The Wonderful World of Vintage Ads (Fourth Edition)

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The beginning of this year hasn’t been good to me other than Netflix premiering A Series of Unfortunate Events  and finally getting to see Rogue One of course. For the nation, we saw the end of a great presidency and the swearing of a president who I strongly believe has absolutely no conscience, has no reason to be trusted, and probably has no idea how to run the country. Oh, and his presidency has a chance to embolden white supremacists as well as inspired mass protests. On Sunday this week, the nation witnessed the Atlanta Falcons nearly winning the Super Bowl before unbelievably seizing defeat in the jaws of victory against the New England Cheetahs, excuse me, I mean Patriots. And to insult to injury, Deflategate Quarterback Tom Brady received another MVP trophy. Yes, it always sucks to see this wretched team win outside of New England of course. For me, personally, I lost my grandfather on the week of my 27th birthday which was sad and somewhat sudden but not unexpected since he was 89. Yet, his loss certainly leaves a big void in my family as well as my life. And that my birthday was on his viewing while his funeral was the next day. So perhaps it would be nice of me to perhaps put some fun blog posts in for once just to hold myself over until after Valentine’s Day. Though McDonald’s has already released their shamrock line already which I believe is premature. And I thought nothing would be better than another vintage ad post. Yes, I know these are crazy nostalgia busting ad pieces are things you can’t unsee. But please, we should understand that they belong to a time when many people consider America great that they voted a billionaire devil in ugly orange hair who brags about grabbing women by the pussy in order to make America great again. In truth, that time they nostalgize about really wasn’t that great as these ads show. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of questionable vintage advertising. Enjoy.

  1. A Kiddie-Coop keeps your baby safe and sound.
For some reason, it reminds me of a cage you'd keep your pet rabbit in. Or is it a pet turtle?

For some reason, it reminds me of a cage you’d keep your pet rabbit in. Or is it a pet turtle?

2. Satisfy your sadistic urges with a Whizooka roach gun.

Warning: Might contain poisonous chemicals that might make your family ill or kill your pets. Might affect other wildlife populations as well. Please use responsibly.

Warning: Might contain poisonous chemicals that might make your family ill or kill your pets. Might affect other wildlife populations as well. Please use responsibly.

3. Stevens: the choice of gun for any child soldier.

Okay, this kid doesn't look like he's on a duck hunt. His expression is more akin of Paul Baumer from All Quiet on the Western Front.

Okay, this kid doesn’t look like he’s on a duck hunt. His expression is more akin of Paul Baumer from All Quiet on the Western Front.

4. Give her a gift she’ll truly appreciate forever like her very own garbage disposal.

To be fair, it's probably not the worst thing to give a woman on Valentine's Day. But it's not one that inspires true romance.

To be fair, it’s probably not the worst thing to give a woman on Valentine’s Day. But it’s not one that inspires true romance.

5. “Should I leave you on the doorstep, Mom?”

Because nobody shames mothers into using a product like introducing a freaky alternative reality. I think Johnson & Johnson hired real basket cases to do this ad.

Because nobody shames mothers into using a product like introducing a freaky alternative reality. I think Johnson & Johnson hired real basket cases to do this ad.

6. Men, do you enjoy engaging in spousal abuse for kicks? The BPA Fun Center is the place for you.

Okay, I get that this ad doesn't intend to promote domestic violence against women at any time. It's supposed to be for a place like Dave & Busters. But the slogan is just so wrong.

Okay, I get that this ad doesn’t intend to promote domestic violence against women at any time. It’s supposed to be for a place like Dave & Busters. But the slogan is just so wrong.

7. Campbell’s Soup: the #1 soup for the budding child psychopath.

Because there's nothing that your budding psychokiller won't enjoy more than some very salty chicken noodle soup. Campbells Mmmmm....salt.

Because there’s nothing that your budding psychokiller won’t enjoy more than some very salty chicken noodle soup. Campbells Mmmmm….salt.

8. Dr. Pepper is always healthy and invigorating that you’d want to get naked at the beach.

So in the early 1900s it was perfectly okay to feature naked women in order to sell stuff. And they thought women wear to little in our advertising.

So in the early 1900s it was perfectly okay to feature naked women in order to sell stuff. And they thought women wear to little in our advertising.

9. Keep yourselves healthy all winter long with a GE sunlamp.

The baby in the doctor's outfit is quite freaky if you ask me. Also, I'm not sure if sun lamps are good for you anyway.

The baby in the doctor’s outfit is quite freaky if you ask me. Also, I’m not sure if sun lamps are good for you anyway.

10. Thanks to Planetary Pencil Pointer, a woman can now sharpen her pencil.

Uh, sharpening pencils doesn't require a lot of physical strength to begin with. Even if you don't use a crank. Seriously, this is just sexist garbage.

Uh, sharpening pencils doesn’t require a lot of physical strength to begin with. Even if you don’t use a crank. Seriously, this is just sexist garbage. But at least it comes from a company whose name is quite fitting.

11. Thanks to DDT, this baby no longer has to worry about the pesky flies.

Unfortunately, you couldn't say the same for the other baby creatures out there. Since DDT has led to thinning eggshells on multiple birds of prey who eat fly infested vermin. This has put a lot of animals on the Endangered Species List.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t say the same for the other baby creatures out there. Since DDT has led to thinning eggshells on multiple birds of prey who eat fly infested vermin. This has put a lot of animals on the Endangered Species List.

12. Doctors agree that Camel cigarettes are great for a child’s health and life expectancy.

Yes, the little girl thinks she'll live to be a hundred when she starts smoking. But what's more likely to happen is that she'll probably end up with a slew of respiratory problems before dying of lung cancer before reaching 60.

Yes, the little girl thinks she’ll live to be a hundred when she starts smoking. But what’s more likely to happen is that she’ll probably end up with a slew of respiratory problems before dying of lung cancer before reaching 60.

13. Problems in your sex life? Well, look no further than in the self-help book Eugenics and Sex Harmony.

Not recommended for ethnic minorities, poor people, and the disabled. Who shouldn't be having feeble minded kids anyway. Seriously, what else does eugenics mean?

Not recommended for ethnic minorities, poor people, and the disabled. Who shouldn’t be having feeble minded kids anyway. Seriously, what else does eugenics mean?

14. Horton’s furniture says let him worry about Vietnam while you ladies think about getting a new sofa.

To be fair, women weren't subjected to the draft in the late 1960s. However, this ad is incredibly sexist just the same for obvious reasons.

To be fair, women weren’t subjected to the draft in the late 1960s. However, this ad is incredibly sexist just the same for obvious reasons.

15. Finally, a scrapbook for the “Homely Woman,” only so they know how to pass as pretty.

Because, ladies, if you can't be a delicate flower who can fit in a suffocating corset, then no man will want you. By the way, if it helps you, Eleanor Roosevelt wasn't considered a great beauty in her day but managed to find a man anyway. Even if he was her 5th cousin. Though her great asset was her brains.

Because, ladies, if you can’t be a delicate flower who can fit in a suffocating corset, then no man will want you. By the way, if it helps you, Eleanor Roosevelt wasn’t considered a great beauty in her day but managed to find a man anyway. Even if he was her 5th cousin who cheated on her.

16. Enhance your respiratory capabilities with a wonderful lung expander.

I don't know about you, but it seems like this boy is taking in air through a vacuum resembling a flying saucer. Makes me scratch my head.

I don’t know about you, but it seems like this boy is taking in air through a vacuum resembling a flying saucer. Makes me scratch my head.

17. A Singer sewing machine is sewing made easy.

While Mom teaches little Susie how to use this thing, little Susie wants to know how she can use this machine to knock down little Timmy from across the street. Because she doesn't see much use in sewing clothes.

While Mom teaches little Susie how to use this thing, little Susie wants to know how she can use this machine to knock down little Timmy from across the street. Because she doesn’t see much use in sewing clothes.

18. Vigoro makes your lawn as good as it looks.

So go ahead let your toddler play outside with his diaper. Then again, from that boy's look, I feel more for the cat.

So go ahead let your toddler play outside with his diaper. Then again, from that boy’s look, I feel more for the cat.

19. Women, if your husband won’t have sex with you, you might be using the wrong vagina cleaner. So consider Zonite.

For some reason, I consider such ads about "feminine hygiene" that shames women for dirty private parts among the most sexist. These are clearly about shaming women for not keeping their vaginas clean enough. Good God.

For some reason, I consider such ads about “feminine hygiene” that shames women for dirty private parts among the most sexist. These are clearly about shaming women for not keeping their vaginas clean enough. Good God.

20. Parker: making pens for women before Bic did. Because girls have smaller hands.

Ellen Degeneres did a whole comedy bit on this which was hilarious. Seriously, women have been using regular pens for years. The idea women need special pens for them is just stupid.

Ellen Degeneres did a whole comedy bit on this which was hilarious. Seriously, women have been using regular pens for years. The idea women need special pens for them is just stupid.

21. Champion’s Mustard: the perfect condiment for a midsummer’s night dream.

Are those supposed to be black? Because if they are, I have a bad feeling about this. Also, Bottom looks like he's just wearing a donkey head.

Are those supposed to be black? Because if they are, I have a bad feeling about this. Also, Bottom looks like he’s just wearing a donkey head.

22. Keep your kids from falling out of the car with a Dickson Rear automatic door lock.

Because this car surely didn't come with a built-in child safety locks on the doors. Or seatbelts for that matter.

Because this car surely didn’t come with a built-in child safety locks on the doors. Or seatbelts for that matter.

