When they join the Snow Scouts, Bruce ask the elder Baudelaires to tell a story as they eat marshmallows before bed. But Carmelita thinks everyone should listen to her story, which is mostly a boring yard on how wonderful she is. Yet, there’s a boy Snow Scout in a sweater who’s conveying to them in V.F.D. terms like “Volunteer Feline Detectives” and “Very Fine Drama.” Violet and Klaus relay to the sweater boy with terms like they’re not having a “Very Fun Day,” the last thing they ate was “Vinegar-Flavored Donuts,” the snow gnats are “Violent Frozen Dragonflies” and like “Voracious Fierce Dragon.” The sweatered scout suggests “Vain Fat Dictator.” Bruce later gets bored with their banter so he lets Carmelita tell her tale. After everyone goes to bed, the sweatered boy wakes the elder Baudelaires, and tells them to go with him. Since he knows a shortcut to V.F.D. headquarters at the Valley of Four Drafts. And there they go through the Vertical Flame Diversion. Nonetheless, Violet and Klaus aren’t sure whether to trust him since they don’t know who this mysterious boy is.
The song I went with here is “Little Lotte/The Mirror” from The Phantom of the Opera. In the original version, Christine and Raoul get reacquainted with each other after so many years apart. Yet, after Raoul leaves, the Phantom jealously yells at Christine for spending time with him. Mostly because Erik feels entitled to his beautiful pupil and doesn’t want any other guy to have her. In this version, I have the Baudelaires meet with the mysterious sweatered scout. Still, this song gets pretty creepy.
C’mon newbies, tell us a story
Before we feast on some marshmallows
Before we all go to bed
Everyone should listen to mine
Oh, I’d love to hear a
Very fascinating drama
Haven’t a very fun day
All we ate were just Vinegar Flavored Donuts, eew
God, those violent frozen dragonflies
Bite so much they’d eat you alive
And we didn’t even come with much supplies
More like voracious fierce dragons in my eyes
How about that vain fat dictator?
Their constant chat’s boring me to tears
Uncle, can I tell everyone a story
About how adorable and wonderful I am?
I’m sure everyone would want to hear it
Oh, no doubt of it – go ahead.
Who are you and how do you know about V.F.D.?
Well, we’ll discuss that later.
Oh, God, Carmelita, uhhh
Let’s have some marshmallows
Then we’ll talk after everyone’s asleep.
I promise you, fellow scouts.
We can’t wait.
I know a shortcut
To the headquarters
How do we know
You can be trusted
You’re just a mere stranger
Sorry, we’ve got no
Time for questions
Got to find headquarters
See that large gap on
Lets out smoke from fire
It’s called Vertical
And secret passageway
Through Valley of Four Drafts
And climb we may!
How do you know this?
Guide and stranger!
Can you explain to us?
I’ve read a book of
Borrowed from Monty’s library
Yet, why should we trust you?
How did you end up at Monty’s?
I know what xenial means
But that doesn’t prove anything
That doesn’t mean we can trust you
I’m well-read and less likely evil
What the hell, he’s got a point