Mesopotamian Mythology Reexamined: the Gods

If you’ve ever taken a course on Western Civilization, you would remember that one of the first civilizations to spring up at this time would be Mesopotamia which flourished in ancient times from 4000 BCE to the rise of the Persian Empire in 539 BCE. Now this area is in modern day Iraq along the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers where it was prone to a series of unpredictable disasters as well as ongoing clashes with city states. Yet, its one of the cradles of civilization and history since it was known to invent one of the oldest systems of writing in the world known as Cuneiform. And whether you tend to be a Sumerian, Akkadian, Chaldean, Assyrian, Hittite, Babylonian, Amorite, or Who-Knows-What-Ian, its mythology is a bit easier to study this old mythology because of literacy and that a lot of the gods were borrowed between civilizations. It also helps that a lot of early biblical stories were influenced by Mesopotamian mythology (note the emphasis of “early” like Genesis), the fact Abraham was from Ur, and that the Hebrews tend to run in with these people a lot, especially during the Babylonian captivity. Still, it’s not a consistent mythology. However, as for the Mesopotamian gods, well, they weren’t a nice bunch so to speak. However, I’m not sure how they compare to the Greek and Aztec pantheons that seem to consist of the biggest divine jerks so far. Seriously, in two of my theology classes in college, we had to read part of Sumerian epic known as the Enuma Elish which is their creation story, and let’s just say it’s not the kind of story you want to hear in Sunday school. Still, the Mesopotamians viewed themselves as slaves to the gods and if they didn’t honor them, they were fucked. And if they did, they might still be fucked. But when they died, they still went to the same gloomy underworld. So yeah, it sucks to be a human in Mesopotamia. Nevertheless, there are a lot of Mesopotamian deities out there but I’m just going to focus the major deities we know most about. So without further adieu, here are the major gods of Mesopotamian mythology.

1. Anu

Anu is the supreme deity of the heavens as well as seen as king and father of the gods. In myths he functions as an authority figure with imperfect parenting skills. Yet, in later mythology, his role is greatly reduced.

Anu is the supreme deity of the heavens as well as seen as king and father of the gods. In myths he functions as an authority figure with imperfect parenting skills. Yet, in later mythology, his role is greatly reduced.

AKA: An

Origin: Sumerian, one of the oldest gods in the pantheon.

Type: Among the Four Primary gods out of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: God of heaven, the stars, and the firmament, lord of constellations, as well as king of gods, spirits, and demons. Dwells in the highest heavenly regions. Sometimes seen as the father of the gods. In charge of the Bull of Heaven which can be used to avenge the gods. Chief god of the Great Triad with Enki and Enlil.

Pro: Was popularly believed to have the power to judge those who committed crimes and created the stars to destroy the wicked. Is generally nice to Sumerian people and rarely goes up to Heaven as far as the Assyrians and Babylonians are concerned. And yes, he was right to answer the prayers of Uruk who wanted to rein Gligamesh in. Gave Marduk 4 winds as a birthday present.

Con: Letting Ishtar borrow the Bull of Heaven was probably not a good idea, especially since Ishtar asked for it because she was enraged that Gilgamesh rejected her (for very good reasons). Also, while he’s Isthar’s father in The Epic of Gilgamesh, he’s sometimes seen as a consort (yeah, I know what you’re thinking). Has a lot of children to different consorts. Oh, and he didn’t do well on his mission to Tiamat but that’s understandable. Nevertheless, despite being the Sumerian chief deity, he doesn’t have much of a personality, doesn’t play a large role in myths, and is rarely featured in art. However, it’s basically due to that he became less of a divine entity in later times.

Symbols and Motifs: Main attribute is the royal tiara and is sometimes depicted as a hermaphrodite or jackal. “60” is his sacred number. Sometimes appears as a bull with a man’s horns. Sometimes seen resting on his throne.

City: Uruk

2. Enlil

Second only to Anu, Enlil is a supreme deity with the propensity to be either as benevolent or destructive to mankind as he pleases. Though credited with giving humans agriculture, he also tried to destroy mankind by sending the Great Flood just because he was sick of the people noise. At least he gets his when he tries to get in Ninlil's skirt.

Second only to Anu, Enlil is a supreme deity with the propensity to be either as benevolent or destructive to mankind as he pleases. Though credited with giving humans agriculture, he also tried to destroy mankind by sending the Great Flood just because he was sick of the people noise. At least he gets his when he tries to get in Ninlil’s skirt.

AKA: Ellil

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Among the Four Primary gods out of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: God of wind, breath, air, sky, loft, and breadth (height and distance) as well as the weather. Father of Nanna, Namtar, and Ninurta. Son of Anu. Is probably the hero in the lost Sumerian version of the Enuma Elish. Decreed kingship and declared fates. No. 2 of the Great Triad among Anu and Enki.

Pro: Believed to be the inventor of the mattock (a key agricultural pick, hoe, ax or digging tool of the Sumerians) and helped plants grow. Advised his son Ninurta on a strategy to slay the demon Asag via his talking mace Sharur which the latter sent to the realm of the gods to seek counsel from him directly. Served as intermediary between Anu and the city of Nippur as well as his No. 2. Was seen as a model for kingship.

Con: Was banished to the Underworld for seducing (or raping) Ninlil. Also requested the creation of a slave race but then got tired of their noise and tried to kill them all by sending a flood. Luckily, Enki couldn’t shut up so Utnapishtim but at least Enlil was nice enough to make him immortal after he cooled off. Yet, he did send predators and naturals disasters to keep humans in check. Oh, and he was the chief deity of Nippur in 3000 BCE before getting demoted to No. 2, and later had his role reduced in the Enuma Elish. But once he makes a decision, it’s unalterable.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Jupiter. Sacred number is “50.” Represented wearing a horned helmet.

City: Nippur. Temple Ekur is known as “the Mountain House.”

3. Enki

Enki is seen as a creator and benefactor of mankind who warned humanity about the Great Flood. He is the keeper of the Mes gifts of civilization. However, his personal life is utterly depraved.

Enki is seen as a creator and benefactor of mankind who warned humanity about the Great Flood. He is the keeper of the Mes gifts of civilization. However, his personal life is utterly depraved.

AKA: Ea

Origin: Sumerian.

Type: Among the Four Primary gods out of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: God of water, wisdom, knowledge, crafts, mischief, creation, magic, life, replenishment, contracts, mankind, civilization, and male fertility. Husband of Ninhursag and father of Marduk. Keeper of the divine powers called Mes, the gifts of civilization (or the rules of the universe). No. 3 in the Great Triad with Anu and Enlil. Attended by a god with 2 faces called Usmu.

Pro: He’s much more fond of humanity than most of the other gods (since he helped create mankind) and is generally one of the nicest and good natured gods around. Had a lot of enduring popularity since he managed play prominent roles in most of the Mesopotamian cultures.Helped humanity survive a massive flood of Enlil’s doing (by pretending to talk to himself). Refused to get involved with dealing with Tiamat. Prefers persuasion to conflict, which he avoids as much as possible. Helped revive Inanna’s in the Underworld after what she did to him (though the gods didn’t give him much choice in the matter. He did this by creating 2 zombies to come to her aid). Built a school of learning for Nidaba. In many ways, he’s basically a Sumerian Quetzalcoatl.

Con: Banged his daughters (as well as his granddaughter and great-granddaughter) while his wife was away with his encounter with Uttu being among the sickest way possible as well as tried to eat their children. Even knocked up himself after ingesting his own semen. Also, has a lot of kids with different consorts. Confused people’s languages for almost no reason. Has a tumultuous history with Inanna who tricks him into giving the Mes when they get drunk but he fails to recover it. Put Abzu to sleep before murdering him as well as bound and gagged his adviser Mummu. Turned Abzu’s body into the heavens. Has a reputation as quite of a trickster and in some ways a Mesopotamian equivalent to Loki.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Mercury and referred by the number “40.” Image is a double helix snake or the Caduceus (a modern symbol in medicine). Shown in a horned crown of divinity and dressed in the skin of a carp. Symbols are goat and fish which were combined into the constellation of Capricorn. Depicted with 2 streams flowing into his shoulder with trees alongside him. Has a scepter with a ram’s head.

City: Eridu, a key sacred center of ancient Mesopotamia.

4. Ereshkigal

Ereshkigal is the ruler of Irkalla, the Mesopotamian netherworld, which isn't fun for anybody. Though not necessarily evil, she can be dark and violent as well as really hates being disrespected.

Ereshkigal is the ruler of Irkalla, the Mesopotamian netherworld, which isn’t fun for anybody. Though not necessarily evil, she can be dark and violent as well as really hates being disrespected.

AKA: Allatu, Irkalla

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Major deity since she’s the ruler of the Underworld

Domain: Goddess of Irkalla, land of the dead or the Underworld as well as death, darkness, and dust. Older sister of Inanna and wife of Nergal.

Pro: Was the only one who can pass judgement and give laws in her Underworld kingdom. As queen of the Underworld, she was a goddess her peers looked up to. She’s not intimidated by any other gods or goddesses. Is devoted to Nergal that she threatened Anu to revive the dead so they would outnumber the living if he ever took him away from her. Is very cunning and clever. Sees her few children as precious.

Con: Trapped Inanna into her Underworld kingdom and only let her go if she sacrificed her husband Dumuzid in exchange for herself (since he failed to mourn her while she was dead). Also forced her to take off her clothes at the seven gates so she’d be stripped of her powers when they met. In later myths, she later gets displaced in the Underworld by Nergal since Assyrians and Babylonians were rather patriarchal societies. Tends to be jealous of her sister’s beauty and has a long name. Can be dark and violent. Really doesn’t like being disrespected.Her abode is a boring, dreary, and crowded place. May have become queen of the Underworld after being kidnapped by the dragon Kur.

Symbols and Motifs: Lion and owl are her animals and lapis lazuli is her crystal. Depicted as nude and winged with talons as feet. Has dark hair and wears a horned headdress and a pleated cape over her shoulders.

City: Kutha

5. Ishkur

As a storm deity, Ishkur can be a force of nature. Sometimes his rains can lead to great abundance and fertility while his propensity for natural disasters can lead to widespread devastation.

As a storm deity, Ishkur can be a force of nature. Sometimes his rains can lead to great abundance and fertility while his propensity for natural disasters can lead to widespread devastation.

AKA: Adad

Origin: Akkadian

Type: Major deity

Domain: God of weather, hurricanes, storms, thunder, rain, and divination as well as inspector of the cosmos. Son of Nanna and Ningal as well as husband of Shala.

Pro: Is the Mesopotamian god who literally makes it rain, which makes the land fertile and prosperous even if they’re barren mountainsides. Can also predict the future.

Con: His storms can bring havoc and destruction as well as tend to bring him notoriety. Plays a minor role in early Sumerian myths where he’s seen as an assistant but had more prominence among the Akkadians and Assyrians due to the prevalence of storms in their areas. But he slowly became less integral during the time of the Babylonians. Can be very unpredictable ranging from benign to outright violent. Is also capable of drought and famine as well as flood.

Symbols and Motifs: Key symbols are a bull, lion, and thunderbolt. Is seen wearing a horned helmet and carrying an axe and sticks. Sacred number was “6.” Portrayed as a warrior holding a lightning bolt and club.

City: Karkara and Assur

6. Uttu

Though a minor goddess of weaving and clothing, Uttu is perhaps the best known Mesopotamian deity of the domestic sphere as well as the model for the perfect wife. However, her relationship with Enki is disturbing.

Though a minor goddess of weaving and clothing, Uttu is perhaps the best known Mesopotamian deity of the domestic sphere as well as the model for the perfect wife. However, her relationship with Enki is disturbing.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Goddess of weaving and clothing. Said to be in charge of everything pertaining to women.

Pro: Had 8 children/trees with Enki with the 8th being the Ti or the Tree of Life. Said to be a model of a perfect Sumerian wife.

Con: Was raped by Enki (her great-grandfather, grandfather, and father) and cursed him when he tried to eat their 8 children (which made him protective of her future to make it even more disgusting, but this is one version). Also, doesn’t appear much and doesn’t have much of a personality.

Symbols and Motifs: Illustrated as a spider in a web.

City: None

7. Nammu

As the original primordial goddess, Tiamat brought forth a progeny of gods with her consort Abzu. But when Abzu is murdered, she really gets nasty and creates an army of monsters.

As the original primordial goddess, Tiamat brought forth a progeny of gods with her consort Abzu. But when Abzu is murdered, she really gets nasty and creates an army of monsters.

AKA: Tiamat

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Primordial Being

Domain: Goddess of primeval waters and the sea. Symbol of chaos and primordial creation. Wife of Abzu, mother and foremother of most of the gods in the pantheon.

Pro: Well, she’s quite the badass and knows how to prepare for what to expect. Warned Enki about Abzu. Can amass large armies.

Con: While she was the sole creator goddess of the Sumerian myths, she is regulated as co-creator with Abzu and became tyrant after his murder. Made her son Kingu consort (though to be fair, there weren’t many guys available who weren’t related to her). Not only that, but she’s said to have a monstrous appearance. Has a terrrible temper that you don’t want to get her angry and is driven to murder her descendents in retaliation of her husband’s (very deserved) death. Gets sliced in half by Marduk who proceeds to create the universe through her hacked body parts. Yes, she’s one nasty bitch.

Symbols and Motifs:Traditionally seen as a dragon or sea serpent along with her husband.

City: None.

8. Ninhursag

As Lady of the Mountains, Ninhursag can be a calming influence in the pantheon as well as a co-creator of mankind.  However, while she cured Enki of his woes, she wasn't happy with him cheating on her.

As Lady of the Mountains, Ninhursag can be a calming influence in the pantheon as well as a co-creator of mankind. However, while she cured Enki of his woes, she wasn’t happy with him cheating on her.

AKA: Ninmah, Nintu, Mamma, Aruru, Belet-Ili, Ki

Origin: Sumerian, one of the oldest gods in the pantheon.

Type: Among the Four Primary gods out of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: Goddess of earth, nature, mountains, and fertility as well as charged with pregnancy and birth. Wife of Enki and mother of 9 of his children. Deity of Sumerian rulers. Said to be the mother of the gods. Said to be attended by foxes.

Pro: Helped create mankind with Enki and created vegetation. Said to help children when still in the womb and feeds them once born. Reputed to be a calming influence among the rest of the pantheon as well as a source of comfort, which is real major asset.

Con: Her role in creating mankind was more diminished in later myths and doesn’t seem to have much of a personality. Also, cursed Enki after he ate the plants that were actually his children to Uttu (in one version, or possibly for his incestuous affairs) so that each plant would cause a different disease (she later helped cure him, but still the other gods had to pressure her). This resulted in a barren earth and Enki begging for forgiveness. Then there’s the fact she has a lot of names and might be identified with other goddesses.

Symbols and Motifs: Tends to be depicted with Omega shaped hair and at times wears a horned headdress and a tiered skirt, often with a bow around her shoulder. Can also carry a mace or baton as well be accompanied by a lion cub on a leash. Fox is her sacred animal.

City: Eridu and Kish.

9. Ninlil

Though her name means Lady of the Wind, Ninlil is primarily known as Enlil's wife and mother of a bunch his kids. Yet, while Enlil is banished to the netherworld for raping her, she comes to his aid as well as help him procreate their way out of there. Hey, the Mesopotamians weren't feminists here!

Though her name means Lady of the Wind, Ninlil is primarily known as Enlil’s wife and mother of a bunch his kids. Yet, while Enlil is banished to the netherworld for raping her, she comes to his aid as well as help him procreate their way out of there. Hey, the Mesopotamians weren’t feminists here!

AKA: Sud, Mulittu

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Goddess of the wind. Wife of Enlil and usually the mother of Nanna, Nergal, Ninazu, Ninurta, and Enbilulu.

Pro: Has an aspect of healing to her. Seems to forgive Enlil of what he did to her since she went to the Underworld for him, according to one story.

Con: Joined her husband Enlil in the Underworld after he was banished for raping her (granted it was Ancient Mesopotamia, but still it doesn’t help that she was willing to have him impregnate her several times to get out of there). Associated with northern winter storms. Still, she seems to be defined strictly as Enlil’s consort as well as a mother to a few prominent gods other than possible inspiration to the Hebrew Lilith legend.

Symbols and Motifs: Very little iconography is attributed to her.

City: Nippur and Assur

10. Nanna

As god of the moon, Nanna is among the most benevolent and respected of the pantheon. However, his temperament is dependent on the time of the month.

As god of the moon, Nanna is among the most benevolent and respected of the pantheon. However, his temperament is dependent on the time of the month. The famous ziggurat of Ur is dedicated to him.

AKA: Suen, Sin

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Among the Three Sky Gods of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: God of the moon, cattle, divination, and fertility. Son of Enlil and Ninlil. Father of Utu. Husband of Ningal. Phases govern the tide as well as the all important growth of crops.

Pro: Great with cows. Can be a diviner of fates or judge of the dead. Had a long popularity and continued to play a significant role in myths after the Akkadians lost dominance. Said to regularly visit his parents. Dispensed wisdom to humans through priests and to the other gods who consulted him. One of the most respected in the pantheon. Reputed to be a benevolent figure as well as a loving husband and father.

Con: Has unfortunate names mistaken for bad things and female babysitters. Temper waxes and wanes on a monthly cycle. Wisdom is said to be expressed in astrology.

Symbols and Motifs: Said to have a beard of lapis lazuli and rode on a winged bull. Symbols are a crescent and the tripod lamp stand. Can be represented as an old man in a flowing beard. Sacred number is “30” referring to the average successive days of a lunar month through new moon phases.

City: Ur, has a famous ziggurat attributed to him. Was once head of the pantheon in that city. A princess basically was in charge of his temple. Also has a seat in Harran.

11. Nergal

As one of the most unpleasant and feared deities in the pantheon, Nergal embodies the most destructive aspects of the sun. He's a raging bully who brings devastation wherever he goes. He accepts no surrender or mercy.

As one of the most unpleasant and feared deities in the pantheon, Nergal embodies the most destructive aspects of the sun. He’s a raging bully who brings devastation wherever he goes. He accepts no surrender or mercy.

AKA: Nirgali, Erra

Origin: Akkadian

Type: Major deity

Domain: God of fire, destruction, war, plagues, and occasionally the sun, especially during the summer or noon. Son of Enlil and Ninli. Husband of Ereshkigal. In later myths, becomes ruler of the Underworld.

Pro: Has a metal band named after him as well as a significant presence in pop culture. Him and Ereshkigal seem made for each other in the Underworld where he made his home, though he did trick his way out if it once which is a remarkable feat.

Con: Tends to be fiery and destructive as well as quite selfish and rude. He’s also a raging bully with a scorched earth policy and a penchant for satisfying his violent urges when he feels like it. Accepts no surrender and no mercy. Said to depict the negative aspects of the sun than anything and is associated with disease, demons, and evil forces. Always leaves a trail of destruction, disease, plague, and wasteland wherever he goes unless it’s the Underworld. More likely feared by the Mesopotamians than actively worshiped outside Cuthah. Also, we’re not sure about his relationship with Ereshkigal (though they might just be unusually kinky)who seems to dominate her in the Underworld in later tradition and doesn’t seem to respect her assistant. Seems not to be liked by the other gods. More like a Mesopotamian Ares.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Mars. Associated with a lion, bull, and rooster. Sometimes depicted with a mace or a schmitar. Can be seen wearing a lion’s mane.

City: Cuthah

12. Ninurta

Champion of the gods, Ninurta plays a role in countless myths fighting monsters and trying to do what's best for the pantheon.  However, sometimes he tends to get a little too into the action. But he's seen as a hero and the perfect warrior among the Assyrians.

Champion of the gods, Ninurta plays a role in countless myths fighting monsters and trying to do what’s best for the pantheon. However, sometimes he tends to get a little too into the action. But he’s seen as a hero and the perfect warrior among the Assyrians.

AKA: Nigrursu

Origin: Sumerian, one of the oldest gods in the pantheon.

Type: Major deity

Domain: God of agriculture, healing, war, hunting, victory, thunder, fertility, rain, and destruction. Champion of the gods. Son of Enlil and husband of Ugallu.

Pro: Brought about agriculture after defeating a stone army of the demon Asag. Said to be a healing god who releases humans from sickness or demon possession. Is known to be a great warrior who fought a series of monsters and demons. Was entrusted by Enki with several powerful Mes. Rescued the Tablets of Destiny from the beast Anzu and the “Slain Heroes.” And used Anzu to as his chariot driver that accompanies him into battle. Created mountains to beat Kur. While he can be quite fiery like Nergal, he’s aware of his duties and strives to put the pantheon first. Seen as the perfect warrior by the Assyrians. Kind of like a Mesopotamian version of Thor.

Con: While he’s not as bad as Nergal, sometimes tends to enjoy violence a little too much since even the heat of battle, the gods can’t prevent him from wreaking unimaginable havoc on enemies and/or the entire landscape. Also, tried to steal back the Tablets after safely returning them to his father, even destroying the security precautions. Can be arrogant and impetuous.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Saturn and the plow. Often appears with a bow and arrow, a sickle sword named Sargaz, and a talking and shape shifting mace named Sharur. Can be depicted as standing over a monster.

City: Nippur, Girsu, Kalhu, and Lagash.

13. Inanna

Better known as Ishtar, Inanna is easily one of the most prominent goddesses and deities in the pantheon.  However, while she may be a goddess of love and beauty, practically all mortal men who've been with her have ended up dead (explaining why Gilgamesh rejected her). Also, she can be such a power hungry and spoiled brat with a very violent temper.

Better known as Ishtar, Inanna is easily one of the most prominent goddesses and deities in the pantheon. However, while she may be a goddess of love and beauty, practically all mortal men who’ve been with her have ended up dead (explaining why Gilgamesh rejected her). Also, she can be such a power hungry and spoiled brat with a very violent temper.

AKA: Ishtar, Inana

Origin: Sumerian, one of the earliest gods.

Type: Among the Three Sky Gods of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: Goddess of warfare, wisdom, love, sex, beauty, lust, and fertility as well as the stars and night sky. Younger sister of Ereshkigal. Wife of Dumuzid. Has her own sex changing attendant No. 2 Ninshubar and her own beautician Cara.

Pro: She’s the most prominent female deity in the pantheon as well as the most recognized Mesopotamian deity with a strong presence in pop culture. One of the few goddesses in the pantheon to retain her prominence (but maybe not much) as well as well as retain relative popularity over centuries. Is said to be very beautiful and knows how to dress. Embodies a lot of independence and self-determination as well as able to know her way around in a patriarchal system. Existence ensures that sex and procreation give joy and continue the circle of life. Recipient of prayers regarding impotency and unrequited love. Is formidable with a fearless nature and fertile imagination. Built a city for Dumuzid to rule called Uruk.

Con: Let’s not kid ourselves, her myths don’t really list her as having a consistent parentage or constant spouse, with her being sexually linked to various gods in the pantheon as well as some mortals to spare. It doesn’t help that a god can be her dad in one myth and her husband in another (like Anu, for instance) and/or perhaps her brother. Also, if you’re a mortal man she wants to sleep with, you might as well control your urges and just say no if you value your life. Seriously, men who’ve slept with her seldom live to tell the tale unless they’re deities. Gilgamesh rejects her for this very reason (but Dummuzid learns the hard way though). However, he soon learns that she doesn’t take rejection well, since she’s a self-absorbed and tantrum prone bitch who asks Anu for the Bull of Heaven (which he warned about causing drought) to terrorize Uruk. She can also start disasters, carnage, chaos, confusion, and all out war to those who disobey her (or just don’t give her what she wants {or does something she doesn’t like}, not that the alternative is much better). But she can be very volatile and unpredictable. Also, descended to Irkalla just to nab her sister’s powers after grabbing Enki’s Mes (by getting him drunk) in pursuit of world domination. Of course, she finds herself trapped since those who enter Irkalla should never leave unless told otherwise. Ereshkigal has a lot of fun with this.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Venus. Symbol is an 8 pointed star or rosette. Associated with lions and frequently depicted as standing on 2 lionesses. Represented by reeds in early iconography. Can be depicted nude or richly clothed with a string of attendants and devotees. Can also have stash of weapons or be seen with carnalian or lapis lazuli. Wears a horned headdress, tiered shirt, and occasionally a cape. In some portrayals, she can even have a beard.