23. Incompatible really means “the wife has a dirty vagina problem.” So fix it withe Lysol.

So in olden days, doctors encouraged women to put cleaning products in their hoohahs. Jesus Christ, that's a really super dumb way to fix your relationship.

So in olden days, doctors encouraged women to put cleaning products in their hoohahs. Jesus Christ, that’s a really super dumb and dangerous way to fix your relationship. Marriage counseling would be safer.

24. Put your man at ease over causing the fender bender with a pie made from Jell-O pudding.

So Jell-O believes that women are bad drivers. What a bunch of sexist assholes.

So Jell-O believes that women are bad drivers. What a bunch of sexist assholes.

25. Softness is what boys always find desirable in girls. So try Baby Soft.

Please let this girl be at least 18. Also, why the hell do they have an adult cosmetics like called Baby Soft? That's just freaky.

Please let this girl be at least 18. Also, why the hell do they have an adult cosmetics like called Baby Soft? That’s just freaky.

26. Pratts Healing Ointment cures both man and beast.

However, going to bed with your horse, well, that's not necessarily encouraged. Seriously, that's kind of sick if you think about it.

However, going to bed with your horse, well, that’s not necessarily encouraged. Seriously, that’s kind of sick if you think about it.

27. Do it on the floor with the love rug.

"The Love Rug strokes your bodies as you make love." So how can a rug do that. Also, is that David Hasselhoff?

“The Love Rug strokes your bodies as you make love.” So how can a rug do that. Also, is that David Hasselhoff?

28. Killed your husband and need to getaway fast? Broadway Deluxe Cab is at your service.

It's the cab service you call when you need to get out before the police arrive and find your prints all over the gun. I don't know about you, but I don't think this is an appropriate ad campaign in the least.

It’s the cab service you call when you need to get out before the police arrive and find your prints all over the gun. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think this is an appropriate ad campaign in the least.

29. Wash your boy’s hair with Lucky Tiger Hair Tonic so he won’t lose it when he’s older.

Unfortunately, Lucky Tiger won't prevent hair loss if baldness runs in your family. Because that's determined by genetics, folks. But some will lose their hair earlier than others.

Unfortunately, Lucky Tiger won’t prevent hair loss if baldness runs in your family. Because that’s determined by genetics, folks. But some will lose their hair earlier than others.

30. Keep your calls secret with a voice silencer.

Wonder how that works. I'm sure it won't be effective if you're on a party line.

Wonder how that works. I’m sure it won’t be effective if you’re on a party line.

31. Stop being bored by going on a trip to Disneyland.

After all, you probably need it as much as you need a hole in the head. Okay, that doesn't send a very good message.

After all, you probably need it as much as you need a hole in the head. Okay, that doesn’t send a very good message.

32. Thought your kid would be a different gender? Rexall’s got you covered.

So what if he was hoping for a boy and got a girl? I'm sure his daughter will appreciate the Panda bear teddy anyway. Also, kids are too young for all that sporting equipment anyway.

So what if he was hoping for a boy and got a girl? I’m sure his daughter will appreciate the Panda bear teddy anyway. Also, kids are too young for all that sporting equipment anyway.

33. King Electric Furnaces are stacked for comfort so you can safely sit on one with your bare ass.

Well, I have to hand it for King in this case even though I usually don't approve of naked women. But this one shows that you can sit on their furnace and not burn your ass off. What can be better than that.

Well, I have to hand it for King in this case even though I usually don’t approve of naked women. But this one shows that you can sit on their furnace and not burn your ass off. What can be better than that.

34. Have your dogs get in shape while you drive with a “canine exerciser.”

As someone who's watched Vacation, tying your dog to a car can constitute as animal cruelty and kill them. A canine exerciser is a great way to get your local Humane Society to hate you.

As someone who’s watched Vacation, tying your dog to a car can constitute as animal cruelty and kill them. A canine exerciser is a great way to get your local Humane Society to hate you.

35. All these pretty women can’t find husbands because of one crucial problem.

I think I know where this is going. Let me guess, dirty vaginas? Seriously, why the obsession?

I think I know where this is going. Let me guess, dirty vaginas? Seriously, why the obsession?

36. Nothing cures domestic squabbles like Arpege perfume.

From Tinsel Creation: "'“Mommy, don’t cry… I’m sure Daddy’s giving you Arpège.' Nothing sells a classic like the suggestion of domestic violence, apparently. Promise her anything…"

From Tinsel Creation: “‘“Mommy, don’t cry… I’m sure Daddy’s giving you Arpège.’ Nothing sells a classic like the suggestion of domestic violence, apparently. Promise her anything…”

37. Sold digestive problems with Burdock’s Pills.

For some reason, this add suggests that your liver helps you shit. I'm not so sure whoever came up with this ad understands human anatomy.

For some reason, this add suggests that your liver helps you shit. I’m not so sure whoever came up with this ad understands human anatomy.

38. Do you still beat your wife? Keep it up.

This is for a booklet titled, "Why You Should Beat Your Wife." You read that right. This ad promotes domestic abuse, for God's sake. What the hell?

This is for a booklet titled, “Why You Should Beat Your Wife.” You read that right. This ad promotes domestic abuse, for God’s sake. What the hell?

39. Planning to kill your wife sometime soon? Get her an Albany Life insurance policy first.

The fact this ad features knives, pills, bleach, and a pillow makes it seem like this insurance company wants guys to kill their wives. Couldn't they feature something less disturbing like funeral stuff?

The fact this ad features knives, pills, bleach, and a pillow makes it seem like this insurance company wants guys to kill their wives. Couldn’t they feature something less disturbing like funeral stuff?

40. Lavine soap gets things clean.

But please treat yourself to this naked kid about to strangle a swan with bare hands. Hey, that's what it looks like to me.

But please treat yourself to this naked kid about to strangle a swan with bare hands. Hey, that’s what it looks like to me.

41. Centaur Massage cologne is half-man, half-beast but all male.

It's the kind of cologne an Ancient Greek man would want to be massaged with by a skimpy clad woman. Still, given a centaur's body hair abundance, would anyone want to mate with one? Especially after what the centaurs might've done to Umbridge.

It’s the kind of cologne an Ancient Greek man would want to be massaged with by a skimpy clad woman. Still, given a centaur’s body hair abundance, would anyone want to mate with one? Especially after what the centaurs might’ve done to Umbridge.

42. The hotter the day, the more you need Ethyl gasoline.

Note that Ethyl has become notorious for its tetraled gasoline which has contributed to a ton of deadly pollution in the atmosphere and posed significant health risks. The guy who invented this would later create CFCs that would cause a hole in the ozone layer.

Note that Ethyl has become notorious for its tetraled gasoline which has contributed to a ton of deadly pollution in the atmosphere and posed significant health risks. The guy who invented this would later create CFCs that would cause a hole in the ozone layer.

43. Joy’s Cigarettes are great for your asthma.

In reality, they'll only exacerbate your asthma and lead to other health problems that could kill you. And no, they're not safe for children at all.

In reality, they’ll only exacerbate your asthma and lead to other health problems that could kill you. And no, they’re not safe for children at all.

44. Remember, ladies, your bad breath will drive your man away.

I'm sure in plenty of relationships didn't end because the woman had bad breath or used the wrong toothpaste. Also, what's the spider web suppose to mean?

I’m sure in plenty of relationships didn’t end because the woman had bad breath or used the wrong toothpaste. Also, what’s the spider web suppose to mean?

45. Need to stop for a few things? Keep your kids in the car while you visit a 7-Eleven.

Nowadays, keeping your kids in the car might get you arrested for child neglect during the summer. Because keeping your kids in a hot car is a major parenting no-no.

Nowadays, keeping your kids in the car might get you arrested for child neglect during the summer. Because keeping your kids in a hot car is a major parenting no-no.

46. Now you can make your home gay with Gaytop table covers.

I'm sure this ad gets unintentional shits and giggles because "gay" has a different connotation these days. The smiling guy in the plaid shirt make this ad even funnier.

I’m sure this ad gets unintentional shits and giggles because “gay” has a different connotation these days. The smiling guy in the plaid shirt make this ad even funnier.

47. Zonite: the feminine hygiene product for whenever your ginie gets too dirty for lovemaking.

Whenever I see ads like this, I tend to wonder why were they so obsessed with women keeping clean vaginas. This is ridiculous.

Whenever I see ads like this, I tend to wonder why were they so obsessed with women keeping clean vaginas. This is ridiculous.

48. A Sears Kenmore Stove is designed for wives but built for husbands.

So does this mean Kenmore thinks women belong in the kitchen? Because it sure seems like it.

So does this mean Kenmore thinks women belong in the kitchen? Because it sure seems like it.

49. “Are you sure I’d still be a virgin with Tampax?”

For the love of God, asking whether using Tampax hurts one's virginity is like asking whether Harry Potter will lead kids to sorcery and devil worship. We both obviously know that such concepts are utterly ridiculous to even think about. Jesus Christ!

For the love of God, asking whether using Tampax hurts one’s virginity is like asking whether Harry Potter will lead kids to sorcery and devil worship. We both obviously know that such concepts are utterly ridiculous to even think about. Jesus Christ!

50. Save your marriage by changing to Lipton Tea.

No, I don't think changing tea brands improves relationships. Except maybe during the American Revolution but otherwise not really.

No, I don’t think changing tea brands improves relationships. Except maybe during the American Revolution but otherwise not really.

