The Domestic Servants of Downton Abbey: Part 4-The Maids

Maid: A general female domestic worker whose cheap job at Downton Abbey is to clean the interior rooms, add intrigue to the plot, and either be promoted to a better job or disappear from the show entirely. Seriously, maids don't last very long on this show for some reason.

Maid: A general female domestic worker whose cheap job at Downton Abbey is to clean the interior rooms, add intrigue to the plot, and either be promoted to a better job or disappear from the show entirely once the writers are done with them. Seriously, maids don’t last very long on this show for some reason.

Of course, I couldn’t do a series on Downton Abbey servants without including a post about another very recognizable domestic servant in popular culture: the maid. Now with the exception of Anna, they don’t seem to last long on the show for some reason or another, whether it be getting a job as a secretary, getting knocked up by a major, being threatened to resign for getting into Branson’s pants, or getting to close to the Earl of Grantham, in a creepy non-platonic sense. And if you’re Anna, chances are you’ll hang up that white apron once Lady Mary hires you as a lady’s maid and you become the second Mrs. Bates. Nevertheless, if the script calls for a disposable female domestic worker, I’m sure a maid will fit the bill since they’re basically the Downton Abbey equivalent to Star Trek TOS redshirts (except they don’t usually die). Still, their work amount could vary from household to household. In grand estates, they were under the housekeeper’s supervision and usually charged with cleaning or doing whatever their specialization required them whether they were a chamber maid, house maid, parlor maid, still room maid, storeroom maid, or in between maid. In houses where she’s the only domestic employee, she did everything and her life would be incredibly lonely. Still, they were very prone to unwanted sexual attention sometimes sexual assault. If they got married or pregnant, then they could be out of a job without a great character reference. And in those days, to be unemployed was to be considered a bum, if you were poor. So without further adieu, here are the many kinds of maids you would’ve seen at Downton Abbey.

1. Housekeeper

Housekeeper: At Downton Abbey, this job goes to a no nonsense, sensible, and motherly middle aged Scottish woman lower members usually tell their secrets to (even those they wouldn't tell their own spouses). Isn't afraid of rapists but if you're a maid don't have he catch you having sex or getting into Branson's pants. Should totally get together with the butler, seriously.

Housekeeper: At Downton Abbey, this job goes to a no nonsense, sensible, and motherly middle aged Scottish woman lower members usually tell their secrets to (even those they wouldn’t tell their own spouses). Isn’t afraid of rapists but if you’re a maid don’t have her catch you having sex or getting into Branson’s pants. Should totally get together with the butler, seriously. Though not a maid herself (she used to be one), she’s the boss of them.

Function: Responsible for the female staff (except for the lady’s maid, nurse, and cook) as well as maintaining the house’s furnishings. Could also share responsibilities with the House Manager and Butler in regard to buying provisions, dispensing funds as needed, and keeping household accounts. Second in command of the household staff and immediate representative of the mistress. Charged with the china closet and house linens, preparing bedrooms for visitors and their servants, and the stillroom. Makes rounds replacing supplies like candles, soap, and writing paper. Checks that rooms are clean and in order. Presides over the servants’ hall dinner. Does most of the needlework, arranges dessert, pours coffee and tea, and bottles fruit. Responsibilities vary by household and staff size.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 30-55 pounds ($3,700-$5,400). Has her own room or cottage on the estate depending on marital status.
Status: Reported to mistress of the house and is only answerable to the family. Highest ranked female servant. Is always referred to as “Mrs.” regardless of marital status.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5:30 am-10:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a woman who’s risen through the ranks in the domestic service establishment. Again, this depends on the size of the household staff and estate. However, housekeepers among a large staff is usually not married.
Characters who had this job: Mrs. Elsie Hughes has this job at Downton and does almost everything described above relating to a housekeeper’s duties. Has been working at Downton Abbey almost as long as Carson (though doesn’t remember Lady Mary as a child. Though she might’ve started working there since Mary was a teenager).

2. Head House Maid

Head House Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to the woman willing to cover up the boss's daughter's disastrous one night stand with a Turk and clear his valet of murder charges. Will be rewarded with marriage to valet and promotion to lady's maid to the boss's daughter in question.

Head House Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to the woman willing to cover up the boss’s daughter’s disastrous one night stand with a Turk and clear his valet of murder charges (even if his first wife was a total bitch who deserved it). Will be rewarded with marriage to valet and promotion to lady’s maid to the boss’s daughter in question.

Function: The most senior house maid who supervised the maid staff. Usually on estates with at least 3 maids (an estate like Downton Abbey would’ve had at least 4-6 house maids).
Pay and Benefits: Well, annual salary of at least 20 pounds ($2,100) and room and board.
Status: Highest ranking female member of the Lower Staff. Reported directly to the Housekeeper.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Young unmarried woman who’s been on the maid staff for at least some time, perhaps longer than most the maids under her care. Usually in her 20s.
Characters who had this job: Before she became the second Mrs. Bates and Lady Mary’s lady’s maid, Anna had this job during Seasons 1-3. Her successor’s identity is unknown but seeing that Downton has 3 house maids, this job must still exist. Despite being significantly younger than her husband, Anna has worked at Downton much longer and might be the same age as Thomas.

3. Chamber Maid

Chamber Maid: At Downton Abbey, this job goes to the woman who seems to be the most likely candidate for the resident Earl's "chamber" metaphorically speaking. Luckily for the Countess, this was more an emotional affair in which this maid was just trying to make a better future for her son through any methods she could.

Chamber Maid: At Downton Abbey, this job goes to the woman who seems to be the most likely candidate for the resident Earl’s “chamber” metaphorically speaking. Luckily for the Countess, this was more an emotional affair in which this maid was just trying to make a better future for her son through any methods she could.

Function: Responsible for cleaning and maintaining bedrooms. Duties include sweeping, dusting, making beds, warming beds, taking care of fires, attending dressing room, fetching hot water, and caring for windows.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 20 pounds ($2,100) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Yet, have a slightly higher status than parlor maids since they’re in contact with the family. Reported to Housekeeper.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman at least in her teens and from the lower classes.
Characters who had this job: On Downton Abbey, there’s no distinction between parlor and chamber maids (yet a place like Downton would typically have 2-3 of them).

4. Parlor Maid
Function: Responsible for cleaning and maintaining sitting rooms, drawing rooms and other rooms of public reception. Served refreshments at afternoon tea and sometimes dinner.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 20 pounds a year ($2,100) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Slightly lower than chamber maids since they had less contact with the family. Reported to Housekeeper.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman at least in her teens and from the lower classes.
Characters who had this job: On Downton Abbey, there’s no distinction between parlor and chamber maids (yet a place like Downton would typically have 2-3 of them).

5. Still Room Maid
Function: Employed in the still room as well as responsible for alcohol, cosmetics, medicines, and cooking ingredients across all departments of the house.
Pay and Benefits: At least an annual salary of 15 pounds ($1,600) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Reported to Cook, Butler, and Housekeeper.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman at least in her teens who demonstrated some skill in distilling and preserving as well as from the lower classes.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey so it’s probably Daisy who has to do such duties as of Season 4.

6. Storeroom Maid
Function: Charged with supporting the housekeeper in maintaining vast stores of linens, foodstuffs, and household supplies.
Pay and Benefits: Well, probably an annual salary of 15 pounds ($1,600) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Reported to Housekeeper.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman at least in her teens and from the lower classes.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey since it had basically disappeared by the middle of the 19th century.

7. House Maid

House Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to: poor girls with secretarial ambitions, girls who can't keep their pants down for soldiers, war widows who want their kids in prestigious grammar schools, and social climbers who try to find fame and fortune through Branson's trousers.

House Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to: poor girls with secretarial ambitions, girls who can’t keep their pants down for soldiers, war widows who want their kids in prestigious grammar schools, and social climbers who try to find fame and fortune through Branson’s trousers.

Function: A general purpose female worker whose function was chiefly upstairs, usually responsible for dusting, cleaning, making beds, caring for windows, opening windows, washing windows and stairs, lighting fires, polishing fireplaces and fixtures, tending to flower arrangements, emptying chamber pots, and serving tea but duties may vary depending on household and staff size.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of at least 16 pounds a year ($1,700) as well as room and board. Pay may depend on household size, staff size, and designation of responsibilities.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young and unmarried woman at least in her teens and from the lower classes (though she may be even younger in the lower maid orders). Most housekeepers and lady’s maids usually were this before reaching their respective posts.
Characters who had this job: At Downton Abbey, Anna started out with this job in Seasons 1-3 and I guess that O’Brien, Baxter, and Mrs. Hughes worked as one before the show even started. Other notable house maids include Gwen Dawson from Season 1, Ethel Parks and Jane Moorsum from Season 2, and Edna Braithwaite from Season 3. While house maids don’t usually play a big part on the show, Downton Abbey usually has at least 3-6 of them (an estate like Downton would usually have 4-6), or as many as the plot allows.

8. Between Maid
Function: Responsible for waiting, setting the table, removing dishes, and serving meals for the servants. Worked in the house or kitchen as needed. Tidied libraries, studies, and (with footmen) answered bells for service. May even wait on the most senior staff in larger households.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 15 pounds ($1,600) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and roughly equal to scullery maid. Reported to Housekeeper, Butler, and Cook. If these there didn’t like one another, her job was a difficult one. This was one of the lowest rungs in the maid world.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5am to 10pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried girl between the ages of 12-16.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey or at least in name yet, an estate that size would at least have 2-3.

