Yes, they actually have this. Well, they have several of these whether you like it or not. However, I don’t know about you, but I really don’t think the Virgin Mary should be depicted with blond hair. That’s just my opinion.

Because nothing’s more unholy to Jesus than having bad breath. Even though Jesus and his disciples probably had halitosis all the time. So, yes, Jesus saves your breath with minty freshness.

Yes, you see this Jesus is My Coach everywhere. However, I’m sure Jesus never traveled farther from his local Palestine in his life. So how he’d know karate is beyond me.

Man, this would go great with my velvet Jesus painting. Yeah, I’m sure this would be what you see on a Catholic church in Las Vegas.

On second thought, I’ll take my chances in the dark without this. Seriously, this is the creepiest night light I’ve ever seen. I mean Jesus’s face is just a large eyeball. Why?

I don’t know about you, but do you see anything wrong with making a Jesus pez dispenser like this? I mean the image of him bleeding from a crown of thorns really is nothing to commercialize like this. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

Now I wonder how that’s possible. Yes, it’s tacky but it seems like a feat in electronics that hasn’t been repeated.

For some reason, I find a pink neon crucifix kind of disrespectful to the moment it’s supposed to depict. Then again, I suppose anything goes in Vegas.

Is is just me or do I find baby Jesus on this shirt unintentionally creepy? Seriously, I think this is pretty tasteless on divine levels.

Then again, maybe a Jesus light switch isn’t a good idea. I mean look at its placement for God’s sake. Doesn’t help that he has his arms around the children.

Yes, these are Virgin Mary KISS heads. I know they may be offensive to some people like my grandmother. But still, these are hilarious.

Now this is just so wrong since Jesus did say, “whoever lives with the sword, dies with the sword.” Such displays would make Pope Francis shudder. But it’s simply hysterical. “No more Mr. Nice Jesus” indeed.

Now I know there are children buried in cemeteries and their markers are unsettling enough. However, this one really seems to scare the living hell out of me. And it’s not because Jesus is holding the swing and can’t be seen by the waist down.

Now why would anyone want a blender light in general is beyond me. Let alone any blender light that looks like Jesus. Seriously, why?

Hey, Christians aren’t the only ones who have religious kitsch. If you’re a Jew reading this, feel free to talk about the cat’s significance to Hanukkah in the comments section. Because I have absolutely no clue.

I think I might’ve seen this on either The Daily Show or The Colbert Report. Listen, Jews, if you want your kiddies to learn about Passover, I think it would be better to show them The Ten Commandments. It’s on the Saturday before Easter which coincides with Passover anyway. Finger puppets of plagues is kind of disturbing if you ask me.

Of course, this is an example of false advertising. It may wash away the blood from your hands. But it won’t wash away the guilt you feel in your heart. Just ask Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment.

Since I attend Mass once a week, I’m aware that Catholics have their own form of Praise! Aerobics like stand, sit, stand, kneel, stand, knell, sit, stand, and so on. So this is probably something released by Protestants.

I’m sure Mary will keep your data safe with her. Of course, I’d suggest you’d go with something like a holier than thou external hard drive. But if you like the iconography, that’s fine, too.

Actually, I think this might be an Israel Troll Doll. But since it has a Star of David on it and Israel is a significant place for Jews, why not? Besides, troll dolls are pretty tacky to say the least.

Now this is actually quite cute. Of course, I’m sure he doesn’t allow cuddles on the Sabbath. It is a day of rest.

Well, I did show a rubber ducky nativity scene in 2013. So it’s only fair that I try to be inclusive. Besides, if I find Hindu god rubber duckies, I’ll show that, too.

I’ve seen that they had stuff like this in in earlier centuries. However, the disembodied hand with icons coming from the fingers kind of gives me the creeps. And the stigmata marks aren’t helping either.

Doesn’t look submissive to me. More like on the verge of a nervous break down. Seriously, why?

Apparently, Jews seem to really love M&Ms. How else could you explain this? Wonder if they have an M&M nativity scene.

Note: Image is a European artistic representation and may not be in the actual likeness of Jesus. Remember that Jesus was a Palestinian Jew and probably looked more like someone who’s likely to get special TSA attention at your regular American airport.

Yes, boy and Jesus praying on one side. Pinup Christian woman baring her cleavage on the other. And this was before Madonna’s rise to fame in the 1980s.