51. Ladies, you can lose your man in a minute if you don’t wash your mouth with Listerine.

Look, if your man leaves you for having bad breath, then it's more likely he's the problem not you. And you're probably better off without Mr. Shallowpants.

Look, if your man leaves you for having bad breath, then it’s more likely he’s the problem not you. And you’re probably better off without Mr. Shallowpants anyway.

52. Don’t let menstrual panic happen to you, use Modess sanitary napkins.

Sure women experience period leakage all the time and it's embarrassing. However, this ad makes such worries severe enough for them to need a psychiatrist.

Sure women experience period leakage all the time and it’s embarrassing. However, this ad makes such worries severe enough for them to need a psychiatrist.

53. These days a girl doesn’t have to be pretty to be popular.

And I suppose you don't have to be a good hospital to be popular. Seriously, why would a girl snorting cocaine be a good way for a hospital to advertise? Were they trying to say they have a good drug treatment center? Because this picture doesn't make them look good at all.

And I suppose you don’t have to be a good hospital to be popular. Seriously, why would a girl snorting cocaine be a good way for a hospital to advertise? Were they trying to say they have a good drug treatment center? Because this picture doesn’t make them look good at all.

54. Husband more frigid than usual but won’t say why? Maybe because it’s stinky down there.

Or that her husband's head is literally frozen inside an ice cube. So I don't think cleaning her privates will help her in this case.

Or that her husband’s head is literally frozen inside an ice cube. So I don’t think cleaning her privates will help her in this case.

55. For women who want a better figure, try Jantzen girdles.

Think of it as spanx in your grandmother's time. Also, who the hell hangs up their laundry in their underwear? Not to mention, you can barely see it on her that her ass almost looks bare.

Think of it as spanx in your grandmother’s time. Also, who the hell hangs up their laundry in their underwear? Not to mention, you can barely see it on her that her ass almost looks bare.

56. A woman should always make sure whether her panties are up to date.

So you mean a woman has to have the latest panties? Seriously, if her panties aren't falling apart and fit her fine, then she doesn't need new ones. Because what she wears underneath is nobody's goddamned business.

So you mean a woman has to have the latest panties? Seriously, if her panties aren’t falling apart and fit her fine, then she doesn’t need new ones. Because what she wears underneath is nobody’s goddamned business.

57. Duraglas baby food shouldn’t leave a tiny bit to waste.

This baby's like, "Please, don't stick that into my mouth. Are you really not trying to poison me?"

This baby’s like, “Please, don’t stick that into my mouth. Are you really not trying to poison me?”

58. Smoke all you want with Jolt cigarettes.

Because odds are, you won't have much time in this world anyway. Since your chain-smoking habit will most likely cause you to die from lung cancer.

Because odds are, you won’t have much time in this world anyway. Since your chain-smoking habit will most likely cause you to die from lung cancer.

59. Do you inhale? Smoke Chesterfields.

Man, can't believe this slogan was used to get people to buy cigarettes since it's mostly used around pot smoking. Also, the woman doesn't seem to have much on her.

Man, can’t believe this slogan was used to get people to buy cigarettes since it’s mostly used around pot smoking. Also, the woman doesn’t seem to have much on her.

60. Church toilet seats are always a stunning improvement.

"And it has easy handling so Ray won't have to struggle putting it down after he pees." Sorry, but I couldn't resist.

“And it has easy handling so Ray won’t have to struggle putting it down after he pees.” Sorry, but I couldn’t resist.

61. Smoke Phillip Morris the throat tested cigarette.

I think my grandma recently talked about the creepy bellhop guy with the pack. And yes, he kind of belongs in a Stephen King novel.

I think my grandma recently talked about the creepy bellhop guy with the pack. And yes, he kind of belongs in a Stephen King novel.

62. Save money on women’s underwear during the JC Penny Father’s Day Sale.

It's especially disturbing it has the line, "We have exactly what you need that will satisfy and bring a smile to your father's face!" It's almost as if this ad was tailor made for Ivanka Trump.

It’s especially disturbing it has the line, “We have exactly what you need that will satisfy and bring a smile to your father’s face!” It’s almost as if this ad was tailor made for Ivanka Trump. Sorry, but that can’t be helped.

63. Iver Johnson Revolvers are the gun for the housewife left alone at night.

So a woman needs a gun to protect herself whenever someone knocks on the door. Sorry, but if you have to be armed to answer the door, you probably need to see a therapist.

So a woman needs a gun to protect herself whenever someone knocks on the door. Sorry, but if you have to be armed to answer the door, you probably need to see a therapist.

64. Upset that all the thin girls get more attention, then reduce your ugly fat with Ry-Krisp.

What a way to fat shame a woman in public, jerkass? For God's sake, she doesn't look that bad and I'm sure some guys would find her attractive despite her weight.

What a way to fat shame a woman in public, jerkass? For God’s sake, she doesn’t look that bad and I’m sure some guys would find her attractive despite her weight.

65. Dr. Swift is an expert in health who’ll teach you how to improve your sex life with a fine gentle massage.

Pardon me for reading too into this but this ad comes off as promoting a 19th century sex talk. Because the guy obviously has his hands up a woman's skirt. Okay, maybe it's just a doctor exam.

Pardon me for reading too into this but this ad comes off as promoting a 19th century sex talk. Because the guy obviously has his hands up a woman’s skirt. Okay, maybe it’s just a doctor exam.

66. Kids are always in the mood for toast and jam.

It's just the kind of treat for the kid who just came home for torturing the cat. Or the neighbor kid who creepily peaks through your blinds.

It’s just the kind of treat for the kid who just came home for torturing the cat. Or the neighbor kid who creepily peaks through your blinds.

67. Have your pooch travel in comfort with the “Bird-dog’s Palace.”

Because nothing shows you're good with animals like attaching a cage to the side of your car. And having that cage sport barred windows.

Because nothing shows you’re good with animals like attaching a cage to the side of your car. And having that cage sport barred windows.

68. Lighten the White Man’s Burden by using Pear’s Soap for cleanliness.

Because nothing brings the fresh smell of colonialism and culture superiority like Pear's. Man, this is epically racist with nods to Imperialism.

Because nothing brings the fresh smell of colonialism and culture superiority like Pear’s. Man, this is epically racist with nods to Imperialism.

69. The Gold Dust Twins are always the right brothers for cleaning.

But they're the wrong brothers when it comes to promoting diversity and multiculturalism. Seriously, Gold Dust might want to retire their virulently racist mascots.

But they’re the wrong brothers when it comes to promoting diversity and multiculturalism. Seriously, Gold Dust might want to retire their virulently racist mascots.

70. Keep your child safe in the car by tying them down to this safety harness.

Imagine what parents had to do to keep their kids safe in the car before they started requiring seatbelts. Probably won't recommend it.

Imagine what parents had to do to keep their kids safe in the car before they started requiring seatbelts. Probably won’t recommend it.

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A Primer on Sanctuary Cities in the United States

 

sanctuary-city.jpg

Federal immigration officials often rely on local law enforcement to identify people who may be in violation of immigration laws. But some jurisdictions would refuse to turn over suspected undocumented immigrants to the Immigration and Customs Enforcement. The process goes as follows. Police arrest immigrants for reasons unrelated to their immigration status and are booked in local jails. There, their fingerprints are taken and eventually shared with Immigration and Customs Enforcement which is required by law. ICE will ask officials to hold individuals if they’re in violation of immigration laws while ICE obtains a warrant. County and municipal policies dictate whether to comply, or release the individuals in question. Depending on local criteria, a sanctuary jurisdiction wouldn’t comply.

sanctuarycities

Sanctuary cities have been a major topic in recent years and are mainly believed to be liberal metropolises that are riddled with crime. Conservatives often argue in favor of defunding them and they aren’t seen as popular. However, sanctuary communities have been on the rise and not for the reasons conservatives think.

In recent times, the topic of sanctuary cities has attracted a lot of attention since undocumented immigration is a very controversial subject almost everyone has an opinion about. And this issue has been pushed by Republicans who call sanctuary cities as a crime ridden hellholes that should be defunded in order to get with the program. Congressional Republicans have introduced bills targeting these places, while Republican governors and state legislators have enacted policies banning them. Either way, Republican politicians have campaigned against sanctuary cities during the 2016 election. And now newly President Cheeto Pussygrabber has signed an executive order directing the Attorney General and the Secretary of Homeland Security to defund sanctuary jurisdictions refusing to comply with federal immigration law. Also, he issued the Department of Homeland Security to begin issuing public reports including, “a comprehensive list of criminal actions committed by aliens and any jurisdiction that ignored or otherwise failed to honor any detainers with respect to such aliens.” However, a George Mason law professor argued that Mr. Raging Orange Rug Hair’s withholding of federal funding to these places would be unconstitutional: “Trump and future presidents could use [the executive order] to seriously undermine constitutional federalism by forcing dissenting cities and states to obey presidential dictates, even without authorization from Congress. The circumvention of Congress makes the order a threat to separation of powers, as well.” Nevertheless, sanctuary communities have been on the rise, especially in my home state of Pennsylvania where they now consist of half the state. And it’s likely that Pittsburgh may be on its way. Though that hasn’t stopped the State House from passing an anti-sanctuary bill mandating that these counties and municipalities honor ICE requests to hold a person in custody for at least 48 hours or else no state grants for law enforcement.

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Here is Senator Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania. In 2016, he distinguished himself as a high profile opponent of sanctuary cities and has proposed to defund these criminal hellholes. But in a sick twist of irony, one of these would be his home county of Lehigh which became the setting for a major case that made sanctuary communities much more popular in Pennsylvania.

