrying spears and a warrior’s shield though sometimes portrayed as a young woman carrying flowers or a skeleton. Associated with maize, brooms, and snakes.

City: Culhuacan, Tenochtitlan, and Lake Xochimilco.

Offerings: Human sacrifice victims were women offered to her usually had their hearts ripped from chests and were beheaded.

22. Mixcoatl

Mixcoatl is the god of the hunt who created fire with a clever cosmic feat of engineering that has never been repeated. However, his family tree is a real tangled mess.

Mixcoatl is the god of the hunt who created fire with a clever cosmic feat of engineering that has never been repeated. However, his family tree is a real tangled mess.

AKA: “Deer Sandal” and “Cloud Serpent”

Origin: Patron deity of the Otomi and Chichimecs as well as other Mesoamerican cultures. May have originally been a Toltec warrior who was deified or possibly a Mixtec god.

Domain: God of war, the Milky Way, fire, stars, heavens, North Star, and the hunt. Sometimes a manifestation of Tezcatlipoca or Xipe Totec, son of Cihuacoatl or Ītzpāpālōtl

Pro: Name is easy to spell. Said to create fire for the Aztec people with a clever bit of cosmic engineering no one has managed to duplicate called the Cosmic Fire Drill.

Con: Said to have killed 400 of this Northern Stars siblings and his sister with 3 of his brothers. Did nothing to prevent his 400 Southern Star sons with from being killed (though that might’ve been out of not wanting to mess with Huitzilopochtli). As Quetzalcoatl’s father, he was killed by his 3 brothers. Oh, and how he knocked up Chimalma involved shooting an arrow between her legs while she was naked and consent appeared questionable. Not to mention, his manifestations and relations are relatively confusing so you might want to avoid doing his family tree.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted in a black mask with candy cane stripes on his body and long hair. Equipped with a bow and arrow as well as a net or basket.

City: Had a festival in October. Also worshiped in Huejotzingo and Tlaxcala.

Offerings: Well, his honoring had hunters bleed themselves, offer their game during his festival, and have someone sacrificed in his temple.

23. Chimalma

Though Chimalma is best known for guiding the Aztecs from Aztlan, being Huitzilopochtli's shield bearer, and mother of Quetzelcoatl, she's little known for much else. Still, she either conceived the Feathered Serpent through swallowing a jade or sleeping with Mixcoatl after he shot an arrow between her legs.

Though Chimalma is best known for guiding the Aztecs from Aztlan, being Huitzilopochtli’s shield bearer, and mother of Quetzelcoatl, she’s little known for much else. Still, she either conceived the Feathered Serpent through swallowing a jade or sleeping with Mixcoatl after he shot an arrow between her legs.

AKA: “Shield Hand”

Origin: She may have been a Toltec goddess or a deity of the Chichimeca.

Domain: Goddess of fertility, life, death, and rebirth. Best known as the mother of Quetzalcoatl (though stories of his conception are a bit crazy).

Pro: Accompanied the Aztecs from their homeland of Atzlan as well as served as shield bearer to Huitzilopochtli.

Con: There’s not much about her and she’s really not known for much else besides being the mother to Quetzalcoatl.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman. Her symbols are an arrow, shield, and jade.

City: None.

Offerings: I’m not sure she had any offerings.

24. Toci

Toci was the goddess of cleanliness, health, and midwives.  Still, on her special time, a woman would be sacrificed by being beheaded and flayed.

Toci was the goddess of cleanliness, health, and midwives. Still, on her special time, a woman would be sacrificed by being beheaded and flayed.

AKA: “Our Grandmother,” “Mother of the Gods,” “Woman of Discord,” and “Heart of the Earth”

Origin: She’s most likely an original Aztec deity as far as I could tell.

Domain: Goddess of healing, sweat baths, hygiene, and midwives. May be an aspect of Tlazolteotl. Was once a princess of Culhuacan before she was ordered to be flayed and sacrificed instead of offered in marriage to an Aztec nobleman, thanks to Huitzilopochtli. Associated with war.

Pro: Name is easy to spell and pronounce. Also, she’s a healer who emphasizes hygiene and cleanliness.