9. Maid of All Work

Maid of All Work: At Crawley House, this is the job you give a former Downton Abbey maid who was fired for banging a major and was forced into prostitution to support her son before the kid's handed to his paternal grandparents. Her mere presence will just make the longtime cook you've had quit. Is a terrible cook herself.

Maid of All Work: At Crawley House, this is the job you give a former Downton Abbey maid who was fired for banging a major and was forced into prostitution to support her son before the kid’s handed to his paternal grandparents. Her mere presence will just make the longtime cook you’ve had quit. Is a terrible cook herself.

Function: General domestic worker responsible for all the housework for a household that employed only one servant. Duties depended on the household.
Pay and Benefits: At least room and board but salary depended on the household she worked for.
Status: She isn’t of the servant hierarchy because she’s usually the only worker in the household. However, this was probably the nadir position in the maid world and one of the least desirable.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman at least in her teens and rather inexperienced. Often someone “rescued” from the workhouse.
Characters who had this job: Ethel Parks tries to be this to Isobel Crawley in Season 3 but fails since she’s a bad cook. It’s also implied that she’s sought another position at a house near where her son lives.

The Domestic Servants of Downton Abbey: Part 3-The Kitchen

Kitchen: At Downton Abbey, this is where the food is prepared and  a lot of the downstairs drama takes place, other than in the Servant's Hall, naturally

Kitchen: At Downton Abbey, this is where the food is prepared and a lot of the downstairs drama takes place, other than in the Servant’s Hall, naturally. Serves 8 hot meals a day, which seems a bit much even by Hobbit standards.

On a large British grand estate like Downton Abbey, the kitchen is probably one of the busier rooms since it’s where all the food is prepared before arriving to the dining room to serve. As we see on Downton Abbey, you can guess that the Crawleys entertain a lot, especially during special occasions like banquets, balls, parties, weddings, holidays, or when guests arrive. And when visitors and house guests arrive, you can expect Mrs. Patmore and her kitchen staff working into overdrive just to provide the most impressive and delicious meals consisting of at least a dinner with 3 courses or more. Nevertheless, since it was a room for food preparation, it was a servant domain located either in the basement or ground floor. And before the advent of the Servant Halls and Quarters, it was where they ate, socialized, spent their free time, or sometimes even slept. But while the kitchen staff at Downton have the luxuries of tiled floors, closed gas stoves, electricity, indoor plumbing, cupboards, and other industrial conveniences, this wouldn’t have been the case if Downton Abbey took place at a time before the Industrial Revolution. In Colonial America, kitchens were either built in the back of the house or as separate buildings due to the obvious fire hazards (at a time when kitchen fires were very common, by the way). And in Tudor times, let’s just say you’d want to stay the hell out of any of their estate kitchens since it was a dirty, hot, dangerous, and miserable place in which food took hours to cook over an open fire. It also wasn’t unusual for the kitchen staff at Henry VIII’s Hampton Court to cook in the nude on many occasions just to cool off, which probably isn’t something you’d see on The Tudors for obvious reasons. And it probably didn’t help that he had to have six lavish weddings either. Nevertheless, without further adieu, I bring you a list of servants you might’ve seen on a large grand estate like Downton Abbey.

1. Clerk of the Kitchen
Function: Responsible for supervising the kitchen, including the work of the female cook and her subordinates. Ordered table provisions, negotiated with the green grocer, baker, and butcher. Disbursed funds allocated by house steward for payment of provisions to tradesmen for their services. Guardian of the pantry. Ensured meals were served on time and properly prepared this type of food preparation. Sometimes the chef held this position.
Pay and Benefits: Well, higher than most of the kitchen staff but salary depended on size of the household. Yet, he did have his own quarters.
Status: Well, at least Senior Servants.
Hours: Works a daily schedule on the estate from at least dawn to dusk.
Typical Candidate: Must be male and have a certain amount of experience in management and the kitchen.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey yet, this is more of an 18th century job anyway. However, Mrs. Patmore does most of this positions duties herself though Mrs. Hughes has the key to the pantry.

2. Chef/Man-Cook

Chef/Man-Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is the job a lady's maid's nephew aspires to be even though he's just a second footman. Still, gets his chance to train at the Ritz Hotel through hard work and sheer luck in Season 4.

Chef/Man-Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is the job a lady’s maid’s nephew aspires to be even though he’s just a second footman. Still, gets his chance to train at the Ritz Hotel through hard work and sheer luck in Season 4.

Function: In charge of kitchen staff and responsible for preparing the family’s meals and the kitchen staff.
Pay and Benefits: Varies considerably depending on the household and the male cook’s prestige (a famous chef for the royal family could be paid as much as 300 pounds {$32,000}). Always paid more than female cooks though. Had his own room or cottage depending on marital status or level of expertise.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff though rank below Butler and Housekeeper if present. Ate in the kitchen.
Hours: From early morning until evening with free time in the afternoon save on special dinners.
Typical Candidate: Well, from the 19th century onwards, most male cooks had to be familiar with French cuisine. Yet, whenever the cook is male, French guys are usually preferred (at least in Great Britain).
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey (since male cooks weren’t employed on estates at the time unless they were chefs). However, Alfred Nugent does leave Downton to train as one in Season 4.

3. Cook

Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is the person responsible for cooking all the food and supervising the kitchen. This job goes to a cantankerous and no nonsense middle-aged woman who rules her kitchen with an iron rod and quick tongue. But she can make anyone with a strong anti-British culinary prejudice enjoy English food. Doesn't permit profanity unless she's doing the swearing. Also takes a lot of frustrations on her staff. Hey, what do you expect from someone who has to cook 8 hot meals a day?

Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is the person responsible for cooking all the food and supervising the kitchen. This job goes to a cantankerous and no nonsense middle-aged woman who rules her kitchen with an iron rod and quick tongue. But she can make anyone with a strong anti-British culinary prejudice enjoy English food. Yet, she’s utterly hopeless with the electric mixer. Doesn’t permit profanity unless she’s doing the swearing. Hates makeup. Also takes a lot of frustrations on her staff she treats as her own children. Hey, what do you expect from someone who has to cook 8 hot meals a day?

Function: Responsible for preparing meals and in charge of the kitchen staff. Charged with making a menu for lunch and dinner as well as orders tradespeople to serve the house while in town. Makes soup for the following day as well as that day’s pastry, jellies, creams, and entrees, all in the morning. Also has to lock doors and windows to the basement, let the kitchen fire burn low, to turn off the gas in the kitchen and hallways before going to bed. Other responsibilities depend on size of household staff.
Pay and Benefits: In a modest home, she could be paid as little as 30 pounds ($3,200) and at most more than the butler yet rank below him. Also has her own room or cottage on the estate depending on marital status.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff. Addressed as “Mrs.” regardless of marital status if female. Ranks at least below the Butler and Housekeeper and above everyone else. Is only answerable to the family. However, if female, isn’t as prestigious as a male cook though but in rank, she was second only to the housekeeper among the female staff. Ate in the kitchen.
Hours: From early morning to late at night after dinner. Always has breakfast first before proceeding to make it for everyone else. Usually free in the afternoon save for special occasions like a dinner party or guests.
Typical Candidate: If female, she’s usually a woman who’s risen through the ranks after starting as a kitchen maid. Sought after for her sophisticated and practical knowledge.
Characters who had this job: Mrs. Beryl Patmore has this job at Downton Abbey and does about everything described above. She’s well known for her craft as well as worked at Downton for over 20 years as of Season 4. Still, she’s also known for her temper, but this is typical for most cooks at the time.

4. Confectioner
Function: Responsible with preparing candies and other confections for the estate during large dinners. Also, helps preserve foodstuffs and other ingredients.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure anyone working in this position would’ve gotten a nice compensation as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff. Addressed by last name and reported to Cook. Dined with kitchen staff.
Hours: Worked from early in the morning to late at night.
Typical Candidate: Usually someone who’s been trained and possesses knowledge pertaining to making confections and food preservation.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey but probably does on grander estates.

5. Baker
Function: Responsible for preparing and making bread and other baked goods.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure anyone in this position would receive a nice compensation as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff, addressed by first name, and reported to Cook. Dined with kitchen staff.
Hours: Worked from early in the morning to late at night.
Typical Candidate: Usually someone who’s been trained in a bake shop for a certain number of years.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey but probably does on grander estates.

6. Pastry Cook
Function: Responsible for preparing the pastry dishes and baked goods for the family during a large banquet on special occasions.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure a person in this position received a great compensation with room and board.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff. Addressed by last name. Reported to Cook and dined with kitchen staff.
Hours: Worked from early in the morning to late at night.
Typical Candidate: Usually someone who’s been trained and possesses a wide range of knowledge regarding pastries and other baked delights. Could be either gender.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey but it probably does on grander estates.

7. Undercook or Assistant Cook

Undercook or Assistant Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is a job you give to a young woman who's complained about being a lowly scullery/kitchen maid for a good 8 years without being promoted. Also, had to go through a deathbed marriage with a dying soldier who once served as the second footman. Though she may someday get to run her father-in-law's farm.

Undercook or Assistant Cook: At Downton Abbey, this is a job you give to a young woman who’s complained about being a lowly scullery/kitchen maid for a good 8 years without being promoted. Also, had to go through a deathbed marriage with a dying soldier who once served as the second footman. Though she may someday get to run her father-in-law’s farm.