So what are sanctuary cities? Are they really as horrible as they say? And why have they been on the rise in recent years? You might think these policies are designed to protect undocumented immigrants. But the reality is far more complicated than what most people even imagine. And they’re often so misunderstood. Perhaps I can show you an FAQ to answer your questions.

What is a sanctuary city?

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When people think about sanctuary cities, they often think of San Francisco. However, sanctuary cities is kind of misnomer since sanctuary polices have been adopted by states as well as all kinds of municipalities. Sometimes this is through written policy while other times it’s through certain practices. These policies and practices differ throughout jurisdictions. However, just to be convenient we’re just going to define sanctuary jurisdictions as places who refuse to honor ICE detainers by themselves for whatever reason.

A sanctuary city is a jurisdiction that’s adopted a policy protecting undocumented immigrants by not prosecuting them for violating federal immigration laws in the country in which they’re now living. Such policy can be set out expressly in law (as in local ordinance) or observed only in practice (like a don’t ask, don’t tell policy). It generally applies to cities that don’t use municipal funds or resources to enforce nationally immigration laws and usually forbid police or municipal employees to inquire about a person’s immigration status. The designation has no precise legal meaning. Policies and practices differ throughout the country.

How many sanctuary cities are there?

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This map is from a study at Temple University in Philadelphia. It shows how each county in the state deals with ICE detainer requests. I should also like to point out that many of these sanctuary counties don’t like to be viewed as such and went for Trump in 2016. And they’re certainly not the places you think of when we talk about sanctuary cities.

According to the Immigrant Legal Resource Center, sanctuary policies limiting how much local police can cooperate with requests from federal authorities to hold immigrants in detention are present in 4 states, 39 cities, and 364 counties. These include almost every county in Colorado, Oregon, and New York as well as most of Florida as well as California, Vermont, Rhode Island and Connecticut, and several major cities on the East Coast. And they’re not just limited to liberal and urban areas either. For instance, if you look at a map of Pennsylvania from a study at Temple, you’d notice that there are sanctuary policies in my home jurisdiction of Westmoreland County as well as in Fayette, Washington, Somerset, Armstrong, Butler, Clarion, Erie, Blair, and Bedford as of 2017. And the ones I just described have only had sanctuary policies in their books since September. All of these counties went for Trump in 2016 and probably would rather see the undocumented living among them deported. Which is why local officials try to distance themselves from the loaded “sanctuary” label.

Are sanctuary cities legal?

It’s hard to say. The Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996 has outlawed cities’ bans against municipal workers’ reporting people’s immigration status to federal authorities as well as established minor crimes as grounds for deportation. Its Section 287(g) allows state and local law enforcement personnel to enter into agreements with the federal government to be trained in immigration enforcement that would help them enforce immigration law. But it provides no general power for immigration enforcement by state and local authorities. However, such provision was only implemented by state and local authorities in California, Arizona, Alabama, Florida, and North Carolina as of 2006. Furthermore, 8 U.S. Code § 1373 states that “a Federal, State, or local government entity or official may not prohibit, or in any way restrict, any government entity or official from sending to, or receiving from, the Immigration and Naturalization Service information regarding the citizenship or immigration status, lawful or unlawful, of any individual.” Opponents state that the Justice Department requires that most federal grant money recipients certify their compliance to federal law, which sanctuary cities violate by not asking about, recording, or submitting their residents’ immigration status to the feds.

However, though federal officials usually have to rely on local police to help enforce federal immigration laws, the law doesn’t necessarily require local authorities to detain undocumented immigrants because their federal counterparts make a request. In fact, federal courts across the country have found complying with requests is usually voluntary. To back it up, supporters often cite the Tenth Amendment that according the Immigrant Legal Resource Center, prevents the, “federal government from coercing state or local governments to use their resources to enforce a federal regulatory program, like immigration.” Thus, Congress can’t force state or local governments to collect immigrant status information in order to share it with the Feds. And because these places never collected the data in the first place, they didn’t violate federal law. Some even believe enforcing immigration should only be left to the federal government and that local law enforcement should stay out of it. So let’s just say it’s a legal tossup at the moment.

Are sanctuary cities a new thing?

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Sanctuary cities have been in California for years thanks to the Sanctuary Movement. However, while many think that California metro areas adopt these policies due to liberal leanings, we also have to account for the fact that undocumented immigrants play a key role in the state’s economy and society, especially in low-income jobs. Not to mention, past instances have led authorities focus more on building relationships with immigrant communities in order to solve crimes. In other words, local law enforcement needs undocumented immigrants to be able to contact them without fear of deportation.

No. Los Angeles was the first to initiate a sanctuary city policy in 1979 to prevent police from inquiring about arrestees’ immigration status. The internal “Special Order 40” states: “Officers shall not initiate police action with the objective of discovering the alien status of a person. Officers shall not arrest nor book persons for violation of title 8, section 1325 of the United States Immigration code (Illegal Entry).” Certain other cities have followed suit during the 1980s and after. Though recent years have also contributing other jurisdictions to the same.

So when did sanctuary cities become a national issue?

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Sanctuary cities have become more of a high profile issue in recent years due to their reputation of harboring undocumented immigrants. And much of it has been opposition by Republicans who have no idea why jurisdictions would implement these policies in the first place. This especially apparent with Pat Toomey who opposes sanctuary polices while his home Lehigh County has adopted them. And for a very good reason.

The issue entered in the national spotlight with the 2008 GOP presidential primary when Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo ran on an anti-illegal immigration platform and specifically attacked sanctuary cities. Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney also accused former mayor Rudy Giuliani of running New York City as one. Giuliani’s campaign returned the favor saying that Romney ran a sanctuary in the Governor’s mansion and that New York City isn’t a “haven” for undocumented immigrants.

Then there were reports of a series of crimes. In late June 2009, 3 undocumented immigrants were suspected of murdering a waitress in Albuquerque, New Mexico (one of whom was not deported despite being arrested for two prior DUI incidents). Then mayoral candidate Richard J. Berry decried the city’s sanctuary policy and vowed to eliminate it if elected. He defeated incumbent Mayor Martin Chavez that year.

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Kathryn Steinle’s murder by an undocumented immigrant Juan Francisco Lopez-Sanchez in 2015 had sparked a national debate about sanctuary cities. And it led to a piece of congressional legislation known as “Kate’s Law” which targeted undocumented immigrants with criminal records and multiple deportations. But as of 2017, no vote has been held.

In 2015, an undocumented immigrant with multiple deportations shot Kathryn Steinle dead in San Francisco which sparked controversy and political debate over its place as a sanctuary city. In addition, many Republican presidential candidates would blame the sanctuary city policy for Steinle’s murder and encourage the need for a secure border wall. Donald Trump would also use the incident to criticize Jeb Bush and as a rationale to deport undocumented immigrants in the US.

Meanwhile, Congress would author The Establishing Mandatory Minimums for Illegal Reentry Act of 2015 or Kate’s Law which would’ve amended the Immigration and Nationality Act to increase from two years to five years the maximum prison term for an alien who reenters after being denied admission, excluded, deported, or removed. It also would’ve established a 10-year maximum prison sentence for an alien reentering after being denied admission, excluded, deported, or removed on 3 or more prior occasions and 5-year mandatory minimum prison term for an alien who reenters after being removed following a conviction for an aggravated felony or following 2 or more prior convictions for illegal reentry.

Do sanctuary cities increase crime?

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Despite that conservatives have pointed out how sanctuary policies contribute to more crime, there is absolutely no evidence supporting that argument. However, there is evidence that might suggest that sanctuary policies might do the opposite.

According to a study by University of California at Riverside assistant professor Loren Collingwood, sanctuary policies don’t have any statistically meaningful effect on crime.

A study by associate professor Tommy K. Wong of the University of California, San Diego draws a different conclusion. “Crime is statistically significantly lower in sanctuary counties compared to nonsanctuary counties,” he wrote in a paper for the Center of American Progress. “Moreover, economies are stronger in sanctuary counties—from higher median household income, less poverty, and less reliance on public assistance to higher labor force participation, higher employment-to-population ratios, and lower unemployment.” The study evaluated sanctuary and non-sanctuary cities, “while controlling for differences in population, the foreign-born percentage of the population, and the percentage of the population that is Latino.”

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Local law enforcement in sanctuary jurisdictions often admit that they rely on undocumented immigrants to come forward and report crimes. The fact undocumented immigrants are more likely to be crime victims than anyone else and more afraid to contact the police shows why.

We should also account that local law enforcement officials favor sanctuary policies and have said they don’t want the job of enforcing federal immigration laws. In addition, they admit to relying on immigrants in their communities to come forward to report crimes. The fact undocumented immigrants are most likely to be crime victims and least likely to report crimes to the police illustrates why many police view sanctuary cities this way. Undocumented immigrants who don’t live in sanctuary jurisdictions are frequently discouraged from reporting crimes to police due to fears of deportation. And these deportation fears can limit law enforcement access to potential victims, witnesses, informants, and neighborhood advocates. Many police often say that honoring ICE detainer requirements could scare people away and don’t want law-abiding undocumented immigrants to be afraid to contact them in order to report a crime.

Do sanctuary city policies prevent police from cooperating with federal immigration authorities?

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Contrary to popular belief, while sanctuary policies may restrict police from cooperating with federal authorities, they don’t prevent it entirely. Most of the time, sanctuary policies restrict ICE cooperation with law enforcement on certain criteria. For instance, a sanctuary jurisdiction may refuse to honor ICE detainer requests because the individual warrant out against them or a criminal record to speak of. Or that the detainer isn’t backed up by a warrant from a judge.

