The Creepy, Crawly World of Scary Halloween Craft Projects (Second Edition)

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Of course, Halloween is a very popular holiday which people really get into. You can see this by how so many stores sell Halloween decorations around this time in October. But there are so many who like to make their own as I’ve seen on Pinterest. Last year, I did a post on Halloween crafts which people have done. And I got so many photos from Pinterest that I couldn’t possibly have used them all. I mean there are so many ideas people do for a holiday that’s only surpassed by Christmas in terms of popularity. Well, even that’s kind of contested. Nevertheless, if you plan to throw a spooky Halloween party or just like to scare people on your lawn, then you’re in luck. Because I plan to show you more craft ideas that you might want to see. So feel free to look if you dare.

  1. Ever get the feeling you’re being watched?
Relax, someone probably darkened the portrait and put it into a blackened old style frame. It's kind of suited for a haunted house.

Relax, someone probably darkened the portrait and put it into a blackened old style frame. It’s kind of suited for a haunted house.

2. Did that cauldron just get legs?

Guess it must be under a spell. Or someone's DIY Halloween decoration. The latter is more likely. Either way, it's brilliant.

Guess it must be under a spell. Or someone’s DIY Halloween decoration. The latter is more likely. Either way, it’s brilliant.

3. Grace your front door this Halloween with a raven grapevine wreath like this.

Or crow wreath if you want to get specific. Still, best if the wreath and the birds match in color.

Or crow wreath if you want to get specific. Still, best if the wreath and the birds match in color.

4. Use this mummy doll on your door of you don’t want any disturbance.

Well, that's more cute than scary. Still, if it's a mummy, then why does it have a tie on? And does this make the mummy a daddy?

Well, that’s more cute than scary. Still, if it’s a mummy, then why does it have a tie on? And does this make the mummy a daddy?

5. No Halloween dish table is complete if it’s not made from bones.

Actually, it's made from paper mache. But it almost looks real doesn't it? Might want to discuss this with the neighbors.

Actually, it’s made from paper mache. But it almost looks real doesn’t it? Might want to discuss this with the neighbors.

6. All guests are welcome at Mummy’s Bed and Breakfast.

Just come on down to toot and come in. And don't mind the walking bandaged people.

Just come on down to toot and come in. And don’t mind the walking bandaged people.

7. A Halloween bauble wreath always has to be black and orange.

This one has it in stripes and beads. Not sure if black and orange go together like that though.

This one has it in stripes and beads. Not sure if black and orange go together like that though.

8. A black feather wreath has to include a few pumpkins.

And what shiny pumpkins they are, too. Still, though I like the fuzziness, I'm not sure if I'd want to clean up after it.

And what shiny pumpkins they are, too. Still, though I like the fuzziness, I’m not sure if I’d want to clean up after it.

9. Eeek! There’s a giant spider on that wreath.

Actually that's part of the decoration since it's for Halloween. But try explaining that to an arachnaphobe.

Actually that’s part of the decoration since it’s for Halloween. But try explaining that to an arachnaphobe.

10. For an easy Halloween decoration, try using doilies on unused black picture frames.

Because doilies make great spider webs. Also might make you seem rather eccentric.

Because doilies make great spider webs. Also might make you seem rather eccentric.

11. Mason jars are great for storing crows, spiders, and other creepers.

Well, these are terrariums. But these consist of a crow, a white preying mantis, and some white spiders.

Well, these are terrariums. But these consist of a crow, a white preying mantis, and some white spiders.

12. A giant spider in the front yard is great for freaking out the neighbors.

Before setting it up, explain to the neighbors that it's not a real spider and won't hurt anyone. Though they might be scared of it anyway.

Before setting it up, explain to the neighbors that it’s not a real spider and won’t hurt anyone. Though they might be scared of it anyway.

13. A terrarium grave yard is a decoration worth dying for.

Almost gives an impression of a mini cemetery. Like the use of old tombstones.

Almost gives an impression of a mini cemetery. Like the use of old tombstones.

14. Grace your Halloween table with an eyeball bouquet.

Because these are surely eye catching aren't they? Also, you can use these every year.

Because these are surely eye catching aren’t they? Also, you can use these every year.

15. Hang this wreath at your door to tell guests to beware.

And there's nothing like a skeleton in a top hat to enforce that measure. Still, I think this is great.

And there’s nothing like a skeleton in a top hat to enforce that measure. Still, I think this is great.

16. A crow’s feather wreath really makes an impression.

Now that's very classy. Love the feathers on this one. Great for any front door.

Now that’s very classy. Love the feathers on this one. Great for any front door.

17. These street signs will show you where to enter if you dare.

Love the names of these places. Not sure if I'd want to go to any of them though. Brilliant.

Love the names of these places. Not sure if I’d want to go to any of them though. Brilliant.

18. This Halloween owl wreath will surely be a hoot.

Well, this is a more cute Halloween decoration. But I really like the festive colors on this that I had to put it on.

Well, this is a more cute Halloween decoration. But I really like the festive colors on this that I had to put it on.

19. Black lace and old jewelry are perfect for a spooky candle holder.

Gives you an impression of a home being haunted doesn't it? Hope the candles keep the room lit up.

Gives you an impression of a home being haunted doesn’t it? Hope the candles keep the room lit up.

20. Curl up on Halloween night with this haunted house quilt.

And it has orange and black funky patchwork for your desires. Love the haunted house on this, too.

And it has orange and black funky patchwork for your desires. Love the haunted house on this, too.

21. If it’s haunted, then please help yourself.

I'm impressed by how skeletons can be so hospitable. Love how they used a picture frame for this, too.

I’m impressed by how skeletons can be so hospitable. Love how they used a picture frame for this, too.

22. Seems like someone got careless with taking out the garbage.

Yes, that's supposed to be a dead body in a trash bag. No, it's not real or else someone would be in trouble by this point. Please don't let it be real.

Yes, that’s supposed to be a dead body in a trash bag. No, it’s not real or else someone would be in trouble by this point. Please don’t let it be real.

23. Don’t look now but the roses are infested with spiders.

Now that's got to freak some viewers out. Don't worry, neither flowers nor spiders are real. They're just the wonder of plastics and synthetic fibers.

Now that’s got to freak some viewers out. Don’t worry, neither flowers nor spiders are real. They’re just the wonder of plastics and synthetic fibers.

24. Looks like the eyes have it for this monstrous wreath.

And it seems the eyes do, indeed. Love the black feathers on this, too. So clever.

And it seems the eyes do, indeed. Love the black feathers on this, too. So clever.

25. With this wreath, encourage guests to enter if they dare.

Yes, it's a wreath featuring a skull and bones. But it certainly looks quite scary if you ask me.

Yes, it’s a wreath featuring a skull and bones. But it certainly looks quite scary if you ask me.

26. A light up figure in the front yard gives off a ghostly impression.

No, you didn't see a ghost. That's just someone's Halloween decoration. Know the difference.

No, you didn’t see a ghost. That’s just someone’s Halloween decoration. Know the difference.

27. Make your home haunted with this Halloween wreath.

And yes, that does seem like a wreath you'd see on a haunted house. It looks quite tattered with skulls on it. Love it.

And yes, that does seem like a wreath you’d see on a haunted house. It looks quite tattered with skulls on it. Love it.

28. I’m sure these mummies can be very hospitable.

Not much you need to make either of these. As long as you keep them under wraps and their arms crossed, you're good to go.

Not much you need to make either of these. As long as you keep them under wraps and their arms crossed, you’re good to go.

29. Seems like somebody’s peeking in the window.

No, Mr. Bones, that's stalking. And I believe it's a crime. These people boarded up their windows for a reason.

No, Mr. Bones, that’s stalking. And I believe it’s a crime. These people boarded up their windows for a reason.

30. Nothing makes a great centerpiece like an old clown jack-o-lantern.

You might want to use a craft pumpkin before you proceed with this. Just so you know. But yes, it's kind of creepy.

You might want to use a craft pumpkin before you proceed with this. Just so you know. But yes, it’s kind of creepy.

31. Who can ever resist a Halloween pumpkin full of kittens?

Even better they're made from smaller pumpkins. You see, not all the Halloween decorations here have to be scary.

Even better they’re made from smaller pumpkins. You see, not all the Halloween decorations here have to be scary.

32. For your Halloween party, serve drinks to your guests with a head on a platter.

Now that's a classy way to serve drinks on Halloween. Helps that it's red wine to give the impression of blood.

Now that’s a classy way to serve drinks on Halloween. Helps that it’s red wine to give the impression of blood.

33. Got old wine bottles? Make jack-o-lanterns out of them.

And you can make them any face you want. Not sure if they light up though. But I like them.

And you can make them any face you want. Not sure if they light up though. But I like them.

34. How about lending a hand with the lights?

You see how they have detached hands with the lights. Sure it's creepy but it's pure Halloween gold.

You see how they have detached hands with the lights. Sure it’s creepy but it’s pure Halloween gold.

35. Seems like we might have a cold case on our hands.

And I don't think I'm far off the mark. This guy seems dead and buried for awhile at this point.

And I don’t think I’m far off the mark. This guy seems dead and buried for awhile at this point.

36. Ever get the feeling that all eyes are on you?

To be fair, I put up an eyeball wreath last year. But this one is a different design and has bloodshot ones on as well.

To be fair, I put up an eyeball wreath last year. But this one is a different design and has bloodshot ones on as well.

37. This deco mesh tree is one for all to see on Halloween.

Since there's all eyes on it. Also really like the colors, too. But it's really in the eyes.

Since there’s all eyes on it. Also really like the colors, too. But it’s really in the eyes.

38. Some witches aren’t always careful with cauldrons in case you don’t know.

Seems like this witch fell in head first. Too bad her feet stick up like they do. But that's what you get sometimes.

Seems like this witch fell in head first with her broomstick. Too bad her feet stick up like they do. But that’s what you get sometimes.

39. A witch should always stock with potion bottles.

These are great for cursing unruly trick or treators. Actually, they're only good for decoration.

These are great for cursing unruly trick or treators. Actually, they’re only good for decoration.

40. Well, this wreath seems to be webbed with spiders all over it.

Another wreath to freak out arachnaphobes. Too bad the purple spider hogs the web from the black ones.

Another wreath to freak out arachnaphobes. Too bad the purple spider hogs the web from the black ones.

41. Light up your living room this Halloween with this haunted candle display.

Don't worry, the candles are fake and are available at a craft store. But you have to like how they're covered in lace along with the skull center.

Don’t worry, the candles are fake and are available at a craft store. But you have to like how they’re covered in lace along with the skull center.

42. Welcome flying witches with this one-of-a-kind broom traffic cone.

Odd, I'd expect it to be orange so it could be easy to see. Anyway, I do like how it's shaped like a witch hat and the broom on top.

Odd, I’d expect it to be orange so it could be easy to see. Anyway, I do like how it’s shaped like a witch hat and the broom on top.

43. Didn’t know skeletons could drink each other under the table.

So if a skeleton runs a tab on beer, who pays for it? And where does the booze go? These are serious questions, people!

So if a skeleton runs a tab on beer, who pays for it? And where does the booze go? These are serious questions, people!

44. Okay, might want to beware of the biohazard zombie.

Don't want to know what's on him. And I really don't want to be near him. Great way to keep people off your lawn.

Don’t want to know what’s on him. And I really don’t want to be near him. Great way to keep people off your lawn.

45. It helps you keep some specimens in jars around the house.

Please don't say any of these animals and parts are real. And by the way, I bet the brain's from Abby Normal.

Please don’t say any of these animals and parts are real. And by the way, I bet the brain’s from Abby Normal.

46. Broom parking costs 5 cents, please.

Of course, you can store your brooms anywhere like in a closet. But be sure yours has your name on it.

Of course, you can store your brooms anywhere like in a closet. But be sure yours has your name on it.

47. Seems like Ignatius Simpson wants a bit of fresh air.

Or he just wants to peek into the outside world. I mean he might want to see how things changed since 1794.

Or he just wants to peek into the outside world. I mean he might want to see how things changed since 1794.

48. Nothing is more welcoming for a haunted home than a wreath of silver skeletons.

Yes, that's pretty freaky, all right. But I posted one with bones from last year. So to me, it's rather tame.

Yes, that’s pretty freaky, all right. But I posted one with bones from last year. So to me, it’s rather tame.

49. This haunted house wreath really makes a scene.

The wreath is from yarn and the scene from felt. Not too scary, but fine for families with kids.

The wreath is from yarn and the scene from felt. Not too scary, but fine for families with kids.

50. Apparently, some sicko must’ve attacked these two joggers not too long ago.

Actually, these are just really sick Halloween decorations of two hung corpses spilling their guts out. I know people might think it's too much. But at least they're not hanging to a tree by the neck.

Actually, these are just really sick Halloween decorations of two hung corpses spilling their guts out. I know people might think it’s too much. But at least they’re not hanging to a tree by the neck.

51. This spider wreath at night comes all lit.

And yet another wreath to scare the bejesus out of arachnaphobes. Doesn't hurt if the spiders are lighted up purple, too.

And yet another wreath to scare the bejesus out of arachnaphobes. Doesn’t hurt if the spiders are lighted up purple, too.

52. Wine bottles make great candle holders and potion bottles.

I guess potion bottles aren't that hard to do. After you paint them, just stick a candle in and you're done.

I guess potion bottles aren’t that hard to do. After you paint them, just stick a candle in and you’re done.

53. Who says a witch always has to have a wicker broom?

This one is a black deco mesh. It's not great for flying or cleaning. But it makes a great prop and decoration.

This one is a black deco mesh. It’s not great for flying or cleaning. But it makes a great prop and decoration.

54. A witch’s hat can always have fancy feathers to match.

Seems like something you'd see from a Dr. Seuss story. But it has such a whimsy quality to it.

Seems like something you’d see from a Dr. Seuss story. But it has such a whimsy quality to it.

55. Have a lot of cheese cloths lying around? Trying making a ghost.

Yes, that certainly looks like a ghost all right. Wonder if it lights up at night. Or does it matter?

Yes, that certainly looks like a ghost all right. Wonder if it lights up at night. Or does it matter?

56. You can’t go wrong having spiders around the house.

Guess whoever owns this house isn't afraid of spiders. Or heights, now that I think about it.

Guess whoever owns this house isn’t afraid of spiders. Or heights, now that I think about it.