Function: Apprentice to the cook or chef. Prepares meals for the staff. In larger households, she was the head kitchen maid as well as was responsible for much of the plain cooking.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 15 pounds ($1,600) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Reported directly to Cook and ate in the kitchen.
Hours: Usually early morning to late at night. Sort of the same as the cook.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young woman who’s had experience as a kitchen maid as well as quite skilled.
Characters who had this job: Daisy Mason is promoted to Assistant Cook after serving as a kitchen maid at Downton Abbey for 8 years in by Season 3 and she managed that mostly by complaining. Yet, she’s also known as a good cook though.

8.  Kitchen Maid

Kitchen Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job an aspiring Assistant Cook wants filled so badly unless it's by a girl who steals  the heart of the footman of her affections. Likes to attract guys but isn't interested in anything serious. Will take the first promotion opportunity she could get, even if it means leaving the country.

Kitchen Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is the job an aspiring Assistant Cook wants filled so badly unless it’s by a girl who steals the heart of the footman of her affections. Likes to attract guys but isn’t interested in anything serious. Will take the first promotion opportunity she could get, even if it means leaving the country.

Function: Basically her job was to assist the cook in preparing the meals and overseeing everything in the kitchen such as cleanliness, efficiency, and food preparation. Also answered to dining table demands on a daily basis. In smaller households, they can prepare vegetables, game, and poultry, do dairy work, and bake bread. If there was no still room made, they also made cakes for lunch, tea, and dessert as well as rolls for breakfast.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 15 pounds a year as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Reported to Cook and ate in the kitchen.
Hours: Usually from early morning to late at night. Same as the cook.
Typical Candidate: Usually an unmarried young woman at least in her teens though often very skilled or having ambition to be so.
Characters who had this job: Daisy starts out with this job at Downton Abbey in Seasons 1-3. By Season 3, she’s worked as a kitchen maid for 8 years (yet, an estate like Downton would certainly have at least 2-3). Ivy Stuart has this in Seasons 3-4, but since she left to be Harold Levinson’s cook in Season 4, this position is vacant.

9. Dairy Maid
Function: Responsible for churning butter, milking cows, transporting milk, as well as preparing creams and cheeses.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 15 pounds a year ($1,600) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and addressed by first name. Reported to Cook.
Hours: Usually from sunrise to late at night as far as I know.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young woman at least in her teens who had some general knowledge on dairy products (like someone who grew up on a dairy farm).
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey as far as I can tell. In fact, due to large scale dairy farming, this job might’ve become obsolete by the 20th century. Mrs. Patmore probably just got her dairy products from the open market. Still, they’re best known for inadvertently helping Edward Jenner develop the small pox vaccine (since the cowpox made them immune from the virus) but this was in the 18th century.

10. Scullery Maid

Scullery Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is a job you'd give to an impressionable teenage girl with a crush on the resident asshole who witnesses the boss's wife, daughter, and Head House Maid carry a dead Turk out of the daughter's bedroom in the middle of the night. Gives rise to the Kemal Pamuk scandal.

Scullery Maid: At Downton Abbey, this is a job you’d give to an impressionable teenage girl with a crush on the resident asshole who witnesses the boss’s wife, daughter, and Head House Maid carry a dead Turk out of the daughter’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Gives rise to the Kemal Pamuk scandal. Best girl to have dying soldier marry.

Function: Responsible for cleaning and scouring the pots and pans as well as cooking utensils and stoves. She also cleaned vegetables, scrubbed scales off fish, plucked poultry, provided hot water for the house, lit fires to heat water, and cleaned away garbage and debris off floor. Duties included cleaning the servants’ hall, scullery, larders, and kitchen hallways. Might’ve cleaned and emptied chamber pots as well as assisted in watching or cooking food. Other responsibilities may vary depending on size of staff and household.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 13 pounds ($1,300) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff as well as often the lowest ranked female servant in the household. She wasn’t allowed to touch any luxuries like the china, silver, or glass. Reported to Cook and ate in the kitchen.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5:00 am to 10:000pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a teenage girl between 10-16 years old and maybe even younger as well as from the lower classes.
Characters who had this job: This job does not really exist on Downton Abbey, yet Daisy and Ivy Stuart fulfill duties of both this and the Kitchen Maid (an estate like Downton would’ve employed at least 2-3 of them).

11. Provision Boy
Function: Assisted the kitchen in fetching supplies.
Pay and Benefits: Besides room and board, not much pay.
Status: Member of Lowest Staff and possibly among the lowest positions. Addressed by first name. Reported to Cook and dined in kitchen.
Hours: Worked from early in the morning to late at night.
Typical Candidate: Usually a boy who could be as young as 10, maybe even younger.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey.

The Domestic Servants of Downton Abbey: Part 2-The Butler’s Pantry

Butler: At Downton Abbey, this is the guy who's in charge of the household staff as well as the post you assume on an estate after a failed showbiz career and a relationship in which your girlfriend dumped you for your Vaudeville partner. Though fatherly and stiff, can be quite amusing when trying to hopelessly interact with new technology like a phonograph or a telephone.

Butler: At Downton Abbey, this is the guy who’s in charge of the household staff as well as the post you assume on an estate after a failed showbiz career and a relationship in which your girlfriend dumped you for your Vaudeville partner. Though fatherly and stiff with a rigid code of conduct, can be quite amusing when trying to hopelessly interact with new technology like a phonograph or a telephone. Yet, suggest that a maid serve a duke in the dining room and he’ll think society collapse is inevitable.

The role of the butler is one of the more recognizable jobs in a Great House or a large estate and Downton Abbey is no exception. On Downton Abbey (and in most media in general), he’s seen as head of the household staff and sometimes attends to his every master’s need (though this is more of valet’s job description, which I’ll get to later). On one end, he can be well dressed, unfailingly polite, devoted to his employer despite being more level headed and smarter than his boss. On the other end, he could be a manipulative schemer who could kill his boss during a dinner party. However, while we usually see the Butler as the most senior employee nowadays, this wasn’t always the case in history and could sometimes depend on the household. In fact, the butler’s original purpose was to look after the wine in the cellar and was of middle rank yet later this included cheese, bread, and other basic provisions sometimes known as the butler’s pantry. Yet, from the 17th to 19th centuries, his stature slowly rose even though sometimes, he wasn’t always the servant in charge and could be outranked whether it be by the valet or Groom of the Chambers. But nevertheless, the liveried butler is still the most familiar intermediary between the upstairs world and the downstairs staff. So without further adieu, here are the jobs relating to the Butler and his retinue from the Butler’s Pantry.

1. Groom of the Chambers
Function: Responsible for announcing company, answering bells, making sure the principal seeing rooms are in proper order as well as supplied with pens, ink, candles, and paper. Also assist in decorating such as flower displays, making sure card tables have cards, and sees that rooms are in proper order. Keeps a book of invitations given to his employers to remind of their engagements as well as arranges invitations for special events. Sees that guests are properly attended. Supervised servants and specialized in furniture maintenance.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure he receives a generous sum of money as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff, addressed by last name, and reported to the master or House Steward. May even outrank the butler.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5:00am-10:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a man who spent considerable time as a footman, butler, or other member of the male staff with leadership skills.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey but it’s likely that the estate might’ve had one. Then again, Carson performs a lot of this job’s duties anyway and might’ve went obsolete in the late 19th century.

2. Butler
Function: Highest official servant and responsible for running the house and from the 19th century onward assumed the House Manager’s responsibilities. Charged with supervising the footmen, the plate chest (making sure it’s properly cleaned before use), and affairs relating to any alcohol purchased and consumed by the household (such as keeping accounts, decanting it for lunch and dinner, and putting it away after every meal). Can even bottle wine and brew beer. Takes over valet’s duty when there’s not one in the household. Announces visitors during afternoon hours, readies rooms for use every day, as well as tidies them. Also, polishes the silver and keeps it in pristine condition. Responsibilities depend on the size of the establishment.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 40-60 pounds ($4,300-$6,400). Also receives gratuity money from vendors selling goods to maintain the house. Has his own room on the estate or a cottage if married.
Status: Highest ranking of an official servant and is only answerable to the family.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5am-10pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a seasoned male veteran of the domestic service establishment who’s risen through the ranks over his career. Most butlers usually served many other positions while in the same house.
Characters who had this job: Mr. Charles Carson is Downton Abbey’s resident butler and does possibly everything described above except make alcohol and take over the valet’s duties (which Thomas does). Not surprisingly, he’s been working at Downton longer than any of the other staff or at least as early as the 1890s before the Crawley girls were born (then again, he may have been a servant before his career in Vaudeville).

3. Under Butler

Under Butler: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to the estate's resident scheming asshole after he's caught sexually assaulting a footman in his bedroom. Sure he's worked as a footman for over 10 years, served as NCO in the war, and has experience as a valet. But, really, that incident could've landed him jail, let alone get him fired.

Under Butler: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to the estate’s resident scheming asshole after he’s caught sexually assaulting a footman in his bedroom. Sure he’s worked as a footman for over 10 years, served as NCO in the war, and has experience as a valet. But, really, that incident could’ve landed him jail, let alone get him fired. Talk about giving a promotion to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Function: Shares many of the butler’s duties but is only second to him among the male staff as well as takes control of staff when butler’s away. Also, takes over as a footman during special occasions. Responsibilities may vary according to household. Though not all estates have this position.
Pay and Benefits: Well, less than the butler as well as housekeeper and his own room or cottage at the estate depending on his marital status.
Status: Member of the Upper Staff and only answerable to the Butler. Addressed by last name.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5am-10pm.
Typical Candidate: Again, a male veteran of the domestic service who’s worked for the household for quite some time to rise through the ranks.
Characters who had this job: Thomas Barrow has had this job at Downton Abbey since Season 3 (after an incident that would’ve gotten him jailed, let alone fired in real life. Then again, his homosexuality has been an open secret at Downton anyway. However, since he’s the resident baddie {especially after O’Brien left}, his position at Downton is relatively secure unless Rob James-Collier wants off the show). Nevertheless, Thomas has been working at Downton for over a decade.