Most sanctuary policies only limit police from cooperating with federal immigration authorities on undocumented immigrants with no criminal record to speak of. Let’s just say every jurisdiction is different but most of the time sanctuary policies specify that local authorities can’t hand over undocumented immigrants to ICE solely due to their immigration status, on minor crimes, or without any judicial warrant or court order. None of these protective policies prevent police from pursuing immigrants who commit felonies. According to a Department of Justice inspector general report, some jails in sanctuary areas only comply with a detainer request when the inmate has prior felony convictions, gang membership, or is on a terrorist watchlist. Others may reject every detainer request as well as refuse any kind of collaboration with ICE. In my home Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, county prison staff don’t accept ICE detainers unless they have a judicially authorized warrant or court order. Otherwise, the ICE detainer will be sent back to the agent. But while Westmoreland County said they’d inform ICE if a suspected undocumented immigrant is being released, most cooperation ends here. Washington County does the same thing as well as put the detainers on file for future reference. Meanwhile, Butler County’s sanctuary policy expressly forbids ICE agents from accessing the county jail or those in custody for investigative purpose. Butler also prohibits officials from using county resources to communicate with ICE regarding inmates. So whether sanctuary policies prevent local police from cooperating with ICE varies from jurisdiction.

Why would any place want to adopt sanctuary policies?

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If you want to understand why jurisdictions would adopt sanctuary policies, we should understand the Secure Communities program which was supposed to encourage federal, state, and local cooperation on deporting criminal undocumented immigrants. However, the Secure Communities program was riddled with problems, had unclear constitutionality, and resulted in incidents of abuse.

During the height of the country’s undocumented immigration challenges before the recession, law enforcement officials in some communities expressed concerns about releasing these inmates after they’ve serve time for state offenses. Some of these communities entered agreements to help federal authorities with immigration enforcement. These arrangements allowed local jails to house undocumented immigrants after they served time on state charges and bill the federal government for this service. Sometimes they passed these inmates to jails without any formal notice to family members, then into the immigration court system for an expedited removal hearing. A lot of times, people were returned to their home countries in weeks. By 2011, the Secure Communities program had been deporting more than 400,000 people per year and had over 1,210 jurisdictions participating.

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The Secure Communities program was often criticized for many of its inherent flaws such has lack of recognition of civil rights and due process as well as lack of transparency and oversight. Studies showed that most of the arrestees who were deported didn’t have any serious criminal record to speak of. There may be constitutional issues as well.

Critics often said the Secure Communities Program could generate a revenue stream for local prisons as well as violate international human rights accords. Many localities and states reported not being reimbursed for costs relating to their participation and saw the program as a strain on their resources. Civil liberties organizations called it a vehicle for cultural profiling. Some people couldn’t talk to their embassy officials from their countries or notify family members of their arrests, basically disappearing without explanation.More than one analysis of deportees and what happened during the process showed that most of these people were initially arrested for minor traffic violations, had no criminal records to speak of, or were low-level offenders who served their time. A 2011, Berkeley study showed that only 52% of Secure Communities arrestees were scheduled to have a hearing before a judge and out of those who had, only 24% were represented by an attorney. They also found that 88,000 families that included US citizens had a relative arrested under the program and that 3,600 of arrestees were US citizens. Immigrant advocates said the program deeply damaged already limited police trust in immigrant communities, making people afraid to call the cops or provide information, which these advocates saw as a threat to public safety. Thus, making these places harder to police. Also a number of court cases implied that the “detainer requests” might be unconstitutional and put cities in violation of the Fourth Amendment. Then there are have been reports that the Secure Communities program didn’t have clear complaint mechanisms as well as a lack of transparency and oversight.

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Ernesto Galarza was a part-time construction worker who was illegally held at the Lehigh County jail for 3 days pursuant of an ICE detainer without a warrant, court order, or an explanation. And the ICE detainer was issued because Allentown police suspected Galarza may be an undocumented immigrant. Even though he carried a state driver’s license and his Social Security card as well as told police he was born in Perth Amboy, New Jersey. His case sent a broad message that if local jurisdictions choose to honor ICE detainer requests, they’ll have to face the consequences if it’s against the wrong people. Such ruling has been a driving force for jurisdictions across Pennsylvania adopting sanctuary policies.

Then there’s the matter with ICE issuing detainer requests they use to gain custody of undocumented immigrants for deportation. Detainer requests aren’t supported by a finding of probable cause or court order. In other words, it’s someone could have an ICE detainer on them on mere suspicion of an undocumented immigration status which can result in being detained for more than 48 hours. So it’s no surprise that some legal experts have questioned these ICE detainers’ constitutionality. In November 2008, Allentown police arrested a part-time construction worker named Ernesto Galarza in a drug bust at his workplace on a drug offense of which he was found innocent. At the time of his arrest, Galarza showed his state driver’s license and Social Security Card from his wallet and told local officials he was born in Perth Amboy, New Jersey, which should’ve made his US citizenship obvious to law enforcement. However, because Galarza was Hispanic, the arresting officer was apparently unsure about his citizenship and called ICE. ICE issued a detainer asking prison officials to hold Galarza while ICE investigated his citizenship and immigration status. As a result, Galarza was illegally held in the Lehigh County Prison for 3 days past when he should’ve been released with no warrant, no court order, and no explanation. And it was all because of racial profiling among local law enforcement as well as ICE agents’ baseless assertion that he might be an undocumented immigrant from the Dominican Republic they were looking for. Galarza lost his part-time job because of this. In March 2014, the U.S. Third Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia found Lehigh County violated Galarza’s constitutional rights. Furthermore, the court ruled his detainer was only a request for help, not a binding order such as a federal warrant signed by a magistrate and that local governments have to pay damages for violating the rights of criminal suspects and jail inmates, not ICE. In other words, because Lehigh chose to honor the ICE detainer which resulted in a citizen’s wrongful imprisonment, it’s on them. After having to pay Galarza $95,000 in damages and attorney’s fees, the Lehigh County commissioners voted unanimously not to imprison people solely on ICE detainers against them. Other Pennsylvania counties followed suit figuring that it was safer to break federal immigration law than accidentally violate a citizen’s civil rights. Because if a local cop can get an ICE detainer against someone on merely suspecting their legal status, then it’s the federal immigration policy with the problem.

Do undocumented immigrants commit more crime than others?

To put it this way, absolutely not. Immigrants of all kinds are actually much less likely to commit crimes than native born citizens regardless of legal status. Not only that, the possibility of deportation usually gives immigrants a high incentive to obey the law. However, undocumented immigrants are far more likely to be crime victims because they’re least likely to report to the police due to threats of deportation. Now there may be some undocumented immigrants who are criminals, but the count’s not as high as 2-3 million. DHS estimates about 1.9 million while the Migration Policy Institute and Pew Research Center approximates 820,000 with some already incarcerated. Still, we should understand that undocumented crime is far less of a problem in localities than undocumented immigrants shunning contact with the police.

What about the shooting of Kathryn Steinle?

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The murder of Kathyrn Steinle is often used as a talking point for cracking down on sanctuary cities. Is San Francisco’s sanctuary policy at fault? To an extent. But despite being deported 5 times, Juan Lopez-Sanchez was a low-level drug offender who served his time. So prior to shooting Steinle with a stolen gun, there was very little reason he’d pose a danger upon his release.

I know this story is often used by sanctuary city opponents on how San Francisco’s refusal to honor a detainer for Juan Lopez-Sanchez requesting that they keep him until ICE agents arrived cost a young woman’s life. Sure Lopez-Sanchez was a convicted felon who’ve been deported 5 times. However, there’s a lot that’s misunderstood about this case. For one, Lopez-Sanchez wasn’t a violent criminal and his record mostly consisted of reentry violations and drug offense all of which he served time on. The only real danger he posed to society was endangering those who bought drugs from him. So at best he was a low-level offender who served his time. Also, multiple deportations aren’t unusual for undocumented immigrants even for those without criminal records. Not to mention, Lopez-Sanchez had been homeless since his release. Second, the reason San Francisco didn’t honor ICE’s request was because Lopez-Sanchez had no active warrant for his arrest upon his release as consistent with their sanctuary city policy upon his release from prison. Yet, while the sheriff’s failure to notify ICE about Lopez-Sanchez’s release may have cost Steinle’s life since he had no active arrest warrant, it doesn’t mean that San Francisco’s sanctuary city policy is solely at fault. And if it is, it could be easily remedied with placing rules requiring law enforcement to notify ICE on individuals with criminal history upon their release. Other sanctuary jurisdictions do that. Third, it’s very likely that Steinle’s death was an accident because Lopez-Sanchez had absolutely no idea who she was. And it’s very unlikely that he fired that stolen gun in order to kill her because he might’ve fired toward the ground before the bullet ricocheted from the pavement. Fourth, it’s very likely Steinle’s death was due to failures at the local, state, and federal levels. Sure San Francisco’s sanctuary policy may be partly to blame. Yet, the Bureau of Prisons could’ve also handed Lopez-Sanchez to ICE instead of San Francisco. Hell, they could’ve just turned him over to a California state penitentiary. Or pass laws requiring people to lock their guns before leaving them in a car. Or maybe put Lopez-Sanchez in a halfway house so he wouldn’t be shooting a gun in the street.