City: Uruk, priestesses were said to practice sacred prostitution in her honor.

14. Utu

Sun god by day, underworld judge by night, Utu embodies the sun's positive aspects by bringing warmth and light. Best known for his image being on the Code of Hammurabi.

Sun god by day, underworld judge by night, Utu embodies the sun’s positive aspects by bringing warmth and light. Best known for his image being on the Code of Hammurabi.

AKA: Shamash

Origin: Sumerian, one of the oldest gods in the pantheon

Type: Among the Three Sky Gods of the Seven Gods Who Decree

Domain: God of justice, truth, law, divination, salvation, and the sun. Son of Nanna and Ningal. Travels through earth from his mountain sleeping quarters through chariot or boat. Presides as an Underworld judge by night (though we’re not sure how he gets any sleep). Husband of Aya who’s barely mentioned (mostly because he’s so busy). Responsible for maintaining order in the universe (and with a pantheon like this, it certainly needs it).

Pro: Was right to set up Inanna with Dummuzid (well, for awhile) and eagerly paid the bill for her wedding. Embodies the positive aspects of the sun by bringing warmth and light. Plays a role through treaties, oaths, and business transactions as well as sees through duplicity so he can’t be fooled. Can interpret divine judgement through omens and priests. Sought after by humans to ward against evil and curses. Protects travelers and merchants. Can also be rather persuasive. Assisted Gilgamesh in defeating Humbaba. Is of wholly heroic and ethical character.

Con: Doesn’t appear much in myths. Of course, he could be quite busy on human matters.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted wearing a horned helmet and carrying a saw edge weapon or a notched dagger. Symbol is the sun or a sun disk (obviously). Sometimes holds a rod and rope. Associated with Saturn and lions. Sacred number is “20.”

City: Larsa

15. Marduk

Though a patron god of Babylon, Marduk is best known for defeating Tiamat using all what you see in a Michael Bay movie at his disposal. However,  he also created the world from her corpse and demanded to be in charge of all creation in order to defeat Tiamat. But to the Babylonians, he was totally awesome.

Though a patron god of Babylon, Marduk is best known for defeating Tiamat using all what you see in a Michael Bay movie at his disposal. However, he also created the world from her corpse and demanded to be in charge of all creation in order to defeat Tiamat. But to the Babylonians, he was totally awesome.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Babylonian

Type: National deity of the Babylonian Empire.

Domain: God of vegetation, justice, magic, law, salvation, and water as well as lord of truth. Son of Enki. Custodian of the Tablets of Destiny.Husband of Sarpanit and father of Nabu. Drives a chariot with 4 poisonous horses. Said to have 50 names.

Pro: Defeated Tiamat in the Enuma Elish (at least the one we’re familiar with) by immobilizing her with the 11 winds while she broke into unstoppable rage and killed her with his bow which he made himself as well as fletched the arrows (while carrying a mace). Can throw lightning and fill his body with flame (thanks to his large hyperspace arsenal). But his mightiest weapon is the rain-flood. Also, trapped her with a net he made as well. Said to have a decent relationship with his dad. Seen as an almost messianic figure to the Babylonians and is said he would visit the Babylon again.

Con: He was basically created by the Babylonians to justify their dominance. Demanded he be made chief deity and have authority over all creation after defeating and mutilating Tiamat as well as creating the universe with her body parts. The notion that humans should be created as slaves to the gods was his idea, which he fashioned out of Kingu’s blood. May have a massive case of entitlement. Killed Tiamat and Kingu in very nasty ways. Created tornadoes. While he’s powerful enough to help people, he can easily destroy them. Other than his parents or some of his other relatives, had zero respect for his elders. Took the Tablets of Destiny from Kingu to affirm his supremacy in the universe.

Symbols and Motifs: Identified with Jupiter. Snake dragon is his symbol along with a spade.

City: Babylon. Temple is ziggurat Etemenanki.

16. Abzu

While he and Tiamat brought forth a progeny of gods, Abzu thought they were too noisy and decided to kill em all. Luckily, Enki murdered him.

While he and Tiamat brought forth a progeny of gods, Abzu thought they were too noisy and decided to kill em all. Luckily, Enki murdered him.

AKA: Apsu

Origin: Babylonian (as a deity, no less)

Type: Primordial Being

Domain: God of primeval waters but only in the Enuma Elish. In Sumer, Abzu is mostly the name of the primeval sea between the earth and the underworld. Husband of Tiamat as well as father and forefathers of a lot of other gods and goddesses. Assisted by Mummu.

Pro: Well, he managed to produce a badass family with Tiamat who seemed somewhat loyal to him.

Con: Decided to do away with his progeny just because they were making lots of noise that was distracting him from his work (which was making babies with Tiamat?).

Symbols and Motifs: Traditionally depicted as a dragon or sea serpent along with his wife.

City: None.

17. Kingu

After Abzu's death, Tiamat took her son as her consort and head of her army. Of course, he had leadership aspirations of his own but as soon as Marduk defeated Tiamat, he was next for the chopping block.

After Abzu’s death, Tiamat took her son as her consort and head of her army. Of course, he had leadership aspirations of his own but as soon as Marduk defeated Tiamat, he was next for the chopping block.

AKA: Qingu

Origin: Babylonian

Type: Major deity

Domain: Son and consort of Tiamat (with Abzu) as well as the general of her army (don’t ask) in the Enuma Elish. Candidate for ruler of the gods. Only appears in the Enuma Elish. Had Tablets of Destiny on his chest.

Pro: Well, he was loyal to his mother, for better or for worse.

Con: Was his mother’s consort and wanted to rule the universe himself. Not sure if Tiamat was under his influence after Abzu was murdered. Fled when Marduk came after despite being head of Tiamat’s army, but he got killed anyway as well as had his blood used to create humans by Enki.

Symbols and Motifs: Like his parents, tends to be depicted as a dragon.

City: None.

18. Dumuzid

Dumuzid is best known as a shepherd god and Inanna's husband whom she built a city for him to rule. But when she's trapped in the Underworld, he's the only man who doesn't mourn and is forced to take her place for 6 months.

Dumuzid is best known as a shepherd god and Inanna’s husband whom she built a city for him to rule. But when she’s trapped in the Underworld, he’s the only man who doesn’t mourn and is forced to take her place for 6 months.

AKA: Tammuz, Dumuzi

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Major deity

Domain: God of food, animals, fertility, and vegetation as well as life, death, and rebirth. Husband (or lover) of Inanna.

Pro: Seemed very determined to win Inanna (even if it was to be king for 36,000 years). Death was widely mourned by not just his goddesses, but also his animals. Reputed equivalent to the Macedonian Adonis.

Con: Didn’t mourn for Inanna when she was killed in the Underworld despite that she married him while he was a shepherd, built Uruk for him to rule, and gave him 2 demigod sons. Luckily he gets to spend 6 months on earth while his sister takes over for him during the winter. Perhaps he relished in Inanna’s absence a bit too much, but we all know what she can be like. Then again, I bet things have cooled down considerably between them.

Symbols and Motifs: Represented by date clusters or heart of date palm.

City: Uruk and Bad-Tibira

19. Mamitu

Mamitu is a judge of the Underworld who knows every history, life cycle, and fate for every creature in the universe. Still, stay on her good side. But she will tell you your fortune, for a fee.

Mamitu is a judge of the Underworld who knows every history, life cycle, and fate for every creature in the universe. Still, stay on her good side. But she will tell you your fortune, for a fee.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Akkadian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Goddess of destiny, oath, prophecy, and fate as well as judge of the Underworld. Decreed fates for newborns.

Pro: Knows the life cycle, history, and the fate of every creature in the universe and will let anyone know (but for a price).

Con: We’re not sure if what she’s saying is real prophecy or stuff she made up. But please, it pays to stay on her good side and you will a long life. Also, if you want to know your future, just send her a blank check to her priests. Can also be a demon of irrevocable curses.

Symbols and Motifs: Has the head of a goat with a raven as a symbol, I think.

City: None

20. Nabu

Son and assistant of Marduk, Nabu engraves the destinies the gods have decided and can determine the length of a human life.  Other than this not much is known.

Son and assistant of Marduk, Nabu engraves the destinies the gods have decided and can determine the length of a human life. Other than this not much is known.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Amorite

Type: Major deity

Domain: God of wisdom, writing, and vegetation. Keeper of the Tablets of Destiny. Son of Marduk and Sarpanit in the Babylonian rendition as well as Marduk’s assistant and scribe. Husband of Tashmetum.

Pro: Engraves the destinies of each person as the gods have decided and can determine the length of human life. Seems to have a decent relationship with Marduk despite possibly being the Mesopotamian equivalent of a nerd.

Con: Doesn’t seem to have much of a role in myths or much of a personality. But since he can determine the length of your life, be on his good side.

Symbols and Motifs: Symbols are clay writing tablet and writing stylus. Wears a horned cap and stands with his hands clasped. Rides on a winged dragon, originally belonging to his dad. Has a long fringe robe under a slit skirt.

City: Borsippa

21. Namtar

A god of death and pestilence, Namtar is an assistant to his mother Ereshkigal in the Underworld. Though people give him offerings to prevent his wrath, he isn't well liked and he knows it. Possible inspiration for the Grim Reaper.

A god of death and pestilence, Namtar is an assistant to his mother Ereshkigal in the Underworld. Though people give him offerings to prevent his wrath, he isn’t well liked and he knows it. Possible inspiration for the Grim Reaper.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Minor god

Domain: God of death and fate as well as minister and messenger to Anu, Nergal, and Ereshkigal. Son of Enlil and Ereshkigal as well as husband of Husibiag.

Pro: Very loyal to Ereskigal and willing to take her place if she can’t come. Can leave and return to the Underworld if he has to. Can be prevented with inflicting pestilence with offerings. Very knowledgeable in anatomy.

Con: Cursed Inanna with 60 diseases on her entrance to the Underworld on different parts of her body. Considered responsible for diseases and pests and can inflict them if he feels like it. Isn’t well liked and knows it. Still, his mother won’t take it well if he’s disrespected.

Symbols and Motifs: Very little iconography is attributed to him. But he’s sometimes likened to the Grim Reaper and may have been the inspiration for it.

City: None

22. Nanshe

A benevolent goddess, Nanshe embodies social justice principles like caring for orphans and widows, advising those in debt, and taking in refugees. Nevertheless, she doesn't figure as much in myths as goddess like Inanna and Ereshkigal do.

A benevolent goddess, Nanshe embodies social justice principles like caring for orphans and widows, advising those in debt, and taking in refugees. Nevertheless, she doesn’t figure as much in myths as goddess like Inanna and Ereshkigal do.

AKA: Nazi

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Major deity

Domain: Goddess of social justice, prophecy, fertility, storerooms, and fishing. Daughter of Enki and Ninhursag. Said to have dominion over all animals in the Persian Gulf.

Pro: She’s a benevolent goddess said to nurture orphans, provide for widows, give advice for those in debt, and take refugees from war torn areas. Can give oracular messages and interpret dreams to foretell the future. Seems to avert being sidelined in later mythology unlike many goddesses in Mesopotamia as her prominence seems to rise that she eventually has assistants. Sometimes other gods rely on her for guidance. Also, sees that weights and measures are correct. Not to mention, helped heal her father Enki.

Con: Unfortunately, the name “Nancy” is probably derived from her, which was a unisex name at the time (she shares the name of a king).Not to mention, she was originally referred to as, “Nazi.” Also, she doesn’t have as much role in myths as other goddesses who quickly overshadow her.

Symbols and Motifs: Associated with birds and bats, particularly ravens and pelicans. Sometimes depicted with scales as well as represented by a fish.

City: Nina. Seat was the Sirara Temple. Also, Lagash.

23. Ashur

While the Babylonians have Marduk, the Assyrians had  Ashur as their patron hero god. However, he's not nearly as memorable.

While the Babylonians have Marduk, the Assyrians had Ashur as their patron hero god. However, he’s not nearly as memorable.

AKA: N/A

Origin: Assyrian

Type: Major and national deity of the Assyrian Empire.

Domain: God of war and Assyria. More of a symbol than a deity but under the Assyrian Empire, he was the chief god who performed Marduk’s tasks in the Enuma Elish.

Pro: Well, if the Assyrians are to be believed, he must be quite a badass, since he tends to embody the Assyrian warlike spirit. And that people still named their kids after him in present day Syria.

Con: Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to have much of a personality and doesn’t appear much. Probably used by the Assyrians to justify their domination of northern Mesopotamia and anywhere else they ruled.

Symbols and Motifs: Represented by a winged disc with horns as well as portrayed with a bow and arrow. Sometimes seen riding a snake-dragon.

City: Assur

24. Nusku

A god of fire Nusku is seen as a mediator between the gods and humanity as well as protector of the family. He also figured in a lot of rituals but not so much in myths.

A god of fire Nusku is seen as a mediator between the gods and humanity as well as protector of the family. He also figured in a lot of rituals but not so much in myths.

AKA: Nuska, Girra, Gibil

Origin: Assyrian

Type: Minor god

Domain: God of fire, light, and human civilization. Patron of the arts. Assistant to Enlil.

Pro: Natural association of all human progress with the discovery use of fire. Seen as mediator between humans and the gods as well as protector of the family, especially during the night where he’s said to ensure good dreams and deter nightmares. Figures in a lot of rituals.

Con: Doesn’t play much of a role in myths and doesn’t have much of a personality.

Symbols and Motifs: Key symbols are a lamp and a rooster.

City: Harran and Nippur.

25. Tashmetum

Wife of Nabu,  Tashmetum is often called to listen to prayers and grant requests. A beauty in her own right, her relationship with Nabu was often celebrated through ritual and ceremony.

Wife of Nabu, Tashmetum is often called to listen to prayers and grant requests. A beauty in her own right, her relationship with Nabu was often celebrated through ritual and ceremony.

AKA: Tashmetu, Tashmit

Origin: Akkadian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Goddess of supplication. Listener of prayers and requests. Wife of Nabu.

Pro: Well, she’s called upon to listen to prayers and grant requests. Said to be rather popular since she shares a name with a queen. Reputed to be rather attractive.

Con: Unfortunately, the only references to her in mythology as far as we know is her marriage to Nabu in which they make love in a garden before her husband hunts an ox. So while she may be a significant figure in Mesopotamia, we’re not sure how big a role she played.

Symbols and Motifs: Very little iconography is attributed to her.

City: Borsippa

26. Ninshubur

As Innana's best friend and messenger to the gods, Ninshubur plead with Enki to revive Inanna after Ereshkigal struck her dead in the Underworld. However,  she also abetted in many of Inanna's schemes as well.

As Innana’s best friend and messenger to the gods, Ninshubur plead with Enki to revive Inanna after Ereshkigal struck her dead in the Underworld. However, she also abetted in many of Inanna’s schemes as well.

AKA: Papsukkal (as a guy)

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Queen of the East, messenger and Inanna’s  second-in-command. Also travels and works for other gods as well.

Pro: She’s Inanna’s loyal confidante who’d do anything to assist or help her. Pleaded with Enki to save her life after she was trapped in the Underworld.

Con: Unfortunately, being loyal to Inanna means having to assist in dubious activities such as stealing the Mes from Enki. And she basically doesn’t do anything to call her out on it. Also, in later mythologies, she’s changed to a guy.

Symbols and Motifs: There is little iconography attributed to her.

City: None

27. Nidaba

As scribe and accountant to the gods, Nidaba kept records, chronicled events, as well as performed any bookwork related duties to the pantheon. She also had her own school and did charity drives with Nanshe. However, she was eventually displaced by Nabu in later myths.

As scribe and accountant to the gods, Nidaba kept records, chronicled events, as well as performed any bookwork related duties to the pantheon. She also had her own school and did charity drives with Nanshe. However, she was eventually displaced by Nabu in later myths.

AKA: Nanibgal, Nisaba

Origin: Sumerian

Type: Minor goddess

Domain: Goddess of writing, learning, education, accounting, and harvest. Sometimes chief scribe to Nanshe and at times scribe to the gods.

Pro: Has a school of learning Enki built for her so she could better serve those in need. Keeps records, chronicles events, and performs various other bookwork-related duties for the gods. In charge of marking regional borders. With Nanshe, she occasionally helps settle disputes with mortals and gives out aid. Also, records visitors to Nanshe as well as takes care of Ninhursag’s temple.Is also a teacher of mortal scribes and divine deities. Many gods turn to her for advice.

Con: In the Babylonian period, she was basically displaced by Nabu. It’s also said she bears some resemblance to Gilgamesh’s friend Enkidu. Also, being a benevolent goddess and divine a accountant, she probably doesn’t appear in myths much.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted with flowing hair and a horned tiara while holding grain and a crescent moon.

City: Eresh and Umma.

28. Geshtinanna

As her brother was dragged off to the Underworld, Geshtinanna  mourned his loss for days and nights as well as offered to take his place. Thus, she tends to remain in the Underworld whenever Dumuzid isn't there. Also seen as a divine poet and interpreter of dreams as well as the goddess of the vine.

As her brother was dragged off to the Underworld, Geshtinanna mourned his loss for days and nights as well as offered to take his place. Thus, she tends to remain in the Underworld whenever Dumuzid isn’t there. Also seen as a divine poet and interpreter of dreams as well as the goddess of the vine.

AKA: Ngeshtin-ana

Origin: Sumerian, one of the oldest gods in the pantheon

Type: Major deity

Domain: Goddess of the heavenly vine, wine, writing, music, and cold seasons. Divine poet and interpreter of dreams. Sister of Dumuzid.

Pro: Devoted to her brother Dumuzid that she was willing to take his place in the Underworld after Inanna’s screw up which put him there (at least she’s there for 6 months). And when he died, she lamented his loss days and nights. Also willing to protect him as he changes into a gazelle.

Con: There’s not much else about her besides what pertains to certain fragments of hymns and Inanna’s descent to the Underworld. It’s said that her cult might’ve died into the Old Babylonian period.

Symbols and Motifs: Iconography is unknown.

City: Isin, Uruk, and Nippur.

Aztec Mythology Reexamined: The Gods

Mexicos eagle

Since October is National Hispanic Heritage Month,I couldn’t think of a better mythological tradition to commemorate in October than the Aztecs. Of course, the Aztecs we know actually consisted of a bunch of ethnic groups that dominated much of Mesoamerica who spoke the Nahuatl language that dominated large parts of Mexico and Central America between the 14th to 16th centuries. Still, while you may wonder why I may discuss Aztec mythology for October to commemorate National Hispanic Heritage Month while there are a lot of Hispanics who aren’t Mexican, I list my reasons here:

1. A lot of Aztec culture was adopted by a lot of from the surrounding civilizations or descended from older ones like the Toltec. In other words, they adopted and combined several traditions with their own earlier ones, which explains why they have several creation myths. And many of while many of the deities I list in this post may have been gods worshiped in other Pre-Columbian civilizations like Quetzalcoatl, we know most of them by their Aztec names.

2. While the Aztecs obviously don’t have the only mythological tradition, their mythology is better known to us than that of any civilization in Pre-Columbian (even the Mayas). This is because the Aztecs were a dominant power in the Americas until the arrival of Hernando Cortez, had a written language, and an educated populace (they were the most literate civilization in Pre-Columbian America at the time due to having a compulsory education system), and had a mythological tradition most people would’ve remembered to write down.By contrast, there’s not so much we know about Mayan and Incan mythology.

Still, Aztec mythology can be rather confusing.The Aztecs had over 100 specific deities and supernatural creatures in their myths. And like the Egyptian gods, many of them tend to have different names as well as different incarnations (either as humanoid, beast, or somewhere in between). It also doesn’t help that Aztec mythology is not known for its consistency and many of them have a lot of different origin stories. Not only that, but many tend to have names which are very hard to pronounce or spell. Still, the Aztecs really didn’t consider their deities as “gods” in the European sense since their their word for one was “teotl” which indicated a force of nature that didn’t necessarily have an Anthropomorphic Personification. And then you have the whole human sacrifice thing the Aztecs were notorious, which they practiced with creativity previously unseen by humanity (mostly to stave off a possible cosmic apocalypse), as well as their deities possessing a notion of duality with their gods being both good and evil. Still, human sacrifice victims were treated similar to Hunger Games contestants than anything, though they were mostly exempted from a fight to the death and guaranteed a place in heavenly paradise. Some would even be seen as representatives to the gods. There are also deities who tend to be the gods of the same thing and its very unclear on who’s in charge of this pantheon. Many of them could die and be reborn many times. Not to mention, their ideas on good and evil were pretty strange. For instance, your afterlife wasn’t based on how you lived, but how you died (and even if you didn’t get into Aztec heaven, the alternatives weren’t exactly hellish). Oh, and for a culture that practiced a lot of human sacrifice and war, every Aztec child was subject to compulsory education while their treatment of slaves was said to be amazing (and more like indentured servitude). So without further adieu, here are some of the major gods you’d find in the Aztec pantheon (or at least the major ones I could find pictures for).

1. Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl is perhaps one of the nicer gods of the pantheon who didn't demand a lot of sacrifices as well as the one most of us know. He's known as a creator and friend to humanity as well as associated with death and resurrection. Still, despite his parallels with Jesus, he is no saint.

Quetzalcoatl is perhaps one of the nicer gods of the pantheon who didn’t demand a lot of sacrifices as well as the one most of us know. He’s known as a creator and friend to humanity as well as associated with death and resurrection. Still, despite his parallels with Jesus, he is no saint.

AKA: “The Feathered Serpent” and “Precious Twin”

Origin: If we go by the iconography, he’s one of the oldest gods in the pantheon with a strong Mesoamerican presence. Though he may be referred by a different name in other civilizations, his feathered serpent image has been depicted in Mesoamerican art and religion at least since 900 BCE starting with the Olmec in La Venta (or as it’s popularly believed). Still, his first documented was in the first century BCE or CE in Teotihuacan which was in the Late Preclassic or Early Classic period.

Domain: God of wisdom, life, knowledge, crafts, arts, morning star, fertility, patron of the winds, dawn and the light, and lord of the West. Patron of the Aztec priesthood, merchants, and learning. Said to be a creator deity having contributed essentially to the creation of Mankind and gave them maize. Also said to invent books and the calendar as well as taught humans crafts, farming, medicine, and astronomy. Sometimes seen as a symbol of death and the resurrection. Of course, this doesn’t stop some Mormons from believing that he’s Jesus Christ (well, they’re both said to be born by a virgin in some stories). Was once said to be the mythical king of Tula (or Teotihuacan) in human form.

Pro: Well, he’s just about the only god who either opposed human sacrifice or didn’t require it (again owing to the inconsistencies). Said to create a fifth world by journeying to the Aztec underworld Mictlán, stealing the bones of the previous races from under Mictlanteuctli’s and grinding them to mix with corn (with the help of Cihuacoatl), and using his own blood from the wounds he inflicted on his ear lobes, calves, tongue, and penis it imbue the bones with new life. Said to be able to fly, very smart, and a rather tough fighter. Not to mention, he’s the Aztec god who’s the most familiar to us and whose name isn’t a nightmare to spell. Also, unlike a lot of gods in mythology, he’s able to keep it in his pants (unlike Zeus) at least when he’s sober (though he’s sometimes said to sire royal lineages or married to Ītzpāpālōtl). Still, he’s considered one of the nicest gods in the pantheon (though that’s not saying much yet the Spanish did depict him as a benevolent figure, but this was out of ignorance though). Said to be a wise and peaceful ruler of Tula who ushered in a golden age.