57. This witch hat can use a few spiders and skulls on it.

Now this is a kind of wreath a witch would want. Doesn't hurt that it has some flowers.

Now this is a kind of wreath a witch would want. Doesn’t hurt that it has some flowers.

58. Hope you’re not scared of this large spider wreath.

Though I suspect some of you will be. Still, I wonder if the eyes and mouth glow in the dark. Probably.

Though I suspect some of you will be. Still, I wonder if the eyes and mouth glow in the dark. Probably.

59. Sometimes it helps if you hang the hats from the ceiling.

Gives an impression of invisible witches in our midst. And it's very simple to do.

Gives an impression of invisible witches in our midst. And it’s very simple to do.

60. Nothing makes a house more haunted than black lighted curtains.

Well, the lights are purple. But ti certainly gives a scary impression. Goes well with the lit spider wreath.

Well, the lights are purple. But ti certainly gives a scary impression. Goes well with the lit spider wreath.

61. Hope these moon coffins don’t give you bumps in the night.

These are more like dioramas with haunted night scenes. But I really think they're quite original.

These are more like dioramas with haunted night scenes. But I really think they’re quite original.

62. Instead of carving a pumpkin, why not cover one in lace.

Might want to go with a craft pumpkin if you want it to last. But I really like the black ribbon and lace on this.

Might want to go with a craft pumpkin if you want it to last. But I really like the black ribbon and lace on this.

63. No one could hide from this pumpkin spider.

This consists of 3 pumpkins and 8 twigs for each leg. Oh, and eyes. Makes a great lawn decoration.

This consists of 3 pumpkins and 8 twigs for each leg. Oh, and eyes. Makes a great lawn decoration.

64. For neighborhoods with trick or treaters, this is the sign for you.

Helps it has footprints for ghosts and Frankenstein monsters. Adorable.

Helps it has footprints for ghosts and Frankenstein monsters. Adorable.

65. A black witch’s hat is always where it’s at.

This one has feathers, ribbons, and flowers on it. Great for any witch on the town.

This one has feathers, ribbons, and flowers on it. Great for any witch on the town.

66. This Halloween grace your front door with this wreath of black lace.

Said to be made from a pool noodle and a black lace stocking. Love the flower.

Said to be made from a pool noodle and a black lace stocking. Love the flower.

67. This deco mesh ghost is here to greet you.

Seems quite friendly compared to the other ghosts on here. Great for families with young children.

Seems quite friendly compared to the other ghosts on here. Great for families with young children.

68. You can’t do wrong with a wreath sporting a shiny skull.

Well, this is quite snazzy. Like how they used black, white, and gray. Has a nice Halloween touch.

Well, this is quite snazzy. Like how they used black, white, and gray. Has a nice Halloween touch.

69. This flower pot witch really casts a spell.

Doesn't hurt she has a flower pot hat to match. And that she's near a pumpkin.

Doesn’t hurt she has a flower pot hat to match. And that she’s near a pumpkin.

70. It’s always a time to be scary with this jack-o-lantern clock.

Just remember to make this from a craft pumpkin. And only use the bottom. Still, the smile is eerie.

Just remember to make this from a craft pumpkin. And only use the bottom. Still, the smile is eerie.

71. Welcome to Miller’s Dead & Breakfast Inn.

You can check in but you can't check out. Also, don't mind the crows.

You can check in but you can’t check out. Also, don’t mind the crows.

72. Guess someone is burying bones in the garden.

Yes, these Halloween decorations can be quite morbid. This is especially when you put a skeleton in a wheelbarrow with dirt. Still, it's gravely clever.

Yes, these Halloween decorations can be quite morbid. This is especially when you put a skeleton in a wheelbarrow with dirt. Still, it’s gravely clever.

73. Help! This mummy is dead and he can’t get up.

However, the fact he could get up is scary enough. Also, the fact he's a mummy.

However, the fact he could get up is scary enough. Also, the fact he’s a mummy.

74. I don’t think having extra boards on that coffin does the trick.

Because the body's still trying to get out. And I think they might need a better box.

Because the body’s still trying to get out. And I think they might need a better box.

75. A black streamer crow wreath is great for any front door.

Though you might have to worry about rain in some areas. Perhaps it's best to keep it inside or on a wall.

Though you might have to worry about rain in some areas. Perhaps it’s best to keep it inside or on a wall.

76. Want to kill some sparkly vampires? Take a stake.

Because those kind of vampires make the Draculas out there look like wimps. Sorry, Twilight fans.

Because those kind of vampires make the Draculas out there look like wimps. Sorry, Twilight fans.

77. Unused wicked witch boots always gather weeds.

Except that these aren't exactly weeds per se. But you get the idea.

Except that these aren’t exactly weeds per se. But you get the idea.

78. Nothing makes a great Halloween wreath like a murder of crows.

Well, there's only a few of them as far as I could tell. But they sure give a great Halloween touch.

Well, there’s only a few of them as far as I could tell. But they sure give a great Halloween touch.

79. Enchant Halloween trick or treaters with this skeleton candle column.

The candles may not light up. But the skeleton is a real scream.

The candles may not light up. But the skeleton is a real scream.

80. This glass block jack-o-lantern can light up a room.

It may not be scary compared to some of the other decorations. But it's worthy for this post and orange.

It may not be scary compared to some of the other decorations. But it’s worthy for this post and orange.

81. Something tells me this woman hasn’t really moved on.

Well, this is a tombstone decoration with candles. But still, this isn't healthy relationship behavior.

Well, this is a tombstone decoration with candles. But still, this isn’t healthy relationship behavior.

82. Seems somebody has a haunted tree in their house.

No, I don't think it's like the ones at Middle Earth. But at least it can't pick itself up and move.

No, I don’t think it’s like the ones at Middle Earth. But at least it can’t pick itself up and move.

83. Shiny purple ribbons and other decor are great for a black witch hat.

Also has some black feather trimmings. In all, I think it's simply sensational.

Also has some black feather trimmings. In all, I think it’s simply sensational.

84. Keep your living room a light with this jack-o-lantern lamp.

It's just a lamp with a jack-o-lantern face. Nothing to see here because jack-o-lanterns aren't really scary.

It’s just a lamp with a jack-o-lantern face. Nothing to see here because jack-o-lanterns aren’t really scary.

85. A black feather wreath can always do with a few Halloween touches.

Yes, I have quite a few feather wreaths on here. But each is decorated in its own way so to speak. Love this one.

Yes, I have quite a few feather wreaths on here. But each is decorated in its own way so to speak. Love this one.

86. Jack-o-lantern glass blocks can light in different colors.

Come in orange, purple, and pink. And with different faces for each. Clever.

Come in orange, purple, and pink. And with different faces for each. Clever.

87. Make your very own haunted neighborhood with some black and glow in the dark paint.

Sure these houses aren't too fancy. But it kind of helps since it makes them easy to paint. Like the glowing tree.

Sure these houses aren’t too fancy. But it kind of helps since it makes them easy to paint. Like the glowing tree.

88. Seems like someone has restless bones in the night.

And he doesn't seem too happy either. Doesn't help there's light coming from his coffin.

And he doesn’t seem too happy either. Doesn’t help there’s light coming from his coffin.

89. A skull wreath always has to have roses and feathers.

Well, this is pretty morbid mostly because of the skulls. And the black stuff. Love the flowers.

Well, this is pretty morbid mostly because of the skulls. And the black stuff. Love the flowers.

90. Seems like we have a little ghost family on our hands.

Well, these are made from cheese cloth and don't take a particular shape. the girl ones have bows though.

Well, these are made from cheese cloth and don’t take a particular shape. the girl ones have bows though.

91. I bid you fair welcome to the Sleepy Hollow Bed and Breakfast.

The place for those who actually want to see the Headless Horseman. Just come and lay your head.

The place for those who actually want to see the Headless Horseman. Just come and lay your head.

92. There’s no place like tomb sweet tomb.

Like "Home Sweet Home" except more morbid with tone. Anyway, like the frame.

Like “Home Sweet Home” except more morbid with tone. Anyway, like the frame.

93. Impress Halloween party guests with this jack-o-lantern arch.

Lights up at night, too. Still, hope you have a lot of craft pumpkins and carving time for this.

Lights up at night, too. Still, hope you have a lot of craft pumpkins and carving time for this.

94. Nothing makes a better centerpiece for your Halloween table than this haunted candle display.

Yes, it's another Halloween candle display. But this has feathers and pumpkins. Love the purple holders.

Yes, it’s another Halloween candle display. But this has feathers and pumpkins. Love the purple holders.

95. Hope you can lend a hand with these flower pots.

Okay, maybe not how this decoration implies. Still, if I found hands in pots like this, I'd kind of freak out.

Okay, maybe not how this decoration implies. Still, if I found hands in pots like this, I’d kind of freak out.

96. Grace a buffet with this witch feet table runner.

Yes, it may be covered in cobwebs and have feet at the end. But I'm sure guest will love it.

Yes, it may be covered in cobwebs and have feet at the end. But I’m sure guest will love it.

97. The chandelier is covered in cobwebs again.

Actually that's an umbrella frame with some lights and a rope holding it. It's meant to resemble an old chandelier.

Actually that’s an umbrella frame with some lights and a rope holding it. It’s meant to resemble an old chandelier.

98. This raven chandelier shall leave your dining room nevermore.

Like how the birds seemed to build a nest and make themselves at home. This is brilliant.

Like how the birds seemed to build a nest and make themselves at home. This is brilliant.

99. This paper mache haunted house has a rather eerie presence.

After all, a witch currently occupies it. Love how it lights up with the roof and cobweb detail.

After all, a witch currently occupies it. Love how it lights up with the roof and cobweb detail.

100. That head has been on a platter for far too long.

Guess the raven kept it in a cage for years. Not sure what it wants to do with it.

Guess the raven kept it in a cage for years. Not sure what it wants to do with it.

Halloween Party Tricks or Treats (But Mostly Treats, Sort of) (Third Edition)

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It’s that time of year again. Longtime readers may remember my Halloween treat posts from 2014 and 2015. New readers on my blog, allow me to explain it to you. In these treat posts, I usually put up pictures of some Halloween treats along with a snarky little caption. Unlike other holiday treat posts, a lot of these Halloween treats are rather disgusting and gross. In fact, a lot of times disgusting is the thing. I mean if you want a scary Halloween party, disgusting food is highly recommended. But let’s not go overboard. Because there are disgusting foodstuff that you don’t want like maggots, mold, worms, or anything the FDA warns against. Or whatever your equivalent to the FDA is in your country.  I understand that a lot of people viewing this blog aren’t from the US. Now that’s fine. Yet, food in the form of skulls, worms, bones, guts, fingers, spiders, and all the creepy, crawly disgusting things is fair game. Anyway, here’s yet another treasure trove of the spooky and delightful Halloween treats for your party.

  1. A goblin cheese ball always makes a scary dip.
Even better how it's made mostly with veggie features. Like the nacho goblin ears.

Even better how it’s made mostly with veggie features. Like the nacho goblin ears.

2. Chocolate mummy cupcakes are all wrapped up for dessert.

Don't forget to add M&Ms as the eyes. That along with white drizzle on the chocolate cupcake.

Don’t forget to add M&Ms as the eyes. That along with white drizzle on the chocolate cupcake.

3. These coffin sandwiches will make you roll in your grave.

But in a good way since we're talking about Halloween food. Contains ham and cheese.

But in a good way since we’re talking about Halloween food. Contains ham and cheese.

4. Take a bit out of these monster cookie sandwiches.

Didn't know you can get as much cuteness from gobs, marshmallows, and M&Ms. Monstrously adorable.

Didn’t know you can get as much cuteness from gobs, marshmallows, and M&Ms. Monstrously adorable.

5. These Oreo spider cookies are great for your spooky dessert platter.

Helps that they used Oreos with red filling. Also with the M&M eyes and twizzler legs.

Helps that they used Oreos with red filling. Also with the M&M eyes and twizzler legs.

6. Nothing makes a great centerpiece for your Halloween party like a bloody jello brain cake.

I'm sure zombies or Walking Dead fans will delight in this. And yes, they do have brain molds available this time of year.

I’m sure zombies or Walking Dead fans will delight in this. And yes, they do have brain molds available this time of year.

7. How about some green fingers with tomato sauce?

Well, green finger breadsticks with almond nails. By the way, the sauce is supposed to be blood.

Well, green finger bread sticks with almond nails. By the way, the sauce is supposed to be blood.

8. Take a bite out of these twinkie mummies.

Just put them in icing, add drizzle, and add eyes. And yes, you'll want to eat these up.

Just put them in icing, add drizzle, and add eyes. And yes, you’ll want to eat these up.

9. Speaking of fingers, you might want to try these snickerdoodles.

The cinnamon gives a rather realistic touch. Kind of makes these look even creepier.

The cinnamon gives a rather realistic touch. Kind of makes these look even creepier.

10. These appetizers are a real eye opener.

These consist of Ritz crackers, cheese, and olives. But you wouldn't tell from the view.

These consist of Ritz crackers, cheese, and olives. But you wouldn’t tell from the view.

11. This artichoke dip mummy is great for green veggies.

Yes, I know it's another mummy dip since I have one in a post from 2 years. But this one has its legs close together.

Yes, I know it’s another mummy dip since I have one in a post from 2 years. But this one has its legs close together.

12. This snake pizza sandwich will be a hit at your slithering Halloween party.

Helps that it has some sauce, peppers, and cheese on top. Got to appreciate the brilliance here.

Helps that it has some sauce, peppers, and cheese on top. Got to appreciate the brilliance here.

13. These mummy Oreos come specially wrapped.

Yes, another Oreo treat. And these are on a stick. Still, they seem more cute than scary.

Yes, another Oreo treat. And these are on a stick. Still, they seem more cute than scary.

14. These Halloween pretzels are a ghoulish delight.

These consist of jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, and mummies. The last one is all in wraps with icing.

These consist of jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, and mummies. The last one is all in wraps with icing.

15. Top your Halloween party with this chocolate pumpkin cake.

Last year, I put up a picture of pumpkin cupcakes. Of course, you have to have orange icing on the top.

Last year, I put up a picture of pumpkin cupcakes. Of course, you have to have orange icing on the top.

16. Any child will surely enjoy these haunted haystacks.

These would be great for trick or treaters. As far as eyes go, use 2 or 3.