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The fact Lopez-Sanchez is an undocumented immigrant is only reason why Steinle’s death has generated such political outcry. However, had Lopez-Sanchez been a native-born US citizen, Steinle’s death would’ve been just as senseless and tragic. But nobody would blame it on San Francisco’s sanctuary city policy or that he should’ve been deported.

However, we should also note that prisons release crooks who go on to commit violent crimes all the time even for drug offenses like Lopez-Sanchez. Usually nobody says that such crimes could’ve been prevented had they been deported. Because most of these criminals were born in the United States. I’m sure the Bureau of Prisons has handed over US-born criminals to San Francisco authorities all the time as well as for crimes Lopez-Sanchez was charged with. It’s probably not unusual that San Francisco releases US-born prisoners without active warrants against them after they serve their time. And I’m certain it’s not unheard of for a US-born ex-con with a record like Lopez-Sanchez to kill someone shortly afterwards. Does any of that lead us to doubt whether our criminal justice system is too lenient? Sometimes. Yet, if Lopez-Sanchez was a native-born US citizen, would any politician blame San Francisco’s sanctuary policy and failure to deport him for Steinle’s death? No. Would Steinle’s murder have gotten the kind of attention it received? No. Because Lopez-Sanchez’s status as an undocumented immigrant is the sole reason why Steinle’s murder is so often used by immigration opponents to illustrate how sanctuary cities threaten public safety. But if Lopez-Sanchez wasn’t undocumented, he still would’ve posed just as much of a danger as any other violent criminal. And Steinle’s death would’ve been just as senseless and tragic even if covered just like any other murder case.

Why support sanctuary cities?

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Sanctuary jurisdictions have many reasons to implement the kind of policies they do. Sometimes it’s because undocumented immigrants contribute so much to their society. Sometimes it could be that police would rather build relationships with immigrant communities and solve crimes than enforce immigration law. And sometimes it might be due to the area having limited resources and bigger priorities, having bad experiences with ICE, and a desire to avoid legal entanglements.

Other than basic human decency and keeping families together, supporters argue that cities have bigger priorities and too few resources to handle immigration enforcement. Many local policymakers and law enforcement agencies say that immigration enforcement isn’t their responsibility and that cracking down on undocumented residents disrupts community relations and make it more difficult to do their jobs. Cops prefer to focus on routine incidents in their localities than check whether a suspect, victim, or witness is legally on US soil. Yet, supporters note that none of their protective policies in any way prevent local police from pursuing immigrants suspected of committing crimes. In places like California, it might also be due to the vital role undocumented immigrants play in its economy and society as well as their large Latino population. You can say the same for many major cities as well as areas of Colorado and Florida. Then there’s the fact a lot of these places have endured a lot of bad experiences when they did cooperate with ICE, particularly during the Secure Communities program. For the recent rise in sanctuary counties in Pennsylvania, it has less to do with favoring undocumented immigration and more to do with avoiding expensive litigation, having limited jail space, not getting paid honoring ICE detainers, and others. Because honoring ICE detainers and racial profiling in local law enforcement have led to US citizens being illegally detained as illustrated in the Galarza case in Senator Pat Toomey’s home in Lehigh County. And since detainer requests aren’t binding orders, these local governments are usually stuck with paying the most in damages over civil rights violations, which Lehigh didn’t want to repeat. In the case of Armstrong County, the federal government didn’t reimburse their costs at the desired rate when they did hold people for ICE as well as having a jail typically operating at capacity.

Why oppose sanctuary cities?

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Opponents on sanctuary policies often argue that they undermine federal enforcement efforts and compromising public safety that leads to preventable crimes. But opponents often stereotype sanctuary jurisdictions as places that are riddled with crime and lawlessness. Rather than a place that might be similar to where they live.

Opponents argue that sanctuary policies encourage undocumented immigration, undermine federal enforcement efforts, and severely compromise public safety resulting in crimes that could’ve been avoided through deportation. Furthermore, they believe that sanctuary policies keep police from investigating, questioning, and arresting people who’ve broken federal immigration law.

Is there a moral basis for sanctuary cities?

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Though the legal basis of sanctuary policies may be in limbo, the moral basis is very much sound. I mean it should be a no brainer to keep families together as well as relieve law-abiding residents of deportation fears. Besides, sanctuary policies might be the best morally solution available at the moment.

Though the legal question of sanctuary cities can be debated, the moral question may not be the case. From what I know about undocumented immigrants, most of them came to this country illegal because the federal immigration system didn’t give them any legally viable options. Most of them have been in the US for at least 10 years while some came as children who grew up calling this country home. Many children who are US citizens and even American spouses. And despite entering illegally, most undocumented immigrants hold jobs, pay taxes, obey most of the laws, celebrate national holidays, and make contributions to society in ways most Americans don’t recognize. Furthermore, most undocumented immigrants come to the US for a better life than the one they left behind, not to commit crimes that endanger public safety. The fact federal immigration policy subjects their very presence as grounds for deportation has resulted in communities wary of law enforcement, thousands of broken families, and hundreds of kids in foster homes. And there is no good way for them to gain legal status or even citizenship. Ignoring an unjust federal immigration policy by providing a safe haven for these people may not be legal, but it’s probably the best moral solution available. But since President Cheeto Fuzz assumed office, you can forget the prospect of much needed comprehensive immigration reform for the next 4-8 years because that’s just not going to happen. In addition, the fact someone could get an ICE detainer against them because a police officer suspects their legal status has led to incidents of racial profiling and illegally holding American citizens in jail for over 48 hours with no warrant, no court order, and no explanation. In that case, refusing to hold individuals solely on an ICE detainer is morally reasonable. Then there’s the matter that municipalities don’t have the resources to handle immigration enforcement as well as bigger things to worry about. Local police would rather catch criminals than crack down on otherwise law-abiding residents who could help them. To cooperate with ICE may not be in their best interests and may lead local authorities to neglect their civic responsibilities to their constituents. So yes, enacting a sanctuary policy is probably the right thing to do.

Should sanctuary cities be punished for not complying with federal immigration policy?

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If you think sanctuary cities should be defunded because they’re crime ridden areas sheltering undocumented immigrants, you might want to check if you live in one and why. If you live in Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, you should really reconsider because it’s a sanctuary county. I swear I didn’t make this up. Look it up.

No. Despite that sanctuary policies may or may not go against federal law, I don’t think penalizing them is a good idea. Now I do believe that states and localities should adhere to federal law in most cases, especially when it comes to policies involving healthcare, education, civil rights, environmental protection, labor standards, product standards, gun laws, and financial regulation. In many cases, I find that a lot of state and local governments don’t serve their constituents’ best interests, especially when it concerns women, minorities, and the poor. But I do make exceptions when I think federal policy may not be unjust, inadequate, and prone to a lot of abuse particularly when it comes to national policy dealing with undocumented immigrants. The fact states and localities have developed their own policies to dealing with ICE and undocumented immigrants illustrates how federal immigration policy badly needs reform which won’t happen anytime soon. States and localities instituting sanctuary policies have very good reasons to enact them. They may not always be about protecting undocumented immigrants living among them, especially since it’s not just liberal cities adopting these policies. Or in jurisdictions where sanctuary policies would have widespread support like in rural and suburban Pennsylvania.Thus, penalizing sanctuary jurisdictions won’t be a very good idea in any case because they’re clearly not the problem. Sanctuary policies are more like a flawed and necessary substitute to work around a broken immigration system that needed to be fixed a long time ago but hasn’t. The best deterrence would be to pass comprehensive immigration reform which opens a path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants as well as requiring ICE detainers be issued with warrants and court orders. Now that I think about it, perhaps instead of punishing sanctuary jurisdictions, maybe our politicians should spend time in them and learn about their policies and why they enact them. And perhaps put those policies into congressional legislation. We can start by making US Senator Pat Toomey spend his congressional recess at his Allentown home for he really needs to know why Lehigh County enacted the kind of sanctuary policy he’s so vigorously opposed as well as a lesson on Galarza v. Szalczyk. Nevertheless, if the US government can’t come up with a federal immigration policy this nation needs, then expect more state and local governments enacting their own ideas to make the best of a sticky situation.

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I end this post by bringing you a picture of the red covered bridge near where I live in the sanctuary jurisdiction of Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania. Let it be known that sanctuary policies aren’t just limited to liberal urban enclaves like San Francisco. They can also exist in rural areas like this that don’t have a lot of liberals in them. Or a lot of people supporting sanctuary policies either. You can even live in a sanctuary jurisdiction and not even know it. Keep that in mind.

The Wonderful World of the Teddy Bear (Second Edition)

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Two years ago, I did a post on Teddy Bears which many people loved since I got a lot of views on it. But since my country is now in the winter of its discontent and that Valentine’s Day will be around soon, I thought I could do another. After all, we all need some cuteness in our lives now and then. And what toy can be any cuter than a fuzzy, wuzzy teddy bear you can cuddle with? Nevertheless, these are mainly toys for kids and a lot of people may not like receiving them for Valentine’s Day. Yet, at the same time, it’s a highly popular toy that has so many variations from places like Build-A-Bear Workshop, Steiff, Gund, Boyds, and the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. I mean you’ll find all kinds of bears suited for holidays, special occasions, occupations and activities, and even celebrities. Oh, and you have to see the ones of fictional characters. So for your reading pleasure, I give you another assortment of these adorable plushies of joy.

  1. Han Solbear shot first.
Wait until his girlfriend's dad freezes him in carbonite and gives him to Bearba Fett to hand him to Jabba. Then he won't look so tough. Also, travels with an alien who resembles a Sasquatch.