4. First Footman

First Footman: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to the handsome footman who's kind of a prick not above hazing his competition. Though this job may not get him laid by the kitchen maid who has a crush on him, it may make him prone to some awkward moments of unwanted sexual  attention.

First Footman: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to the handsome footman who’s kind of a prick not above hazing his competition. Though this job may not get him laid by the kitchen maid who has a crush on him, it may make him prone to some awkward moments of unwanted sexual attention. Also has a former boss who won’t leave him alone.

Function: Next in line to replace butler (unless there’s an under butler in the household staff), with his main job to be tall, handsome, and to represent the estate’s grandeur. Aside from regular footman duties, he accompanied the lady of the house on shopping trips, served the family meals, and assisted the butler.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 30 pounds a year ($3,200) as well as room and board (though he typically had to share one). However, like most footmen, the taller and handsomer he was (or the more similar he resembled the second footman), the more he got paid. Could be supplemented by 5-15 pounds annually ($500-$1,500) in tips and other gifts from the lady of the house.
Status: Highest ranking member of the Lower Staff. Addressed by first name and reported to Butler.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually the footman who’s spent either the longest time at the estate. If not, then hotness and height.
Characters who had this job: Thomas Barrow starts out as the first footman in Seasons 1 and 3 until his promotion to under butler. Onwards, it’s been Jimmy Kent as of Season 4.

5. Second Footman

Second Footman: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to a military age guy who's not the resident asshole or romantically pursuing the boss's daughter. Mainly exists as a nice guy to get killed off in WWI during Season 2. Because we all know that someone at Downton had to get it.

Second Footman: At Downton Abbey this is the job you give to a military age guy who’s not the resident asshole or romantically pursuing the boss’s daughter. Mainly exists as a nice guy to get killed off in WWI during Season 2, dying peacefully after his rushed death bed wedding with the kitchen maid. Because we all know that someone at Downton had to get it.

Function: Similar to the first footman but in an apprenticeship capacity.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 25 pounds ($2,700) but can depend on hotness, height, and resemblance to the first footman, as well as having to share a room.
Status: Member of Lower Staff. Addressed by first name and reported to Butler.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually the footman who’s spent a long time on at the estate. Yet, if he bore a resemblance to the first footman or was reasonably hot or tall, it was even better.
Characters who had this job: William Mason was Downton Abbey’s second footman until he joined the army in Season 2 (yet was killed in WWI so didn’t return to his post. However, since he, Thomas, and Branson were the only servants of military age on the estate, his death was no surprise.) And from Season 3 to the time he left for culinary school in London, Alfred Nugent served this post (of course, he was hired as a footman only because he was O’Brien’s nephew but he probably would’ve just gotten to work as one at Downton due to being 6’4” alone). Since then, it’s been Joseph Molesley (who probably got in since he was Matthew’s valet and aching for a job) as of Season 4.

6. Footman

Footman: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to men that are: complete assholes, kind-hearted cannon fodder, culinary aspiring nephews of lady's maids, guys fleeing the unwanted attentions of a female boss, and ex-valets desperate for employment after their boss suddenly died in a car accident on the way home from the hospital.

Footman: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give to men that are: complete assholes, kind-hearted cannon fodder, culinary aspiring nephews of lady’s maids, guys fleeing the unwanted attentions of a female boss, and ex-valets desperate for employment after their boss suddenly died in a car accident on the way home from the hospital.

Function: Male staff part of the butler’s pantry department. Usual duties include laying the table, answering the door, waiting at the table, receiving and carrying packages and mail, and accompanying the family while traveling on foot, carriage, or car. Also looked after male guests who came without a valet. May even carry heavy items and move furniture for the house maids. Their roles were similar to waiters, bodyguards, busboys, and escorts.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of at least 20 pounds ($2,100) as well as room and board. Pay also depended on the footman’s looks such as height and hotness since they were meant to be seen by family and guests. A footman over 5’10” could earn as much as 40 pounds a year (which may be over $3,500), (Alfred could’ve earned this much money).
Status: Member of the Lower Staff. However, since they were hired to be seen, the notion of a handsome footman was the 19th century equivalent of the hot pool boy. And yes, affairs between footmen and their mistresses did occur. Addressed by first name and reported to Butler. Have expensive livery uniforms, refined mannerisms, and general appearance. Still, an estate like Downton Abbey usually had 4 of them.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Well, must be an unmarried young man of great height and reasonably hot. Most were in their late teens and 20s (Moseley would’ve not been hired as a footman in real life since he’s balding and may be over 30. Yet, was made one nevertheless to keep him on the show. Yet, despite Alfred’s not being a servant before, he certainly would since he’s 6’4” tall {even if he wasn’t O’Brien’s nephew}.) Butlers usually had this position before rising to their current position.
Characters who had this job: Let’s see for there’s quite a list of footmen at Downton Abbey. Well, Season 1 has Thomas Barrow (until Season 3) and William Mason while Season 3 has Alfred Nugent and Jimmy Kent. However, since Thomas’ promotion and Alfred’s departure, it’s been Jimmy Kent and Joseph Moseley as of Season 4. Also, Carson was most likely a footman while the Crawley girls were young.

7. Page or Tea Boy
Function: Apprentice footman responsible for attending a person of distinction as well as guests. May have even served other servants in the Servants’ Hall.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 8-16 pounds ($860-$1,700) depending on age, appearance, height, and abilities.
Status: Member of Lower Staff and addressed by first name.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a boy between 10-16 years old from the lower classes as well as shows higher ambition. A lot of footman started out this way.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist on Downton Abbey but I’m sure someone like Thomas Barrow and Carson worked as one for a time.

8. Hall Boy
Function: Assistant to the lowest footman who takes cards in the hall, polishes shoes and boots of visitors, and empties chamber pots.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 13 pounds ($1,300) as well as room and board.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and one of lowest male servant ranks. Addressed by first name.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a boy between 10-16 years old and from the lower classes. Many footmen, valets, and butlers started out this way.
Characters who had this job: Well, this job may or may not exist on Downton Abbey but it’s likely that men like Thomas Barrow and Carson might have worked as one.

9. Pantry Boy
Function: Responsible for maintaining the pantry as far as I know.
Pay and Benefits: Besides room and board, not much pay.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and one of the lowest ranked male servants. Reported to Butler.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 6:00am-11:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young boy or a teenager at least 10, maybe even younger.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey. However, outside the show and in real life, this the job real life butler Eugene Allen started out with during his long career at the White House. So this job definitely existed somewhere.

10. Boot Boy
Function: Responsible for cleaning, polishing, and caring for the household members’ boots and shoes as well as other odd jobs.
Pay and Benefits: Besides room and board, not much pay.
Status: Member of the Lower Staff and lowest ranking male servant. Addressed by first name and reported to Butler.
Hours: Worked 7 days a week from 5:00am-10:00pm.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young boy or teenager. May be as young as 10 or even younger.
Characters who had this job: This job may or may not exist at Downton Abbey. Yet, these boys weren’t meant to be seen.

The Domestic Servants of Downton Abbey: Part 1-The Professionals

Estate Manager: On Downton, this is the job you give the Irish chauffeur after he's managed to procreate with the boss's daughter who's died in childbirth.

Estate Manager: At Downton Abbey, this is the job you give the Irish chauffeur after he’s managed to marry and procreate with the boss’s daughter who’s died in childbirth from eclampsia. Yet, despite not having a college education and being an Irish Nationalist and self-professed Anarcho-Socialist involved with terrorism, he’s perfect for the job because he’s grown up on a farm and is the father of the boss’s granddaughter by his dead daughter.  Oh, and I’m sure the boss will forgive him for leaving his pregnant wife in Ireland while on the lam, supporting the Russian Revolution, and blowing up a castle.

The British show Downton Abbey is a hit period drama (or soap opera) in both the UK and the US which tells the story of a great house during the early 20th century which kicks off when two of the male heirs of Downton and to the Earl of Grantham died aboard the R. M. S. Titanic and since the Earl only has daughters, the next in line is a lawyer in Manchester who the Granthams hadn’t met until the second episode. The show is now in its fifth season which airs on PBS during the months of January and February in the United States. Since my series on the real people from HBO’s Boardwalk Empire has met great success (I’m still getting hits on the posts since September) I figured I could do a similar series pertaining to Downton Abbey as well. However, I couldn’t do a series on the real people of Downton Abbey because there’s barely any, which would take a very small post (and most of these people appear in Season 4). Instead, I decided to do a series on an aspect the show revolves around: the servants.

For a long time in Great Britain, domestic service was a big industry, especially in the 19th century where servants were employed by almost every family that could afford one. In the 1850s it’s said that 1 in 3 women between the ages of 15-25 were servants while the other 1 in 3 were prostitutes. By 1900, British domestic servants amounted to 1.5 million of the country’s population of 36 million. Of course, unlike what you’d see from Downton Abbey and in other media portrayals, the relationship between master and servant wasn’t always of mutual respect between social boundaries. And it would be more fair to say they were treated more like appliances than people. Not only that, but servants’ lives could actually be quite miserable, degrading, exhausting, and thankless work. Some people could be forced to surrender their identities for a matching hair style and a generic name. Not to mention, servants could often be targets of abuse and could be fired for getting married, pregnant, or other reasons. Many of them worked 17 hour days for a pittance wage but the competition was fierce since servants had a roof over their heads and regular meals. Not to mention, there were worse situations to be in at the time such as in a factory or on the streets. Still, when it came to employment options a servant would rather work in a great house like Downton than a small one (which would’ve had a staff much bigger than on the show). At least working at a grand house would mean not doing as many chores and meeting people. And as far as loyalty goes, it wasn’t unusual for a employers to hire 32 maids in 34 years. However, despite the romanticized picture Downton Abbey gives, there was much more separation between the lives upstairs and downstairs and a lot of times the people downstairs didn’t have it so great (and at times their lives could totally suck since their employers couldn’t be held accountable if their bosses did anything horrible to them). Yet, what the show does get right is that servants did have their own hierarchies and were a great part to the grand house economy on the estate. Of course, I should remind you that not all the servant jobs I feature in my post pertains to the time of Downton Abbey or even the 19th century in that matter either.