These would be great for trick or treaters. As far as eyes go, use 2 or 3.

17. A loaf of bread makes an ideal coffin and a great tray for dip.

Make sure it's not sliced before you buy it, if you have to. The skeleton is just for decoration and seems like wading in it.

Make sure it’s not sliced before you buy it, if you have to. The skeleton is just for decoration and seems like wading in it.

18. These spider brownies are black widow approved.

This one uses Twizzlers for legs. Of course, you might want to take out any attached candy corn.

This one uses Twizzlers for legs. Of course, you might want to take out any attached candy corn.

19. Wake up on Halloween morning with these jack-o-lantern pancakes.

Each will bring a smile on your face. Because nobody's really scared of jack-o-lanterns, anyway.

Each will bring a smile on your face. Because nobody’s really scared of jack-o-lanterns, anyway.

20. Grace your appetizer platter with this scarecrow tray.

Comes with Oreo crows for your autumn delight. Still, though they call it a dip tray, the scarecrow face is a tortilla.

Comes with Oreo crows for your autumn delight. Still, though they call it a dip tray, the scarecrow face is a tortilla.

21. This cake gives a whole new meaning to the word, “finger food.”

As you see, the fingers are around the cake with almond nails. Quite disgusting but rather stunning.

As you see, the fingers are around the cake with almond nails. Quite disgusting but rather stunning.

22. This haunted gingerbread house comes with its own pumpkin patch.

Sure most of it consists of inedible candy corn and waffle cookies. But it's a haunted delight.

Sure most of it consists of inedible candy corn and waffle cookies. But it’s a haunted delight.

23. No Halloween lunch could be complete with candy corn pizza.

Mark my words, it's probably more delicious and nutritious than actual candy corn. Because candy corn is unfit for human consumption.

Mark my words, it’s probably more delicious and nutritious than actual candy corn. Because candy corn is unfit for human consumption.

24. These coffin cookies will surely wake the dead for dessert.

These are a more 3 dimensional dessert. Just use gingerbread and icing. That's all you need.

These are a more 3 dimensional dessert. Just use gingerbread and icing. That’s all you need.

25. These ghost pancakes will help you rise from your grave.

Just try not to eat the whole stack. But the ghost is topped with some ghoulish whipped cream.

Just try not to eat the whole stack. But the ghost is topped with some ghoulish whipped cream.

26. Never thought you could eat a whole trick or treat bag. Did you?

Guess Twizzlers and gingerbread were involved. But at least it has a mix of gummy worms and popcorn.

Guess Twizzlers and gingerbread were involved. But at least it has a mix of gummy worms and popcorn.

27. Nobody could resist to bite into these monstrous brownies.

Love how they used M&Ms as spot. Also like the cute little eyes. So adorable.

Love how they used M&Ms as spot. Also like the cute little eyes. So adorable.

28. Nothing makes a great dessert like melted witch cookies.

And no, you can't just add water to them like in the Wizard of Oz. These are sugar cookies. They take time to decorate.

And no, you can’t just add water to them like in the Wizard of Oz. These are sugar cookies. They take time to decorate.

29. These black cat cookies are a lucky addition to a witchy dessert tray.

Not sure if I care for the jelly bean eyes. But these are the pussies worth grabbing for. Okay, that came out wrong.

Not sure if I care for the jelly bean eyes. But these are the pussies worth grabbing for, contrary to what Donald Trump would say. Okay, that came out wrong.

30. Now this is a cheese ball worth seeing.

Yes, it's a big eye ball you can dip crackers in. I know it's disgusting. But on Halloween, disgusting is in fashion.

Yes, it’s a big eye ball you can dip crackers in. I know it’s disgusting. But on Halloween, disgusting is in fashion.

31. If you’re kooky on the go, try these mad scientist wraps.

Can be great standing up or lying down. But each has a rather interesting veggie face.

Can be great standing up or lying down. But each has a rather interesting veggie face.

32. These spooky snacks are a must for any Halloween appetizer platter.

Each of these has a ghoulish Halloween surprise in cheese. And each has its own lunch meat backdrop.

Each of these has a ghoulish Halloween surprise in cheese. And each has its own lunch meat backdrop.

33. Never thought a skull could be so cheesy.

Guess these skulls come breaded. At any length, at least there's no blood or brains instead. Just cheese and broccoli.

Guess these skulls come breaded. At any length, at least there’s no blood or brains instead. Just cheese and broccoli.

34. If you have an eye for pies, look no further.

For some reason, I have a lot of eyeball treats on here. Guess tis the season, I suppose.

For some reason, I have a lot of eyeball treats on here. Guess tis the season, I suppose.

35. Beef stew and mashed potatoes make a great ghostly lunch.

Of course, you might find a ghost in your potatoes. But that's okay, because it's supposed to be there.

Of course, you might find a ghost in your potatoes. But that’s okay, because it’s supposed to be there.

36. These mummy calzones come under wraps.

If they were pizzas, the bandages would be cheese. But you have to love the eyes.

If they were pizzas, the bandages would be cheese. But you have to love the eyes.

37. This Halloween cake is a real eye opener.

Yes, it's a cake full of eyeballs. I know it's disgusting. But at least the eyeballs come in all different sizes and colors.

Yes, it’s a cake full of eyeballs. I know it’s disgusting. But at least the eyeballs come in all different sizes and colors.

38. Now this is how you carve a jack-o-lantern in a pumpkin pie.

You just make a jack-o-lantern face in the crust. Simple as that. Clever.

You just make a jack-o-lantern face in the crust. Simple as that. Clever.

39. This Halloween salsa dip will be a graveyard smash.

At least I think that's salsa dip. The graves stones and tree are made from crackers. Anyway, it'll be a hit.

At least I think that’s salsa dip. The graves stones and tree are made from crackers. Anyway, it’ll be a hit.

40. These deviled eggs come especially bloodshot for your fancy.

Because on Halloween, deviled eggs should be bloodshot eyeballs. It's only fitting.

Because on Halloween, deviled eggs should be bloodshot eyeballs. It’s only fitting.

41. These cauldron brownie bites will be a brewing sensation.

The brew in these bites are green chocolate chips. And I guess it uses a licorice handle.

The brew in these bites are green chocolate chips. And I guess it uses a licorice handle.

42. Get your webby hands on these spider pizza bites.

Each one has a spider made from olives. Not for the faint hearted arachnaphobe.

Each one has a spider made from olives. Not for the faint hearted arachnaphobe.

43. Nobody could resist these jack-o-lantern sandwich cookie faces.

As far as eating goes, just remove the candy corn eyes and you're good to go. Still, these are delightful.

As far as eating goes, just remove the candy corn eyes and you’re good to go. Still, these are delightful.

44. Speaking of jack-o-lanterns, help yourself to this sandwich.

Notice how they used cheese and olives for the features. Will bring a smile on your face.

Notice how they used cheese and olives for the features. Will bring a smile on your face.

45. This witch hat cheese ball makes a bewitching addition to any appetizer platter.

This is decorated with black sprinkles and carrot slices. But it's less disgusting than a skull or eyeball.

This is decorated with black sprinkles and carrot slices. But it’s less disgusting than a skull or eyeball.

46. You never know what you’ll find in your bowl of chili.

Seems like you can go for a cheesy bat or spider. This could depend on the size.

Seems like you can go for a cheesy bat or spider. This could depend on the size.

47. This Halloween pasta will surely cause a great monster mash.

Helps the pasta is purple to resemble worms and it's sprinkled with eyeballs. Makes you think you're eating something disgusting.

Helps the pasta is purple to resemble worms and it’s sprinkled with eyeballs. Makes you think you’re eating something disgusting.

48. Serve your meat entrees this Halloween in this zombie buffet.

Like how the zombie has tongs in both hands. By the way, ribs and sausage are in the torso. Chicken is in the legs.

Like how the zombie has tongs in both hands. By the way, ribs and sausage are in the torso. Chicken is in the legs.

49. Finger sandwiches, anyone?

Each one has a pepperoni nail. And you can dip each of one in tomato sauce if you like.

Each one has a pepperoni nail. And you can dip each of one in tomato sauce if you like.

50. Anyone will go mad for these Frankenstein Monster cupcakes.

Each of these is served in a green ice cream cone for good measure. They even have icing stitches.

Each of these is served in a green ice cream cone for good measure. They even have icing stitches.

51. These webbed donuts are worth spinning for.

You can even use a donut hole to create a spider if you want. But you might want to be precise with the icing.

You can even use a donut hole to create a spider if you want. But you might want to be precise with the icing.

52. This black cat cake will put a smile on your face.

Or give you nightmares. Then again, it kind of depends on how superstitious you are.

Or give you nightmares. Then again, it kind of depends on how superstitious you are.

53. You’ll find a lot of skeletons in these cupcakes.

You probably can't eat them since they're plastic decoration. But these are quite amusing.

You probably can’t eat them since they’re plastic decoration. But these are quite amusing.

54. Bloody cheesecake, anyone?

Each one has a cleaver so you could tell. Yes, it's quite gut wrenching but these are great.

Each one has a cleaver so you could tell. Yes, it’s quite gut wrenching but these are great.

55. These monster cookies are a real eyeful.

Each one is black and covered with eyes. I know it's weird, But for Halloween, it's appropriate.

Each one is black and covered with eyes. I know it’s weird, But for Halloween, it’s appropriate.

56. Even zombies would find these brainy cupcakes delicious.

Each one comes with a face container. In some ways, this is both sick and adorable at the same time.

Each one comes with a face container. In some ways, this is both sick and adorable at the same time.

57. These chocolate cockroaches will crawl into your mouth.

I bet they use candy bars and icing. Because using real ones would be rather gross. Still, much better than the candy corn.

I bet they use candy bars and icing. Because using real ones would be rather gross. Still, much better than the candy corn.

58. Candy corn is excellent trim for a gingerbread haunted house.

Since it's really not that great for anything else. After all, gingerbread houses are mostly for decoration.

Since it’s really not that great for anything else. After all, gingerbread houses are mostly for decoration.

59. These pasta mummies make great appetizers when wrapped tight.

Also comes with a cheesy center, as far as I know. Still, so cute and creative.

Also comes with a cheesy center, as far as I know. Still, so cute and creative.

60. How about a jack-o-lantern on toast?

Each one has a pumpkin face from filling as well as a chocolate chip face. I'm sure kids will love these.

Each one has a pumpkin face from filling as well as a chocolate chip face. I’m sure kids will love these.

61. On Halloween, candy apples should be good and bloody.

And bloody these surely are. Don't worry, it's mostly cherry syrup. Nothing to be grossed out about.

And bloody these surely are. Don’t worry, it’s mostly cherry syrup. Nothing to be grossed out about.

62. There are no bones about these skull brownie bites.

They even have their own chocolate hats. Got to love these. So cute.

They even have their own chocolate hats. Got to love these. So cute.

63. These worm cookies come infested to your hearts content.

Don't worry, those are sprinkles and gummy worms. You'd have to be nuts to use real dirt and worms, which is very unappetizing.

Don’t worry, those are sprinkles and gummy worms. You’d have to be nuts to use real dirt and worms, which is very unappetizing.

64. No Halloween meal is complete without some jack-o-lantern bread.

Then again, they may be buns. But at least you have to like their golden brown faces.

Then again, they may be buns. But at least you have to like their golden brown faces.

65. These witch hats come covered in cobwebs.

I've shown witch hats before but not with cobwebs on them. Wonder if they're candy, icing, chocolate, or inedible decoration.

I’ve shown witch hats before but not with cobwebs on them. Wonder if they’re candy, icing, chocolate, or inedible decoration.

66. These cauldron pudding cups come well stirred.

I showed cauldron cups before. But these have a chocolate chip min mix with a pretzel. Not as sick but just as clever.

I showed cauldron cups before. But these have a chocolate chip min mix with a pretzel. Not as sick but just as clever.

67. If you like the Nightmare Before Christmas, this is the Halloween cake for you.

You can also use it for Christmas if you want to. But this is of Halloween Town so it goes on this post.

You can also use it for Christmas if you want to. But this is of Halloween Town so it goes on this post.

68. These monster Reese’s bites will make you howl with delight.

Each has its set of googly eyes and fuzzy coconut fur to melt your heart. But I'll just take the Reese's cup, thanks.

Each has its set of googly eyes and fuzzy coconut fur to melt your heart. But I’ll just take the Reese’s cup, thanks.

69. Grace your appetizer platter with this spider cheese ball.

It even has 8 pretzel legs and a smile on its face. May still freak people out though.

It even has 8 pretzel legs and a smile on its face. May still freak people out though.

70. These coffin brownies are good for a Halloween party on the graveyard shift.

Each of these is wonderfully decorated, too. Morbid yes, but surely delicious.

Each of these is wonderfully decorated, too. Morbid yes, but surely delicious.

71. This haunted house cake is a haven for spiders.

Not necessarily a cake for the arachnaphobic in the least. But I do like how it's purple.

Not necessarily a cake for the arachnaphobic in the least. But I do like how it’s purple.

72. These hotdog mummies come intricately wrapped for your desires.

Each of these on a tray even has mustard eyes for character. Still, these are cute.

Each of these on a tray even has mustard eyes for character. Still, these are cute.

73. If you want a bloody brain at your dessert platter, look no further.

I think this is another brain cake and a very gory one at that. Not sure if I'd want to try that for size.

I think this is another brain cake and a very gory one at that. Not sure if I’d want to try that for size.

74. Perhaps you might want to try some finger fries.

They're probably what the Addams family eats with their burgers or hotdogs. But you have to admire this for sheer creativity.

They’re probably what the Addams family eats with their burgers or hotdogs. But you have to admire this for sheer creativity.

75. These peanut butter witch brooms are surely a sweep.

Each consist of peanut butter, icing, pretzel sticks, and shredded wheat. Seems easy as pie.

Each consist of peanut butter, icing, pretzel sticks, and shredded wheat. Seems easy as pie.

76. For a creepy crawly lunch, you can’t do better than this sandwich of worms.

Relax, the "worms" are made from ham in barbecue sauce. But hope it creeps to your delight.

Relax, the “worms” are made from ham in barbecue sauce. But hope it creeps to your delight.

77. Grace your Halloween dessert platter with a cake that takes an eye full.

I guess the eyeball here is for decorative purposes. But the socket is drizzled with icing.