Wait until his girlfriend’s dad freezes him in carbonite and gives him to Bearba Fett to hand him to Jabba. Then he won’t look so tough. Also, travels with an alien who resembles a Sasquatch.

2. Lord Furatio Nelson always looks dashing in his naval uniform.

Of course, he should only have one arm in this. But he looks adorable anyway.

Of course, he should only have one arm in this. But he looks adorable anyway. May come with bear of Lady Hamilton.

3. Fuzz Lightyear is always to infinity and beyond.

He even has a cap to show off his own ears. And a suit with his own wings.

He even has a cap to show off his own ears. And a suit with his own wings.

4. Of course, there’s always a cuddly bad boy around town.

This gangster bear has his own machine gun and even that doesn't keep you wanting to hug him. Though he does know how to dress.

This gangster bear has his own machine gun and even that doesn’t keep you wanting to hug him. Though he does know how to dress.

5. A pirate captain bear should always sport a colorful coat for the high seas.

Well, he certainly has a nice jacket. But you wouldn't want to come aboard his ship.

Well, he certainly has a nice jacket. But you wouldn’t want to come aboard his ship.

6. And you thought you wouldn’t want to see a hairy girl on the beach.

Well, at least she knows how to have fun in the sun. And she doesn't seem to show a lot of fur.

Well, at least she knows how to have fun in the sun. And she doesn’t seem to show a lot of fur.

7. Marco Polbear always loves to go on an adventure.

Though we're not sure if his account on China was factual or just made up. But he does look cute with a map and telescope.

Though we’re not sure if his account on China was factual or just made up. But he does look cute with a map and telescope.

8. Wondy Bear is always here to save the day.

Yet, this is her in her more modest attire with the star skirt. Still, she's here to inspire love.

Yet, this is her in her more modest attire with the star skirt. Still, she’s here to inspire love.

9. This festive caroler makes sure to dress for the yuletide season.

Though despite looking adorable, she tends to make people a bit scared at her. Also, can't carry much of a tune.

Though despite looking adorable, she tends to make people a bit scared at her. Also, can’t carry much of a tune.

10. It’s not easy being green in the land of Oz.

Yet, just remember that she has every right to her sister's ruby slippers. And that you don't want her anywhere near water.

Yet, just remember that she has every right to her sister’s ruby slippers. And that you don’t want her anywhere near water.

11. Hear ye, hear ye, comes the town crier bear.

Sure you may find it odd that he's dressed from the 18th century. But his attire suggests a festive spirit at the tavern.

Sure you may find it odd that he’s dressed from the 18th century. But his attire suggests a festive spirit at the tavern.

12. There’s nothing a baby appreciates more at their christening than this little bundle of hugs.

Well, I'm sure this is for a girl. Because having been to a lot of baptisms myself, boy babies usually wear a different outfit.

Well, I’m sure this is for a girl. Because having been to a lot of baptisms myself, boy babies usually wear a different outfit.

13. If you see a bear like this on Christmas Eve, you might be visited by 3 spirits.

Yes, this is a Jacob Marley Bear from A Christmas Carol. Chains not included.

Yes, this is a Jacob Marley Bear from A Christmas Carol. Chains not included.

14. There’s nothing people appreciate more than a teddy bear royal wedding.

Sure it may not be Will and Kate's wedding. But these royal newlyweds look adorable nonetheless.

Sure it may not be Will and Kate’s wedding. But these royal newlyweds look adorable nonetheless.

15. Sometimes you need a furry friend to help you surf the net.

However, please don't mind his broken glasses and bad fashion sense. He's very smart. Honest.

However, please don’t mind his broken glasses and bad fashion sense. He’s very smart. Honest.

16. Unto us, a cub is born.

Yes, this is a teddy bear nativity scene from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Shepherds and wise men not included.

Yes, this is a teddy bear nativity scene from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company. Shepherds and wise men not included.

17. He may not be a saint but it’s clear his cuteness is infallible.

Yes, it's another pope bear. Yes, I know I had one on the least teddy bear post. But this one has the funny hat and a different outfit.

Yes, it’s another pope bear. Yes, I know I had one on the least teddy bear post. But this one has the funny hat and a different outfit.

18. Of course, Lucille Bear always had spunk.

Well, this is a Vermont Teddy Bear tribute to I Love Lucy. And they seem to have this bear in Lucy's chocolatier outfit.

Well, this is a Vermont Teddy Bear tribute to I Love Lucy. And they seem to have this bear in Lucy’s chocolatier outfit.

19. Accountant Bear will help you do your taxes.

Okay, not really. But you have to like how he has an initialed briefcase and his own calculator.

Okay, not really. But you have to like how he has an initialed briefcase and his own calculator.

20. This little ball of fur nearly makes it to the finish line.

Yes, this is a marathon bear. And he has on his little number to show for it.

Yes, this is a marathon bear. And he has on his little number to show for it.

21. Optometry bear wants to know if you can see anything.

Comes with an eye chart. Though glasses don't seem to be included.

Comes with an eye chart. Though glasses don’t seem to be included.

22. If you’re Jewish, your kids will delight in this Hanukkah moose.

Sure it's no a Hanukkah tradition. But I couldn't resist leaving it out like I did the last time. Plus, it's adorable.

Sure it’s no a Hanukkah tradition. But I couldn’t resist leaving it out like I did the last time. Plus, it’s adorable.

23. A yoga bear should know how to strike a pose.

Includes a yoga mat with carrier. Not sure what this pose is supposed to be though.

Includes a yoga mat with carrier. Not sure what this pose is supposed to be though.

24. Apparently, this crooked bear is only a prisoner of your heart.

Comes with a heart and chain. Of course, this bear has to wear bright orange as modern prisoners do.

Comes with a heart and chain. Of course, this bear has to wear bright orange as modern prisoners do.

25. Even the bears of Vermont are feeling the Bern.

Love how the Bernie Sanders bear has his hairstyle. Yet, this Vermont teddy bear is always a champion for the working class of all types.

Love how the Bernie Sanders bear has his hairstyle. Yet, this Vermont teddy bear is always a champion for the working class of all types.

26. This zombie sweetheart teddy bear will make you rip your heart out.

Goes with the zombie bear I had in the post from 2 years ago. Like her dress, by the way.

Goes with the zombie bear I had in the post from 2 years ago. Like her dress, by the way.

27. The Obearmas will always have a special place in Americans’ hearts.

I already miss these two so much. They were such a great couple at the White House.

I already miss these two so much. They were such a great couple at the White House.

28. A British bear always wears khaki on his tour of duty.

However, as customary for British war bears, he doesn't wear pants. Yet, he looks dashing in his beige beret.

However, as customary for British war bears, he doesn’t wear pants. Yet, he looks dashing in his beige beret.

29. Dr. Bear will make your little dog better.

So that's what a teddy bear vet looks like. Not sure what to think about the bunny though.

So that’s what a teddy bear vet looks like. Not sure what to think about the dog though.

30. This little bear has now received a distinguished degree.

Well, it's not uncommon to buy teddy bears for graduation either. Also available in white.

Well, it’s not uncommon to buy teddy bears for graduation either. Also available in white.

31. This cuddly burglar is out to steal your heart.

It even has a little mask and sack. Love how it's holding hearts in its paws.

It even has a little mask and sack. Love how it’s holding hearts in its paws.

32. Someone must be cooking something in the kitchen.

Of course, her dress always has to match her oven mitt. And she can'd do without her wooden spoon.

Of course, her dress always has to match her oven mitt. And she can’d do without her wooden spoon.

33. Need a tissue?

I'm sure seeing the sight of this bear will make you feel better. Nice how the robe and slippers match.

I’m sure seeing the sight of this bear will make you feel better. Nice how the robe and slippers match.

34. On St. Paddy’s Day, how about you kiss this Irish bear?

For the record, I don't think there are bears in Ireland. But this guy's adorable anyway.

For the record, I don’t think there are bears in Ireland. But this guy’s adorable anyway.

35. A sewing maven always knows how to stick her pins.

She even has her own pin cushion and tape measure bow. But the dress is similar to the cooking bear.

She even has her own pin cushion and tape measure bow. But the dress is similar to the cooking bear.

36. Granny Bear is always full of wit and wisdom.

Sure most grannies don't wear dresses like that. But this is simply adorable.

Sure most grannies don’t wear dresses like that. But this is simply adorable.

37. Hope this pro can take a swing.

Well, she is quite a tennis pro. Sure she's not a Williams sister. But she's not half bad.

Well, she is quite a tennis pro. Sure she’s not a Williams sister. But she’s not half bad.

38. This trooper is proud to serve in the good old US of A.

Hope he's sure proud to be an American. Because I'm nor sure whether I am at the moment.

Hope he’s sure proud to be an American. Because I’m nor sure whether I am at the moment.

39. Fisher bear has a big catch of the day.

I wanted to put this on the teddy bear post 2 years ago but it was already full. So it goes on this one.

I wanted to put this on the teddy bear post 2 years ago but it was already full. So it goes on this one.

40. A gardening bear can have quite a green thumb.

I guess she likes to water the paw paw patch with her watering can. Nice how it matches her floppy hat.

I guess she likes to water the paw paw patch with her watering can. Nice how it matches her floppy hat.

41. Spa Bear just wants a little R&R.

Don't mind her. She just wants to enhance her beauty and take a day off from the den.

Don’t mind her. She just wants to enhance her beauty and take a day off from the den.