Con: Spends a lot of time in the mythos fighting his brother Tezcatlipoca (though neither of them were said to be explicitly good or evil or necessarily “better,” they just really hate each other and only teamed up to slay Cipatli. Still, their rivalry caused them to destroy each other’s worlds they ruled and created). Oh, and as king of Tula, he was such a hit there that none of the other gods were receiving tribute. This led to Tezcatlipoca coming to earth, worming his way through his brother’s court and getting him rip-roaringly drunk that he ended up sleeping with his sister Quetzalpetlatl (or a priestess in some stories). Ashamed, he went into self-imposed exile, burned himself to death on a funeral pyre, came back to life, and sailed to the east on a snake raft, promising to return (but probably not as Cortes, since that is more likely Spanish propaganda). He’s also capable of jealousy (I mean he and Tezcatlipoca basically overthrew Chalchiuhtlicue and ended the fourth world in a massive flood just out of envy). Also, introduced humans to alcohol and is associated with ceremonial drunkedness. Not to mention, it’s said that Tezcatlipoca has to keep him from returning to full power or everything would be destroyed. So to say that Quetzalcoatl is the Aztec equivalent to Jesus is quite of a stretch.

Symbols and Motifs: Commonly depicted as a gigantic, coiling, feathered serpent or dragon (but many artists put wings on him which he doesn’t have in Pre-Columbian iconography though legend say he’s capable of flight). His symbols are resplendent quetzels, rattlesnakes (coatl means snake in Nahuatl), crows, and macaws. In his form as the morning star (Venus), he’s depicted as a harpy eagle. As Ehecatl, he’s the wind and is represented by spider monkeys, ducks, and the wind itself. In human form, he’s seen as an old man (explaining why he’s seen as light skinned with light hair). His insignia is a beak like mask.

City: Cholula where the world’s largest pyramid was dedicated to his worship. You could also say his other notable cities were Tula, Chichen Itza, Xochicalco, and Teotihuacan.

Offerings: He usually is perfectly fine without a human sacrifice (or outright condemn it. Still, his reasons are understandable. After all, he’s said to create humanity). He was usually offered birds, snakes, and butterflies as well other animals.

2. Tezcatlipoca

Tezcatlipoca was Quetzalcoatl's rival and archenemy as well as a trickster deity and the closest thing to an Aztec Loki. Still, on his festival a young man would be chosen in his likeness and would live the life of Riley for a year before he'd sacrificed to this deity.

Tezcatlipoca was Quetzalcoatl’s rival and archenemy as well as a trickster deity and the closest thing to an Aztec Loki. Still, on his festival a young man would be chosen in his likeness and would live the life of Riley for a year before he’d sacrificed to this deity.

AKA: “Smoking Mirror,” “The Mocker,” “Enemy of Both Sides,” “Lord of the Near and the Nigh,” “The Young Man,” “Mountainheart,” “Night, Wind,” “We are his Slaves,” “Possessor of the Sky and Earth,” “Two Reed,” and “He by whom we live”

Origin: If we go by the iconography, his figure worship may date back to as early as the Olmec or Maya. If not, then Toltec.

Domain: God of providence, magic, matter and the invisible, ruler of the night, Great Bear, impalpable, ubiquity and the twilight, and the lord of the North. God of rulers, sorcerers, slaves, nobles, and warriors as well as death, discord, temptation, and change. Associated with night sky, mischief, malice, the night winds, hurricanes, the earth, obsidian, enmity, rulership, divination, jaguars, beauty, war, and strife.He’s basically a trickster deity as well as the closest thing the Aztecs had to Loki with all its implications. Said he could be invisible, omnipresent, and could see everything. Is very much one magnificent bastard. Had 4 wives.

Pro: He’s a badass and lost a right leg battling the Cipatli with Quetzalcoatl as well as won seemingly unwinnable battles in Tula. Also, since he’s the god of slaves, he’s very nice to work for and willing to punish those who mistreated theirs. He’s also easily appeasable and generous. Not to mention, he’s said to be rather good looking and one of the more powerful gods in the pantheon. Charged with keeping Quetzalcoatl from returning to full power.

Con: He’s an eternal enemy and rival of his brother Quetzalcoatl (or alter-ego if you want to think that). Basically when upset that no offerings were made to him while his brother was king of Tula that he infiltrated his court and managed to make the Feathered Serpent so drunk that he banged their sister (or priestess) and had him basically burn himself and heading to the east. Still, he’s a smooth manipulative bastard and philandering cad. Not to mention, running off with Thaloc’s first wife Xochiquetzal (which may have been against her will) resulting in the third world’s drought and destruction through fire. Not to mention, suffers from epic mood swings and always looking for a reason to cause trouble.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted as a jaguar or a young man. His symbol was a disk worn as a chest pectoral though he’s associated with smoke, mirrors, and obsidian. As a human, he’s usually portrayed with a black and yellow stripe on his face and a right foot missing (though what it’s replaced with depends on the story). May sometimes have a smoking mirror on his chest or carry smoking knife. Associated with the color black.

City: His festival was the Toxcatl which took place in May. His main temple was located in Tenochtitlan. Also worshiped in Texcoco, Tlaxcala, and Chalco.

Offerings: It was Aztec tradition for the new king to stand naked in front of his likeness while emphasizing his utter unworthiness. He’d also fast for this god as well. At his temples copal incense was burned 4 times a day. Still, during Toxcatl, the Aztec priests would choose a young man to impersonate the god and he would spend a year living like a deity, wearing jewelry, partying, marrying 4 women, and being waited on by 8 attendants. Yet, when his time was up the young man would be sacrificed at Tezcatlipoca’s temple and the priests would eat his body later. The 4 ladies would be sacrificed, too. Then a new candidate would be chosen for the following year.

3.Tlaloc

Thaloc may be one of the more unpleasant gods in the Aztec pantheon yet since he's the rain god, he's one of the more essential. Still, his abode in the heavens is said to be an earthly paradise.

Thaloc may be one of the more unpleasant gods in the Aztec pantheon yet since he’s the rain god, he’s one of the more essential. Still, his abode in the heavens is said to be an earthly paradise. Nevertheless, he’s not the best looking despite having 2 gorgeous wives.

AKA: “He who is the embodiment of Earth,” “Giver,” and “Green One”

Origin: His cult is one of the oldest and most universal in Mexico. Was likely adopted by the Aztecs from the Mayan god Chaac which they may have got from Teotihuacan. Was worshiped in Mesoamerican at least 800 years before the Aztecs.

Domain: God of rain, fertility, and lightning. Lord of water. Associated with storms and mountaintops. Also said to be the lord of the heavens which was a place for for those who died violently from phenomena associated with water, such as by lightning, drowning, and water-borne diseases. Not to mention, his place also took child sacrifice victims and those who died from leprosy, venereal disease, sores, dropsy, scabies, and gout.

Pro: Seen as a beneficial god who gave life and sustenance. Also his name isn’t a spelling nightmare. Not to mention, his home is known as a place of eternal springtime and plenty. Seemed to love his wives (despite one leaving him for Tezcatlipoca, which he handled badly but you could understand why he didn’t try to get her back).

Con: He was feared since he could send hail, thunder, and lightning. Also denied water to humanity that when Quetzalcoatl asked him to make it rain, he made it rain fire destroying the third world. Required child sacrifices and it didn’t help that he was an essential god to the Aztecs. Not to mention, adult sacrifices offered to him were flayed alive.

Symbols and Motifs: His planet form is Venus while his animal forms are herons, amphibians, snails, and possibly sea creatures. Associated with turquoise, jade, green, and blue. Usually depicted with goggle eyes, a cleft lip, and jaguar fangs (though he’s said to have 2 hot wives).

City: Mount Tlaloc was his most important shrine and had 2 shrines at Tenochtitlan and possibly the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacán. Shared the Great Temple with Huitzilopochtli. His festivals were  Atlcahualo in Februrary, Tozoztontli in March and April, and Atemoztli in December.

Offerings: He was offered human hearts from a bowl. Sacrifice victims were buried in blue paint and with seeds. Received offerings of jade, shells, vegetables, and sand. Still, he’s best known for requiring children sacrificed to him from mountain tops and they had to die crying. 7 kiddies would be sacrificed to him in and around Lake Texcoco. Also adult victims offered to him were flayed alive or drowned and their skins worn by the priests.

4.Tonatiuh

Though Tonatiuh is said to be a rather benevolent god who provides people warmth and nourishment through his rays, he demands a lot of sacrifices. Still, he did get the job rather fairly.

Though Tonatiuh is said to be a rather benevolent god who provides people warmth and nourishment through his rays, he demands a lot of sacrifices. Still, he did get the job rather fairly before letting it all go to his head.

AKA: “Movement of the Sun”

Origin: Well, he was a sun god who may have came from the Mayas (with the similar calendar design) since there’s a myth of Huitzilopochtli being the fifth sun as well, and he comes from the Mexica and Aztecs themselves.

Domain: God of the sun and leader of Tollan and heaven. Patron of jaguar and eagle warriors.

Pro: Well, he’s the fifth guy to be the sun after Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl, Thaloc, and Chalchiuhtlicue (well, in some versions at least). Oh, and when he applied for a job, he was a poor, crippled god Nanahuatzin but beat favorite Tecciztecatl for the post through courage, selflessness, and luck. Also said to bring warmth and nourishment to the Aztec people through his cosmic rays.

Con: Since becoming the sun, he demands a huge amount of sacrifices as tribute (though he did sacrifice himself to become the fifth sun). If he doesn’t get them, then he’d refuse to move through the sky unless the gods give themselves up to him. Also, turned the dawn god Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli just for insulting him (then again the dawn god isn’t very nice but still).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a sun disk or the center of the Aztec calendar.

City: Tenochtitlan.

Offerings: Requires a lot of human sacrifices each morning to revitalize but apparently may not be as much as Huitzilopochtli.

5. Xochiquetzal

Xochiquetzal was an Aztec goddess of love and perhaps one of the best looking gods in the pantheon. Still, though one of the nicer deities to humans, she's as forgiving as long as the Aztecs would sacrifice at least one virgin to her every 8 years.

Xochiquetzal was an Aztec goddess of love and perhaps one of the best looking gods in the pantheon. Still, though one of the nicer deities to humans, she’s as forgiving as long as the Aztecs would sacrifice at least one virgin to her every 8 years.

AKA: “Flower Quetzel,” “Maiden,” and “Precious Feather”

Origin: Well, she may have origins in Teotihuacan or be the Virgin of Ocotlan as well as Maya Goddess I, but the jury’s still out.

Domain: Goddess of flowers, dancing, fertility, female sexuality, love, and beauty. Protector of young mothers and patroness to pregnancy, childbirth, prostitutes, and women’s crafts like weaving and embroidery. Associated with creators of luxury items, painters, and sculptors. Representative of human desire, pleasure, vegetation, and excess. Twin sister of Xochipilli and first wife of Tlaloc.

Pro: Well, unlike many of the gods in this pantheon, she’s actually quite nice to look at according to humans and the gods themselves. Also said to be a rather forgiving goddess for human crimes despite demanding virgin sacrifices.

Con: She was Thaloc’s first wife and he took their break up hard when Tezcatlipoca snatched her up and forced her to marry him (then again, she’s been linked to other gods as well as one of the goddesses said to be Quetzalcoatl’s mom). Also said to seduce a priest and turn him into a scorpion. Still, she’s said to have a reputation as having many husbands and lovers (including her brother).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as an alluring and youthful woman. Her symbols are flowers, particularly marigolds. Sacred animals are birds and butterflies.

City: Tenochtitlan. Had a festival held in her honor every 8 years called Atamalqualiztli where worshipers wore animal masks in her honor. There was also Tepeílhuitl and Xochíhuitl.

Offerings: Had a virgin sacrificed to her every 8 years in which she was flayed alive with her skin being put on a loom before being worn. Worshipers would then engage in a ritual bloodletting and bath.

6. Xochipilli

Xochipilli is Xochiquetzal and one of the more friendly gods in the Aztec pantheon in that he's somewhat of a hippie. Still, it's kind of a relief to people in the 21st century that he's the god of gays though he's married and would do it with anyone.

Xochipilli is Xochiquetzal and one of the more friendly gods in the Aztec pantheon in that he’s somewhat of a hippie. Still, it’s kind of a relief to people in the 21st century that he’s the god of gays though he’s married and would do it with anyone.

AKA: “Flower Prince,” “Five-Flower,” and “Flower Child”

Origin: His worship at least dates to the Pre-Classic Teotihuacán or the Toltecs.

Domain: God of art, games, beauty, dance, flowers, song, feasting, creativity, soul, love, fertility, and homosexuality. Patron of gay men and male prostitutes as well as painting and writing. Twin brother (or husband) of Xochiquetzal. Associated with butterflies, excess, and poetry.

Pro: Well, being the god of gays sort of reveals that Aztec society was a rather LGBT friendly one as far as I could tell. Still, he’s said to be the closest thing in the Aztec pantheon to a hippie (which means he doesn’t demand a lot of human sacrifices). Said to turn dead warriors into hummingbirds.

Con: Despite being the god of homosexuality, he’s said to actually be bi in the mythos and married to a human girl Mayahuel (who’s said to be the goddess of booze though) and is sometimes said to be romantically linked to his sister Xochiquetzel. Also associated with tobacco and psychoactive drugs. Nevertheless, he’s reputed to be a hedonist with a playful mischievous streak.

Symbols and Motifs: Hallucinogenic plants are said to be sacred to him as well as mushrooms. Usually depicted as a youthful man though rather skinless. Other symbols are flowers and tobacco.

City: Xochimilco.

Offerings: His offerings usually tend to be hallucinogenic plants, mushrooms, and flowers as well as butterflies and animal skins.

7. Huehuecoyotl

Huehuecoyotl was one of the more popular gods of the Aztec pantheon and its resident trickster deity. Still, whether he helps humanity or causes genocide usually depends on his mood. He'd also hump anything.

Huehuecoyotl was one of the more popular gods of the Aztec pantheon and its resident trickster deity. Still, whether he helps humanity or causes genocide usually depends on his mood. He’d also hump anything.

AKA: “Old Man Coyote”

Origin: We’re not sure where the Aztecs got this god from. Then again, they were said to be from Arizona where their Indians did have a coyote trickster deity.

Domain: God of dance, song, trickery, music, old age, mischief, and male sexuality. Associated with indulgence, good luck, balance, and storytelling.He’s also a trickster deity who can change gender and go both ways. As a shapeshifter, he takes any form he wants.

Pro: Well, he’s said to be rather family friendly and laid back as well as very wise. Also rather protective and beneficial mortals when other gods try to harm them as well as even interact with them directly more than Quetzalcoatl. He was one of the more popular gods in the pantheon. Was the only friend to Xolotl (in some sources).

Con: Whether he helps or harms humans usually depends on his mood. He’s also an amoral and sadistic god who was famous for causing genocide on a whim or provoke human wars for fun. Also has many of his pranks blow up in his face if they’re against other gods. Not to mention, he has the biggest sexual appetite in the pantheon and would hump anything.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted as an anthropomorphic coyote sometimes with black and yellow feathers. The coyote is his animal and is often seen followed by a human drummer as his attendant.

City: None but he was seen as rather an accessible god to the Aztecs though, explaining why he was so popular.

Offerings: If he needs a human sacrificed, he just starts a war.

8. Chalchiuhtlicue

Chalchiuhtlicue is the goddess of water who was dedicated at weddings and the births of children. Yet, she also caused a flood lasting for 52 years and is married to Tlaloc who has kiddies sacrificed to him.

Chalchiuhtlicue is the goddess of water who was dedicated at weddings and the births of children. Yet, she also caused a flood lasting for 52 years and is married to Tlaloc who has kiddies sacrificed to him.

AKA: “She of the Jade Skirt,” “Sad Waters,” “Woman Who Makes the Waves Swell,” “To and Fro,” “Woman Who Lives in the Sea,” “Sea Storm,” “She Who Dwells on the Back of the Tortoise,” and “She Who Shines in the Waters”

Origin: May have been a derivative from the Early Classic Teotihuacan with the Pyramid of the Moon supposedly dedicated to her. Domain: Goddess of love, beauty, fertility, youth, lakes, rivers, seas, streams, oceans, storms, and baptism. Patroness of childbirth, marriage, and water as well as protector of children and fishermen. Consort (and sometimes sister) of Tlaloc (or Xiuhtecuhtli) and co-ruler of the heavenly Tlalocan and mother of moon god Tecciztecatl.

Pro: Well, she was a better wife to Tlaloc and a protector of women and kids. Oh, and she only staged a flood to purify humanity but built a bridge linking heaven and earth for those in her good graces and turned the other residents into fish so they wouldn’t drown. And she’s quite nice to look at.

Con: You wouldn’t want to hear her name at a spelling bee. Caused a giant flood that lasted for 52 years which destroyed the fourth world. Also, don’t expect her to protect any kiddies sacrificed to her husband Tlaloc.

Symbols and Motifs: To her people, she’s seen as a river but usually depicted as a beautiful woman in a blue green skirt carrying a cross. Associated with serpents, maize, jade, shells, birds, jaguars, and green.

City: Possibly the Pyramid of the Moon in Teotihuacán. Still, there were about five annual Aztec celebrations dedicated to her and her husband like Atlcahualo in February.

Offerings: Her sacrificial victims were drowned yet they were mostly adults and only in June. Still, offerings consisted of birds, cougars, wolves, jaguars, and snakes.

9. Mictlantecuhtli

Mictlantecuhtli is the god of the dead and Lord of Mictlan (the deepest place in the Aztec underworld which takes 4 years to get to). Though not necessarily evil, he's not particularly nice and actually tried to stop Quetzalcoatl from creating humanity. Also is as creepy as hell.

Mictlantecuhtli is the god of the dead and Lord of Mictlan (the deepest place in the Aztec underworld which takes 4 years to get to). Though not necessarily evil, he’s not particularly nice and actually tried to stop Quetzalcoatl from creating humanity. Also is as creepy as hell but well suited for Halloween parties.

AKA: “Lord of Mictlan” Origin: Well, if we go by iconography, he was adopted by the Aztecs from other Mesoamerican civilizations such as the Maya and Zapotec.

Domain: God of the dead and lord of Mictlan, the Aztec Underworld.

Pro: Like a lot of death deities, he’s not technically evil and Mictlan isn’t really a bad place to be in (though not ideal and took 4 years to get there through a grueling and perilous journey). It’s said he could also grant life as well.

Con: Name is a spelling nightmare and is rather horrendous to look at (though he has a wife named Mictecacihuatl and would certainly fit right in at a Halloween party). Basically told Quetzalcoatl to not touch the bones in Mictlan and gave him an impossible task by having him play a conch shell with no holes in it (the Feathered Serpent pulled it off anyway, thanks to worms). Forced Quetzalcoatl to drop the bones which caused them to break and scatter as well as forced the Feathered Serpent to move on to plan B. Also tried to trick him into staying at Mictlan forever. Still, he’s also feared and portrayed negatively in myths. Said to take pleasure in human death and suffering. Is a bit too in love with his job.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted as a skeleton in kingly regalia with a toothy skull and eye balls in his sockets (as well as sported an eyeball necklace and earrings fashioned from human bones). Sometimes portrayed as covered in blood. His animals are owl, bats, dogs, and spiders. His symbols are the 11th hour, knives, and the northern compass direction.

City: Tenochtitlan

Offerings: His offerings consisted of human sacrifice and ritualized cannibalism in his temples. Also, offerings to him were usually found in people’s tombs.

10. Huitzilopochtli

Huitzilopochtli is one of the newer gods of the Aztec pantheon who's best known for helping them founding the city of Tenochtitlan. However, he's one of the most bloody since it's said there were over 20,000 human sacrifices conducted in his honor for 4 days.

Huitzilopochtli is one of the newer gods of the Aztec pantheon who’s best known for helping them founding the city of Tenochtitlan. However, he’s one of the most bloody since it’s said there were over 20,000 human sacrifices conducted in his honor for 4 days.

AKA: “The Left Hand Side,” “The Dart Hurler,” and “The Divine Hurler”

Origin: He’s actually one of the Aztecs’ original deities and was brought south with them. Some say he may have been a historical figure (probably a warrior priest king) who was deified after his death.

Domain: God of war, the will, human sacrifice, and the sun. Patron of fire and lord of the South. National god of the Aztec Empire and people. Though he’s not necessarily the chief god, he’s often referred to as such and the closest the Aztecs got. Mythical founder of Tenochtitlan and told the Aztecs to change their name to Mexica. Associated with rules and gold.

Pro: He’s a badass who can use a lot of improbable weapons like a turquoise spear. Said to help guide the Aztec people into founding the city of Tenochtitlan which was the Pre-Columbian Venice in Lake Texcoco (according to legend). Allowed those who died in battle or killed by enemies as captives as well as women who died in childbirth to accompany him to the heavens. Was said to either avenge or save his mother’s life.

Con: When he was born he killed 400 of his older siblings (yet he’d kill other relatives later like putting another sister to sleep and his nephew). Not to mention, had a nasty fight with his sister that resulted in her getting dismembered and becoming a moon goddess. He’s so bright that soldiers needed their shields to protect their eyes from his sight (though he transformed them into hummingbirds and butterflies). Still, he’s best known as the god with the highest demand for sacrifices and heartburgers with hundreds of prisoners having their chests ripped out in his name.

Symbols and Motifs: Could be depicted as a hummingbird, snake, eagle, a soul of a dead warrior, or as a anthropomorphic figure with feathers on his head and left leg, black face, and holding a scepter shaped like a snake or mirror. Associated with light blue and yellow.The sun eagle that devoured a snake on a cactus is supposed to be him. Aramanth was his plant.

City: Tenochtitlan, of course since he was worship at its Great Temple. Also had a whole month in December dedicated to his worship (called Panquetzaliztli). Festivals include Atamalqualiztli and Toxcatl.

Offerings: Usually consisted of a bunch of POWs having their hearts ripped out at his temple before their bodies were flayed, decapitated, dismembered, and thrown down the stairs. Priests would devour the hearts. 20,000 were said to be sacrificed to him over 4 days. Also had flowers and quail eggs bestowed on him.

11.Tlazolteotl

Tlazolteotl is the goddess of sin, lust, and purification. Though one may be absolved of all sin and untouched by the law. But unlike the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation, confession to her was only a one time Get Out of Jail Free Card. Still, best to confess to her after you've been caught cheating.

Tlazolteotl is the goddess of sin, lust, and purification. Though one may be absolved of all sin and untouched by the law. But unlike the Catholic sacrament of reconciliation, confession to her was only a one time Get Out of Jail Free Card. Still, best to confess to her after you’ve been caught cheating. Oh, and she’s depicted eating shit.

AKA: “Goddess of Dirt,” “She Who Eats Dirt,” “She of Two Faces,” “Sin Eater,” and “Death Caused by Lust”

Origin: May have been adopted by the Aztecs from a Huxtec goddess on the Gulf Coast.

Domain: Goddess of sin and absolution, lust, carnality, purification, steam baths, midwives, filth, vice, forbidden love, and sexual misdeeds. Patroness of adulterers, protector of midwives and doctor women, and mother of Centeōtl. Associated with earth.

Pro: Usually forgave diseases and sins caused by misdeeds, particularly sexual indiscretions. One was purified if they confessed their misdeeds to her and the law wouldn’t touch them.

Con: Yet, confession to her was only a once in a lifetime deal and you didn’t want to cheat on your spouse after you’ve done so (since adultery was punishable by death in the Aztec world). She also inspired vicious desires and was thought to cause disease, especially in those who engage in forbidden love. Also shown to eat poo or give birth.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman eating the shit of humanity’s sins and sometimes nude. Sometimes portrayed giving birth. Associated with black.

City: Her festival was the Ochpaniztli in September to celebrate the harvest and pertained to sweeping, ritual cleaning, and repairs as well as casting corn seed and military ceremonies.

Offerings: People would usually give her offerings of urine and excrement.

12. Xiuhtecuhtli

Xiuhtecuhtli was the god of fire and time who was associated with the Aztec New Fire Ceremony held every 52 years. Yet, other than his role in ceremonies, he doesn't seem to appear much in myths.