I guess the eyeball here is for decorative purposes. But the socket is drizzled with icing.

78. These popcorn balls are just crawling with worms.

Well, gummy worms if you get my drift. But yes, these are very disgusting but people will like them.

Well, gummy worms if you get my drift. But yes, these are very disgusting but people will like them.

79. You’ll have to be a ghost not to like this pizza.

It even has tomato eyes and mouth as well as is covered in cheese. Yes, this is pure Halloween gold.

It even has tomato eyes and mouth as well as is covered in cheese. Yes, this is pure Halloween gold.

80. It must be a grave mistake if your Halloween party lacks a coffin cake.

You may not be able to eat the hands and skull. But a coffin shape cake isn't a hard shape to achieve.

You may not be able to eat the hands and skull. But a coffin shape cake isn’t a hard shape to achieve.

The Fantastic Footwear World of Shoes

pakistani-shoe-trends-for-coming-eid-ul-fitr-2012

Unless you’re a hobbit on Middle Earth, there’s a very good chance you’ll need a pair of shoes to protect your feet. You may also need different kinds of shoes depending on occasion. Some people wear special shoes related to their job. Some wear them as a fashion statement. But why or when we wear them, shoes always have a major place in our lives. If you’re a famous dictator’s wife in the Philippines, they’re a major collector’s item. If you’re an American Muslim from the Middle East, they’re something you throw at Donald Trump at one of his rallies as a way of saying, “Thanks for stereotyping us as terrorists and making our lives miserable, you xenophobic asshole.” And if you’re a woman at Gabe’s, it’s likely they probably won’t have the shoes you want available. Of course, I always try to keep a hold of my shoes as much as I can. I have high heels for special occasions depending on seasons. I have a pair of tennis shoes for everyday life. I have pair of old tennis shoes for yard work. I have sandals to slip on when I need to go outside. I have old marching band shoes I wear for job interviews. I have a pair of flip flops for a public showers. I have slippers for around the house. And I have a pair of boots for winter weather. So that makes my shoe wardrobe. Now I can show you all the great shoes out there but you’ll probably be bored to tears. So instead, I’ll show you shoes that might make you scratch your heads. And most of these won’t make a comfortable fit or have any practical use whatsoever. For your reading pleasure, I give you a treasure trove of unique shoes.

  1. A high heel must have a nice colorful plume in the front.
Not sure if I like the colors on this one. But this is an interesting shoe to look at.

Not sure if I like the colors on this one. But this is an interesting shoe to look at.

2. You’ve never seen a golden sandal like this.

Guess a shoe like this doesn't come cheap. And I think having to pay more than $50 for a pair of sneakers was something to bitch about.

Guess a shoe like this doesn’t come cheap. And I think having to pay more than $50 for a pair of sneakers was something to bitch about.

3. This high heel shoe is meant for the woman who uses antlers in all of her decorating.

Of course, these aren't real antlers. But they'll look sensational in any hunting trophy room.

Of course, these aren’t real antlers. But they’ll look sensational in any hunting trophy room.

4. Heard of an alligator purse? How about an alligator shoe?

I hope that gator isn't real. Or is it a crocodile. If the latter, than this must be the best croc I've seen. Literally.

I hope that gator isn’t real. Or is it a crocodile. If the latter, than this must be the best croc I’ve seen. Literally.

5. These hooves are golden.

Yes, these are golden hoof shoes. And I don't think they look too comfortable. Seriously, they don't seem to have much support.

Yes, these are golden hoof shoes. And I don’t think they look too comfortable. Seriously, they don’t seem to have much support.

6. This pair of sandals come from the fringes.

However, I hope these don't come with a Native American costume. Because I don't think Indian women would wear them.

However, I hope these don’t come with a Native American costume. Because I don’t think Indian women would’ve worn them.

7. These boots must be nicely laced up.

Well, they seem to have a lot of lace on them. Or are those yarn cobwebs or fishnets?

Well, they seem to have a lot of lace on them. Or are those yarn cobwebs or fishnets?

8. How arched platform slippers like these?

Not sure if they'd be more comfortable than high heels. But they sure as hell aren't shoes I can walk in.

Not sure if they’d be more comfortable than high heels. But they sure as hell aren’t shoes I can walk in.

9. This pair comes with a real bite.

And they're not kidding here. Not sure if they're shoes I'd want to sink my teeth into. Because they don't seem like I can walk in them.

And they’re not kidding here. Not sure if they’re shoes I’d want to sink my teeth into. Because they don’t seem like I can walk in them.

10. If wicked witches had high heeled boots, they’d look like these.

Okay, maybe if they wore stiletto boots. Still, I think ruby slippers are much more comfortable.

Okay, maybe if they wore stiletto boots. Still, I think ruby slippers are much more comfortable.

11. With this pair of sandals, the eyes have it.

And they seem to be staring right back at you. Seems kind of creepy to me.

And they seem to be staring right back at you. Seems kind of creepy to me.

12. This sneaker comes with its very own CD player.

A CD player sneaker. wonder how that works. Wonder if I even want this.

A CD player sneaker. wonder how that works. Wonder if I even want this.

13. This pair gives the term “footie slippers” a whole new meaning.

Okay, this is pretty strange. You put your foot into slippers shaped like feet. Insane.

Okay, this is pretty strange. You put your foot into slippers shaped like feet. Insane.

14. Now this boot is pretty surreal.

I think someone might've made this. Was probably on acid at the time. Yes, I don't have much of an explanation for it either.

I think someone might’ve made this. Was probably on acid at the time. Yes, I don’t have much of an explanation for it either.

15. Not sure if these high heels are for walking or ice skating.

And if they're for both, can I remove the blades? Then again, I don't think skating in high heels is a good idea.

And if they’re for both, can I remove the blades? Then again, I don’t think skating in high heels is a good idea.

16. Did this person step in some gum?

No, that's just how the shoe is designed. The gum is at the heel. I know what you're thinking but it's not what it looks like.

No, that’s just how the shoe is designed. The gum is at the heel. I know what you’re thinking but it’s not what it looks like.

17. These high heels are surely ap-peeling.

If only Carmen Miranda could wear these to match her hat. Then her whole outfit would've been perfect.

If only Carmen Miranda could wear these to match her hat. Then her whole outfit would’ve been perfect.

18. These high heel shoes come extra spiked.

If there were orc women on Middle Earth, you can bet they'd wear shoes like these. And they'd use them as weapons.

If there were orc women on Middle Earth, you can bet they’d wear shoes like these. And they’d use them as weapons.

19. I’ve heard that hoof heeled shoes are all the rage these days.

Yes, these are made from horse legs. I know it's kind of creepy. But at least these have some support unlike the other hoof shoes.

Yes, these are made from horse legs. I know it’s kind of creepy. But at least these have some support unlike the other hoof shoes.

20. This shoe has a chocolate cupcake sweetness to it.

However, I don't think it offers great foot support at the heel. But it has a nice strawberry on top.

However, I don’t think it offers great foot support at the heel. But it has a nice strawberry on top.

21. For Jaws fans, this high heeled shoe is hard to resist.

Perfect for the fashion runway during Shark Week. Of course, It has teeth in the back and a dorsal fin on the front.

Perfect for the fashion runway during Shark Week. Of course, It has teeth in the back and a dorsal fin on the front.

22. These heels must be at the wrong place.

Because those heels have to be on the back for support. Not near the sole which doesn't accomplish much.

Because those heels have to be on the back for support. Not near the sole which doesn’t accomplish much.

23. Try walking in shoes with bulky cushions on them.

At least I think they're cushions. But they're quite bulky that I wouldn't be caught dead in them.

At least I think they’re cushions. But they’re quite bulky that I wouldn’t be caught dead in them.

24. A shoe like this is for anyone who takes life from the horns.

I have to put this on my post since my sister went to VCU. Their mascot is a ram. This shoe has a ram's horn.

I have to put this on my post since my sister went to VCU. Their mascot is a ram. This shoe has a ram’s horn.

25. Wonder what it’s like to walk in shoes like these.

They just seem to be made from plastic with ribbons on it. Also, seem easily breakable.

They just seem to be made from plastic with ribbons on it. Also, seem easily breakable.

26. These sundae shoes will bring sweet smiles.

They even have platform and heels on the cones. Not to mention, the cherry on top.

They even have platform and heels on the cones. Not to mention, the cherry on top.

27. These leaf shoes are the height of fall fashion.

Kind of remind me what you'd see Robin Hood wear. If he tried living off the land a little more. Then again, leaf shoes wouldn't look like these.

Kind of remind me what you’d see Robin Hood wear. If he tried living off the land a little more. Then again, leaf shoes wouldn’t look like these.

28. This tentacle shoe is great for undersea couture.

It's also the shoe you'd see Maleficent wear with Ursula's parts. Okay, maybe I went too far with that one.

It’s also the shoe you’d see Maleficent wear with Ursula’s parts. Okay, maybe I went too far with that one.

29. No one could resist this squirrelicorn heel.

Brought to you by the latest in fashion and rogue taxidermy. Yeah, this is pretty freaky.

Brought to you by the latest in fashion and rogue taxidermy. Yeah, this is pretty freaky.

30. Ever thought you’d like to walk in a suspended basket? Now you can.

Yes, this is one crazy shoe. Seems likely to break once you stand up in it.

Yes, this is one crazy shoe. Seems likely to break once you stand up in it.

31. Wonder if this shoe has stepped in something.

No, that's just how the shoe's designed. Not sure if it provides any ample support.

No, that’s just how the shoe’s designed. Not sure if it provides any ample support.

32. There’s something fishy about this high heeled shoe.

That it has two goldfish in it. Hope they were taken out after the photo shoot. Or just photoshopped on here.

That it has two goldfish in it. Hope they were taken out after the photo shoot. Or just photoshopped on here.

33. This high heel shoe brings in the flowery spring.

Know the flowers are fake in this one. Because if they were real, you couldn't wear it.

Know the flowers are fake in this one. Because if they were real, you couldn’t wear it.

34. Not sure if abstract shoes provide some support.

Because this shoe doesn't seem sturdy or provide any support. Not sure what would a podiatrist think.

Because this shoe doesn’t seem sturdy or provide any support. Not sure what would a podiatrist think.

35. This octopus shoe is the latest in ocean fashion.

Wonder if it's available in purple for those who want to dress up as Ursula. Then again, normal shoes will do.

Wonder if it’s available in purple for those who want to dress up as Ursula. Then again, normal shoes will do.

36. Bet you never saw wooden shoes like these.

Probably not, because clogs were peasant wear, folks. Still, they don't look comfortable.

Probably not, because clogs were peasant wear, folks. Still, they don’t look comfortable.

37. These shoes carry an infinity of gold rings.

Yes, these gold boots go up to one's knee in gold rings. Not sure if they're flattering though.

Yes, these gold boots go up to one’s knee in gold rings. Not sure if they’re flattering though.

38. Ladies, if you like high heels and scuba diving, these flipper shoes are for you.

These are flipper high heels which can go with any scuba diving dress at your desire. Great for swimming and long walks at the beach, especially during a hurricane or flood.

These are flipper high heels which can go with any scuba diving dress at your desire. Great for swimming and long walks at the beach, especially during a hurricane or flood.

39. Never saw sandal platforms like these before.

Well, they seem sturdy. But I don't think they're necessarily comfortable at any stretch of the imagination.

Well, they seem sturdy. But I don’t think they’re necessarily comfortable at any stretch of the imagination.

40. This gnome heeled shoe will support you.

May be more wearable than a lot of the others in this post. But its biggest drawback is tackiness.

May be more wearable than a lot of the others in this post. But its biggest drawback is tackiness.

41. Take a look at this flowery platform sandal.

Well, at least it has a lovely design on it. But as a piece of practical footwear, it wouldn't pass the test.

Well, at least it has a lovely design on it. But as a piece of practical footwear, it wouldn’t pass the test.

42. These flaming high heels are smoking hot.

Yes, they certainly have flames, all right. And I'm sure Katniss would wear ones that look real on the Hunger Games.

Yes, they certainly have flames, all right. And I’m sure Katniss would wear ones that look real on the Hunger Games.

43. This pair of shoes come specially bladed.

Now how do you walk in these exactly? Because they don't seem to have a kind of shoe sole that you'd find on every shoe.

Now how do you walk in these exactly? Because they don’t seem to have a kind of shoe sole that you’d find on every shoe.

44. These pink heels are fit for a princess.

These seem to be made from plastic or rubber. In any case, they seem rather tacky in princess wear.

These seem to be made from plastic or rubber. In any case, they seem rather tacky in princess wear.

45. This green sandal comes with a vine.

Well, it's great for anything leavy. Like if you're dressed as the Jolly Green Giant's wife for Halloween.

Well, it’s great for anything leafy. Like if you’re dressed as the Jolly Green Giant’s wife for Halloween.

46. These caged heels are best left to the birds.

Doesn't hurt that they have a macaw in them. Still, these look quite nifty.

Doesn’t hurt that they have a macaw in them. Still, these look quite nifty.

47. Didn’t know you can make a high heeled shoe from an erector set.

Then again, if Tim Gunn had an erector set as a kid, he'd certainly make this. Still, doesn't look comfortable.

Then again, if Tim Gunn had an erector set as a kid, he’d certainly make this. Still, doesn’t look comfortable.

48. Not I don’t think anything’s spilled here.

It's just how the shoe is designed, folks. Though the heel seems quite thin. Like the cup handle front.

It’s just how the shoe is designed, folks. Though the heel seems quite thin. Like the cup handle front.

49. These black and gold shoes go great with the fancy scenery.

They have gold soles and black leather. However, wouldn't want to walk in these.

They have gold soles and black leather. However, wouldn’t want to walk in these.

50. These wooden heeled boots seem to have no soles to them.

They're just wooden stands with straps on them. Not great for walking around in at all.

They’re just wooden stands with straps on them. Not great for walking around in at all.

51. These playground heels are worth a slide.

But I'm sure they're not meant for the playground. Because these don't seem to have much support with the ladder.

But I’m sure they’re not meant for the playground. Because these don’t seem to have much support with the ladder.

52. These high heeled shoes come better in swirls.

These are perfect for any gorgon in your life. Though you might not want to look her in the eye for it'll make you petrified.

These are perfect for any gorgon in your life. Though you might not want to look her in the eye for it’ll make you petrified.