Con: Let’s just say she has a demand for women to be sacrificed in her honor and not screaming, despite going through the process herself.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman with cotton spools on her headdress and a black mark on her cheek. Though said to be old she’s not usually portrayed as such. Her symbol is a broom, shield, and arrows.

City: Ochpaniztli was her festival time that precipitated a sweeping frenzy.

Offerings: In her honor, a woman was either beheaded or had her heart cut out then flayed. Usually she’d be lured through a deception that she was about to see the ruler.

History of the World According to the Movies: Part 50 – Latin America

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I couldn’t think of any other movie that pertains to Latin American history than The Motorcycle Diaries from 2004 which recalls 23-year old Argentine medical student Ernesto Guevara on his life changing journey through South America with his friend Alberto Granado. Of course, given his fame as a T-shirt image, Che Guevara has become America’s favorite Marxist guerrilla commander and revolutionary. However, the truth about Che isn’t as loveable as Hollywood portrays it to be.

Latin America doesn’t have a long history. Well, actually it does since it was once inhabited by indigenous tribes but and then colonized by the Europeans. Still, as independent entities, well, that’s only since the 19th century which is why I put it here. Of course, Hollywood portrays Latin American history as a long era with deserts, jungles, dictators, and hapless villagers. But is this a true portrayal of Latin American history? Not really since it’s more complex than that with interesting historical figures, events most people have never heard of, diverse cultures, and other things. Still, it’s kind of shown in the movies as a Third World travelogue like India and most of Asia you probably never saw in your life. Let’s just say it’s far more complicated than you see in the movies. Nevertheless, there aren’t many movies pertaining to Latin American history that people in the US know despite that it’s only south of the Southwest border like along Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and California. Not to mention, the US Hispanic population is on the rise and it’s the place many of our immigrants are coming from undocumented and otherwise. Nevertheless, there are a lot of things movies get wrong about Latin American history which I shall list accordingly.

Mexico:

Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna:

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna wore a shako helmet. (His foot soldiers did not him.)

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna attacked the Alamo with 7,000 men. (More like 2500 men.)

General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna was a much older man during the siege of the Alamo. (He was only 42.)

Mexican general and president, Antonio López de Santa Anna was a villainous man who executed prisoners by cannon fire, puffed a gold braid, ate bonbons on fancy silverware while everyone else starved, and valued a human life as much as a chicken’s but not in a good way. (He was brutal but he’s actually a more interesting case. His hobbies included gambling on cockfights, consuming opium, and dishonoring women. Still, he had a great degree of charm alongside his brutality like a mustache twirling super villain.)

Benito Juarez:

Benito Juarez asked ex-Emperor Maximilian in Mexico to forgive him when the latter was about to be shot by firing squad. (Nice little scene for Juarez but the real Juarez didn’t regret Maximilian’s execution and wrote a manifesto saying it was “just, necessary, urgent and inevitable”.)

Pancho Villa:

Several of Pancho Villa’s associates spoke Quecha. (Quecha is a South American dialect that would’ve been spoken in Peru, Ecuador, Bolivia, and Argentina. Pancho Villa was from Mexico.)

Pancho Villa took Mexico City by himself from Victriano Huerta and made himself president. (Actually he took it in a three pronged attack with Emiliano Zapata and Venustiano Carranza. After Huerta fled, they ruled the country together but Zapata soon went home Carranza eventually forced Villa out of power and ruled Mexico by himself. But he had Zapata assassinated while Villa retired.)

Emiliano Zapata:

Emiliano Zapata talked like Speedy Gonzales. (Contrary to Marlon Brando’s disastrous performance in Viva Zapata!, Zapata was well known for his high pitched, delicate voice. Still, Brando’s performance as Zapata must’ve been very offensive to the indigenous community in Mexico because it’s really terrible though Anthony Quinn does a hell of a good job as his brother.)