In this first post, I’ll cover a group of those who worked on the estate or the Great House but weren’t actually designated “servants” since they didn’t reside in the house or at times didn’t work directly under the master and his family. Rather many of them have the designation as, “professional” employee since many of them had some degree of education and skill, yet may or may not work when called upon. Some of them may have their own house on the estate while others may just be looking for a place to apply their skills or live elsewhere. Yet, compared to most of the servants you’d see, they’re usually treated better, have much more independence or power, work shorter hours, and are more likely to be better paid. Not to mention, they don’t really belong in the other categories you’ll see later. So for your pleasure, here’s a list of jobs you’d see from an English estate under the designation of, “professional.”

1. Chamberlain
Function: Charged with the management of the living quarters of a sovereign or member of the nobility. May be in charge of receiving and distributing funds.
Pay and Benefits: Well, this is a job that allows for generous compensation as well as a private house on the estate. May have servants of his own.
Status: Highest steward of the servant hierarchy and regarded as a professional employee. Is answerable only to the master.
Hours: Depends on their duties during a specific era. Medieval chamberlains had the longest hours and most duties compared to their later successors.
Typical Candidate: Usually a member of the nobility or the royal court, particularly lower than the person they’re serving.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t really exist on Downton Abbey, except maybe in the King’s household with Lord Chamberlain.

2. Land Steward or Estate Manager
Function: Responsible for managing the farms, collecting rents, and undertaking all those activities associated with making the estate profitable. Other duties include leasing farms, surveying the property, settling disputes over land and farming, and detailing records of such affairs. When master isn’t present, usually supervised cultivation of land, lending his ear to tenant farmers and the sophistication of agricultural practices. Communicated with lawyers, family members, architects, suppliers, and tenants as well as saw to processing every aspect for the family and its affairs.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 100-300 pounds ($11,000-$33,000) and a private house on the estate.
Status: Regarded as a professional employee with a status higher than the family lawyer. Is answerable only to the master.
Hours: Usually a regular work day with a flexible schedule or as needed.
Typical Candidate: Usually a highly educated gentleman. Lawyers preferred, especially those who have a financial and managerial background.
Characters who had this job: The Earl of Grantham and his family had Jarvis who served the estate from 1880 to 1920 until Downton Abbey was struck with financial disaster in Season 3. Since then, it’s been shared by Matthew Crawley and Tom Branson (since he grew up on a farm). Yet, after Matthew’s sudden death during the Christmas Special, it’s just been Branson.

3. House Steward or House Manager
Function: Responsible for all purchasing, hiring, firing, and paying the servant staff. Engages with the male and female servants except the family, lady’s maid, nurses, and valet. Orders goods, pays bills, and keeps books. May also act as the Land Steward as well. Usually submits books to the master for review on a monthly basis. Basically the chief servant and the estate’s accountant.
Pay and Benefits: Annual salary of 50-100 pounds ($5,500-$11,000). May have his own private house on the estate with its own sitting room.
Status: Regarded as a professional employee but he’d be the chief male domestic servant in a household. Reports to the master and does not wear a livery.
Hours: Works on a daily schedule on the estate.
Typical Candidate: Must be male as well as a certain amount of education in finance and management. Usually lower born than the Land Manager.
Characters who had this job: Downton Abbey doesn’t really have this job since the House Manager is usually employed in larger households where the accounts are too extensive for the Housekeeper to manage. However, in the show, the House Manager’s duties are usually split between Carson and Mrs. Hughes.

4. Bailiff
Function: Either a free agent or employed under the Estate Manager. Manages the farm on his master’s country estate, buys cattle and horses for the plow, and is responsible for husbandry, the breeding and raising of livestock of the estate. May assist the Estate Manager in tenant and leased land issues as well as other administrative duties. Occasionally may assist in the dining room.
Pay and Benefits: Well, may have his own house as well as a generous annual salary.
Status: Well, as far as the grounds goes, he may be either professional or servant. If servant may be Upper Staff but not share in the privileges.
Hours: Typical working hours, save maybe special occasions.
Typical Candidate: Usually a reasonably educated man, preferably someone who’s grown up on a farm.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t really exist on Downton Abbey though Tom Branson usually fulfills many of the duties (he grew up on a farm).

5. Family Lawyer

Family Lawyer: At Downton, this job doesn't just pertain to legal consultation or representing the family on legal matters. Not only is he the go to guy when someone needs to get out of a jam but he also exists to explain the complicated legislation driving some of the plots.

Family Lawyer: At Downton, this job doesn’t just pertain to legal consultation or representing the family on legal matters. Not only is he the go to guy when someone needs to get out of a jam but he also exists to explain the complicated legislation driving some of the plots.

Function: Assists the family with legal matters and represents them in a court of law as well as in legal transactions. Serves executor of the will and is the first one called if a family member is facing legal trouble.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure lawyers in those days didn’t come cheap, especially those who served wealthy families.
Status: Regarded as a professional and didn’t live with the family unless he was related to them.
Hours: Came to the family as often as needed but tend to have a regular work schedule.
Typical Candidate: Usually a highly educated man from the upper or middle classes. May be part of a firm or the family even.
Characters who had this job: George Murray, QC has this job at Downton Abbey and he usually exists to explain the complicated legislation that drives the show’s plot. Tends to give sound financial advice, even if Lord Robert ignores it.

6. Librarian
Function: Basically responsible for things most librarians are such as managing the books in the estate library as well as family records and archives. Keeps a catalog of books, manuscripts, documents, and other pieces of information.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure the librarian got a fair compensation as well as their own private house on the estate.
Status: Considered a professional and not a servant. Addressed by last name.
Hours: Regular working hours.
Typical Candidate: Usually someone from the educated middle classes with at least a college education. Could be male or female but if the latter, she was usually single.
Characters who had this job: An off-screen character named Mr. Parkison has this job on Downton Abbey as of Season 4.

7.  Secretary
Function: Personal assistant providing a variety a clerical functions such as dictation, correspondence, typing out documents, organizing, and maintaining files. May also handle bookkeeping operations, greet visitors, and make travel arrangements.
Pay and Benefits: I’m sure they received a generous compensation.
Status: Considered a professional, addressed by last name, and reported to the master.
Hours: Regular working hours or as needed.
Typical Candidate: Usually a young unmarried woman or man with some experience in clerical skills.
Characters who had this job: This job may or may not exist on Downton Abbey. However in Season 1, Gwen Dawson trains to be and becomes one for a telephone company.

8. Journeyman
Function: A craftsman who’s completed his apprenticeship but isn’t yet a master. Responsibilities may include repair of furnishings or specialist cleaning.
Pay and Benefits: Depending on the journeyman’s fee or trade.
Status: Considered Casual Staff since they don’t live on the estate.
Hours: Called on as often as needed or if they’re passing through.
Typical Candidate: Usually a man who’s completed his apprenticeship but isn’t a master.
Characters who had this job: This job doesn’t exist at Downton Abbey for many of the skilled trade jobs fell by the wayside during the Industrial Revolution.

9. Tenant Farmer

Tenant Farmer: At Downton this is a job you give to guy who's family has lived on your estate since the Napoleonic Wars, is suited for agriculture and animal husbandry, and needs to repay the boss a debt inherited from his dead father. Basically a guy who agrees to farm your land to spare you from labor and that he owes money to you. Also, willing to tend to pigs and secretly take care of any illegitimate aristocratic children.

Tenant Farmer: At Downton this is a job you give to guy who’s family has lived on your estate since the Napoleonic Wars, is suited for agriculture and animal husbandry, and needs to repay the boss a debt inherited from his dead father. Basically a guy who agrees to farm your land to spare you from labor and that he owes money to you. Also, willing to tend to pigs and secretly raise any illegitimate aristocratic children.

Function: Tending to the livestock and crops on the estate’s lands as well as paying rent in exchange for a home and compensation.
Pay and Benefits: Well, they rented land they had a private house on as well as some compensation for what they provide to the estate.
Status: Well, they were renters and partly beneficiaries so they weren’t considered servants in the usual sense. Reported to the master or estate manager.
Hours: Worked from sunrise to sundown, especially during the spring through autumn.
Typical Candidate: Usually men from tenant families who’ve resided on the estate for generations.
Characters who had this job: Downton Abbey has a lot of tenant farmers on the estate, but only a man named Timothy Drewe is named from Season 4. His family has been tenants at Downton since the reign of King George III. Has a wife and 3 sons and is in charge of the pig sty.