Now I’m sure this is a stuffed animal for Hanukkah. However, doesn’t explain why the dreidels seem to be dancing on his head.

Of course, I’m not sure if a kid will be beat up at school for a backpack like this. But something in Jesus’s terrifying eyes tells me that you might not want to mess with him. Stop, Jesus, you’re creeping me out.

Now I find this Jesus very scary as well. Makes me wonder whether he’s about to take your soul. Yeah, sometimes artistic representations tend to have rather unfortunate implications.

Now that’s a scene that will make Leonardo Da Vinci roll in his grave. Of course, my sister loathes this guy. So anything by Thomas Kinkade automatically counts as kitsch in this post or any post for that matter.

Bet this pontiff didn’t think he was going to have his own fragrance line. Still, the thought of a Pope having his own cologne just makes me baffled. Seriously, why?

Now I might not find it tasteful. But I think this Jesus pill box is quite clever and pretty funny. Like to see stuff that don’t take themselves too seriously.

Love how they have “Seek and ye Shall Find Common Tainted Sin Zones.” These include cars, bars, bedrooms, bathrooms, TV rooms, church buses, kitchens, office, confessionals, granny’s house, roadside motels, and dorm rooms. Don’t know why they have granny’s house or confessionals. Wouldn’t think you’d find sin there.

Sorry, Malachi, but you can’t collect $200 if you have to go directly to jail. And no, Elijah, you can’t put a house on Nazareth because it’s mine, goddammit! And the Bethlehem Railroad’s mine, too. Got it?

Not sure what all those characters are supposed to be. However, I’m sure this isn’t something that’s based on the hit Broadway musical. Yeah, I’m not very familiar with Mormonism.

Now I really don’t know what to make of this. Seriously, how many kids would actually wear that? Well, there are those from families like the Duggars. But other than them? I mean these pjs look so stupid that they almost border on sacrilege.

Now this is just genius. After all, we’ve heard all sorts of things about Christ appearing on toasted bread. Maybe people should take advantage of this.

There’s Rodeo Jesus, Soccer Jesus, Motorcycle Jesus, Homeless Jesus, and Football Jesus. Collect them all. Still, talk about ridiculous.

Well, I had a Jesus Soap on a Rope for my soaps post. So I might as well have one of the Pope. However, I don’t think this one is of Pope Francis though. Then again, I’m not sure if I want rub the pontiff on my armpits.

Now this is very disturbing. Is that Jesus from the chest up or Jesus sitting Indian style? I can’t be sure. Still, it’s freaky as hell.

Why would anyone want these? Seriously, these are tacky beyond measure. I can’t even describe the divine tackiness here.

Of course, if I had these, the only place I’d wear them would be at some nudist resort. And that would be for a joke. Man, I wonder who comes up with these ideas.

Now depicting Saint Sebastian as a Ken Doll seems pretty disrespectful. Also tends to bear some resemblance to Justin Bieber which doesn’t help at all. And he seems to be smiling, too. Oh, and there’s the rainbow packaging.

Hmmm…a Christian video game. It’s called, “Bibleman: A Fight for Faith.” Wonder how much un-Christian stuff is in this. Like violence. Also, looks like some video game take off from some 1990s cartoon.

Yes, this is is a Buddha phone. It has jade for a video button as well as Buddhist symbols on its edges. Yeah, it’s kind of over the top for a faith founded by a guy who preached moderation.

Okay, I really don’t want to sit on Jesus’s lap. Especially if it’s in a chair like this that doesn’t look very comfortable. And it’s rather freaky.

Now I can understand the cross fixture on this. But I’m not sure about Mary having angel wings. Still, wonder if any of the monks at Saint Vincent has one of these.

Yes, ties have all sorts of tacky stuff on them. These are no exception. Yet, I can’t decide which one is more ridiculous.

Oh, my God. This is just so insensitive that it’s not even funny. Seriously, who the hell thought these were a good idea should burn in to the hellfire inferno. For the love of god, why? Sweet Jesus, why?

Yes, eat more of this and you’ll see more of Jesus on the cross as a popsicle stick. Now I’m sure this isn’t in a very holy taste.

Now this is just crazy. As if Jesus toaster couldn’t be any more ridiculous. This takes it to another hilarious level.

Now this might seem quite pretty. But having it in lime and neon green, not so much. I mean it’s as tacky as hell.

I’m not sure if I’d call a cat zen. Not only that, but Buddhists tend to be seen as vegetarians. And cats are seen as obligate carnivores so making one veg is animal abuse.