Xiuhtecuhtli was the god of fire and time who was associated with the Aztec New Fire Ceremony held every 52 years. Yet, other than his role in ceremonies, he doesn’t seem to appear much in myths.

AKA: “Lord of Fire,” “Lord of Turquoise,” and “Old God”

Origin: Worship and iconography at least dates back to the Post-Classic Toltecs.

Domain: God of fire, day, light, year, time, and heat. Lord of volcanoes. Personified life after death, warmth in cold, light in darkness, and food during famine. Considered father and mother of the gods as well as sometimes married to Chalchiuhtlicue. Dwelt in the turquoise enclosure in the earth’s center. Patron god of Aztec emperors who were said to be the living embodiment of his enthroned as well as merchants. Associated with rulership and youthful warriors. May actually be the chief deity of the Aztec pantheon.

Pro: Well, he’s said to be associated with being the light of the world and he’s pretty essential to the Aztecs.

Con: Despite his importance in the Aztec world, he doesn’t appear in myths much, at least in the ones we know. Still, his legends may be lost due to the Spanish burning codices during the Conquest.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted as a young man in a red or yellow face with censer in hand (or arms crossed). Turquoise was sacred to him. His symbols are flint, birds, and butterflies. Sometimes depicted as an old man.

City: Tenochtitlan. His festival was the New Fire Ceremony which took place every 52 years. Also had an annual festival as well lasting for 10 days where kids had their ears pierced and their godparents selected. Also, during the last New Fire Ceremony, the chest cavity didn’t light.

Offerings: First mouthful of food was flung to the hearth from each meal and his temples contained an ever burning sacred fire. During the New Fire Ceremony, in which a fire was lit in a sacrificial victim’s chest cavity. Humans sacrificed to him were usually burned after their hearts were removed, naturally. Also had animal offerings as well which were thrown in the fire every year on his festival.

13. Xipe Totec

Xipe Totec was the god of spring and renewal whose festival marked the coming of spring. However, guys sacrificed to him were killed in a lot of nasty ways which made the spring celebration gorier than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Xipe Totec was the god of spring and renewal whose festival marked the coming of spring. However, guys sacrificed to him were killed in a lot of nasty ways which made the spring celebration gorier than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

AKA: “The Flayed Lord”

Origin: Was widely worshiped in Mesoamerica during the Early Post Classic period and was probably adopted by the Aztecs.

Domain: God of force, war, agriculture, vegetation, diseases, seasons, rebirth, hunting, trades, spring, liberation and lord of the East. Patron of goldsmiths and silversmiths.

Pro: Well, he symbolizes spring and renewal. Also, his name is easy to spell and pronounce as well as likes shiny things. Not to mention, his golden skin makes him not so bad looking for a flayed lord. Helped make the transition from winter to spring as well as guided young men into manhood. Said to cure sickness, especially eye ailments.

Con: He’s said to invent war and his sacrificial victims were killed in very nasty ways since he’s not just known as “The Flayed Lord” for nothing. Also depicted with wearing rotting human skin from a dead person.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as yellow and tan as well as wearing flayed skin and carrying a rattle staff. Sometimes seen carrying a shield and a container of seeds. Without his skin, he’s a golden god.

City: Tenochtitlan and Azcapotzalco. Had an annual festival on the Spring Equinox called Tlacaxipehualiztli.

Offerings: Well, victims were usually young men (soldiers, POWs, slaves, or thieves) who were forced to fight in a fixed gladiatorial match, had their hearts cut out of chests before being flayed with skin worn by warriors and priests, shot full of arrows like Boromir, had their throats slit, or were burned.

14. Coyolxauhqui

Coyolxauhqui was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars. Yet, when her mother fell pregnant, she sought to kill but got dismembered and became the moon by a newborn Huitzilopochtli.

Coyolxauhqui was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars. Yet, when her mother fell pregnant, she sought to kill but got dismembered and became the moon by a newborn Huitzilopochtli.

AKA: “Face Painted with Bells” and “Golden Bells”

Origin: She was probably an original Aztec goddess based on the story with her.

Domain:Goddess of the moon and leader of the Centzon Huitznauhtin. Possibly associated with the Milky Way.

Pro: She was a powerful magician and head of the 400 Southern Stars.

Con: Basically tried to murder her mom when she became pregnant with Huitzilopochtli (perhaps alleging that Coatlicue had been having an affair, which was punishable by death in Aztec society). Was dismembered and sent to the sky when Huitzilopochtli sprang from Coatlicue’s womb. Also, her name is a spelling bee nightmare.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted dismembered with a bells in her hair and skulls near her waist.

City: None as far as I know.

Offerings: I don’t think get gets any offerings or is even worshiped since she’s Huitzilopochtli’s adversary.

15. Metztli

 Metztli the moon deity can be depicted either gender in the Aztec mythos but most contemporary artists have him/her as female. Still, I used Metzli for the moon deity since I couldn't find a painting for Tecciztecatl since he/she may be a female manifestation (or nickname) of the lunar deity.

Metztli the moon deity can be depicted either gender in the Aztec mythos but most contemporary artists have him/her as female. Still, I used Metzli for the moon deity since I couldn’t find a painting for Tecciztecatl and Metzli may be a female manifestation (or nickname) of the lunar deity.

AKA: “Queen of Night” and “Old Mother”

Origin: May have been worshiped in Mesoamerica by the Otomi people before being added to the Aztec pantheon.

Domain: God/Goddess of the moon, night, and farmers. She/he could either be the same deity as Yohualticetl, Coyolxauhqui, or Tecciztecatl or possibly a combination of the 3. Sometimes said to be a lowly god of worms.

Pro: At least his/her name is simple to spell. The Otomi believed he/she sacrificed him/herself so darkness would end.

Con: Though he/she wanted to become the sun but feared its fire. Also, unlike Tonatiuh. he/she failed to sacrifice, him/herself to become the sun turned into the moon instead with face darkened by a rabbit.

Symbols and Motifs: Well, can be depicted as a man or woman and is associated with rabbits, snails, and worms. Said to carry the moon on his/her seashell.

City: None outside the Otomi.

Offerings: Probably doesn’t get any offerings except from the Otomi who saw her as a much more benevolent figure.

16. Xolotl

Xolotl is the Aztec psychopomp and Quetzalcoatl's brother who aided in his descent to Mictlan to steal the bones to create humanity. Still, despite his monstrous appearance, he's actually quite friendly.

Xolotl is the Aztec psychopomp and Quetzalcoatl’s brother who aided in his descent to Mictlan to steal the bones to create humanity. Still, despite his monstrous appearance, he’s actually quite friendly.

AKA: “The Twin”

Origin: Well, dog motifs have been seen a lot in Mesoamerican iconography so it would be no surprised if he predates the Aztecs in the region.

Domain: God of sunset, death, fire, lightning, sickness, darkness, bad luck, and deformities. Brother of Quetzalcoatl. Not a psychopomp in the Western sense but he did serve as the guide of the dead in their journey to Mictlan. The Mexican Hairless dog is named after him and so is the Mexican water salamander. Patron of the Mesoamerican ballgame. Dark personification of Venus the Evening Star.

Pro: Let’s just say he’s a lot nicer than his boss Mictlantecuhtli and his name is much easier to spell. He’s known to guard the sun when it goes into the Underworld at night as well as aid dead souls on their journey to Mictlan. He also assisted his brother Quetzalcoatl (though whether they’re twins or not depends on the story) in helping to create mankind at a considerable price.

Con: Still, if you were going for a dog headed psychopomp, he’d surely be beaten by Anubis in the looks department. Also constantly gets himself in trouble in which he gets scarred by his own lightning and beset by his own sickness. Not to mention, he may not be well liked by the gods in his own pantheon.

Symbols and Motifs: His forms are the Mexican Hairless dog and the water salamander. Usually depicted as an anthropomorphic Mexican Hairless with ragged ears and sometimes crippled. Sometimes portrayed as a skeleton or a monster animal with reversed feet.

City: None since he was the god of bad luck. Then again, he was the patron of the ball game. His festival was celebrated with a pole in August.

Offerings: Let me guess, he was usually honored with Mexican Hairless dog offerings. Not to mention, Aztec dead were usually buried with this dog for their 4 year journey to Mictlan. As for human sacrifices, I suppose he got a cut from the ball game though we’re not sure from which team.

17. Centeōtl

Centeōtl was one of the more important gods in the Aztec pantheon since he was the maize deity. Of course, despite being explicitly a man in Aztec myth (or sort of), he tends to be portrayed as a woman in contemporary art. This is one of the few paintings he isn't and is wearing his corn headdress.

Centeōtl was one of the more important gods in the Aztec pantheon since he was the maize deity. Of course, despite being explicitly a man in Aztec myth (or sort of), he tends to be portrayed as a woman in contemporary art. This is one of the few paintings he isn’t and is wearing his corn headdress.

AKA: “Dried Maize Still on the Cob,” “Maize Cob Lord,” and “Dried Ear of Maize”

Origin: May have started as a Post Classic Mayan maize god before adopted by the Aztecs. Actually he may have been worshiped earlier than that, possibly by the Olmecs.

Domain: God of maize, sustenance, and agriculture. Son of Tlazolteotl and Piltzintecuhtli (sometimes Xochiquetzal). Husband of Chicomecōātl.

Pro: Well, he was a very important deity since maize was a staple Aztec crop. Also, was one of the few fertility gods who didn’t require people being sacrificed in his name.

Con: There’s not much known about him and he doesn’t appear in many myths. Not to mention, he didn’t introduce maize to humans (that honor would go to Quetzalcoatl).

Symbols and Motifs: Usually portrayed as a young man (though the jury’s still out and some artists show him as a woman) with a yellow body. Sometimes portrayed with a maize headdress. His symbol is maize, naturally.

City: Had a maize planting festival in February sometimes consisting of naked women dancing and massive fights would break out.

Offerings: Usually had maize offerings to him as well as human sacrifice through bloodletting rituals.

18. Coatlicue

Coatlicue was a mother goddess best known to have Huitzilopochtli conceived through a ball of feathers to her other children's chagrin. Though seen as a loving mother, she tends to consume everything that lives explaining her hideous choice of fashion.

Coatlicue was a mother goddess best known to have Huitzilopochtli conceived through a ball of feathers to her other children’s chagrin. Though seen as a loving mother, she tends to consume everything that lives explaining her hideous choice of fashion.

AKA: “One with Serpent Skirt,” “The Mother of Gods,” “Goddess of Fire and Fertility, “Goddess of Life, Death and Rebirth”, and “Mother of the Southern Stars.”

Origin: She’s an original goddess in the Aztec pantheon since she’s usually listed as Huitzilopochtli’s mother.

Domain: Goddess of fertility, life, death, and rebirth. Patron of women who die in childbirth. Mother of the Southern Stars, Coyolxauhqui, and Huitzilopochtli (sometimes Quetzalcoatl and Xolotl). Associated with earth, fire, agriculture, governance, and warfare. Possibly inspired the image of Our Lady of Guadelupe after the Spanish Conquest as a Mexican figure.

Pro: Well, she was one of the few of Huitzilopochtli who wasn’t killed by him (or he actually cared about). Said to sacrifice herself in the beginning of present creation in some stories. Usually seen as a loving mother who told her son to make Coyolxauhqui the moon so she could see her every night.

Con: Let’s just say she had a hard time to explain herself when she got impregnated with Huitzilopochtli via a ball of feathers while sweeping a temple. She’s also an insatiable monster consuming everything that lives and a rather fearsome figure in Aztec art. Said to consume and rip human corpses.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman with a snake skirt and a necklace made of human hearts, hands, and skulls. Her hands are typically covered in claws and exhibits hanging breasts. Sometimes portrayed as a ferocious ugly monster.

City: Mount Coatepec but has a statue in Tenochtitlan.

Offerings: Sacrificial victims to her were usually bludgeoned to death, decapitated, and had their hearts ripped out.

19. Chicomecōātl

Chicomecōātl  is the goddess of agriculture who presides over maize growth and harvest. Still, every September she does request for a young girl sacrificed as a thank you gift.

Chicomecōātl is the goddess of agriculture who presides over maize growth and harvest. Still, every September she does request for a young girl sacrificed as a thank you gift.

AKA: “Seven Snakes” “Princess of the Unripe Maize,” and “The Hairy One”

Origin: She may have been a Mayan maize goddess but we’re not exactly sure.

Domain: Goddess of agriculture, nourishment, and plenty during the Middle Culture period and wife of Centeōtl (sometimes Tezcatlipoca). Associated with energy, community, and strength. Presides over maize during the harvest.

Pro: Well, being the goddess of maize so she probably has an important job in the Aztec pantheon. Not to mention, her association with snakes is a rather positive one for the often vilified reptiles (since snakes tended to eat pests).

Con: We don’t know much about her other than being a maize goddess. Some say that she may the same deity as Centeōtl (though with the dual natures thing her presence may make more sense). Also demands a young girl sacrificed every September.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman and her symbol was an ear of corn. Can be sometimes portrayed carrying corn, flowers, death, or the sun as a shield. Also associated with snakes.

City: Had a festival every September. Also tends to share festivals with her husband Centeōtl.

Offerings: Had a young girl representing her sacrificed every September. Her skin would be flayed and worn by a priest.

20. Ītzpāpālōtl

Itzpapalotl is the goddess of flint knives associated with darkness and death. Though her home may be a paradise for dead babies, she's a rather vicious goddess who's reputedly queen of  the notorious Tzitzimitl.

Itzpapalotl is the goddess of flint knives associated with darkness and death. Though her home may be a paradise for dead babies, she’s a rather vicious goddess who’s reputedly queen of the notorious Tzitzimitl.

AKA: “Obsidian Butterfly” “Bat Woman,” “Feminine Warrior,” “Dark Mother,” and “Clawed Butterfly”

Origin: She may have originated as the Goddess 2J from the Zapotec iconography.

Domain: Goddess of stone and flint knives and ruler of Tamoanchan, a paradise for dead babies and where humans were created. Associated with bats, birds, night, deaths, disasters, human sacrifice, war, and fire. Occasionally said to be the mother of Mixcoatl and sometimes the wife of Quetzalcoatl (in his Ehecatl manifestation). Patron of mothers who died in childbirth and dead infants. Said to stand for purification and rejuvenation of what is precious. Could possibly be the Queen of the Tzitzimitl.

Pro: Her abode is an earthly paradise for dead babies. Also seen as a warrior princess figure who has an invisibility cloak. Also said to be a Cihuateteo who may guide soldiers in battle as well as a Tzitzimitl known to protect women. Not to mention, she’s said to know how to dress.

Con: She’s also said to be one of the star demons, Tzitzimitl who are said to descend and eat people during a solar eclipse and attack young men at crossroads. And as a Cihuateteo, she may be said to kidnap children, cause sickness, and seduce men into sexual misbehavior. Once reputed to break the limbs of a sacred tree in paradise causing everything to wither and said to cause storms and drought. Said to be involved in the creation of Aztec booze and isn’t very pleasant at all. Could be seen as a beautiful seductive man eater in both sexual and gastronomical aspects.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a beautiful pale woman in black but sometimes portrayed as a bat, a two headed deer, or skeleton with butterfly knife blade wings and jaguar claws. Associated with flint, eagles, bats, butterflies, knives, obsidian, vultures, and black.

City: None.

Offerings: I’m sure she had humans sacrificed to her because she’s the goddess of flint and knives used to perform them, especially during a solar eclipse.

21. Cihuacoatl

Cihuacoatl was the Aztec goddess who presided over battles and childbirth as well head of the Cihuateteo. However, she's also known to abandon her son Mixcoatl and later regret it as a possibly inspiration for La Lllorona.

Cihuacoatl was the Aztec goddess who presided over battles and childbirth as well head of the Cihuateteo and helped Quetzalcoatl create humanity. However, she’s also known to abandon her son Mixcoatl and later regret it as a possibly inspiration for La Lllorona.

AKA: “Snake Woman”

Origin: She may have been a Toltec goddess before being adopted in the Aztec pantheon.

Domain: Goddess of motherhood, fertility, midwives, and sweat baths. Patroness of Culhuacan and protectoress of the Chalmeca people. Sometimes mother of Mixcoatl and linked with La Llorona. Patroness of women who died in childbirth and queen of the Cihuateteo.

Pro: Helped Quetzalcoatl create the current race of humanity by grinding the bones of the previous ones. Said to predict disasters as well as presided over births and battles.

Con: Said to abandon her son Mixcoatl at a crossroads at Lake Xochimilco and was said to weep for him only to find a sacrificial knife. Was also known to haunt crossroads at night and abduct children, cause sickness, and seduce men.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as an old woman carrying spears and a warrior’s shield though sometimes portrayed as a young woman carrying flowers or a skeleton. Associated with maize, brooms, and snakes.

City: Culhuacan, Tenochtitlan, and Lake Xochimilco.

Offerings: Human sacrifice victims were women offered to her usually had their hearts ripped from chests and were beheaded.

22. Mixcoatl

Mixcoatl is the god of the hunt who created fire with a clever cosmic feat of engineering that has never been repeated. However, his family tree is a real tangled mess.

Mixcoatl is the god of the hunt who created fire with a clever cosmic feat of engineering that has never been repeated. However, his family tree is a real tangled mess.

AKA: “Deer Sandal” and “Cloud Serpent”

Origin: Patron deity of the Otomi and Chichimecs as well as other Mesoamerican cultures. May have originally been a Toltec warrior who was deified or possibly a Mixtec god.

Domain: God of war, the Milky Way, fire, stars, heavens, North Star, and the hunt. Sometimes a manifestation of Tezcatlipoca or Xipe Totec, son of Cihuacoatl or Ītzpāpālōtl

Pro: Name is easy to spell. Said to create fire for the Aztec people with a clever bit of cosmic engineering no one has managed to duplicate called the Cosmic Fire Drill.

Con: Said to have killed 400 of this Northern Stars siblings and his sister with 3 of his brothers. Did nothing to prevent his 400 Southern Star sons with from being killed (though that might’ve been out of not wanting to mess with Huitzilopochtli). As Quetzalcoatl’s father, he was killed by his 3 brothers. Oh, and how he knocked up Chimalma involved shooting an arrow between her legs while she was naked and consent appeared questionable. Not to mention, his manifestations and relations are relatively confusing so you might want to avoid doing his family tree.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted in a black mask with candy cane stripes on his body and long hair. Equipped with a bow and arrow as well as a net or basket.

City: Had a festival in October. Also worshiped in Huejotzingo and Tlaxcala.

Offerings: Well, his honoring had hunters bleed themselves, offer their game during his festival, and have someone sacrificed in his temple.

23. Chimalma

Though Chimalma is best known for guiding the Aztecs from Aztlan, being Huitzilopochtli's shield bearer, and mother of Quetzelcoatl, she's little known for much else. Still, she either conceived the Feathered Serpent through swallowing a jade or sleeping with Mixcoatl after he shot an arrow between her legs.

Though Chimalma is best known for guiding the Aztecs from Aztlan, being Huitzilopochtli’s shield bearer, and mother of Quetzelcoatl, she’s little known for much else. Still, she either conceived the Feathered Serpent through swallowing a jade or sleeping with Mixcoatl after he shot an arrow between her legs.

AKA: “Shield Hand”

Origin: She may have been a Toltec goddess or a deity of the Chichimeca.

Domain: Goddess of fertility, life, death, and rebirth. Best known as the mother of Quetzalcoatl (though stories of his conception are a bit crazy).

Pro: Accompanied the Aztecs from their homeland of Atzlan as well as served as shield bearer to Huitzilopochtli.

Con: There’s not much about her and she’s really not known for much else besides being the mother to Quetzalcoatl.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman. Her symbols are an arrow, shield, and jade.

City: None.

Offerings: I’m not sure she had any offerings.

24. Toci

Toci was the goddess of cleanliness, health, and midwives.  Still, on her special time, a woman would be sacrificed by being beheaded and flayed.

Toci was the goddess of cleanliness, health, and midwives. Still, on her special time, a woman would be sacrificed by being beheaded and flayed.

AKA: “Our Grandmother,” “Mother of the Gods,” “Woman of Discord,” and “Heart of the Earth”

Origin: She’s most likely an original Aztec deity as far as I could tell.

Domain: Goddess of healing, sweat baths, hygiene, and midwives. May be an aspect of Tlazolteotl. Was once a princess of Culhuacan before she was ordered to be flayed and sacrificed instead of offered in marriage to an Aztec nobleman, thanks to Huitzilopochtli. Associated with war.

Pro: Name is easy to spell and pronounce. Also, she’s a healer who emphasizes hygiene and cleanliness.

Con: Let’s just say she has a demand for women to be sacrificed in her honor and not screaming, despite going through the process herself.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman with cotton spools on her headdress and a black mark on her cheek. Though said to be old she’s not usually portrayed as such. Her symbol is a broom, shield, and arrows.

City: Ochpaniztli was her festival time that precipitated a sweeping frenzy.

Offerings: In her honor, a woman was either beheaded or had her heart cut out then flayed. Usually she’d be lured through a deception that she was about to see the ruler.

Greek Mythology Reexamined: Minor Deities, Protogenoi, and Titans

While I basically covered all the major Ancient Greek gods months ago like in January, the Ancient Greek pantheon is among the most diverse with hundreds of gods and goddesses. And according to Greek mythology the famous gods we all know and love on Mount Olympus aren’t even the original generation. You have the Protogenoi who were created in the beginning by a god known as Chaos which is just a primordial void through which most things came into existence. Those gods who originated from Khaos were among the first as with the Greek mythological narrative. The Titans consisted of a couple classes of gods. The first generation of Titans were the second generation of Greek deities to rule the world after Cronus chopped off his dad Uranus’ genitalia in order to release his siblings (I’m not making this up). Of course, this group of Titans’ rule didn’t last since Cronus would swallow his children with the exception of one (Zeus) who basically had his dad regurgitate them and a stone decoy. The first generation of Titans would be overthrown by Zeus and the Olympians and sent to Tartarus. The second generation of Titans consist of a class of gods who were the offspring of the first generation, other than Cronus and Rhea. And then you have a group of minor deities who could be characters in the Greek myths or the anthropomorphic personification of some concept. Still, since these are large classes of deities I’m dealing with, I’ll only go over some of the most important which aren’t part of any ensemble. So without further adieu, if you’re stuck in the Greek mythological world, here are some things you need to know about the common minor figures.

1. Gaia

Sure she may be Greek Mythology's Mother Nature herself, but she's one nasty bitch who couldn't care less about how many trees you cut down or oceans you pollute. All that concerned her was what was causing her pain or filling her bowels at the moment as well as those who worshiped her.

Sure she may be Greek Mythology’s Mother Nature herself, but she’s one nasty bitch who couldn’t care less about how many trees you cut down or oceans you pollute. All that concerned her was what was causing her pain or filling her bowels at the moment as well as those who worshiped her.

AKA: Gaea, Terra Mater, Tellus, Mother Earth, Mother Nature

Type: Protogenoi

Domain:The primal Greek goddess of the earth and great mother to all such as the Earth and all the Universe, the heavenly gods, the Titans, and giants.

Pro: Well, she’s very powerful and not someone even Zeus wouldn’t mess with. Also, very much loved by Neopagans and rewarded those who worshiped her. Really cared about her followers so perhaps Neopagans are rather safe to benefit her if she ever causes an apocalypse.

Con: Despite being Mother Nature, she’s not much of a benevolent figure as the true force of Nature. She seemed to care for little else so long as they weren’t filling her bowels or causing her pain. Couldn’t care how many trees you cut down or oceans you pollute. Also spawned several monsters to kill the ruling gods whether it be Uranus or Zeus. Not to mention, she prefers to spawn minor demonic monsters to do her dirty work. Still, we’re not sure whether she cared for her offspring or just wanted them out of her. Also bore a lot of children with her own kids (like Uranus) and descendants.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: Earth.