Emiliano Zapata and his followers were pro-American and the US supported Latin American liberation during the Mexican Revolution. (Well, it’s more complicated. True, the Zapistas did have some admiration for the US system of government after spending years under dictatorial regimes. And yes, the United States did provide asylum to rebel figurehead Francisco Madero where he remained unmolested. However, this was the time of US imperialism and America was basically looking after its own interests as said by William Howard Taft: “The day is not far distant when three Stars and Stripes at three equidistant points will mark our territory: one at the North Pole, another at the Panama Canal, and the third at the South Pole. The whole hemisphere will be ours in fact as, by virtue of our superiority of race, it already is ours morally.” Nevertheless, while the US did interfere with the Mexican Revolution, they weren’t above switching sides when it suited their own interests. Madero only suited their interests briefly and there’s an unproven theory that Madero was killed by US Ambassador Henry Lane Wilson {he wasn’t} but Wilson seemed to give the impression that the US was fine with Victoriano Huerta bumping off his rival until the US turned against him {still, Huerta was kind of a guy who switched sides as often as he changed uniforms}. As for Ambassador Wilson, well, President Wilson eventually fired him for interfering with Mexican politics.)

Emiliano Zapata was illiterate until he got married. (He may have not been the most educated guy in Mexico due to indigenous peasant background, but he could read and write by the time he was an adult. Still, Zapata’s wedding was interrupted by government troops riding forth against him. Also, contrary to Viva Zapata!, Zapata was assassinated by the forces of President Venustiano Carranza.)

Emiliano Zapata confronted Porfirio Díaz at Mexico’s National Palace. (This is the stuff of legend which has been discounted. Yet, this is in Viva Zapata!. However, while Porfirio Diaz was a bad president in his later years, he had earlier destroyed the brigands that plagued Mexico’s roads and set up the country’s infrastructure so the nation would benefit for years to come. Still, he was senile and surrounded by idiots and yes-men in his later years and should’ve retired.)

Francisco Madero:

Francisco Madero was a naïve idiot who didn’t know he was being executed by firing squad until somebody started shooting. (Madero’s family should’ve sued Elia Kazan for slander for portraying the guy this way in Viva Zapata!. The real Madero wasn’t so daft and knew very well he what was going to happen to him as he said to a loyal officer on his execution, “Adiós, my general. I shall never see you again.” His brother’s death was far more brutal.)

Mexican general Victoriano Huerta was present at Francisco Madero’s execution. (He wasn’t but he did order his execution.)

President Francisco Madero was overthrown in a coup and shot by General Pascal. (He was overthrown and assassinated by Gen. Victoriano Huerta yet he had someone else do the shooting. Also, there was no general named Pascal. Oh, and he was shot in a prison outside Mexico City not at the National Palace.)

Frida Kahlo:

Frida Kahlo seduced Italian photographer Tina Modotti in front of everyone at a party. (Yes, Frida was bisexual. Yet, Modotti might’ve introduced Frida Kahlo to her husband Diego Rivera, though they told several versions on how they met. Still, she didn’t publicly seduce Modotti.)

Leon Trotsky moved out of Frida Kahlo’s house to avoid falling in love with her and went to less secure digs where in which he would shortly meet his end with the ice pick. (Yes, she had an affair with Trotsky. Yes, he lived with her but so did her husband Diego Rivera. Still, though Trotsky and Frida ended the affair, she still allowed him to stay in the house but she left for Paris. Trotsky moved out when she was abroad possibly owing to a disagreement with Diego Rivera in 1939. However, unlike what Frida suggests, her libido had absolutely nothing to do with Trotsky’s murder since he was already Stalin’s #1 enemy by 1940 and Stalin had already killed members of his family and followers. Stalin was going to get him eventually. Also, he was killed by an ice axe not a pick contrary to popular legend.)

Frida Kahlo was completely able bodied before her bus accident. (Actually she had a lot of health problems as a child. She contracted polio at six that left her right leg thinner than her left, which she disguised by wearing long colorful skirts. It’s also been theorized that she may have been born with spinal bifida. Though she recovered from the bus accident, she had relapses of extreme pain for the rest of her life and had spent months of the time bedridden or hospitalized and was never able to have children.)

Frida Kahlo had no facial hair. (She had a mustache.)

Miscellaneous:

Good Mexicans were weak and stupid while bad Mexicans were corrupt, ruthless, and cruel.

Mexican villages had constant problems with bandits ransacking the town who lived much better lives than they did.