53. These wire heels almost feel like nothing.

Because they're useless to protecting your bare feet. You're better off in socks.

Because they’re useless to protecting your bare feet. You’re better off in socks.

54. These shoes seem like they’re on wheels.

Seems like you'd find someone wearing in TRON. And even then, I'm not sure how anyone could walk in these.

Seems like you’d find someone wearing in TRON. And even then, I’m not sure how anyone could walk in these.

55. These red high boots don’t have much on the heel.

Now these can't be comfortable. Seriously, how can anyone walk in these? It's insane.

Now these can’t be comfortable. Seriously, how can anyone walk in these? It’s insane.

56. You can literally mop the floor with this shoe.

But please dip it in water first before you proceed. Because it won't be effective.

But please dip it in water first before you proceed. Because it won’t be effective.

57. How about shoes with crystal bottoms?

And these are held in a gray mesh. Sure they're impractical but they're quite cool.

And these are held in a gray mesh. Sure they’re impractical but they’re quite cool.

58. Speaking of crystals, this heel comes spiked.

And in shiny colors, too. Not something I'd want to walk in. Worried I might stab someone.

And in shiny colors, too. Not something I’d want to walk in. Worried I might stab someone.

59. You’d almost think these shoes were made from the skin of one’s feet.

In a way, that might be so. But the shoes seem quite squared if you ask me.

In a way, that might be so. But the shoes seem quite squared if you ask me.

60. With these shoes, who knows how you’ll be walking.

Now these really can't be good for your feet. They don't seem to have a great structure. Why?

Now these really can’t be good for your feet. They don’t seem to have a great structure. Why?

61. These leather shoes now come with horseshoes.

Great for making horse tracks in mud or snow. But not on a race track because you probably can't run with them.

Great for making horse tracks in mud or snow. But not on a race track because you probably can’t run with them.

62. This sandal is available in Queen Anne’s Lace.

But is it wearable? Seems too delicate to try. Not sure why this exists.

But is it wearable? Seems too delicate to try. Not sure why this exists.

63. Now this is the kind of heel to rock in.

Well, if you really like rock music. But I wouldn't advise you to wear high heels at a concert.

Well, if you really like rock music. But I wouldn’t advise you to wear high heels at a concert.

64. This shoe has a rather feathery disposition.

As far as I could tell, anyway. Because I'd swear that Bjork would actually wear this at a concert.

As far as I could tell, anyway. Because I’d swear that Bjork would actually wear this at a concert.

65. This pie heel comes in cherry.

Yes, this is a cherry pie shoe. But the heel is quite forked.

Yes, this is a cherry pie shoe. But the heel is quite forked.

66. How about strutting in these sundae boots?

Well, strawberry sundae boots anyway. Got to love how they're topped with fudge, cherries, and whipped cream.

Well, strawberry sundae boots anyway. Got to love how they’re topped with fudge, cherries, and whipped cream.

67. These shoes come fully fanged.

Great for a Halloween costume. Only if you can walk in them. Not sure if I could.

Great for a Halloween costume. Only if you can walk in them. Not sure if I could.

68. Finally, a shoe for the open road.

Seems like this shoe road is busy. But at least you can wear it better than a lot of the other ones on this post.

Seems like this shoe road is busy. But at least you can wear it better than a lot of the other ones on this post.

69. This pair of heels comes in roped together.

Doesn't hurt that the soles are of corks as far as I know. Not sure what to make of these.

Doesn’t hurt that the soles are of corks as far as I know. Not sure what to make of these.

70. Guess this is what you’d call a “pasta heel.”

Even comes covered in spaghetti and meatballs. Hope it doesn't make a mess.

Even comes covered in spaghetti and meatballs. Hope it doesn’t make a mess.

71. Sometimes it helps if you walk on a spine.

This pair goes with a heel of vertebrae. Though they may not be great for your feet.

This pair goes with a heel of vertebrae. Though they may not be great for your feet.

72. Try to walk a foot in this sandwich.

Not exactly what you get at Subway is it? Not sure if it's great for walking either.

Not exactly what you get at Subway is it? Not sure if it’s great for walking either.

73. This stiletto is great for a sinister gal.

Except when it comes to your feet. Then it's just plain monstrous.

Except when it comes to your feet. Then it’s just plain monstrous.

74. These shoes are all soled up to the teeth.

And I mean literally in this case. Might be fine to walk in them. But they're quite creepy.

And I mean literally in this case. Might be fine to walk in them. But they’re quite creepy.

75. Never thought you can find a heel so monstrous.

Yes, I know this shoe design makes no sense. But it'll sure look great for a Halloween costume. Got to love the teeth.

Yes, I know this shoe design makes no sense. But it’ll sure look great for a Halloween costume. Got to love the teeth.

76. Seems like someone’s walking in spilled paint.

Actually that's just a shoe design complete with a splatter. Don't try to look into it too deeply.

Actually that’s just a shoe design complete with a splatter. Don’t try to look into it too deeply.

77. This sandal is all corked.

Well, nothing but corked, anyway. Hope this was made from those from a craft store. Or there might be a problem.

Well, nothing but corked, anyway. Hope this was made from those from a craft store. Or there might be a problem.

78. These googly eyed shoes seem to see everything.

Doesn't help that the eyes come in all different sizes. Looks pretty freaky to me.

Doesn’t help that the eyes come in all different sizes. Looks pretty freaky to me.

79. This lipstick heel is all made up.

Well, it's an elegant shoe, lipstick or not. Hope it doesn't leave red marks.

Well, it’s an elegant shoe, lipstick or not. Hope it doesn’t leave red marks.

80. This high heeled boot is all squared.

Well, in all different colors, anyway. Not sure why it looks this way. But I like it.

Well, in all different colors, anyway. Not sure why it looks this way. But I like it.

81. A shoe like this can help you spring into action.

Well, at least at the heel. Not sure if the spring can actually compress if pressed.

Well, at least at the heel. Not sure if the spring can actually compress if pressed.

82. These heels are pure steampunk gold.

Had to put a steampunk shoe somewhere in this post. Notice how the heel looks mechanized.

Had to put a steampunk shoe somewhere in this post. Notice how the heel looks mechanized.

83. How about a braided heel?

This one is golden if you get my drift. Other than that, it resembles a normal shoe.

This one is golden if you get my drift. Other than that, it resembles a normal shoe.

84. Nothing is more stylish than an orchid heel.

This one comes in pink. But orchids can be of any color. Looks quite delicate.

This one comes in pink. But orchids can be of any color. Looks quite delicate.

85. Not sure if these shoes can wheel you in.

Though you might try. Yet, I don't think these were made for practicality.

Though you might try. Yet, I don’t think these were made for practicality.

86. These denim boots are heavy duty.

They even come with pockets. Probably made from an old pair of jeans, no doubt.

They even come with pockets. Probably made from an old pair of jeans, no doubt.

87. Ever tried on a monstrosity heel like this.

I've seen many heels like this in different colors. But yeah, it's pretty freak if you asked me.

I’ve seen many heels like this in different colors. But yeah, it’s pretty freak if you asked me.

88. There’s nothing in like snake skin.

Well, the snake skin is one thing. But the shape of these shoes is another. At any rate, they're weird looking.

Well, the snake skin is one thing. But the shape of these shoes is another. At any rate, they’re weird looking.

89. Ever seen a caged sandal before?

Yes, it's another cage shoe. But I do like the lovely flower decorations on this.

Yes, it’s another cage shoe. But I do like the lovely flower decorations on this.

90. These prehistoric heels are the latest from Jurassic Park.

Got to love how they feature a T-Rex for support. Now that's a real dinosaur.

Got to love how they feature a T-Rex for support. Now that’s a real dinosaur.

91. This cyberpunk boot comes in full gear.

Well, not exactly with gears for it also has spikes at the foot. But yeah, it seems straight from Bladerunner.

Well, not exactly with gears for it also has spikes at the foot. But yeah, it seems straight from Bladerunner.

92. Take a look at these golden scorpion heels.

Never thought such fearsome creatures could be so stylish on a shoe. And yes, these are scorpions which are worse than crabs. Because they're poisonous.

Never thought such fearsome creatures could be so stylish on a shoe. And yes, these are scorpions which are worse than crabs. Because they’re poisonous.

93. These fish sandals are great for the beach.

Though people might think you're a bit fishy. Might want to stay away from sharks in these for obvious reasons.

Though people might think you’re a bit fishy. Might want to stay away from sharks in these for obvious reasons.

94. Try on this footlong flip flop.

Well, it's on a dark bread slice instead of a bun. But it has a lot of toppings.

Well, it’s on a dark bread slice instead of a bun. But it has a lot of toppings.

95. They always said that moleskin slippers are comfy.

Though these moleskin shoes are pretty damn creepy. But that's what you get with taxidermy.

Though these moleskin shoes are pretty damn creepy. But that’s what you get with taxidermy.

96. These shoes come with multiple supports.

You got that right. But that doesn't mean they're comfortable or even walkable.

You got that right. But that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable or even walkable.

97. You’d almost think these shoes were melting.

No, that's just how the shoes were made. Though I wouldn't want to walk in these.

No, that’s just how the shoes were made. Though I wouldn’t want to walk in these.

98. With this heel, it’s have gun will travel.

Guaranteed to make you a belle at the NRA convention. Though I hope the gun and bullets aren't operational.

Guaranteed to make you a belle at the NRA convention. Though I hope the gun and bullets aren’t operational.

99. Looks like Atlas has quite a foot to hold in this heel.

I think this shoe design is called, "Golddigger." Seems oddly fitting to me.

I think this shoe design is called, “Golddigger.” Seems oddly fitting to me.

100. A shoe like this can really be a deadly weapon when knuckles are involved.

Guess this is called "a purse snatcher's worst nightmare. Though the heel could do quite a bit of damage.

Guess this is called “a purse snatcher’s worst nightmare. Though the heel could do quite a bit of damage.

Policing for Profit: The High Price of Low Taxation

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Nobody likes taxes. In fact, that’s why politicians always campaign on lowering them to lessen burdens on families. But we have to admit, if we didn’t pay them our governments couldn’t govern and provide services we need as a society. Believe me, our Founding Fathers found this out the hard way with the Articles of Confederation. The truth is, governments to raise money somehow and taxation is a fair way to do so. And I think a progressive tax system in which the rich are taxed more than the poor is sufficient since the rich earn more money. Yet, no matter what your tax bracket is, you still benefit from government services in some way. Still, if taxes are either too low or don’t provide enough revenue, then governments could be in trouble and sometimes cutting programs and staff may could lead to catastrophic results. Some local governments may find ways to enrich their coffers during times of financial pressure when other forms of revenue decline.

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Guys, if you want to know why pot isn’t legal in California. Remember that its state police have funded efforts opposing marijuana legalization. And here we have two cops gloating over their booty.

In recent years, thousands of American cities and towns have relied on judicial fines and forfeiture to fund their governments, which is unhealthy for our democracy. Serious revenue declines, anti-tax popularity, local budget pressures have led municipalities to expand their use of revenue-generating law enforcement practices such as red light and speed cameras. However, public awareness hasn’t hit the national spotlight until the Department of Justice’s 2014 investigation into Ferguson, Missouri. We all know that the DOJ was looking into Ferguson due the police shooting of Michael Brown. But the racism and injustice in Ferguson was far worse. Between 2011 and 2013, the city collected 80% more fines and forfeitures by which point it raised 20% of its budget through this. Before the killing of Michael Brown, Ferguson anticipated that they’d collect an extra million through 2014 through police activity, raising a total of 25% through fines. This despite being home to a Fortune 500 company Edison Electric, a successfully revitalized commercial district, and an office park filled with corporate tenants that Ferguson could’ve taxed for all their worth. Well, if it weren’t for an amendment from the 1980s requiring citywide referendum approval on local tax increases, licenses, or fees. Even then, it wouldn’t be difficult since I think Ferguson’s 67% black population would’ve approved since they pay most city taxes anyway while the wealthy are barely taxed at all. Seriously, Ferguson’s tax system is incredibly unfair. Cities and their police departments may see increasing their dependence on fines as a viable strategy for funding their governments but it corrupts the justice system and brings great harm to the people it serves.

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So far, John Oliver has been among the only people in the mainstream media to show the problem with profit policing. This one pertains to municipal violations which can screw the poor and minorities.

  1. Profit Policing Is Not Normal nor Financially Healthy – For economically healthy municipalities, even when the absolute dollar total of fines and forfeitures may be large, they still represent a small proportion local revenue. Places like New York City, Washington D.C. and San Francisco only raise about 1-2% of their budget through civil penalties, which is about the norm. And that’s how it should be. Because most cities run on progressive tax revenue like income and property taxes. Ferguson doesn’t. In their budget, regressive taxes like sales and utilities account for almost 60% of the city’s revenue followed by municipal fines at 20%. By contrast, progressive taxes account for just under 12%. This means that Ferguson extracted more revenue from African American renters than from those owning the homes themselves. This is not how a local government should generate revenue and it’s no wonder that Ferguson has had trouble paying its bills since it incurred a debt of $3.7 trillion. And it had its credit rating downgraded to junk status by Moody’s in 2015. Even worse towns around Ferguson relied on fines for over 30% of their revenue. 3 towns in Louisiana reported collecting more from fines than from taxes with Henderson collecting $3.73 in fines for every tax dollar. Relying on fines to keep municipalities afloat isn’t normal because relying on bad behavior to balance local budgets isn’t financially viable. Making even less sense is jailing people who owe less money than it cost to incarcerate them, leading to bigger deficits as well as a cycle of dependency. As the Brennan Center’s Justice Center put it, “Having taxpayers foot a bill of $4,000 to incarcerate a man who owes the state $745 or a woman who owes a predatory lender $425 and removing them from the job force makes sense in no reasonable world.”
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When law enforcement is most concerned with creating revenue from citations, protecting and serving the community is no longer a priority. Instead, the community is exploited with very harmful results. This is why for profit policing is bad.