Touchdown with These Super Bowl Sunday Party Treats

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So Christmas and New Years has come and gone, so what’s next? Of course, for me, I have my 25th birthday on the 13th and there’s Downton Abbey. Nevertheless, for those repressed culinary arts aficionados, don’t worry for though the Super Bowl is only a month away, January is playoff season so this will give you plenty of time to apply your creativity in the kitchen. Now for those who don’t live in the US, Super Bowl Sunday is the day of the NFL professional football championship in which the winning team that wins receives the Vince Lombardi trophy and a special player gets the Super Bowl MVP trophy, too. Of course, Super Bowl Sunday is sort of like an unofficial national holiday in America, in which families across the country to watch the two best football teams such as the NFC champion and the AFC champion for the ultimate Vince Lombardi trophy. Now being from the Pittsburgh area, I usually watch the Super Bowl if the Steelers are playing and I know this year, they’re in the playoffs. Of course, the bad news is that they play my Uncle Mike’s team, the Baltimore Ravens on Saturday in the Wild Card spot. Yet, if the Steelers do make the Super Bowl, I’ll certainly be torn between local loyalties and watching Downton Abbey, which is one of my favorite shows (it’s really that good). Still, I may not be into the Super Bowl party scene or sports in general (I love my Downton though, especially the Dowager Countess), but my dad played football in high school and has been watching football games ever since while I’ve spent eight years in high school and college marching band. Nevertheless, there are many who have Super Bowl parties and might be looking for ideas for food (and believe me, a lot of food is consumed during the Super Bowl, not all of it healthy). Of course, there are the traditional dishes like nachos, Buffalo wings, hamburgers, hotdogs, potato chips, tacos, pretzels, bacon, and anything else that’s not good for your arteries, all with the side of beer. However, I try to take the unconventional turn. So without, further adieu, here are some great Super Bowl treats to score a touchdown with your Super Bowl party guests. Also, this post has nothing to do with the NFL and it will probably be sponsored with brands like Chevrolet, McDonald’s, Burger King, Bud Light, Miller, Dodge, Ford, Honda, and Budweiser. Some treats might be from previous years.

1. For those from Baltimore, here are some winning cookies for the Baltimore Ravens.

Sorry, Uncle Mike, but Aunt Jane will never ever make these for you. Also, I can't believe this person has jerseys of a guy with two murder allegations and a guy caught on a security camera for knocking out his wife in Atlantic City. Yeah, the Ravens are a great team of role models aren't they?

Sorry, Uncle Mike, but Aunt Jane will never ever make these for you. Also, I can’t believe this person has jerseys of a guy with two murder allegations and a guy caught on a security camera for knocking out his wife in an Atlantic City casino. Yeah, the Ravens are a great team of role models aren’t they?

2. I think I’ll take a 30 yard pass with these deviled football eggs.

They may not be the appetizers you like, but they're a lot healthier than a lot of the traditional tailgating football fare.

They may not be the appetizers you like, but they’re a lot healthier than a lot of the traditional tailgating football fare.

3. Behold, the Mega Snackadium.

You'll see a lot of these in this post. Still, this is the largest of the snack stadiums by far. Of course, since this one is probably used by a restaurant, it doubles as an all you can eat buffet.

You’ll see a lot of these in this post. Still, this is the largest of the snack stadiums by far. Of course, since this one is probably used by a restaurant, it doubles as an all you can eat buffet.

4. To honor the late Vince Lombardi’s Italian heritage, score a touchdown with this delicious pepperoni pizza Vince would’ve wanted his mother to make.

Now I know that footballs are brown but I'm sure pepperoni will do. Also, despite that pepperoni contains lots of salt, this pizza is probably better for you than a lot of things.

Now I know that footballs are brown but I’m sure pepperoni will do. Also, despite that pepperoni contains lots of salt, this pizza is probably better for you than a lot of things. This is called the Vince Lombardi special.

5. For those in New England, here are the jersey cake pops of your favorite Patriots.

Now the New England Patriots are known for winning 3 Super Bowls in 4 years as well as Spygate. However, they lost their last two Super Bowls against the New York Giants. And one of them was when they were undefeated until then. Still, the Patriots are one of those teams you'd love to hate.

Now the New England Patriots are known for winning 3 Super Bowls in 4 years as well as Spygate. However, they lost their last two Super Bowls against the New York Giants. And one of them was when they were undefeated until then. Still, the Patriots are one of those teams you’d love to hate.

6. While you can munch on the Snackadium during the day, save room for some stadium desserts.

With cookie crusts, icing stands with sprinkles, fruit roll-up flags, and pudding turf, I'll take it. Now I'm sure those sprinkles had very expensive seats because Super Bowl tickets aren't cheap.

With cookie crusts, icing stands with sprinkles, fruit roll-up flags, and pudding turf, I’ll take it. Now I’m sure those sprinkles had very expensive seats because Super Bowl tickets aren’t cheap.

7. Since hamburgers are a staple tailgating dish, why not have them for dessert?

Sure these cookie and cream replicants don't exactly resemble cheeseburgers, but I'll have them. Besides, they're probably better for you than a Big Mac or a Whopper.

Sure these cookie and cream replicants don’t exactly resemble cheeseburgers, but I’ll have them. Besides, they’re probably better for you than a Big Mac or a Whopper.

8.  Now this 12th Man Snack Stadium is a great winning addition in a Super Bowl party for any Seattle Seahawks fan.

This one even has cookie versions of its key players on the team. Of course, they all look the same though. Still, they're the most recent Super Bowl Champions who beat the Denver Broncos last year. Steelers beat their ass in 2006 though.

This one even has cookie versions of its key players on the team. Of course, they all look the same though. Still, they’re the most recent Super Bowl Champions who beat the Denver Broncos last year. Steelers beat their ass in 2006 though.

9. Grace your Super Bowl party dessert platter with this large Cheeseburger cake.

Of course, if it's a chocolate cheeseburger cake, I'd call it a "Cheeseburger in Paradise" in the words of Jimmy Buffett. Of course, I'm sure Parrottheads know what I'm talking about.

Of course, if it’s a chocolate cheeseburger cake, I’d call it a “Cheeseburger in Paradise” in the words of Jimmy Buffett. Of course, I’m sure Parrottheads know what I’m talking about.

10. Nothing says Super Bowl party than a football shaped bread bowl filled with chili.

And if you have leftovers, chili even tastes better the second time you heat it up. Not sure about the bread bowl and cheese though. Yet, the golden brown bread almost matches the color.

And if you have leftovers, chili even tastes better the second time you heat it up. Not sure about the bread bowl and cheese though. Yet, the golden brown bread almost matches the color.

11. Now I’d sure like to intercept a cream football covered with chocolate chips.

God, I would really like to have this chocolate chip football on my Super Bowl party dessert platter. I mean who can't resist a chocolate football, or anything else chocolate for that matter?

God, I would really like to have this chocolate chip football on my Super Bowl party dessert platter. I mean who can’t resist a chocolate football, or anything else chocolate for that matter?

12. Speaking of chocolate footballs, here’s a tray of them covered with chocolate.

I think  what's under those footballs has to be cake, preferably chocolate cake. Still, I'll eat them.

I think what’s under those footballs has to be cake, preferably chocolate cake. Still, I’ll eat them. Seriously, those look good. Really good.

13. Score in your Super Bowl dinner with these football calzones with tomato sauce as a side.

Now compared to the other gameday delights, these calzones and tomato sauce actually resemble something like a gourmet meal. You know, like what you'd see on a cooking show or a recipe book.

Now compared to the other game day delights, these calzones and tomato sauce actually resemble something like a gourmet meal. You know, like what you’d see on a cooking show or a recipe book.

14. These Rice Krispie football treats will make your Super Bowl Sunday worthwhile.

Now I'm not sure if you'd take to them, but I'm positive your kids will. Then again, they're made from chocolate Rice Krispies at least I hope so.

Now I’m not sure if you’d take to them, but I’m positive your kids will. Then again, they’re made from chocolate Rice Krispies at least I hope so.

15. To wet your appetite for the big game, try these nice football bites.

Now these have pepperoni shaped footballs, cheddar cheese, and Ritz crackers. Of course, I don't know what the white stuff is on the pepperoni. Probably cheese.

Now these have footballs shaped kielbasa slices, cheddar cheese, and Ritz crackers. Of course, I don’t know what the white stuff is on the meat. Probably cheese.

16. Behold, I give you the mushroom and cheese Denver Broncos tortilla pizza.

Actually that's a pretty good rendition of the Denver Broncos logo. I mean, that's pretty damn good. Still, I don't know if the mushrooms make a good substitute for a blue background. Still, the Broncos lost the Super Bowl last year.

Actually that’s a pretty good rendition of the Denver Broncos logo. I mean, that’s pretty damn good. Still, I don’t know if the mushrooms make a good substitute for a blue background. Still, the Broncos lost the Super Bowl last year, even though they had Peyton Manning.

17. Enjoy your Super Bowl party with these edible cupcake wraps.

I'm not sure whether these are manufactured or made by some repressed art student, but chocolate ones have the football while vanilla ones have the yard lines.

I’m not sure whether these are manufactured or made by some repressed art student, but chocolate ones have the football while vanilla ones have the yard lines.

18. And now, I give you all, Hoagie Snackadium, home of Super Bowl BLT!

Hey, that's the football pepperoni pizza I posted earlier. Still, to me this seems like a healthier option than the other stadiums so far, but seems to contain a lot of carbs and fat.

Hey, that’s the football pepperoni pizza I posted earlier. Still, to me this seems like a healthier option than the other stadiums so far, but seems to contain a lot of carbs and fat.

19. Of course, you can’t have any Super Bowl party without a side of football shaped beer bread decorated with bacon and cheese.

Nevertheless, this is certainly a basket of Super Bowl bread rolls fit for any man. I mean it contains all the things men would want as well as the high cholesterol content.