42. Golfer Bear strikes a hole in one.

Though golf is a boring sport, it's inexplicably popular. So I had to include this guy.

Though golf is a boring sport, it’s inexplicably popular. So I had to include this guy.

43. Snowboard bear takes to the slopes during the winter.

However, it doesn't seem to snow much in my neck of the woods this winter. Though he certainly looks quite cool with his shades.

However, it doesn’t seem to snow much in my neck of the woods this winter. Though he certainly looks quite cool with his shades.

44. This riding bear is dressed in full habit.

Horse not included. But it does make a rather elegant costume on a countryside estate.

Horse not included. But it does make a rather elegant costume on a countryside estate.

45. You can climb aboard this captain’s boat anytime.

Even has a float with a sentiment. Also like the hat.

Even has a float with a sentiment. Also like the hat.

46. As a true American, this teddy believes in the right to bear hugs.

Well, at least the right to bear hugs is better than the right to bear arms. Though a Second Amendment teddy bear would be quite funny.

Well, at least the right to bear hugs is better than the right to bear arms. Though a Second Amendment teddy bear would be quite funny.

47. All this clown wants to do is put a smile on your face.

Now I don't find clowns typically endearing. But I think this is adorable to say the least.

Now I don’t find clowns typically endearing. But I think this is adorable to say the least.

48. This bear only wants a pizza your heart.

And it's dressed like a pizza slice as you can see. Though it's not picky about toppings.

And it’s dressed like a pizza slice as you can see. Though it’s not picky about toppings.

49. Fans of Game of Thrones will always love a mother of dragons regardless of species.

Though you don't see many from Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. And both those franchises are considerable more family friendly than Game of Thrones.

Though you don’t see many from Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. And both those franchises are considerable more family friendly than Game of Thrones.

50. This bear wishes you all health and smiles.

Even though it's in a smiley face hospital gown. Though I'm sure someone would get a chuckle.

Even though it’s in a smiley face hospital gown. Though I’m sure someone would get a chuckle.

51. Commodore Oliver Hazard Beary surely won’t give up his ship.

Though he surely looks quite military for the War of 1812. Love the uniform.

Though he surely looks quite military for the War of 1812. Love the uniform.

52. A teddy bear like this can capture the essence of Joseph and His Technicolor Dream Coat.

Just wait until his brother rip his coat to pieces and throw him in a well. Hey, that's how the story goes, folks.

Just wait until his brother rip his coat to pieces and throw him in a well. Hey, that’s how the story goes, folks.

53. I wish Will and Kate the beary best.

Okay, these are the Will and Kate teddy bears. Hard to believe they have two kids who look like miniature versions of themselves.

Okay, these are the Will and Kate teddy bears. Hard to believe they have two kids who look like miniature versions of themselves.

54. These Chinese bears bring you greetings to their humble surroundings.

Well, they surely know how to dress. However, I like the guy bear's hat the best.

Well, they surely know how to dress. However, I like the guy bear’s hat the best.

55. This black bear has an interesting stripe.

I know it's a certain bear but I can't put my finger on it. But I know it's not a black bear because they're usually all black.

I know it’s a certain bear but I can’t put my finger on it. But I know it’s not a black bear because they’re usually all black.

56. Even bears can have tons of fun during Ocktoberfest.

Though I'm not so much a fan of the lederhosen. Comes with a beer stein.

Though I’m not so much a fan of the lederhosen. Comes with a beer stein.

57. King Ludwig II always believes in kingly taste.

King Ludwig II of Bavaria was seen by many as a mad king obsessed with building his fairy tale castle. Though the project bankrupted the country, it's now a tourist destination.

King Ludwig II of Bavaria was seen by many as a mad king obsessed with building his fairy tale castle. Though the project bankrupted the country, it’s now a tourist destination.

58. In Australia, teddy koala bears are a thing.

Koalas are marsupials and not bears. Though that doesn't stop me from putting one on my post.

Koalas are marsupials and not bears. Though that doesn’t stop me from putting one on my post.

59. I’m sure nobody could resist this Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

This is from a teddy bear museum. Yet, I love how each one of them is dressed in the appropriate uniform.

This is from a teddy bear museum. Yet, I love how each one of them is dressed in the appropriate uniform.

60. Donald Trump Bear promises to make America great again.

Sure he might look cute now. But wait until your locale and family start supporting him and he becomes president. And he signs executive orders banning Muslim refugees.

Sure he might look cute now. But wait until your locale and family start supporting him and he becomes president. And he signs executive orders banning Muslim refugees.

61. This bear can always play the music of the night.

Of course, any teenage girl or young woman might find this Phantom of the Opera bear quite irresistible. Though he's certainly not a nice guy.

Of course, any teenage girl or young woman might find this Phantom of the Opera bear quite irresistible. Though he’s certainly not a nice guy.

62. Some bears just love to party sometimes.

Still, you don't want to clean up after this guy. Because drunk bears can really trash a place.

Still, you don’t want to clean up after this guy. Because drunk bears can really trash a place.

63. A bear of Old Fritz is one of German pride.

Frederick the Great was an 18th century King of Prussia who became an icon in Germany. However, despite being Hitler's hero, Old Fritz would've hated his Nazi fans. And the Nazis would've hated him if they knew he was a cultured and possibly gay Francophile.

Frederick the Great was an 18th century King of Prussia who became an icon in Germany. However, despite being Hitler’s hero, Old Fritz would’ve hated his Nazi fans. And the Nazis would’ve hated him if they knew he was a cultured and possibly gay Francophile.

64. For the Sun King Louis XIV, he is the state.

Louis XIV was perhaps Europe's longest reigning monarch who ruled France in a court of tremendous luxury. However, his precedents would lead to the French Revolution.

Louis XIV was perhaps Europe’s longest reigning monarch who ruled France in a court of tremendous luxury. However, his precedents would lead to the French Revolution.

65. Even a bear can become a graceful ballerina.

Contrary to popular belief, ballet dancers aren't sissies. Since what they do requires tremendous athleticism and stamina. Also, there are a lot of NFL players who take ballet classes.

Contrary to popular belief, ballet dancers aren’t sissies. Since what they do requires tremendous athleticism and stamina. Also, there are a lot of NFL players who take ballet classes.

66. Kaiser Wilhem II always sports a large pointy hat.

Sure he ruled Germany during WWI. But c'mon, this was made by a German company. Besides, the Kaiser wasn't as bad as the guy who led Germany in the next World War.

Sure he ruled Germany during WWI. But c’mon, this was made by a German company. Besides, the Kaiser wasn’t as bad as the guy who led Germany in the next World War.

67. Sir Huggins will be your knight in shining armor.

He even has his own shield with hearts. So you know he just wants your love.

He even has his own shield with hearts. So you know he just wants your love.

68. Willy Wonka bear is always as sweet as his candy.

However, he has no regard to safety and labor standards and has a sadistic streak in torturing naughty children. You've been warned.

However, he has no regard to safety and labor standards and has a sadistic streak in torturing naughty children. You’ve been warned.

69. Albert Bearstein is a noted genius.

And he only wears a vest. Like the crazy hair and mustache, too.

And he only wears a vest. Like the crazy hair and mustache, too.

70. A flapper bear is always 1920s chic.

She even has her own feather hat and halter dress. Hope she stays out of speakeasies.

She even has her own feather hat and halter dress. Hope she stays out of speakeasies.

71. The Japanese Emperor and Empress always hold a space in their subjects’ hearts.

So immortalizing them as teddy bears goes without saying. Because the Japanese always have a fondness for cuteness.

So immortalizing them as teddy bears goes without saying. Because the Japanese always have a fondness for cuteness.

72. St. Nick loves to give presents to the children around Christmas time.

Though he may not always be a nice guy when it comes to yuletide traditions in some countries. Like the outfit though.

Though he may not always be a nice guy when it comes to yuletide traditions in some countries. Like the outfit though.

73. Kiss this bear and he’ll turn into a prince.

Though his frog outfit can make him look just as cute. Still, it's all in the costume.

Though his frog outfit can make him look just as cute. Still, it’s all in the costume.

74. Hockey bear knows how to score a goal on the ice.

Well, he doesn't seem to have the proper safety equipment on. What if he gets injured or in a fight?

Well, he doesn’t seem to have the proper safety equipment on. What if he gets injured or in a fight?

75. This bear has nothing on him.

Though he wouldn't need a fig leaf to cover his privates. I mean he has fur.

Though he wouldn’t need a fig leaf to cover his privates. I mean he has fur.

76. This Vermont teddy bear is cozy in his green maple sweater.

Comes with a bottle of maple syrup. Love the maple leaf buttons.

Comes with a bottle of maple syrup. Love the maple leaf buttons.

77. This bear always tries to be at the height of fashion.

Here she is in her blue dress and shiny shoes. And yes, she has long brown hair, too.

Here she is in her blue dress and shiny shoes. And yes, she has long brown hair, too.

78. This retro bear lives the 1950s.

Unsurprisingly, she wears a poodle skirt. Though you don't see these a lot in 1950s fashion.

Unsurprisingly, she wears a poodle skirt. Though you don’t see these a lot in 1950s fashion.

79. This little peanut is totally nuts for you.

I'm not sure if he's advertising for Planters. But he's nevertheless adorable.

I’m not sure if he’s advertising for Planters. But he’s nevertheless adorable.

80. Help this bear make a wish before he blows out the candles.

It even has a crown along with the cake. Certainly for some kid's birthday.

It even has a crown along with the cake. Certainly for some kid’s birthday.