2. Uranus

Yes, his name may inspire shits and giggles since it reminds many of somebody's butt hole. Yet, Uranus basically lived up to his name as a literal divine primordial asshole who imprisoned his own kids he thought were ugly. Serves him right to have his nuts cut off by Cronus.

Yes, his name may inspire shits and giggles since it reminds many of somebody’s butt hole. Yet, Uranus basically lived up to his name as a literal divine primordial asshole who imprisoned his own kids he thought were ugly. Serves him right to have his nuts cut off by Cronus.

AKA: Ouranus, Caelus

Type: Protogenoi

Domain: The primal sky god and father of the giants, cyclops, Hecatonchires, and the first generation Titans.

Pro: Well, he was right about what would happen to Cronus, even if he made that prophecy out of spite.

Con: He was a cruel and evil tyrant and abusive dad who imprisoned his children in Tartarus (or Gaia’s womb) because of their bizarre appearances. This led to Gaia to shape a great flint sickle blade and asked her sons to castrate him. Only Cronus was willing to do the honor. The drops from his blood became the avenging Furies and in some stories, his genitals would become mixed in the ocean’s foam and create Aphrodite. Not to mention, he’s Gaia’s also son alongside being her consort. Also, his name has basically become the butt of inappropriate jokes related to butts. Then again, he was a literal asshole in Greek mythology so the name fits.

Patron City: None for there was no cult addressing him that had survived into Classical times.

Symbols: sky and sphere usually carried by Atlas

3. Nyx

Nyx was the Greek primordial goddess of night known for her exceptional power and beauty. Still, she's so protective of her many children (unpleasant or not) that not even Zeus wants to risk taking her on.

Nyx was the Greek primordial goddess of night known for her exceptional power and beauty. Still, she’s so protective of her many children (unpleasant or not) that not even Zeus wants to risk taking her on.

AKA: Nox

Type: Protogenoi

Domain: Primal goddess of the night and mother of many deities with her brother Erebus.

Pro: Often portrayed as someone with exceptional power and beauty. Also, she’s seen as a decent mom that you don’t want to mess with her. Not only that, but even Zeus is afraid of her that he allowed her son Hypnos escape which caused a lot of misfortune to Hercules.

Con: She’s kind of a shadowy figure and rather unpredictable. Doesn’t appear much and only ever seen in glimpses and her appearances are sparse in the surviving mythology. Not only that, but a lot of her kids are personified deities that represent things that aren’t so nice like death, old age, doom, and others. Said to live on Tartarus and bore a lot of her kids with her brother.

Patron City: Megara where she had an oracle according to the geographer Pausanias.

Symbols: black cloth representing the cover of night

4. Cronus

 Cronus may be seen as a god of time and patron of the harvest. Yet, he's one mean son of a bitch who basically castrated his dad (justifiably though), disrespected his mom Gaia's wish to free his siblings, and ate his kids (save for Zeus). There's a good reason why Zeus overthrew his Titan dad as king of the gods.

Cronus may be seen as a god of time and patron of the harvest. Yet, he’s one mean son of a bitch who basically castrated his dad (justifiably though), disrespected his mom Gaia’s wish to free his siblings, and ate his kids (save for Zeus). There’s a good reason why Zeus overthrew his Titan dad as king of the gods.

AKA: Saturn, Cronos

Type: First generation Titan

Domain: Youngest and leader of the first generation of Titans as well as a god of agriculture and fertility. Patron of the harvest. In Roman mythology, he’s the god of time (though Saturn might’ve started out as a completely separate deity before being merged into Cronus.)

Pro: In some myths, he’s said to have brought a golden age of to Man which ended in Zeus’ reign. Still, had a good reason to castrate and overthrow his dad Uranus.

Con: Let’s see, castrated his dad, turned his back on his imprisoned siblings (as well as disrespected his mom Gaia’s wish to free them), probably raped his wife Rhea (who was also his sister), and even devoured his newborn children (except for Zeus who made him vomit his siblings out). Let’s just say he didn’t turn out much better than his dad or perhaps worse.

Patron City: None, but he did have his own festival in Athens called Kronia. Of course, the Romans viewed him more positively and had at least one temple to him as well as a festival called Saturnalia (which doesn’t have a lot in common in Christmas though both holidays share a few customs).

Symbols: hourglass, sickle, scythe, and harpe

5. Oceanus

Before there was Poseidon, there was Oceanus who ruled the waves. Still, not taking sides in the war between the Titans and Olympians and the overthrowing of Uranus explains why he avoided Tartarus.

Before there was Poseidon, there was Oceanus who ruled the waves. Still, not taking sides in the war between the Titans and Olympians and the overthrowing of Uranus explains why he avoided Tartarus. Still, he’s the one with a serpentine tail and horns.

AKA: Ocean

Type: First generation Titan but might’ve started as a Protogenoi.

Domain: Said to be the original ruler of Olympus before Cronus cast him into the sea. Ruled over the sea during the Titanomarchy and regulated the rising and setting of heavenly bodies, which the Greeks believed to have emerged and descended into his watery realms at the ends of the earth. Also said to be the father of rivers and streams as well as the ocean nymphs. Not to mention, had a bunch of kids with his sister Tethys.

Pro: Didn’t take sides in things like the Titanomarchy or overthrowing his father Uranus, which was the reason why he probably stuck around. Waterways were said to originate from his own tears.

Con: Doesn’t appear much in myth other than in the story of Hercules and the sun bowl or the wedding between Thetis and Peleus.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: ocean waves

6. Selene

Selene is the goddess of the moon who drives a chariot across the night sky. Unfortunately, she's also known for her obsession with Endymion and was said to have born 50 daughters by him after he was put into eternal sleep. Yeah, you can guess the disturbing unfortunate implications there.

Selene is the goddess of the moon who drives a chariot across the night sky. Unfortunately, she’s also known for her obsession with Endymion and was said to have born 50 daughters by him after he was put into eternal sleep. Yeah, you can guess the disturbing unfortunate implications there.

AKA: Luna, Phoebe, Cynthia

Type: Second generation Titan

Domain: Goddess of the moon who drove a moon chariot across the heavens.

Pro: She’s said to take on the dreaded monster Typhon which is said to be why the moon has craters. Doesn’t have a lot of lovers unlike a lot of gods in this pantheon (I’m talking to you Zeus).

Con: Unfortunately, her best known story has her obsessed with the handsome mortal Endymion who was put into eternal sleep in a cave on Mount Latmus. Didn’t stop her from visiting him or in some stories making out with or bearing 50 daughters to him which kind of puts her up there with Zeus as one of the rapiest gods of the Greek pantheon. Let’s just say that her relationship with Endymion is very unhealthy.

Patron City: Well, she’s said to have had an oracular sanctuary near Thalamai in Laconia as well as Elis and perhaps had a festival in Athens called the Pandia. Yet, other than possible moon cults in Minoan Crete, the role of the  moon itself in magic, folklore, and poetry, and the later worship of the Phrygian moon-god men, there was relatively little worship of her as a goddess.

Symbols: crescent, raised cloak, bull, rooster, dog, torch, and the moon, naturally.

7. Helios

Helios is best known as the god of the sun who drives a chariot of fiery horses. Still, while he's capable of violent strength, he's sometimes unable to defend himself such as the time when Odysseus men killed his sacred cattle.

Helios is best known as the god of the sun who drives a chariot of fiery horses. Still, while he’s capable of violent strength, he’s sometimes unable to defend himself such as the time when Odysseus men killed his sacred cattle. Still, letting his son drive his chariot was a bad idea.

AKA: Sol, Phoebus

Type: Second generation Titan

Domain: God of the sun who drove a chariot of fiery steeds across the sky.

Pro: Helped Hercules complete the labor of Erytheia to retrieve Greyon’s cattle by lending him his giant cup. Still, he’s usually nice unless he’s pissed off. Also, whether Demeter liked it or not, he was right about Hades being perfect for Persephone.

Con: Let’s just say despite that he’s capable of violent strength on multiple occasions, he’s often depicted as weak and incapable of fighting for himself. Also, when Odysseus’ men slay his sacred cattle, he told Zeus, “Either you kill these guys or else I’m going to the Underworld.” This results in Odysseus being stranded on Thrinacia as well as losing his ship and crew. Doesn’t help that his daughters on that island were witches with “evil eye” power derived from himself (with Circe being the most famous of his). Also, let his son Phaeton drive his chariot, which didn’t end well.

Patron City: Rhodes where there was once a giant statue of him which was one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. The island city also held gymnastics tournaments in his honor. Also had a significant following cult in Corinth.

Symbols: chariot with flaming horses and the sun, of course.

8. Eos

Eos is the goddess of dawn who either opens the gates for her brother Helios or harnesses his horses just before he goes out. Also known for kidnapping a series of young men after being cursed with insatiable lust after her affair with Ares. Also, her laying her son Memnon on her lap might've inspired the Pieta.

Eos is the goddess of dawn who either opens the gates for her brother Helios or harnesses his horses just before he goes out. Also known for kidnapping a series of young men after being cursed with insatiable lust after her affair with Ares. Also, her laying her son Memnon on her lap might’ve inspired the Pieta.

AKA: Aurora

Type: Second generation Titan

Domain: Goddess of dawn who either opens the gates for her brother Helios or harnesses the horses on his chariot. Also, rose each morning from her home at the edge of the Oceanus.

Pro: Well, she took her son Memnon’s death in the Trojan War hard and is sometimes depicted as holding him across her knees like in the Christian Pieta paintings.

Con: Well, after caught having an affair with Ares by Aphrodite, she was cursed with an unquenchable lust which led her to abduct several handsome young men. One of her conquests ended up having to spend eternity as an old man since she forgot to ask that he have eternal youth. Another was accidentally killed.

Patron City: Well, she did have a cult in the Roman city of Matuta where she had her own festival as Aurora called the Matralia, which was only for women during their first marriage.

Symbols: golden throne, saffron rose, and angel wings.

9. Prometheus

Here's Prometheus being chained to the Caucasian mountains and having a giant eagle devour his liver on a daily basis all because he stole fire from Mount Olympus for humanity. Of course, he knew this would happen when Zeus would find out. Luckily, he'll be freed by Hercules soon enough.

Here’s Prometheus being chained to the Caucasian mountains and having a giant eagle devour his liver on a daily basis all because he stole fire from Mount Olympus for humanity. Of course, he knew this would happen when Zeus would find out. Luckily, he’ll be freed by Hercules soon enough.

AKA: None

Type: Second generation Titan

Domain: One of the original Titans who either remained neutral during the Titanomarchy’s struggle against the Olympians or sided with Zeus. He’s best known for stealing fire from the gods for humanity and suffering eternal punishment as a result by having a large eagle devouring his liver on a daily basis while chained to the Caucasian Mountains. That is, until Hercules frees him.

Pro: He was smart not to side with the Titans and he’s the only god who’d unfailingly put humanity before himself. So much that he only claimed the inedible parts of cattle to be reserved for ritual sacrifices and stole fire from Mount Olympus for humanity despite knowing what Zeus would do with him. Also, when Hercules freed him, Zeus didn’t seem to mind since he told him to let Thetis marry Peleus since her son would be greater than his father. This probably save Zeus’ throne. Not to mention, he’s one of the most popular figures in Greek Mythology with his legend enjoying appeal up to today.

Con: Let’s just say that if he wasn’t chained to a rock somewhere his brother probably wouldn’t have married Pandora. Then again, her story is rather sexist in itself and Epimetheus is kind of an idiot anyway.

Patron City: Athens where there was an altar honoring him at the Academy as well as the Panathenic festival held in his honor where there was a torch race from the altar to the Parthenon.

Symbols: torch, chains, wreath of thorns, and giant eagle

10. Atlas

Contrary to popular imagery, Atlas' job wasn't to hold up the Earth, it was the Heavens. Still, let's just say people today don't get how the Ancient Greeks saw in cosmology. Nevertheless, he's best associated with geography.

Contrary to popular imagery, Atlas’ job wasn’t to hold up the Earth, it was the Heavens. Still, let’s just say people today don’t get how the Ancient Greeks saw in cosmology. Nevertheless, he’s best associated with geography.

AKA: None

Type: Second generation Titan

Domain: Titan who was charged with holding up the sky away from the Earth to prevent the two from “embracing” as punishment for siding with the Titans against the Olmypians. Also associated with navigation and astronomy, obviously.

Pro: Helped Hercules fetch the golden apples while the Greek strongman did his task. Also didn’t fool around as much.

Con: Tried to trick Hercules with holding up the heavens permanently, but the demigod tricked him into retaking his load (either by running away or building the two great Pillars of Hercules which liberated him from his load).

Patron City: None, but he has a whole ocean named after him though.

Symbols: globe

11. Eros

Though typically seen as a cute little cherub associated with Valentine's Day, Eros actually is supposed to be depicted as a handsome young man who wasn't much into clothing. Yet, he's best remembered for shooting his arrows which can inspire love or hate.

Though typically seen as a cute little cherub associated with Valentine’s Day, Eros actually is supposed to be depicted as a handsome young man who wasn’t much into clothing. Yet, he’s best remembered for shooting his arrows which can inspire love or hate.

AKA: Cupid

Type: Well, depending on source. In some myths he’s a Protogenoi and in others a minor deity as the son of Aphrodite.

Domain: God of love as well as sexual desire and attraction.

Pro: Though usually dainty and non-threatening, he could best even the greatest of gods (usually by taking pot shots from far away with his bow that had arrows which could inspire both love and hate). He’s also one of the most benevolent and good natured gods to mortals as well as a constant and faithful companion for his mother Aphrodite (in stories he is her son). If he’s a protogenoi, he helps create the world with Chaos as a procreation deity. Genuinely loved and was faithful to Psyche.

Con: He has a mischievous side and his arrows can just as much inspire hate as love. You can guess that the Greeks believed his arrows could lead to stalkerism and sex crimes. Also, though genuinely nice, he does have a temper and could be coldly unforgiving to those who insult him as Apollo found out the hard way. Yet, he only reserves his wrath for the immortal side of his family. Not to mention, has no shame with taking his clothes off. Also, refused to show himself to Psyche that led him to abandon her for awhile.

Patron City: Was worshiped as a fertility cult in Thespiae and was rather popular in Athens.

Symbols: bow, arrow, candle heart, cupid, wings, and kisses

12. Psyche

Psyche who was the goddess of soul was once a mortal princess who Eros fell in love with despite Aphrodite's jealousy. Best known for her beauty, determination, and her insatiable curiosity that almost left her for dead when she looked into a box of beauty.

Psyche who was the goddess of soul was once a mortal princess who Eros fell in love with despite Aphrodite’s jealousy. Best known for her beauty, determination, and her insatiable curiosity that almost left her for dead when she looked into a box of beauty.

AKA: None

Type: Minor deity since she used to be mortal and former princess of Sicily.

Domain: Goddess of the soul and wife of Eros.

Pro: She was as well known for her beauty that not even Eros was immune to her charms and fell for her. She completed several seemingly impossible tasks to win back her husband Eros even if she had to petition to every god in the pantheon (which only took three but unfortunately the third was her mother-in-law Aphrodite). Was the only female mortal to travel to the underworld and succeed in her quest as well as one of the few to achieve immortality. And she did all this while pregnant and not knowing what Eros looked like.

Con: Unfortunately, she tends to let her curiosity get the best of her such as wanting to see Eros’ true form after her sisters basically tried to convince her that she might’ve married a horrible monster (despite that she previously had sex with him and conceived a child by this point. Don’t ask.) This leads her to suspect her husband as a winged serpent as well as confront him only armed with a lamp and a steak knife. Oh, and she nearly died after peeking into the box of beauty which lead to Eros saving her with a true love’s kiss as well as standing up to his mother.

Patron City: None

Symbols: a box of beauty

13. Pan

Of course, this satyr like god Pan is best associated with nature, pleasure, and sexuality who couldn't care less what goes on at Mount Olympus so much as it doesn't pertain to him. Still, out of the Greek pantheon, he's probably the one who'd most likely show up at Woodstock.

Of course, this satyr like god Pan is best associated with nature, pleasure, and sexuality who couldn’t care less what goes on at Mount Olympus so much as it doesn’t pertain to him. Still, out of the Greek pantheon, he’s probably the one who’d most likely show up at Woodstock.

AKA: Faunus

Type: Minor deity as the son of Hermes.

Domain: God of nature, the wild, goats, mountains, fields, forests, shepherds, and male sexuality.

Pro: He’s more concerned with the preservation of nature and the enjoyment of earthly pleasures such as music and sex. Though he often pals around with Dionysus, he generally doesn’t interact with other gods (besides his dad Hermes) because he simply doesn’t care about their political schemes unless it concerns him directly. Also generally friendly.

Con: Though he’s generally friendly, he’s known to be mischievous, lecherous to women, and spread panic.

Patron City: Arcadia but he was usually worshiped in caves and grottoes since he’s the only god who comes closest to being a hippie.

Symbols: pan flute and goat

14. Thanatos

Thanatos is the personification of Death who is disliked by mortals and other gods alike. Fortunately he doesn't care much about them either. Still, depicted as a pretty boy though.

Thanatos is the personification of Death who is disliked by mortals and other gods alike. Fortunately he doesn’t care much about them either. Still, depicted as a pretty boy though.

AKA: Thanatus, Mors

Type: Minor deity.

Domain: Personification of death.

Pro: Well, he doesn’t show any favoritism among mortals and gods. His existence doesn’t make war entirely pointless which was why Ares rescued him when Sisyphos put him in chains and had to spend all eternity by rolling a rock up a steep hill every day. Also, tends to be depicted as handsome.

Con: He basically hates everyone whether mortal or god and they tend to hate him back. Mortals hate him for causing and bringing death. He hates the gods for being immortal and outside his power.

Patron City: None, since he’s a death deity.

Symbols: poppy, theta, butterfly, sword, and inverted torch

15. Charon

Charon is the Ferryman who helps transport souls to the underworld just as long as they pay him. This is why the Ancient Greeks put coins in dead people's mouths and didn't cremate them. Still, letting him give you a ride for free is a noteworthy feat.

Charon is the Ferryman who helps transport souls to the underworld just as long as they pay him. This is why the Ancient Greeks put coins in dead people’s mouths and didn’t cremate them. Still, letting him give you a ride for free is a noteworthy feat.

AKA: Charun

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Ferryman of the River Archeron (and sometimes Styx) where he helps the souls of the newly dead to cross for a small price.

Pro: Well, he’s mostly harmless and is usually shown doing his job. As Charun he has a really nice hammer and is a more active guide of the dead.

Con: Let’s just say, he’s only the Ferryman for the money and if your loved ones don’t bury your corpse or give you a coin to pay him, then he’ll just leave you stranded on the coasts for a hundred years. Also, since Archeron is the river of pain and Styx the river of death, you might not want to wade in either. Let’s just say that the Ancient Greeks weren’t fans of cremation.

Patron City: None, but Greeks who died did have coins placed in their mouths to pay him.

Symbols:a haunted rowboat and a coin

16. Iris

Iris is best known as the messenger to the gods and goddess of the rainbow. She links the gods to humanity and travels at wind speed from one end of the world to the other.

Iris is best known as the messenger to the gods and goddess of the rainbow who travels on them to deliver messages from gods to mortals. Yet, sometimes the mortals would refuse to listen.

AKA: Arcus

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Messenger to the gods as well as goddess of rainbows, sea, and sky. Links the gods to humanity and travels with the speed of wind from one end of the world to the other and into the depths of the sea and the underworld.

Pro: Well, she saved Phineus from the Harpies’ torment and assured they won’t bother him again despite not being killed. Travels by rainbow.

Con: Puts perjurers to sleep with the water from the River Styx. In a play by Euripides she and Lyssa cursed Hercules with a fit of madness that led him to kill his wife Megara and their three sons. Also said to cause storms. Other than that, she doesn’t appear much.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: rainbow, of course

17. Hecate

Hecate may be a goddess of magic as well as known for her benevolence to those who venerate her. Yet, the fact she's confined to the role of a household goddess just kind of seems a little unfair to her.

Hecate may be a goddess of magic as well as known for her benevolence to those who venerate her. Yet, the fact she’s confined to the role of a household goddess just kind of seems a little unfair to her. Yet, she’s best known for appearing in Macbeth as the witches’ boss which is set in medieval Scotland. But, hey don’t ask me why that is.

AKA: Trivia

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of magic, crossroads, moon, ghosts, and necromancy. Said to have three appearances or just three heads.Feared and and revered by night travelers and worshiped by about to deliver mothers. Associated with knowledge of herbs and poisonous plants

Pro: She was honored by Zeus and is always called upon whenever men offer rich sacrifices or pray for favors according to custom. She is very generous with those who worship and honor her and will receive great blessings and victories. Assisted Demeter in the search for Persephone and became the latter’s companion on her yearly journey to and from the underworld.

Con: Despite being a powerful goddess and well loved in her own right, she doesn’t appear much in Greek mythology.

Patron City: Lagina where she had a sanctuary attended by eunuchs but is also thought to have a following in Thrace. She was also a patroness for the Macedonian Stratonikeia. Still, she was more or less worshiped as a household goddess by the Athenians seen as a protective deity who bestowed blessings and prosperity on the family. Honored with the evening feast of the Deipnon.

Symbols: paired torches, dogs, keys, and daggers.

18. Hypnos

Hypnos is the god of sleep and is best known for escaping Zeus' lightning bolt of divine retribution after he put the chief deity to sleep while Hera harassed Hercules. Of course, he went home to Mama Nyx who Zeus really didn't want to cross.

Hypnos is the god of sleep and is best known for escaping Zeus’ lightning bolt of divine retribution after he put the chief deity to sleep while Hera harassed Hercules. Of course, he went home to Mama Nyx who Zeus really didn’t want to cross.

AKA: Somnus

Type: Minor deity

Domain: God and personification of sleep. Lives in a cave next to his brother Thanatos that doesn’t see the sun rising or the moon with no gate or door. Yet, it houses a lot of hypnotic plants and poppies with the river Lethe flowing through it.

Pro: Is probably the only god that Thanatos didn’t hate (or perhaps). Is happily married to his wife Pasithea who was one of the youngest Graces and mother of his three sons. Is in good graces with Hera for all its implications.

Con: Let’s just say he has a mischievous side and managed to avoid Zeus’ bolt of divine retribution by running off to his mother Nyx for protection. Also allowed Hera to arrest Hercules in Homer by putting Zeus to sleep.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: poppy

19. Enyo

Enyo is the goddess of war and destruction who serves as a Ares' companion in battle. She is the most destructive and bloodthirsty god of the Greek Pantheon (even more so than Ares) and tends to make war absolute hell. Definitely not a pleasant goddess.

Enyo is the goddess of war and destruction who serves as a Ares’ companion in battle. She is the most destructive and bloodthirsty god of the Greek Pantheon (even more so than Ares) and tends to make war absolute hell. Definitely not a pleasant goddess.

AKA: Bellona, Duellona

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of war and destruction as well as companion of Ares often accompanying him into battle.

Pro: Well, she refuses to take sides in war but not in a good way.

Con: She’s responsible for orchestrating the destruction of cities and inflicted terror and bloodshed in battle. Would rather see Zeus battle it out with Typhon than take sides in that conflict since she delights in warfare. Still, she’s much more destructive than Ares and the bloodiest god in the whole Greek pantheon.

Patron City: None, though she did have a festival in Thebes and Orchomenos called Homoloia. As Bellona, whenever Rome declared war on someone the Fetial priests often threw a spear into her temple.

Symbols: Lady armor, sword, and shield.

20. Eris

Eris is the goddess of discord known for basically throwing a golden apple at a wedding she wasn't invited to. This led to the Judgement of Paris and the Trojan War.

Eris is the goddess of discord known for basically throwing a golden apple at a wedding she wasn’t invited to. This led to the Judgement of Paris and the Trojan War. Still, should’ve received a wedding invitation though she would cause trouble anyway.

AKA: Discordia

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of chaos, strife. and discord. Also, a deity in the modern Discordianism.

Pro: Let’s just say no harm will come to anyone in Ancient Greece if you invite her to a wedding or party.