2. Profit Policing Undermines Justice– Fines and civil forfeitures were set as disciplinary measures, not as a municipal fundraiser. They were never meant to contribute significant revenue to local governments. But this is exactly what happened in Ferguson that the city manager and police chief discussed using tickets to meet revenue benchmarks. Not to mention, police were encouraged to issue traffic tickets who were evaluated and promoted on how much cash they could gin up. In Saint Louis County, half the judges had incentives to find people guilty and coerce payment through threat of jail. Not to mention, civil asset forfeiture becomes big which results in prosecutors and police departments to adjust budgets and tactics in order to prioritize fundraising over public safety and justice. Often this could lead to police being better trained to pursue seizures and take advantage of lax standards for the department’s benefit. It’s very clear that whenever law enforcement is a fundraising tool, the justice system is severely compromised. Because when you use law enforcement to raise funds, then it’s not about promoting safety or justice. It’s about making money through people breaking the law which can hurt the nation’s most vulnerable people.

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When it comes to policing for profit, racial minorities are often the victims and are disproportionately targeted. Here is Valerie Whitner from Pagedale, Missouri who along with her husband, accumulated $2,800 in fines for issues on their modest home. These include having chipping paint on a downspout, not having a screen door on the rear entrance of their home, and having weeds growing in their vegetable garden. Sometimes they were even issued fines for not having their home “up to code” without explanation. They were even threatened with demolition and were forced to take out pay day loans to keep their head above water and make mandated repairs.

3. Profit Policing Discriminates Against Minorities– While Ferguson had a cash-starved municipal government, they were hardly a poor city. Its government could’ve easily solved their money problems by taxing local businesses, one of which is a Fortune 500 company that makes $24 billion a year. The fact Ferguson relied on cops and courts to extract fines and fees to generate revenue was the result of more than a century of public policy choices designed to protect largely white business and property owners while passing the bills along to disproportionately black renters and local residents. Given Ferguson’s extraordinary climate of police harassment, you can guess who got slapped with the fines. Despite that Ferguson is only 67% black and sees plenty of white commuters, 85% of all traffic stops involved black motorists and were twice as likely to be searched and arrested than their white counterparts. This despite when searched, whites were 2/3 more likely to be caught with some sort of contraband. Municipal violations for not mowing the lawn or putting out trash in the wrong place at the wrong time were overwhelmingly issued to blacks. 95% of citations for jaywalking and 93% if arrests were issued to blacks. We should also account that Ferguson’s mayor, city manager, and police chief were white. Minorities are more likely to live below the poverty line. And it’s not just in Ferguson, but in a lot of communities with white leaders and a large minority population. You might know the case of Philando Castile who was shot by a cop in St. Anthony, Minnesota. But you may not know was that this guy had been pulled over by police 52 times within the last 14 years of his life and accrued over $6,000 in fines. Now he must’ve been an epically bad driver or racially profiled on an average of once every 3 months. It’s very clear that St. Anthony relied on Castile’s and his black neighbors’ money to balance their budget. Brennan Center estimates that 10 million people owe more than $50 billion in debt due to their involvement in the criminal justice system. 60% of this total is owed by blacks and Latinos with average totals around $7,000. That said, when police need money, it’s usually minorities who suffer.

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This woman is Harriet Cleveland who couldn’t afford to pay her $152 fine in traffic violations that she ended up spending jail time. This despite that she tried all she can to pay for it, even going without food and utilities. Her story illustrates what happens when poor people can’t afford to pay their fines right away. It’s sad and very exploitative.

4. Profit Policing Screws the Poor– Whenever cities use municipal fines and fees to generate local revenue, the poorest residents usually suffer the most. Not only are often targeted by police like in Ferguson (since many are minorities), but they’re among the least likely to afford the fines. In 2014, 75% of all Ferguson residents had active outstanding arrest warrants. Most of these involved people who couldn’t afford to pay. According to Arch City Defenders, citizens failing to appear or pay fines that were “frequently triple their monthly income” were liable to be jailed, sometimes for as long as 3 weeks. Those with outstanding warrants were rendered ineligible for most forms of public assistance and government-provided social services. This combined with public housing exclusion, often send residents out on the streets. Municipalities can also compound financial hazards for those fined by contracting with private probation collectors who can add additional, legally enforceable fees and interest to the amount the court has required. It doesn’t help those who can’t pay fines, can lose their licenses along with their jobs.

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While running into a stop sign in California results in a $35 fine, the violator could end up paying up to $238 in Riverside County. This graph breaks it down.

5. Profit Policing Results in Higher Payments– This means that municipalities relying on fines to sustain their budgets might result in violators paying more money than originally owed. Even for a seemingly minor offense. This could happen in a number of ways:

  • Initially starting with a reasonable fine but tacking on surcharges and fees-For instance, a $35 fine for running a California stop sign can balloon into $238.00. San Diego is notorious for this since they could tack on as many as 10 surcharges with a $35 speeding ticket like a $40 state penalty assessment, $36 court penalty assessment, a $20 court construction fee, a $8 state surcharge, a $16 DNA identification, a $35 criminal conviction fee, a $40 court operations fee, a $4 emergency medical air transportation penalty, and $1 night court fee. All adding to $235.
  • Charging outrageous fines from the get go– Examples include charging $255.000 for driving over less than 25 miles over the speed limit, $500 for party noise, and $1000 on parents for juvenile graffiti. Some can consist of outrageous fines like $450 for stealing $5 of food.
  • Payment Plans– Those who can’t afford traffic tickets the first time may take this route in some states. But they can make paying off tickets more difficult and more expensive. In Illinois, people falling behind in payments can get hit with a 30% fee. And New Orleans charges $100 to start one.
  • Probation Fees– 44 states charge people various fees for being on probation. Many of these are handled by companies like Judicial Correction Services which charge a $10 set up fee and $140 per month. Those who couldn’t bring the entire amount had to report to JCS offices more frequently, sometimes multiple times a week. When people fell behind, JCS continued to collect its own fees which effectively extended their probations and guarantee the company more money. When people couldn’t pay, employees threatened to revoke their probation which resulted in jail time. It’s an unconscionable practice that should be outlawed.
  • Private Collectors– Not only they can collect on tickets but can add additional legally-enforceable fees and surcharges. They can also threaten people who don’t pay with jail. Sure they may charge the courts nothing. But they can charge people on probation a fortune.
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The town of Pagedale, Missouri is a notorious example on how profit policing can lead to ordinances allowing fines be issued for very ridiculous reasons. Its police force has aggressively targeted its citizens for harmless conditions like screen door holes, chipped paint, weeds in garden, mismatched drapes, high grass, and you name it. Let’s just say we know Pagedale issued ticketing on these ridiculous rules in order to fill its coffers. Basically its motto would be, “If you can’t ticket violations, invent them.”

6. Profit Policing Results in More Oppression and Hostility– Those who live in municipalities that depend on fines to balance budgets are more likely to be stopped by police and fined. Sometimes this could be for the usual traffic violation. But sometimes it could be for things people really shouldn’t be fined for. For instance, in Pagedale, Missouri, residents can be ticketed and fined for having mismatched curtains, walking on the left-hand side of a crosswalk, wearing pants below one’s waist, having holes in window screens, having a barbecue in front of the house, and more ridiculous ordinances that you can find in a wacky law listing. In Ferguson, 75% of its residents have outstanding arrest records. Municipalities with profit policing are more likely to have a more militarized force as well as higher police brutality against minorities.

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Policing for profit often creates distrust between law enforcement and communities. Because citizens being sponged are more likely to think that the system no longer works for them. And in a way, they’re right.

7. Profit Policing Leads to More Community Distrust- While trust between law enforcement and the public may be difficult without profit-driven policing practices, using fines to fund municipal governments erodes it even further. Police are sworn to protect the public and work with local communities to solve problems pertaining to crime and disorder. It’s one thing for cops to use excessive force on unarmed black people and get away with it due to systematic racism. But it’s even more unconscionable for cops to harass residents with absurd systems of fines and penalties on mostly extremely minor offenses. Making police revenue generators for cities and towns diverts them from their traditional role of community guardians and protectors. Not to mention, people have been taught to believe that local governments and police are supposed to work for them, not the other way around. Ferguson isn’t a feudal domain where police vassals can harass the peasantry as they please. Such actions lead to a growing distrust between the police and the community, especially among poor and minority citizens. And that’s not good.

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Here’s a diagram from Arch City Defenders on Ferguson’s terrible court system to its African American residents. Notice how it’s a vicious cycle and how the people in charge seem to be white. I think imprisonment for debt isn’t even legal.

8. Profit Policing May Not Be Legal– For many people below the poverty line, facing for being unable to pay a speeding ticket can be a very real possibility. Municipalities significantly funded through fines rely on judges to find people guilty and force them to pay or serve jail time. However, the federal government has already established that judges can’t send people to jail for being too poor to pay fine through a 1983 Supreme Court case. Furthermore, debtors’ prisons were outlawed nearly 200 years ago.

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Civil asset forfeiture is when police take your stuff on suspicion that it was used in a crime, which they can do whatever the hell they want with it. Though seen as a crime fighting tool, there have been so many cases where innocent people have had their stuff taken away from them. And many had a hell of a time getting it back through the court system. Here’s how hard it is to fight civil forfeiture.

9. Profit Policing Leads to Civil Forfeiture Abuse– Civil forfeiture is when police take people’s money and property without making an arrest. Under this, police don’t have to formally charge owners with a crime, just suspect their assets are tied in some way to illicit activity. And forfeiture is mostly approved without definitive proof of alleged criminal ties. Such property can include cars, homes, and even businesses. Yet, once government takes control of the person’s property, it’s typically sold off sending proceeds back to police departments and legal offices working the case. It’s regularly touted as a crime fighting tool like targeting wealthy criminal finances who may not carry all their cash in the same car. But since there’s a lot of booty potential for cops through civil forfeiture seizures, there’s a strong incentive to pursue this process aggressively and abuse these laws and exploit innocent owners’ lack of safeguards. This is especially true when a police department’s aim is the bottom line. Sometimes they could use it as a slush fund. In 2014, the Departments of Justice and Treasury deposited more than $5 billion into forfeiture funds, up from less than a $1 billion within the last decade. There are countless horror stories of law-abiding citizens who’ve gotten hopelessly entangled in the process. In a couple Texas border towns, it wasn’t unusual for police to pull over minority drivers before seizing whatever money and valuables in their possession. After that, they’d coerce them to sign their possessions over under forfeiture laws by threatening jail on trumped up charges or taking their children. And many must go through a complex legal maze to get it back. But due to lack of transparency and public reporting there’s not a lot of data to tell exactly how lucrative or common civil asset forfeiture is in each state. This has to be fairly common in places like Ferguson. Guess who ends up being victimized by this. Still, civil forfeiture is basically state sponsored theft and should be banned.

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Civil asset forfeiture has been frequently abused by police in recent years. The DOJ in 2014 lists money taken from civil asset forfeiture at $5 billion up from nearly $1 billion in 2004.

10. Profit Policing May Not Be Constitutional– The 8th Amendment bans cruel and unusual punishment as well as excessive bail and fines. Since profit policing can lead to higher fines and fees that people are unable to pay, it’s most likely unconstitutional. Since profit policing happens in minority communities, you can say it violates the Equal Protection Clause that bans discriminatory punishment as well as the Due Process Clause that requires neutral administration of criminal law. Then there’s civil forfeiture which I think is also unconstitutional under the 4th Amendment that protects citizens against unreasonable searches and seizures. So expect it in the Supreme Court.

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When police departments are more directed to raising municipal revenue, law enforcement accountability goes out the window. Not only that, but leaves bad cops on the streets free to extort money from poor minority citizens as they please. Or confiscate people’s stuff if they think it’s involved in a crime. Like this guy.

11. Profit Policing Hurts Police Accountability– I am aware that police accountability hasn’t been very good lately due to how cops who use excessive force against unarmed black people get away scot free. And I know every police force has its bad apples who make the good cops look bad. However, when budgetary whims replace peacekeeping as law enforcement’s central motivation, then you can forget about police accountability altogether. Because when a police department’s main aim is profit, bad cops are more likely to get away with bad behavior. Not just “bad” as in morally corrupt and racist, but also in a job performance sense. For instance, Ferguson’s Darren Wilson who shot Michael Brown was fired from a previous job. Actually the whole police force Jennings, Missouri was disbanded for being awful. Not to mention, in Ferguson police were even encouraged to ticket and collect fines as well as were rewarded for it in career advancement. The demands were so intense that the police department had little concern with how officers did this, just that they do it a lot. Didn’t matter if their stops had little relation to public safety or questionable legal basis. Didn’t matter if the cops in question were menaces to public safety. Only cops who failed to issue an average of 28 tickets a month were disciplined. I’m sure Darren Wilson wasn’t one of them. At the same time, white police officers frequently fixed parking tickets for friends. Let’s just say it leaves so much room for corruption. After the Brown shooting, the DOJ found the Ferguson Police Department to be an abysmal failure. They reported, ““Ferguson’s law enforcement practices are shaped by the City’s focus on revenue rather than by public safety needs. This emphasis on revenue has compromised the institutional character of Ferguson’s police department, contributing to a pattern of unconstitutional policing, and has also shaped its municipal court, leading to procedures that raise due process concerns and inflict unnecessary harm on members of the Ferguson community.”

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These are charts of St. Louis County municipalities with the biggest increases in non-traffic cases since 2010. Those who can’t afford to pay fines often have the system stacked against them. Meanwhile, the judges may often let their friends off easy.

12. Profit Policing Hurts Judicial Accountability– As we all know in scandals involving privatized prisons, whenever the courts’ aims is to increase revenue, the justice system is severely compromised. It is the same when it comes to municipal fines as well as “Cash for Kids.” Prior to the Michael Brown shooting, the city of Ferguson’s court system was ranged in the top 8 in Saint Louis County by generating more than $1 million in revenue during 2010. Their courts exceeded over $2 million in 2012. At the same time Ferguson Judge Ronald J. Brockmeyer owed $172,646 in back taxes and let his white friends off easy while extracting fees from Ferguson’s poor and black population. And many had the system rigged against them since they couldn’t afford a lawyer or pay a fine. Some even faced jail time. He’s had since been removed.