Everyone in Mexico was a Mestizo and everyone in other Latin American countries was Hispanic.

Mexicans were lazy workers who took midafternoon siestas. (The reason that Latin American workers took siestas was because they’ve been working all day in the hot sun. They took naps because they were exhausted or they would die, not lazy.)

Three Finger Jack and Joaquin Murieta were a cheery band of California outlaws under Mexican rule in California with Murieta’s brother Alejandro using guile to steal from corrupt soldiers in California’s government. (Three Finger Jack and Murieta were Gold Rush outlaws with a gang believed to be responsible for the murders in the Mother Lode area in the Sierra Nevadas. Alejandro Murieta was made up for The Mask of Zorro yet he ends up naming his kid Joaquin in The Legend of Zorro. Still, Joaquin Murieta and Three-Finger Jack were brought down in 1853. Still, Murieta was said to be a Mexican patriot or “The Mexican Robin Hood” though he probably wasn’t either.)

The US Army fought the French occupiers of Mexico. (Yes, Mexico was occupied by the French during the American Civil War and the Lincoln administration wasn’t happy about it. However, there was never any fighting between the US and the French. Besides, the Lincoln administration was more interested in fighting Confederate forces anyway. Yet, both Union and Confederate forces did battle the Indian tribes at the US and Mexican border as depicted in Major Dundee.)

The war against Maximilian in Mexico was seen as a “revolution.” (From Imdb: “As the Juarez government had never fled Mexico during the intervention, and consistently insisted it was the lawful government, no loyal Mexican would consider the war a revolution; it was the expulsion of a foreign invader.” Kicking the French puppet regime out of Mexico formed the basis of celebrating Cinco de Mayo.)

Leon Trotsky was assassinated by a man named Frank Jacson. (The guy’s name was Ramon Mercader who was an NKVD mole for Stalin and had successfully got close enough to Trotsky to kill him {despite the fact only Trotsky and Mercader’s girlfriend trusted him}. Still, Mercader wasn’t the only NKVD mole in Trotsky’s organization. Nevertheless, Trotsky was a horrible judge of character since he seriously underestimated Josef Stalin and never understood him as a brilliant, calculating, and visionary megalomaniac with an insatiable bloodthirst and a pathological need to get even with his enemies, with Trotsky at the top of his list. It was underestimating Stalin, that got Trotsky exiled in the first place.)

El Salvador:

Archbishop Oscar Romero’s assassin shot him while taking communion in front of him with photojournalist Robert Boyle sitting a few pews away. (Romero’s assassin was actually hiding behind a pillar when he shot him. Also, Robert Boyle wasn’t really there contrary to Oliver Stone’s Salvador, which isn’t a good reference source if you want to know anything about the civil war in El Salvador during the 1980. Robert Boyle also didn’t try to get his girlfriend Maria in the United States or photojournalist Jack Casady for that matter {because he didn’t exist}. Seriously, Oliver Stone is as bad with history as Mel Gibson, though his is more along current events.)

Panama:

Manuel Noriega was in hiding while on the run after the invasion of Panama. (Contrary to The Men who Stare at Goats, he never was. In fact, he briefly sought refuge at the Vatican Embassy after the invasion of Panama and the US knew it.)

Argentina:

Eva Peron:

Eva Peron was a beloved figure in Argentina who championed for the people. (She also was a great spokeswoman for her husband’s regime which helped make Argentina a hospitable place for Nazis. Still, Juan Peron’s willingness for having diplomatic relations with Franco Spain had more to do with his country being 1/3 Spanish and Franco being in desperate need for a political ally. Also, while Juan Peron did facilitate the entrance of Nazi criminals to Argentina, Russia, Great Britain, and the US did the same thing and probably for the same reasons such as to acquire advanced technology developed by the Germans during World War II. Of course, those countries took in scientists like Heisenberg and Von Braun but they were nevertheless war criminals. It’s just that after WWII, Britain, the US, and Russia didn’t really care that much. Yet, at the same time, Argentina accepted more Jewish immigrants than any other Latin American country under Peron’s watch.)