Con: She’s not a pleasant goddess and her kids are even worse than her. Basically could be blamed for starting the Trojan war because she wasn’t invited to the wedding of Peleus and Thetis where she basically crashed the occasion and tossed a golden apple Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite fought over. This ushered the Judgement of Paris. Then again, she wasn’t invited because she had a reputation to cause trouble out of pure malice. Also escorted Typhon into his battle with Zeus. Still, she should’ve gotten a wedding invitation. A lot of people’s lives could’ve been saved that way.

Patron City: None, of course.

Symbols: Golden Apple of Discord

21. Nike

Nike is the goddess of victory led Zeus into battle against the Titans. Yet, when you hear her name, you think of a brand of athletic shoe with the famous swoosh logo.

Nike is the goddess of victory led Zeus into battle against the Titans. Yet, when you hear her name, you think of a brand of athletic shoe with the famous swoosh logo.

AKA: Victoria

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of victory, strength, and speed, and divine charioteer to Zeus.

Pro: Since she’s the goddess of victory, she’s certainly someone you’d want on your side in anything you can’t lose. Flies around battlefields and rewards victors with glory and fame. Led Zeus into battle against the Titans.

Con: She doesn’t appear much in Greek mythology and is best remembered as having an athletic shoe brand named after her which is better remembered than she is.

Patron City: None, but she was commonly depicted on Greek coins.

Symbols: torch and laurel wreath

22. Nemesis

Nemesis is the goddess that personified revenge and divine judgement of hubris before the gods. She distributes fortune to mortals, both good or bad yet her verdict is always correct whether you like it or not. You might want to devise a will if you see her in a Greek tragedy for you will die a horrible death over something you did even if consisted of speeding.

Nemesis is the goddess that personified revenge and divine judgement of hubris before the gods. She distributes fortune to mortals, both good or bad yet her verdict is always correct whether you like it or not. You might want to devise a will if you see her in a Greek tragedy for you will die a horrible death over something you did even if consisted of speeding.

AKA: Rhamnousia, Invidia, Adrasteia

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of revenge, implacable justice, and divine judgement for hubris before the gods. Also a distributor of fortune both good and bad.

Pro: She’s a respected goddess as well as always gives everybody what they deserve as far as the Greeks are concerned since they viewed her judgements as absolutely correct. Also one of the few deities that no one dared to cross intentionally since divine judgement on hubris is itself hubris. Even Zeus would avoid messing with her.

Con: Let’s just say she has no personality outside fulfilling her duties and doesn’t care what others think about her decisions. She’s also absolutely uncaring to anyone or anything that doesn’t fall within her judgement and even then, is impassive, implacable force of nature. So if she appears in a Greek tragedy in which you’re the main character, expect to meet a really nasty demise leaving a mutilated corpse and you can do nothing about it.

Patron City: Rhamnous in northeastern Attica where she had an archaic sanctuary in her honor. Had a festival in Athens called Nemesia.

Symbols: hourglass, scales, and sword

23. Astraea

Astraea is the goddess of justice, purity, and innocence who chose to leave the earth after being disenchanted with humanity's wickedness and became the constellation Virgo. Her scales would become Libra. Still, she's said to return eventually.

Astraea is the goddess of justice, purity, and innocence who chose to leave the earth after being disenchanted with humanity’s wickedness and became the constellation Virgo. Her scales would become Libra. Still, she’s said to return eventually.

AKA: Justitia, Lady Justice, the Celestial Virgin

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Goddess of justice, innocence, and purity. One of the last immortals to live with humans during the golden age of Man.

Pro: She’s one of the nicest gods of the Greek pantheon and the closest thing to an all loving deity in Ancient Greece.

Con: Basically left Earth because she thought humanity too wicked during the Iron Age (though she may come back and usher a new Golden Age). Opted to ascend into heaven become the constellation Virgo instead while her scales became Libra.

Patron City: None

Symbols: scales

24. Triton

Though he is a merman and carries a trident, he's not Ariel's dad from The Little Mermaid. Rather he's Triton who's the messenger of the sea who also carried a conch shell he blew to control the waves.

Though he is a merman and carries a trident, he’s not Ariel’s dad from The Little Mermaid. Rather he’s Triton who’s the messenger of the sea who also carried a conch shell he blew to control the waves.

AKA: None

Type: Minor deity

Domain: Messenger of the sea and herald to his father Poseidon. Lived in his parents’ golden palace Celaeno at the bottom of the sea.

Pro: Blew into his conch shell to control the waves. Guided the Argonauts to find the passage from the river back to the sea when they got lost. Sometimes depicted as a foster parent to Athena.

Con: Doesn’t appear much in Greek mythology.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: trident and conch shell

25. Circe

Circe may not be a notable goddess of magic but she's best known for having an island mansion she surrounded with predatory beast. She's also known to turn people into animals and her encounter with Odysseus.

Circe may not be a notable goddess of magic but she’s best known for having an island mansion she surrounded with predatory beast. She’s also known to turn people into animals and her encounter with Odysseus.

AKA: None

Type: Minor deity

Domain: A goddess of magic and called “the loveliest of all immortals.”

Pro: Had a vast array of knowledge of potions, drugs, and herbs and was a very powerful sorceress with her magic wand (or staff). Also, has a great monologue on sexism and double standards on Mount Olympus in The Odyssey. Seemed like a gracious hostess to Odysseus’ men at first anyway.

Con: Transformed her enemies (as well as those who offended her) into animals. Said to be exiled to the island of Aeaea for killing her husband, the prince of Colchis. Lived in a large mansion surrounded by forests and feral predators she culled with her magic. Turned some of Odysseus’ crew into pigs that he set out to rescue them with Athena’s help. Luckily he was able to gain her trust and she helped him on his journey home.

Patron City: None.

Symbols: wand or staff

Egyptian Mythology Reexamined: The Gods

Ancient Egypt was the home of one of the oldest civilizations on earth that existed for more than half of recorded history known for building the pyramids as well as mummies. Yet, it’s mythology is ancient and complex as well as lacked central authority so many major cities and areas in the region had their own important gods. Myths often got mixed up with gods having different roles, being combined with others to form new composite gods, and different family relationships as old gods fell into obscurity and new gods rose to prominence. Like many of the prominent Egyptian historical figures such as the royal family, the Egyptian gods did screw around with their siblings. Yet, they had animal heads but they took various forms in art mostly taking on symbolic concepts. Also, it was believed that the Egyptian gods were abstract forces anyway so who knows what these people believed the looked like. So without further adieu, I’ll list the more important gods of Egyptian mythology.

1. Ra

The god of the sun and chief deity as well as one of the most important and worshiped deities in Ancient Egypt. Takes many forms and names. Benevolent, but aloof and withdrawn to his important duties.

The god of the sun and chief deity as well as one of the most important and worshiped deities in Ancient Egypt. Takes many forms and names. Benevolent, but aloof and withdrawn to his important duties.

Domain: Primary sun god as well as sometimes the creator and wind god. King of the Egyptian gods and one of the more important deities for thousands of years. Thus, it goes without saying that he’s the most widely worshiped Egyptian god. Has many other names with each part of the sun or time of day of the sun often having its own name. Also, has a lot of various forms and manifestations as well as traveled on a solar barge. Is often combined with other gods with Atum-Ra and Amun-Ra as the most famous.

Pro: He’s a benevolent deity who embodies the positive and life giving properties of the sun. Is often too busy to be involved with other god’s squabbles since he has many important duties, yet he makes an exception whenever it comes to his archenemy Apophis.

Con: Is often seen as aloof. Tried to avert a prophecy that a child of the sky goddess Nut would be evil by forbidding her to have children on any day of the year (though Thoth managed to find a loophole for her anyway). Also, as Atum-Ra may have created the universe through masturbation, just to let you know.

Symbols and Motifs: Depicted in artwork as a man with a head of a hawk, a scarab (in his form of Khepri), or a ram. Also pictured as a full bodied ram, beetle, phoenix, heron, serpent, bull, cat, or lion among others. His symbol is a sun disk. As Amun Ra, his symbols are two vertical plums and the ram headed sphinx.

City: Heliopolis as Atum-Ra and Thebes as Amun-Ra.

2. Hathor

An important goddess in Ancient Egypt, Hathor was one of the most popular and widely worshiped in Ancient Egypt. She was the goddess of love and fertility who helped protect women during childbirth. Yet, she was also a hard drinking party girl you didn't want to anger.

An important goddess in Ancient Egypt, Hathor was one of the most popular and widely worshiped in Ancient Egypt. She was the goddess of love and fertility who helped protect women during childbirth. Yet, she was also a hard drinking party girl you didn’t want to anger.

Domain: Goddess of love, music, dance, drunkedness, fertility, miners, foreign lands, motherhood, beauty, and joy. An important goddess for women and one of Egypt’s most paramount sky deities as well as one of the most significant in Ancient Egypt. Worshiped by royalty and common people alike in whose tombs she’s depicted as “Mistress of the West” welcoming the dead into the next life. In some stories she’s depicted as the wife, daughter, or mother of Ra and sometimes the wife and mother of Horus. Yet, like Ra, she has other manifestations as well. Also one of the oldest gods with predynastic origins.

Pro: She’s a benevolent fun personified goddess as well as said to help women in childbirth. Also, she was very popular among the Ancient Egyptians who had more festivals dedicated to her as well as more children named after her than any other deity in Ancient Egypt. Never suffered from depression or doubt.

Con: Don’t get me wrong but she has a bad side as well as is single minded in pursuit of her goals and has a real nasty alter ego in the form of Sekamet (depending on the version). Not to mention, she’s been linked with just about every major god in the Egyptian pantheon in different versions of the mythology. Also, she’s a hard drinking party girl.

Symbols and Motifs: Often pictured in the form of a cow or a human with cow ears. Her symbol is the sistrum.

City: Dendera.

3. Set

While he was originally depicted as a powerful badass deity, Set was later significantly demonized as a god of evil after he was worshiped as the chief god of the Hyskos. Then again, he did kill his brother and tried to rape his own nephew. Also, don't ask me what the animal his head is supposed to represent.

While he was originally depicted as a powerful badass deity, Set was later significantly demonized as a god of evil after he was worshiped as the chief god of the Hyskos. Then again, he did kill his brother and tried to rape his own nephew. Also, don’t ask me what the animal his head is supposed to represent.

Domain: God associated with chaos, storms, disorder, violence, foreigners, and the desert. Originally he was a powerful protective deity for Upper Egypt guarding Ra on his nightly trips to the underworld and was the only god who could defeat Apophis as well as resist his hypnotic gaze. He was increasingly villainized after Egypt united and Horus worship became dominant, particularly after the Hyskos invasion (a people who identified him as their chief god). Most famous for killing his brother Osiris for the Egyptian throne, and contesting his nephew Horus over it.

Pro: Before Egyptian unification, he was quite the badass in upper Egypt who was the only god capable of defeating Apophis, which was the main reason why Ra employed him on his solar boat in the first place. His favorite food was lettuce which he ate for his fertility problems (being a god of the desert could do that). Also, has ties to a trickster archetype since he’s also capable of shape shifting and he did relent when Horus got his throne back (though he was humiliated in the process). Also, had a following by the Ramaseid dynasty for a time in the New Kingdom who were great fans of his.

Con: Let’s just say that as Horus got popular, Set was increasingly demonized, especially after  Egypt was invaded by a people who worshiped him as their chief god. Killed his brother Osiris for the throne (and possibly for screwing his wife Nephthys {which was more her fault than his} or because Nephthys wasn’t as hot as Isis) and chopped him into 14 pieces and would later (rape or at least try to or perhaps had consensual sex with) his nephew Horus (who challenged him for the throne). His relationship with Nephthys is rather dependent on how people perceived him.

Symbols and Motifs: We’re not sure what animal on his head is supposed to represent which could either be completely made up or the depiction was stylized until it became unrecognizable. Yet, he’s also associated with many animals including jackals, antelopes, hippos, snakes, wild boars, asses, and crocodiles. His symbol is the was-scepter.

City: Ombos and Sepermeru.

4. Bastet

Bastet is the one and only cat goddess to the greatest cat loving civilization in history. Sure she may be a benevolent deity but she can also be quite fierce, especially since she originally appeared in Lower Egypt as an intimidating lioness goddess.

Bastet is the one and only cat goddess to the greatest cat loving civilization in history. Sure she may be a benevolent deity but she can also be quite fierce, especially since she originally appeared in Lower Egypt as an intimidating lioness goddess.

Domain: A cat goddess associated with the sun, fertility, music, dance, protection, joy, love, and lionesses. Was very popular with children and common folk because protected them and kept their fields safe from crop destroying pests (which cats do by eating rats and mice). Called “Lady of the East.”

Pro: She’s a kind hearted cat lover who uses cats to protect the fields from being invested by vermin. After all, she was very popular in Egypt since she in the pantheon of one of the great cat loving civilizations of history. I mean they even mummified cats for God’s sake. Also, kind of a badass since she was seen as the defender of the pharaoh.

Con: She was originally a savage lion goddess akin to Sekhmet in Lower Egypt and could be quite aggressive. When she became a protective deity, her role in the pantheon would diminish as Sekhmet became more prominent after unification.

Symbols and Motifs: She’s often appears as a lioness and, well, small domestic cat. Her symbols are the lion, cat, and sistrum.

City: Bubastis

5. Sekhmet

The lioness headed goddess Sekhmet is perhaps one of the fiercest goddesses in the Egyptian pantheon. You don't want to be caught in one of her violent rampages if you ask me. Still, please don't call her a cougar. Just don't.

The lioness headed goddess Sekhmet is perhaps one of the fiercest goddesses in the Egyptian pantheon. You don’t want to be caught in one of her violent rampages if you ask me. Still, please don’t call her a cougar. Just don’t.

Domain: A darker counterpart of Bastet and Hathor. A lioness goddess originating in Upper Egypt specializing in war, poisons, vengeance, medicine, menstruation, and plagues. It’s said that her breath formed the desert as well as was seen as a protector of pharaohs and led them in warfare. Sometimes seen as a daughter to Ra.

Pro: Well, she’s a badass who’s seen as the protector of pharoahs and led them in warfare. In Upper Egypt, she was also associated with healing. I mean they worshiped her and had festivals in her honor for a reason. One of her nicknames was “(One) Before Whom Evil Trembles” as well as “One Who Is Powerful.”

Con: She’s a bloodthirsty maniac who went on an almost unstoppable rampage until Ra tricked her into getting drunk with blood colored beer. Among her nicknames are, “Mistress of Dread”, “Lady of Slaughter” and “She Who Mauls.” She’s kind of like a female Ares though let’s just say Ares may be nicer than her in comparison.

Symbols and Motifs: Well, she’s often depicted as a lioness, of course. Her symbols are a sun disk, red linen, and a lioness.

City: Ijtawy, Leontopolis, and Memphis

6. Nephthys

As the more benevolent and more human looking gods, Nephthys is an embodiment of the death experience, divine assistance, and protective guardianship. She helped Isis put Osiris together as well as raise Horus. Yet, in the more popular legends, she's said to conceive Anubis with Osiris but dressing up as Isis.

As the more benevolent and more human looking gods, Nephthys is an embodiment of the death experience, divine assistance, and protective guardianship. She helped Isis put Osiris together as well as raise Horus. Yet, in the more popular legends, she’s said to conceive Anubis with Osiris but dressing up as Isis.

Domain: A funerary goddess associated with death, service, lamentation, and nighttime. Wife and sister of Set though the nature of their marriage is dependent on how the Egyptians perceived Set at the time and in some stories, the mother of Anubis (but with Set, Osiris, or Ra). As the cult of her brother Osiris took prominence, she eventually became associated with death and the afterlife despite her original nature being unknown.

Pro: In the underworld she protects and guides souls of the dead and is a rather benevolent goddess. Helped Isis raise Horus and gather pieces of Osiris after his murder. Said to represent divine assistance and protective guardianship.

Con: In some stories, she’s said to disguise herself as Isis and slept with Osiris, which was a way how Anubis was conceived. This was one of the reasons why Set wanted to kill Osiris.

Symbols and Motifs: She’s usually depicted as a young woman. Her symbols are the house and mummy wrappings.

City: Sepermeru, and Diospolis Parva.

7. Anubis

Anubis is the jackal headed god of mummification, judge of souls, and lesser god of the dead as well as the more recognizable of the Egyptian gods. Contrary to many depictions, isn't an evil guy but is certainly cool if you know what I mean. Yet, he's now a sex symbol among the furries for some reason.

Anubis is the jackal headed god of mummification, judge of souls, and lesser god of the dead as well as the more recognizable of the Egyptian gods. Contrary to many depictions, isn’t an evil guy but is certainly cool if you know what I mean. Yet, he’s now a sex symbol among the furries for some reason.

Domain: God of mummification, judge of souls, and lesser god of the dead as well as the most recognizable of Egyptian gods. Parentage is disputed and varies through source though the most famous account says he’s the son of Osiris and Nephthys through an affair (or rape by deception on her part) but raised as Set’s son. Known for weighing a dead person’s heart against the feather of Maat. Originally one of the more important gods of the dead before Osiris surpassed him. Now a modern sex symbol among the furries.

Pro: Despite being a jackal headed god of the dead, he had great compassion for humanity which led to Set abandoning him. Was also an ally of Horus against Set and helped Isis put Osiris together again.

Con: Has often been depicted as a bad guy in films like The Mummy even though he was far from it. Not to mention, despite his cool jackal head, he plays almost no role in the Egyptian myths. Oh, and if your heart is too heavy, he feeds it to Ammut, Devourer of the Dead.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted with a jackal head but is seen as a full jackal in Old Kingdom renditions. His symbols are the fetish and the flail.

City: Aysut and Cynopolis.

8. Osiris

Osiris may look badass in his picture with his blue-green skin but he is one of the big distressed dudes from Egyptian mythology who Set killed after tricking him into a coffin and throwing him in the Nile before chopping him up in several pieces across Egypt. Also, he died after being first resurrection following sex with Isis. Yet, he still got to be Lord of the Dead.

Domain: God of the afterlife, fertile vegetation of the Nile valley,  and of resurrection of rebirth. Son of the primordial gods Geb and Nut as well as husband and brother of Isis (as well as brother to Nephthys and Set) and father of Horus. Oversees the weighing of the heart and lets souls enter the afterlife if they pass the test. Very prominent example of a Life-Death-and-Rebirth god. King of Egypt after his father (or Ra) stepped down and before Set would murder and chop him into 14 pieces scattered around the Nile area. Yet, despite being resurrected, he was unable to return home and became the ruler of the land of the dead.

Pro: Considered a merciful judge of the dead in the afterlife as well as the underworld agency that granted all life, including spouting vegetation and the fertile flooding of the Nile River. Has nicknames like, “Lord of Love,” “He Who Is Permanently Benign and Youthful,” and “the Lord of Silence.” Pharaohs were often associated with Osiris in death as he would raise from the dead they would, in union with him, inherit eternal life through a process of imitative magic. Was widely worshiped as Lord of the Dead until the Christian Era and would soon eclipse Anubis and Set in popularity.

Con: He’s also one of the first examples of a distressed dude with the misfortune of unintentionally sleeping with Nephthys (in some stories) and trusting his power hungry brother Set afterwards which may have led to his murder when Set tricked him into entering in a coffin and threw him into the Nile. Oh, and when Isis found his body, Set tore it apart and scattered the pieces across Egypt. Thanks to Isis and Anubis, Osiris was reassembled and equipped with a new golden penis (his original got eaten by a fish) as well as resurrected twice, but was never allowed to rejoin the world of the living. The first time he was resurrected, he died almost immediately after having sex with Isis and impregnating her with Horus. The second time, he was shuffled off to the underworld to rule over the dead as a powerful god and venerated as one of Egypt’s chief deities, which is a pretty good deal since the Egyptian underworld is more akin to heaven than in other mythologies but still. Still, he was no badass.

Symbols and Motifs: Often depicted with blue or green skin since he’s well, dead, kind of like a zombie. His symbols are a crook and flail, the Atef crown, ostrich feathers, fish, and mummy gauze.

City: Abydos.

9. Isis

Isis is seen an ideal as the ideal wife and mother in Egyptian mythology as well as a competent queen and skilled sorceress to boot. Best known for restoring her husband-brother Osiris to life as well as securing her son Horus' claim to the throne of Egypt. Though seen as a benevolent goddess, she can be quite a bitch at times.

Isis is seen an ideal as the ideal wife and mother in Egyptian mythology as well as a competent queen and skilled sorceress to boot. Best known for restoring her husband-brother Osiris to life as well as securing her son Horus’ claim to the throne of Egypt. Though seen as a benevolent goddess, she can be quite a bitch at times.

Domain: Goddess of magic, healing, health, marriage, love, children and motherhood as well as protector of the dead. Best known for her struggles against her brother Set to rescue her husband and brother Osiris and secure the Egyptian throne for her son Horus. Seen as an important representation of the pharaoh’s power who was depicted as her child who sat on the throne she provided and artistic representations with the two of them had influence of the Madonna and Child paintings in Western iconography. Was a very popular goddess in Egypt as well as beyond.

Pro: Worshiped as the ideal mother and wife by the Egyptians and was a friend of slaves, sinners, artisans and the downtrodden. Yet, she also listened to the prayers of the wealthy, aristocrats, and rulers. Put Osiris back together and back to life (though only long enough to conceive Horus). Still, she is a skilled queen and very powerful sorceress. Also, she’s said to accept Anubis as her stepson at least in the stories in which Osiris is his father.

Con: Despite being seen as a benevolent goddess and paragon of motherly virtue, she has a dark side and was well known to be as deceptive as she is clever. She convinced Ra to tell her his secret name by poisoning him as well as tried to get him to step down so Horus could assume the throne. In one tale, when Horus informs her of Set either (raping or having consensual sex with him) and shows her his hand with Set’s semen, she berated him and cut off his hand. Doesn’t help that she shares a name with an Islamic terrorist organization. Then there’s how she managed to conceive Horus with Osiris, once the latter was, well, dead.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a woman but can sometimes have wings. Her symbols are the throne, the sun disk with cow’s horns, sparrow, cobra, vulture, and sycamore tree.

City: Abydos and Philae.

10. Horus

Horus is the falcon headed god of the sky and is associated with the Pharaohs with each of them being his earthly incarnation. He’s best known as the god who struggles against Set to avenge his father’s death and claim the throne of Egypt as his own. Still, you don’t want him to serve you a salad.

Domain: God associated with the sun, moon, sky, righteous vengeance, protection, and kingship. While he’s usually seen as the son of Osiris and Isis, in some stories, he’s their brother (though this could be a different Horus since the name could apply to half a dozen gods and in other accounts he’s depicted as Hathor’s son and possibly his wife). Nevertheless, he’s one of the oldest Egyptian deities worshiped since the Predynastic era to Greco-Roman times. He was also the first known national god in Nekhen in Upper Egypt. Still, the Egyptians considered their pharaoh to be the avatar/personification of Horus on Earth and was one of the reasons why many of Egypt’s female Pharaohs wore fake beards and dressed up as men during their rule. His eyes were thought to be the sun and the moon.

Pro: Let’s just say when his mother Isis struggled secure Horus’ claim to the Egyptian throne over Set, she didn’t have to do much other than raise him, which seems to have paid off. Horus is a genuine badass and had many battles with Set not only to avenge his father’s death but also come on top as the rightful ruler of Egypt despite being blinded and perhaps raped by Set in the process (well, he’s said to lose one eye). Said to cover his wound with a divine serpent Ureaus.

Con: However, in some versions of the myths of his struggle against Set, he may have had what may amount to “hate sex.” Also, even when Set was seen as a not so evil deity, he was still the guy’s rival and their fight was originally a constant struggle. Not only that, but Horus used his own semen on a salad and served it to Set (don’t try this at home, please). Oh, and in one myth, he’s said to have chopped off his mom’s head in a fit of rage when he found out Isis couldn’t destroy Set since he was her brother. Then there’s the fact, he may not be the only Horus in Egyptian mythology.