Not sure if such motif is appropriate for The Last Supper. Though tacky it is, it has a certain charm that everything that Thomas Kinkade ever did.

Yes, these are Buddhist ornaments. And yes, Christmas is a Christian holiday. But then again, Christmas is a popular holiday so anything goes. But I see the irony here.

Lord knows what the Last Supper would’ve been like had the apostles drank this highly alcoholic Japanese rice wine. Yes, sake is very strong stuff.

Now like I said before, kiddie statues in cemeteries are creepy. And I think this cemetery Jesus is even creepier than the last one I’ve shown in this post. No, kiddies, don’t go to Jesus. Grow up, have a life, and grow old and gray first.

Anytime I see gun use in religious crap, I will put it on this post. I don’t care what faith it’s from. Religion and gunplay simply just don’t mix in my book.

Now an ashtray to shame smokers with Jesus’s likeness. If I have smokers in my house, I’d really want to get this.

I’m sure this isn’t wine made from the grapes of Galilee. Hell, I don’t know if Galilee currently has any vineyards. However, they do make wine in California though. It’s probably from there.

Yes, you can make your own Jesus imprinted grilled cheese sandwiches with this. You just won’t get featured on the news for it. Kind of crazy if you ask me.

Of course, if I see anyone with a hip flask like this, I’d guess they’re fairly religious and really need to appeal to a higher power. And I don’t mean that way. I mean the Twelve-Step or AA. Seriously, you really need help.

Now when I go to church, I usually wear my trademark hat and whatever else that I’m wearing. Because I know that God doesn’t give a shit on what I look like. Still, you’ll lose this before you finish it.

I’m sure this isn’t bound to help you in a knife fight. Not to mention, you can’t really stab someone with such weapon. Then again, I may be wrong.

Uh, somehow seeing Jesus Ken smiling during his crucifixion kind of offense me. For God’s sake, Mattel, at least show the guy suffering under immense pain! His last words (among them) were, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Not, “Always look on the bright side of life.”

Ever get the impression that some Jews are trying to make Hanukkah as much like Christmas as possible. Guess they don’t want their kids to be bummed about not celebrating it. Still, this is just too much.

So you Jewish kids only get 8 gifts for each night of Hanukkah. But at least you get to play a dreidel game involving gambling. So it all ain’t that bad.

Man, someone must really not had a great experience in Catholic school. Then again, I’m sure the nuns would be offended by this. I know it’s pretty tacky and perpetuates negative stereotypes.

Okay, I’m sure no kid would want a paper doll book depicting the life and clothes of Pope John Paul II. Seriously, a Virgin Mary paper doll book would be more popular than this. At least she’d have a more diverse wardrobe.

Okay, Kali isn’t that bad of a goddess in the Hindu pantheon. However, I’m sure she looks pretty silly with her tongue sticking out on this statue.

Yes, Buddy Christ is certainly a classic religious kitsch item, indeed. He’s also among the most amusing as well. Yeah, I can’t help but like this one.

Just because he’s a well known saint who got more arrows shot in his body than Boromir, doesn’t mean you should commemorate his martyrdom with a pin cushion. Seriously, this is fucked up for God’s sake. I mean why?

As far as kitsch goes, I might as well have a whole post of religious kitsch stuff. However, I’ll spare those horrors from my little sister Molly. Don’t want to cause too much pain. And Jesus is going up to heaven like a rocket.

On second thought, don’t. Seriously, I don’t know if I should be insulted with seeing the Madonna and Child on a pair of skimpy underwear. But I’m shocked that somebody would ever think it was a good idea.

Now this looks pretty ridiculous and incredibly tacky. But somehow there may be Buddhists who seem to buy it. Of course, some might be a fan of The Smurfs.

For some reason, I don’t equate Satan worship with cute kittens. Then again, to each his own. Still, these are too funny to ignore for this post. But I’m sure there are plenty of cat lovers who worship Satan out there.

It’s one of the best state of the art Christian weapons since the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Still, I think this is more of a ceramic sculpture and might not work. Still, since it associates Christianity with firearms, I’m putting it on this post.

Apparently, Ken may seem enlightened but he also seems a bit too European for Buddha. Also, the man bun looks very atrocious on him.

Of course, Jesus tended to heal the sick without using these. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy these. And yes, they’re utterly ridiculous as hell. But that’s beside the point.