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What happened in Ferguson after Darren Wilson got off on shooting Michael Brown is a good example what could happen if a town has been under profit policing for far too long. This protest wasn’t just about police brutality they’ve put up for years but also on how often African Americans were exploited through other means. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

13. Profit Policing Hurts Public Safety– When revenue is the bottom line in profit policing, police departments focus more on issuing fines on petty offenses for municipal revenue than keeping people safe. It should surprise no one that some well-known police brutality victims were initially stopped for something preposterously minor. This illustrates how profit policing and law enforcement use of excessive force are clearly linked. North Charleston’s Walter Scott was stopped for a busted taillight before Michael Slager gunned him down. Having a busted taillight isn’t even in a crime in South Carolina. And this guy had a record for gratuitously using a taser. Sandra Bland and Samuel DuBose were stopped for minor traffic violations in Texas and Cincinnati like failing to use a turn signal or missing a front license plate. Philando Castile was also stopped for traffic violations for a whopping 53rd time. Wilson stopped Michael Brown for shoplifting and jaywalking. The thing is, when profit policing is in place, abuse is rampant while public safety is compromised. Communities distrust the police who they don’t think work for them. Some may even show a lack of respect for the law and may refuse to cooperate with police. Bad police are allowed to patrol on the streets with guns and may even get away with police brutality. Minorities and poor people are continuously screwed and preyed upon. It is no wonder that Ferguson, Missouri was one police shooting away from civil unrest. We have to accept that public safety depends on the community’s relationship with law enforcement. Municipalities can’t protect their populace if they’re using police to fleece from them since it creates a toxic environment.

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Here’s a letter from Ferguson’s mayor to one of the city’s policemen for his service. This pertains to him issuing tickets. Notice how they emphasized how he contributed to the city’s budget.

14. Profit Policing Corrupts Governments– Look, I know that many municipal governments use their police departments to enhance their coffers because they’re financially struggling and don’t want to raise taxes, especially when taxes would make more financial sense. However, when a government backs profit policing, they’re clearly not acting in the people’s best interests. This was certainly the case with Ferguson but other communities in Saint Louis County were demonstrably worse. Then there’s the fact many of these towns enacted ordinances just for the sake of generating more revenue through fines, especially if they’re unrelated to traffic and not technically illegal elsewhere. Ferguson’s were also skewed since their city manager congratulated the police chief for record citation revenue. While Ferguson’s cops held anti-black views so did their municipal employees as the DOJ found out through various e-mails mocking blacks through speech and familiar stereotypes. Most of Ferguson’s decisionmakers believed African Americans lacked personal responsibility despite that black residents made incredible efforts to pay their fines disproportionately handed out to them. White city officials meanwhile, condoned a striking lack of personal responsibility as the cause.

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Swedish Chef Worthy Muppet Treats

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There’s a lot to talk about food in the Muppets world. Sometimes the food can even talk, sing, and move like sentient beings. Even if they’re baked goods and vegetables. Really. Same goes when it comes to Sesame Street, especially when they’re trying to get kids to eat healthy. Don’t ask. Also, Hooper’s Store and Charlie’s are among Sesame Street’s premiere eating places. One serves as a resident hangout. The other is where Grover works as a waiter since he has ultimate job security despite massively sucking at customer service skills. I mean there was a sketch he basically ordered 6 cakes for a birthday party because he didn’t realize that the guests were referring to one person. Seriously. And that bald blue-headed customer is always complaining about him. On the Muppet Show we have the one and only Swedish Chef whose culinary endeavors always lead to some kind of cooking catastrophe. These include a turtle aiming at him with tank guns, being held up at gunpoint by lobsters, being attacked by spaghetti, being chased by a chicken wielding a cleaver, and more. He also uses a lot of unconventional kitchen implements like battle axes, blunderbusses, chainsaws, bazookas, and more. Off-screen, you’ll find plenty of Muppet treats out there mostly made for parties. So for your reading pleasure I give you a treasure trove of delectable Muppet treats. Enjoy.

  1. For a Rainbow Connection cake, this one of Kermit is perfect.
Of course, the rainbow in this cake is in the inside. Because that's the side that really counts.

Of course, the rainbow in this cake is in the inside. Because that’s the side that really counts.

2. These Sesame Street chocolates make it fun to learn your ABCs.

By the way, these are professionally made. But you wouldn't mind putting this cuteness in your mouth.

By the way, these are professionally made. But you wouldn’t mind putting this cuteness in your mouth.

3. If you love the Muppets, then take a look at this cake.

It's a cake of the Muppets onstage at the Muppet theater. You know where they do the show.

It’s a cake of the Muppets onstage at the Muppet theater. You know where they do the show.

4. This buttercream Beaker cake is a wondrous breakthrough in pastry creation.

Compared to some of the cakes you'll see here, this seems relatively easy. Mostly because Beaker has identifiable features and his shape.

Compared to some of the cakes you’ll see here, this seems relatively easy. Mostly because Beaker has identifiable features and his shape.

5. These Muppet bento lunches are a healthy treat.

These lunches consist of Kermit fruit snacks, Animal salad, and a Miss Piggy sandwich. So cute.

These lunches consist of Kermit fruit snacks, Animal salad, and a Miss Piggy sandwich. So cute.

6. A Beaker twinkie makes a great tasty snack.

This one even has him screaming with icing. Also, like Beaker, the twinkie probably has a lot of artificial preservatives by now.

This one even has him screaming with icing. Also, like Beaker, the twinkie probably has a lot of artificial preservatives by now.

7. Nothing makes a party a hit like these Muppet Show cookies.

Sure they may be professionally made. But they include all your favorites. Well, they should.

Sure they may be professionally made. But they include all your favorites. Well, they should.

8. This Miss Piggy bento lunch is sow fabulous.

It consists of a sandwich with pasta hair. Also bread ears and snout. But it surely resembles her.

It consists of a sandwich with pasta hair. Also bread ears and snout. But it surely resembles her.

9. Might want to take a bite out of this Electric Mayhem bus cake.

You might've seen the bus in the Muppet Movie. Also, I think the Electric Mayhem may be on the other side.

You might’ve seen the bus in the Muppet Movie. Also, I think the Electric Mayhem may be on the other side.

10. Seems like the Swedish Chef is on top of the pots with this cake.

Well, pots and pans. And they're all on top of an active burner. Love it.

Well, pots and pans. And they’re all on top of an active burner. Hope he doesn’t get, burnt, burnt, burnt.

11. This Muppet theater cake is simply a spectacle.

Yes, I know it's another Muppet Theater cake. But this one even has boxes for Statler and Waldorf. Also the Muppets are in action.

Yes, I know it’s another Muppet Theater cake. But this one even has boxes for Statler and Waldorf. Also the Muppets are in action.

12. Now that has to be a stellar Muppet cake display.

I think this might be for a wedding. Yet, the serving display has tiers featuring cupcakes of your favorite Muppet characters.

I think this might be for a wedding. Yet, the serving display has tiers featuring cupcakes of your favorite Muppet characters.

13. This Cookie Monster cake shows the lovable blue monster in cookie heaven.

Yes, Cookie Monster is in the cookie jar with his chocolate chip cookies. Hope he doesn't overdo it.

Yes, Cookie Monster is in the cookie jar with his chocolate chip cookies. Hope he doesn’t overdo it.

14. This Elmo pizza is pure lunch time fun.

Unlike in most pizzas, the sauce goes over the cheese. Yet at least the got his smile right.

Unlike in most pizzas, the sauce goes over the cheese. Yet at least the got his smile right.

15. If you’re hungry on the go, make it a Beaker wrap.

At least you don't have to put this in the oven. It even has carrot hair and a guacamole shirt and olive tie.

At least you don’t have to put this in the oven. It even has carrot hair and a guacamole shirt and olive tie.

16. This cake is about as trashy as Oscar the Grouch likes it.

Strangely it has a recycling symbol on it. But it has a lot of crap that Oscar will think as a fitting tribute to him.

Strangely it has a recycling symbol on it. But it has a lot of crap that Oscar will think as a fitting tribute to him.

17. If you like peanut butter, these Fozzie Bear cookies will make you say, “Wocka, Wocka.”

They're just peanut butter cookies shaped like Fozzie and decorated in his likeness. What more can you ask for?

They’re just peanut butter cookies shaped like Fozzie and decorated in his likeness. What more can you ask for?

18. As you may know, it’s not easy being the Green Lantern.

This cake has Kermit the Frog as the Green Lantern. Because being green kind of suits him. After all, he's a frog.

This cake has Kermit the Frog as the Green Lantern. Because being green kind of suits him. After all, he’s a frog.

19. If you’re not into superheroes, this Kermit cake will do.

It just has Kermit being his laid back self. Not minding anyone's business but his own.

It just has Kermit being his laid back self. Not minding anyone’s business but his own.

20. For more healthy options, try this Kermit fruit snack.

This Kermit has an apple head, a celery neck, and a beet mouth. But it's a real good likeness.

This Kermit has an apple head, a celery neck, and a beet mouth. But it’s a real good likeness.

21. Looks like Cookie Monster couldn’t resist what was in the cookie jar.

No wonder they have Sesame Street skits in which he has to learn self-control. Only to forget it shortly after. Because he's Cookie Monster.

No wonder they have Sesame Street skits in which he has to learn self-control. Only to forget it shortly after. Because he’s Cookie Monster.

22. For lunch, this Swedish Chef sandwich will make you say, “Bork, Bork, Bork!”

Has a bread face with bread crust beard and eyebrows. But his hat is made from tortilla. Enjoy.

Has a bread face with bread crust beard and eyebrows. But his hat is made from tortilla. Enjoy.

23. How would you like Animal to burst from the drum cake?

After all, Animal plays the drums. Guess this is for a kid's 10th birthday. Fair enough.

After all, Animal plays the drums. Guess this is for a kid’s 10th birthday. Fair enough.

24. Speaking of Animal, this Electric Mayhem cake rocks.

And they all seem to be tired after a show on the road. Then again, this group was modeled after 1960s and 1970s rock bands.

And they all seem to be tired after a show on the road. Then again, this group was modeled after 1960s and 1970s rock bands.

25. These Cookie Monster cupcakes look good enough to eat.

I especially like hoe they have cookies coming out of his mouth. That's very ingenious and touching to everyone's favorite junk food hound.

I especially like hoe they have cookies coming out of his mouth. That’s very ingenious and touching to everyone’s favorite junk food hound.

26. How about a cake of Gonzo the Great?

You know the daredevil with a chicken fetish. Don't worry, his relationship with Camilla is of mutual love and respect.

You know the daredevil with a chicken fetish. Don’t worry, his relationship with Camilla is of mutual love and respect.

27. For the curmudgeon who has nothing nice to say, you might want to celebrate their birthday with a cake of Statler and Waldorf.

Sure Statler and Waldorf are mean old men. But at least their insults are always PG rated. Gotta love these guys.

Sure Statler and Waldorf are mean old men. But at least their insults are always PG rated. Gotta love these guys.

28. For Muppet Show lovers, this is a great cake for you.

After all, this shows how the Muppets are introduced. Even Statler and Waldorf who are usually in the audience.

After all, this shows how the Muppets are introduced. Even Statler and Waldorf who are usually in the audience.

29. Nothing makes a great Sesame Street party like these fruit platters.

This has a kiwi Oscar, a pineapple Bert, a watermelon Elmo, and an orange Ernie. Well, at least those are the prominent fruits on their trays.

This has a kiwi Oscar, a pineapple Bert, a watermelon Elmo, and an orange Ernie. Well, at least those are the prominent fruits on their trays.

30. These Kermit rainbow fruit kabobs will help kids establish a healthy rainbow connection.

This one has Kermit as an apple centerpiece. But it's still a delightful Muppet platter.

This one has Kermit as an apple centerpiece. But it’s still a delightful Muppet platter.

31. For growing brains, this Sesame Street lunch makes learning fun.

This one includes rice balls of Bert, Ernie, Big Bird, Oscar, Elmo, and Cookie Monster. And they're surrounded by salad.

This one includes rice balls of Bert, Ernie, Big Bird, Oscar, Elmo, and Cookie Monster. And they’re surrounded by salad.

32. Cookie Monster fudge makes a delectable dessert to violently gorge for.

These are in light blue and have cookies in them. Cookie Monster would be touched.

These are in light blue and have cookies in them. Cookie Monster would be touched.

33. No one could resist this Muppet toy box cake.

This one only consists of the main Muppets along with Elmo and Cookie Monster. But it's nonetheless adorable.

This one only consists of the main Muppets along with Elmo and Cookie Monster. But it’s nonetheless adorable.

34. A singing Kermit under a rainbow always makes a great cake.

Like how it says, "Life is fun when you're having flies!" Well, to a frog. To a human not so much.

Like how it says, “Life is fun when you’re having flies!” Well, to a frog. To a human not so much.

35. Hope this bento lunch doesn’t make you grouchy.

Nice Oscar consists of a salad of leafy greens. Slimey even has his own trash can.

Nice Oscar consists of a salad of leafy greens. Slimey even has his own trash can.

36. If you like Fozzie Bear, then these Rice Krispie treats will suit your fancy.

These seem to resemble him more than the peanut butter cookies. Like the icing face though.

These seem to resemble him more than the peanut butter cookies. Like the icing face though.

37. Speaking of Rice Krispie treats, you can’t resist these ones from Sesame Street.

Includes Cookie Monster, Oscar, and Elmo. Each has a cookie mouth. Though Elmo and Oscar have Oreo for black.

Includes Cookie Monster, Oscar, and Elmo. Each has a cookie mouth. Though Elmo and Oscar have Oreo for black.

38. This Kermit might remind an old frog of home.

After all, Kermit is a swamp frog from the American South. So playing a banjo makes sense though he doesn't have an accent.

After all, Kermit is a swamp frog from the American South. So playing a banjo makes sense though he doesn’t have an accent.

39. Help yourself to some Animal pasta salad.

Well, it's the only kind of pasta with pink noodles. Just to match Animal's fur.

Well, it’s the only kind of pasta with pink noodles. Just to match Animal’s fur.

40. For lunch time delights, this Swedish Chef bento has all the trimmings.

This one includes a Swedish Chef sandwich and chicken eggs. Seems he wants to cook them both.

This one includes a Swedish Chef sandwich and chicken eggs. Seems he wants to cook them both.

41. This Piggy pasta salad will make you go hog wild.

Doesn't hurt it includes ham. Or does it? Like how they used noodles for her hair though.

Doesn’t hurt it includes ham. Or does it? Like how they used noodles for her hair though.

42. If you liked the Dark Crystal, take a look at this cake.

It's one of those cult movies that feature Muppets in high fantasy. But I include this since it's part of Jim Henson's repertoire.