Symbols and Motifs: He’s mostly depicted with a head of a falcon and sometimes as one himself. In his younger representation, he’s depicted as a normal stunted kid. His symbols are the wedjat eye and the pharaoh crown itself as well as the beard.

City: Nekhen and Behdet Edfu.

11. Bes

Sure he may not look like much but Bes is one of the oldest and most popular Egyptian gods. He was known as a champion for everything good and enemy to everything evil. Still, you didn't want to mess with him.

Sure he may not look like much but Bes is one of the oldest and most popular Egyptian gods. He was known as a champion for everything good and enemy to everything evil. Still, you didn’t want to mess with him.

Domain: Protector of households and in particular children, mothers, and childbirth. Later came to be regarded as defender of everything good and enemy of all that was bad as well as symbolized the enjoyment of life. Though originally thought to be an import from Nubia, recent archaeological evidence suggests he was one of the oldest Egyptian gods even though he wouldn’t enjoy widespread popularity until the New Kingdom.

Pro: Aside from being a deity, he was also a demon fighter as well as could strangle bears, lions, and snakes with his bare hands. Could scare off evil spirits by dancing, shouting, and shaking his rattle. His image appeared on many things in Ancient Egypt, including on the thighs of musicians and dancers.

Con: One of the ugliest gods in the Egyptian pantheon. Also, had no temples and no priests ordained in his name. Oh, and he’s not depicted much in the Egyptian myths.

Symbols and Motifs: Originally depicted as a lion and later as a bearded dwarf. His symbol is an ostrich feather.

City: None.

12. Thoth

The Ibis headed Thoth is a god that wears many hats as well as credited with inventing writing and most areas of knowledge. Plays a roles in a lot of myths as a mediator between good and evil.

The Ibis headed Thoth is a god that wears many hats as well as credited with inventing writing and most areas of knowledge. Plays a roles in a lot of myths as a mediator between good and evil.

Domain: God of the moon, wisdom, knowledge, hieroglyphics, medicine, astronomy, science, magic, and writing. Played many vital and prominent roles in Egyptian mythology such as maintaining the universe and along with Maat stood on Ra’s boat. He was later heavily associated with the arbitration of godly disputes, the arts of magic, the system of writing, the development of science, and the judgment of the dead. Served as scribe to the gods, Ra’s counselor and secretary, and the mediating power between good and evil as well as made sure that neither had a decisive victory over the other. Said to be master of physical and divine law and was believed to be self-created.

Pro: He was probably a true renaissance god credited by the Egyptians as the inventor of writing and most if not all the areas of knowledge. Whenever a god was seriously injured in a fight, he would heal them. As arbitrator, he oversaw three epic battles between good and evil and was a great help to Isis after Osiris was murdered.  He also restored Horus when he was slain and in one myth was responsible for tricking Sekhmet into drinking blood-colored wine which ended her rampage. Always spoke the words that fulfilled the wishes of Ra.

Con: Usually remains neutral in many situations. Also, he was credited by the Egyptians for inventing hieroglyphics which everyone knows was a very difficult writing system.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted with the head of an ibis though sometimes appears as a baboon. His symbols are a moon disk and papyrus scroll.

City: Hermopolis.

13. Sobek

Sobek is the god of the Nile and fertility which basically makes him seem as a good Egyptian deity. However, as a god, he is violent and hedonistic who lives up to his sacred animal.

Sobek is the god of the Nile and fertility which basically makes him seem as a good Egyptian deity. However, as a god, he is violent and hedonistic who lives up to his sacred animal.

Domain: God of the Nile, water, the military, pharaonic power, and fertility. In Ancient Egypt, he was complex god who was sometime revered and sometimes reviled as well as rather ambiguous in terms of worship. Served as a protective deity against the Nile’s dangers. Was particularly popular during the Middle Kingdom.

Pro: During the Middle Kingdom, he was associated with Isis as a healer of Osiris and was said to assist her in Horus’ birth. His protective powers and strength were valued when used in the defense of Pharaoh and his people. Could protect the justified dead in the underworld as well as restore their sight and senses.

Con: He is considered a violent, hyper-sexual, and erratic deity prone to his primal whims. Among his nicknames were,  “he who loves robbery,” “he who eats while he also mates,” and “pointed of teeth.” Also, was said to be paired with a number of goddesses as well as was said to take women from their husbands whenever he felt like it.

Symbols and Motifs: His main symbol is the crocodile and is often depicted as either this or with a head of one. Crocodiles were raised and mummified in his name (yes, the Egyptians mummified those animals, too.)

City: Kom Ombo, Faiym, and the appropriately named Crocodilopolis.

14. Maat

Maat is the goddess of truth, justice, and order and it's her feather that is weighed against a person's heart to see if it goes to the afterlife. Other than that, it's all she does.

Maat is the goddess of truth, justice, and order and it’s her feather that is weighed against a person’s heart to see if it goes to the afterlife. Other than that, it’s all she does.

Domain: Personfication of truth, balance, order, law, mortality and justice. Seen as a goddess regulating the stars, seasons, and the actions of both mortals and deities, who set order of the universe from chaos at the moment of creation. She was more of an idea than a goddess yet her primary role dealt with the weighing of souls in the underworld that were considered to reside in the heart. Weighing someone’s heart against the feather determined which people got into the afterlife and who did not. Sometimes seen as the daughter of Ra as well as the wife of Thoth.

Pro: She was central to the conceptions of the Ancient Egyptian universe and was seen as a balance of divine order as well as prevents chaos from reigning supreme. It was thought everything would be lost without her.

Con: She has been represented in Egyptian mythology more as an idea than as a goddess. Also, doesn’t have much personality.

Symbols and Motifs: She’s usually represented as a young woman, sometimes with wings. Her symbol is an ostrich feather.

City: All ancient Egyptian cities.

15. Apophis

As the undisputed snake god monstrosity of evil Apophis seeks to reduce the entire universe to a void. Yet, he's literally invincible and can't really be permanently defeated so Ra has to battle him every night.

As the undisputed snake god monstrosity of evil Apophis seeks to reduce the entire universe to a void. Yet, he’s literally invincible and can’t really be permanently defeated so Ra has to battle him every night.

Domain: An embodiment of chaos and god of darkness, storms, earthquakes, and basically anything harmful. Attacked Ra and his entourage every night as they traveled through the underworld and had a hypnotic gaze he used to swallow them which caused a solar eclipse if he succeeded.

Pro: Well, he’s considered as all powerful and being from the land of the dead, he can’t be killed. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help Ra’s case.

Con: Where to begin? I mean he was considered as the Ancient Egyptian god of evil that even the other chaotic gods hate him. All the souls he devours cease to exist and used his hypnotic gaze to lure the gods before eating them which only Set could resist. His mission is to reduce the entire universe into a void and Egyptians wouldn’t dare speak his name, let alone worship him.

Symbols and Motifs: Always depicted as a giant snake.

City: None because he wasn’t worshiped at all.

16. Tawaret

Taweret is the big hippopotamus looking goddess known for protecting expectant mothers. Certainly doesn't adhere to traditional goddess beauty standards yet manages to have multiple lovers and is always seen pregnant. Guess she's doing something right.

Taweret is the big hippopotamus looking goddess known for protecting expectant mothers. Certainly doesn’t adhere to traditional goddess beauty standards yet manages to have multiple lovers and is always seen pregnant. Guess she’s doing something right.

Domain: A protective goddess of childbirth and fertility. Though not a chief god, she was a popular household deity, especially in Middle and New Kingdom Egypt. In the Old Kingdom, she was seen as the wet nurse of the Pharaoh. Said to look constantly pregnant and linked to be married to Apophis and Set (as well as romantically linked to other gods, particularly Sobek).

Pro: She’s seen as a benevolent goddess as well as a protector of women (especially if they’re pregnant). When married to Set, she tries to restrain his evil impulses to protect humanity.

Con: She was initially seen as a more aggressive and unpleasant goddess, before she was known as a protector of expectant mothers. She’s always unfaithful to her husband though nobody seemed to care. Yet, you’d wonder why how she gets around because she’s not an attractive goddess by any means.

Symbols and Motifs: Usually depicted as a bipedal hippopotamus with the paws of a lion, women’s breasts,  and the back of a Nile Crocodile. Her symbols are the sa, ivory dagger, and the hippopotamus, naturally.

City: Not applicable, she was a household deity worshiped throughout Egypt.

Norse Mythology Reexamined: The Gods

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While Greek mythology has remained one of the more influential canons with exception to those in The Bible, the Norse and Germanic tribes aren’t far behind. In fact, without their stories we wouldn’t have Wagner’s operas or Tolkein’s Middle Earth as well as a certain Marvel comics superhero. Yet, like the Greeks, their myths aren’t very consistent but many of them were written down after the turn to Christianity so there’s no set canon and beliefs differ from place to place. Still, unlike their Greek counterparts, the Norse gods are fallible and can be killed and are much more held accountable for their actions. But they still have their moments. Yet, sometimes you can’t really tell them apart from the giants, especially in the Marvel universe. I’m only going to list the most important gods here so without further adieu, here is the list of Norse gods you need to know if you’re stuck in Asgard or Yggdrasil. (I’ll only give you as much important information as I can.)

1. Odin

Allfather of the Norse gods who must do everything he can to avoid the inevitable Ragnarok apocalypse which will claim most of the pantheon. When it comes to Ragnarok to him, the ends justify the means no matter how morally ambiguous his actions are. Can also be a philandering jerk, too.

Allfather of the Norse gods who must do everything he can to avoid the inevitable Ragnarok apocalypse which will claim most of the pantheon. When it comes to Ragnarok to him, the ends justify the means no matter how morally ambiguous his actions are. Can also be a philandering jerk, too.

Domain: All-Father and King of Asgard as well as associated with wisdom, war (emphasis on strategy), the hunt, poetry, magic, frenzy, and death. Patron god of the Viking beserkers.Gathered the souls of beautiful women for the Valkyries and the souls of warriors for Valhalla (Norse Heaven). Popular among royalty and beserkers.

Pro: He is seen as a noble god and warrior whose aim is to prevent and delay Ragnarok (Norse apocalypse) as well as keep all the other gods in line. Knows whatever mistake he makes will eventually catch up to him as well as willing to face the consequences for his actions. Can also be the occasional trickster but likes people and generally helps them, well, anyone who’s nice to him anyway. Considers killing and harming women monstrous.

Con: He could be a philanderer and major league jerk at times (though not nearly as much as Zeus). He subsists on mead and wine (though doesn’t seem to suffer from the negative effects). Believes that any of his ruthless actions necessary at preventing Ragnarok are justified no matter how cruel and does plenty of terrible things to Loki. His devoted and competent followers tend to be killed in messy ways to join him at Valhalla for the upcoming Ragnarok, which is a battle he’s destined to lose and can do nothing to change that. Also, not very trustworthy.

2. Frigg

Queen of Asgard, regal and majestic yet considerably more benevolent than her husband Odin. Can't be fooled since she knows if you're lying. And she knows how to get her own way. Can see into the future but can do nothing to change it.

Queen of Asgard, regal and majestic yet considerably more benevolent than her husband Odin. Can’t be fooled since she knows if you’re lying. And she knows how to get her own way. Can see into the future but can do nothing to change it.

Domain: Queen of Asgard associated with motherhood, women, and the home.

Pro: She is regal and majestic as well as highly benevolent as well as can’t be easily fooled. She also knows how to get her own way and has much to teach her husband Odin. As far as the Norse pantheon goes, she’s one of the nicer gods as well as an attentive mother mostly.

Con: She can see into the future but can do nothing to change it. Also, doesn’t play a big role in Norse myths.

3. Baldr

Pretty boy god of light who's resistant to almost everything except mistletoe, which kills him. Best known for his death story though he may come back.

Pretty boy god of light who’s resistant to almost everything except mistletoe, which kills him. Best known for his death story though he may come back.

Domain: God of rebirth, light, love, and beauty as well as has a widely recounted death story.

Pro: Is one of the best looking gods and is invulnerable to almost anything. Not to mention, is one of the most pure and righteous of the gods that it’s scary. Doesn’t really do anything morally ambiguous.

Con: In some myths he’s not so nice (especially in the older ones when he has a rivalry with the brother who killed him) and isn’t immune to misteltoe (which could either be the plant or a sword) but doesn’t get it until after being tortured by the other gods. Best remembered for his death story than anything else as well as being the first to die though he may return to Ragnarok. Not to mention, his myths may have a Christian bias to them. His death is said to signal the end of times for the Norse gods.

4. Thor

God of Thunder and Protector of Mankind who was popular among Norse farmers and Thralls (slaves). Carries his iconic hammer Mjolnir. Would fight dangerous women and has a fiery temper. Now has his own Marvel comics franchise and an Avenger.

God of Thunder and Protector of Mankind who was popular among Norse farmers and Thralls (slaves). Carries his iconic hammer Mjolnir. Would fight dangerous women and has a fiery temper. Now has his own Marvel comics franchise and an Avenger.

Domain: God of thunder as well as order and favorite of the average Norse farmer. Also, protector of slaves as well as one of the best known Norse gods. I mean he’s a Marvel superhero and Avenger as well as Friend of Humans and Protector of Midgard (Middle Earth like in the Tolkein works).

Pro: He’s one of the more benevolent gods who’s willing to fight giants as well as demonic threats to mankind. He is widely feared by his enemies as well as surprisingly clever. Also has a badass wife he’s happily married to and his famous hammer. Seen as an honest, hardworking god who represented the common people and slaves.

Con: Well, he’s almost nowhere near the Shakespearean talking blonde you see in the movies or in the Marvel Comics. Can be a complete dick in the older myths though. Has a fiery temper you’d expect from a hot-blooded redhead like him and wouldn’t hesitate to hit a girl if he has to despite what his dad Odin may think. Also, will be fatally poisoned at Ragnarok so he’s not invulnerable.

5. Tyr

God of soldiers and justice who tackled a monster at the expense of his hand. May have been something greater once but doesn't appear much.

God of soldiers and justice who tackled a monster at the expense of his hand. May have been something greater once but doesn’t appear much.

Domain: God of war (emphasis on protection), law, soldiers, and heroic glory. Might’ve been the original head god before Odin became more popular in Scandinavia. Probably more liked in the Germanic tribes.

Pro: He’s a very brave warrior who’s not afraid to lose an arm and a leg over fighting a monster. Is the only god not afraid of a giant wolf in which binding it cost him his hand. Also, gets called upon in courts as a god of justice.

Con: Only appears in three myths and doesn’t have a high degree of specialization since almost every Norse god is a war god. Destined to be killed at Ragnarok. Also, myths about his family relations vary and was not nearly as popular as Thor or Odin.

6. Freyja

Goddess of love and fertility who's also not very pleasant and commander of the Valkyries. Also really gets around and really has an explosive temper. Cries golden tears.

Goddess of love and fertility who’s also not very pleasant and commander of the Valkyries. Also really gets around and really has an explosive temper. Cries golden tears.

Domain: Goddess of love, night magic, witches, warrioresses, and fertility yet also connected with bloodthirst and is commander of the Valkyries. Carries the souls of dead warriors in battle to Folkvang and takes the female warriors who go down with her.

Pro: She’s benevolent as well as someone you don’t want to piss off. Also, has an all girl soul army called the Valkyries. Not to mention, she knows magic and can go long ways looking for her husband Oder that she has a different name in every nation she searched for him. Not to mention, she’s part of the Vanir and originally came to Asgard as a hostage so she had to pull a few strings to get where she is. Cries tears of gold.

Con: She’s kind of really gets around (well, she’s a love and fertility goddess) despite being married. Has a really bad temper that can cause Asgard to shake during her tantrums as well as be very unpleasant. Also, most Germanic warriors would rather be with Odin in Valhalla than Folkvang (unless it’s a Viking Heaven for lady warriors even though it’s not that bad but not the same).

7. Freyr

God of fertility, sex, and fair weather who's more benevolent to his sister. Lord of the Elves who gave his magic weapon for love but his sacrifice comes back to bite him in Ragnarok.

God of fertility, sex, and fair weather who’s more benevolent to his sister. Lord of the Elves who gave his magic weapon for love but his sacrifice comes back to bite him in Ragnarok.

Domain: God of fertility, prosperity, sunshine and fair weather, kingship, and sex. Lord of the elf realm Alfheim

Pro: Generally seen as more benevolent than his sister Freyja and originally came to Asgard as a Vanir hostage but also somehow to get to be head of the Elves. Gives up his magic sword to win a giantess Gerd’s heart.

Con: He’s kind of gets around (since he’s a sex god). Oh, and he kills Gerd’s brother and sends a servant to threaten her family until she marries him. And despite being elf lord, his subjects can be quite unpleasant (but are very much like Tolkein’s). Also, giving up his magic sword costs his life at Ragnarok.

8. Loki

God of mischief is the closest definition. His enigmatic nature and alignment are unknown. Yet, treat him and his kids like crap long enough and he'll become the instigator of Ragnarok as soon as he gets out of prison.

God of mischief is the closest definition. His enigmatic nature and alignment are unknown. Yet, treat him and his kids like crap long enough and he’ll become the instigator of Ragnarok as soon as he gets out of prison. Also, has a diverse sexual appetite if you know what I mean.

Domain: God of mischief and possibly fire. The trickster and technically a god since he’s Odin’s blood brother. Most scholars aren’t really sure about his role and only appears in Scandinavia myths in which nobody is sure how he got there and almost has no common parallel in other Indo-European pantheons. His true nature is unknown, which is appropriate.

Pro: He keeps his word whether for good or for ill and goes on even when the likes of Odin have given up. Is good to his kids (like Odin and Thor are mostly) and sometimes can use his talents for trickery and deceit to benefit the gods though he isn’t praised for it.

Con: Where to begin? Has a tendency to cause a lot of trouble with his deceit and trickery (though usually forced by the other gods to fix) as well as humps anything that moves (whether it be man, woman, or horse). Also, tends to receive a lot of crap from the gods which results in him turning against them as well as his cave imprisonment as well as set the events of Ragnarok in motion when he breaks free (but he won’t survive it). In his antics he could range from trickster to outright troll and he does have his fiery redhead moments. Still, he’s pretty much an enigma and capable of doing anything but is usually unrepentant of his heinous deeds (like putting the blind Hoor to accidentally kill Baldr). As for his kids, some of them are literally monsters who also get a lot of crap from the other gods.

9. Angrbooa

Powerful sorceress, fierce fighter, and mother of monsters.

Powerful sorceress, fierce fighter, and mother of monsters.

Domain: Loki’s giantess consort.

Pro: She’s a competent fighter and has super strength. She’s also highly resistant to fire. May have been a very powerful witch who could see into the future.

Con: She may or may not know whether her monstrous kids will help their daddy end the world. Also, may have been consumed in flames or demoted as Loki’s mistress. Either way having kids turning out to be monsters didn’t do much good for her.

10. Hel

Goddess of death and ruler of Hel where she receives souls of those who don't die on the battlefield. Cold, dour, stoic, and a bit of a necrophile. Not a malicious type but an outcast not well perceived by gods and mortals alike.

Goddess of death and ruler of Hel where she receives souls of those who don’t die on the battlefield. Cold, dour, stoic, and a bit of a necrophile. Not a malicious type but an outcast not well perceived by gods and mortals alike.

Domain: Goddess of death and graves as well as ruler of Hel who welcomes souls who’ve died in old age, disease, or in accidents (a dark and shady place but a peaceful one, well, most of it anyway unless you’re a Norse warrior. Actual Viking Hell is Na-strond which monstrous fortress of torture with poison dripping serpent skeletons, sucking blood, and goat’s urine).

Pro: Usually keeps her word when she gives it but isn’t really a malevolent being per se. Only interferes with other Asgardians’ plans only when it concerned her directly.

Con: She’s stoic, dour, and cold as well as not well liked by both gods and mortals. She was said to use her broom and rake when plague would hit and is kind of a necrophile (though she wouldn’t really bang a corpse).

11. Sigyn

Loki's loving and devoted wife who tries to keep the poison from his eyes during his captivity and is rarely far behind him. Too bad Loki doesn't deserve her.

Loki’s loving and devoted wife who tries to keep the poison from his eyes during his captivity and is rarely far behind him. Too bad Loki doesn’t deserve her.

Domain: Loki’s Asgardian wife who assists him during his captivity holding a dish over his face to collect the venom and only leaving his side to empty it.

Pro: She’s devoted to Loki and never leaves his side despite the crap he gives her. Still, she’s not blind to his flaws either.

Con: Can come off as a doormat when Loki is depicted as a domestic abuser who may not go out of his way to be kind for her or even care about her loyalty either. Her sons don’t have nice fates either.

12. Vioarr

Quiet god of vengeance who can take down monsters  without injury in the process. Will survive Ragnarok.

Quiet god of vengeance who can take down monsters without injury in the process. Will survive Ragnarok.

Domain: God of Vengence, silence, space, and footwear, and associated with Vali.

Pro: Can fight and slay great monsters without breaking an arm in the process and even using a leather boot. Survives Ragnarock and avenges his father Odin’s death. Is often very quiet which may be due to his scheming.

Con: He and his half-brother Vali were mainly conceived for avenging their half-brother Baldr’s death. Also, doesn’t really keep himself clean until Baldr’s killer is dead. Too bad the culprit was Hoor who is blind and really didn’t mean it.

13. Vali

Conceived and born to avenge one half-brother's death and kills another as well as helps capture Loki. Went from infancy and adulthood in a single day. Will survive Ragnarok.

Conceived and born to avenge one half-brother’s death and kills another as well as helps capture Loki. Went from infancy and adulthood in a single day. Will survive Ragnarok.

Domain: Associated with Vioarr. God of Revenge.

Pro: Managed to kill someone despite being one day old as well as helped capture Loki. Also a great marksman. Destined to survive Ragnarok.

Con: He and his half-brother Vioarr were mainly conceived to avenge Baldr’s death and neither keep themselves clean until then. Also, has a very brief childhood in the course of a day and kills the blind Hoor who didn’t really mean to it. Not to mention, there’s really not much about him.

14. Skaoi

Goddess of winter who could be as cold as ice. Enters Asgard seeking vengeance on her father's death and really lets Loki have it when he's captured.

Goddess of winter who could be as cold as ice. Enters Asgard seeking vengeance on her father’s death and really lets Loki have it when he’s captured.

Domain: Goddess of hunting, winter, mountains and skiing. She’s a frost giant as well as goddess through her marriage to Freyr and Freyja’s dad Njoror she chose herself and Scandinavia may have been named after her so she has some importance to Vikings.

Pro: She is certainly not someone to mess with and though she originally goes to Asgard to avenge her dad’s death, the gods seem to treat her surprisingly well that she was allowed to choose a husband (considering her dad kidnapped Iounn).

Con: Once used a dead snake on Loki that dripped poison in his eyes in retaliation for him killing Baldr. Also, it’s very much a challenge to make her laugh.

15. Heimdall

Watchman of Asgard who hears all, sees all, and doesn't need to sleep. Also has nine mothers.

Watchman of Asgard who hears all, sees all, and doesn’t need to sleep. Also has nine mothers.

Domain: Watchman of the Aesir guarding the Bifrost Bridge against any threat as well as represents the benefits of fire and sired the humans and passed runes to them.

Pro: Can see and hear everything that happens in the world and never needs to sleep. Also, doesn’t talk much and almost never leaves his post (save once or twice).

Con: Has an ongoing rivalry with Loki and convinced Thor to dress in drag at one point. Might’ve had nine mothers (this is Norse mythology don’t ask me). Also, destined to die at Ragnarok.

16. Iounn

Keeper of the golden apples who may not play a major role but helps keep the gods from dying of natural causes. Her absence will spell trouble.

Keeper of the golden apples who may not play a major role but helps keep the gods from dying of natural causes. Her absence will spell trouble.

Domain: Goddess of agriculture and youth as well as keeper of the golden apples.