Nevertheless, this is certainly a basket of Super Bowl bread rolls fit for any man. I mean it contains all the things men would want as well as the high cholesterol content. Keep these away from your dog though.

20. For Super Bowl Sunday, it’s best to serve the guacamole dip as a football field.

Of course, this person couldn't afford to build a snackadium so they just stuck with a guacamole dish instead. Nevertheless, pretty clever.

Of course, this person couldn’t afford to build a snackadium so they just stuck with a guacamole dish instead. Nevertheless, pretty clever.

21. Nothing says a Super Bowl party like a red velvet football shaped and chocolate chip covered cheese ball.

Can't believe this is my second chocolate chip covered cheese football I've posted already. Guess I have a thing for chocolate. Of course, nobody can have too much of that.

Can’t believe this is my second chocolate chip covered cheese football I’ve posted already. Guess I have a thing for chocolate. Of course, nobody can have too much of that.

22. Now it seems like this person wants to honor the playoff season with hotdogs representing each team.

I wonder what the hotdog from Pittsburgh would look like. Also, why does the New York one have blue ooze on it? That can't be normal. Oh, it's supposed to represent the Giants. Also, that Green Bay hotdog looks disgusting.

I wonder what the hotdog from Pittsburgh would look like. Also, why does the New York one have blue ooze on it? That can’t be normal. Oh, it’s supposed to represent the Giants. Also, that Green Bay hotdog looks disgusting.

23. Now these are the perfect cookies for any city of Champions.

Now this person really got the team logo right on this one, which the Pittsburgh Steelers have on only one side of their helmets. Nevertheless, not bad for the 6 time Super Bowl champions, am I right?

Now this person really got the team logo right on this one, which the Pittsburgh Steelers have on only one side of their helmets. Nevertheless, not bad for the 6 time Super Bowl champions, am I right?

24. Of course, you can’t really go wrong with chocolate covered strawberries.

Still, they also make great Valentines Day gifts for men, if you know what I mean. Of course, they're also seen as a health food as well.

Still, they also make great Valentines Day gifts for men, if you know what I mean. Of course, they’re also seen as a health food as well.

25. For your Super Bowl party, why don’t you design the cupcake platter from one of your old playbooks?

I don't know about you, but I sort of wish that every football team recorded their plays like this. Seriously, it would be just all the more awesome.

I don’t know about you, but I sort of wish that every football team recorded their plays like this. Seriously, it would be just all the more awesome.

26. I’m sure this stadium cake would satisfy Green Bay Packer fan.

I actually watched that 2011 game when the Packers won the Super Bowl against the Pittsburgh Steelers. At least I got to see Adrien Brody sing in that Stela Artois commercial. Now he is a very good looking guy, my friend.

I actually watched that 2011 game when the Packers won the Super Bowl against the Pittsburgh Steelers. At least I got to see Adrien Brody sing in that Stela Artois commercial. Now he is a very good looking guy, my friend. Well, so what if he has a large nose? He’s way hotter than Channing Tatum, in my book anyway.

27. Of course, if you love seafood, here’s a football of crab spread.

Of course, this crab spread also has cheese on it, which doesn't make it kosher in some Jewish sects. This is especially true with the shellfish. Yet, if they live in Baltimore, I'm not sure that they care.

Of course, this crab spread also has cheese on it, which doesn’t make it kosher in some Jewish sects. This is especially true with the shellfish. Yet, if they live in Baltimore, I’m not sure that they care.

28. Welcome, to the Ham Sandwich Snackadium.

The stadium walls are made from ham sandwiches as I can recall. Yet, they seem to contain a lot of snack foods like Doritos, nachos, potato chips, and Ritz crackers. Still, contains lots of carbs.

The stadium walls are made from ham sandwiches as I can recall. Yet, they seem to contain a lot of snack foods like Doritos, nachos, potato chips, and Ritz crackers. Still, contains lots of carbs.

29. Now this snakadium allows you to make your own sandwich as far as I can see.

Wow, seems like there's a lot of ways you can customize your sandwich in this stadium. Unfortunately, there's only one type of bread. Yet, I'd rather have something hot instead. I don't like hoagies for some reason. Seriously, I don't.

Wow, seems like there’s a lot of ways you can customize your sandwich in this stadium. Unfortunately, there’s only one type of bread. Yet, I’d rather have something hot instead. I don’t like hoagies for some reason. Seriously, I don’t.

30. Since burgers are tailgating fare in football, why not have a football shaped burger?

I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty appropriate for a Super Bowl party. Of course, my dad would usually have some American cheese on his toasted bun.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s pretty appropriate for a Super Bowl party. Of course, my dad would usually have some American cheese on his toasted bun.

31. Wet your appetite with these rice cake footballs.

I'm sure cheese was involved here as far as I could tell. Or do rice just brown that way? Then again, at least you can dip it in something.

I’m sure cheese was involved here as far as I could tell. Or do rice just brown that way? Then again, at least you can dip it in something.

32. Behold, the cheese pizza dedicated to Super Bowl XLVI in which the New England Patriots face off against the New York Giants.

Man, that's one amazing pizza. Still, I know quite well that the Giants won this one and Eli Manning got another MVP trophy, to his older brother Peyton's dismay.

Man, that’s one amazing pizza. Still, I know quite well that the Giants won this one and Eli Manning got another MVP trophy, to his older brother Peyton’s dismay.

33. For vegetarians and health nuts out there, here’s a veggie stadium platter for you.

A healthy options, Super Bowl party vegetable platter? What kind of NFL heresy is this? Seriously, football food needs to be at least bad enough to kill a man through heart disease.

A healthy options, Super Bowl party vegetable platter? What kind of NFL heresy is this? Seriously, football food needs to be at least bad enough to kill a man through heart disease.

34. Get your child to know the calls in football with these cupcakes.

Now some of the signs on here consist of, "False Start," "Delay Game,"  "Off-Side," "Pass Interference," "Face Mask," and "Horse Collar." Still, I'm surprised they don't have the call, "Unnecessary Roughness" on here.

Now some of the signs on here consist of, “False Start,” “Delay Game,” “Off-Side,” “Pass Interference,” “Face Mask,” and “Horse Collar.” Still, I’m surprised they don’t have the call, “Unnecessary Roughness” or “Excessive Celebration” on here.

35. For the Pittsburgh Steelers heading to the Super Bowl, here’s a dessert table befit for the City of Champions.

Now let's see here: Steeler jersey cookies, Black and Gold gobs, popcorn, Steeler cupcakes, Steeler cake pops, football cake, and beer. Too bad this was assembled in 2011, when they lost the Super Bowl to the Green Bay Packers.

Now let’s see here: Steeler jersey cookies, Black and Gold gobs, popcorn, Steeler cupcakes, Steeler cake pops, football cake, and beer. Too bad this was assembled in 2011, when they lost the Super Bowl to the Green Bay Packers.

36. No cheese ball is better for the Super Bowl party than a bacon and cheese ball for your crackers.

Of course, the bacon gives this cheese football its color after being ground up into tiny bits. Still, definitely not for people with high cholesterol.

Of course, the bacon gives this cheese football its color after being ground up into tiny bits. Still, definitely not for people with high cholesterol.

37. Don’t forget to kick a field goal into these cupcakes.

Of course, I'm not sure about the yardage here. Then again, take two of these and you get a football field, albeit a very small one.

Of course, I’m not sure about the yardage here. Then again, take two of these and you get a football field, albeit a very small one.

38. Now this snackadium is just epic, literally.

Now I know this one has been done quite some time ago since they have Twinkies and Ho Hos as parked cars in the lot outside. Hostess has been out of business since 2012 at least.

Now I know this one has been done quite some time ago since they have Twinkies and Ho Hos as parked cars in the lot outside. Hostess has been out of business since 2012 at least.

39. Celebrate the Super Bowl with this football cake on the grass.

Of course, the artificial turf on this cake looks more realistic than the turf on Cougar Mountain will ever be.

Of course, the artificial turf on this cake looks more realistic than the turf on Cougar Mountain will ever be.

40. Of course, this snacktadium was made for a bar and grille.

I see this one contains beer as I see it and other dishes. Still, I wonder if that grass is real. Looks like it compared to what I've seen on Cougar Mountain, that is. Also contains helmets from almost all the NFL teams.

I see this one contains beer as I see it and other dishes. Still, I wonder if that grass is real. Looks like it compared to what I’ve seen on Cougar Mountain, that is. Also contains helmets from almost all the NFL teams.

41. Grace your Super Bowl party platter with football fritters containing potato, bacon, and cheddar cheese.

Now I'm sure my dad will really love these. Yet, I know they'd be very bad for him. Contains lots of salt, seriously. Eat enough of them and you'll get a heart attack.

Now I’m sure my dad will really love these. Yet, I know they’d be very bad for him. Contains lots of salt, seriously. Eat enough of them and you’ll get a heart attack.

42. Nothing makes a Super Bowl than a football soft pretzel.

Of course, in Pittsburgh, we call this, "the Ben Roethlisberger Special." Did I spell his name right? Seriously, did I spell his name right?

Of course, in Pittsburgh, we call this, “the Ben Roethlisberger Special.” Did I spell his name right? Seriously, did I spell his name right?

43. For frozen treats, you can’t do wrong with these football ice cream sandwiches on sticks.

The great part of these is that how the plays are written on the sticks. Still, wish real football teams did this with their plays. Maybe they'll remember them better.

The great part of these is that how the plays are written on the sticks. Still, wish real football teams did this with their plays. Maybe they’ll remember them better.