It’s one of those cult movies that feature Muppets in high fantasy. But I include this since it’s part of Jim Henson’s repertoire.

43. Swedish Chef fans would appreciate a cake of the cook in his kitchen.

Of course, the Swedish Chef's kitchen environment makes Gordon Ramsay's look tame. Then again, I'm sure if constant insults is better than a turtle shell tank or armed lobsters.

Of course, the Swedish Chef’s kitchen environment makes Gordon Ramsay’s look tame. Then again, I’m sure if constant insults is better than a turtle shell tank or armed lobsters.

44. These Muppet bon bons are a small delight.

They're all just sitting up around a candy. Not sure if they're cakes. But these are cute.

They’re all just sitting up around a candy. Not sure if they’re cakes. But these are cute.

45. A Sesame Street lunch like this is great for sunny days.

Seems of the bento box variety. Yet, though Ernie is made from rice, Bert is made from corn. Like the flowers, too.

Seems of the bento box variety. Yet, though Ernie is made from rice, Bert is made from corn. Like the flowers, too.

46. No dessert platter is complete without these Muppet cake pops.

Includes Beaker, Fozzie, Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Rowlf. And I hope each one has a chocolate center.

Includes Beaker, Fozzie, Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Rowlf. And I hope each one has a chocolate center.

47. No one can resist the sight of Gonzo eyeing spaghetti.

Yes, you have to look at Gonzo's big eyes as he holds up a knife and fork. Adorable.

Yes, you have to look at Gonzo’s big eyes as he holds up a knife and fork. Adorable.

48. Learn letters and numbers with these Sesame Street cake pops.

Includes Oscar, Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Big Bird. And each looks good enough to eat.

Includes Oscar, Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Big Bird. And each looks good enough to eat.

49. Fans of Fraggle Rock will fall in love with this cake.

For a show that came in the 1980s, it has a strange pop culture presence to this day. Yet, I'm not familiar with it.

For a show that came in the 1980s, it has a strange pop culture presence to this day. Yet, I’m not familiar with it.

50. For appetizers, these Sesame Street snack platters shall serve you well.

There's broccoli Oscar, strawberry Elmo, blueberry Cookie Monster, and cheddar cheese Big Bird. Like how Big Bird's nose is made from Ritz crackers.

There’s broccoli Oscar, strawberry Elmo, blueberry Cookie Monster, and cheddar cheese Big Bird. Like how Big Bird’s nose is made from Ritz crackers.

51. No Muppet party is complete without a Scooter cheese ball.

Like how his hair is made from baby carrots. And how his glasses are made from cucumber slices.

Like how his hair is made from baby carrots. And how his glasses are made from cucumber slices.

52. This Muppet totem pole cake will make your party tops.

Not sure about the concept behind this. But I think it's quite original to say the least.

Not sure about the concept behind this. But I think it’s quite original to say the least.

53. These Sesame Street cupcakes are a tasty treat.

I'm sure these are professionally made with the detail. But these do consist on some of the best characters save for the Count.

I’m sure these are professionally made with the detail. But these do consist on some of the best characters save for the Count.

54. There’s nothing healthier for a midday meal than a Beaker sandwich.

Helps it has a lot of fruit and veggies in it. Not sure about the shaved orange nose though.

Helps it has a lot of fruit and veggies in it. Not sure about the shaved orange nose though.

55. No child can ever resist the Elmo bento lunch.

Well, if they're pre-schoolers, anyway. Still, like how it has 2 small buns. Adorable.

Well, if they’re pre-schoolers, anyway. Still, like how it has 2 small buns. Adorable.

56. If you liked Rowlf the Dog, then this is the cake for you.

Here he is at a white piano and in a white suit. But he's still typical Rowlf.

Here he is at a white piano and in a white suit. But he’s still typical Rowlf.

57. Fraggle Rock fans will find these cupcakes delightful.

Once again, I'm just including this to pander. Because I'm not familiar with Fraggle Rock which aired in the 1980s.

Once again, I’m just including this to pander. Because I’m not familiar with Fraggle Rock which aired in the 1980s.

58. For Sesame Street fans, a cake like this is simply whimsical.

Of course, this isn't a cake you'd see at most kids' birthdays. Unless their parents are in the 1%.

Of course, this isn’t a cake you’d see at most kids’ birthdays. Unless their parents are in the 1%.

59. These Kermit and Fozzie lunches are great midday delights.

Nice that Kermit's has a rainbow for "Rainbow Connection." Fozzie's is barely recognizable.

Nice that Kermit’s has a rainbow for “Rainbow Connection.” Fozzie’s is barely recognizable.

60. Grace your dessert platter with this Ernie and Bert bed cake.

Boy, would some people on the Christian Right go nuts on this one. Though Bert and Ernie usually sleep in separate beds.

Boy, would some people on the Christian Right go nuts on this one. Though Bert and Ernie usually sleep in separate twin beds with their names on them.

61. Wake up in the morning to some Kermit pancakes.

Doesn't necessarily resemble Kermit. But, hey, it's not easy being green.

Doesn’t necessarily resemble Kermit. But, hey, it’s not easy being green.

62. For a more Latin flair, try a Kermit quesadilla.

However, if you live in the US, proceed to try one with caution south of the border. Since it might make you turn green. No offense, Mexico.

However, if you live in the US, proceed to try one with caution south of the border. Since it might make you turn green. No offense, Mexico.

63. These Muppet cupcakes are surely just desserts.

Of course, you can't help but love these. But each cupcake is unique in its own way.

Of course, you can’t help but love these. But each cupcake is unique in its own way.

64. For baby showers, a cake with Bunsen and Beaker is none too shabby.

Though babies are much easier than any of their inventions. At least they don't have mechanical glitches that lead to Beaker getting hurt all the time.

Though babies are much easier than any of their inventions. At least they don’t have mechanical glitches that lead to Beaker getting hurt all the time.

65. Raise healthy kids with these Sesame Street fruit snacks.

Includes, Ernie, Bert, and Elmo. Not sure about Elmo having kiwi eyes. Makes him look like a loon.

Includes, Ernie, Bert, and Elmo. Not sure about Elmo having kiwi eyes. Makes him look like a loon.

66. This Elmo spaghetti is always a hit with the little ones.

Doesn't hurt that Elmo's face can be done on top of tomato sauce. Like the olive mouth.

Doesn’t hurt that Elmo’s face can be done on top of tomato sauce. Like the olive mouth.

67. This Kermit bento lunch is fit for any amphibian.

Includes Kermit's face on an apple as well as some pasta for the background. Not to mention, cheese.

Includes Kermit’s face on an apple as well as some pasta for the background. Not to mention, cheese.

68. These Muppet cookies each have a different color.

Sure they may be professionally made. But each has some degree of character. Like the Swedish Chef's having a food border.

Sure they may be professionally made. But each has some degree of character. Like the Swedish Chef’s having a food border.

69. These Ernie and Bert cake pops simply belong together.

Yet, both seem to have noses the same color as their skin. On the show Bert has an orange nose while Ernie has a red one.

Yet, both seem to have noses the same color as their skin. On the show Bert has an orange nose while Ernie has a red one.

70. No one can resist these delectable Sesame Street cupcakes.

Almost each of these has an Oreo mouth. Included are Oscar, the Count, Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Big Bird.

Almost each of these has an Oreo mouth. Included are Oscar, the Count, Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Big Bird.

71. This Bunsen and Beaker cake is a work of genius.

After all, it includes elements from the Periodic Table as well as atomic structures. Perfect for science geeks.

After all, it includes elements from the Periodic Table as well as atomic structures. Perfect for science geeks.

72. This Muppet cake is a strip of many colors.

Well, it's not exactly a rainbow. But it's quite cool to behold.

Well, it’s not exactly a rainbow. But it’s quite cool to behold.

73. This burning Beaker cake is explosively fun.

Unless you're Beaker. Because you know what usually happens to him at Muppet Labs.

Unless you’re Beaker. Because you know what usually happens to him at Muppet Labs.

74. With a cake like this, you’d almost think Kermit is carried away.

Well, it features Kermit with a bunch of other Muppet balloons. By the way, there's a 3D version of this one.

Well, it features Kermit with a bunch of other Muppet balloons. By the way, there’s a 3D version of this one.

75. Seemed like something spilled on this cake.

This one might be a wedding cake from how I can tell Kermit and Miss Piggy are dressed. Also, what's with the strawberries.

This one might be a wedding cake from how I can tell Kermit and Miss Piggy are dressed. Also, what’s with the strawberries?

76. These Cookie Monster cake pops should make a fine addition to any dessert platter.

Like how these have a cookie stuck in his mouth. That's just so perfect.

Like how these have a cookie stuck in his mouth. That’s just so perfect.

77. For Muppet cakes, you might consider a customized option.

After all, this Muppet girl is just a Muppet girl. Don't remember seeing her from any Jim Henson franchise.

After all, this Muppet girl is just a Muppet girl. Don’t remember seeing her from any Jim Henson franchise.

78. This Muppet Rushmore cake seems almost set in stone.

Well, it's a Muppet Mount Rushmore one. Never seen anything like that before.

Well, it’s a Muppet Mount Rushmore one. Never seen anything like that before.

79. A cake like this is bound to take anyone to the air.

You see I was right about the 3D version. But I'm not sure how making a cake like this is plausible.

You see I was right about the 3D version. But I’m not sure how making a cake like this is plausible.

80. For Sesame Street parties, you can’t go wrong with Oscar’s trash cans.

It's basically chocolate pudding with Oreos on top. Still, these are very creative if you ask me.

It’s basically chocolate pudding with Oreos on top. Still, these are very creative if you ask me.

81. This Big Bird lunch is anything to chirp about.

Best served with a birdseed milkshake as Big Bird would've preferred. Cute.

Best served with a birdseed milkshake as Big Bird would’ve preferred. Cute.

82. Grace your dessert platter with these unique Sesame Street cupcakes.

Another set of expensive pastries done by professionals. But their icing sculptures are worth noting.

Another set of expensive pastries done by professionals. But their icing sculptures are worth noting.

83. Seems like Kermit’s notes have character.

Took me awhile to figure this cake out. But once I realized these were music notes, it seemed to make more sense.

Took me awhile to figure this cake out. But once I realized these were music notes, it seemed to make more sense.

84. These food faces of Bert and Ernie bring all smiles.

Not sure if these are for eating. But I like how Bert has the top of a pineapple as hair. The licorice lips are also clever.

Not sure if these are for eating. But I like how Bert has the top of a pineapple as hair. The licorice lips are also clever.

85. This Cookie Monster Macaroon will make you go nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

Has sugar sprinkles on for super fuzziness. Like how he has the cookie in his mouth. Brilliant.

Has sugar sprinkles on for super fuzziness. Like how he has the cookie in his mouth. Brilliant.

86. With these Kermit cupcakes, the eyes have it.

If you want Constantine cupcakes, all you have to do is put a chocolate chip on it. Still, like the marshmallow frog eyes.

If you want Constantine cupcakes, all you have to do is put a chocolate chip on it. Still, like the marshmallow frog eyes.

87. Even Cookie Monster would adore these Sesame Street cookies.

Yes, they may be made from a bakery. But they have letters and numbers as well as characters. These are adorable.

Yes, they may be made from a bakery. But they have letters and numbers as well as characters. These are adorable.

88. If you’re more into chocolate, these Sesame Street brownie bites should do nicely.

Includes Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Bert. And each brownie has its own cup.

Includes Cookie Monster, Elmo, and Bert. And each brownie has its own cup.

89. A Beaker cookie pop is a treat for the future.

Well, he has nice pretzel hair in orange icing. Not sure what the cookie is underneath.

Well, he has nice pretzel hair in orange icing. Not sure what the cookie is underneath.

90. If you like Cookie Monster, then you’ll like these Oreos.

These consist of a cookie covered in icing eating another cookie. What more can you ask for. Love it.

These consist of a cookie covered in icing eating another cookie. What more can you ask for. Love it.

91. Don’t look now, but Cookie Monster is eating the cookie cake!

Don't worry, this is part of the cake. However, if it was real, Cookie Monster would probably reduce it to crumbs.

Don’t worry, this is part of the cake. However, if it was real, Cookie Monster would probably reduce it to crumbs.

92. This Kermit fruit tray gives you a healthy rainbow connection.

Since he's the one who sings about rainbows in the Muppet Movie. But his head always has to be in the center.

Since he’s the one who sings about rainbows in the Muppet Movie. But his head always has to be in the center.

93. If you like fuzzy red monsters, then you’ll adore this Elmo cake.

Even has Elmo near the presents. Certainly a birthday cake for a little kid. So cute.

Even has Elmo near the presents. Certainly a birthday cake for a little kid. So cute.

94. This Sesame Street cake comes stacked.

Has Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and Elmo tiers. But Oscar the Grouch is on top.

Has Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and Elmo tiers. But Oscar the Grouch is on top.

95. This Big Bird cake will surely have you tickled yellow.

Well, Big Bird is the face of Sesame Street. Yet, here he is with his legs spread out to wish someone a happy birthday.

Well, Big Bird is the face of Sesame Street. Yet, here he is with his legs spread out to wish someone a happy birthday.

96. Speaking of Big Bird, here he is receiving a cake from Prairie Dawn.

I think this was featured in a show on the Food Network. Still, Big Bird looks so lifelike here.

I think this was featured in a show on the Food Network. Still, Big Bird looks so lifelike here.

97. Make a super birthday super great with this Super Grover cake.

Sure Super Grover doesn't beat up any bad guys or save the day. But he's super cute so that should count.

Sure Super Grover doesn’t beat up any bad guys or save the day. But he’s super cute so that should count.

98. A Miss Piggy cake should always bring out one’s inner glamorpuss.

This might be derived from a photo of her in a black dress. But yes, she's sow fabulous.

This might be derived from a photo of her in a black dress. But yes, she’s sow fabulous.

99. Animal fans would love seeing a cake of him at his drum set.

After all, Animal is the drummer for the Electric Mayhem. Though off-stage he's a real animal.

After all, Animal is the drummer for the Electric Mayhem. Though off-stage he’s a real animal.

100. For a Muppet wedding cake, the whole gang has got to be there.

Well, all the main Muppets are in the audience. Save for the Swedish Chef and the chicken. Amazing.

Well, all the main Muppets are in the audience. Save for the Swedish Chef and the chicken. Amazing.