Pro: Though she doesn’t have much presence, she has a very important job since the golden apples preserve the gods’ youth and immortality. When she’s kidnapped, they progressively age, which are reversed when she comes back.

Con: Doesn’t appear much in myths unless she’s kidnapped or absent from Asgard. Also, will be no help at Ragnarok.

Greek Mythology Reexamined: The Gods

Whether we like it or not, Greek mythology has always been part of our culture and these we’re constantly drawn to it for various reasons since it usually consists of one epic soap opera with monsters, fighting, and characters who suffer terrible fates for lacking common sense. Like many ancient cultures, Ancient Greece had a pantheon of gods who were just as human as themselves as well as deities you shouldn’t piss off. This did not mean that they also caused their share of trouble and piss off each other off (resulting in a very dysfunctional family like most pantheons). However, we must be aware that not all Greek mythologies are consistent here and sometimes modern culture has a habit of depicting them differently than they were originally presented. Still, there are plenty of Greek gods so I’m only going to name the most important of these deities who appear in most of the myths. And I’m not going to cover the previous generations either since that gets too complicated. So without further adieu, if you’re stuck in a Greek mythological world, here’s a short cheat sheet on what to expect from them.

1. Zeus

Apparently, being the King of Mount Olympus means being as much of an asshole as you want. Or maybe he's the boss because he knows how to keep a bunch of assholes in line. Either way, he's a major jerk who humps anything that moves without without considering his wife's feelings, treats his kids however he feels like it, and can screw mortals in anyway he sees fit. Yeah, major jackass.

Apparently, being the King of Mount Olympus means being as much of an asshole as you want. Or maybe he’s the boss because he knows how to keep a bunch of assholes in line. Either way, he’s a major jerk who humps anything that moves without without considering his wife’s feelings, treats his kids however he feels like it, and can screw mortals in anyway he sees fit. Yeah, major jackass.

AKA: Jupiter, Jove

Domain: King and Patriarch of the Gods on Mount Olympus and is associated with sky, thunder, leadership, law, oaths, rain, and hospitality then a very sacred thing in the ancient world.

Pro: He’s considered as perhaps the toughest and most powerful god in the bunch (and became king of the gods by triumphing over his dad Chronos and putting the end of the Titan’s rule) as well as someone even the other gods don’t want to piss off (considering the Greek mythos, this is an asset since someone needs to keep this bunch in line). Also, he hates liars, oath breakers, and the unjust and won’t hesitate to punish the truly vile. But he does tend to show up and help others on a good day. Still, despite his character flaws, he’s usually a guy you’d want on your side but usually tries to remain neutral.

Con: He’s been very prone to cause a lot of trouble in mythos because he can’t keep it in his pants and will go for anyone that moves in any form and whether they want it or not. As a parent, he doesn’t really treat all his kids equally and wouldn’t hesitate offing some of them either (and let me say, he has a shitload of kids divine and mortal). Also, has major hypocrisy issues despite being a god of justice, especially in his personal life as well as performed other highly questionable actions. Not to mention, will do everything he could to stay in power (for good reasons). Yet, he also could be unpredictable and the weather depended on his temper. Out of all the Greek gods, he’s probably the biggest asshole.

Patron City: Olympia where the big Statue of Zeus once stood and place of the Ancient Greek Olympic Games which was an event held on behalf of this guy.

Symbols: thunderbolt, eagle, bull, scepter, throne, and oak

2. Hera

Of course, she may be Queen of Mount Olympus but she has major issues with taking out most of her anger over Zeus infidelity on his sexual conquests and illegitimate kids. Of course, she does this since she can't really wring her wrath on Zeus but maybe she should. Still, she's not as much of a bitch as she seems and she and Zeus kind of deserve each other.

Of course, she may be Queen of Mount Olympus but she has major issues with taking out most of her anger over Zeus infidelity on his sexual conquests and illegitimate kids. Of course, she does this since she can’t really wring her wrath on Zeus but maybe she should. Still, she’s not as much of a bitch as she seems and she and Zeus kind of deserve each other.

AKA: Juno

Domain: Queen and Matriarch of the gods on Mount Olympus and is associated with marriage, women, and birth. Zeus’ wife and older sister (though incest is common in ancient pantheons).

Pro: Has Zeus’ weather powers and can also be formidable in a fight even with other gods. Can be a benevolent and fair queen who protects mothers and wives and is very nice toward faithful husbands. Also, it’s not easy having Zeus as a husband though the two seem to genuinely love each other.

Con: Like her husband, she’s extremely volatile and similar in his temperament though she sticks with a guy who constantly cheats on her. Has a tendency to be perpetually ticked off at anyone who wronged her, insulted her, had sex with Zeus, or being any of his love children. Still, though she may have an unjust tendency to unleash her wrath against Zeus’ conquests and love children, this is her only way of getting even since she can’t do anything to her husband besides yell at him. Other offending husbands aren’t so lucky. And while she’s a stepmother from hell (especially to her namesake Heracles {Hercules}), she’s not much better parent to her own children either.

Patron City: Argos but she had a temple in Olympia with a cult figure said to predate Zeus (it was the earliest there) and she was big in Mycenae.

Symbols: pomegranate, peacock, feather, diadem, cow, and lily

3. Poseidon

The old man of the sea who has a nasty temper and could cause all kinds of natural disasters when in a bad mood. On a positive note, he has a cool trident.

The old man of the sea who has a nasty temper and could cause all kinds of natural disasters when in a bad mood. On a positive note, he has a cool trident and likes horses.

AKA: Neptune

Domain: God of the ocean, rivers, floods, droughts, earthquakes, and horses. However, he does not have a fish tail since he wasn’t born the God of the sea but won his rule when he and his brothers drew lots amongst themselves.

Pro: He’s one of the toughest gods and let’s just say you don’t want to mess with any of his kids even if there was a good reason for it. Someone you might want to have on his good side.

Con: While not in his brother Zeus’ league, he does have his share of conquests as well as a shitload of kids (and shares a similar sexual appetite and conduct, though his wife didn’t seem to care since she didn’t want to marry him in the first place). And sometimes his philandering leads to the same problems (like some stories relating to his involvement with Medusa). He can also be very volatile causing storms, shipwrecks, earthquakes, chaotic springs, and drownings with his trident. Definitely not one to mess with.

Patron City: Corinth and most seafaring cities in Ancient Greece and Southern Italian colonies. Yet, he also has great importance in Athens since they had the best navy and Delphi. He may also be one of the oldest Greek gods with roots in the Bronze Age as a chief deity.

Symbols: trident, fish, dolphin, horse, and bull

4. Hades

Despite the image, he's actually one of the least malicious gods you'll ever meet. He's more or less a polite guy doing his job which happens to be on par with running the garbage dump that everybody hates. Oh, yeah, and he's usually makes good on his promises and can't be easily bribed.

Despite the image, he’s actually one of the least malicious gods you’ll ever meet (who is actually devoted and faithful to his wife even if he did kidnap her). He’s more or less a polite guy doing his job which happens to be on par with running the garbage dump that everybody hates. Oh, yeah, and he’s usually makes good on his promises and can’t be easily bribed.

AKA: Pluto, Dis, Clymenus, Polydegmon, Eubuleus, Orcus. Even his own name is a euphemism. Yet, many Ancient Greeks tried to avoid saying his name.

Domain: God of the Underworld reigning over the dead, wealth, and the underground in general. Is not a grim-reaper type figure.

Pro: Despite modern connotations, he isn’t a bad guy and is one of the nicest Greek gods around. He honors his deals and doesn’t screw around in mortal affairs. And he only lashes out when someone has really done him wrong or tries to cheat death (but he does make exceptions and can be rather helpful). Also, despite kidnapping and marrying his niece Persephone, he’s actually a loving, devoted, and faithful husband who actually consulted Zeus before he did the deed. Also, he’s used by the Ancient Greeks as to how terrifying something is and is stinking rich. And he has a cool helmet of invisibility.

Con: Well, he kidnapped Persephone and made her his wife under ambiguous consent (in Ancient Greece kidnapping in marriage was the norm). He’s also a very busy guy with the most subjects to govern in a job that’s rather unpopular but very important resulting in him having the biggest workload among the Greek gods. Also, though he does have a heart, you probably wouldn’t know it since he has the emotional range of a statue and doesn’t have the best personality. Not to mention, his association with death didn’t make him popular in Ancient Greece since they were terrified of it and him, especially since he’s impossible to sweet-talk out of doing something.

Patron City: None, since the Ancient Greeks were terrified of and loathed him due to his association with death and his temples are dedicated anonymously. And let’s just say their attitude of him was rather complex.

Symbols: Cerberus, drinking horn, scepter, cypress, narcissus, and key

5. Hestia

Sweet, mild mannered, personable goddess of the hearth. Also, minds her own business. But kind of boring and forgettable.

Sweet, mild mannered, personable goddess of the hearth. Also, minds her own business. But kind of boring and forgettable.

AKA: Vesta

Domain: Goddess of home, house, and family.

Pro: She’s one of the most moral out of all the Greek gods and usually stays out of her relatives’ antics. She’s also one of the more important deities in the pantheon and one Ancient Greeks would pray most to for their daily troubles as well as had a role in all their religious ceremonies. Has a modest and discreet nature.

Con: She doesn’t appear in most of the mythos despite her importance and is one of the more boring Greek Gods. Also, her discreet and modest nature makes many people forget of her existence in the Pantheon.

Patron City: None, but she was one of the first to have sacrificial offerings and among the most worshiped by Ancient Greeks and was seen as very significant to the center of community and home.

Symbols: hearth and its fire

6. Demeter

She may be the goddess of the harvest but almost destroyed humanity when Hades kidnapped her daughter Persephone. Luckily she gets to see her half the year. Still. starving the world over her daughter may be a bit extreme but understandable.

She may be the goddess of the harvest but almost destroyed humanity when Hades kidnapped her daughter Persephone. Luckily she gets to see her half the year. Still. starving the world over her daughter may be a bit extreme but understandable.

AKA: Ceres

Domain: Goddess of grain, fertility, sacred law, and cycle of life and death.

Pro: Really seems to love her daughter, Persephone that she almost destroyed humanity when she went missing though whether she did it intentionally or out of grief depends on the version. Yet, she’s usually nice unless provoked and once raised a mortal baby. She’s also well liked and widely worshiped by the Ancient Greeks since she was the goddess of agriculture.

Con: She nearly lost it when Hades kidnapped her daughter and doesn’t really seem to take it too kindly to him despite that Persephone gets a good arrangement out of seeing her mom for half a year. Also, she has her share fooling around with mortal and divine men and eight other children who rarely get mentioned (she’s a mother goddess after all).

Patron City: Eleusis since they were the center of the Eleusian Mysteries which pre-dated the Olympian Pantheon, but she had plenty of temples dedicated to her and may be one of the oldest Greek Gods with Bronze Age roots. In fact, she may have had a cult established in 1500 B.C.E. Her major festival is Thesmorphiora which was participated by women only.

Symbols: poppy

7. Aphrodite

Sure she may be the goddess of love and beauty but that doesn't mean she'd make the perfect girlfriend since she's just as much of a bitch as her fellow gods. She sleeps with everyone but her husband, is very fickle, isn't great to her kids, and you don't want to see her when she's angry. Also, is very much a diva and doesn't like other girls deemed prettier than her.

Sure she may be the goddess of love and beauty but that doesn’t mean she’d make the perfect girlfriend since she’s just as much of a bitch as her fellow gods. She sleeps with everyone but her husband, is very fickle, isn’t great to her kids, and you don’t want to see her when she’s angry. Also, is very much a diva and doesn’t like other girls deemed prettier than her.

AKA: Venus

Domain: Goddess of love, beauty, and sexuality as well as associated with looking after children. Well, at least when it comes to sex anyway.

Pro: She doesn’t get angry very often but just don’t piss her off. Not to mention, she’s very much in touch with her sexuality and nobody sees anything wrong with it.

Con: She may be the goddess of love, but has a tendency to stir trouble. For one, she has many lovers and several kids and is really not a great mother herself. Not to mention, she’s married to Hephaestus and he doesn’t get any action from her. Also, she’s very vain and gets pissed off at women deemed prettier even if it’s someone her son Eros wants to be with (Psyche).

Patron City: Cyprus, which was where she started as their chief deity.

Symbols: dolphin, rose, scallop shell, myrtle, dove, sparrow, girdle, mirror, and swan

8. Athena

As far as Greek goddesses go, she's probably the closest thing to being a role model for young girls, by today's standards. She's smart, fierce, and is fairly decent to those who follow the rules though she's not perfect. She's also known to assist heroes and kick other gods' asses. Get on her bad side and she'll give you no mercy.

As far as Greek goddesses go, she’s probably the closest thing to being a role model for young girls, by today’s standards. She’s smart, fierce, and is fairly decent to those who follow the rules though she’s not perfect. She’s also known to assist heroes and kick other gods’ asses. Get on her bad side and she’ll give you no mercy.

AKA: Minerva

Domain: Goddess of wisdom, strategy, industry, defensive war, justice, inspiration, civilization, mathematics, arts, crafts, intelligence and skill.

Pro: She’s one of the smartest and most powerful Greek Gods as well as very tough in her own right (she has taken many gods in a fight). But she’d rather not fight without reasonable cause (but is willing to own up to her mistakes). Yet, despite this she’s very loyal and is willing to help people as long as they were following the rules. She’s also kind to kids as well as raised a few herself and sometimes helps resolve trouble. Though passionate about justice, she’s pretty level headed most of the time.

Con: She doesn’t like being disrespected and can get quite angry and vindictive to those slighting her. Also, doesn’t like people thinking they’re better than her either. And she shows no mercy to people who break the rules.

Patron City: Athens though she may be one of the earliest Greek gods with varied origin stories. Also, the Parthenon is her temple.

Symbol: owl, olive tree, snake, Aegis, armor, helmet, spear, Gorgoneion

9. Apollo

He may be a good looking and popular cool guy who gets all the guys and girls. Yet he also wouldn't hesitate to pull dirty tricks on people if he didn't get his way. He may be a god of light but he's very much a big bully.

He may be a good looking and popular cool guy who gets all the guys and girls. Yet he also wouldn’t hesitate to pull dirty tricks on people if he didn’t get his way. He may be a god of light but he’s very much a big bully.

AKA: He has no other names in Classical mythology and even the Romans referred to him the same way.

Domain: God of light, sun, truth and prophecy, medicine, disease and darkness, music, poetry, archery, knowledge, purity, athleticism, manly beauty, rhetoric, enlightenment, and more. I mean, he has a lot of things associated with him.

Pro: He is very smart, powerful and can be very handy to have on your side. Not to mention, he’s the god of a lot of things and you don’t want to hurt any of his kids either or his mother and sister. Also, he’s one of the more popular Greek gods.

Con: He has a very bad side despite being a very good-looking god. For one, he has a string of lovers and many kids and not all his sexual encounters have been consensual. Not to mention, he’s a guy who always likes to have his way or else, he’d do something very terrible to either mortals or gods like spreading disease, setting them up for murder either way he’d leave them to fate after he’s done with them. And in many ways, he’s one of the biggest jerks on Mount Olympus. Doesn’t have best relationship with sister.

Patron City: Delphi and Delos where the oracles usually resided while he may have had Anatolian, Minoan, or Dorian origins though he’s one of the last to be included. Still, he’s one of the more popular ones though and the Pythian Games were held in his honor.

Symbols: lyre, laurel wreath, python, raven, bow and arrows, and others I can’t list.

10. Artemis

She may be a goddess of the hunt in the woods with her virgin entourage but she has a vicious streak about a mile wide and does not like men at all.

She may be a goddess of the hunt in the woods with her virgin entourage but she has a vicious streak about a mile wide and does not like men at all.

AKA: Diana

Domain: Goddess of young women, virginity, childbirth, the hunt, wild animals, women’s ailments, forests and hills, disease and sudden death, and the moon.

Pro: Is a very good archer as well as hunting and is a friend of nature as well as women in general. Also, as a goddess, she’s known to assist women in childbirth. Can be nice to tree huggers and kids as well. Not to mention, is more concerned with doing her own thing with her female attendants than anything else.

Con: She has a vicious streak about a mile wide and has a string of victims. There’s a lot of things that can piss her off such as boasting about being prettier or being a better hunter than her, being romantically pursued (save maybe one time it didn’t go well or having her attendants fool around), and others. Not to mention, she does not like men and can inflict disease.

Patron City: None, but there was a famous temple of her at Ephesus yet she didn’t want to be a city patron anyway. Also, she may have been one of the earliest Greek gods and might have had Neolithic origins.

Symbols: bow and arrows, stag, hunting dog, bear, deer, and the moon

11. Ares

He may be an imposing and manly god of war but he doesn't have many friends on Mount Olympus and loves going on bloodthirsty killing sprees just for the heck of it all. But if he gets hurt, he'll whine and run to daddy. Also, he's kind of worthless against most non-mortal enemies.

He may be an imposing and manly god of war but he doesn’t have many friends on Mount Olympus and loves going on bloodthirsty killing sprees just for the heck of it all. But if he gets hurt, he’ll whine and run to daddy. Also, he’s kind of worthless against most non-mortal enemies.

AKA: Mars

Domain: God of war, bloodshed, and violence. Some may say he’s the god of unhinged masculinity.

Pro: He’s depicted as a good dad who always supported his kids and tried to protect them unlike many of his fellow gods (and he has a lot of kids). He also loved his mother Hera (though she didn’t love him). He’s also a force to be reckoned with and the embodiment of physical valor in war.

Con: He’s one of the most despised gods in Greek mythology and most of the ancient Greeks didn’t have a high opinion of him either. Heck, even his own parents and other gods hate him. Also, usually goes on bloodthirsty killing sprees on default and has a huge ego but he loses against almost every non-mortal enemy he’s faced. Not to mention, he’s a shameful coward who’d run back and complain to Zeus whenever he was seriously injured. And he’s had a long string of lovers and isn’t always nice to them. He may be a war god, but his effectiveness is constantly in doubt.

Patron City: Sparta since they seem to have a much higher opinion of him than the other Greek city-states, yet he’s also associated with founding Thebes and places like Thrace, Macedonia, and Mani. Also, the Romans really like him as well as viewed him as the founder of their people.

Symbols: spear, helmet, dog, chariot, and boar

12. Hephaestus

He may not be the best looking or most popular god on Olympus, but the pantheon couldn't do without him. Still, no matter how much crap he gets, at least he doesn't take his angst out on mortals.

He may not be the best looking or most popular god on Olympus, but the pantheon couldn’t do without him. Still, no matter how much crap he gets, at least he doesn’t take his angst out on mortals.

AKA: Vulcan (but has nothing to do with Star Trek) however, it’s his nearest Roman equivalent though.

Domain: God of fire, blacksmiths, craftsmen, stone masonry, sculptors, metallurgy, and volcanoes.

Pro: Though crippled and ugly, is probably one of the handy gods who helps fashion things for his fellow Olympians and is associated with technology. He can even make his inanimate creations come to life. He’s also one of the nicer and humbler gods as well as peace loving who never takes his anger out on mortals. Not to mention, there’s a reason why his dad Zeus chose him to marry Aphrodite.

Con: Though he’s married to the constantly unfaithful Aphrodite, he does get around and sire children with others even though he does not take her infidelity well (though theirs is a sexless marriage). Not to mention, he has a tendency to be under appreciated by his fellow deities. Also, did a really sick trick on his mother, Hera even though that might not have been completely undeserved.

Patron City: Lemnos, though he had a considerable following and might have been of Pre-Greek origin, especially in manufacturing and industrial centers of Ancient Greece.

Symbols: hammer, anvil, tongs, and quail

13. Hermes

He deceives, cheats, steals, and whatnot but usually gets away with it, but compared to the others, he's one of the nicest Greek gods you'll meet. If he doesn't like you, then there's a good reason for it and you best watch your back.

He deceives, cheats, steals, and whatnot but usually gets away with it, but compared to the others, he’s one of the nicest Greek gods you’ll meet. If he doesn’t like you, then there’s a good reason for it and you best watch your back.

AKA: Mercury, well, closest Roman equivalent anyway

Domain: Messenger to the Gods and guide to the Underworld as well as associated with commerce, travelers, thieves, sports, athletes, shepherds, cowherds, wit, written language, literature, cunning, boundaries, communication, animal husbandry, and luck.

Pro: Compared to the rest of the gods besides Ares, he’s a model parent and one of the nicest gods who doesn’t judge people based on appearances. He was also nice to other people’s children as well as acted as foster parent to a few (also has a bunch of kids). Not to mention, he’s able to stop Zeus from destroying humanity. Is basically a good friend to anyone who’s nice to him and if he doesn’t like someone, there’s usually a good reason for it.

Con: He’s kind of mischievous but loveable rogue who deceives, cheats, steals, and whatnot as well as usually gets away with it. Like a lot of the Olympians, he also gets around with a string of lovers as well.

Patron City: None, but his oldest temple was in Arcadia and he had a very popular following in which the festival Hermaea consisted of sporting events for only young boys.

Symbols: Caduceus, Talaria, tortoise, lyre, rooster, and snake

14. Dionysus

The closest thing Ancient Greece had to a frat boy god. He's a hedonist party animal with unpredictable moods and bouts with insanity. Can be great fun or an insane sadist like many frat boys. So eat, drink, and be merry, or he'll kill you.

The closest thing Ancient Greece had to a frat boy god. He’s a hedonist party animal with unpredictable moods and bouts with insanity. Can be great fun or an insane sadist like many frat boys. So eat, drink, and be merry, or he’ll kill you.

AKA: Bacchus but also identified with Liber

Domain: God of wine, parties and festivals, drunkenness, drugs, ecstasy, theater, grape harvest, and agriculture. In some ways, he may be interpreted as the god of Greek life as far as modern college campuses are concerned.

Pro: Genuinely loves his wife, Ariadne in some versions despite not being completely faithful to her (well, what do you expect from a god of hedonism?) and cares about his mother to go to the Underworld for her. Is pretty much fun personified and has survived plenty of nasty shit since he was a baby.

Con: He does have a tendency to punish those who piss him off and does have his share of conquests (basically anything that moves but wife doesn’t seem to mind). Also, in some myths, he’s seen as an insane sadist and party animal as well as prone to violent mood swings. Not to mention, doesn’t take kindly to those who object to his debauch and hedonistic ways.

Patron City: None, but though considered a late arrival in the Olympian pantheon, he actually may have been worshiped as early as 1500 B.C.E. but his cult had been much marginalized for a long time. But he was highly popular for very explainable reasons.

Symbols: Thyrsus, grapevine, leopard skin, panther, tiger, and leopard

15. Persephone

She may be the goddess of spring but she's also Queen of the Underworld and is sometimes more feared than her husband, Hades. Still, whether Stockholm Syndrome or not, she must've felt something positive for Hades to be kind of possessive of him.

She may be the goddess of spring but she’s also Queen of the Underworld and is sometimes more feared than her husband, Hades. Still, Stockholm Syndrome or not, she must’ve felt something positive for Hades to be kind of possessive of him. Then again, she and Hades seem to have had a happy marriage by Ancient Greek standards.

AKA: Proserpina

Domain: Queen of the Underworld and associated with vegetation, spring, rejuvenation, and youth

Pro: Though stoic, she can be moved to tears if someone wants to either die in their spouse’s place or bring his or her spouse back. And whether or not she was really abducted by today’s standards, she seems to have loved Hades though missed her mother around the same time.

Con: She may love Hades but she’s not so much faithful to him (she and Aphrodite fought over Adonis). Not to mention, sometimes she’s even feared more by mortals than her own husband and is almost as stoic as he is. And if anyone dare try to seduce Hades, she would show no mercy.

Patron City: She was worshiped in Ancient Greece in ceremonies involving her mother like the Eleusian Mysteries that predated the Olympian pantheon and may have had Bronze Age or Near Eastern roots making her one of the oldest Greek gods. Still, she had more worshipers than Ares.

Symbols: white poplar and mint leaf