Eva Peron had an affair with 36 year old Agustín Magaldi when she was 15. (This is in Evita, yet since it’s 38-year-old Madonna playing a 15-year-old girl, this isn’t squicky. However, the real Eva probably didn’t have a relationship with Magaldi, 15 or not since the guy usually traveled with his wife. Not to mention, he was actually a chubby mama’s boy and far from the suave matinee idol he’s depicted. Also, it’s said that Eva’s family may have traveled to Buenos Aires with her. Unfortunately, when Andrew Lloyd Webber did his musical in the 1970’s, the only English biography of Eva Peron available in English was by a political opponent of the Perons and hasn’t been found very reliable. Rather an American equivalent of Evita would be kind of like a musical about Barack Obama based solely upon his Conservapedia page.)

Eva Peron’s rise to power just consisted of a mere makeover. (Yeah, Andrew Lloyd Webber, except that you left out Eva Peron’s support and campaign for women’s suffrage and social justice causes, her creation of the female Peronist Party, her work in government {overseeing ministries of labor, social welfare, and health as well as eventually became her husband’s vice-president and received the title of Spiritual Leader of Argentina a few months before her death from cervical cancer at 33 in 1952 [even if she did all that in her husband’s discretion]}, and dubious rumors of her links to fascist regimes. Evita just gives us only hats and lipstick and practically says nothing about why she’s so remembered in Argentina and says that her status as a beloved figure wasn’t deserved. No wonder people in that country hated it.)

Eva Peron was an ambitious woman who slept her way to power. (Now I see why Argentinian’s don’t like Evita. She was ambitious and had many relationships with men but it’s said that her success as a radio actress had more to do with her own merit as well as her willingness to take any job she could get {though she did arrive to Buenos Aires lacking a formal education or connections so she probably submitted to the casting couch a few times as many aspiring actresses did in her day}. Her business partner at Radio El Mundo didn’t really like her but admitted she was “thoroughly dependable” and by the time she met her husband, she was earning 6,000 pesos a month. Still, while Eva Peron wasn’t what you called a saint, she wasn’t a bad person either. Not to mention, Eva’s political success most definitely had a lot to do with her marriage to Juan Peron as well as her loyalty to him when he was imprisoned {though she didn’t organize the effort to get him out since she had no political clout with labor unions and wasn’t well liked in his inner circle or in Argentina’s entertainment business}, her effectiveness as a political campaigner, as well as other things. More importantly, Juan loved her or he wouldn’t have married her when he got out of prison. It’s very fair to say she loved him since she stood by Juan during his imprisonment, thanks to his political opponents in government who weren’t happy with his growing popularity. Besides, by the time she got sick, Eva was working as many as 20-22 hours a day and even ignored her husband’s request that she take some time off, cut back, and cool it on the weekends.)

Eva Peron was from a humble rural Argentine family. (Yes, she grew up poor but her dad was actually a wealthy rancher named Juan Duarte who was married and had multiple families. However, he wasn’t married to Evita’s mother Juana Ibarguren and when he died, Juana and her children were barred from attending his funeral. Still, Eva wasn’t destined for a good life not just due to poverty, but also because she was born out of wedlock in the days when illegitimate children were rejected and stigmatized. When Eva grew up and moved to Buenos Aires, she dyed her hair blond {she originally had black hair} and changed her name to Duarte. When she married Juan Peron, it’s said she destroyed her birth certificate and forged a new one. Still, if she had any resentment to the upper classes, then there’s a good reason for it who often depicted her as a low class person who slept her way to the top.)

Che Guevara:

Che Guevara was a heroic figure who stood for civil disobedience, rebellion, and freedom. (He also personally killed hundreds of people to spread communism and “liberate” the poor even Cuban rock fans. He saw rock music as a staple of American imperialism and had a strong dislike for it. Oh, and did I say he hated gay people? Still, he was verbally abrasive toward everyone in his unit which sometimes makes him come off as racist toward black people.)

Che Guevara was clean-cut and handsome. (Well, it’s said that he looked like a movie star when he was groomed. However, he had a lifelong aversion to grooming so that didn’t happen that often. Also, he once wore a pair of underpants for 2 months and gleefully won a bet that they would stand by themselves. Gross! In fact, it was his aversion to grooming in which he earned his nickname “Che” which means “pig.”)