44. For all you winos out there, nothing makes a great Super Bowl party than a stadium cheese platter.

Of course, while the black olives are in position, the green olives seemed to have called a time out. Wonder if the green olives realize they're losing. Losing teams tend to do this near the end of games.

Of course, while the black olives are in position, the green olives seemed to have called a time out. Wonder if the green olives realize they’re losing. Losing teams tend to do this near the end of games.

45. Nothing makes great artificial turf for your snackadium than celery.

Okay, I bet this is the low budget version of the Super Bowl veggie platter. And they have an almond to act as a football. For those who have limited cooking skills, you might want to try this.

Okay, I bet this is the low budget version of the Super Bowl veggie platter. And they have an almond to act as a football. For those who have limited cooking skills, you might want to try this.

46. When it comes to snackadium walls, you might want to go with sandwiches on one end and lunch meat and graham crackers on the other.

What my question about this stadium is: How the hell did they get the ham, graham crackers, and pastrami to stand up like that? Seriously, how did they do it?

What my question about this stadium is: How the hell did they get the ham, graham crackers, and pastrami to stand up like that? Seriously, how did they do it?

47. I’m sure your party guests will delight in this one of a kind Super Bowl sundae.

And I guess this is with a sprinkles in a cone as well as chocolate chip mint ice cream. Can I have one, please? I'll take it. Seems like someone's about to score a touchdown.

And I guess this is with a sprinkles in a cone as well as chocolate chip mint ice cream. Can I have one, please? I’ll take it. Seems like someone’s about to score a touchdown.

48. Behold, I give you, the Super Bowl Taco Bowl.

Of course, while this item may be among the healthier dishes on this post, it may give you a case of gas by the 3rd quarter. I mean it's probably covered with refried beans for the other contents to stick to.

Of course, while this item may be among the healthier dishes on this post, it may give you a case of gas by the 3rd quarter. I mean it’s probably covered with refried beans for the other contents to stick to.

49. Nothing says a Super Bowl party than a team sized football burger.

Now I'm sure this was made by a restaurant. I mean burgers don't tend to be that big. Then again, this might be a close up image. Nevertheless, the top bun certainly looks like a real football.

Now I’m sure this was made by a restaurant. I mean burgers don’t tend to be that big. Then again, this might be a close up image. Nevertheless, the top bun certainly looks like a real football.

50. For the kids, I’m sure these football cookies will do quite nicely.

I don't know about you but I really like these expressions on these football. I also love the use of sprinkles for the crowds on the football stadium ones, too.

I don’t know about you but I really like these expressions on these football. I also love the use of sprinkles for the crowds on the football stadium ones, too.

51. Now these cheese potato skin footballs make a great side dish for your Super Bowl party.

Of course, I thought this was a scalped potato dish, wondering, how did they managed to get a dish shaped like that? Then I realized that was potato skin.

Of course, I thought this was a scalped potato dish, wondering, how did they managed to get a dish shaped like that? Then I realized that was potato skin.

52. Score on the big game day with this football shaped veggie platter.

Have to love how the old pig skin is made from peppers, carrots, and cherry tomatoes. The turf is represented by the broccoli.

Have to love how the old pig skin is made from peppers, carrots, and cherry tomatoes. The turf is represented by the broccoli.

53. Nothing scores bigger on your Super Bowl dessert platter than these football cake pops.

Sure these might be covered in chocolate, but, hey, I'll take a bite out of one of them. Nevertheless, cute.

Sure these might be covered in chocolate, but, hey, I’ll take a bite out of one of them. Nevertheless, very fitting for the big game.

54. Now I’m sure your guests will be delighted with these tasty football brownies.

Now these brownies look so delicious that it's making me hungry. Seriously, I really love brownies and chocolate.

Now these brownies look so delicious that it’s making me hungry. Seriously, I really love brownies and chocolate.

55. For your desserts during the half-time show, take a time out with this pull apart football cake.

Because if this doesn't distract you from looking at Katie Perry's boobs, I don't know what will. Still, love the icing, yet I wish the cupcakes were chocolate though.

Because if this doesn’t distract you from looking at Katie Perry’s boobs, I don’t know what will. Still, love the icing, yet I wish the cupcakes were chocolate though.

56. I’m sure this football shaped tortilla sandwich will make a great Super Bowl entree during the game.

Of course this may be a seven layer dip with tortillas overlapping each topping. I'd proceed this dish with caution if I were you.

Of course this may be a seven layer dip with tortillas overlapping each topping. I’d proceed this dish with caution if I were you.

57. If Rice Krispie football treats aren’t your thing, perhaps go with a superized one.

However, though this might be the size of a real football, doesn't mean you should pass it around with your guests. Seriously, don't.

However, though this might be the size of a real football, doesn’t mean you should pass it around with your guests. Seriously, don’t.

58. If you don’t want to give your guests coronaries, then perhaps cover your football cheese ball with nuts.

Of course, ingesting too much cheese may not be good for you. Then again, at least your Orthodox Jewish guest may be allowed to take part in this dish as well.

Of course, ingesting too much cheese may not be good for you. Then again, at least your Orthodox Jewish guest may be allowed to take part in this dish as well.

59. Nothing makes a Super Bowl party than an appetizer dish of sauteed mushrooms.

Sauteed mushroom dish? Seems more like something you'd serve for a Wimbledon party to me. And only rich folks attend those.

Sauteed mushroom dish? Seems more like something you’d serve for a Wimbledon party to me. And only rich folks attend those.

60. Nobody can do much wrong with these field cupcakes for their Super Bowl parties.

Warning: green icing may cause your guests to sport green lips, which are much more appropriate for Saint Patrick's Day.

Warning: green icing may cause your guests to sport green lips, which are much more appropriate for Saint Patrick’s Day.

61. Presenting the Super Bowl salad bowl.

And it looks like the salads in this arrangement is being served in tortilla bowls. Also, is that salad dressing or masking tape?

And it looks like the salads in this arrangement is being served in tortilla bowls. Also, is that salad dressing or masking tape?

62. Score a touchdown at your Super Bowl party with these football bites.

Now these bites seem to contain, Ritz crackers, kielbasa slices, and cheddar cheese. And I guess the lines are drawn with salad dressing.

Now these bites seem to contain, Ritz crackers, kielbasa slices, and cheddar cheese. And I guess the lines are drawn with salad dressing.

63. During the Super Bowl, the best way to eat fruit salad is via a watermelon helmet.

Fruit helmet? Hey, kid, football isn't the sport for queers (I'm just kidding on this, seriously). Also, that dish doesn't seem to fit the dietary guidelines for football food, which is supposed to be bad for the arteries.

Fruit helmet? Hey, kid, football isn’t the sport for queers (I’m just kidding on this, seriously). Also, that dish doesn’t seem to fit the dietary guidelines for football food, which is supposed to be bad for the arteries.

64. Nothing makes a great Super Bowl party than a dish of refried dip shaped like a football.

Warning: May cause gas like in the iconic Blazing Saddles scene if this isn't seven layers. Then again, football is more of a men's sport anyway and Super Bowl Sunday more of a men's holiday.

Warning: May cause gas like in the iconic Blazing Saddles scene if this isn’t seven layers. Then again, football is more of a men’s sport anyway and Super Bowl Sunday more of a men’s holiday.

65. Oh, when the Saints go marchin’ in. Oh, when the New Orleans Saints go marchin’ in….

Of course, after winning the Super Bowl in 2010, they became implicated in a high profile scandal in which the coach issued bounties on certain players for his crew to beat up. They haven't been as good since.

Of course, after winning the Super Bowl in 2010, they became implicated in a high profile scandal in which the coach issued bounties on certain players for his crew to beat up. They haven’t been as good since. So much for living up to their name.

66. Of course, nothings honors the big day like a Super Bowl gingerbread stadium.

I don't think this display was made for eating. Nevertheless, it's going in the post anyway. Seriously, it's very good artistry.

I don’t think this display was made for eating. Nevertheless, it’s going in the post anyway. Seriously, it’s very good artistry.

67. Of course, when the Steelers are playing in the Super Bowl, you can’t do without a Terrible Towel cake.

Now the tradition of the Terrible Towel began with the Pittsburgh Steeler's announcer Myron Cope during the team's glory days in the 1970s. It's been a Pittsburgh Steeler tradition since then. Sadly, Myron died in 2008 but he'd always be remember as a local sports personality.

Now the tradition of the Terrible Towel began with the Pittsburgh Steeler’s announcer Myron Cope during the team’s glory days in the 1970s. It’s been a Pittsburgh Steeler tradition since then. Sadly, Myron died in 2008 but he’d always be remember as a local sports personality.

68. Show your support for the Green Bay Packers with this cheese head cake.

The main reason why the Green Bay Packers fans are called, "Cheese Heads" is because the team was originally founded and sponsored by a food packing company. Also, because of Wisconsin's association with dairy products.

The main reason why the Green Bay Packers fans are called, “Cheese Heads” is because the team was originally founded and sponsored by a food packing company. Also, because of Wisconsin’s association with dairy products.

69. Nothing makes a great Super Bowl party than a cake of the Vince Lombardi trophy.

I'm sure this cake is professionally made and that trophy is just a replica as far as I can see. Looks very well done though.

I’m sure this cake is professionally made and that trophy is just a replica as far as I can see. Looks very well done though.

70. I now give you, Graham Cracker Snackadium.

Though the outside is graham crackers the inside tends to be aluminum foil, crackers, and guacamole. Still a great snack platter though.

Though the outside is graham crackers the inside tends to be aluminum foil, crackers, and guacamole. Still a great snack platter though.