Che Guevara’s girlfriend Chichina gave him $15 to buy her a bathing suit when he reached the US. (The money was actually for a scarf. However, she did dump him though and they never saw each other again.)

Che Guevara and Alberto Granado were chased out of a dance hall in Chile and managed to escape in the nick of time after Che caused a scandal by having a fling with a mechanic’s wife. (Unlike The Motorcycle Diaries, they actually stayed in the town for another night, had lunch with a family next door to the garage, and left without incident in the afternoon.)

Che Guevara gave the $15 to an impoverished Communist couple in Chuquicamata, Chile. (He, Alberto Granado, and the $15 actually made it to Miami where Che spent the money on a scarf he sent to his ex-girlfriend.)

Che Guevara was Eva Peron’s creepy stalker who turned up in various points in her life to remind her of her impending death. (Contrary to Evita, Che and Peron never met though Guevara did send Evita a prank letter asking her to buy him a jeep.)

Che Guevara served in the Cuban Revolution as a mercenary and combatant. (He was actually hired to serve as a medic yet he became a combatant later.)

Che Guevara was shot dead in Bolivia three times. (He was shot 9 times.)

Miscellaneous:

Argentina was a haven for Nazis. (Argentina wasn’t the only country to grant asylum to Nazis but gets a bad name for welcoming guys like Adolf Eichmann and Dr. Josef Mengele. Other Latin American countries did the same thing and so did Russia and the US. Still, many Latin American countries also provided asylum for many Jewish immigrants after the Holocaust as well. It’s a strange place.)

Peru:

The sundial at the Inti Huatana had a piece broken off around the 1950s. (It was in perfect condition at this time and the damage occurred in 2000 when a crane fell on it. Of course, you couldn’t show that in The Motorcycle Diaries.)

Chile:

Journalist Charles Horman’s body was shipped back from Chile after he was killed in the Pinochet’s regime. (While there is a scene of what is believed to be Horman’s body in the final image of Missing, DNA evidence has determined that the remains shipped back to Charles’ family in the United States didn’t belong to him. Still, as of now, they never found his body.)

Pinochet’s coup took place around the 1973 Christmas season. (Contrary to The House of the Spirits, it took place in September of that year, a little early to buy Christmas presents, you think?)

Venezuela:

Carlos the Jackal was a diabolical mastermind who was part of many assassinations and was never caught. (He was just a bumbling terrorist with a huge ego that led to his downfall with his 1994 capture. His past reputation was highly exaggerated and he wasn’t viewed that highly dangerous as movies claim him to be in real life {only said to have killed 11 people and injured 150 during his attacks}. Still, there are plenty of movies made with him as a main villain when he’d already been caught. Seriously, the Bourne series gives him too much credit.)

Paraguay:

Dr. Josef Mengele was a diabolical mastermind who tried to clone Adolf Hitler and launch am elaborate political scheme to recreate the Fourth Reich. (For one, while Mengele was a psychotic State-sponsored serial killer worthy of his nickname “The Angle of Death” he was actually a totally incompetent scientist {to the point other Nazi scientists thought him as a highly unqualified butcher} who wouldn’t be capable of undergoing a cloning project that was at least a century ahead of its time, let alone plan an elaborate scheme to recreate the Fourth Reich. Oh, and while he was in Paraguay for some time, he was actually living in Brazil where he died in 1979, hence the title, The Boys from Brazil from 1978. Still, he could’ve actually seen the movie despite having his health greatly deteriorated by that point.)

Dr. Josef Mengele fled to Paraguay after Adolf Eichmann was captured by Mossad agents in Argentina. (He was believed to be living in Paraguay but actually fled to Brazil.)

Brazil:

Brazil adopted soccer during the 20th century as its national pastime. (Soccer had been introduced in Brazil in 1884.)

Bolivia:

Butch Cassidy spent 20 years living in Bolivia and tried to return to the United States in the 1920s. (It’s pretty much accepted that he and the Sundance Kid killed themselves in 1908. Yet, it’s the subject of a 2011 film called Blackthorn. Still, he probably didn’t have any children with Etta Place.)